Vanessa B. Bonds

No is a complete sentence is my least favorite expression in all of like the self-help literature.

It drives me insane.

And the thing that's funniest to me is, like, yes is a complete sentence.

So, like, if you imagine someone asking you for something and you just say, sure, or yes, I'd be happy to, right?

Like, you don't need any justification.

You don't need to explain why you said yes.

But I don't know anyone who feels comfortable just saying no without any explanation or kind of, you know, way of placating the other person.

Definitely.

I'm such a people pleaser.

It's, yeah.

I guess that's the best test of a people pleaser.

Are you a people pleaser?

And the people pleasers just say yes.

across all these different requests.

It was typically about twice as likely for people to agree to these requests as our participants expected.

One of the best ways I think about a request is essentially someone sort of reaching their hand out to another person.

So it's like, I'm extending my hand and asking for your help.

Or it's, I'm extending my hand and asking you for a date.

Or it's, I'm extending my hand and asking you to join me in this unethical pursuit.

But whatever it is, it's like, I'm extending my hand and asking you to cooperate with me.