How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
Ignore These 5 Dating Lies—Or Stay Single Forever!
Tue, 25 Mar 2025
Is your dating confidence low? Do you get stuck in your head around women? You might be falling for one of the 5 most toxic dating myths. These lies crush your confidence, make it hard to talk to girls, and keep you stuck. In this episode, dating coach Connell Barrett busts these myths—and gives you 5 powerful fixes to help you confidently meet smart, sexy women… and do it with charm and authenticity!You’re about to learn:09:02: Why Your Looks Don’t Matter to Women17:59: The “Alpha Male” Lie that’s Killing Your Confidence27:47: A Mistake that Turns Women Off (And How to Fix It)37:36: How to Stop Running Out of Things to Say—Instantly47:22: The Secret to Fearless ApproachingTO ATTRACT YOUR DREAM GIRLFRIEND, BOOK A FREE CALL WITH CONNELL TO LEARN ABOUT 1-1 COACHING:http://www.DatingTransformation.comEMAIL CONNELL FOR A FREE COPY OF HIS NO. 1 AMAZON BESTSELLING BOOK, “DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON’T”:[email protected]
Chapter 1: How can you date attractive women without being handsome?
Take it from a guy who's dated some of the most beautiful women, me, despite the fact that I look like a Weasley brother from the Harry Potter movies, you don't have to be some Hollywood handsome guy. Welcome back to the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast. I'm your host, dating coach Conal Barrett. I am here to help you flirt with confidence and get a great girlfriend.
All by being authentic, what I call radical authenticity. In other words, no pickup artist moves, no weird fake toxic alpha male nonsense. Just being your true best real self because women like you for you. And I have a question for you. Have you ever said to yourself, if only I was better looking, I'd have a better dating life. Women would be more into me.
Or have you ever said to yourself, I just don't know what to say. I don't know how to flirt. I don't know. I run out of things to say. I'm not sure what to say. If I could just talk to women better, if I could flirt better, I would be able to get more dates and get a great girlfriend, get a great relationship. Or maybe You've said to yourself, shit, I just don't have the money.
I'm too old or I'm not rich enough. Well, if any of those thoughts have ever come to you, today's episode will help you because these are common myths. There are some big myths in dating that are hurting your confidence. And by hurting your confidence, it's hurting your dating life. One of the myths is that it's all about looks. Another myth is, ah, women only want really rich guys, right?
The three sixes. Six pack abs, six figures, six feet tall, other ways to be six something. And basically, this can take a toll on your confidence. It can make you try hard with a woman. Bottom line is it can hurt your confidence and make you insecure. And it's the
Insecurity, it's the lower confidence that really hurts you much more than your bank account or how good looking you think you need to be or are. And it can kill attraction. It can keep you from approaching women. And yeah, so there are these five really toxic, poisonous, damaging myths that are hurting so many men. Some of these myths I'm confident are hurting you.
So what I'm going to do today is go through these five common dating myths, five of the biggest, maybe the five biggest, and I'm going to go through and destroy them for you, with you. Because the truth is you don't need to be super tall, super handsome, super ripped to have a great dating life, to attract a wonderful woman in your life.
You just need to take the right action, learn the right way to flirt, and feel a certain amount of self-confidence, and that is going to get you the girlfriend you want. So today we're going to take a sledgehammer, take some dynamite to five of the biggest myths that hold men back, and I'll bet some of these are holding you back, okay? So we're going to break that down.
Hey, by the way, before we break it down, I want to mention a client that I have who's just crushing it. I'm going to call him Aaron. Aaron lives in Australia. although he's American, he spends six months in the US, six months in Australia, and he's in Sydney right now.
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Chapter 2: What are the common myths that damage men's dating confidence?
Chapter 3: What does it mean to have radical authenticity in dating?
And the top five included kindness, intelligence, education, being supportive, confidence was there. Nowhere in the top five, nowhere in the top 10 was must be good looking. So looks are way overrated. take it from Ron Weasley's twin brother. You don't have to be Hollywood handsome to date an incredibly attractive woman. So what do you wanna do then? So what's the move?
Well, the move is to play to your strengths. Instead of focusing on what you lack, you wanna start focusing on what you offer. Focusing on what you think you lack is only gonna hurt you. Play to your strengths. If you're intelligent, Lean into your intelligence when talking to women. And even before you talk to women, remind yourself how intelligent you are.
If you have wit, if you have sense of humor, then lean into that. Get good at flirting. I mean, one of the main things that I do here on the podcast, I try to do, is help guys like you become amazing at flirting. Do what I call man-to-woman communications.
Not every woman wants a Brad Pitt-looking guy, but every woman wants a guy who's good at flirting or who can make her feel sexy and knows how to chat and flirt with her. And so basically this comes down to accentuating the positive, okay? If you are great-looking, great. Awesome bonus. But if not... Feature something else.
For me, it's my sense of humor and my sense of playfulness and my flirting skills. I'm really funny on my better days and I'm good at flirting. I've been working on it for 20 years. I better be. So I play to my strengths. So bottom line, if you don't have good looks, that's okay.
Feature what you do bring to the table, whether it's your intelligence, your sense of humor, your heart, your sense of fun. Not every woman wants a great looking guy. Most women don't care. Every woman wants to have fun on a date. Become more fun. Become a better flirt. Show off your intelligence. Show off your wit.
That is going to be so much more attractive to women than how good looking you may or may not be. Okay. The next myth I want to talk to you about is number two. The myth is that women want to date alpha males. Total BS. The truth is alpha males don't exist. They literally aren't a thing. There is no such thing as an alpha male. In nature, that is. Don't get me wrong. Different men are assertive.
Some men are assertive. Some men are more passive. Some men are more neutral. If that's your definition of alpha male, fine. But that's not about being an alpha male. There is no such thing as an alpha male. Let me back up, though. Let me tell you a quick story. I was once in a in a conference room in Vegas taking this pickup seminar as a student, this BO drenched dark Vegas conference room.
And this pickup dude on stage was like kind of strutting back and forth praising the supposed panty dropping power of being a dominant man, an alpha man. And he had this stupid catchphrase. It was so freaking annoying. He said, the alpha male gets all the tail. He was so over the top, I almost thought it was like performance art. But it wasn't.
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