Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The One TRUTH to Elevate Your Mind, Unlock Your Power, & Heal Your Soul with Jon Gordon 15x Best Selling Author & Thought Leader
Thu, 13 Feb 2025
In This Episode You Will Learn About: The Oneness at the center of success, love, and connection The KEY to true teamwork How your state of mind makes all the difference The real POWER of unity Resources: Website: jongordon.com Website: getonetruth.com Read The One Truth LinkedIn & Facebook: Jon Gordon Twitter, Instagram & Youtube: @JonGordon11 Get 50% off your first box plus free shipping at factormeals.com/confidence50off with code confidence50off. Get 10% off your first Mitopure order at timeline.com/CONFIDENCE. Download the CFO’s Guide to AI and Machine Learning at NetSuite.com/MONAHAN Head to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code CONFIDENCE to get UP TO $300 off today Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/monahan Cancel unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster at RocketMoney.com/CONFIDENCE. Call my digital clone at 201-897-2553! Visit heathermonahan.com Reach out to me on Instagram & LinkedIn Sign up for my mailing list: heathermonahan.com/mailing-list/ Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com If you haven't yet, get my first book, Confidence Creator Show Notes: What is it that holds this world together, forges connections, opens up success, and guides the love and opportunities in your life? That is the concept of Oneness and it is the SOLUTION to fear, isolation, and a low state of mind. Jon Gordon, best-selling author and inspirational speaker, is here to share his discovery on how it all works. Stop struggling with disjointed teams, narcissistic leaders, and energy sucking relationships! It’s time to come together and harness the power of oneness!
Chapter 1: How does state of mind influence success?
It's our state of mind. You understand this. That is a game changer because in one moment you have a high state, you're fine. The circumstance happens and you rise above it. When you're in a low state, same circumstance happens and you don't handle it well and you wind up fighting. Key is to understand high state of mind, low state of mind, and understand it's never the circumstance.
It's our state of mind that moment. So just understanding this allows you to move forward in a more positive way and And the key is you're on that roller coaster and you're going down the roller coaster in a low state. And so often you want to jump off, stay on the roller coaster.
And then what happens is you ride it right back up and you'll experience a high state of mind and more success as a result.
Come on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my closeup.
Tell me, have you been enjoying these new bonus confidence classics episodes we've been dropping on you every week? We've literally hundreds of episodes for you to listen to. So these bonuses are a great way to help you find the ones you may have already missed. I hope you love this one as much as I do. I'm so excited for you to hear my guest this week. It's John Gordon.
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Chapter 2: Who is Jon Gordon and what insights does he share?
He is the bestselling author, which, I mean, he's literally inspired millions, sold millions, worked for Fortune 500 companies, speaks for professional athletes, college teams, professional teams. I mean, so many, 14 bestsellers. five children's books. His books include the timeless classic, The Energy Bus, which alone has sold over 2 million copies.
The Carpenter, which was a top five business book of the year. Training Camp, The Power of Positive Leadership, The Power of a Positive Team, The Coffee Bean, Stay Positive, The Garden. I'm feeling positive just talking about this. This guy is everywhere. He's done everything. And of course, today, he's here with us. John, thank you so much for being here.
Heather, it's great to be with you. And thanks for having me and agreeing to let me talk about this new book, The One Truth Ad. I really appreciate you having me on.
Well, I'll tell you, and I want everyone to know this. Number one, I read a ton of books. But I'll tell you, The Garden, we're not talking about The Garden today. But The Garden, I actually listened to it on Audible. I didn't read the hardcover because I toggle back and forth. I love that book. It was game-changing for me.
And then my son read your book, The Coffee Bean, which to get a 16-year-old boy to read a book and then actually walk away from it and say... Here's what I took from it. Here's how I can apply it to my life was, I mean, that's life changing. So people need to know about your books and I want to bring your messaging to life. So thank you for being here and sharing it.
I appreciate that. And the garden really was sort of the precursor to this new book because without the garden, there would be no One Truth book that I wrote. And even coffee bean, there are elements of the coffee bean that are also in the One Truth, as you probably saw, like we create from the inside out and the power is on the inside. And the garden, the five Ds from the garden,
are actually in the one truth in terms of what divides us what separates us and understanding how these negative thoughts always separate us and divide us and how we have to overcome that to win the battle of our minds so i'm so glad that the garden impacted you and i wrote that you know wanting to help people that were dealing with fear stress and anxiety and i feel like this is like the next level up like it was the garden and then this is the next level up garden is a fable this one's more of a how-to book
And then I'm going to write probably one more book that sort of brings the one truth message from a fable standpoint and tell that story through a fable. I've had this idea for years to write this book, but I haven't been able to write it. And now I know why I had to write the one truth first, and then I'll write that next fable.
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Chapter 3: What is the concept of oneness versus separateness?
So was this inspired thought that came to you to write the one truth?
Oh, totally. Like it was inspired by the idea that there's oneness and there's separateness and everything comes down to that. So when you feel one, you feel connected, you feel love, you feel power, joy, peace. A team that is united and connected is a powerful team. And then we have separateness, a team that feels divided, disconnected. There's a lot of jealousy. There's egos.
They have bitterness. That becomes a very weak team. And so individually, when you feel separate, you actually feel weak. When you feel one, you feel powerful. And once you see the world through this lens, everything makes so much more sense. And then really from there, you can actually become a Jedi in this world.
I was just talking to a major league baseball manager just now for an hour, sharing this with him. And as I'm sharing, he goes... God's amazing. He's like, you're sharing it at the individual level, the psychological level, you're sharing it at the team level. You're sharing at the organizational level. It applies to relationships.
Like you and your son, when you, when you're feeling connected and you're on the same page, you're powerful when you're arguing and not connected, man, it doesn't feel like you'd want to be together. And there's a lot of powerless feeling, you know, Having been a parent with my kids, we're on the same page and connected. It's awesome. When we're disconnected, it really stinks.
And so these were inspired thoughts that were coming to me all last summer. And I had the understanding of high state of mind, low state of mind, which is the first part of the book. There's actually three books in one, as you know, because you read it and thank you for reading it. There's book one, book two, book three, but it's all in one book.
So you could really say section one, but in book one, it's high state of mind. Low state of mind. This is the teaching that I shared all last summer with all the pro teams and college teams I was working with. Sharing this teaching. I didn't write the book yet, but I was teaching it. High state of mind, low state of mind, good friend of mine, Garrett Kramer, taught me that.
So I want to give him credit for that. But then I started to see how high state of mind and low state of mind had a lot to do with oneness and separateness. When you're one, you have a high state of mind and you're separate, you have a low state. I also started to realize how from the garden, the negative thoughts cause you to have a low state and bring you down. Think about negative thoughts.
Think about fear dividing. The root for the Greek word for anxious means to separate and divide. And so when you feel anxious, you feel separate. You feel divided. You feel weak. You feel powerless. So when I wrote The Garden, that was really a good understanding of how thoughts separate you. So I understood that.
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Chapter 4: How does narcissism affect leadership and teams?
And what's interesting is reading the book, The One Truth, I realized she was separating everyone from her. The more she would show up in a controlling fashion, in a I'm perfect fashion, everybody else must be perfect around me. You must do as I say, not as I do. There was this division, lack of clarity in my mind as a leader.
And I was working for her, had been very confident and very successful in business for years. But as I worked with her, I started becoming less confident. I was unclear. I was developing anxiety. I was feeling confused.
A lot of things that you cover in the book and you really make it very clear that we are not operating as one in that moment, that we are not operating from love, but really from this place of fear. So I'd love for you to talk a little bit about narcissistic leaders.
The cool thing is as you're talking about this, it's like you read it and then right away you were able to actually come up with examples and think about leaders, examples from your own experience and knowing your past, knowing your experience, who your leader was, definitely narcissistic, definitely someone who was separate and then made you feel separate. So that's what I love about this book.
As people read it, they're going to be like a Jedi where they're going to be able to like see the world through a lens that actually makes sense. so much more sense. And they're going to be able to understand the world, understand situations, understand people. They're going to have clarity.
It's going to help them navigate what to do in those situations or what the other person is doing and why they're doing it. And this will give you a clear sense and also have so much more power in doing it. So that's what I love about I loved about writing it. I love when people are reading it and getting that.
Catherine, the other day, we were meeting with a college coach and the college coach was talking and Catherine had read the manuscript to help me out a little bit, to give me some thoughts. And she goes, oh, that's because you're looking outside instead of inside. She started giving some of the teachings to the college coach over dinner. of what she read. I go, oh, you read the book?
She goes, oh yeah, it's so clear. I'm like, yes, once you see it, it's so clear. And once you have that clarity, everything makes so much more sense. And so your narcissistic leader, a narcissist actually feels separate. And because they feel separate, they act alone. They go into self-preservation mode because they don't feel like they're part of anybody or any bigger connection.
And so they don't care about anyone else. Because they feel separate. They only care about themselves. And that's what makes them a narcissist. And they wind up separating themselves from others and making people feel less than as a result of that. But here's what's cool.
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Chapter 5: How does oneness contribute to team success?
So I'm now team Miami Heat. During the playoffs, there was this one game. I mean, obviously, there were so many games that we can talk about that were incredible. The Celtics were favored, I don't know, 8-1 over Miami Heat. And there's been so much commentary around them having all the players drafted. Miami Heat didn't have drafted players. We were seeded eighth. They were first or second.
Bottom line is this. The Miami Heat beat the Celtics. Obviously, we all know that now. But when I look back, it was one of these moments when I'm reading the book that it hit me. And this is, I'm so interested in your perspective on it, because I know that you are a huge NBA fan.
You know, Jimmy Butler is a beast, obviously, but watching him with his team, the Miami Heat, and how much he passes and how focused he is on the other players and encouraging everybody else. And in the, you know, after the game, when he's being interviewed, speaking everything about the other players, conversely, the Celtics, who again, everyone will tell you better players, right?
They should have won. People will say that time and time again. They lost. And when you watch their star player, he turned his ankle. All of a sudden, everything started to fall apart. And it was so shocking to see. It wasn't just that game. But for me, that game is what hit me when I was reading your book. Am I hitting it the right way, do you think?
Oh, you nailed it. I mean, watching the interviews, it was, I failed and I didn't live up to what I was capable of. I was injured and man, it was so frustrating. It wasn't a team rallying around each other and saying, hey, let's do this together. The Miami clearly had cohesiveness. They had togetherness. They had unity. They had oneness. And that's why they had power.
And I talk about that a lot in the book, like a team that is one and connected will outperform a team with more talent that is not connected, that is not one. That's why all my books over the years, power of a positive team, you win in the locker room first. I look back now, I go, oh, that's why they worked.
That's why teams who read them actually won championships because they became more connected, which then leads to more oneness, which leads to more commitment, which leads to more love, which leads to let's perform at a higher level together. So everything you're saying is so true. And Jimmy's that kind of guy. But it also starts with Pat Riley and it starts with Eric Spolster.
I'll never forget years ago, Eric reached out to me and said, John, come work with our staff. Come speak to our staff. He goes, we want to be a stronger staff together. be more united, more connected, more committed together so we can better serve our players. I just love that.
He wanted to be stronger as a leadership team because the team that's not connected at the top will crumble at the bottom. We want to be a stronger leadership team so we can better serve our players. What a mindset. And now you have guys like Jimmy who become part of that culture. So that culture...
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Chapter 6: What role does state of mind play in personal interactions?
It usually reaches and leads to a fight when you're in a low state of mind as a parent and your son's in a low state of mind. How does that go? It doesn't go so well. Right. But if you're in a high state and he's having a meltdown, you're like, Hey, calm down. I got this. Let's go. Let's figure this out. But when he's in a low state and you're in a low state, you're both crying.
And so, and I'm speaking from experience because I've been there with my kids. Right.
no, this, I, this just hit me. He had a horrible day a couple of weeks ago, finals, lack of sleep, everything. He came in crying. I haven't seen him cry in years. And I just dropped everything. I was in a fine mood, everything. And I was like, listen, come here. Let me hug you. I love you. Let's talk about what's happening. I knew I could handle it. Cut to yesterday. I was super stressed out.
I was running late for meetings and it was just, I was not running at my best. And I snapped at him so hard. He looked at me, he said, I'm going to go to the gym right now and I'll see you when I get back. And I thought to myself when he did that, wow, to your point, he was in a better state of mind where I was in a low one and he was able to remove himself from the situation and it all worked.
So think about that. You're in a low state. He was in a low state and it didn't go well, but it's never the circumstance. It's our state of mind. And that's a big part of the book. When you understand this, that is a game changer because in one moment you have a high state, you're fine. The circumstance happens and you rise above it.
When you're in a low state, same circumstance happens and you don't. handle it well, and you wind up fighting. So this happens all the time. And the key is to understand high state of mind, low state of mind, and understand it's never the circumstance. It's our state of mind that moment. So when Eric and Jimmy were going at it, they were just both in a low state at that time.
It didn't mean anything was really wrong. They had a little bit of an outburst. I'm sure they got together. You have an honest conversation. You have a transparent conversation. You have a meaningful conversation. And then from there, you find greater connection. And then you walk away as one team. I had a coach and a Super Bowl incredible player quarterback, right?
Struggling during the year a little bit. Got together, had a heart-to-heart about their fears, the expectations, what the world was looking for, what the world was expecting. Fear of not meeting those expectations, got together, talked it out. From that moment on, they were now one team working together. And then they wind up doing amazing things, win a Super Bowl as a coach and as a quarterback.
So that's the power of those kind of moments of coming together after maybe a fight. But I think what happens so often is you have a bad moment. You have a bad game. You have a bad sales call. What happens with a bad sales call? Okay, you have one bad sales call. You're in a low state of mind. It doesn't go well. You get rejected.
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