Whitney
Appearances
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Mine is gummies and self-improvement too. Dichotomous.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Never during the day and never outside my apartment because I don't speak after. You know, I just go full mute. It's just like I'm only alive inside my own body.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
I mean, I'm so used to it at this point, but no, I don't think it's good for speeding up the synapses. I think it makes you slow as shit.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Yeah, I have the dumbest thoughts. I'm like, popcorn is good. I don't ever think of anything just regular.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
That was really tragic because it was just like this doesn't, this isn't the art form.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Yeah, it's like having a breakup with someone and you don't want to go to the restaurant.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
I was going to say, you probably made so much money.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
And then a special promo. Nice. Just to visit my old home. What a godless town you guys have here.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Oh, no, it's on YouTube now. I got it back. I got it back.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Yeah, they did that little first crop of everyone. Mm-hmm. But it's on YouTube now, baby.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Yeah, it's cool. It's like an old rock club. It was really fun.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
In case my hands got cold, I guess. During the special.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
I feel like people have stopped the distance at the ATM now. I was like, what are you doing? Get off me.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
I'm like, why are you such a loser? Quiet down your car.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Love motorcycle guys. What are you doing? Yeah.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
No, I don't. No. I'm like, how would you safely bury my children? You'll be dead. Good point. You'll be dead before we have to go to preschool. Yeah.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
He was trying to dominate you. Oh, my God. Sign of dominance.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Yeah, neither do I. Me neither. I just wear it.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
How come, usually those rumors get around and that one has not reached me yet.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Woo! That's what mean guys comment on my videos. They're like, he has the same condition as RFK Jr. They all write that. I sound like RFK Jr.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Has anyone ever gotten mad at you and been like, what the hell is this?
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
I went on Saturday. Oh, really? Yeah. How was Nate? He was great.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Yeah, it was so much fun. I've never been before.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Yeah, and it was so cool seeing Dana Carvey, too.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
I watched that. It was like four episodes. I had no idea what I was getting into. It was like four episodes. My dad raped me. I was like, what?
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
I think it's good, though, because they're going to get a new trial, I think.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Even though they're really mad. They were so mad at Ryan Murphy. They were? Yeah, because they're not happy with their portrayal.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
yeah but apparently trial was that they didn't believe in male um sexual assault back then and so all the evidence was dismissed in their trial and that's where they got life and so now they're saying if it were evaluated now they'd be tried completely differently good point i heard there's no evidence though the but there's no evidence i mean how do you get the evidence 40 years later.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
I remember being a kid, like, walking by, and my brothers were watching, and I'd be like, what the fuck is with his eyes?
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Yeah, it was so sinister. It was like some Michael Jackson shit. Oh, really? Like the text messages that got released.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
They were like, look at this moron. He's going to buy more shit from me. What? Yeah.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
And then they won't let you fall asleep either.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
And you're like, I'd like my brain to just shut down.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Yeah, it's not my shit. I would have never sought it out, but I thought it's so good.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
You cannot tell. He's like some scary ass ogre.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Yeah, it's all the mob, which is not what I thought it was going to be about.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
No, it's like we all, like my brothers and stuff, you know, that would be a heckle to them all the time in sports.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
But he definitely is on something at that age to be that ripped. You know, he's on T or something.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Yeah, because he's so jacked, and it's like you just don't produce enough testosterone to be that jacked at that age. Totally.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
That's what I thought. That's what I thought you were saying.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
He's such a babe, yeah. Such a babe. Oh, my God. He is incredible.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
I'm such a freak. Like, my number one love of my life is Walton Goggins.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Yeah. Like, I think he's just so cool and so amazing.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
I like guys that are not, like, the actor-y. Well, I guess those are really actor-y looking photos.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
He got his teeth knocked out when he was a child. So people gave him shit about his teeth, but they were actually knocked out.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Yeah, I like a fucking freak-o. Who else? Who else?
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
It's like a nostalgia thing. But he was excellent in that show.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
There's no rhyme or reason to the men I like. I like also Jeffrey Dean Morgan because he just seems like a man that grills in the back of...
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
It's really not a, it's like a X factor thing.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
You know, which has not served me well in my life at all.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Because a relationship cannot be sustained on je ne sais quoi.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
I was like, wow, me and Bill are just twinsies.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Yeah. I was like, more men should wrangle crocodiles.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
But my reps made me take down my... What? I had a feat OnlyFans for 24 hours, and then they made me take it down because I auditioned for Disney a lot.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Thank you, Kyle. Please spread this. I'm always shocked. And my friends are always like, you couldn't see it coming? I was like, no. It was like mid-sentence.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
But I'm always like, but like, how could you not tell that I was not into it at all? Like, can't you feel a vibe?
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Not a bad date. Like, I wouldn't say they were bad dates. Like, I feel like I screen really well, so they were very nice people. They were not, like, bad guys at all. Like, I've never even had a bad experience, but I just did not see this coming from anywhere. Like, because I was like, I've known you for 30 minutes at 6.30 p.m. and still light out.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
I always think that I'm going to say something quippy or something in that moment, and then you're so caught off guard that I'm like, okay, I guess I'm just going to be polite and kiss this man back, but I don't want to.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
No! I'll just try to make it quick or whatever.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Well, I don't even want to kiss a stranger. Like, I can't imagine wanting to sleep with a stranger.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
I have to really, really like someone to want to sleep with them. I know you can't relate to this at all.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
sense though yeah yeah i think if guys are on a bad first date you're thinking like how can i still get laid oh totally sure whereas i don't think i mean women don't think that way right no they're like gotta get out no i'm like ew how do i get out of here i won't even do a dinner date for a first date because like i think men at this age now they're trying to be like polite and gentlemanly where they want to like take you to dinner and i'm like i don't want them to feel like they wasted money or anything if it's not a vibe
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
A dinner date, I think it's nice for a second date. First date, I'm like, I want a 45 minute good cap.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
I feel the same way. I'm like, oh, my God, we're really making eye contact.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
No, I don't think that. And I'm not worried about that. I just don't want them to feel like, you know, that they were used. Yes. I don't want them to feel used.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
yeah that's happened that's how i instituted the rule i was like i had one night free from being home from the road and i was so tired but i was like i gotta go date i gotta be like a real life woman and then i go and um after 90 minutes i was just like sos bitch to like lock eyes for the check right went on three hours i was like never again dude just kept ordering tapas
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
You are not in control. You are really trapped.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
You know what? I hate to agree, but I do. Okay. Wow. If you are going with the gender rules, which I do, I don't think a woman should ever pay or split past 30 years old. I think that's ridiculous. A guy split the check, I'm like, you're a pussy. I don't like you. What are you doing? Yeah. I don't want that.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
I can't even help it. It's not even a rule or anything. It's just like I lose attraction. you know what i mean because i'm like i'm spending so much money on my hair and makeup and my goddamn nails and outfits and all this that i don't want to do okay that that see that makes sense yeah he shows up scrunchy armpits split the check
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
I think don't ask a woman on a date if you can't pay for it. I'm going to get so much shit for this.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Or what I've always said, too, as long as it doesn't have to be a really nice restaurant, take her to tacos. I just take out the check.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
i have such the opposite thing as you guys because like i know you guys that your whole move is like every male comic is bringing the girls to the show they're always like can i come to your show i was like absolutely not yeah yeah i invite you to my show right i feel like that's dangerous like if you don't do well like that could be bad or they don't like what you say
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
Also, I'm like a maniac on stage. I'm completely different off stage. I don't want them to see me being Vince McMahon. You know what I mean? And also, I'm not trying to bring a guy with me to sit in the hall at the comic store. Every dude comic clowns me.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
I feel like when I'm married, I'll bring them.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
You have your bank statement or your checking account number.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
I have this bit where I feel like it goes so well until the end where I used to think that men who fell in love with strippers were the dumbest people in the world.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
These men are my brothers. They have wild, open, generous, hopeful, romantic hearts. But then I try and get the end. I talk about how I, and this is a true story. I heard him hit on this really, they didn't know I could hear, this really hot girl at the gym as I was walking out. And I already knew this about him.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
But then I was like, and then I had to go straight to the strip club to be with my brothers.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
and like it hits but i feel like i need a harder right but you also hit on another girl everyone yeah yeah but like you convince yourself that you that they don't yeah you know and like it's true you're paying him yeah so there's a money part too where i i tried to go down that line it didn't really work where i was like i was gonna get you out of here i was gonna get you through school you know but i feel like it didn't hit that's funny that's so funny you telling your friends like no he this guy like
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
I have this. My friends, I have a part in the bit about this. How my friends are like, why would you keep going to someone who says those things? Why would you keep going to someone?
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
yeah but if you guys if you joke machines come up with a tag all right all right maybe also the i love the idea like the lap dance he's like stretching you that's like the same oh yeah no i did have a line too where i was like yeah i thought it was weird he kept telling me to work on my giggles but
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
I was like, this is how men feel. Where they like really believe like the strippers are in love with him.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
That's a perfect A to B. And I was like, I'm so dumb.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
So not to take them to dinner first. Maybe something about them getting wet.
We Might Be Drunk
Ep 202: Kyle Dunnigan & Blair Socci
We have Vulcan Gas in Austin, November 7th. And watch my special on YouTube, please.