Trent Shelton
Appearances
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
So often we focus on what we don't have and we let that paralyze us.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And I didn't have that. You know, I didn't have any cameras. I didn't have a team. And so I said, what do I have? Because so often we focus on what we don't have and we let that paralyze us. So for me, I was like, okay, yeah, I don't have a lot of stuff, but what do I have? I got some heart. I got a message. And I got a cell phone. So I picked up my cell phone and I pressed live.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And I know it's so popular now, but back then people weren't going live like that. And I pressed live and I streamed and I would share my heart. Simply as that. I had no idea of like, man, like these are the steps. These are the points. I'm just like, I'm going to press live and share my heart and talk about what I'm currently going through. And that's how I started as far as on the internet.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
Thanks for having me on the podcast. I really appreciate you. But jogging my memory back, ever since I was a young boy, I wanted to be an athlete, whether it be football, basketball, baseball. I have two older brothers, and so they're four and six years older than me. So it's kind of like no choice. As a kid, I wanted to follow in their footsteps, and they were sports addicts.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And a big catalyst in my whole movement, I teach people this to this day. I said, man, you know, people weren't bringing me in to speak. Like I wasn't like, oh, come speak here. Most people, you know, they wait. They wait for people to come to them. But I say, man, you can't be passive. A passive life will pass you by. Get you passed by. So I said, okay, what can I do?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
So I reached out to all my connections in sports. I reached out to teachers. Luckily, I was a good student. Didn't disrespect. I reached out to my old teachers and said, hey, can I come speak to the school? So I would go speak to elementary schools. I would speak to high schools. I would speak anywhere I could. Teams, YMCA, it didn't matter.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
Anywhere there were ears, even on the street corners, like that was facts. In downtown Fort Worth, I would go share my message. And that message started to get around. And so when I would go speak, somebody would be like, hey, can you come speak here? Because I just heard you speak here. Sure.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And the thing that started my first conferences, quote unquote, I didn't have the money to throw on conferences. So I called them live conversations and it gives me chills to this day. I had a lot of money to be able to travel to places. I had enough of a following where, you know, maybe two or three people would show up in the city.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
My very first city was Las Vegas because I put on Facebook at the time, like, how many people do I have in Las Vegas? And like 10 people responded. So I said, cool. Scrapped up some money, flew to Las Vegas. I asked a person that was on my Facebook, hey, does anybody have like a location I can borrow, a library, like a classroom?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
A woman hit me up and said, hey, my uncle has a classroom you can use. I said, cool. I get this classroom and I invite everybody for free. We sit down, we have these live conversations. I bring some merchandise to sell to cover my flight, cover my hotel. And I did this in probably 10 or 11 cities. The next year I came back, it would grow by 20. It would grow by 30. Two years, it'd be 100 people.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
But I tell people I started by going to libraries anywhere free that I can have these small little small groups, quote unquote, I call them live conversations, so people can experience who I was and see this was a real thing. And I put in that legwork to be able to be who I am today.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
Yeah. I mean, sometimes I pinch myself, right? Where it's like, man, how did I get here? I never get used to it because I know where I started. But yeah, on that stage, you know, I always, I always want to show people because like you say, you can come on somebody's like, if you watch me now, you're probably like, oh, you always had a gift or you just lucked into or whatever.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And my whole childhood, I grew up in New Orleans, and it was great. Both of my parents were supportive, still are. My mom has passed, but my dad is still supportive to this day. I had good role models in my life, and Sports was my everything. So at a young age, I had that dream. Like I had a vision, I had an intention, and I knew what I wanted to do with my life.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And I love to show people where I started. I love to show people everything that I've been through because that's the relatable piece that people can understand. Say, oh man, if Trent started here or if this person started here, then I could do it too. I think in social media era, we show just perfection. We show where we're at.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And while that's inspiring, what's relatable and connective is actually showing people how you got there. And so I always honor that anywhere I'm at to talk about how I got to the place that I got to.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
So I'm super excited that you actually connected with that because before that event, a little bit backstory, like I wasn't sure because I don't share it at every event, but something told me like, man, just share this part, like show people like the journey a little bit. I'm glad I did. So thank you.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
So rehab time, you know, the words came to me in 2009 and I'm not sure exactly like why that popped up. I'm thinking that it was sports. It was a little bit of Rihanna at the time, like she had that big song checking into rehab. And I think for me, rehab meant in sports, putting the strength back into a weakness.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
So obviously, you know, you get hurt, you go to rehab and you got to come back, you know, and usually you come back stronger than what you were if you do it right. And so I was like, man, that's like a life thing. So rehab time for me at first meant just going to the gym. It meant getting my body right, to set myself up for this football stuff. But little did I know it was bigger than that, right?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
It meant mind, body, and soul. We all have something we can rehab. We all have something we can put to strength, make stronger, make better. That was the journey of it. And it started there. And the genius thing that I tell people I did that, I mean, today it's really not that genius, but I built community. I wasn't just interested in having a follow. I wanted just people to follow me.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
I want to turn my followers into family, right? I wanted people to become true supporters and not just believe in me, but believe in Rehab Time. And it gives me chills to see people embrace Rehab Time, how I embrace it and what Rehab Time did for me is doing for other people. And so I started calling my community rehabbers. every video you hear, it's like, hey, rehabbers across the world.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And it seems so simple now, but it's a place where people can feel a part of. And that movement grew over, you know, obviously the last 15 years, but it really boomed in 2015, 2016, when I was doing my own tours and going out there and giving people a place to wear their merchandise and just a whole community. That's what made it special.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
Because I don't know when there's 16 million, I don't know that many people. I don't know people across the world. It's the people that Share the videos. It's the people that show up in the comments. It's the people that really believe in me because they've experienced my authenticity and they know how much this means to me. That takes us across the world. So that's rehab time.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
We ended up moving to Texas when I was in seventh grade. And if you know anything about Texas, like sports is religion out here. So being out in Texas, it really helped me elevate my chances of being a professional athlete. My childhood was basically that, you know, it was a great childhood, but wrapped around sports.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
You know, it's me, but it's really the rehabbers that make it go.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
Yeah. So if I can give you like a short version of it. First, I have five words that I live by. I say this in the mirror every single day. Scientifically, it is proven to make you take ownership and it will change your life. And those five words is it all starts with you. And I look in the mirror every single day and tell myself, I don't say me because I'm looking at the better version of myself.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
I'm saying it all starts with you. That sentence is a battle cry, is a champion plea to take ownership over your life. So if you want to turn your pain into your power, you first have to acknowledge that you're in pain. Self-awareness to me is one of the greatest gifts because some people are not even aware of it. So you first have to have self-awareness.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
The second thing is that you have to make a choice. I always tell people you're a choice away from a new beginning. Like literally right now, you can make a choice to stop it. You can make a choice to start it. You can make a choice to continue it, but you're a choice away from a new beginning. You don't need a new year. You don't need a new month. All you need is a new moment.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And so making that choice and making that choice real to say, you know, I don't even know where I'm going because a lot of people stay in pain because number one, their condition, even just neurological pathways, that's a whole deep thing, chemically bonded to things. But a lot of people stay in pain because they don't know where they want to go.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And I tell people, I didn't know I would be here, but I knew where I didn't want to stay. So don't let the journey of how keep you in a place that you don't want to be in no more. And so you got to make that choice. Say, you know what? I don't know where I'm going, but I just know. I'm packing up my bags and I'm not staying here. Like I'll figure it out.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And then once you make that choice, you have to find a commitment. So I like to say you're a choice away from a new beginning, your commitment away from a new life. So what's that commitment going to be, right? It might be the promise that I made to my friend, right? That keeps me anchored. My son, whatever it is, you got to find a deep rooted reason on why you're going to change.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
I want to be the first one in my family to be a millionaire. I want to change the financial struggles we had in our family. I want to be the first tech person. I want to break odds. I want to whatever it is. Like for me in football, I want to be the first one in my town, in my city, in my school to show people that you can make it, that it's possible. So whatever it is, you have that commitment.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And the last piece of this is consistency. Consistency is the superpower that changes everything. I think consistency is more important than most things in this world. If you're consistent, you'll be reliable. You're reliable, you'll be trustworthy. And if you become trustworthy, you'll be a go-to person and you will change your life through consistency.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And consistency, just to end with this, is most people say, how do I stay consistent? I'm not consistent. And I talk about this on stage all the time. Like, you are consistent. Like, you're consistent at doing the wrong thing or the right thing. You're a consistent human being. But you'll stay more consistent when you understand how much it's costing you not to be consistent.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And so what's the opportunity cost? Because if you look at anything in your life, the things you're consistent at, even the things that you, you might work a job that you hate, but you go there every single day because you know if I don't show up, it's going to cost me my paycheck. You understand what it costs you. So what does it cost you not to step into your best life?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
What does it cost you not to step into your dreams? What does it cost you to stay into this pain? And when you get that understanding, I believe it can change your life.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
Yeah, so with Protect Your Peace, which are words that I've been saying for so long, and peace is something you'll never experience if you keep a lot of things you can't control to control you. So this book is about three pillars of what protect your peace. Protect your energy, protect your mind, protect your soul. It's about not allowing the external things to control your internal self.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
I think the support of my parents, like knowing that I was loved regardless, of course they were going to push me to be the best, but they didn't love me just because I scored a touchdown. I had a good or bad game. Their love didn't change.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
So I walk them through. man, practice of knowing your worth, of internal alignment, of fulfillment, of trusting your vision, all these different practices that really help you become more soul centered. So when the storm, because I'm not the guy that's going to tell you the storm isn't going to come. I don't care where you live, Hollywood or the hood. It don't matter. Like the storm is coming.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
Like no matter your zip code, So I'm not the guy that's going to say the storm isn't going to come, but I am going to tell you that your perspective towards the storm matters. So when the storm comes, you can be like, oh, it's a storm. Or you can say, okay, what is this storm trying to teach me? And also, I do know that nothing lasts forever. So my peace is telling me this storm is going to pass.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And my peace is so strong that even maybe so, I can go out and dance in the rain because I understand that the storm actually brings goodness to my life too. So that book will really help you start to shift your perspective from your prison to your power.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
A thousand percent. I love you said that, you know, I'm a big component of, if anybody would call me a coach, I always tell people I'm a self-worth coach, you know, first and foremost. And knowing your worth, demanding your worth is so critical.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And so once I knew that I didn't have to win them over by stats or by having a good game and just me being myself was enough, it made me want to repay my parents back because my parents, they were the type of parents, even to this day, my dad, like when my kids, like he travels and he supports and, um,
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And I teach on this so much because I know a big part of my life, I allowed outside things to tell me my worth and it put me in situations that made me feel worthless. And so being able to have confidence in self to say, hey, this is my worth and I'm not budging on it, I think is one of the biggest standards you can have to live a phenomenal life.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
I go through a lot of challenges. I'm glad you asked this question. My biggest challenge right now was two. One, you know, I lost my mother three years ago. Oh, going on three years. And that's always going to be a challenge. That was my best friend. So that's always tough dealing with that. I have my moments where I'm good. I have my moments where feels like it's not real, you know?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
So that's always tough. And then just trying to balance the expectations of the external, of the world, you know, that's placed upon me.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And you know, I mean, being a person that's in position where you have so many things pulling at you, so many opportunities, and you're trying to still not lose yourself in those moments and still have your peace and still focus on what matters and finding that, quote unquote, I like to say harmony in it. Balance and harmony, yeah, it's like, man, that's always a challenge, you know?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
Growth comes with growing pain. We pray for growth, but... When we get the growing pains, like, man, I don't want the growing pains, but it's a part of the process. So that's always a challenge with me thinking about what's next and connecting certain things in my life.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
Sometimes you have to lose what you want to do to walk into what's really meant for you. You know, I was three years into the NFL and they bring me as, hey, you know, we got to bring this guy in. We love you, but we can't keep you. And now, like, what do I do with my life? Most people say, how do I stay consistent? I'm not consistent. You are consistent.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
You're right. I have two sides of Trent. I have the protect your peace Trent that is very introverted, that's cool with going to the cabin and not talking to nobody, phone on, do not disturb. And then I have what I call the live legendary Trent, the athlete side. It's like, let's get it. Let's go. Boom, boom, boom. So finding that harmony between the two, sometimes it's a struggle.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
They were the type of parents that when I looked in the stands, I saw my mom and dad, no matter where the game was. And so my whole motivation, to be honest with you, was to be able to give them a gift. I'm not paying for my college to say, hey, I got a full athletic scholarship or even academic. You know, I took care of my grades. I was a straight A student.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
I have my seasons. I think right now I'm in the season of more protect your peace with the holidays, but trying to find that because One thing I will just share that's helped me, because I always used to think that, and I talk about this in the book, even when I say no, like it's a good opportunity, but I can't do it.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
I used to feel guilty because I would think that I'm missing out on the opportunity. It's almost like FOMO, right? I'm like missing out on something that I could have had. And so I've given myself permission and I tell myself like, you're not missing out. You'll never miss out on the opportunity that's truly meant for your life unless you just, you know, just being a dumbo about it.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
But it's really helped me be able to say no, be able to disconnect and just trust myself to know like the right opportunity to come. If you need peace right now, if you need to take a week off, you need to disconnect for a month.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
whatever, make sure you're taking care of you because there's too many people that depend on you being the best you than for you to kill yourself chasing something that even when you catch it, your pride is not going to be fulfilled anyway.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
Yes, it changed me. And I don't even know if I know how it changed me, you know, but it did change me. And I think it did, which you probably can relate to. I feel like there's a hole inside of me that, you know, nothing can fill. I mean, it's a part of grief because we love hard, but also it changed me in a positive way where it made me more intentional.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
It made me realize that forever comes with an expiration, that you don't have forever with your kids, you don't have forever with your spouse. You don't have forever with your business. And it made me be more intentional with my life. It made me ask the question, like, how do I want to live? How do I want to show up in my relationships? Have I said everything I wanted to say to somebody?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
Because I don't want to live in regret. I want to be able to rejoice. And so when my mother passed, I rejoiced. And of course I was sad, but I know that I gave my mom everything. We were tight. So I didn't have to live in regret. And I wish I would have said this. I wish I would have did this. It was more, man, I'm glad I did this with my mom.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And so she just brought more attention to my life through her passing for sure.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
So that was my motivation and drive throughout my whole life to be able to give my parents the gift of saying you supported me in my dream. So I want to give you a gift back to let you know you don't have to pay for my school.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
I would say keep trusting what's pure to your soul because those around you that's trying to pull you from that have no idea what's meant for your life.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And the reason I say that is because when I started this journey, right, a lot of people around me really kept me from, and of course I gave them the permission, but they kept me from really walking into what I felt like what I was meant to do because I was so interested in opinions and so interested in feedback. And so I just realized like, They didn't create you. So don't let them control you.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And I would tell my younger self that to just trust your gut and trust what you know is pure.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
Yeah, you have to realize that most people are trying to protect you. And you have to understand that it's their perception that they're putting on you. While they mean well, you can't allow somebody else's perception to control your life because they didn't create you. I know your parents might have birthed you, but they didn't create you. Your creator created you.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And the plan that's for your life, nobody understands. So I talk about in the book, trust your vision. And what most people do, they depend on vision validation. And so when they have a vision, they have an idea, most people will go to the people closest to them to share that because it's like familiarity. And those people close to them, they're not a visionary. They're not a dreamer.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
They're not somebody who really understands like how to make it happen. They're probably going to, I use this analogy, they're going to put on your set of lenses that's been specifically prescribed to you. They're going to look through them and say, oh my gosh, I can't see anything. Just like if I had eyeglasses that were mine and you put them on, you're like, I can't see.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And that's what people do. And what happens is, is we allow them not being able to see what we saw, what we see is clear, discourage us. And instead of taking our glasses back and putting them on and said, okay, well, you know, it's not meant for you to see it. Maybe one day when I achieve it, you'll understand it. We never put our glasses back on.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And most people live their whole entire life with the glasses that were meant for them. They live within their pocket. They walk around this whole life unclear. And so I would tell you, like, it's yours. Everybody's not going to see it. Some people are too close to you to see your greatness. So just ask yourself this simple question, and I'll end with this. Have they done it?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
So everybody told me I couldn't make it to the NFL. Guess what? They never made it. Everybody told me I couldn't be a speaker. They never were speakers. So only take advice from people who have been successful at what you're trying to achieve.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
At Trent Shelton, all social media sites from Facebook to TikTok to all of them. And the book, you can go to trentshelton.com. Anywhere on Amazon, obviously, audiobook is available. But trentshelton.com, if you ever forget anything, we'll have all the information on there.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
Yeah, I mean, college was great. College was probably the funnest time of my life. We struggled a little bit as a team, but I was able to excel as an individual at Baylor. And I was put in position to make it to the NFL. So my college career went great. I mean, as a team, I would like for us to win more. but I built a lot of great brotherhoods and relationships.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And you learn there what brotherhood really is. You're seeing your guys. You learn team. I bring this into the workspace today. You learn sacrifice. You learn commitment. You learn that it's bigger than you. And college really taught me that because, I mean, you're living, you're breathing sports. And what you do affects your teammate, affects your brother.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
If you don't take care of your business, then your brother is going to be affected by that. So It taught a different level of discipline and sacrifice that I felt like nothing else in my life had taught me up to that point.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
Yeah, that was probably the worst day of my life up to that point. You know, I was three years into the NFL. My NFL career, it was the typical one. It's not the one that's glorified because you just think people make millions of dollars. But there are a lot of guys that every day they're fighting to stay alive. You know, they're fighting for a job.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And there were so many times where my mental health suffered because I didn't know if I was going to get fired that day. There's been days where I come off the practice field having a great practice, phenomenal practice. And they bring me and say, hey, you know, we got to bring this guy in. We love you, but we can't keep you. And now, like, what do I do with my life?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And my final straw was, it wasn't actually the end of my career. It was the year before when I was with the Seattle Seahawks. And I had this moment where, I don't want to go into the whole story, but I was actually in Dallas at home and I was released at that point. They called me, told me to come back. I packed my bags.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
You're consistent at doing the wrong thing or the right thing. You're a consistent human being. But you'll stay more consistent when you understand how much it's costing you not to be consistent. You never will fix what you're not willing to face. Losing one of my best friends in my life, the suicide was the reason that I started Rehab Time.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
I rushed to the airport and they gave me another call before I get on the plane. Say, hey, Trent, have you left yet? I'm like, no, I haven't left yet. Like, good, because we changed our mind. That was the day where I was like, OK, man, I can't take this no more. Like, this isn't how I want to live. Like so much anxiety and so much excitement and somebody controlling my life just like that.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
End up playing for another year. But I knew in that next year that this wasn't what I wanted to do anymore. It was no love for the game anymore.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
As humans, and we're programmed this way, and whatever you do, more than likely you put your all into something, your identity tends to be wrapped around that. It could be a relationship. It could be a job. And for me at the time, it was a sport. And so for, what, 16, 18 years of my life, I was this football player, this athlete.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And so now the first moment in my life that's since I've been five years old, now I don't have that identity anymore. So what do I do in my life? I have no idea who I am. I never worked a nine-to-five. You can say you went to school to study, but you really went to school so you can make it to the NFL. And so I have no idea what to do with my life. And I was lost.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
You know, I remember looking at my all my trophies and I was at my parents' house because I still live with them when I came back home in my room. And I was just looking around like, man, is my life over? And you see so many athletes struggle with that. Not just athletes, but so many people that's wrapped their life around something. When that ends, it's like, man, what do I do with my life?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And that was the first moment where I felt lost, where I felt insecure, where I felt I didn't have a purpose. I felt, do I even matter?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
Well, I had to face my reality. I think that's the first step. You never will fix what you're not willing to face. I like to say you'll never win your war by running from your battles. And so in my rehab process, I have a three-part process. And the first process is reality. I had to face that, hey, this is over. It's done. But it doesn't mean that your life has to be over.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And sometimes you have to lose certain things to gain better things. Sometimes you have to lose what you want to do to walk into what's really meant for you. And it's easy to say that obviously on this side of it, but these were things I was telling myself. And there was this little inkling of hope. I'm talking about like spectacle, like hope.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
When I was in that room, I said, man, like maybe my life is just beginning. Maybe this had to end so I can walk into my purpose. And I held on to that hope and The thing I would tell people listening to this right now is who you are is what you are. I mean, who you are is who you are. You know, we talk about purpose. I get this question a lot, Trent, how do I find my purpose?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And I tell people, stop searching for it because the world doesn't have your purpose. A job doesn't have your purpose. A title doesn't have your purpose. A financial piece of paper doesn't have your purpose. You are the purpose. And when you understand that, you realize that you can take your life.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
I have five words that I live by. Scientifically, it is proven to make you take ownership and it will change your life. And those five words is...
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
Just as well I was great in sports, the same characteristics I had in that sport, I can take that into the workplace. I can take that into my purpose. I can take that into my company because it's who I am. That's just what I did. And so I would just tell everybody listening to this right now, I know it's hard when something ends, but you still have you. You still have your mindset.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
You still have your characteristics. You still have your values. You still have the great things about yourself that you just got to now figure, how do I now adjust? How do I now rearrange certain things to put into something else? And I think when you realize that if you can be successful at something, I truly feel like you can be successful at something else also.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
Tristan's now 16, which is crazy. You know, Tristan wasn't, and he knows this, you know, it wasn't like Tristan was planned at the time when me and Maria, me and Maria were dating. Now Maria's my wife, but it was a surprise. I was like, man, like, okay, I'm not ready for this, but it's here, right? I can't run from this reality at all.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And the first time I held Tristan, and most parents have this moment, but This was, man, the first time I held him, I was like, it's bigger than me. And for the first time in my life, I really, really truly felt that I'm responsible for someone else. And so I had to go inward and ask myself this simple question. Do I want Tristan to follow in my footsteps?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And to be totally transparent, my answer was no at that time. If I was able to give Tristan the current life that I was living in and say, hey, here's your life, I wouldn't be proud of that. And so Tristan always tell people is the reason that I became a better man. It's the reason that I say, okay, I got to make sure I leave a better path for him. And he became my why. He became my reason.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
I even tattooed his face on me. He still brings up to this day. A tattoo, we get, we argue and he's like, you have, you have my tattoo. So that's his favorite thing to go to. He gave me a bigger sense of meaning, a bigger sense of purpose in my life that held me accountable to the things that I said I wanted to do.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
He was the push for me to really make it happen and build a better life for my family.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
Yes, 2010. You know, I said Tristan was the reason I became a better man. In this moment, losing my college roommate, you know, one of my best friends in my life. The suicide was the reason that I walked into my purpose, was the reason that I started Rehab Time, was the reason I stayed, like really made it a real thing.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
You know, he killed himself and he killed himself because he lost some things in his life. He lost a relationship. He lost a dream and he felt like life wasn't worth living. And it was my commitment to him I don't even say the word promise. It was a commitment because commitment doesn't work off convenience. Commitment is loyal despite what's going on.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
It was my commitment to him to live the rest of my life being what y'all see today. Helping people with their self-worth. Helping people know that despite what you lose, who you lose, you don't have to lose yourself and there's more to your life.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
That's why every stage I ever speak on, you know, that message is always echoed because it was my promise to him in his casket, my commitment to him in his casket that I'm going to be this person. And I want people to understand, like, this was not like what y'all see today. This is me being a speaker and being, you know, all the things.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
This was a very big commitment because this wasn't who I was. I'm a quiet person by nature. You know, I wasn't a speaker. I wasn't all these things. And so for me to walk into this and make that commitment, it was huge. I was walking to a new beginning, an unknown territory, but I found a sense of purpose that I knew that was bigger than me.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
That's how Rehab Time and that's how my journey really started in 2010.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
Yeah, in a sense. It made me look at my life. It made me sit down with our other roommate. We were all three really close friends, and me and my current best friend, we sat down at that time and asked ourselves, what are we doing? Forever comes with an expiration date. You don't have time, even though you do have time. And it's like, how do we want to spend this time?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And if we have two years, like what would we do right now? At that moment, I can honestly say that I would die with incompletion, right? I would die with dreams, with books, with all the things inside of me and things I never did, creations. And I made a commitment to myself at that moment. You know what? I'm going to go do all the things. All the ideas, I'm going to give it to the world.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And that's what created what people see now. It was just me honoring my ideas. Me honoring my ideas of going live back then when it wasn't the popular thing to do back in 2010. Me doing the spoken words that the people know. Me even writing books at that time. Me speaking. That was just me honoring my ideas. I didn't know it would turn into what it turned into today.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
And to be real with you, it wasn't even a thing of helping people. It was really helping myself. It was my therapy, my way of healing. And when I found out that, man, my transparency led to other people's transformation. So I said, oh, the things that I'm going through, other people are going through it too? Let me talk more about these things. And that led me down the path of changing lives.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power | E76
This device right here changed my life, this cell phone. You know, at the beginning in personal development, there really wasn't a lot of example. It was great people, by the way, but it wasn't a lot of example where I could be like, oh, I see me in this person or I see me doing this. And a lot of it was professional. You know, a lot of it was you got to have the cameras and everything.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
You will always be not enough for the wrong people or person. We build relationships these days, I feel like, off of the weakest things. And no wonder when we go through trials and tribulations, things crumble. If you don't demand your worth, the world will tell you what your worth is. The last time I checked, that's not a good price tag and they usually put you on wholesale.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
So the last, what, three years, I'm good this year, but 2021, 2022 was some of the worst years of my life. You know, I mean, my mom in that whole situation and then Maya situation a few days later, then my grandmother gone.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And then my dad's best friend who was a mentor in my life a few months later, then the next year I ruptured my Achilles and I always had to get my leg, like my foot literally almost cut off. And it's back to back to back to back to back. And yeah, I questioned God. Yeah, I was like, what's going on? Yeah, I had to still be this person for the world. But I gave myself grace to say, you know what?
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
It doesn't make me less. It doesn't make me less of a human. It doesn't make me less of an expert. It doesn't make me less of a brand because I'm dealing with things. Actually, this strengthens it. And I had so many people say, man, Trent, because of you these last three years, you have impacted me more than anything over the last 12 years that you've been doing this. So that's why I do it.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
First thing I want to say is that's not your people then.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
You will always be not enough for the wrong people or person. Always. And I know sometimes that's hard because we want to fit in. We want to blend in. But you got to accept that certain doors have to close. And when you're your authentic self, some doors will close. Friends, family, peers, it closes. And you can't. I know it hurts, but you got to realize there's better doors for your life.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And I know that's easier said than done. I get it, because I was there and I still go there at times. But I trust to say, okay, if a no changes the relationship, then that relationship isn't for me. If me being my authentic self changes the relationship, then that relationship isn't for me. And yes, it still hurts. Yes, I want these people in my life. Yes, I want to be enough.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
But I learned this a long time ago, Jamie. There's no amount of perfection you can give to a person that's committed to misunderstanding you. You'll never be perfect for the wrong people. Even your perfection will be not enough. So at some point they're gonna find the real you. And so my biggest fear is people fall in love with this version of Trent Shelton that's not authentic.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Solitude is necessary. Sometimes you have to learn how to be by yourself so God can show you what being perfectly loved feels like. And what happens if you try to save a person drowning, they're so frantic, they will pull you under and both people will drown. And so you have to trust that. Some people have to learn how to save themselves. I refuse to lose myself trying to change people.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
They love me for something that I'm truly not. I don't want to do that because at some point, the real me is going to show up. The messy me, the mistake me, the failure me is going to show up and be like, wait a minute, who's this guy? And so if you can't love me at my worst, doesn't mean that you allow me to live a life that That you know that I shouldn't be living, right?
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
But if you can't love me at my worst, then I don't want you loving me at my best. Because the truth is, every human being, and I wanted to say this earlier about going to church and being judged, never let the imperfections of man or woman keep you from the perfection of God.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Never let the imperfections of man or woman, this world, et cetera, keep you from the perfection of God. And that has helped me so much in my life because when I'm getting judged, I'm like, oh, that's an imperfect person judging me. I feel sorry for them that they're projecting their flaws and insecurities on me. And so again, if I'm not enough for you, great. Thank you. Release me.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Let me go on to something else. And When we're tethered and connected to something, I talk about this in the book, you got to disconnect often. The things that you're connected to are powering you. So some of us, we're connected to stress, we're connected to all these things, and we're connected to, man, our insecurities. And I say, cut the connection. Pull the plug. Disconnect from those things.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And it's hard to go pull the plug when you realize that, man, once I pull the plug, I'm freeing myself. And there's nothing better in this world, Jamie, than... being able to be you and being accepted for you. So I know doors have closed because I'm not a version of professional that maybe the world doesn't want, but I'm okay with that.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
I know what God has called me to do, what he wants me to do, and I'm at peace with that. I can sleep at night. I'm okay. I can lay my head down and say, you know what? I am the best version of myself. I might not be them, they, him or her, but I'm me. And I'm okay with that. And so I think it takes time to be able to build that confidence.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
But once you free yourself from those things and you experience the freedom of fully being yourself and people fully loving you for yourself, you'll never go back to being something that you're not to please them. So that's what I would say.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Yeah. So number one, like, If you don't want to be hated on, and there's a beautiful quote, I'm butchering it, but say nothing, be nothing, do nothing. If you don't want any type of judgment or anything. So at least I look at somebody hating on you as you're getting attention. And you have to understand this. Some people aren't haters, they're confused supporters.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And some of us, we can't keep peace in our life because we spend our whole entire life trying to change people. And people aren't going to change until they're ready to change. That's a big aha moment. So I want to tell everybody, listen to this, man. Like, stop losing yourself trying to please strangers on the internet.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And what I mean by this, when you look at the word hate, it's such a strong word, but you don't pay attention to things that you hate. Certain foods like ranch dressing, I don't pay attention to ranch because I hate it. When I'm in the salad bar line, I don't even look at the ranch, right? Because I hate it. You don't pay attention to things that you hate.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
So if somebody is following your page, if somebody knows your every move, if somebody is making up a fake profile, right? After you block one profile, that is not hate. That's admiration. They just have pride and ego. So it might be a little bit of jealousy and envy there, but actually... They really support you. And in these days, I would just tell you this.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
If somebody's hating on you, let it be. Maybe you restrict them on Instagram, but they're adding to your engagement. They're actually helping you. So the more you get out of, oh, this is about me and stop taking it personal. It's a them thing. I've never met a happy hater. Have you? Mm-mm.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
I've never met somebody who is happy with their life and loving their life, worried about somebody else and what they're doing. So just understand they're paying you attention. At least you're doing something that's worth attention. So keep doing it.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
I definitely can identify with my introverted self. So it's hard because I'm not the guy that's gonna, you know, I'm not the guy that's gonna start conversation. Like I'm just, I'm laid back, I'm chilled. So I understand. How somebody can feel like, man, if I lose these friends that I know aren't my friends, then I'm not going to have anybody in my life. And I just got to be real.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Sometimes the road is lonely. Sometimes I only like to say isolation, but solitude is necessary. Sometimes you have to learn how to be by yourself so God can show you what being perfectly loved feels like. I've learned how to love myself at my rock bottom. When all my friends left, not all of them, because some might be listening, a few was there, but I learned how to love myself.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
When I lost my career, when I lost the beautiful things that surrounded my life, I lost a lot of people that I did things for. And so the thing that I would tell the person listening to this or watching this is, With the people around you, number one, would you trade places with them? Not just financially, but like mindset-wise. Mindsets are contagious.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
So if I don't want to trade a mindset with you, I don't want to trade a life with you, not talking about the things, but who you are at your core, your core character, if I don't want to trade that with you, why are you around? And everybody around you isn't bad, but everybody around you isn't good for your journey. And so you have to be able to
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
i don't know if i know a single person who doesn't struggle with this i'm worthy because of how god created me and sees me not how this world views me not by a blue check mark not by six 16 million people following me online i was already worthy before birth just like you i was given worth at my birth i was given worth at my birth when i talk about being guided
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
I'm gonna say cut people off when they handed you the scissors. So when somebody keeps on disrespecting you, you set boundaries and they disrespect your boundaries over and over and over, they've handed you the scissors. So you might have to cut the relationship off or don't complain about the things you aren't willing to change. And so for me in my life, I had to go up a mountain.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
I was just in, where is that place? I wasn't skiing because I can't ski, Flagstaff. I was in Arizona at what is called Snowbowl. And we were driving up the mountain. At the base of the mountain, it was no snow. So I'm driving like, how are people skiing? But as we got higher, it got colder. snow was there, it got less crowded. And it reminded me of hiking mountains.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Everybody at the base of the mountain is crowded. But the higher you go, the lonelier it gets. The higher you go, the colder it gets. And so for some of you, it's getting colder in your life because you're going higher.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
For some of you, it's getting a little bit lonely in your life because people who started with you aren't gonna have the perseverance, the grind, the work ethic, the faith to finish with you. And the journey will always reveal what's real and who's real in your life. And so it doesn't make them bad, but everybody isn't meant to go with you.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And that breaks my heart because it's people I cared about. It's people I've tried to help. You have to learn how to let people go because I've tried to help people so much. And my dad told me this. He said, Trent, people will bring you down fast and you can bring them up. I know you want to. Yeah. Woo! I know you want to save people. That's not your job, bro. Stop playing God.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
You're not there to save people. Because I don't know if you ever... I've almost drowned before in real life. And what happens if you try to save a person drowning, they're so frantic, they will pull you under and both people will drown. And so you have to trust that some people have to learn how to save themselves. I'm all for throwing out... The buoy. I'm all for throwing out the life jacket.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
But at some point, you have to learn how to do for yourself because I refuse to lose myself trying to change people. And some of us, we can't keep peace in our life because we spend our whole entire life trying to change people. And people aren't going to change until they're ready to change. So for me, my whole thing is here you go, God. It's yours. Here you go.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
This person that I believe so much in that I'm giving all the advice and I know you probably, I know you can relate all the advice and they're not taking it. Here you go, God. This person that I want to help And they don't want to be helped. Here you go, God. And I hand them over to God and it gives more peace in my soul.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
So that has helped me tremendously in this journey because I care so much about people and I don't want to feel guilty for not doing the things that they want to appreciate no more.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
For sure. Change is an inside job.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
She is my sister.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Absolutely.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And on that journey, just to add this, as you're climbing that mountain or going on that journey, you will meet like mindsets.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
They might not look like how you think them. Look, I have friends in my life that some are friends and peers. I'm like, hey, how did this connection even happen? Like we're totally different lifestyles. And but you you realize like mindsets will always find. So as you go on your journey, it might be a little bit lonely at first.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
But I promise you, as you keep moving forward, you will find your people. But you just got to stay true to the path.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Do you feel that started a war within yourself?
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
I'm a hundred percent with you with that.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Yeah. It started, it starts, there's a beautiful quote and it's a rapper named Nipsey Hussle rest in peace. And I don't know if it's his quote, but he said, talk about this in the book. He said, would you rather be at peace with yourself and at war with the world? Or would you rather be at war with yourself and at peace with the world? And every time you're choosing them over you,
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
by not cutting things off or firing somebody that you know needs to be fired, you start a war within yourself. Every time you say yes, when you wanna say no, and you need to say no, you're starting a war within yourself. So I got tired of starting wars within myself. And one of my hardest things was speaking my peace.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And my dad said, Trent, if you don't speak your peace, how can you protect your peace? And I said, wow, you're right. And so I've chose to be at peace with myself. And no matter what comes with that, sometimes it comes with, you know, worry and guilt because not to kind of fast forward, but the main principle in the book or number one is set boundaries.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And a lot of us don't set boundaries because of two reasons. We worry. or we have guilt. We worry what people are gonna say, we worry about the rebuttal, or we have guilt that I'm leaving this person behind, or I should always be there for them. So we don't set boundaries.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
But I like to always say, and this changed my life when it came to protecting my pieces, boundaries aren't walls, boundaries are bridges. Most people think boundaries are this wall that keeps things out. No, boundaries are there to let the right things in. And so, yes, I've had to set boundaries. They only become walls when somebody disrespects it over and over and over again.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Then that boundary becomes a wall. I can't allow you access in my life or I can't be around this environment because it's toxic. So I would ask the person that's listening to this is like, if you want peace in your life or what you need in your life, what boundary do you need to set? What bridge do you need to set that's going to lead you to what you need?
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And so that's helped me so much by saying one of my main principles is I am going to keep peace in my life and I'm not gonna start a war within myself. And I'm not gonna worry about who feels a certain way. I'm not gonna worry about the private conversation and that'll become public information and the talks behind the backs and oh, Trent's like this.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And I'm not worried about that no more because I'm choosing to keep my peace because a life without peace is nothing. And so, yeah, I wanted to share that because I know a lot of people are starting wars within themselves.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
They're carrying these internal battles and wars and they're driving themselves crazy, stressed out, burnt out, depression, because they won't say their peace or they won't set that boundary.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Absolutely. I think a lot of people are afraid, Jamie, to let people down.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Well, you should be afraid to let the most important person down in your life is yourself. And so every time you are choosing not to set a boundary or not to say no, or even say yes on the flip side, you might need to say yes to something else. And you're so afraid to let people down, you're letting yourself down. Yeah.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
over and over and you get to that point where that war inside you becomes stress, you become disconnected, you become, you lose the vibrancy of life. And it's like, man, and I'm gonna say this, and this is kind of a curve ball, but I talked about this the other day on my social media, because the thing that I see too with social, it's not even like the people around you.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Like some of us, we don't wanna let down strangers on the internet. And I literally posted this the other day. I said, the people that you don't want to let down, the people you're trying to smile for the camera, die behind the scenes or whatever it is, those people will not be at your funeral. And losing mom, like I got to see the people that she kept wars for wasn't there. Yeah.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Wasn't bringing flowers to her grave. So I'm like, okay, like I get it now. And I'm not saying everybody who you're starting a war with in yourself is not going to support you or be there for you. But I saw that. And so I'm like, I'm not living for to please. I call in the book professional people pleasers. That's what we are. Triple P's. We want to please.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And a lot of pleasing comes from the desire. We put our worth in being needed so much. And we don't feel like we're pleasing people. Oh, I'm not needed. So if I'm not needed, I don't have value. And so for me, I've learned how to start with myself. And I'm not trying to make this a selfish thing, but if I'm not giving myself what I need, how can I be the greatest self for those that need me to be?
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
How can I be the greatest self for my kids, for my wife, for my community? So I want to tell everybody, listen to this, man. Stop losing yourself trying to please strangers on the internet. trying to please people who literally are going to just jump on the next bandwagon. We've seen this over and over.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Once you stop being hot, once you stop giving them what they need, they're going to go to the next thing. And so I realized that from football, I've seen it. So when I got into this space, I'm like, I appreciate the love, but I know the love is circumstantial. Once I stop giving you what I need and I get it, it's the world, you're going to move on to the next thing.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
So you think I'm going to start a war within myself and lose myself for that? No. I'm okay with losing followers. I'm okay with people saying, oh, I don't feel, I'm okay with that. My worth is not in people's opinions. I was given worth at birth just like you by God. So I'm worthy. Pun intended.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
I'm worthy because of how God created me and sees me, not how this world views me, not by a blue check mark, not by 16 million people following me online. I was already worthy before birth, just like you. God set you apart. It's in scripture. So that's where I've gotten my confidence from in my life to no longer start a war within myself. It's not worth it.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
I was given worth at my birth. I was given worth at my birth.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Absolutely. Yeah, I look back on my life and I realize, my past through football really was to prepare me for this and show me like what's really real. You know, I always say this and it seems kind of harsh. I would say real situations expose fake things in your life or people in your life.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And so I was able to see, oh, the majority of people in this world, and this is just us in general, but the majority of people in this world sometimes only loves you because of what's around you. Do you love me for me? And if I don't have a consensus yes, then I put you in the place where I feel like you need to be in my life.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And I think a lot of times what we do, Jamie, is we put unfair expectations on people. We give people titles that they don't deserve. We give people the title of a friend. We give people the title of all these things when they haven't shown or proved it. And so I think that's where we mess up. Even on social media, like, this is my family.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And I have the rehabbers across the world, and I appreciate them. But we make these friends, or they really care about me. And besides liking what you do for them, and I know it's a two-way street, we build relationships. relationships these days, I feel like off of the weakest things. And no wonder when we go through trials and tribulations, things crumble.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
So I want to build something off that's solid. And so if it's only what surrounds my life that's attractive, that's one of the things that we talked about earlier where I'm always going to be my authentic self. Because if my heart is not enough for you, if this is not enough for you, then my success and the things that look sexy around my life aren't going to be enough for you.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Because I know once that ends.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
100%.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
When we can't get in the clubs no more, when we can't get around certain people, when I'm not paying for stuff no more. Yes, 100%.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Absolutely. People who are your people, and there's exceptions, but they will never put more questions in your life than answers. So if you have to question if it's real, you probably got your answer. That's what I would say.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Consistently, for sure. If you got a question, yeah.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
To the person listening and watching this, I'm going to just say this. Do you think your kids don't know that you're not living your best life and giving everything to yourself? Is that the example you want to set for them? Because they know. No matter how much you tell them yes, how much you give to them, they know.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
My kids in my journey, when they know daddy isn't the best and daddy's stressed out and daddy is not protecting his peace, they know they can feel it. And so what I decided to committed to, it doesn't mean that you're not there for your kids, but I decided to see if I can illustrate this.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
So often we're told to pour into people's cups and as givers, as you know, people who help people, we're always pouring into cups and they always say, you know, you should have somebody in your life that can always refill your cup. For me though, that's always still dependent on somebody else to refill your cup. And that's always not a guarantee you have that person to refill your cup.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
So a lot of people in this world, including myself at times, we're always pouring, pouring, pouring, giving, giving, giving to our kids, to people we love. And then we start to feel empty. So I committed my life to protecting your peace. And for me, that means Having an abundance of what I need. So me out in nature, me working out, me doing the things, that's how I fill up my cup.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Me meditating, me talking to God. And what happens, I tell the people around me, just stay around me. Don't worry about me pouring into your cup because I'm going to protect my peace so hard. There will be an overflow of peace, joy that you will receive just by being around me. I don't have to worry about pouring because you're going to get the overflow.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And so my kids, they realize that when I'm taking care of myself, they're getting the overflow. Wifey, she's getting the overflow. My team, they're getting the overflow because I'm taking care of me. So it's not selfish. It's actually, to me, more courageous to say, you know what? I'm going to stop trying to put out all these fires and I'm just going to focus on giving myself what I need.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And when I give myself what I need, I am better for everything around me. And they receive the overflow, running over, and they're receiving the overflow of me protecting my peace. And so that strategy, that mindset has helped me not burn out and helped me not feel empty anymore.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
That's right.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
That's right.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
That's right. My daughter, Maya, I'll never forget this. I went into her room and I was like, hey, what are you doing? She said, dad, I'm protecting my peace.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And she hit me with that. She's like, I need some me time. And I was like, all right. And even though I wanted to see her, I was like, okay, so you're right. And so those moments of my little girls and obviously Tristan, he's older, but my little girls knowing what protecting their pieces is like the greatest accomplishment ever because they understand at a young age how important that is.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Absolutely.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
You know, I was going to go with know your worth, but I want to be more unapologetic in the book. And I'm in a season where, you know, I'm demanding my worth. And demand seems so like... harsh. But the truth is, if you don't demand your worth, you're never going to get your worth. And so that looks different from business. That looks different from personal life.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
What I know is true is most people in this world, and I've been here so many times in my life, their worth is connected to something outside of them. And I'm sure in Worthy, like you know this, like their worth is connected to how a person feels about them, right? We can say social media, how I'm doing in my business, like these things are controlling how they feel about themselves.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And that is mission impossible. If you're trying to feel worthy, you're trying to feel, lovable, likable in yourself, it's always a roller coaster because you're dependent on the algorithm to make you feel worthy. You're dependent on how somebody sees you to make you feel worthy.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And so what I've learned and I'll talk about in Demanding Your Worth is first determining what are the puppet masters in your life that's controlling your worth. A puppet master, obviously somebody who controls how you feel. So you have to cut the strings and say, as we said earlier, I'm worthy because of something that's foundational that doesn't change.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
I'm worthy because of this is how I was created to be. I'm worthy because whatever you want to put in the blank. And so that's the first step, because when you understand your worth, then you feel unapologetic for asking for it. And so when people try to put a price tag on my life, whatever that is, as a speaker, as this or that,
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And they try to make me feel wrong for saying, oh, well, you don't deserve this. No, I know what I deserve. I know what I've been through. I know what I've gotten through. And I know my talent. I know my gift. So I'm going to demand my worth. And if my worth is not seeable in your eyes, then go find another person. And so that's from business. That's in relationships.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
I see so many people in this world, they shrink. They shrink instead of expand. They shrink to fit in. They shrink to find a relationship. they strength to, you know, not offend. And it's like, why? Because if you don't demand your worth, the world will tell you what your worth is. And the last time I checked, that's not a good price tag. And they usually put you on wholesale.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
No, I haven't always been there. I've gotten used and abused a lot. I haven't always been there. And I've realized that in lowering my worth, and I believe this, I believe settling leads to suffering. And every time I've settled in my life for something, suffering was in the near future. So if I settled... in business, by settling in my personal life, suffering was coming for me.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And so I made a commitment to myself to never settle. And even if it's hard, because sometimes loneliness or want or temptation makes us settle for less. And for myself, I realized that every time that I've accepted less in my life, it put me in a bad place. Every time I didn't stand on my worth and demand my worth, it put me in a bad place. And so I just got tired of being used.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
There's this constant battle, I believe, every single day. for our worth, for our peace, for our sanity, for our happiness, for our joy.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
I got tired of being empty. And sometimes you just got to get sick and tired of being sick and tired. And what the world's going to try to say to you is, oh, you're full of yourself. What the world's going to try to say to you is, who do you think you are? What the world doesn't know, everything that you've been through and survived through and got through just to get you to where you're at.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
So my worth isn't just coming from La La Land. My worth is coming from everything that I put in the work and I went through in my life. And it's come from an ultimate permanent worth, how God feels about me and my belief. So I refuse to let him, them, anything tell me what I'm worth. How can you tell me that? You're not me. You don't live my life.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And when we talk like this, people kind of be like, oh, why are you talking like that? It's because if I don't value me, If I don't protect my worth, then I'm going to live a life full of settling. And I know for sure what's in the future. It's regret. I've had enough conversations with people who are older. And the number one thing they say is, grandmother told me this, Trent, know your worth.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Demand your worth. Because when you get to my age, you're going to realize that you have lowered yourself for people that ain't even here no more. And you live in regret the rest of your life. And regret is the greatest poison to the soul. So I refuse to live in regret. So if I have to miss out on a thing because... I don't fit in their scenario, I'm okay with it. It's not for me.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
There's something down the line better for my life. So sometimes when you don't know your worth, you will never get to the thing that is meant for your life because you're taking every opportunity and you never actually get to the opportunity that's really meant for you. So that's helped me a lot get the right things in my life.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Yeah. At least in my experience it has, for sure.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
That's right.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
The principle is simplify happiness. And there's a saying that says, happiness works off of what's happening. And I agree, but that's external happiness. I don't believe internal happiness works off of what's happening. It's a choice that you make. Some people call it joy, but it's a choice that you make to say, I'm gonna choose to be happy.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
But a lot of us, our happiness is in the hands of all those things we just talked about. I'm gonna be happy when they love me. I'm gonna be happy when they accept me. I'm gonna be happy when everything goes right. And that is a disaster. for your worth. And so what I've learned is to simplify it.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
If you look at most people's happiness checklist on what it takes to be happy every day, Lord, it's like a million things, right? I gotta wake up on time. The Starbucks line gotta be short, right? It's this and this and this. And like, you have to check off all these boxes to be happy. And a lot of people in this world, we complicate happiness. And happiness is such a simple thing.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Jamie Kern Lima. Jamie, you're so inspiring. Jamie Kern Lima.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Happiness is an internal job that can come from ourselves. And I know it's easier said than done when you have so much chaos around you, but peace says, no matter the chaos around you, I'm not gonna let it kill the calm inside me. Peace says, yeah, the storm exists, it does. But guess what? The storm is gonna pass.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And so I would challenge everybody listening to us, how can you make happiness so easy to obtain that you had no choice but to be happy every single day? And maybe not the whole day, but the moment. I have a little area in the book and it's called Morning Marley. Marley's my daughter. And I realized this as we get older, we complicated a lot more and I'm guilty of it.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And I'll never forget Marley. I'm sure you had this happen with your kids. Marley comes in the room at like 7 a.m. Sun rises up. She opens up our blinds. I'm tired. And she's singing a song. It's morning time. And she's so happy that it's morning. And the first thing I want to say is Marley, go back to sleep. But I caught myself and I said, wow. She's happy because it's morning.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Trin, when's the last time you've been happy that you woke up and that it's morning? Or you need some great thing to happen for you, for you to be happy. When she brushes her teeth, she has the brush your teeth song. She's happy to brush her teeth. And so if we get back, I believe this is why God tells us to be childlike. Because when we get away from being childlike,
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
we start to have all this complication around what brings us joy, what brings us happiness. Go look at a kid. A kid, they can hate you one second, love you in two seconds later. They're quick to forgive. They find happiness in simplicity. Playing outside, playing in the bathtub. At what point in our life as grownups that we start becoming so cold and so boring and just so tight with life?
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And so I love that principle because I really feel like it can open up your life to more simplicity and experience more peace in your life if you just learn how to say, what do I need today just to be happy? And that question has literally changed my life.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
It's morning. It's morning. It's morning. Something like that.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And then her brush your teeth. It's time to brush your teeth. Like, yeah. That whole song. And I love it. Right? Now I love it. Because I said, wow. When did I get away from being appreciative? And a lot of us aren't happy because we spend our whole life chasing. Chasing the next thing. More, more, more, more. And trust me, it's hard when you're in a position you got people to take care of.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
But it's more, more, more, more, more, more, more. And The world programs us for that. And so this book and the mess of protecting your peace is like slowing down and being loyal to your pace. What's the pace setter in your life? You know what a pace setter is? When you run a race, there's a guy or a girl who sets the pace to keep you in pace in your race.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
I would ask, who are the pace setters or what's the pace setter in your life? And for me, it was the wrong things at times. It was scarcity that was setting the pace. It was pleasing people that was setting the pace. It was comparison that was setting the pace. And all that did was burn me the heck out. And so now my pace setter is peace.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Now my pace setter is confidence knowing that I'm running the race that is meant for me to run. And to some people, I might look like a turtle. To some people, I might look like a rabbit. But I'm okay at this pace because I understand the lifestyle and the life that I want to live. So, yeah.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
A thousand percent.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
See, peace is not just At Earthy, I'm disconnected from everything. Like peace is flow. Peace is in the zone. Peace is taking care of your business. I'm at peace in my business because I take care of my business. It's the basketball player that's shooting the free throw with two seconds left and they're at peace at the free throw line. Why?
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Because of all the preparation so that I can be at peace in this moment. So there's a whole approach holistically to experiencing peace. I can't be at peace if I'm not taking care of my business. I can't be at peace if I'm not doing the things that I know I need to do.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And so a big part of me protecting my peace is making sure I'm prepared, is making sure I'm efficient, is making sure I'm intentional, is making sure that I'm doing the things that I need to do so I can lay my head down at night and saying, man, I did what I needed to do today. I could be at peace. So I wanted to share that part for sure.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Absolutely. Some people will think like, there's two experiences. I mean, I always say there's the protect your peace trend where people are like, man, Trenton is on his own. They see like the athlete side where I'm pressing the gas. But it's all of those things. But it's also knowing, like in a race, you know your pace. Sometimes you got to run faster. sometimes you gotta slow down.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
But you can't look at the next person and say, oh, I should be running faster because the person in year 15 is doing this. So I'm gonna do it. The person that started the podcast, you know, 10 years ago, I'm expecting to get the same amount of downloads. So I'm gonna do all the things. And we sit here, we compare ourselves. And it's like, no, this is my journey. This is my journey that I'm on.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And sometimes it's gonna be a season of busy, a season of dad, a season of everything, but I'm still at peace. Because I'm loyal to my pace. So when I need rest, I rest. When I need to go, I go. And I'm okay with that because I know at some point the finish line that's meant for me to cross will be there. And it might not look like the next person's finish line, but I'm okay with that.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
So that's a big part of knowing your worth. It's a big part of being confident in who you are, a big part of knowing that what God has for you has for you. That's a big part because if you don't, you're going to think that I'm supposed to be doing all of these things. Not that you can't get influenced and motivated by someone else, but that's still their life. That's still their journey.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
So I might not have that or have this, but I have what I need and I'm okay with that.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Yeah, experience. You know, I grew up in a church, so it was easy. My dad, my grandmother, my mother. But for so long in my life, it was the relationship that they gave me. You know, I believe because this is what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to go to church three days a week. And I believe because of that. But that wasn't a true belief. That was a given belief.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And I had to learn how to seek God for myself and build that relationship. So my relationship with God doesn't look like on paper, maybe what it looks like for everybody else. And I just told you before I got here, I went to the ocean and I find God there. I believe nature is God's natural medicine for the soul.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
So I'm in the woods, I'm doing all these things and that's where I find God and that's strengthened my relationship. But it's my journey of me being seven years old with asthma, pretty much flatlining in the ICU at seven years old. And me realizing that there's a purpose for my life. Me losing my NFL career and thinking that what else is there to my life? And now I'm living in my purpose.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Me almost, oh man, losing my daughter. Holding her in my hands and almost losing her. So these experiences, that's where my relationship is built. And so I tell people all the time, you can hear things, you can read books, but it's the experience that strengthens the belief. And so for me, God is real because of what I've seen in my life and how he's worked in my life.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
immerse yourself in relationship, just like in anything else. I think sometimes we think this relationship with God is like,
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
You know, it's opposed to, I'm just going to say it, Jamie, like we live in a world right now where people are telling you how to live and what to do, and it looks like this, and if it doesn't look like this, and I think in our faith as Christians, it's so hard because I know for myself, and I'll just say this, like when I first started in this industry, I got judged a lot.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
If you listen to my first spoken words, one of my first words was, I fear the body of Christ because I'm more judged by churches. They expect me to be perfect. Mm-hmm. but that's a cross that I can't carry. This soul still battles sin. Does it make me less Christian if I told you sometimes I struggle to believe when I say amen? And that was real. And so I said, man, like, I'm not good enough.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And I think for so many people out there, there's this checkbox of being the perfect Christian. And I know we're supposed to do certain things, but until you really build that relationship and realize God is a God of grace, God is a God of forgiveness, and you really allow God to work into your life, then you're never gonna feel that presence.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
So I would ask somebody like, are you seeking him daily? Are you building community with other believers daily? Because if you're not, just like in any relationship, like if you don't call your girlfriend or boyfriend or talk to them, eventually there's gonna be some disconnect. And so God doesn't move from us, we move from him.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And so I would tell everybody that wants to build a better relationship, don't let your circumstances, don't let your situations, don't let failed relationships. I've seen it. People become angry at God. I did. God, you let me play since I was four years old of sports, and now it's over? Like, what's up? And this is how I talk to God. Like, what's up, man? And I realized, like...
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Number one, he doesn't owe us any explanation because he's done so much for our life. When my mother died, why God? But I remember my mother telling me, you can question God, but understand that God doesn't owe you anything because he's already gave you everything. And so that's helped me in my life. So I would tell that person to build, to seek, to have conversation, and it might look different.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
There's no perfect prayer. Sometimes the prayer is, hey, God, I'm struggling today, I need you. God knows the wants, desires of your heart. You have to step out the boat and seek Him. But He requires us to step out the boat and most of us don't do that. We want God to do everything for us. So what does stepping out the boat look like? Because that shows God that we trust him.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And that shows faith. And once you do that, he will literally pave the road that you're going on. And that's how I got to this place. Because people always ask me, Jamie, like, how did you get here? What are the steps? And I can give you a cool five-step process of like, stay committed, stay this, stay that. But the truth is, I got here because I trusted a plan that wasn't mine.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
I got here because... I was able to go down this journey, even though I didn't know where I was going, I still trusted. That's how I got here. God had something bigger for me than I have for myself.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
So, and I know I'm kind of going on a tangent here, but we have, and I love vision boards and I love the visions and I always tell people have the vision, but understand God holds a bigger vision than any vision board can hold for you. And I've realized that with my life. So I couldn't have planned to be sitting across from you here. I couldn't have.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
But God had a deeper plan, a deeper meaning for my life, even though I didn't understand it at the time. So I would tell the person to trust, seek, and have patience that God got you.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Jamie, thank you so much. That was like the best self-esteem booster ever. I appreciate you.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
For sure.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
I believe you are a magnet. And I believe the more you work on yourself, you strengthen your magnet. I don't believe in chasing. Chasing dreams, like I say that too, but I don't believe in chasing. I believe in attracting. Not necessarily the law of attraction, but I believe that the more you work on yourself, the more you believe right? Believe it.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
The more you believe in yourself, the more you feel like you're worthy, you strengthen this magnet where the right things are magnetized to you. They find you the right friends, the right connections. I mean, if you look on your life, Jamie, I can look at mine and be like, again, how did this relate? How did we, it's because you strengthen your magnet.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And so I work on that and that's allowed me to protect my peace because I'm not going to seek. It doesn't mean I don't go, you know, try to build relationships and things like that, but I'm not in desperation, I'm okay. That when it comes, it comes, but I'm going to make sure when it comes, I'm prepared and I'm ready. And I'll strengthen that magnet every single day.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And I can tell you that has opened up more doors in my life because there's things that I cannot explain how it happened. I can't. It's just that the magnet I believe God has given me It's allowed the right things to come to me. Because when you're chasing and seeking and you're going to find, a lot of times you're going to find what your loneliness wants.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
You're going to find what your scarcity wants. You're going to find what your comparison wants. That's what you're going to find. And so I'm not trying to go find nothing. I'm trying to have these things find me.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
When you're chasing, oftentimes you will find what your scarcity finds, what your insecurities will find, what your worries will find, what your fears will find. And it goes back to now you're gonna settle for less. It's like you're trying to knock down a door and beat down a door that's not meant for you to go in.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
It's tough. First, you have to have a reality check with yourself and understand that because what I've noticed in my own life is been doing this 15 years that most people, when it comes to their worth or how they feel, it's connected to something outside of them, whether it's people's opinions, whether it's the job, whether it's weather, whatever it may be.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And you're spending all your energy and time trying to knock down this door when if you just have patience, you talked about not being lazy. Lazy is procrastination. Patience is working while you're waiting. Patience is trusting God in the process. Patience is peace that I'm going to still do what I got to do and go hard.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
But I have patience and peace that when it's time for that door to open, I don't have to knock it and kick it down. It's going to turn the knob. It's going to open at the right time. That's the hard part, Jamie, that a lot of us want things to happen in our time when we want it. But as you know, and I know that God's timing is the perfect timing. And that's always, always true.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
If God would have blessed me with rehab time, when I wanted it, I would have fumbled it. I guarantee you. I would have messed it up. I wasn't ready. So he was building me, right? He was molding me. He was shaping me. He was preparing me. I said, okay, you're ready now. Here you go. And so we got to learn how to have patience in the journey and trust the process. And the process sucks at times.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
The process is rough. The process isn't beautiful. Like we live in an entrepreneur era on social media where they show you all the cool things, right? The ice bath, jump in the ice bath and do all the things, right? Like cool. But they don't show you the other side of it. Like just because you start something, don't mean you're going to be successful. Probably less than 1% of people actually are.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And the people who actually become successful are the people who actually had steadfast and continue to persevere over the first year, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth year. But we don't see that talked enough about.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And so that's why I love our conversation because you're seeing two individuals that are telling you, if you're just having patience, having peace in the journey, it will find you over time. But if you want the celebrity, if you want the money now, you want all these things now, you're going to run into a race that you ain't meant to run and you will burn out.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
That's why statistically, if you look at all the things that people start and don't finish, 8% of people finish what they start. 92% of people don't. And it's because I guarantee that 92% was being guided by the wrong things.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
I'm almost at a loss for words because it's so hard to put it into words. What my dad has done for me, showing me how to be a man, came to every single one of my games. Didn't miss a game. Worked at UPS for now a long time, more than I've been alive. But he always made time to be there. I never had to wonder where he is, where he was. He was always there.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
He showed us how to be a man, continues to show us how to be a man. My mother was and still is our rock. And I dedicated this book to her. because she always taught me what peace is and always seen her operating peace. Even though at times she would have chaos and things going around and things going on in her life, she would always be a woman of peace.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And there's this constant battle, I believe every single day, for our worth, for our peace, for our sanity, for our happiness, for our joy. And that constant battle is between the external and the internal. So I always tell people, ask yourself a simple question. Can I control this? If you can't control it, you have to let it go.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
She would be a woman of calm and even the most chaotic situation, especially in the storms. She was the shelter in our storm. She was the one that was... Everything's going to be all right, even when it didn't look all right. And so what's ironic, Jamie, with this book, I told you I changed the date. And it was supposed to come out in January.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
I wasn't going to share this, but I'm going to share it. One of my promises that I told my mother, I would write this book, Protect Your Peace. And what I saw in her, and I gotta share this, my mother literally died in peace because she lived in priority. My mother was able to rest in peace because she lived in priority. She prioritized the things that mattered.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
So I know when it was her time to go, she was okay because she did everything she was supposed to do. She was the matriarch that took care of everything. So I literally saw her at peace when she took her final breaths. And as hard as it was to see her get wheeled out that house, I said, thank you God for healing her. Because sometimes we don't get a physical healing, we get a spiritual one.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
The book was supposed to come out January 16. Something in my heart didn't feel right about that date. So I reached out to the publisher and I said, hey, just give me another date. I didn't pick this date, they said March 5th. Immediately I felt a peace in my soul because that week of March was that week I talked about before, where my mom, Maya, all these situations happened.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And I called my dad, I said, dad, can you believe, man, this book is bringing light to this dark week? And I said, but dad is something deeper than that. I said, what is it? I said, I don't know. And in my midnight hour, as I call it, waking up at 3 a.m. because my mom passed, I didn't get a full year of sleep. It hit me. March 5th is when the book comes out.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And March 5th was the last time I seen my mother alive. The last time I held her hands. So it's special. And when I talk about being guided, that's what I mean. And so for the world to get this book, it's more than just a book for me. It's a, It's a representation of who she was and who she is. And I know she touched this book because I know my mother. She always wants me to shout her out.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And I love to say, I will control what I can and pray about what I can't. And I had to leave it in God's hands. And to be real, Jamie, that's hard sometimes. Because as human beings, we want to have so much control over things. And if we feel like we don't have control, there's stress and anxiety. But I've learned to let it go. I've learned to trust even when I don't understand.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
She wants to be a part of everything. So yeah, it's a special one for me. So I hope the world is able to protect their peace and get a glimpse of what my mother taught me.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
For sure.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
It was so clear. So, so clear. Mom was on hospice for six months. So I saw what peace didn't look like. In that moment, peace. So as hard as it is sometimes, you know, to move on and go on, and I know you can understand, I can literally live my life in peace because I know she's resting in peace for real.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Aquanetta Shelton for sure.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
It was.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
She always wanted a, I don't want to say weird, but a weird nickname as a grandmother. So she always just said she's sweet. And that's what my kids and my nephews and nieces, they called her that.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Yeah.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Awesome. Open up now.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Ooh, Nike shoe box. Awesome. Let me see.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Oh, snaps. Ooh. Oh. Jamie. Jamie.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Oh my gosh. So it says, honey, protect your peace. I don't know if I want to wear these shoes every day or not wear them.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Oh my gosh.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And that's been the driving force in my life and keeping my peace. So I would just simply tell that person, ask yourself, can I control this? And if you can't, let it go and trust that everything's going to work out.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Thank you so much.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
I got to write Protect Your Peace on one side.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
I appreciate you. I'm on that journey too.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
God is all up in here. All up in here today.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
This says, keep being a light on that side.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
I will on this side. This is the dopest gift ever. Like, oh my gosh. I'm genuinely excited.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Absolutely.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Yeah, I just realized in my life through experience, like the things that I've tried to control that I can't control. And a lot of that has been people. And I don't always want to talk about that, but a lot of that has been people, how people feel about me, what people say, the internet, the algorithm, Lord, all these things outside of me.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And what I've realized is that I'm just driving myself crazy. For a lot of people, just what I believe in my faith is that a lot of us, we want to be behind the steering wheel of our life. We want to be able to control everything. The truth is in life, you can't. You can't control the experiences. You can't control your tomorrows. You can influence it.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
You can do your best to put yourself in the best position to have the greatest things happen for your life. But the truth is, and I know you know this, I've done everything right and things have still went wrong. And I say wrong, but really, it's just not the right for my life at that time. And so I've learned to say, you know what, Trent? Get out the driver's seat of your life and put God there.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And where God takes you, sometimes it don't make sense. You question it. But I always say this quote, God will allow you to go through places you don't understand just to bring you to the place where he needs you to be. So when I look over my life, that's where the trust comes from. That's where my faith comes from. It doesn't come from knowing what tomorrow brings.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
It comes from knowing that God has had my back time after time again. And that's hard, right? Because sometimes you lose people, you lose things, and you want these things back in your life. Sometimes it's loved ones. But I've learned to have patience and faith in saying, If it's not for me, then it's just not for me. And that's so hard at times when it's things that you love.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
But I prioritize my peace over everything now. And that's definitely helped my life. So I would tell the person, prioritize your peace and learn over time that everything is working out for your good. And I know that seems super motivational and inspirational, but it's the truth. Everything is working for you. And that's the truth that I stand by and live by.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Exactly. What's the point of it?
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
I know where that leads. There's no amount of perfection you can give to a person that's committed to misunderstanding you. But once you free yourself from those things and you experience the freedom of fully being yourself, and people fully loving you for yourself, you'll never go back to being someone that you're not to please them.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Yeah. I made a commitment. When I first started, like 2009, and when it really got real in 2011, and I made a commitment that I would always be a voice for people to let them know that everything they're going through can soon turn everything they made it through. And I wanted to be an example of that.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And I didn't want to just be a one trick pony where it's like, I'm telling you these things, but I'm not letting you know what I'm going through. And yeah, I go through a lot, just like every human being. And I remember making a promise to my best friend while I started doing what I do that committed suicide. And I told him that,
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
i would be the voice for people who need one and i would be the shoulder to lean on for people who need one and that was very difficult for me because again i'm an introverted person when i started this it wasn't like the popular thing to do at that time but i knew that there were so many people out there that thought that they were broken and so for me um
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
being vulnerable and transparent led to my transformation. And I want to let people know that it's okay to go through things. It's okay to share things. It's not going to hurt your brand. It's okay to admit that you're going through a struggle because that's relatable. I can inspire people with my things.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
I can inspire people with the house or the car, or I'm telling you all these numbers, which that's a part of it too. But I wanted to be able to impact people with my heart. and say, I want you to experience my heart. And I want you to feel this connection. And I want you to see a human in me, this human that can rise above, this human that can conquer, this human that can overcome.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
Because if you can see that hope in me, then hopefully you can see the hope in yourself. And so that's why I'm so open and transparent. And Jamie, it's just hard to just do this smile when I'm dying inside. I just can't do it. It just takes too much energy. So I would rather say, hey, y'all, I'm depressed right now. You know, it doesn't mean that my life is over.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
I'm going through a storm, but I promise you I will get through it because no storm lasts forever. But I'm going through it. I'm climbing this mountain with you. I'm at the mountaintop saying, hey, this is how you get up here. No, I might have been there, but every year in my life through something, because I'm a human, I come back down to the valley.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
And I'm with you climbing this mountain with you. So I think that's what's helped me connect with so many people across the world. And honestly, that's what's helped me be able to continue on this journey. Because if I'm carrying all this emotional baggage, and as I always say, smiling for the camera, but dying behind the scenes, I know where that leads.
The Jamie Kern Lima Show
Protect Your Peace & Demand Your Worth! Trent Shelton on Simple, Life-Changing Strategies to Take Control of Your Life!
I know people in my life that are no longer here because of that. And so I refuse to be what the world wants me to be. and lose myself. I refuse to be who the world wants me to be and not keep peace in my life. So for me, this is the easiest thing for me to do is to say, this is what I'm dealing with.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
I'm a believer, and I'm sure there's exceptions to certain rules, that people will consistently and continuously give you what you allow them to give you. I believe that you're in control of two things in this world. What are they? Nobody can stop you giving anything and what you accept. So if I was like, Mel, this is a cup of poison, drink it. You wouldn't accept that.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
And it's crazy because I feel like emotionally, we accept so many emotional poisons in our life that we don't have to accept. Nobody can force you to accept it. And the first thing it starts with, again, we go back to setting that boundary, saying no. Boundaries are not walls to keep things out. We hear the word boundary. We think, oh, boundary is a bad thing and it's toxic.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
And no, boundaries aren't walls to keep things out. Boundaries are bridges to let the right things in. Ooh, that was boundaries are not walls. To keep things out. It can be. If somebody makes it a wall where they disrespect your boundary over and over, then it becomes a wall. Like, hey, I'm blocking you from my phone. Leave me alone. I'm blocking you.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
But boundaries aren't walls to keep things out. They're bridges to let the right things in. That's in relationships. That's in marriage. It makes it more beautiful. Me and my wife, we've set boundaries with each other. That makes it more beautiful. I give her her time on self-care day. She gives me my time, my hours. And we're better for our kids and our family when we come back to that.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
Do I want to every minute of her life? Yes. No, I don't want you to go out there, babe. But I realize that's what she needs. Friendships, boundaries, your work.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
boundaries and the thing that i see is that so many people aren't setting boundaries or they're setting boundaries and not standing on their boundaries so if you're the go-to person for everybody else but you can't go to anybody set a boundary say hey if you can't do this for me i'm not doing this for you no more unapologetically if you're the person that's always being there for everybody if you're somebody's 2am and they call you with all their problems oh my gosh
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
Then set a boundary. Hey, you know what? If you're not going to take my advice, don't call me no more with your problems. If I can't call you at 2 a.m., I call you, you sleep. I get the do not disturb. Then set that boundary. And boundaries aren't a mean thing. It's a necessary thing to protect your peace and to protect your energy.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
Because as we said at the beginning of this episode, you don't get an infinite amount of energy to use. Like, no, it's a battery. If we're honest, some of us protect our phone battery more than we do our cell battery.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
So to bring this back, set boundaries and look at boundaries as bridges. And I think it will change your life when you ask yourself what you need. Can I give a three step process with that? Please. Let's go. Number one, when you're setting boundaries, first ask yourself. What do you need in your life right now? Write that down, whatever it is. Peace. I need sanity.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
I need better friends, whatever it is. Number two, then ask yourself, what boundary do you need to set? Do I need to set that will lead me to what I need? Okay. The number three, which is probably the most important. Why do I have to? not want to, why do I have to stick to this boundary? And this boundary is something that can't budge and write that down. What is it costing you?
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
I like to call it opportunity costs. What is it gonna cost you not to stick to this boundary? Your future, your peace, maybe you're a mom and you keep saying yes to everybody else and you're frustrated now your kids get that. Maybe you're a dad and you're doing all the things and you can't be the man you need to be for your wife and your family. What is it costing you?
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
Because it's costing you way more than you think. Get clear on that and start there. You tell people how to treat you by what you accept. You tell people how to treat you by what you continuously accept.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
I just miss him.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
You're the best. It was supposed to be, it's a break there, right? Yeah. I thought so. Okay. I was just like, I don't think I'm supposed to say anything there. You can say anything you want, Trent. I wasn't sure.