How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
How to Be Bold, Flirty—and Never, Ever ‘That Creepy Guy’: A Dating Guide for Modern Gentlemen
03 Jun 2025
Dating and flirting can feel like a minefield. If you’re like many men in the #MeToo era, the fear of seeming creepy or weird can crush your confidence. In this episode of “How to Get a Girlfriend,” dating coach and bestselling author Connell Barrett shows you how to be bold, flirty, and totally respectful, so you can charm women without crossing any lines. This is your guide to building a real connection with class and confidence—as the modern gentleman women actually want!Highlights of this Episode:01:23: Avoid the Lunge, the First-Kiss Mistake that Women Hate06:25: How to Text Her in a Persistent, Charming Way—without Being Pushy or Thirsty09:30: The Do’s and Don’ts of Office Romance14:42: Should You Ask Her Permission to Kiss Her?18:21: How to Sext in the Way Many Women Want25:33: What to Do—and Not Do—When She Visits Your Place for the First Time27:58: How to Respectfully Get Consent without Killing the Mood34:49: The Story of Alex, Who Helped Connell Become a Better Man42:00: What Women Need Most from Men TodayFOR A FREE STRATEGY CALL WITH CONNELL TO FIND OUT IF DATING COACHING CAN HELP YOU ATTRACT YOUR DREAM GIRLFRIEND:http://www.datingtransformation.comWANT A FREE COPY OF CONNELL’S NO. 1 AMAZON BESTSELLING BOOK, “DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON’T”? EMAIL CONNELL AND WRITE “FREE BOOK” IN THE SUBJECT LINE AND YOU’LL GET IT INSTANTLY:[email protected]
Full Episode
But I also want you to know that the litmus test for being a man is not how good you are with women. The litmus test for being a man is how good you are to women. Welcome back to the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast. I am your host, dating coach, Conal Barrett, helping you flirt with confidence, get more dates, and get a great girlfriend, all by being authentic. Authenticity is the secret.
And I want to open with a quick story from many, many years ago about a date I had that might resonate with you. Years ago, I'm on a first date. And I'm walking a woman named Stephanie to the subway from the bar. We just had our first date. And I hear this little voice in my head saying, kiss her, kiss her. As we walked to the subway, it's now or never do it.
And Stephanie and I stopped at a crosswalk near the end of the date. And then I went for it, but she had been checking her phone. So when she looked up, My incoming lips must have seemed like a sneak attack. She recoiled. And I caught the corner of her pursed mouth for a very awkward first kiss that she did not see coming. And I said, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I felt clumsy.
I felt a little bit creepy. And she said, it's okay. And then she vanished down the steps to catch the train. Good night. And there was no second date. She went totally quiet. Now, looking back years later, I now realize my rookie mistake. I call it the lunge. What is the lunge?
It happens near the end of a date when a guy like you or me, you sense that you've been playing it too safe and you feel pressure to make a move because you don't want to get friend-zoned. But at the same time, you don't want to make a woman feel uncomfortable, especially in the Me Too era. And so finally, feeling that you have to do something, you just go for the first kiss.
You lunge like a quarterback heaving a desperation fourth down pass. This usually doesn't end well because the woman is surprised, it's miscalibrated, and she either pulls back, which sucks and hurts, or she endures an awkward lip lock like poor Stephanie did that evening many years ago. If you're like most men, the Me Too era has made dating even more confusing than it was before.
You're a good-hearted guy, and you probably... If you're like a lot of guys, you feel caught between two extremes. On the one hand, you don't want to do anything appropriate. On the other hand, you fear that not making a move is going to lead you to hearing the dreaded, hey, let's just be friends, or I'm just not feeling a connection.
And so new dating lines have been drawn post Me Too, and you might not be sure where they are. Can you approach in the daytime, or is that harassment? Can you ask for her number? Or do you have to wait until she gives her number to you? Do you need verbal consent before sex, before foreplay, before kissing? Can you sext a woman? Is that creepy and wrong?
Well, in today's episode, I want to address some of the biggest problems that you might be facing in terms of looking for love here in the Me Too era. And I have really good news. I want you to know that because you are a man with integrity, you're a gentleman with good intentions, that actually dating today is gonna be, it's easier than you think. You can still make moves.
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