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Ja, hier sind der Weißclown und der dumme August. Hier sind Fest und Flauschig am Sonntag, den 20. Oktober 2024 bei Spotify und überall, wo es sonst Podcasts gibt. Mein Name ist Jan Böhmermann.
My name is Olli Schulz, a wonderful good morning also from my side. I am the co-pilot of this whole story. Will you try to drag me on the side of Jan Böhmermann through a 90-minute podcast today?
No, I was more in the mood to be the co-pilot today.
I wanted to go into your hands again today, because I thought that would be a Jan Böhmermann broadcast. I talked a lot in the last broadcast. Many say, give Böhmermann a little more time to breathe. No, I want to hold back today.
I want to sit on the passenger seat today and you drive today, because you are a much better car. No, not the better one, but the driver who risks more.
I'm the one who risks more in road traffic, but at the moment I haven't been flashed once since I got my driver's license again. What do you mean?
You haven't been flashed once in three weeks? What's going on?
In three months, Jan. In three months. I think I've been flashed since January 1st or January 1st. No, I don't know. At some point I got this driver's license again. And since then I've been driving much more carefully. This MPU, I really got stuck with it.
When I talked to this strict psychologist and she really looked deep into my soul, I realized, again, you don't want to let it all go over you. That's why it was really cutting-edge. But let's talk about the normal things right away. Jan, how was your week? You look tired.
I'm actually very tired. We had a very exhausting show recording week this week. And that's always the case when we do a show. Thursday is always the great party day, where we record it and where everyone is in the studio and everything is exciting. But it was a very strenuous preparation this week, because it's always super, super simple legal topics.
All these confrontations that have to go out to the people for weeks in advance, the questions you have to ask them and so on. So it was really very exhausting and I really talked a little bit. I had one session after the other. And I'm a little bit like, oh, I'm actually tired of holidays. But unfortunately, I don't have any holidays. Me neither.
I've been confronted the whole last week with these things that you do that don't really make much fun of you. I had to report to the civil service, Jan.
Are you already moved again or why?
You know that I'm moved. But it's been forever. But it's just not that easy to get a so-called appointment at the civil service. Because there are no appointments. You can't just go there, get a note from them and then re-register. Because somehow they're all...
But it's all online now, I've read. In Berlin it's completely switched to digital, you can sign up online.
Now it's digital, yes, because it's completely collapsed. But that has just crossed itself with my appointment, which I got three weeks ago. You get a six-digit number, you have to be at 10.47 a.m. in the civil service, where was that, where I was? Pankow, I think. Bürgeramt Pankow or Spandau? Pankow, Pankow.
I was at the Bürgeramt, checked everything at 10.47 am, because I didn't want to be too late. I sat in the overcrowded waiting room and these six-digit numbers were counted. Of course, I was already there at 10.30 am, because I didn't want to miss it, not at all. Because I'm not sure how often this number is shown again, if you're not there on time at 10.47 am.
Also habe ich mich da früh hingesetzt und es war 10.47 Uhr, meine Nummer kam nicht. Es war 10.57 Uhr, meine Nummer kam nicht. Es war 11.07 Uhr, meine Nummer kam nicht. Es war 11.17 Uhr, meine Nummer kam immer noch nicht. Ich bin dann in die lange Schlange, habe ich mich angestellt, zur Information. Es gibt auch eine sogenannte Information.
A snake where you have to pull a number to ask what the number is that you pulled.
Exactly. It's really, I was, and I've already sweated again, I'm not made for such things. There are certain things, standing in a snake for a long time in a bio-company, I'm not the type for this. And just like at the civil service office.
Yes, but in a bio-company, you know, that's a free market economy, there are no disciplines. At the civil service office, you can't actually, you can't allow yourself to not be in line or to behave somehow strange, because that's the office. You've hopefully had respect there.
Yeah, I was just thinking if you've ever done something like that in your life. No, why?
Are you stupid? Of course! I come from a civil servant family.
All civil servants are with me.
You go to the civil servant yourself.
Yes, how else? How else? I turn around as often as you do. My manager. Your manager gets a full power from you. And then he calls me. That doesn't work at all. It was on Stern TV that you somehow pulled out such a strange full power. You remember those real estate stories that I made with the Rambo clan in Berlin? You mean these numbers? That's also cool. That's the question with Abu Shaka.
Let's jump to Bushido. He got 50% Arafat. But the question is whether he also made the transfer for Bushido. Or if he just spent the money. Or Bushido to Arafat at some point says, here, I'm moving. You have to transfer me.
That has rights and obligations. You now have half of everything I have. But you also have to transfer my car. Or extend my ID card. I haven't been on a civil service for a long time.
Of course, you haven't changed for a long time. But now I have to tell you briefly. Then I got employed in this gang and I always ran from this gang back into the waiting room to see if my number was on when it rang. But it wasn't on. And then at some point I was in this gang, in this info, and then I came to Ms. Karnitz. I would like to thank Ms. Karnitz very much at this point.
Liebe Grüße auch von mir, Frau Karnitz. Ich habe Sie in meine Gebete eingeschlossen in den letzten Abenden, weil Frau Karnitz hat in meinen panischen Augen und auf meiner durchgeschwitzten Stirn erkannt, dass dieser Mann nicht mehr für längere Zeit hier in diesem Bürgeramt zu gebrauchen ist. Und hat dann gesagt, wissen Sie was, das machen wir jetzt schnell hier. Weil ich sehe, Sie sind fertig.
Ich musste auch zur Schule.
Das ist eine tickende Zeitbombe, dieser Olli Schulz ist eine tickende Zeitbombe.
Before you start screaming here, she then got angry and then in the queue, the others had to wait behind me for five minutes, she did it quickly, she called me, put the sticker on my back on my Perso and did it all. I want to say at this point, Ms. Karnitz is a really great woman, she really did a great job and works as a citizen at Pankow.
And I hope that someone will send her this message, because she really got me out of a strange thing. I had asked at the Förtner before. I was so desperate. I was at the Förtner and said, is this really going to move forward? My number should come half an hour ago. And then he looked up and said, they're always hanging here. They're always hanging here. And I said, all right, thank you.
Well, and then Ms. Karnitz solved it for me and I'm now re-registered. That was once such a, that's what I'm then, the rest of the day I go on the sofa and say, I'm so done with this action.
And you know what I, as an old family member, what I feel like vaccinating now? Also an extra shout out to all the people who don't work in the front office at the office, in the catastrophe office, people who organize the basic tax, people who never have customer contact. Ey, you are the backbone of our society. Of our society.
Who are they really, man? Yes, really.
And not only the people you see with good or bad mood, where you have stories to tell. But really, who makes, I don't know, who makes the disaster? Who brings the bike paths in and some weird plans in programs that have not been updated since 1997? Who sits in this big tank glass and cashes the money in or counts the cashed money after?
Who sits there at the finance office and watch out that you pay all the bills correctly? Hey, shout out to all social workers and social workers.
Just the word social worker. One of these Christian holidays and simply an honorary day for all people who work in social services, who work in offices in the civil service, who have to be insulted all day long or anything else they ask, from guys like me who are being harassed when they actually get there. Social workers, that's the word. Sachbearer, sachbearer.
Maybe two or three days a year that we really honor people who are really important or in positions that are much too little considered. And then we all stand up like Boris Becker on the roof, on the balcony and clap together.
But what a great word, sachbearer. What is he doing? Yes, he is working. Yes, what? Things. All right, job done. Sachbearer. Sachbearer. Sachbearer. My dear Oliver, we have to briefly, because I would cut you off right away, because you were already annoyed and said, please don't talk about it.
But we recognize here that the great Joe Dinosaur Thomas G., we don't want to pronounce his name at all, because his name is called so often, hangs in every talk show to present his book, in which it is about the fact that he is not allowed to say anything anymore. Roughly, I think the end of his monologue from his last Wetten, dass? show brought it out as a book form.
That is somewhat, I don't want to say sad, but somehow exhausting to look at it. We have already had a broadcast about the Spiegel interview, which was already released last week. We have already had a broadcast in the meantime. We didn't have that out of boredom, because it's so predictable. Although it was a great interview, I have to say. I really liked that interview.
I haven't even read it yet.
But I read it in the book, Jan, and I can really tell you, it's really not good. It's tragic. It's just tragic to see that he didn't really get out of the horizon at some point. is, let's say, in the sunset and makes a nice life somewhere and can form his own thoughts.
And now there is of course such a very stupid game between people who talk about it, about the obvious, what can be seen there, people who now say, yes, look here, like this old man and that, that is also clear. But shouldn't you just not thematize it that much? I mean, the online media all need discussion material every day.
And of course, if you look at these old recordings, how he's sitting on the sofa, how he's touching Veronica Ferris or someone else, it's absolutely embarrassing. And back then you didn't even notice that. But I think at the moment there are so many worse things and important things. And maybe, well, he wants promo, right? He wrote this book, then you have to say, he really wants it.
He really wants it. He wants it.
I also know how it works, so to say, to stumble into some interview situations and tell shit, so in the half-consciousness that he's telling shit right now.
I just looked at Spiegel Online, since the moment the interview was published, the big, come on, we didn't even name it, really cool, Thomas G., great showmaster, the older ones will remember, a conversation between Vicky Bargel and Alexander Kühn. Alexander Kühn is the old leatherhead at Spiegel, he's been with us for a long time, he's seen everyone come and go.
But Vicky Bargel, the colleague who is in charge, in the subtitle it will be... It's from Joey Bargeld, the sister.
Vicky Bargeld?
No, it's not Bargeld. Vicky Bargel. Without the D. Oh, I have Bargeld. Flicksa and Vicky Bargel. Okay. So Vicky Bargel and Alexander Kühn. And I'm just understating now, because Alexander Kühn, that's also an understatement, an excessive, half nostalgic, but somehow also...
deep connection to Thomas G. I'm understating this connection because I know from Alexander Kühn, the Spiegel media guy, that he once did a, I think, a internship many years ago in the Wetten, that?
editorial office, as a very young man and that was a bit of his entry into the world of the media and Vicky Bargel is a young colleague with whom he conducted the interview and I'm just suggesting that the awesome answers and the responses to the answers from Thomas G. that they come from the young colleague Vicky Bargel and I really So this whole interview is an absolute destruction.
That you still dare to go public afterwards. Spectacular. I've been looking since this interview, that was on October 11th, there are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 articles only on SPIEGEL ONLINE within six days that sort of re-meld this whole self-made case properly. So Thomas G. He's not just an object, he's also a machine to keep the clicks going. Also with Spiegel Online, you have to say.
And I just wish him to make some money on the old days.
So that he becomes a click phenomenon.
He's not an influencer in the actual sense, but he's very present and I find it quite sad. But I think it's spectacular how people who have interviewed him, for such a big feature that there are now quotes from people who interviewed him, where the people who interviewed him talk about the leading interview. So such a big media event that there are already meta evaluations.
So there are already quotes sent around, where the people who interviewed him say on a quote on Instagram how it was to interview him and what he said exactly.
Exactly, and about that there might be another recap in a year, you know, where you can see everything again. Back then, how was it with Thomas Gottschalk? Everything is being mocked and also the Spiegel has to keep its readers entertained. You can only do that with these reports that are currently being discussed completely.
I definitely want to encourage you all, dear hard and fluffy listeners, not to jump on this promo train. Just leave it on the left. We've talked enough about it now. And your attention or your interest for thoughts of old show bunnies, I would like to redirect to a great audiobook, which my friend and colleague Olli Schulz once put on the table for me four years ago.
Wo ich wirklich süchtig bin, eine öffentliche Person, die nicht mehr lebt, leider, aber die auch eine ganz enge Verbindung zu uns hat oder wir zu ihr zumindest. Es geht um die neuen Tagebücher von Manfred Krug. Ich höre sie gerade. Ich höre sie auch gerade. Und ich habe in letzter Zeit morgens längere Elektroscooter-Touren gemacht durch meine... Cologne.
Because it was such a beautiful autumn weather. And I always think it's great in the morning when the sun is so golden. And Cologne is not a beautiful city, everyone knows that. But Cologne is somehow, there are places in Cologne that are beautiful. So to drive over the Deutsche Brücke, shortly after sunrise, when there is still a little moisture and night dew in the air.
And it's cold and you're on the scooter and you hear this diary by Manfred Krug, who really started at some point. So I would say in the mid-90s or when did it start? End of the 90s. He had a very tight diary in his last few years of life, for reasons that he also explains in the diary. And he made that very attentive and very accurate.
And above all, he also kept very important things in mind, which now, 20 years later, their... entfalten und ihre volle Bedeutung entfalten. Es macht wirklich einen ganz großen Spaß. Und Daniel Krug, der Sohn von Manfred Krug, liest es hervorragend. Und man ab und zu schimmert so ein bisschen auch die Stimme seines Vaters durch. Diese dann noch sehr volle, typische Manfred Krug Stimme.
Der Tonfall. Genau, ich finde es ganz toll, auch diese Zeit dadurch noch mal irgendwie so als dabei gewesener noch zu erleben. Wenn ihr euch interessiert dafür, wie es früher war, dann hört euch lieber das Tagebuch von Manfred Krug an. Das gibt es auch bei Spotify. It's so crazy.
The third day books are coming out and they treat the time between 2000 and 2001. And then I think, that's not that long ago. That's 23, 24 years ago. But you still think, fuck 2000, I was 27. And I just moved to Bremen, Bremermoor, between Bremen and Bremerhaven. Fuck, that's just 24 years ago.
And then from time to time, he has, I think, what I really like about him is, sometimes he describes something, he says, yes, I saw this and that, this advertising, the people think now you have to do that. And then he just says, these fuckers.
And then it goes on like that.
Or also such a very bright assessment of the young Sarah Wagenknecht, who didn't play a role back then compared to today, where he just predicts everything with just two sentences, what we have in our present with Sarah Wagenknecht politically. Also the collapse of the PDS back then and the re-education of the left party and the role of Gregor Gysi.
It's all a bit blast from the past, but honestly, Thomas G. tells basically about the time of 24 years ago. It just feels like it's something that you should be doing in the present.
That it's of great relevance. And one thing, Jan, very briefly. I've been listening to these diaries for four days now. Eight hours, by the way. Just that you can listen to them for so long, it's so awesome. But you just wish it never stops. At least for me. I'm in such a warm...
And then he says in one scene, I still have to put the book of Gerd Ledig, Reconciliation, about the Second World War and the gray and so on. He also has a very cool political attitude, I think, about everything, about Nazis and such. So he brings a few things, just things well on point.
And this book I actually have, then I was yesterday, I just have this book for myself, because he talked about it. I have this book yesterday in an antiquarian, which is not far from me, where I always wanted to go in, I went in, asked for the book, did you have it there? And then I just got this book here.
But isn't it nice that Manfred Krug wrote it in his diary 24 years after he wrote it? And how long has it been since he died? A little less than ten years? When did he die?
In 2015 or so. I was with him in his last TV appearance. I think I told you that.
Yes, you told me a thousand times. I remember. Manfred Krug died in 2016. Oh, in our big... When we started with Fest und Flauschig, he lived there for another half a year and then he died. But interesting.
And then we had this... Look, we're doing this a little bit good again. This gag back then. He was the best in the Sesamstraße. For whom we not only received praise, but also between a classic of our Fest und Flauschig story. Our achievement, in quotation marks. Exactly. And we give him a little recognition with his work and these diaries and the praise that we do here.
Yes, and I also find his somewhat unselfishness written into his own diary.
the real idleness that probably many people in his environment have also felt. I can imagine that it was incredibly unpleasant.
But I did an interview with his daughter. For the second book I did an interview with his daughter during the Hamburg Haber Literature Festival. And she also said, that was not an easy guy, but also very openly and honestly, I found it very nice how she dealt with it. It was a very nice evening that I had back then, I remember that very well.
So listen to the audio book, it's everywhere where there are audio books. I think it's also available on Spotify. Wait a minute, I'll have a quick look.
And while you keep googling, of course the audio book is available on Spotify. I hear it on Spotify. I have heard it on BookBeat, but I also find it on Spotify. Before we move on to the current topic, Jan, actually, I told you about the Italian-Swiss game and this woman next to me. The two strong women who then shot one of the viewers together.
You told the last show. They fought together because she screamed, all Swiss are gay.
Yes. Which is really embarrassing and stupid, especially when you're sitting there with your child. Well, she got up, we sat next to each other the whole time, it didn't come to my mind, or rather I wrote it on a piece of paper during the summer vacation with all the stories that I want to tell, because I somehow changed my mind a few times.
And this woman, she lives in Hamburg, was born in Oldenburg, is half German, half Swiss and her name is Rachel Rynast. I hope I'm pronouncing it right. Rachel, not Rachel. Rachel Rhinast. And she's currently still playing for the Amateurs, but she's actually a Sky commentator. And I think she's a very pleasant person. We sent each other voice messages. And maybe we'll go for a coffee.
That's so sweet.
So you got in touch with her via Instagram?
She messaged me on Instagram and made a little story that I shared. And very warm greetings to Rachel Rinas. It was really nice that you messaged me. It was also a bit uncomfortable for me, because a few people want to misunderstand something like that. Olli, I'll help you when you're looking, if you don't get these women out of your head.
She was just cool for her courage and for being a nice person who sat next to me. And we saw this game together. And somehow I remembered it and just thought it was cool. And that's all. And you don't have to make more of it now. People sometimes send me, oh sometimes I get so much mail and so many things too. Kilometer-long things about social injustice and other things.
We could actually do five podcasts, Jan. Four, where we just read the letters from all our listeners. But of course we can't do that. But thank you very much. I try to read as much as possible. And a lot is already filtered out for my Hiwi, who always pre-works my post at Olli Schulz's address and deletes it.
From which you think, you don't have to read that, you shouldn't read that, that's crap anyway. But it's still a lot of stuff that I get in mail. We will never underline everything here.
No, exactly. Even if you write to us and if we don't answer right away. Just a huge sorry, a huge excuse. The second exhausting story this week after the promo release of Thomas G. about which there is already a Meta and MetaMeta report. Also somehow in such a media blog directly read how clever he is doing that he is now playing all of this on the keyboard of the media and so on.
I don't know if you can tell him how planned it is or if it's just the way it is and it's been working for years.
Yes, I've read that too. It's all planned.
Yes, of course, of course. I think it's just like always with people, such a mixture of coincidence, a little stupidity, a little commitment and a little bit of cleverness. It's never all planned out like that. But a second very exhausting story. Where I was told that I had something to do with it, you noticed the disappearance of the mouse this week.
The mouse from the show with the mouse has disappeared. There is in Cologne, in the city center, or what was left of it after the war, I fell asleep to a YouTube video.
the 1000 bomber attack on cologne where an american military blogger told how cologne was laid in rubble and ash and so show me such small planes like in a computer game how the bombers flew so that they could do it over the borders of the empire to lay rubble and ash in cologne that's what i sleep in in the evening i sleep in super fast and then there is
It's like a scene where planes fly over the city. No, it's not a documentary.
I don't know why, but since the Ukraine war is going on, I'm interested in videos of people explaining military strategy to me. And when they fight from the field. I thought it was exciting, but not so exciting that I didn't fall asleep. The city of Cologne is definitely covered in rubble and ashes. And in the broken city of Cologne, everything has been built up again.
And in the middle of the city of Cologne is the WDR, which I think is half Cologne together with the Catholic Church. And next to a building of the West German Rundfunk, my former employer, attention, disclosure, transparency, there is a small mouse. It's made of some hard material, so that some Nazis smear it with crosses.
A small mouse from the show with a mouse, which is about as big as a nine-year-old child. And it's always such an attraction. In the Kölner Innenstadt there is nothing, there is the big church, the Dome, named after a chart show from the 90s. The Dome at RTL 2. And then there is ... and then there is still ... Like a mouse.
And then every now and then you see Cardinal Woelki on a tandem with sunglasses through the city center. Is John Pütz still alive? John Pütz is still alive, but he's in a sex dungeon. He won't come out anymore.
He sold the rest of his life as a sex slave.
We have to be careful since recently about personal rights violations here at Fest und Flauschig. No, with Jean Pütz you can really say that he turned up properly in his old age, the sex regulator. When I saw him the last time, he was a guest on my show at ZDF Neo. And then it was actually always about sex. Also in his old age, somehow well smeared, somehow smooched through half Cologne, I'll say.
That's such a thing. I hope he's doing well, he's still alive. And I think it's also very nice greetings. In any case, the mouse has been stolen. And that is...
It was dismantled one morning, there were screws on the bottom, the mouse was gone, huge hello in the WDR, normally such things do not happen in the WDR, when such big things go wrong, they actually only notice that when some right-wing extreme newspaper writes about it, it was noticed by the people in the WDR, because the mouse was no longer there, maybe he had to somehow...
The superintendent touches the mouse every morning so that he has some luck on the day or something. I don't know, it was quite early. And then a tiring search game began. Who stole the mouse? Because the WDR was not behind it. Then he also claimed publicly that we were not behind it. But then political videos appeared.
The mouse has disappeared from protests against the shortcomings of programs in the public broadcasting. And then the mouse also appeared at some point in a video in Cologne Ehrenfeld, where it was spoken badly. Here, this is according to the motto with the mouse melody. If you make funny contributions for television, the first thing that comes to mind is, I make a mouse contribution.
Then you take the music underneath and speak very badly like Christoph or Armin from the mouse and then it's kind of funny. And then it was also said, yes, the mouse was seen in Ehrenfeld with her friend Jan Böhmermann. And then we have 10,000 people, 80,000 media requests. Mr. Böhmermann, are you stuck in the disappearance of the mouse? No, dude, to be honest, I really don't care about the mouse.
Honestly.
Yes, and as you just said, this song, that everyone was like, here we have a coffee cup, here we go again. Everyone has brought that, everyone who wears a sense of humor has used this case or maybe a reel has been tinkered with.
Yes, the mouse has definitely appeared in Ehrenfeld and that was incredibly unoriginal. In the end, at the end of the day, the campaign network Kampakt or Kampakt was behind it. And I don't know where the mouse is now. And it's a bit, honestly, the mouse at WDR is a little bit like Thomas G. at ZDF.
Also such a thing, as long as the mouse is down there, they think at WDR everything is fine, we are somehow an innovative sender with the future. But in the end it's also just such a reminder that the the glorious days are already a few decades behind.
That's how much I love the mouse, but it unbinds the existence of the mouse, does not unbind the WDR from trying out a few new things and not always dealing with yourself. It's a bit like that. How do you think that now? There is such a round-the-clock reform, it should be shortened to broadcasts.
Which broadcast should be set?
Yes, an absolute cheekiness, we spoke about it last week. Which broadcasts would be unbearable for you? Which radio stations? What would you blow away? Red Bull TV, Bill TV.
But that's not publicly legal, it doesn't exist. Oh, for the publicly legal ones. Is Arte actually publicly legal? Yes, of course. German-French culture. Arte, definitely not. To be honest, the ranking list of Arte is the most important broadcaster for me.
Because if I want to see a documentary in the evening and I don't know what I want to see, or if I've watched 10 minutes on Amazon, Disney or something else and can't decide for anything, I just go to Arte and watch a documentary about some goat herds in Mongolia or something. Honestly, that's really escapism that I like. And Dreisat still has strong things.
And what can really go away, I think I would somehow get a fusion between WDR, hr3, bayern3 and n3.
That's difficult, because there are nine radio stations and they all have their own attendants. They have all third programs. I also think you shouldn't save on these spartan channels, but rather why do you still need hr television? Or why do you need the NDR television in the third? Why do you need a full program? What for? I ask myself. What is it with MDR? Stump.
Stump, right? But then you don't have the golden hands anymore. These live broadcasts once a year. You know, that should be shown somewhere else.
Yes, I ask myself why ARD can't... I think it's good that there are channels like Spatenkanäle, like Tagesschau, for example, 24, I like to watch and also One, I also like to watch, but why can't you just make a channel from One, where the local coverage runs from all over Germany?
And so that you also, but also, if you live in Hesse ... This shit, there are so Alpha, Bayern 3, Alpha ... Yeah, I don't know that either, man. And then I look at it and thought, if you look at it, it's my Alpha, but it has nothing to do with muscle growth, nothing with protein.
I thought it was from a colleague of the broadcaster.
No, I thought it was from an Alpha broadcaster and then I just look at it like that. with calculations and formulas and stuff. Nothing about alpha.
Then you're just a beta version of yourself. If you look at alpha, you'll be made into beta shit. Exactly, really. You can't do that. So in my opinion, this alpha-beta...
And why don't they do the third programs from ONE? Why don't they do all of them?
Because I think local news is also important, but do we really need seven shows in nine channels where some products are tested in pedestrian zones by some moderators with glasses who then say afterwards, the yogurt tastes particularly good to us, but there is somehow a cancerous substance in it that is not allowed in there or something? Does it really have to be produced regionally?
It can all be done on one channel.
No, it's all already RTL aktuell.
Yes, exactly. So I also think that can all be embedded in the third programs. And then I would be interested in it, if at AR Day One, for example, my Bremer local window runs at 7 p.m. My Bremer local window. That runs for half an hour. Then comes local time Cologne.
And then comes the bingo bear on NDR. The fat one.
No, we don't say that anymore. How do you say it?
Bleibte. Gemütliche. Gemütliche. Der Bingo-Bär. Ich mag den ja gerne. Ich auch. Macht ihr das noch, der Bingo-Bär?
Ich glaube ja. Oder sonst werden Wiederholungen ausgestrahlt.
Nobody knows that either. The bingo players won't remember that. I think so too. But the bingo, there's already in the NDR, you can't say otherwise, these NDR Nordstories and such, I really like to watch them too. And I've already done a few things for the NDR that I always look at myself. No, but I think they already have good things, but you could, so HR3, for example, I never watch.
Me neither, because we don't live in the broadcasting area at all. And I don't want to make fun of the third one either, not with the NDR either. I was already afraid that the program director of the NDR would meet us again behind the scenes at the next ESC and give us a headbutt or a dropkick in the face or something like that.
Like last time, very difficult, passive-aggressive mood when they got in there. Well, hello Mr. Schulz, hello Böhmermann. What's going on here? Why is this tension in the air? Is it because of the tense security situation because of the Israeli commentators? No, the NDR is in a booth with delegations, Olli and Jan. And now there's really a second case of security behind the scenes.
It's a pity actually, because I always go to people with a friendly and open arm and a smile on my face. Me too. But that doesn't always work. Jan, one thing I have to tell you now. Last Saturday we recorded the show relatively early. What do I traditionally do after every show? Shit. Shit. I go to the toilet. And what do I do when I shit? What do we all do? What do you do?
What do we all do when we shit? We scroll. Doomscrolling. Until we've seen everything. Until everything is finished. Then it goes down from the toilet. I want to make Instagrammers. Suddenly I get the message, we have blocked your account, Olli Schulz. Because of what? Other Instagram users can't see your account at the moment and you can't use it. What?
What did you do?
You have 180 days time to make a claim against our decision. Your account or its activities do not violate our community guidelines against sexually motivated contact between adults. So you didn't break it or you broke it against them? We didn't break it. But then, because of that we closed your account. Then I made a claim.
And then there were examples of parts of porn to offer sex in this way and then to ask. Or describing sex or sexual harassment to demand sexual activities. Or leading sexual entertainment to offer sex and then to ask. Then I made this claim.
Did you have sex on Instagram?
And then there was a statement and he said, we have received the statement and it will also be rejected, your account is closed. And then I didn't know what to do anymore. I didn't know what to do. What did you do?
What was going on? So wait a minute, you banned your Instagram account because of any sexual things. Is that what it's called? Allegedly, supposedly. Yes.
Before we come to the resolution, I then desperately called all kinds of people to see if anyone had contact with Instagram.
Among other things, me too, for example. You too, exactly.
At the moment you know someone from Instagram, because I thought you were also someone who might know someone. But you didn't help me either. No, because I have nothing to do with sex. Then I found someone, greetings to Heiko, who works at Instagram. I got an email from my management and he said, I'll take care of it.
Then he didn't contact me the whole Saturday, the whole Sunday and Monday morning it still didn't work. And then I thought, So either someone hacked me and the police will come and put their hands on me and something will happen, or it's a sign that social media is simply over.
Because I was thinking for a moment, you know what, if this thing doesn't work anymore, then I'll shit on the 530,000 followers that I've collected over the decades. And just stop with it. Really. I'm not going to fight for it now, I'm too weak for it. For that, social media is all too negative, too many crazy things.
Maybe it will bring me a little more peace in my soul, although I'm really doing the minimal at the moment on Instagram. But then, Monday afternoon, the message came and it was released. And the whole thing, now you can tell. What was it?
What was going on? I would really like to know that.
I just wrote here, account lock. We were able to reactivate the profile in the night to today. What happened? The profile description of the profile had a funny remark, which was not taken as a joke by our content review team, or was understood. I had written there, Everyone says he's a video creator and a musician and this and that and a writer and an artist. But for me, my nudes are in profile.
Because every time I post something, there are things like, what is long and wet? Why aren't they locked up? That's always the case with me. Yeah. Yeah. Take it badly. But somehow it didn't go through the control on Instagram. And my account was locked for 96 hours.
Can you now make a request to Instagram? The money that went through my lap. Because you are the cooperation that has not been found because of you. These belly stories or your Dr. Amy creams that you put on the camera.
Yes. But one thing I can tell you, I was cool all the time, because as far as that is concerned, I have a pure conscience. I think we talked about it in one of our first broadcasts 13 years ago, Faustregel, if you don't want the pictures of Pimmel to be on the internet. Send no pimple pictures. Send no pimple pictures.
If you don't want women to sue you for sexually harassing them, just don't sexually harass women. Just don't do that. That's the big life hack. Actually, just behave reasonably, respectfully. Send no pimple things, no dick things. And since I've never done that, I thought, okay, what's next? How do you want me to behave now?
How do you want to fuck me, Instagram? How do you want to fuck me, Instagram?
I really thought someone hacked me and uploaded porn stuff on it and I have to explain myself for that. That would have been the only thing. In retrospect, everything went well.
Let's write, how do you want to fuck me, Instagram? But the fuck is censored. With GG, fuck. No, how do you want to fuck me, but the I is just a star. How do you want to fuck me, Instagram? I have to go back to the subject matter. Heiko is also a subject matter worker on Instagram. What are you, a subject matter worker on Instagram?
And you think it's a Silicon Valley group where everyone is called Michael or Donovan or Sergio. But it's just Heiko on the bike who doesn't work on the weekend either. We'll take a break here on the weekend, then we'll come back to the office on Monday. I'll take care of it then.
And until then you have to somehow get yourself a lawyer and the sexual offense because of you somehow. I can't explain it to you, Olli, but it has already reached the press, although we don't even know what's going on there.
Yes, but now the first disappointed articles on day 24. Olli Schulz announces my nudes in profile. There were no nudes in profile. What's going on there?
Just like that again, but I mean, the truth has actually died on the internet. Yesterday, to jump on the subject briefly, yesterday the singer of One Direction died, did you notice that?
Yesterday, we are recording a transparent podcast here, on Friday, three days ago.
Three days ago he fell from the balcony in Argentina. And before everything was really cleared up, there was a video on the internet that was already played to me in my reels, allegedly by him and his wife one hour before this accident, which turned out to be a lie, which was from a completely different vacation. But everyone was like, hey, conspiracy, he didn't just die like that and so on.
And because it all has such a speed, it's just incredibly difficult to find out the truth about things or anything else. On day 24, from this story that I told, there will be something, a hit song that will make you feel like... I have the feeling that if we address them directly, they won't feel like it.
Then they feel too fine. Then they feel trapped. And then they don't do it. And in the weeks when we don't think about it, there will be a side note, an inflated story. Olli Schulz, pimple on the buttocks.
Unbelievable. Unbelievable, exactly. Böhmermann is shocked.
Exactly. Ey, es ist noch was schönes passiert, mit fest und flauschig Bezug. Das will ich nur mal kurz, ich grüße ganz lieb den Thilo. Thilo hat, das kannst du dich vielleicht noch daran erinnern, die Gedichte von Kurt Bloch gehoben, gemeinsam mit den Angehörigen von Kurt Bloch, oder der jüdische
Yes, a writer or satirist who fled from the Nazis on a roof in the vicinity of Eindhoven and there, in a wonderful way, one must say, the German crew and the Second World War and the Nazi era survived.
And the old text is then later emigrated and the old texts of him are irgendwann wieder aufgetaucht im Nachlass, in seinem Nachlass und daraus hat der Thilo von Debschitz zusammen mit seinen Kollegen... A really great website was built, kurt-bloch.com. And Kurt writes with C, kurt-bloch.com. There are the poems in German and in Dutch.
And what happened this week, last Wednesday night, the head on the wall of the cabaret, kurt-bloch.com, won the Grimme Online Award. Isn't that nice? So a great award. Congratulations and I'm a little proud that we already discovered it before the Grimme Online jury saw it. A really great page. Maybe they also discovered it through us. I don't want that. Maybe they also discovered it through us.
I don't want to hang out of the window that far, especially in the week where a person tragically fell out of the window. I don't want to lean out of the window.
You don't want to hang out of the window. But greetings. I want some music on the Fidi and Bumsi. Finally. I've been wanting to put it on for weeks. So first of all, I was with my daughter yesterday at L.A. Cool J. L.A. Cool J? No, but I'll talk about that in a moment. At Lizzy McAlpine's concert, which she played yesterday in the Uber Eats Arena. Not in the Uber Arena, but in the Uber Eats Arena.
Is that another arena or what? That's the small hall, there are about three or five of them. And it was one of the quietest and most relaxed concerts I've seen in a long time. I like her very much anyway. She's the opposite, I think. She's a completely introverted, shy person on stage who doesn't know exactly what she wants to say. And I think the audience also felt very addressed.
When I went to the men's toilet, I thought I was the first man on the toilet today. There was a big female surplus there. And also a lot of, in my opinion, introverted people. And it's so nice, a concert where the cell phone is rarely picked up, in my opinion. The people all fall into it. And that she's an artist, which we sometimes forget.
We're both two guys who open their mouths, go on stage and do it completely free of... with an understanding of how to do it.
Completely free of intelligence and self-reflection. Yes, exactly.
And from time to time with overconfidence or something else. And then there are completely different people who go on stage, who let their music speak, who don't dare to say much or who don't know what they want to say. And such people are also totally important for the people who are also like that, who are introverted, who have turned into themselves.
And it was a totally beautiful, unrestrained evening. It was totally fun for me. But I already put Lizzie McAlpine with two songs on the list, so I don't do that. But now I come to the record that has been holding me in my breath for weeks. The Force by LL Cool J, the hip-hop legend. A completely different topic, but I've always been a fan of LL Cool J. I saw him live in 1990 or 89.
He was still very young. He was one of the first artists on the legendary label Def Jam, which was founded by Rick Rubin. He was on his first record in 1985 or 86. Rick Rubin had just founded the label for the Beastie Boys, which he produced at the time. And then LL Cool J, 16 years old, his demo, I just found a great interview with Rick Rubin, which just came out, where he talks about it.
LL Cool J sent his first demo to Rick Rubin and Rick Rubin heard it and said, hey, I have a little studio here, come on, we'll record your record, come by. LL Cool J, 16 years old, rings in the studio, Rick Rubin opens and the first thing LL Cool J says, fuck, I thought you were black. And he was like, no, I don't want to. And I was so sure, you're a black guy and we're doing hip-hop here.
And then he met this full-fledged, really weird guy, Rick Rubin, and made his first records with him, which are all legendary, especially the second one with I Need Love. And LL Cool J also had phenomenal records in the 90s.
Something like a phenomenon and had real hits and somehow always had a great career, was always incredibly sympathetic to me and his new record that somehow mixes modern sounds with old school hip hop and I just put the song Black Coat Suit featuring Zona Jobati on it. The last two minutes of this song where he changes so musically and she sings like that He is so fat, I love that.
He could have gone four minutes longer. I love the whole record. I also love the song with Eminem that he did. Nas is on the record. Rick Ross is on the record. Busta Rhymes, all the old heroes. I'm talking way too little about 90s hip-hop here, about the golden age. When I was a real fan of Wu-Tang, when I saw Busta Rhymes in the powerhouse in Hamburg and a lot of great hip-hop bands.
It is so that hip-hop doesn't reach me as much as it did back then. But LL Cool J with his new record, that's a really, really, really good record. And listen to that song, listen to the rest of the record, I have to put it on the list. In addition, an artist was sent to me, I heard it last night, Lola Young. I thought it was totally good, with the song Messi.
I'm sure you'll get this one from her too. She already has 1.9 million fans, I think, on Spotify. I would like to put it on the list. And then the artist McGee. How many miles? McGee gives very few interviews, also a very introverted guy. Also made a really great record. How many miles by McGee. McGee written M-K and then G-E-E.
And these are my tips for today's show, or rather my little selection. I can't put everything on what you send me, but you should listen to these three songs. And Jan definitely has something.
Yes, exactly. I was inspired by the diary or the diaries of Manfred Krug, as you heard, especially in his first albums that he recorded. I think they were still GDR albums. They are live albums of the young Manfred Krug from the early 70s.
And I have two songs just to get into his musical work, which was not only an actor and diary writer and somehow German post-war public person, but also above all a insanely good singer. Or at least, no, I say, not classic...
I don't even know if he was insanely good.
No, a special singer. When you hear Manfred Krug sing, it swings and sounds a lot more with than it is only in the text. And that is simply to thank him for his personality and his interpretation. And from his very first album, which is arguably number one, the album was only a moment, but number one is the album from the year 1971. There he is still
Not even half-glutzy as you know him later, but he has a little ha-dut up there. I would like to listen to the two songs, Als ich rief nach dir and the faster up-tempo happy song Gestern war der Ball by Manfred Krug. Yesterday was the ball and Als ich rief nach dir from Manfred Krug's very first album. And we'll be right back with Fest und Flauschig this Sunday.
I heard the new Coldplay album and I want to say one thing. Coldplay is now music for people who are not that interested in music. Wasn't that always the case? No, the first two albums are sensational and live they also have an incredible power with the armbands and so, but it's unbearable to listen to this shit again.
And then another one can say to me, hey, that's a pop band in the meantime, but when I hear that, I get cold shits. I could talk about it for 20 minutes now, I don't want to. But Chris Martin, the song when he came together with Gwyneth Paltrow, that's what he needed artistically. To be honest, because then there was only Vogue, then there was organic soup cooking for Instagram.
No one becomes like that because of a relationship. Not Vogue, I mean the newspaper Vogue.
Oh, Vogue. Vogue. Then here's another picture. Not with Vogue, not with... Yeah, Vogue. Ah, the Vogue. Vogue, exactly. Vogue. The Vogue. Then here, then here, the sweetest couple and so on. They haven't been together for a long time. The problem is, Coldplay tried everything. They even made another band record five years ago. But even that sucks.
Somehow the magic came to their hands, which they had on their first sensational, still audible, good record. But who am I to decide that? Yes, but you have canceled it now. Officially it is now considered... Here, day 24. Olli Schulz cancels Coldplay. Too bad. Such a controversial band, but... Offset ban. Berlin ban. Olli Schulz and Flair give Coldplay a Berlin ban. Okay.
By the way, Frede, that was your intro today.
Thank you very much for the... Excuse me, I ate an egg roll here. Do you know a bakery where you know from a certain time there are the great rolls, but not before and also not afterwards, because they are then eaten away. Because the craftsmen know exactly. They know exactly.
There are always from 10 to 11 and mostly no more after 11 and never before 10 there are such great egg rolls at a certain bakery. There is also a bit of warmth. A little bit and there's a lot of remoulade on it and they're always delicious. And the consistency of the stew is perfect. When I talk about it now, I'm annoyed that I only got one.
But I thought, if I get two, it'll be bad for me and if I eat one, it's exactly right and I want more. And I ate it before and I was really annoyed about it, because I was up very early today, I got up very early. I was already at work at eight this morning, had a live broadcast and already drove past the bakery on the way. They weren't there yet.
On the way back, there were two more, and I know there are always six of them. And then I thought, oh, I was lucky that I got some more. I hate it, eating windows. Or, sorry, eating windows. And for example, with our neighbors, hello Delicato. We have our studios next to an Italian supermarket, where you also have a great bistro, there is always delicious food.
And I prefer to eat a caprese baguette, where every now and then I treat myself, what else do I do, ham on top of it. But that's only available until 12. And now I was hungry for the Caprese baguette at 12.30 last night. That's not strict, right? Doesn't exist anymore. Did I ask, can you get a Macro-Sauce or a McDonald's breakfast at your place? Also not anymore. Even the wrong store.
But it started at McDonald's earlier. That I sometimes wanted to eat a breakfast at 11.00 on Saturday. And then they said, no, 10.30 is over. McDonald's Bremen Nord. Sometimes, later in the Zivi time, one of my Zivi colleagues, he had already worked as a restaurant manager at 18.00. Yes, there are guys like that. He could give me an Egg McMuffin at 12 o'clock. I used to like Egg McMuffin too.
Yes, and there was a time, I stopped with it then, there was a time when this sausage, egg and cheese, so this classic American, in an English muffin, which you also get in every deli, which is really for me the acronym for New York American disgusting breakfast, there used to be a time at McDonald's with these sausage patties, which I think are forbidden in Germany, because there are some dioxins.
They are also really colored in a strange way.
They are almost orange. But it's actually just sliced, fried medwurst. And they eat it in the morning. And I always thought it was so cool to have shortcuts or when you go to restaurants more often and actually it doesn't exist yet or not anymore. And yet with such a twinkle of the controls, you have it so free again. I have another one.
My diet has changed completely. An English breakfast in the morning with eggs, beans and these fat sausages, the day is over for me. Then I get diarrhea and have to go straight to the toilet. The gut doesn't take it anymore. I need a muesli in the morning. I've become a muesli eater. Do you also snuggle a few meters of tires with chia seeds, with everything around it?
If it wasn't so Kai Pflaume-like, then I would like to photograph people's breakfast plates in the morning and then write delicious things about it.
But how do you bring that into balance with your love of nachos? Because that's always something you like to drive up in the evening, the nacho world, right?
Ja, immer noch gerne. Darüber reden wir dann nochmal. Weil das, was du gerade besprochen hast, das bringt uns nämlich gleich nach der Pause zu einer Lieblingsrubrik. Und zwar die großen fünf machen wir heute mal wieder. Deswegen alle zu Hause nochmal schön jetzt Füße putzen, sich aufs Bett packen. Hier kommt eure Lieblingsrubrik. Und wir machen ganz kurz Pause erstmal. Bis gleich.
Wir sind gleich wieder dabei, fest und flauschig.
Musik
I'm sick. I just got out of the hospital. Trauma, or whatever you call it. My whole neck hurts, man. And I'm in shock. I'm in shock.
While you probably already hurt your ears from all this babbling here, it's tight and fluffy. Your favorite podcast on Sunday or on Monday or Tuesday.
What if that's not your favorite podcast from the people, but they just listened again to hear what the wankers are telling and are super annoyed by us all the time?
That's a bit of self-pity, if you really think you're listening to podcasts from assholes. You can only do that for a short period of time, you don't last long. Do you have podcasts from people who listen to you in the park?
No, not at all. I like to listen to podcasts where I really enjoy it one-on-one. Sometimes when I read in the newspaper that someone has told an interesting story in a podcast, then I listen to it myself again. But now my colleagues, for example, they are all much younger than me. So all these 20-year-olds, these virile authors and so on.
They spitball and send each other some snippets back and forth, where I think to myself, hey, I did that 20 years ago, I don't want to waste my free time on it.
Yeah, you did that once, but now, especially in the abundance of information, or I wouldn't even follow who I should hate right now and who is right now.
I always know quite well who I should hate or where I don't feel like it. I find the story more relaxing. But I also notice, for example, it's been about a year now, I realize it to myself, my willingness to light myself up with an Instagram story in my free time has gone relatively against zero.
So in the past, when there was a show, I took a little promo video on the day and fell into the camera on Instagram. Like, hello guys, turn it on. I don't feel like it anymore. I'm so tired, man, I don't feel like it. I don't want to either.
You don't necessarily belong in there. As long as it goes halfway, you don't have to go in there either, I think.
Yes, it's always a time of desperation when you... Look, you can describe our relationship quite well.
15 years ago, when we met, or even longer ago, we sent each other YouTube videos or something. In the meantime, we send each other photos of vegan sausage.
Or stories that you experience with the family or where you have to go or something good for children.
That you don't want to share here either. But in the meantime, it's really... Yes, our relationship has changed significantly. If you look at the progress. From time to time there are still a few outbreaks or something. Yes, that's right.
When you sent me the photo of a person we both know, I was already very grateful that you sent it to me, because it happened to you as the first person. If I had seen it first, I would have probably sent it to you too.
By the way, I don't want to get too close to the identification of the person, but in retrospect, I've had a lot of conversations about it and then came to the conclusion that maybe it shouldn't be public anymore.
Because it's just sometimes, that's also new, really, that's also new, that you slowly become aware of this responsibility, which you obviously have and also don't feel like it, because you can avoid it with everything you see, to start a shitstorm directly or somehow a press release or something, because you just don't feel like it anymore.
Exactly, because you also know, when you discuss things here, that's partly also a pity, for example, with such influencers that you discover or similar, where we once talked about the Sausolidus guys, who you immediately caught up with.
Yes, you did it with Romo, man.
But at the same time it's like, Böhmermann, come to my age. That's our friendly way of saying that something amuses us here. And it's usually not as mean as some people think it is. I think it's also because of your reputation, especially you with your bitsy TV style.
Sometimes it's a pity, sometimes I would say something about a reel or someone I've discovered, but he would immediately take the excerpt and then Böhmermann and Schulz would front me.
Or people we mention at Local Heroes and ask if we can use that for our advertising. No, please don't, guys. Please, please don't.
But look, we all have a little Thomas Gottschalk. Before the break... And he's getting bigger and bigger, Thomas Gottschalk. The little Thomas Gottschalk in one. What I said before the break about Coldplay, when some say, man, check it out, the band just wants to make other music, you don't like that, but accept it instead of complaining. Are you Thomas Gottschalk or what? How Thomas Gottschalk?
Yes, back then, as Led Zeppelin, it was a very big number. You know, it's always tragic. Time goes on. At some point you become a tragic victim of time.
Wenn ich dann mit den jungen Kolleginnen und Kollegen in den Autorinnensitzungen, wenn wir dann da sprechen und lästern, lästern mache ich immer schon noch ganz gerne, muss ich sagen. Ich stelle mir öfter die Frage, worüber lästert man denn heutzutage so? Und dann wird es quasi auf den Tisch gelegt und ich kann das dann auch gut verstehen und die meisten Geschichten kenne ich dann auch.
Aber ich denke mir dann so, wenn ich das mache in der Sendung, Is it completely over proportional?
That's too much, that's too much, that's too much, that's too much, that's too much, that's too much, that's too much, that's too much, that's too much, that's too much, that's too much, that's too much, that's too much, that's too much, that's too much, that's too much, that's too much, that's too much, I'm asking myself, where is El Hotzo? You're interested in what he does.
He has a podcast, no joke. I worked with him as a colleague. Last time I heard that he had a shitstorm. Now he's gone. He doesn't have a podcast anymore. He's gone too. I don't know what he's doing. We haven't talked in a long time. But I ask him. I see things he posts.
I always think...
Do a podcast again, then you don't have to post me on the internet like that. Why did he stop his podcast? I don't know, I don't want to express myself. I've only heard rumors and I think that's what rumors are. I can imagine that he is at a point in his career where he also sends a lawyer to write. When he's talking publicly about it. No, he also had this shitstorm with this Trump joke.
I don't know, honestly, there were two worlds meeting there. So the rabbit-footed, publicly legal roundabout and the cheeky author. That this is going on in the back, who would have thought that? And now the podcast is gone, but I don't know why. I only heard rumors. I heard, well, I can't tell.
He writes a biography about Elon Musk.
Elon Musk in his own words. Yes, but that would be such a candidate, for example, where I would wish, he should do something. Or fresh Grimme online prize winner, also Tasim Durgun. Do you know Tasim? No. You don't know Tasim? Who is Tashim? Tashim is, I would say, a TikTok star. A video creator. A video creator, but really a very funny guy. Or Marilina.
Is Tashim the one who was in your cooking show? He was in the cooking show, exactly. Turkish family background.
I would say Oldenburg background.
Turkish Oldenburger background. He talks a lot about his mother, I think. I think I've seen a few videos of him. I think he's funny.
Yes, he's a very funny, very cool guy. He just won a Grimme Online Award. Marilina. Guys, do it. The Grimme Online Award. Yes, listen to me. Don't say that so indignantly. Who is the light of the north? No, it's awesome. Who is the light of the north of the two of us? Tell me, who is it? Die Leuchte des Nordens. Du bist doch der, der mit seinen Awards mal hausieren geht. Die Leuchte des Nordens.
Du bist die Leuchte des Nordens.
Hast du doch mal gesagt, dass du die Leuchte des Nordens bist. Ich bin nicht die Leuchte des Nordens. Hast du gesagt, ey, sag mal Olli. Ich hab mal einen internen Preis gekriegt. Weißt du, was du bist, Jan? Der beste Moderator des Festum Flauschig. Für viele Menschen in Ostdeutschland. Spiel mal ab, was du für viele Menschen in Ostdeutschland sagst.
Achso, nee, für viele Wissenschaftler. Die haben mich rausgefunden. Ach, ist das so?
By the way, what I think, scientists have found out that the anus of a blue whale measures about one meter in diameter and is thus the second largest asshole in the world, right behind Blödermann.
Too bad. Too bad, you're the second biggest asshole in the world. I'm the biggest asshole in the world. Well, but prices are a shame and smoke, the work stays the same. Olli, because I'm here, sorry, this is now unspoken, but because I'm just going to do it now, because you can't, I mean, you can say you don't want to, but I have to do it briefly.
Fast and fluffy, presented. Trust me, drive electrically.
Trust me, drive electrically. Trust me, drive electrically. Trust me, it's so awesome. Charging station, AC, DC, twin-watt. It's so awesome. Strong current, charging, charging network. It's so awesome.
Electrical look around. Electrical look around. The electric show. The electric show with Jan and Olli. It's so awesome.
Yes, because I'm really amazed by the electric e-mails. Now I can roughly understand how it goes for you in terms of metal, how it has gone for years and will go again one day when the section is back here on Sunday. I am an electric freak and I would like to break a lance for the electric car, also because I find it stupid how prejudices have established themselves.
And for example, Bernd wrote to me. He writes, hello Jan, I am completely of your opinion. If you buy a car, buy an electric car. I once borrowed one, with which I drove from Niedecken in the Eifel to Berlin. I had to charge once, ate a burger in Braunschweig, the car was full and I could continue to Berlin. There really isn't a range problem. But now to a little absurdity at the store.
A friend of mine works at a steel wholesale store in Duisburg. And actually they would like to offer the excess electricity from the solar systems on the roof of their employees for free. But that doesn't work, because that would be a financially valuable advantage. To be able to calculate correctly, i.e. offer in the sense of so that people can charge their cars.
And to be able to calculate that correctly, the electricity has to be measured and added value taxes are calculated. If you would donate the electricity, you would also have to pay the added value taxes.
But if you want to sell the electricity with added value tax to the employees cheaply or expensively, in order not to pay the added value tax, you become an energy provider and other rules apply to employment. Nothing is donated. If that really should be the case, Bernd Einschränkend writes, there seems to be a lot of overregulation. That could be simplified a lot. Greetings, Bernd.
And I have to say that at this point as a big criticism. Electromobility. That will make a lot more fun for all people. And I think it would be much easier to buy electric cars if all these fucking rules weren't there. Or the rules would be adjusted. Or such a morgue as, for example, we would like to donate our excess electricity from the solar cells to the employees.
But that has to be controlled. Dude, oh man. Do you want to get it going or not? It just annoys me. A lot of people write and a lot of people write about their great experiences with electric cars.
But then you do something for it instead of just being annoyed.
I'm not annoyed. I wanted to ask you at the end, Olli, what is your state of mind? What does the purchase of your electric car do? Are there any new steps? Can you keep us up to date? I'll buy myself an e-bike first. I'll buy myself an e-bike first. You'll never buy yourself an e-bike, man. Of course I'll buy myself an e-bike.
And then I'll take a picture of me with the e-bike. Then I'll be back on Instagram. Olli on a bike, man. Like Affe on a bike, the motorbike lady, you know, the biker. Then there's Olli on a bike.
Dude, you on a bike, dude, really, I can't imagine.
Yes, on an e-bike. Biking is my great passion, to be honest. Then listen to nice music, flick through the streets, everyone sees me for a short time. Hey, was that Olli Schulz on a bike? But I was too fast, you didn't recognize me exactly. And I think that's awesome. The thing is that they lock down the bikes at 25 kilometers.
And then I know guys, that's like back then, that's a bit of an old school, like with a moped, where you drilled up, where you milled the engine yourself and made the moped faster. And you can supposedly do that with the e-bikes too. That's the red light on the street.
And now it's the most crazy thing you just said. I have this week in my googling around the famous showmaster Thomas G., who is on a promo tour, I came across a crazy movie on YouTube. And that was at the beginning of the 80s. The sender, look, the circle closes. The sender Bayern Alpha uploaded it. So the Alpha sender. And that's... It was a course by the famous Thomas G. Here it is. There.
Bayern Alpha. Uploaded to Retro Channel. It only has 175 calls. And it's about the famous, a little over the top entertainer Thomas G., who gave tips at the beginning of the 80s to young people, minors, how to really do Mofas. It wasn't clear to me that MOFAs at the beginning of the 80s were something like smartphones. That was the very big thing.
And at the end of this video, and I would briefly present it to you as an audio clip, you have to imagine a video about it. It looks a bit like an 80s lesson video with the young Thomas G. The famous TV presenter with an orange helmet. And I have it here now, I close it, I have to briefly connect it and I have to record it so that it really comes with it.
Listen, this is from a MOFA training, which is a total of 20 minutes long and was apparently produced by the WDR television show Der siebte Sinn. But it was a special edition, it was only about the topic of MOFA. You now hear the young Thomas G. in a video with the headline with 40 things around the corner. Thomas Gottschalk gives tips, tips on driving safety on the MOFA.
It's about a young woman, where you only realize in the course of the conversation how young this woman really is and is involved in a conversation by Thomas Gottschalk. Listen up!
Can you take me with you?
I'm not allowed on the motorway, you don't know that, do you? Yes, I do. Do you know that?
Do you have a driver's license?
Yes. Hey, are you 15 years old? Yes. And you don't have a motorway?
No. Ah, you had a fight. Well, bye!
And good foot.
That's it. Small cut. That was a small cut. That was AI.
That was not AI.
That was a small cut. That was AI. The following happened. A young girl with short hair, looking much older, meets the young Thomas Gottschalk. It was probably planned as a kind of flirt sequence. At the end of this... Traffic safety videos. Thomas Gottschalk on a moped with an orange helmet. And this girl wants to sit on it or ride with him, but has no driving license.
And he asks, hey, are you already 14? And to go into the meta-criticism, what is insinuated here is that if you already have a driving license... Um, so you're already over 15. Then maybe you can ride a moped and then you're also sexually attractive. But now the much older man just drives away because you didn't take care of your papers at the moped.
So, dear girls between 13 and 15, if you want to drag the guy clearly at the beginning of 20, then make sure that you please have your driver's license for the moped. That's what the subtext of this clip is. And that shocked me completely, that you just really... Well, that's not legal, if a 14-year-old or 15-year-old is clearly over 20 years old, that was not allowed in 1980 either.
No, I have no idea.
Yes, you have to write a book about it, how tragic that is that the times have changed. Well, I just wanted to briefly bring that in here for the protocol. Look at the video, 175 clicks, really few people know the video.
Apropos few clicks, now many clicks, before I forget, I have about you, Jackie, the biggest rock and roller in Germany, the documentation, so many people looked at it, wrote to me that they were so happy about Jackie, the original, which died in 2005, I think, from the Sanderstraße, in the house in which I once lived, upstairs in the apartment at Peter Domsch, where we also shot with Joko and Klaas.
The Buddy Day number, where they spent the night with me. Well, Jackie got a lot of hearts. He was a difficult guy, I think, too. But he was a special guy, one that is no longer made like that. And if you want some bonus material, then google Jackie's pilgrimage. There's a friend with Jackie, two years after the documentary you've all seen.
made another trip, everything is now filmed in Lobatzstadt, to the Grapp von Elvis and Jackie wanted to sing a song at the Grapp von Elvis, but was not allowed, the security forces were not allowed, it was unfeeling, but then he recorded something in the Sun Studios, Sun Records Studios and you can see him driving through Memphis, playing with his guitar, it's very sweet and it's a little bonus material if Jackie has also inspired you so much.
Exactly. So Jan, and now we're coming back today. After the summer break, the very first time. The first time, indeed. It's about this here.
The big five. Defined by Böhmermann and Schultz. Yes, we are not only the podcast that can cancel here, we have received the cancel authority from the federal president. For safety's sake, Olli Schulz, because I cancel way too fast. But if you cancel, then it's really canceled. Coldplay canceled.
But we also received the official evaluation authority from the spiritual head of the Catholic Church, namely the pope himself. If we rank something here now, then that's the way it is. And today comes a suggestion that came to you, Olli.
I sent it to you, but I passed it on to you. You had to do it briefly because I didn't have it here on site.
Yes, it's a suggestion from Simon to Olli Schulz. And Simon writes, Moin Olli. I had a spontaneous entry when I scratched the floor of the baby bra again the day before, in brackets, stone hard. And that's the big five things that get worse and worse when you leave them. And that's exactly the right category for us, Olli. Thank you very much, Simon, for this great suggestion.
Yes, then you want to start with place number five?
I think the big things that get left behind, there are a lot of them. That get worse and worse when you leave them. The ones that get worse and worse. Even if you stay lying. We can say that like that. Even if you stay lying. And I'll start with my place 5. It's a thing that you probably also know. I think it's a question of religion. I'm of the opinion
that you open gummy bears directly and then eat them. If they are hard, I don't like them. But there are people that I personally know who even put the gummy bears in the fridge so that they are extra hard. But I think gummy bears that you leave and I know that's a question of faith. There are people who only eat them like that. But that's for gummies.
It's also bad with gummy bears, it's always like that with food, if you put it out of the air, then hard foods will draw the moisture and then become soft and soft foods will lose the moisture and become hard. That means you notice with many things, for example, I was in the supermarket for the first time.
And I bought it for the office and thought, come on, I'll take a pack of almond speculations with me in private to get a little bit into the Christmas season. And almond speculations are absolutely deadly, because if you don't put them back in the packaging or with these clips or something, you can already forget them the next day, because they're a little too soft and you think, oh no.
And with gummy bears it's the same for me, because it's actually not unhygienic when they're standing, for example. Gummy animals in general, if you put them back in the closet with an open bag, I don't have such a strange feeling as, for example, with cookies. Because they taste really fast, or chips or something like that, they taste super fast shit.
But gummy bears only taste a little shit, but that's just the problem, I think. That they only get a little hard and a little moisture comes out and that's why you don't have any fun with it.
You think, oh, too bad, now they're already so hard. That's my place five.
Your place five? My place 5 of the big 5 things that get worse and worse when you leave them are bills and tax stuff.
I already had that on place 3 with me, but I thought you never had it as bad as I did. No, I was never someone who didn't open bills or pushed them.
But I'm already paying bills and for example when a bill comes about a craftsman's performance or something like that. Where I made coffee and had a nice chat and the bill is on the kitchen counter and then it stays there and then a newspaper comes on top of it and then an old fund comes on top of it and then the bill is all the way down and then it stays there.
And I also know that it's in there in that pile and then I think, ah, I'll do it tomorrow. And then the next day the pile is a little bigger. Ah, come on. And at some point there comes a friendly, yes, hello Mr. Böhmermann, we wanted to ask again briefly, ah yes, fuck, sorry, I have often just transferred 20 euros more, because I was so ashamed of it that I just forgot.
And then they didn't see that at all, because you transferred a different sum and had to...
Also not bad.
Also not bad.
And with tax issues and with things that you have to do. So I would now, the whole financial, for example, also tax explanation. I know exactly, it will be a weekend where I crawl around on the floor and put things in order and things that I stack in huge piles for years have to be stacked in smaller piles.
And I was, I push myself so forward that at some point the tax advisor company calls and says, yes, Mr. Böhmermann, so slowly. But I'll tell you one thing about that topic, I also have to tell you something.
In the 90s, in my time as a Dabender artist, who didn't have his life under control, my mailbox was partly a conglomerate of video warnings for unannounced films, for blacklisting, HVV bills and also rent or health insurance. And that was getting more and more, it was getting more and more collected. There were more and more warnings. There was Dr. 1000 back then.
Dr. Dausend?
Dr. Dausend, the lawyer Dr. Dausend. In cash? In cash. And then you're at home, then this number comes and those were really unpleasant times, partly.
And it gets worse and worse, the longer you leave it. Of course, it wasn't that existential for me, but it pushes. It pushed for me, dude. We just come from different directions and have now both reached the same point in life. That was my place 5. What's your number 4?
My number 4 are the bread rolls in the tank. There's only a certain time span where you can... I didn't want to talk about bread rolls directly, but there's the bread roll that has been my companion for years. For breakfast in the morning, I would say two and a half bread rolls. I think that's good at the gas station, when they offer that you can add salt and chili corns. Certain tanks do that.
Chili corns on top, then nicely driven somewhere, and the two on the center console of your car, and then a cold coke in the morning.
I'd like to have a cold cola and a med-brötchen at 8 in the morning.
It was the breakfast of the champions back then for me. Don't do it, guys.
Don't do it. Don't do it anymore.
And then there's this time when you're in such a... Tanks are unfortunately not like that in Germany. So sometimes there's this glass showcase at a gas station. You're somewhere on the land, land gas station. And then there's only one half-matte bread. You can decide half-matte bread or a roll-on beefy or something. But otherwise there's nothing more. There's nothing.
And then you eat that and it just tastes like shit. There's already such a hard crust on top. And then you eat a bite and think, I could have saved that. And then you still eat it in the car. And then you shit really bad later on.
The Fast and the Furious episode has already been defecated four times in relatively deep detail. But that's just part of life. It's not always just the dedication of the doctor's dignity. It's also shit.
It's not just the online grim price.
Exactly. These are the poles between which we oscillate back and forth here at Fest und Flauschig. I apologize to all the people who came in for the hate listening, that their expectations have not been disappointed, I'll say it like that. In my place, four of the big five things that get worse and worse when you leave them lying down are of course toothache.
Because I had a time in my life where I, so I have very good teeth now, I'm really lucky that I haven't had anything for years. And also the age of life in which the bad dental operations with root treatments threaten us is not yet reached. But when I was in my mid-20s, when the seal of my teeth, where the dentist said, oh, there's a seal on it, let's see what's underneath.
And then I actually had some real chunks there. And I remember that, and I wonder if it was because of the time, that I had much worse teeth than all the people I know in the world.
I have all much better teeth and I already had as a child with the milk teeth, especially the late baking milk teeth when the new ones were already there and there were still some baking milk teeth in there, which then pressed from below, but not so quickly that the old ones fell out.
Then I had some unpleasant, curious stories and then I never went to the doctor because I always said there is a milk tooth and so and also later then such a hole. I feel there is something and when I somehow get cold air on it, then I notice that it is something.
I just have one spot that is overgrown and there is sometimes air coming down there and once a day it goes in so deep.
Or when you are in such unusual things where you think, why does it hurt me now when I eat bread? Huh, weird. And then you already know, actually we have to let you know next time, because the dentist has not seen it at three control examinations. But you know, there is such a pain underneath. You know that.
Hey Jan, you're talking out of my mind. I was at the dentist. It's down there. Don't lie, Olli. It's getting worse. But the dentist said, I don't see anything. I said, yes, it hurts.
Exactly. And the thing is, you actually have to wrinkle and you feel what it is yourself and you don't say it because you don't feel like the operation. I'll tell you one from experience. Right. Right, right. Putting the syringe and the pricking in the tooth, it's all half as bad. You just don't feel like it.
You especially don't feel like these two hours when you have a little bit of a puffy back and a little bit of pressure. But it's never as bad as these weeks, sometimes months of pulling pain. to avoid this one intervention. It will only get worse. I have to call urgently next week.
Do it. Do it. I don't think so. I'm with Juri outside, everything is so beautiful. We're in the forest, suddenly it pulls so deep into the jaw and I can't exactly define whether it's that tooth or that tooth. And oh, it annoys me. Sometimes I'm really wild to think, tear it all out and put a Stefan Raab bite in it.
I don't think it's the same guy. I think Stefan Rapp, it all looks artificial, but he definitely still has some pins in his jaw. Maybe he can change the fronts every now and then, like the bracelet from the Apple Watch.
So that he can put on a different armor every now and then. Yes, as a joke, as a funny joke.
But I don't think it's all artificial. Or Klopp. Klopp also has such a bite.
Yes, but he got such a crazy, through this huge bite, such a jaw.
I have dental technicians in the family. That's quite funny. So I have people who are mainly dental technicians. And that's always the case when you work in the media, for example, then you always look at the media through your own professional glasses. I also know people who work in the journalistic field. They can't watch journalistic products on TV because they always have such a...
And I also know people who are musicians who review every album and say what's shit and what's awesome. And the dentist in my family knows all the pros, so they know each other in terms of content, they don't know what they're doing, they could already be on the right side or something like that. But he always knows, he always knows exactly, bad tooth, bad teeth, this material.
He has such reviews in the dental technology area. I think that's really cool. That's where they messed up something. That's really expensive, but it looks really shitty.
Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I also think that sometimes I think, just once, full of anesthesia, wake up, a new bite and never again problems. There are definitely such possibilities. Yeah. But... No, I don't. We're still here to define the big five today. It's about the big five things that won't get better if you let them lie down or you just lie down yourself.
There was already talk about the family, I'm sure I'll pick up my third place, Jan. It's about, you're at a family party, you're at grandma's, aunt's, the married ones, at any of them and it's a family party and there's still so much cake left.
And then you let yourself be swaggered, you let yourself be swaggered, this plate with aluminum foil, with aluminum foil, where then so seven, eight pieces and you say, no, first of all you don't want to take anything with you. Then you let yourself be swaggered, to take two pieces with you.
But just the aluminum foil, to pack it in, is always like that.
And then you say, okay, two pieces, but not more. And then when you go out in the hallway, you get this tablet with eight pieces on it that you never wanted to have. And then you say, yes, otherwise it will be bad for us. And then you have clear sight before you. And in the worst case, you put it on the back seat of the car, get out of the house and leave the car. Forget it.
Then there are still the phases where I haven't bought anything and I think, oh, now something sweet. Oh, I still have the cakes in the car. And then you eat half of it and think, oh, no, that's way too much. Strawberry slices, what's that, the Danube wave and so on. And then he stands at your living room on the table or on the window sill. And then he stays there.
He lands everywhere with me, but not where he belongs, namely in the kitchen. And then you keep eating. And every time the pleasure gets worse. And at some point it's just like that, the relatives are never allowed to know, the rest just ends up in the trash. And that's not cool either. But the origin of this story is that so much is pushed on you, that you don't want to have so much.
That you just don't say no at the decisive moment.
Oh, take it with you, otherwise everything will be bad here, then it will be bad with me, you have to say. And just because you say aluminum foil, you also have to say it very briefly. Aluminum foil, dear people, is really nothing with which you should use any food that should not be kept warm. You can maybe use it when you put an omelette in there. Or a gyros plate. Or a gyros plate or something.
But please don't use aluminum foil to fry a cake. Please don't do it. No way. No way. But for me on third place ... The big five things that get worse and worse, the longer you let them lie. Uncomfortable interpersonal topics. And I would like to do both things that you still have to do in the interpersonal area, as well as things that still have to be done in the interpersonal area with you.
So, for example, the long, excessive message that you have separated yourself now.
For example. Or... Hey Jan, perfect, my place is right next to it. The topic of separation, for example, I always do it like this.
At the beginning I always have a meeting and then two weeks later a separation. The first one is very positive, because everyone is looking forward to the future. And the last one is always a story. There is at least one person who is sad. But that can also happen to me. And that is, that is such a situation. That doesn't just have to do with separation.
It can also be, for example, the, um, the... The collaboration. The collaboration is over here. Yes, or also the private... The older you get, the more wonderful people you become. And the more wonderful they sometimes act.
And with increasing age, I can say, the number of wonderful experiences in my further private environment, where people, who used to be considered normal and cool, suddenly do weird things, where you really have to tell them, hey, I'm really not an intolerant guy and so on. I do everyone as he wants and so on. But that just doesn't work. You can't do that. It doesn't work.
And that's unfortunately always so unpleasant to me and I'm not a confrontational type. Are you afraid of conflict? No, not afraid of conflict. So I can get through it if I somehow have to. But I always try to delay it as long as possible, because I always think that people will maybe check it for themselves that it's shit.
Maybe they check it out themselves, but a lot of people are very resistant. And then I've had the experience that the longer you push this confrontation in front of you, the worse it actually gets. And I'm not choleric or unfriendly or anything like that. My method is always something like, to be honest, that wasn't really cool. And then I always explain why it wasn't cool.
And also as objectively as possible. There are laws against it and you can't just... I don't know if it's just because, for example, it didn't happen, but hypothetically, just because you need a flex now, just go into my basement and just take the flex out of my closet, because you somehow have the key to the basement, that's my flex and my basement. That's not possible, you don't do that.
To put it precisely, it's breaking in, thief, even if you're my neighbor or my neighbor. On this level, I mean. And then you think, huh? Was I too nice all these years? Why do people think that's possible? And then I think, oh, that's so unpleasant to me. But also separations and... Personal messages and everything, the longer you leave it, the longer you don't do it.
Can I hang on to my second place right away? Definitely. I wrote down my second place, because they are dispute mails. And that is mails when you have argued with someone and then you leave the mail again because you want to improve it the next day. And then it happened to me a few times that these mails, where you wanted to be clear, but you also wanted to point it out, bring it to the point.
Yeah. But you don't send these mails.
But you think it's getting worse and worse and you're annoyed that you didn't send the mails. Because I always think, for example, when I write such a mail, that I'm grateful that I slept over it all night, because I never send it off. The next morning I'm not angry anymore.
So it always helps me to write it down and I always think tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip
I would rather say that this is a piece of advice that I have decided myself at some point and always give myself. If you are angry and write e-mails, especially with e-mails, almost as bad as SMS, or even worse are e-mails, because it is an even more official process. SMS is also a very shitty idea to argue via SMS. Always ugly.
Especially when you sign up again or scroll up and see how you fought yesterday. It's full of shit. You scroll up and see, oh fuck, how embarrassing, how stupid. I know. Oh god. And then you have e-mails, that's when you want to communicate something really official. It's better to think about it for another night or just don't send it off at all.
And the next morning you look at it and think, oh come on, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter.
Most of the time, or always. But that's the case with everything. The longer you look at a fight or something and the days and the anger pass, then everything is irrelevant at some point. And then you don't send anything off anymore.
That's why there's only spam in the inbox. You also noticed that less e-mails come in. Less interesting e-mails. So listeners, in-mails, of course professionally. But I get totally few e-mails. I get almost no e-mails.
That's also because I maintain a so-called e-mail friendship with a few people. I don't like that either. I don't like to sit on the computer for a long time to write e-mails. That's all. Then I always think, I want to play guitar for you or do something else. Let's get to number one. No, no, no, no, I don't have my number two.
Excuse me, Jan. My second place is bad coffee. It's my only culinary thing. Bad coffee, that happens to me sometimes at motorway stations or when you want a quick coffee and you don't know. That's why I also like coffee house chains, for example. I think that this reliability with coffee is more important to me. As every ethical question and every social thought. And I know it's wrong.
Every time I think that it's wrong. But that's why I like to go in chains. Because I know everywhere in the world how coffee tastes. And I just have amazing difficulties when I have my expectations of something. When they are not fulfilled. So for example, when I'm hungry for cake and for a special cake, for example, plum cake. It's plum cake time right now or swedish cake.
And it goes in my, I really want swedish cake, but there is no swedish cake. And if there is one, then there is only swedish cake with this yeast dough that is so very hard and very unsweet. I prefer swedish cake with rye dough, with cream and maybe even with almond and cinnamon.
And when I think... I haven't eaten swedish cake in a long time.
I think it's easy to talk about it. For example, now I'm in the mood to hunt like Indiana Jones after a lost grave. I'm going to hunt in the countryside of Cologne today after a delicious cotton cake. But if I think now, for example, and that's the case with coffee, you're on the road and you want a coffee.
And then you drive to a gas station and get yourself out of some fucking vending machine, because somehow the coffee shop from Gustico is closed or somehow there are silverfish in the espresso machine, no idea. Then you have to go to the vending machine. And then you have a coffee that is too hot and you can already smell that it tastes like shit. And you take a sip.
And then he takes a big cappuccino, where you know it's never ever with fresh milk, but with milk powder. And then there's this ultra hot coffee in the cup holder in the car. And you drive 100 kilometers and it doesn't get colder for some reason.
The McDonald's coffee, you could drive from Berlin to Hamburg and it was still hot.
Because there are still so old Agent Orange stocks from the Vietnam War that have been mixed in.
I always found it fascinating.
It's unbelievable how long the McDonald's coffee was hot. And then you let it stand there and you know, at first it gets colder, but it doesn't get any better. Although it gets colder and more enjoyable, so physically. The physics of coffee is better tuned to the human body when it's not so hot that you lose your tongue. But the taste is definitely not getting better.
The bad of a bad coffee is not getting better due to the disappearance of heat. It's only getting worse.
Yes, but I generally don't like cold coffee.
He doesn't even have to be cold. He just has to be warm. I set my private environment in front of the wrong pedagogical programs. They have definitely become a kind of Vogue, where I think, I didn't want that now. And then I try somehow, because I know exactly, when I throw the coffee away completely, that I will definitely get a message from behind or even in the meantime from the front.
Hey, throw away the coffee in front of you.
Yeah, I know that one, too. That's why the kids in Guatemala are all flipped over.
Yeah, and the worst thing is that the coffee is really from children in Guatemala. I once saw a call for help on a coffee bean that was on top of it. And then you know exactly... I've also heard that the coffee gets worse and worse. But I don't want to throw it away now either. Then you have to do it with such a gallant, honest brother's hand movement. Look out there, a stork.
And you just throw it like that on the A57 on the autobahn, because you somehow don't feel like the stress. Where is the coffee? Which coffee? I drank it out.
Yeah, yeah. But I also won during the car ride because it was so shitty. No, I've never done that. I've never done that.
I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never done that.
I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never done that.
I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never done that. I've never done that. When you meet a Cologne guy like Micky Beisenherz, you're really taken in.
I'm already writing small notes for my first big unpacking novel. Böhmermann doesn't follow anymore. Vogue, that was once. It would be nice if people like Vogue... A class clown loses the connection. A class clown in a class fight. Böhmermann...
Ein Klassenclown im Klassenkampf. Böhmermann, was nun? Der Klassenclown im Klassenkampf. Ja, jahrelang der Fürsprecher gewesen.
Oder es wäre schön, wenn die früher war Vogue besser oder so. Das ist nicht mehr mein Vogue. Das ist nicht mehr mein Vogue. Vogue. Yes, it will happen.
We laugh. To the first place, come on. Of course it will happen. It's like with everything. The Vogue will also improve, refine. The Vogue eats its children. The Vogue eats its children. On the first place, the top five things that won't get better if you let them lie down, or that's why I'm on it. Stop, very briefly.
I have to say briefly. Die schärfsten Kritiker der Elche werden später selber welche. Ich habe den Robert-Gernhard-Spruch umgedreht. Der hat es nämlich gesagt, die schärfsten Kritiker der Elche waren früher selber welche. Aber pass mal auf, liebe Leute, wir sind hier der Podcast der Zwischenwelt. Wir sind ein Millennial und ein Gen X-Typ.
who simply try to connect the generations between which there is a huge gap with this podcast. But that's a saying for both of you. The sharpest critics of Elche used to be some themselves and the sharpest critics of Elche will be some themselves later. And in the meantime they make a podcast at Spotify. But now you're on top. Thank you Jan.
51?
Oh, happy birthday to you. Yes, thank you, Jan. Let me continue. It just doesn't get better if you don't start doing some stretching exercises, doing something for your body. You go bent, you go like the Glockner from Notre Dame. That looks shit. It takes an hour. I think I've already gone through the biggest suffering story with my back.
It sometimes takes up to 1-2 hours until you have no more pain in your back in the morning, if you don't do something. And it looks shit. And even if you're surrounded a lot by media jobs or similar things with young people and you always only talk about your back, you won't be an interesting person. That's also something you have to agree with yourself in silence. Either you go somewhere like...
You can see it in people. I can see it in people, whether they have bandages or something else, because I went through it myself. That's why I'm telling you, there are things that we men, as well as women, have to examine at a certain age or where we have to fight against.
That's back pain, that's bowel cancer, that's all those things that you have to do at some point, because they won't get better if you don't do anything for it. So not for bowel cancer, but against bowel cancer, of course. But back pain is my number one.
Look, for me it's something completely different, which is also inspired by Simon and which is really one of my absolute everyday problems. It's about the organic waste. And the organic waste is, for a while I have completely banned it from my different households and said I don't want organic waste, it just comes into the normal trash. I don't feel like these hustles, these shitty bags.
There is no reasonable way to preserve organic waste. Of course, there's a normal plastic bucket and then you go to the organic bin or to the organic house bin, where the whole house throws its organic waste in and then you dump it in there. But I find it disgusting to wash the bucket every time and it starts to stink. And that's why I decided to use a bag solution at some point. But...
There is actually no satisfactory bag solution. And I always have exactly in my head, when I know I'm cooking something, how the consistency of the current organic waste is. And then anticipate how quickly the bag is soaked through and how long I can leave the organic waste in the can until the bag is torn through and soaked through and starts to gurgle and suck somehow.
And that I really, the longer I don't get the bag out and then somehow bring it down into the organic can, the more unlikely it is that I can do it at all. And then I have to go down with the whole bucket. It's all already broken anyway.
You have to go down with the whole bucket anyway. I don't use plastic bags anymore. The organic waste comes directly into such a basket. And when it soaks through there, it's in the kitchen right away. That's why the organic waste is taken away from me once a day. Really? Do you have such disciplined... Yes. And it's on the bottom of the basket? Or how do I do that? No, we peel potatoes every day.
We peel carrots every day. All this stuff comes in. I have a small container. I do it on the compost, so to speak. Do you know what I mean? Yes.
Do you also have a compost? I don't have any compost, no. But do you have, is it a container with a lid? Because it always starts to stink, for example. Fruit flies above all.
Every evening before I start to make dinner and to eat, I go once with the tennis racket ordered from Thailand, the electric shocker, over the compost and I'm happy to kill 20 little fruit flies. Perverse. And that's a little dark side. The human has flown to the moon.
The human is somehow able to connect the brain with microchips. But a reasonable bag solution for organic waste ... There is no such thing. Yes, or there are tüftlers who appear on regional television who then say they have found the solution. I've checked everything, there is no such thing. But I also feel organic waste ... And the longer you leave it standing, the worse it gets.
And that was it for this week.
Die Großen Fünf, definiert von Böhmermann und Schulz.
Dude, we're always doing the belt on Sunday. How can it be that we always talk so much?
We talk so much, I don't know, it's like an old dementia, that we just repeat ourselves and talk about things. Jan, at the end of the show, I would also like to read a little mail after you read it. I have an e-mail here. Recently I was in a live broadcast, you haven't heard of it yet, made strong for the menstrual cup for women, although I don't menstruate myself.
But so many women wrote to me that this is really a game changer, consumes little garbage and of course, but you can hear everything about it, I think, if we watch this live broadcast.
Ja, das ist die Live-Sendung von der IFA. Die ist ja schon ein paar Wochen, liegt die im Giftschrank. Und wir haben uns überlegt, wir strahlen die erst aus. Also wenn die läuft, dann wisst ihr, dass einer von uns krank ist zum Beispiel.
Richtig, dass einer von uns krank ist. Ich habe noch von Lukas eine Mail bekommen. Lieber Olli, lieber Jan, ich weiß natürlich nicht, ob und wie ihr euch bereits damit auskennt, aber als ich diesen Trick das erste Mal hörte, dachte ich mir, wow, das muss doch eigentlich zu dem kleinen Einmaleins der Schnedelträger gehören. Ich nenne sie da einfach halber mal Mann im Folgenden.
Es geht um den berühmten letzten Tropfen nach dem Urinieren. Wir kennen es alle. Siebenmal geschüttelt, im Kreis gedreht, auf den Beinen gehüpft und trotzdem geht der letzte Tropfen in die Hose. Der Griff des heiligen Johannes ist die Lösung. Ein beherzter Griff unter den Hoden und mit zwei Fingern kräftig auf den Damm drücken. You know it, of course, the part between the scrotum and the sputum.
The sputum is the rectum, right? Yeah, the sputum is the rectum. Or also between the sac and the buttock. There runs the hair tube, in which the last drop falls, and which you can promote with a pressure to the outside. After that, of course, washing your hands. Super many men who still don't do that after the toilet. But that's not all.
Washing your hands now or pressing on the dam?
You're supposed to do the push-up, but you're supposed to wash your hands. So that helps to get the last drops out. But that's not all. It can also play a role in masturbation and sexual intercourse, because in the orgasm of the man, the sperm is pumped out through the same channels. If you press it hard during the orgasm, the sperm is not transported outside, but into the bladder.
So to speak, at the intersection to the back and at the next urination. In addition, pressing can also stimulate and above all, no acidity. Maybe you already know that. But maybe not. Then I can give some listeners something more. It has changed my world in any case. I love to hear your show. Greetings, Lukas.
But thank you very much, dear Lukas, for this nice friendly tip here in a big family show on a Sunday afternoon. In the end, a little bit between scrotum and buttock hole. Spundloch. Spundloch. My God, man. You can stop our show. I don't know if it's a spundloch. It sounds like a children's show from the 70s. Spundloch.
Hey, mom, can I still look at the spundloch from the 70s?
With the cheeky scrotum, the little, the little, somehow, rabbit scrotum. That came out at the beginning. Am Anfang der Sendung. Spuntloch, Spuntloch, die Freckenwurst. Also, weißt du so, wo du hinterher rauskam, jahrelang irgendwelche alte hippies so früh Sexualisierung betrieben irgendwie. Inzwischen abgetaucht in irgendeiner Sexsekte im Westerwald oder sowas. Spuntloch.
Was machen eigentlich die Macher von Spuntloch? Ich hab diese Woche... Kennst du dich noch an die Fernsehsendung Bettkantengeschichten erinnern? Hallo, Spuntloch kenn ich noch. Hey, übrigens... On December 25th, 2024, the Hello Spencer movie will be on TV at ZDF Neo at 8.15pm. It will be a Christmas movie. Allegedly, it will also run in the ZDF Mediathek.
But I don't want to defend myself against that. I don't know how I can call the station. I can feel that. I think it's a bit of a shame that it's not in the main program. I've already seen the movie and liked it very, very much.
I also think it's a shame. We'll probably talk about it again, not at the end of the show, but we'll talk about it. We're both HelloSpencer fans. That will be another topic here. That's it for today. Thank you very much for being with us again. When we talk to each other about the head and collar, we share our most secret wishes with you, our longings, but also talk about Spundloch.
And that's why we wish you a nice week. Thank you for listening and say... Have a nice week. See you next time. Hear you next time.
What did you say?
Hear you next time, I just said.
Hear you next time. And if you listen to us everywhere else than on Spotify, then feel really explicitly in the arms. Nice that you are also there. Not just the Spotify exclusive people who have been on our side all these years. We welcome and embrace you too, dear new ones. See you next week.