Yudmi Sharma
Appearances
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Thank you, thank you. How are we doing tonight, folks? We good? Yeah! All right. See, I was drunk in Vegas one time. And what I didn't know about Vegas is that you can't hail a cab anywhere on the strip. It has to be like a hotel or one of these designated locations. I didn't know that.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
So I'm trying to hail a cab, and I'm thinking they're not stopping because they're like, oh, we don't want this drunk idiot in our car. But finally, I was able to kind of hail one. And for whatever reason, my drunken mind was like, hey, go speak Spanish to this guy because he's going to be more amicable in giving you a ride.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
So I got to his car, and I was like, señor, Hotel Luxor y Casino, por favor. And without missing a beat, he's like, rápido, cabrón. I got in the car, we looked at each other and realized we're both Indian. Yeah, he's like, where do we go from here? And I was like, Luxor. Luxor still, por favor. Por favor. I'm trying to enjoy the little things in life, like little titties.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Man, I wish I had little titties. You ever go to give a woman a hug and you and her both realize at the same time you have bigger cysts than her? Embarrassing for everybody. Thank you.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
I don't know. Do you always look like a gay one? Whoa!
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
So I take support for the most part. Do you work from home?
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Usually Zoom calls, but you know. So you, okay. It's first, I have a couple clients who, they need older clients, they need some stuff done, and I'm like, yeah, I got it. Do you Indian it up when you answer those calls? I try not to. I am here to assist you, or whatever. Oh, yeah. I've never heard the Indian accent before. Can you guys believe it?
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
I got a couple moves, Tony. I don't want to show any of those to you, though. Are you gay? It's incredible. No. It is unbelievable.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Whoa. Mostly into Latinas. Look at you. It's not super serious, so ladies, I'll be outside, okay?
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Yeah, I don't think... Oh, and have this live forever on the internet. Fuck all of you.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Mostly I'm just doing comedy for the moment. That's an H, not an M, huh? Yes, sir. UD. UD.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Just doing comedy for the most part. I'm here in Austin. I'm an L.A. comic here for the week and did a couple shows and now I'm here.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Two and a half years. So the whole time in L.A.? Yes, sir.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
A lot has changed, by the way. Like what? Well, I guess it got worse for a while. After COVID, it got worse, and then it's come back up now, I think.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Manhattan Beach. Oh. I got a place in Manhattan Beach, go there, first date, and then do what you gotta do. It's your place? No, no, like a nice restaurant there. Okay, what kind of food is it exactly? Pasta, you know, Italian place.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Hell yeah. You know what that is? A little fagguccini for Tony. Oh, you son of a bitch.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Fucking ever. And then I've been known as the guy, the Indian Bert Kreischer fucking forever. Yeah, no thanks.