Join Alex in the studio for a chat with Grammy-award winner, Ciara! Ciara reflects on some of her most iconic moments throughout her career and discusses hard lessons learned after nearly two decades in the industry. In this episode, Alex and Ciara discuss what it takes to leave a toxic relationship, what she now recognizes as red flags, and why you should always choose yourself first. Ciara gushes over her husband, Russell Wilson, and reminisces on their love story. She talks about how she knew he was “the one,” how communication is key, and what their house is like on game day. Ciara is here dishing out wisdom and advice… so get ready Daddy Gang, it’s time to level up in all aspects of life!
Chapter 1: What inspired Ciara's career journey?
experience the transformation. Love believes all things.
Love hopes all things. Daddy gang, I am so excited for today's guest. Are you ready? Ciara is here. She is a Grammy award-winning triple platinum musician. She's also an entrepreneur, cover model, fashion icon, wife, mother. I mean, goddamn, is there anything that she doesn't do? I cannot wait to sit down with her and get to know her today.
I remember being so obsessed with her music when I was younger, fully had a dance routine to one, two step. I still remember the choreography to this day. Maybe I will have to show her my dance moves. She like fully leaves and walks out. She's like, you're so bad. No, but in all honesty, you guys, if you think about it, in her two decade long career, Ciara has seen ups and downs, but...
our girls always come out on top. And daddy gang, we're getting into it today. We are gonna discuss toxic relationships, knowing your worth, leveling up in all aspects of life. This episode is going to be, I already know it, full of wisdom and advice and just things that are gonna make you feel good, okay? So come hang out with me and Ciara. Ciara! This is, she's like, I'm not coming in now.
Let's go! What is up, Daddy Gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy. Sierra, welcome to Call Her Daddy. Thank you for having me. I am so happy you're here. First of all, congrats on your pregnancy. Thank you. Talk to me. How far along are you?
Oh my gosh. I don't say how far along I am because I'm kind of funny on marking the time because the most important wish is a healthy baby and desire. And I feel like when you mark time, it kind of puts pressure on the time marker. Totally. But I am, I am, the bump is bumping. I'm feeling good. I'm feeling a little, I would say big and slow, but you know, I'm feeling good. I'm feeling grateful.
So this is baby number four. Number four.
did you always want a big family i did i'm an only child so i think because of that like i used to always beg my mom and dad for a brother or sister like please please please can you have another baby and they would be like it's not happening um and then i kind of like being a only child as i got into my teens like this actually works out it's all about me i like it
I am such a big fan and this year marks the 20th anniversary of your debut album, Goodies. It is crazy to think that because it's like you've just done so much in your career, but to think back to those OG days, I'm wondering like, what does it make you feel when you know that people 20 years later are still so obsessed, so in love with the original hits?
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Chapter 2: How did Ciara know it was time to leave a toxic relationship?
And it doesn't have to be a lot of people, but I think if you don't have good people, you can lose your way because then you're potentially hanging out with people that could sway you or you don't trust. And then you have trust issues. It's like making sure you know people are there for the right reasons, which sometimes you can't. You have to just trust.
And sometimes you get screwed over. 100%, you gotta have people that you know are gonna be honest with you, that will hold you accountable. But it's also how do they hold themselves? How do they live their lives too? You can't have the wrong people feeding you like you said. That's when it is dangerous.
And one thing I have learned is that when you're vulnerable, that is the most crucial spot to listen to the right person. Because you can listen to the wrong person when you're vulnerable and they can send you completely left, right? Like that's the thing about life. It's like amazing how one decision can change your life for better or for worse. One decision, right?
So who's feeding you when you're vulnerable? Like that's so important.
you even see some celebrities and you can tell like the people that maybe don't have people with the right intentions in their camp. Because it's like, of course, like you guys at some point can be just reduced to like an object of like, go here, go here, go here. We're all making money off of you. And at some point you have to decide like,
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Chapter 3: What are red flags in relationships Ciara recognizes now?
you're the one that keeps it all moving so you have to advocate for yourself in some capacity like keep those people that actually have the right intentions and the right like they want the best for you and that's hard though it is it's hard but you know my thing is it's like there's a lot in the bible it talks about what good is it for a man to gain the world and lose his soul
One of my greatest fears is to have a certain amount of success. It's like the highest level, but to not know who I am. And I'm very, very intentional about that. Like making sure I'm checking myself too. Like I gotta check myself sometimes too. And it's like, I wanna be incredibly successful, but I don't want it that much. I'm like lost in the end.
Right, imagine it all comes down, we pray we all get to 80, 90, and you're like, I did it for all, I got no one around me. I got nothing that I, I don't even know who the hell I am. I'm glad I got the Grammys and the awards and the albums, but like, who am I?
And still be empty. Yeah, I'm so terrified of that. And I see it happen so often in my industry. Like a lot of the greats that I respected and admired, a lot of their stories,
like it's not that beautiful story that you saw and why you fell in love with what they do and i'm just like man like that's not truly living to me like it can't my life my the success of my life can also be based off of the materialistic stuff and the awards and all those great things like that's that just can't be enough to fill my cup because honestly sometimes those things don't happen for you when you want them to happen anyways like there's still things that i wish i you know could do i'm hoping to do yeah
and it may not happen so i've got to make sure i have a level set an understanding of like what is my definition of success right when you're so young you look so far ahead like and you should you should look far ahead and you shouldn't dream big but you're like sometimes so honed in on like you know all these things that you have so much time to get to and it's like you know you got to have perspective right you gotta like stay rooted within yourself and know who you are along the way
Because you can lose yourself. It's so true. And I appreciate you saying that because it's like, I feel like we right now, our culture is very like, go, go, go. You want more. We want the coolest fashion. We want money. We want success. We want the big cars and the houses and the cool things. And if you don't have it, then you're a loser and you're not as cool.
There's just so much comparison right now. And especially for women. It's just like...
the aging aspect and like we're not good enough if we don't get the there's just so much what is something that you learned in your 20s that you still carry with you to this day that you can share with us patience i i really that's one of my favorite words well actually perspective is one of my favorite words but also patience i would say patience um is everything
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Chapter 4: How does Ciara stay grounded in her career?
Well, yes. Like how is a person talking to you? How do they treat others? How do they, you know, you do ignore a lot of stuff, like when you just want to see what you want to see. But again, when you start thinking holistically, it's like, you know, no one's going to be perfect, but you do want the one that's perfect for you.
Like, and how many boxes can they check off for you that fits like what your desire is? And it should be both ways, right? Me and Russ, we always talk about being equally yoked. Like for us from day one, like honestly, I think it was a, you know, healthy place. And I thank God because we always saw, we kind of saw a lot of things the same way.
Girl.
Listen, track record. And sometimes too, like, listen, you know, you don't, you, again, you see things how you see them. Like sometimes you do overlook things because of your perspective. And again, it's like, you're trying to see things like the glass has full, like you're trying to see it from a positive lens. But again, like what's a person doing?
I think more than anything, it's like, they can tell you everything. A person can be like, oh, I've changed and I'm doing that. And I've heard those stories before. Yeah. I've heard that song before. But what are they doing? Right. And I think sometimes you tend to put the words before the actions. Right.
You listen, you listen more versus like just watching, like, how are they showing up or not showing up? Like, and then sometimes you don't realize like they're telling you. It's like they're telling you the same thing in a different way. It's like, well, wait a minute. What you told me last time, you're telling me the same thing again, and you're doing the same thing again. So like, what the fuck?
You know what I'm saying?
And yeah. And I love what you said about you and Russell. It's like, we're very similar in the way that we think and what we like and what we believe in. And like, of course, everyone's different. But when you find yourself trying to make something work so hard, and you're the one that's constantly forgiving or coming back.
full stop yeah red flag red flag yeah for sure it's like it takes two yeah you know and like how are you showing up like you ain't showing up so i ain't showing up either i'm actually going i'm out like yeah i showed up and i'm cool like you ain't gonna exhaust me to the because honestly you can lose yourself in those moments like and like i said it's one of my greatest fears and i've been there before i'm looking to someone i'm like you ain't gonna waste my life
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Chapter 5: What advice does Ciara give about not letting others waste your time?
Chapter 6: How has Ciara's perception of success changed over the years?
No, yeah, you're right. Don't be afraid of like the best part is leaving. The best part is getting out. The best part is finding yourself without that person. And obviously you now are in such a healthy relationship. It looks and I'm so happy for you. Just like even when you talk about him, I can just tell like.
yeah like you're happy and so I also wonder like when you go into a healthy relationship I think sometimes it's so annoying but like sometimes we can't help but bring our baggage and our habits from our past relationships that we've had in our life like was there anything that you had to unlearn essentially when you got into your relationship with Russell leave it at the door
Leave it at the door. I think that's so important for yourself and your own sanity, but it's also not fair to your partner to bring old baggage that is from the past. Because then I think you don't give yourself an opportunity to fully be in that love and be engulfed in that love and to create something fresh for yourself.
Before Russ came into my life, I didn't think he was gonna come into my life that fast, to be honest with you. But before he came into my life, The place that I was at mentally when I decided I'm desiring something different and I was very intentional in that phase of my life and obviously you have my baby in my life, my first born. I took that moment for myself.
Cause I think sometimes too, like if we go back to back, you know, in relationships, you also aren't having a chance to like make peace with yourself and to really like tap into you in a way that you maybe don't know you need to, but you need to sometimes pause, like take a break and just like love on yourself, reset, get clarity. You know, the past is the past.
Where are you trying to, where do you want to, and really to look ahead, like and be clear and intentional with that. So I think, I will say, the moment before Ross came into my life, I said, I thought I was gonna be single for like four years at least. I was like, I'm not doing this, no. I'm tired, like I'm like, what's going on?
And I'm also, it's self-reflecting, it's everything going on, right? So I had like to go through that phase and that process and that journey, And so in that moment when you're resetting, the things that are of the past, they're starting to become of the past to you. So it's like you're already clearing up your mind just in general for yourself.
Not even for someone to come into my life, but just me doing this self-cleanse thing I need to do with myself.
get really find myself like who am I like what's this woman want to feel like when she walks throughout the world like what does she talk like what does she think like like I mean he's all these things that are about myself I'm like this is what I need for me right and then of course like who's going to be in her life like I'm thinking about these things and I'm like I mean my mind is as vivid as it can be and like he's going to be
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Chapter 7: What life lessons has Ciara learned from her 20s?
not i haven't talked to anyone like that like i haven't felt anything like that but i feel everything that i said like i almost can cry my hormones but maybe it's not my hormones but but i could like see like it was exactly what i was saying right in front of me like it's crazy like crazy how when when did you meet him like what was the situation how did you meet
when did you meet him like what was the situation how did you meet we met um when we meet what year was this 20 oh gosh 2015 okay in 2015 okay um where were you we were actually in california and the crazy thing is we started talking early at first um we were chatting a little bit and then we had our first in-person meeting before we so before we met in person we were chatting a little bit and when he met in person was the craziest thing because i
was trying to make sure I'm doing this right. Cause mind you, I hadn't met a guy at this point. I hadn't talked to a guy or anything at this point. So I'm like, this is like, you know, it's a guy in general.
And then he always hosts, he was like, well, cause I'm like, well, when we were meeting, I'm like, I also was looking at it from a friendship perspective, you know, I'm just saying like, you know, the buildup before you get there. And he was like, what friendship? He's like, I want to look for an old friend, you know? So we joke about that. I love it. Because I want to be like really like.
Best buds. Yeah. What you talking about? I mean, but he was cute though, you know, you know, but you know, we, we gonna start, we gonna go on phases kind of thing. Right. But when we met in person, um,
the first time in person we talked um was actually at my place oh and you know the it was kind of the not kind of but it was the best thing for the both of us we felt because even though we were you know meeting as friends and all that stuff even though we're doing that it's not you know My son was there and my dad was there. So see the friendship perspective.
Oh yeah, you really were like, he's probably like, oh my God, I'm meeting the dad.
And you're like, no, you're just a homie.
No, no, no, no, no, no. We actually talked about it. And you know, what did he say to me? He was like, well, I'm gonna have to meet him anyways. Like Wes was very like, I love it. Confident. Very. So I'm like, you know, so we meet. And again, that's not that's not like a traditional way. I'm not telling someone to do that. Yeah.
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