Unnamed Caller 3

Hi, Dan. I'm a huge fan of your show, and I'm reaching out for some advice. I'm a West Coast mom of two amazing stepkids, and my youngest is a queer teenager who's struggling to understand sex and dating. I'm worried about how he's going to navigate the world. and I'm looking for ways to help him prepare. When should I have this conversation? What tools do you recommend?

Hi, Dan. I'm a huge fan of your show, and I'm reaching out for some advice. I'm a West Coast mom of two amazing stepkids, and my youngest is a queer teenager who's struggling to understand sex and dating. I'm worried about how he's going to navigate the world. and I'm looking for ways to help him prepare. When should I have this conversation? What tools do you recommend?

How do I approach the conversation around PrEP? Any advice you have would be greatly appreciated.

How do I approach the conversation around PrEP? Any advice you have would be greatly appreciated.

Hey Dan and the youth! I have a question for you about what I found to be a surprising take on orgasms during queer sex. I first ran into it last year and interpreted my experience as an unlucky one-off, but the exact same thing happened to me this week. Both were threesomes with other pansexual queer and or non-binary people like myself. Both times, everyone else orgasmed before me.

Hey Dan and the youth! I have a question for you about what I found to be a surprising take on orgasms during queer sex. I first ran into it last year and interpreted my experience as an unlucky one-off, but the exact same thing happened to me this week. Both were threesomes with other pansexual queer and or non-binary people like myself. Both times, everyone else orgasmed before me.

During the first threesome, one of the people got up to shower right after they and the second person had come. The remaining person switched into wind-down mode, chatting to me about random, non-sex-related things for more than 10 minutes until I awkwardly pointed out that I hadn't been given the opportunity to come.

During the first threesome, one of the people got up to shower right after they and the second person had come. The remaining person switched into wind-down mode, chatting to me about random, non-sex-related things for more than 10 minutes until I awkwardly pointed out that I hadn't been given the opportunity to come.

Something very similar happened during the second threesome with different people. After the second person, who is my partner, had come, the person who had orgasmed first got up to shower while my partner started touching me to get me off. The person who'd left to shower returned 10 minutes later and announced they were heading out.

Something very similar happened during the second threesome with different people. After the second person, who is my partner, had come, the person who had orgasmed first got up to shower while my partner started touching me to get me off. The person who'd left to shower returned 10 minutes later and announced they were heading out.

My partner and I didn't say anything in the moment, partly out of shock. When I later confronted everyone apart from my partner, explaining to them that I was hurt my orgasm didn't seem particularly important to them, I got the exact same response from the penis-halfers in the bunch. Queer sex is about much more than orgasming, and expecting an orgasm is heteronormative.

My partner and I didn't say anything in the moment, partly out of shock. When I later confronted everyone apart from my partner, explaining to them that I was hurt my orgasm didn't seem particularly important to them, I got the exact same response from the penis-halfers in the bunch. Queer sex is about much more than orgasming, and expecting an orgasm is heteronormative.

For the record, I am 100% team de-center orgasms, but my impression during both encounters was that it was only my orgasm that was de-centered. I also find the argument associating orgasms with heteronormativity to be in total bad faith, a weaponizing of queer discourse to perpetuate the orgasm gap, which I would say is actually peak heteronormativity.

For the record, I am 100% team de-center orgasms, but my impression during both encounters was that it was only my orgasm that was de-centered. I also find the argument associating orgasms with heteronormativity to be in total bad faith, a weaponizing of queer discourse to perpetuate the orgasm gap, which I would say is actually peak heteronormativity.

For me, it's not about the orgasm itself, it's about getting curious about our partner's desire or lack thereof to orgasm. So what do you make of all this, Dan? Have you or your listeners seen any queer influencers out there saying stuff like this? I am just finding the copy-paste between the two encounters really uncanny, and I'm wondering if it's coming from known sources.

For me, it's not about the orgasm itself, it's about getting curious about our partner's desire or lack thereof to orgasm. So what do you make of all this, Dan? Have you or your listeners seen any queer influencers out there saying stuff like this? I am just finding the copy-paste between the two encounters really uncanny, and I'm wondering if it's coming from known sources.

Second, do you have any tips about how I might avoid situations like this in the future?

Second, do you have any tips about how I might avoid situations like this in the future?

Given the rather sophisticated queer discourse that the participants in these threesomes were throwing down before we started having sex, I had no reason to believe that they'd essentially leave me the same way that clueless cishet dudes did when I was in my early twenties, covered in cum but not having cum myself.

Given the rather sophisticated queer discourse that the participants in these threesomes were throwing down before we started having sex, I had no reason to believe that they'd essentially leave me the same way that clueless cishet dudes did when I was in my early twenties, covered in cum but not having cum myself.