Traditional Q and A to round out the week, answering only the most demanding questions facing our society. I'm not sure they were actually that serious, but it sounds good. I did actually cover: Dreams, evolving social circles and desires as you age, and turning your emotions back on after working hard to separate from them. Enjoy Today's Sponsors: AG1: AG1 is offering new subscribers a FREE $76 gift when you sign up. You’ll get a Welcome Kit, a bottle of D3K2 AND 5 free travel packs in your first box. So make sure to check out https://DrinkAG1.com/clearedhot Stopbox: Listeners are getting a crazy deal. Not only do you get 10% Off your entire order when you use code "clearedhot" at stopboxusa.com, but they are also giving you Buy One Get One Free for their StopBox Pro. That’s 10% off AND a Free StopBox Pro when you use code "clearedhot" at https://stopboxusa.com
Chapter 1: What questions does Andy Stumpf answer in this episode?
We are back. Friday programming. Last Friday was Negligent Discharge Friday with Young Michael. I think I'm going to stick with that name. I tell you what, these Friday episodes, even though it's a little bit weird, you're sitting here staring into a camera, you know, like a dead fish eye of a lens. I really enjoy the questions because it forces me to question my own beliefs.
Chapter 2: How can I submit a question to Andy?
Why do I believe what I believe? What do I actually think? How many mistakes have I made in my life that I can hopefully try to round the edges on other people's experiences? The answer to that is numerous and far too many. But I enjoy it. I get asked all the time, how do you submit a question? The easiest way to do it is to shoot me an email. It's my name, andystumpf212 at gmail.com.
That's the easiest way. Now, before we get into today's Friday Q&A, hold on. Man, a little tickle in the back of the throat. Allow me about a minute. Let me pay the bills. That's how this works. I love bringing this to you for free, but I also have bills as well. So help me pay them so I can hopefully continue to help others and keep spreading the word. Today's episode is brought to you by AG1.
Chapter 3: What role does AG1 play in Andy's health journey?
A lot of people make fitness-related goals around the tail end of the year or the first of every year, and I think the math shows that most people have given up on them by about the last day in January. If not, where we're at right now, which is mid-February. I have fallen victim to that myself. As I get older, it is one thing that I am not willing to budge on.
So for me, I am working on everything I can to be efficient and effective with my health journey moving forward in my life. And that is exactly where AG1 fits in for me. There's nothing easier than filling up this container that comes with the AG1, shaking it up, and helping support my energy, digestive regularity, immune support, and even a healthy mood.
In one easy serving size, you put it in the refrigerator. I like it better with cold water than with warm. Taste is very variable. People ask me if it tastes good. I think it tastes great, but I also don't like the taste of tomatoes. So maybe somebody who doesn't like tomatoes, you see where I'm going with this? Nobody really knows. It's very subjective, but it's super easy.
One of the things that is key in my health goals is water intake, hydration. I had a surgery in late 2023 and I realized how dehydrated I was walking around. First thing I do in the morning is is I make one of these bad boys and I slam the entire thing. So it's allowing me to attack multiple things at once.
It's got vitamins, minerals, prebiotics, probiotics, greens and superfoods, antioxidants, stress adaptogens, and digestive enzymes. And I'm also attacking my hydration as well. If this sounds like something that you want to try, AG1 is offering new subscribers a free $76 gift when you sign up.
You're going to get a welcome kit, a bottle of D3K2, and five free travel packs in your first box, so you can take this stuff on the road with you as well. So make sure you check out drinkag1.com slash clearedhot to get this offer. That's drinkag1.com slash clearedhot to continue, not to start, but to continue your 2025 health and wellness goals. Okay, got the red smoke. Ah! North and south.
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Chapter 4: How do dreams reflect our experiences?
West of the smoke. West of the smoke. Okay, copy. West of the smoke. I'm looking at danger close now. Come on, win it, baby. Give it to me. I need it. You're cleared hot. Copy. Cleared hot. All right. Three questions for today. Very different. This first one, I don't know if I've ever been asked a question about this topic, which is why it stuck out to me. Long story short, it's about dreams.
The dreams that I had, the dreams this person has had. And what do they mean? And I tell you off the top of my head, I don't know shit about dreams. I am not an expert on what goes on between people's ears. But this is fascinating. So here's the question. Mr. Stumpf. I've never been much of a dreamer. I always had a difficult time managing my sleep schedule.
I worked second shift for three years, and through that time, I don't remember having a single dream. A little context, I'm a 24-year-old father of three. Goddamn, man, really getting after it, okay? I tell you what's going to be awesome for you, though, is that by the time you're 48, double your age right now,
Your kids are going to be at a totally different phase of their life and you're going to be able to do awesome, active, amazing things with them throughout that time period. I mean, it's pretty cool to have a 21, I'm talking about myself here, to have a 21 year old son now who's getting into jujitsu, who likes doing stuff outside that you can be super active with and travel and share experiences.
It's awesome. I'm glad that I had children when I was younger or that I didn't have any children. That my ex-wife and I had children when we were younger. I really do think there's something to be said about being physically active with them as they grow. Having said that, nothing wrong with having children when you're later in life.
I know some friends who had children in their late 40s and I think early 50s. 50s as far as people that I know. I know Al Pacino just had a girl, a kid with his girlfriend. Al Pacino, I believe is 174 years old. I don't know how old his girlfriend was. I'm not so sure he's going to be around for high school graduation. Maybe not here nor there.
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Chapter 5: Why are some dreams so vivid and realistic?
The older people I know who have had children later in life, they were in such a different phase in their life, had such a concrete idea of who they were and just an amazing amount of experience, context, Patience. So different. I have heard most of them express, though, concerns about as they age and their children are getting older. So I don't know if one's either right or wrong.
Three kids at 24. All right. That's a lot. Strap in, man. I'm happy for you, though. I have an amazing wife, and we are learning and making a priority of growing together and spending quality time. I work 50 hours a week in a welding facility, and I make it home to my bed every night. What guy wouldn't dream of the life I have? Here's my question. Yeah.
I don't have many dreams, but when I do, holy shit fuck bleep. His words, not mine. Choose your expletive. I have reoccurring dreams of vivid, vivid CQB, which would stand for close quarters battle, in some country with brick buildings, checking angles, getting hit with mortar rounds, grenades, hand-to-hand combat. It sounds scary, but I have never seen anything like that.
How is it so thrilling waking up soaked in sweat wondering why? Just why am I having... vivid, wild dreams of war. Obviously, I've never been to war, and I can't say the dreams are even realistic. It's based on the things I see in our culture, but damn it, it feels real. Thank you again if you choose to read this. So I'll get to his description of it.
Prior to joining the military, did I ever have dreams of war? One of the most common questions I will get is, how did you know what you wanted to do since you were a young man? And for those of you who are unfamiliar, I guess, with my origin story, I knew what I wanted to do since I was 11, which is not normal to hear an 11-year-old say. And I don't mean I knew broadly what I wanted to do.
I didn't say, hey, I want to join the military and I'll figure it out from there. I knew exactly the job inside of the military that I wanted to do. It was at least atypical with my peer group. And I have another data collection point of my own three children's and asking children's. God, the words today. You know what I mean? Sometimes you struggle. The data point of my own three children.
you ask each of them, what do you want to do? And they can give you a broad brush stroke, which I completely and utterly support. I actually think it's totally fine for people to figure out what they want to do as they age through life. And it's okay if it changes. None of my kids, and I've asked, I would say a good amount of their social circle, the same type of question. So I have anecdotal
I don't even want to say evidence, but anecdotal data points of this, not a single one has been able to say, this is what I want to do. And this is the path that I want to take to get there. I knew what I wanted to do. Not broadly, but precisely. I knew I wanted to join the Navy. I knew I wanted to follow the SEAL pipeline. But I didn't have any idea of what I actually thought it was going to be.
It consumed my thoughts from the age of 11 on. Not in a negative way, but it was always in the back of my mind. I, you know, in high school would junior lifeguards. Actually, did I even do junior lifeguards in high school? I think that was before high school. It was more sports in high school. But still always in the back of my mind, I know this is what I want to do. So I'm going to go work out.
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Chapter 6: How do I make new friends as I age?
What I can tell you as you get older and you have kids, it hurts a lot more when you wake up the next day and your kids are still there and they don't actually care if you went to the bar and had a good time with your bachelor friends. They still want you to show up as dad. So you have to start making choices again, because the number of people that you are responsible for
Chapter 7: What should I do if my friends are not supportive?
And responsible two is now greater than one. It just is what it is. So I would expect a little bit of a drift in that area because if you're going to use an iceberg analogy, you might have carved off from the same one, but you're just on a different trajectory. And that is the way that it is. It's not good or bad.
It's just different life choices that is going to lead you in different directions in your life. Well, I got rid of that question. Here we go. I do have some friends from my time in the National Guard, but we are all slowly losing touch. Our conversations always revolve around the job, and I don't feel like I'm able to connect with them on a deeper level.
More than anything, I just want a strong core group of friends who I can trust and rely on and for them to know that they can trust and rely on me. Sounds equitable. The kind of friend you could call at 4 a.m. in the morning and you could trust that they'd turn up for you. I'm feeling guilty bitching about this as I have a great family life.
That said, it feels like there's a hole missing in my life that should be filled with good, reliable friends. With that said, I am completely directionless on how to make friends in my 40s while working a remote IT job with no work colleagues to speak of. I'm reaching out to you because I value your perspective.
Have you ever experienced this problem when getting out of the Navy and trying to make new friends in middle age? Excuse me, sir. I am not middle-aged. I am still young in life now.
chipper young man middle age is 60 until I get to be 60 and then I'm going to say it's 80 any advice you can give on where I could start would be appreciated I do have some advice on this one and I'm not going to say I've ever been somebody who's had a large friend circle or social circle but I do care very deeply about the friends that are in my life and okay let me think here for a second
I geographically moved from where I served in the military. So I understand what you're saying. It's not like I have a remote IT job with no work colleagues, so to speak of, but where I moved to, there are no people that I used to work with. So that was accurate. And I'm trying to think of the people who are in my life now, my social circle now.
I maintain contact remotely with some people that I did work with. Not probably as many as people listening to this or watching may think. And that's not a bad thing. I just, I'm not Hugely socially driven. But for everybody else in my life, the relationships are a product of where I live now. So how did I do that?
I did not carry a sign down the street saying I was looking for friends, even though there are some crazy people where I live who do carry signs down the street. And I was just bummed to hear that one of them is probably going to be in jail for the next five years because he actually was determined to be crazy because his signs were fantastic.
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