Chelsea Handler: Drugs, Dog Parks, & Dick Appointments
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What is up, daddy gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper, with Call Her Daddy. No, she's already talking shit. Get in here!
I can't hear where the crazy is coming from. This direction? Oh my God, you guys. It's us! We're back together again! You have no idea how stupid you are.
No, you don't know. No, I do. I do. No, sit down.
Are those pills? Those are Vicodin. What? I have a fever right now, just so you know. This is my Owl's Brew Chelsea Handler's Vodka Lemonade that's coming out with my book. I have three flavors, pink, yellow, and mint. Non-sparkling, very healthy cocktail. I'm gonna be drinking this while I'm here.
Do you wanna just do full promo and I'll just sit back and relax?
Sure, that's why I'm here. Wait, what is? So I was supposed to, I'm in agony. I have a shoulder infection. Okay. And they wanted to have surgery today and I have too much press, including you. I'm like, I can't blow off Alex. I don't even know who I'm talking to. Who am I talking to right now? Look at me. There's so many people here. What? Okay. We're all just staring at you. But my assistant put this in my car this morning, and I was like, what do you want me to do with that? He goes, I don't know. Take it around with you. I go, take it around with me? He's new to town, so he doesn't know how things work. I think it's kind of incredible. But I thought it was really funny.
Oh, I think it's amazing.
Just put it right there. But I do have to take a Vicodin, and I thought, what better place? Do it right here. So I'm doing my surgery. I got an injection to help my shoulder, a PRP injection. Whoever's listening, don't ever fucking do that. And now, and I've had chills and sweats for the last like two weeks since the injection. And my arm was excruciating, like my shoulder, I couldn't lift it. I can barely lift it now. And so I come back from Whistler and I go to the doctor and I was like, something's off. And they're like, let's give you an MRI. And they're like, oh, you have an infection. And I was like, okay. And they're like, do you feel like you're infected? And I said, well, I've been having hot and cold flashes for the last two weeks, but I just assumed that was like perimenopause or something. So I got estrogen, progesterone, and now I found out it's a fucking infection. And I'm probably not even in perimenopause. I probably am. You know what I mean? Yeah.
Wait, so you're taking a Vicodin right now? Absolutely. I've never had one. What does it do? You want one? No, no, no. You should have one, actually. Should I?
Yeah. To calm me down?
Probably.
Does it relax you? It feels good. You know what I mean? It's like a nice buzz. Like, you'll see what happens to me. Halfway through this interview, it'll hit? I cut it in half because it hits you faster if you do that. Just FYI for pills. I seem crazy right now.
No, no, no. This is good. You look gorge. I know. Thank you. I loved your interview with Amy. Oh, that was fun.
Yeah, that was really fun.
That was a good time. And she brought her like feet with no fucking nail polish.
And she didn't wear socks with her shoes. She dresses worse than you do. You know what I mean? She just does not give a shit. I just was with her in New Orleans. Amy will walk down the street in pajamas and go out. She does not care. She doesn't care. But I kind of love that. She did it. She did an episode with Oprah for something. And I'm pretty sure it was it was something like sweatpants and like a cardigan and to do like some interview with Oprah somewhere. And I just thought, wow, look at you, girl.
Is that how you feel about what I wore when I interviewed the vice president? I wore a big fucking hoodie and everyone was giving me so much shit for it. Like how, why didn't you dress up for that?
I think what your stick is, is good. I should keep it. Yeah. Yeah. Keep it. Who cares who you're interviewing? She didn't win anyway. So obviously it didn't fucking matter. You know what I mean?
Okay. We're not smoking today.
No, I don't think we can, but it will be there.
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