Digital Social Hour
How I Found Self-Worth After Losing Everything | Bryan Calcott DSH #1310
Wed, 09 Apr 2025
How do you rebuild your self-worth after losing everything? 💭 On this episode of the *Digital Social Hour* with Sean Kelly, Bryan shares his gripping journey from facing the Top 10 Most Wanted list in California to rediscovering what truly matters in life. 🌟 From his struggles with identity, family, and the pursuit of external validation to finding strength through self-forgiveness and accountability, Bryan’s story is raw, powerful, and packed with insights you don’t want to miss. Hear firsthand about his time on the run, the pressures of living a double life, and how he hit rock bottom only to rise stronger than ever. 💪 Whether you're chasing success or searching for meaning, this conversation will inspire you to rethink your definition of self-worth. 🔥 Packed with valuable insights, this episode is a must-watch! Join the conversation and discover why true identity isn’t tied to money, possessions, or external validation—but to your character and resilience. Watch now and subscribe for more insider secrets. 📺 Hit that subscribe button and stay tuned for more eye-opening stories on the *Digital Social Hour* with Sean Kelly! 🚀 CHAPTERS: 00:00 - Intro 00:30 - Most Wanted List 04:41 - Family Estrangement 04:58 - Today's Sponsor 05:58 - Running Away 10:00 - Intro 10:58 - Snitches and Betrayal 17:25 - Digital Age Ethics 18:00 - Red Shea Insights 18:18 - Roger Reeves Story 19:05 - Michael Franzese Interview 20:15 - Murat Balagula Discussion 24:01 - John Gotti Legacy 26:38 - Prison Politics Explained 31:23 - Reasons for Change 37:47 - Last Text to Dad 43:17 - Fear of Hell Explained 45:40 - Final Moments with Dad 47:34 - The Power of Forgiveness 49:39 - Where to Find Bryan 50:00 - Brian's New Book & Show APPLY TO BE ON THE PODCAST: https://www.digitalsocialhour.com/application BUSINESS INQUIRIES/SPONSORS: [email protected] GUEST: Bryan Calcott https://www.instagram.com/b_resilient_af/ SPONSORS: AIRES TECH: https://airestech.com/ NORTHWEST REGISTERED AGENT: https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/socialhour LISTEN ON: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/digital-social-hour/id1676846015 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5Jn7LXarRlI8Hc0GtTn759 Sean Kelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/seanmikekelly/ #triumphwithconfidence #mentalhealthawareness #inspiringjourney #selfimprovement #lowselfesteem
Chapter 1: How did Bryan Calcott end up on California's Most Wanted list?
All right, guys, we got Brian here today. What a story we're about to hear. Thanks for coming on, man. Yeah, of course. Thanks for having me. Yeah, you've been through some stuff. Yeah, you know, just a little. Top 10 most wanted lists in California.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, 2012 to 2015. Yeah, some reputable names on that list. three guys who escaped from Alcatraz in the 1960s. And then there were six murderers on the list and me and the U.S. Marshal who was after me created that list just because he wanted me so badly. So he created that list so he could have more agents and more money to find me. And I had numerous friends.
They told me after I was caught, but I also had a few guys who were over there working for me. And they told me about seeing my face on billboards all over the Bay Area. But it actually made the local news too. And a lot of people called up and were questioning me being on the list.
because it was only for 109 pounds of weed, which in Northern California was an absolute, I mean, it still is, but that's an absolute joke with the amount of trafficking and the amount of weed that was produced in Northern California. 109 pounds of weed was absolutely. Why do you think the Marshall had it out for you?
So he would go talk to my family and he would say, it's like I'm chasing a ghost. So I think it was just an ego trip on his part because he was very, very relentless and he would not give up. He would tell my mother everything. that he was gonna kill me in the field. He would say, oh, you know, things happen, you know, fingers slip.
And my mom told me that he would say in a very sick and demented way, like, you know, I'd really hate for your son to end up dead. But if you tell me where he's at, I can make sure that he's okay. And my mother is the sweetest woman you'll ever meet. She did not know where I was at.
And I just don't understand how supposedly in the pursuit of justice that you, especially for weed too, I wasn't a murderer. I've never violated anybody's autonomy. Okay, fine. I broke the law, even though it's marijuana. I don't agree with the law, but okay, fine. I broke the law, but just the level of,
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Chapter 2: What was the impact of Bryan's fugitive status on his family?
Um, the level that he went to from telling my mother that he was going to kill me in the field to telling my sister, who also did not know where I was at, that she was going to be arrested and her kids were going to be taken into state custody. Yeah. And then my brother-in-law, he's a hardworking Irish immigrant. And he was going through his immigration paperwork at the time.
And they cornered him to the point where he thought he was being detained. Holy crap. Yeah, he thought he was being arrested too. And they, once again, were trying to harass him. And none of them knew where I was at. I knew that if I was going to be on the run, that I couldn't have any contact with them. And so I did for three years completely and totally. cut off contact.
And the other thing, too, is I just I didn't want to involve them. I didn't want I didn't want them to be in the position where they knew where I was at and they would be faced with those kinds of threats and they would have to, you know what I mean? Like, I just didn't want to put them in a position
where they would, because if they would have known where I was at and they would have told them, I couldn't be mad at them for that. You know what I mean? My sister has a family, my brother-in-law has a business. So I didn't want to put them in that position. So they absolutely did not know where I was at and they were still harassed. And a lot of people, when I say that,
They say, oh, well, you should have turned yourself in if you knew that they were going through that. And I can somewhat agree with that, but that still doesn't negate the fact that you cannot break the law to uphold the law. And there were three innocent people who were harassed in a manner that was absolutely illegal. And that just is not what the American criminal justice system is built on.
It is built on the principle that you cannot break the law to uphold the law. And as soon as you try to justify that, it's a slippery slope and you just fall into vigilante, you know, things like that. So that's the part where I can agree with, you know, what police officers are doing, but I just can't agree with feeling that you can break the law to uphold the law. I agree with that.
How hard was that mentally not talking with your family for three years? So the last... Last thing I ever said to my father was you're dead to me. Two months later, he was dead. My mother had Parkinson's. And so my biggest fear was that she was going to die when I was on the run. And when they finally caught up with me, I... Starting a business shouldn't be complicated.
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Chapter 3: How did Bryan manage to live on the run during the digital age?
You can't have any ties with anybody that you know from a past life. And that's actually what got me caught is that there was two friends that I didn't completely cut off and they knew about me. So when they got put in the mix themselves for an unrelated case, you know, the joke is they had to slap him once to get him to talk. They had to slap him twice to get him to shut up.
And so that so that's the other thing, too, is that you can be on the run. You can do all of these things and your whole little system to avoid detection can work, but it can't protect you from just happenstance. And that's ultimately how I got caught was a coincidence of that marshal being in federal court on an unrelated case and hearing an associate of mine, hearing his name called out.
And he instantly heard and said, that's an associate of Calcott's. And so he went up there and got a copy of the indictment. And there was one place in the indictment where a Brian was mentioned. And he said, I know that's Calcott. So he immediately got on a plane and flew to New York and interviewed and interviewed both of my friends.
And as soon as they said, we know, you know, we know, you know where Calcott's at. Boom. They both talked. They followed in. Yeah. And it's crazy because... The prosecutor, that was the last piece of discovery I got.
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My case, it was laid out exactly how it happened with both of their names on the paperwork. Wow. Yeah. Did that break your heart? Because those were two of your childhood friends? No, they weren't childhood friends. They were just people that I associated with. The one guy... You knew he was just weak.
He had already gotten caught up in the Shrimp Boy Chow case, and he immediately started snitching. The other guy, I had paid for his attorney and bailed him out, and he was facing six months in the feds. So there was absolutely no excuse, you know what I mean, for him to do that, especially because I showed him a lot of love, showed him a lot of respect.
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Chapter 4: Why is Bryan Calcott so strict about not snitching?
Yeah, I said when I was 22 years old, I was facing 15 years in prison and I didn't snitch because I was a coward. And the whole concept was that I was scared of who I would have to face in the mirror. And the individual that I got the key from, he was already going to prison for six and a half years.
And so the way the feds work is that if it's your second conviction, any, any mandatory minimum is doubled. So if it's a five year mandatory minimum, it's a 10 year mandatory minimum. If it's 10, it's 20. And so it was a key of Coke. He would have gotten a 10 year mandatory minimum and they would have stacked it because it was something that he did while he was, you know, out on bail. Yeah.
he would have gotten 10 on top of six and a half. So he was already doing six and a half for something I was unrelated to, but he would have gotten 10 stacked right on top of that. And I just, I do not understand how you could do that and then look in the mirror. I mean, it sucks. I was 22 years old. I had to do extra time in prison. But once you get out of prison, that burden is gone.
If you've cooperated, that burden's with you for the rest of your life. I don't know how... you would ever get rid of that burden. And so to me, it's sad to see That people just don't care. And I get it that, you know, you're not in the criminal world. You've never been around that. But, you know, you take somebody like Sammy the Bull and Sammy the Bull was involved in 19 murders.
He tries to say that he cooperated on Gotti because Gotti was talking badly about him and was about to cook him. And you say, OK, well, maybe I could accept that. But then he cooperated in all these other people that had nothing to do. with him. So you can't, you know, there's no justification with it at all.
But then he goes to Arizona, doesn't even appreciate the second chance that he got, becomes involved in that large scale ecstasy ring. And then, you know what I mean? Has to do some time, but now he's out. And just getting all of this attention, getting a scripted series. And to me, that just sends the wrong message. It tells young people that, look, it doesn't matter if you have honor.
It doesn't matter if you have integrity. It doesn't matter if you live by a code or live by principles. The only thing that matters are if you're getting likes and you're getting attention.
and so you remember i was watching this one post and he was just you know there at this party first of all he looks like a creepy old man you know what i mean by all these young girls and he's sitting there dancing and people are cheering for him and it's just like here's a person that was involved in 19 murders has showed absolutely no remorse whatsoever and nobody cares.
And it's just like, I'm not trying to hate on him individually, but you just have to ask the question, what kind of message does that send to young people? The things that have literally guided humanity, the things that have allowed societies and civilizations to be cohesive, honor, integrity, respect, truthfulness, things of that nature. Now we're living in a world where
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Chapter 5: What are Bryan's views on modern digital validation versus personal integrity?
Yeah, he was in FCI Bastrop. Wow. Yep. He was in FCI Bastrop. I had a friend that went and saw him when he got out and Murat told him, you'd meet me at this coffee shop. So he goes to the coffee shop and these two goons in suits get out, check them for wires and everything. And then after they said the coast was clear, then all of a sudden here came this town car, Murat got out.
So even years later, after doing 11 years in prison, Murat got out. Marat was the real deal. A lot of these guys, I mean, don't get me wrong. Sammy the Bull was obviously the real deal. He, you know, committed 19 murders, is involved as one of the most notorious mafia cases ever. But when it came down to it, I mean, he acted like a bitch and he snitched.
Marat is the type of person that, you know what I mean? They write books about, you know, same thing with Red, same thing with Roger. Just that kind of just unbreakable fucking spirit. I don't give a fuck.
what i'm facing i'm not going to cooperate i'm not going to let you take my pride and take you got to make a film about that guy if people knew the truth about marat people would be fascinated with him 100 he didn't care for the attention not at all he wanted to make money you look at somebody like gadi gadi pretty much brought down the mafia because he stepped into the spotlight a lot of the guys behind the scenes hated gadi because they wanted to make money they weren't but you know gadi was just an egotistical maniac
And that's really like when you see the guys that try to say they're in the game right now, try to say they did all these things, you know, rapping about it. It's just like if you've been in the game and you've been around real motherfuckers, the dudes that are running their mouth, they're completely and totally fake. Yeah, you're not going to rap about it, right?
fuck no you're not gonna rap about it especially within like the statute of limitations don't get me wrong some of them are fucking stupid but you know the street level guys are stupid you don't get to a certain level where you're trafficking millions and millions of dollars by being fucking stupid and you certainly don't get there by running your fucking mouth absolutely
Did you have any run-ins with the Jersey or New York mob when you were dealing? No. I mean, so my friends who got me caught up with the Shrimp Boy Chow case, he was friends with a very, very famous mafia guy's son. And any time we'd be at the strip club or be at anywhere, he would show up. I would immediately leave. And it wasn't that I had anything against him. He was actually a really nice guy.
But I knew that... just because of who his father was that they would be tailing him. And sure enough, there was one time when I was over there and he got busted on a bullshit weed case, complete and total bullshit weed case, but they did it just because who his father was. So anytime I came around people like that, I wouldn't do business with them. I also didn't need to.
I had a great network set up. And the whole thing about... Oh, we're going to tax you. First of all, they have to know. And second of all, it's you know what I mean? I've played chess with serious people before and I knew what I was doing. And it's kind of I don't know if you remember the scene from the town with Ben Affleck. I didn't watch that one. You didn't watch it.
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