Trent Shelton
Appearances
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
So often we focus on what we don't have and we let that paralyze us.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And I didn't have that. You know, I didn't have any cameras. I didn't have a team. And so I said, what do I have? Because so often we focus on what we don't have and we let that paralyze us. So for me, I was like, okay, yeah, I don't have a lot of stuff, but what do I have? I got some heart. I got a message. And I got a cell phone. So I picked up my cell phone and I pressed live.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And I know it's so popular now, but back then people weren't going live like that. And I pressed live and I streamed and I would share my heart. Simply as that. I had no idea of like, man, like these are the steps. These are the points. I'm just like, I'm going to press live and share my heart and talk about what I'm currently going through. And that's how I started as far as on the internet.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
Thanks for having me on the podcast. I really appreciate you. But jogging my memory back, ever since I was a young boy, I wanted to be an athlete, whether it be football, basketball, baseball. I have two older brothers, and so they're four and six years older than me. So it's kind of like no choice. As a kid, I wanted to follow in their footsteps, and they were sports addicts.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And a big catalyst in my whole movement, I teach people this to this day. I said, man, you know, people weren't bringing me in to speak. Like I wasn't like, oh, come speak here. Most people, you know, they wait. They wait for people to come to them. But I say, man, you can't be passive. A passive life will pass you by. Get you passed by. So I said, okay, what can I do?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
So I reached out to all my connections in sports. I reached out to teachers. Luckily, I was a good student. Didn't disrespect. I reached out to my old teachers and said, hey, can I come speak to the school? So I would go speak to elementary schools. I would speak to high schools. I would speak anywhere I could. Teams, YMCA, it didn't matter.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
Anywhere there were ears, even on the street corners, like that was facts. In downtown Fort Worth, I would go share my message. And that message started to get around. And so when I would go speak, somebody would be like, hey, can you come speak here? Because I just heard you speak here. Sure.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And the thing that started my first conferences, quote unquote, I didn't have the money to throw on conferences. So I called them live conversations and it gives me chills to this day. I had a lot of money to be able to travel to places. I had enough of a following where, you know, maybe two or three people would show up in the city.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
My very first city was Las Vegas because I put on Facebook at the time, like, how many people do I have in Las Vegas? And like 10 people responded. So I said, cool. Scrapped up some money, flew to Las Vegas. I asked a person that was on my Facebook, hey, does anybody have like a location I can borrow, a library, like a classroom?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
A woman hit me up and said, hey, my uncle has a classroom you can use. I said, cool. I get this classroom and I invite everybody for free. We sit down, we have these live conversations. I bring some merchandise to sell to cover my flight, cover my hotel. And I did this in probably 10 or 11 cities. The next year I came back, it would grow by 20. It would grow by 30. Two years, it'd be 100 people.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
But I tell people I started by going to libraries anywhere free that I can have these small little small groups, quote unquote, I call them live conversations, so people can experience who I was and see this was a real thing. And I put in that legwork to be able to be who I am today.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
Yeah. I mean, sometimes I pinch myself, right? Where it's like, man, how did I get here? I never get used to it because I know where I started. But yeah, on that stage, you know, I always, I always want to show people because like you say, you can come on somebody's like, if you watch me now, you're probably like, oh, you always had a gift or you just lucked into or whatever.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And my whole childhood, I grew up in New Orleans, and it was great. Both of my parents were supportive, still are. My mom has passed, but my dad is still supportive to this day. I had good role models in my life, and Sports was my everything. So at a young age, I had that dream. Like I had a vision, I had an intention, and I knew what I wanted to do with my life.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And I love to show people where I started. I love to show people everything that I've been through because that's the relatable piece that people can understand. Say, oh man, if Trent started here or if this person started here, then I could do it too. I think in social media era, we show just perfection. We show where we're at.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And while that's inspiring, what's relatable and connective is actually showing people how you got there. And so I always honor that anywhere I'm at to talk about how I got to the place that I got to.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
So I'm super excited that you actually connected with that because before that event, a little bit backstory, like I wasn't sure because I don't share it at every event, but something told me like, man, just share this part, like show people like the journey a little bit. I'm glad I did. So thank you.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
So rehab time, you know, the words came to me in 2009 and I'm not sure exactly like why that popped up. I'm thinking that it was sports. It was a little bit of Rihanna at the time, like she had that big song checking into rehab. And I think for me, rehab meant in sports, putting the strength back into a weakness.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
So obviously, you know, you get hurt, you go to rehab and you got to come back, you know, and usually you come back stronger than what you were if you do it right. And so I was like, man, that's like a life thing. So rehab time for me at first meant just going to the gym. It meant getting my body right, to set myself up for this football stuff. But little did I know it was bigger than that, right?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
It meant mind, body, and soul. We all have something we can rehab. We all have something we can put to strength, make stronger, make better. That was the journey of it. And it started there. And the genius thing that I tell people I did that, I mean, today it's really not that genius, but I built community. I wasn't just interested in having a follow. I wanted just people to follow me.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
I want to turn my followers into family, right? I wanted people to become true supporters and not just believe in me, but believe in Rehab Time. And it gives me chills to see people embrace Rehab Time, how I embrace it and what Rehab Time did for me is doing for other people. And so I started calling my community rehabbers. every video you hear, it's like, hey, rehabbers across the world.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And it seems so simple now, but it's a place where people can feel a part of. And that movement grew over, you know, obviously the last 15 years, but it really boomed in 2015, 2016, when I was doing my own tours and going out there and giving people a place to wear their merchandise and just a whole community. That's what made it special.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
Because I don't know when there's 16 million, I don't know that many people. I don't know people across the world. It's the people that Share the videos. It's the people that show up in the comments. It's the people that really believe in me because they've experienced my authenticity and they know how much this means to me. That takes us across the world. So that's rehab time.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
We ended up moving to Texas when I was in seventh grade. And if you know anything about Texas, like sports is religion out here. So being out in Texas, it really helped me elevate my chances of being a professional athlete. My childhood was basically that, you know, it was a great childhood, but wrapped around sports.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
You know, it's me, but it's really the rehabbers that make it go.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
Yeah. So if I can give you like a short version of it. First, I have five words that I live by. I say this in the mirror every single day. Scientifically, it is proven to make you take ownership and it will change your life. And those five words is it all starts with you. And I look in the mirror every single day and tell myself, I don't say me because I'm looking at the better version of myself.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
I'm saying it all starts with you. That sentence is a battle cry, is a champion plea to take ownership over your life. So if you want to turn your pain into your power, you first have to acknowledge that you're in pain. Self-awareness to me is one of the greatest gifts because some people are not even aware of it. So you first have to have self-awareness.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
The second thing is that you have to make a choice. I always tell people you're a choice away from a new beginning. Like literally right now, you can make a choice to stop it. You can make a choice to start it. You can make a choice to continue it, but you're a choice away from a new beginning. You don't need a new year. You don't need a new month. All you need is a new moment.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And so making that choice and making that choice real to say, you know, I don't even know where I'm going because a lot of people stay in pain because number one, their condition, even just neurological pathways, that's a whole deep thing, chemically bonded to things. But a lot of people stay in pain because they don't know where they want to go.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And I tell people, I didn't know I would be here, but I knew where I didn't want to stay. So don't let the journey of how keep you in a place that you don't want to be in no more. And so you got to make that choice. Say, you know what? I don't know where I'm going, but I just know. I'm packing up my bags and I'm not staying here. Like I'll figure it out.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And then once you make that choice, you have to find a commitment. So I like to say you're a choice away from a new beginning, your commitment away from a new life. So what's that commitment going to be, right? It might be the promise that I made to my friend, right? That keeps me anchored. My son, whatever it is, you got to find a deep rooted reason on why you're going to change.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
I want to be the first one in my family to be a millionaire. I want to change the financial struggles we had in our family. I want to be the first tech person. I want to break odds. I want to whatever it is. Like for me in football, I want to be the first one in my town, in my city, in my school to show people that you can make it, that it's possible. So whatever it is, you have that commitment.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And the last piece of this is consistency. Consistency is the superpower that changes everything. I think consistency is more important than most things in this world. If you're consistent, you'll be reliable. You're reliable, you'll be trustworthy. And if you become trustworthy, you'll be a go-to person and you will change your life through consistency.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And consistency, just to end with this, is most people say, how do I stay consistent? I'm not consistent. And I talk about this on stage all the time. Like, you are consistent. Like, you're consistent at doing the wrong thing or the right thing. You're a consistent human being. But you'll stay more consistent when you understand how much it's costing you not to be consistent.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And so what's the opportunity cost? Because if you look at anything in your life, the things you're consistent at, even the things that you, you might work a job that you hate, but you go there every single day because you know if I don't show up, it's going to cost me my paycheck. You understand what it costs you. So what does it cost you not to step into your best life?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
What does it cost you not to step into your dreams? What does it cost you to stay into this pain? And when you get that understanding, I believe it can change your life.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
Yeah, so with Protect Your Peace, which are words that I've been saying for so long, and peace is something you'll never experience if you keep a lot of things you can't control to control you. So this book is about three pillars of what protect your peace. Protect your energy, protect your mind, protect your soul. It's about not allowing the external things to control your internal self.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
I think the support of my parents, like knowing that I was loved regardless, of course they were going to push me to be the best, but they didn't love me just because I scored a touchdown. I had a good or bad game. Their love didn't change.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
So I walk them through. man, practice of knowing your worth, of internal alignment, of fulfillment, of trusting your vision, all these different practices that really help you become more soul centered. So when the storm, because I'm not the guy that's going to tell you the storm isn't going to come. I don't care where you live, Hollywood or the hood. It don't matter. Like the storm is coming.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
Like no matter your zip code, So I'm not the guy that's going to say the storm isn't going to come, but I am going to tell you that your perspective towards the storm matters. So when the storm comes, you can be like, oh, it's a storm. Or you can say, okay, what is this storm trying to teach me? And also, I do know that nothing lasts forever. So my peace is telling me this storm is going to pass.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And my peace is so strong that even maybe so, I can go out and dance in the rain because I understand that the storm actually brings goodness to my life too. So that book will really help you start to shift your perspective from your prison to your power.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
A thousand percent. I love you said that, you know, I'm a big component of, if anybody would call me a coach, I always tell people I'm a self-worth coach, you know, first and foremost. And knowing your worth, demanding your worth is so critical.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And so once I knew that I didn't have to win them over by stats or by having a good game and just me being myself was enough, it made me want to repay my parents back because my parents, they were the type of parents, even to this day, my dad, like when my kids, like he travels and he supports and, um,
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And I teach on this so much because I know a big part of my life, I allowed outside things to tell me my worth and it put me in situations that made me feel worthless. And so being able to have confidence in self to say, hey, this is my worth and I'm not budging on it, I think is one of the biggest standards you can have to live a phenomenal life.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
I go through a lot of challenges. I'm glad you asked this question. My biggest challenge right now was two. One, you know, I lost my mother three years ago. Oh, going on three years. And that's always going to be a challenge. That was my best friend. So that's always tough dealing with that. I have my moments where I'm good. I have my moments where feels like it's not real, you know?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
So that's always tough. And then just trying to balance the expectations of the external, of the world, you know, that's placed upon me.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And you know, I mean, being a person that's in position where you have so many things pulling at you, so many opportunities, and you're trying to still not lose yourself in those moments and still have your peace and still focus on what matters and finding that, quote unquote, I like to say harmony in it. Balance and harmony, yeah, it's like, man, that's always a challenge, you know?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
Growth comes with growing pain. We pray for growth, but... When we get the growing pains, like, man, I don't want the growing pains, but it's a part of the process. So that's always a challenge with me thinking about what's next and connecting certain things in my life.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
Sometimes you have to lose what you want to do to walk into what's really meant for you. You know, I was three years into the NFL and they bring me as, hey, you know, we got to bring this guy in. We love you, but we can't keep you. And now, like, what do I do with my life? Most people say, how do I stay consistent? I'm not consistent. You are consistent.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
You're right. I have two sides of Trent. I have the protect your peace Trent that is very introverted, that's cool with going to the cabin and not talking to nobody, phone on, do not disturb. And then I have what I call the live legendary Trent, the athlete side. It's like, let's get it. Let's go. Boom, boom, boom. So finding that harmony between the two, sometimes it's a struggle.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
They were the type of parents that when I looked in the stands, I saw my mom and dad, no matter where the game was. And so my whole motivation, to be honest with you, was to be able to give them a gift. I'm not paying for my college to say, hey, I got a full athletic scholarship or even academic. You know, I took care of my grades. I was a straight A student.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
I have my seasons. I think right now I'm in the season of more protect your peace with the holidays, but trying to find that because One thing I will just share that's helped me, because I always used to think that, and I talk about this in the book, even when I say no, like it's a good opportunity, but I can't do it.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
I used to feel guilty because I would think that I'm missing out on the opportunity. It's almost like FOMO, right? I'm like missing out on something that I could have had. And so I've given myself permission and I tell myself like, you're not missing out. You'll never miss out on the opportunity that's truly meant for your life unless you just, you know, just being a dumbo about it.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
But it's really helped me be able to say no, be able to disconnect and just trust myself to know like the right opportunity to come. If you need peace right now, if you need to take a week off, you need to disconnect for a month.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
whatever, make sure you're taking care of you because there's too many people that depend on you being the best you than for you to kill yourself chasing something that even when you catch it, your pride is not going to be fulfilled anyway.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
Yes, it changed me. And I don't even know if I know how it changed me, you know, but it did change me. And I think it did, which you probably can relate to. I feel like there's a hole inside of me that, you know, nothing can fill. I mean, it's a part of grief because we love hard, but also it changed me in a positive way where it made me more intentional.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
It made me realize that forever comes with an expiration, that you don't have forever with your kids, you don't have forever with your spouse. You don't have forever with your business. And it made me be more intentional with my life. It made me ask the question, like, how do I want to live? How do I want to show up in my relationships? Have I said everything I wanted to say to somebody?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
Because I don't want to live in regret. I want to be able to rejoice. And so when my mother passed, I rejoiced. And of course I was sad, but I know that I gave my mom everything. We were tight. So I didn't have to live in regret. And I wish I would have said this. I wish I would have did this. It was more, man, I'm glad I did this with my mom.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And so she just brought more attention to my life through her passing for sure.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
So that was my motivation and drive throughout my whole life to be able to give my parents the gift of saying you supported me in my dream. So I want to give you a gift back to let you know you don't have to pay for my school.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
I would say keep trusting what's pure to your soul because those around you that's trying to pull you from that have no idea what's meant for your life.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And the reason I say that is because when I started this journey, right, a lot of people around me really kept me from, and of course I gave them the permission, but they kept me from really walking into what I felt like what I was meant to do because I was so interested in opinions and so interested in feedback. And so I just realized like, They didn't create you. So don't let them control you.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And I would tell my younger self that to just trust your gut and trust what you know is pure.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
Yeah, you have to realize that most people are trying to protect you. And you have to understand that it's their perception that they're putting on you. While they mean well, you can't allow somebody else's perception to control your life because they didn't create you. I know your parents might have birthed you, but they didn't create you. Your creator created you.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And the plan that's for your life, nobody understands. So I talk about in the book, trust your vision. And what most people do, they depend on vision validation. And so when they have a vision, they have an idea, most people will go to the people closest to them to share that because it's like familiarity. And those people close to them, they're not a visionary. They're not a dreamer.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
They're not somebody who really understands like how to make it happen. They're probably going to, I use this analogy, they're going to put on your set of lenses that's been specifically prescribed to you. They're going to look through them and say, oh my gosh, I can't see anything. Just like if I had eyeglasses that were mine and you put them on, you're like, I can't see.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And that's what people do. And what happens is, is we allow them not being able to see what we saw, what we see is clear, discourage us. And instead of taking our glasses back and putting them on and said, okay, well, you know, it's not meant for you to see it. Maybe one day when I achieve it, you'll understand it. We never put our glasses back on.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And most people live their whole entire life with the glasses that were meant for them. They live within their pocket. They walk around this whole life unclear. And so I would tell you, like, it's yours. Everybody's not going to see it. Some people are too close to you to see your greatness. So just ask yourself this simple question, and I'll end with this. Have they done it?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
So everybody told me I couldn't make it to the NFL. Guess what? They never made it. Everybody told me I couldn't be a speaker. They never were speakers. So only take advice from people who have been successful at what you're trying to achieve.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
At Trent Shelton, all social media sites from Facebook to TikTok to all of them. And the book, you can go to trentshelton.com. Anywhere on Amazon, obviously, audiobook is available. But trentshelton.com, if you ever forget anything, we'll have all the information on there.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
Yeah, I mean, college was great. College was probably the funnest time of my life. We struggled a little bit as a team, but I was able to excel as an individual at Baylor. And I was put in position to make it to the NFL. So my college career went great. I mean, as a team, I would like for us to win more. but I built a lot of great brotherhoods and relationships.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And you learn there what brotherhood really is. You're seeing your guys. You learn team. I bring this into the workspace today. You learn sacrifice. You learn commitment. You learn that it's bigger than you. And college really taught me that because, I mean, you're living, you're breathing sports. And what you do affects your teammate, affects your brother.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
If you don't take care of your business, then your brother is going to be affected by that. So It taught a different level of discipline and sacrifice that I felt like nothing else in my life had taught me up to that point.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
Yeah, that was probably the worst day of my life up to that point. You know, I was three years into the NFL. My NFL career, it was the typical one. It's not the one that's glorified because you just think people make millions of dollars. But there are a lot of guys that every day they're fighting to stay alive. You know, they're fighting for a job.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And there were so many times where my mental health suffered because I didn't know if I was going to get fired that day. There's been days where I come off the practice field having a great practice, phenomenal practice. And they bring me and say, hey, you know, we got to bring this guy in. We love you, but we can't keep you. And now, like, what do I do with my life?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And my final straw was, it wasn't actually the end of my career. It was the year before when I was with the Seattle Seahawks. And I had this moment where, I don't want to go into the whole story, but I was actually in Dallas at home and I was released at that point. They called me, told me to come back. I packed my bags.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
You're consistent at doing the wrong thing or the right thing. You're a consistent human being. But you'll stay more consistent when you understand how much it's costing you not to be consistent. You never will fix what you're not willing to face. Losing one of my best friends in my life, the suicide was the reason that I started Rehab Time.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
I rushed to the airport and they gave me another call before I get on the plane. Say, hey, Trent, have you left yet? I'm like, no, I haven't left yet. Like, good, because we changed our mind. That was the day where I was like, OK, man, I can't take this no more. Like, this isn't how I want to live. Like so much anxiety and so much excitement and somebody controlling my life just like that.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
End up playing for another year. But I knew in that next year that this wasn't what I wanted to do anymore. It was no love for the game anymore.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
As humans, and we're programmed this way, and whatever you do, more than likely you put your all into something, your identity tends to be wrapped around that. It could be a relationship. It could be a job. And for me at the time, it was a sport. And so for, what, 16, 18 years of my life, I was this football player, this athlete.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And so now the first moment in my life that's since I've been five years old, now I don't have that identity anymore. So what do I do in my life? I have no idea who I am. I never worked a nine-to-five. You can say you went to school to study, but you really went to school so you can make it to the NFL. And so I have no idea what to do with my life. And I was lost.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
You know, I remember looking at my all my trophies and I was at my parents' house because I still live with them when I came back home in my room. And I was just looking around like, man, is my life over? And you see so many athletes struggle with that. Not just athletes, but so many people that's wrapped their life around something. When that ends, it's like, man, what do I do with my life?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And that was the first moment where I felt lost, where I felt insecure, where I felt I didn't have a purpose. I felt, do I even matter?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
Well, I had to face my reality. I think that's the first step. You never will fix what you're not willing to face. I like to say you'll never win your war by running from your battles. And so in my rehab process, I have a three-part process. And the first process is reality. I had to face that, hey, this is over. It's done. But it doesn't mean that your life has to be over.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And sometimes you have to lose certain things to gain better things. Sometimes you have to lose what you want to do to walk into what's really meant for you. And it's easy to say that obviously on this side of it, but these were things I was telling myself. And there was this little inkling of hope. I'm talking about like spectacle, like hope.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
When I was in that room, I said, man, like maybe my life is just beginning. Maybe this had to end so I can walk into my purpose. And I held on to that hope and The thing I would tell people listening to this right now is who you are is what you are. I mean, who you are is who you are. You know, we talk about purpose. I get this question a lot, Trent, how do I find my purpose?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And I tell people, stop searching for it because the world doesn't have your purpose. A job doesn't have your purpose. A title doesn't have your purpose. A financial piece of paper doesn't have your purpose. You are the purpose. And when you understand that, you realize that you can take your life.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
I have five words that I live by. Scientifically, it is proven to make you take ownership and it will change your life. And those five words is...
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
Just as well I was great in sports, the same characteristics I had in that sport, I can take that into the workplace. I can take that into my purpose. I can take that into my company because it's who I am. That's just what I did. And so I would just tell everybody listening to this right now, I know it's hard when something ends, but you still have you. You still have your mindset.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
You still have your characteristics. You still have your values. You still have the great things about yourself that you just got to now figure, how do I now adjust? How do I now rearrange certain things to put into something else? And I think when you realize that if you can be successful at something, I truly feel like you can be successful at something else also.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
Tristan's now 16, which is crazy. You know, Tristan wasn't, and he knows this, you know, it wasn't like Tristan was planned at the time when me and Maria, me and Maria were dating. Now Maria's my wife, but it was a surprise. I was like, man, like, okay, I'm not ready for this, but it's here, right? I can't run from this reality at all.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And the first time I held Tristan, and most parents have this moment, but This was, man, the first time I held him, I was like, it's bigger than me. And for the first time in my life, I really, really truly felt that I'm responsible for someone else. And so I had to go inward and ask myself this simple question. Do I want Tristan to follow in my footsteps?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And to be totally transparent, my answer was no at that time. If I was able to give Tristan the current life that I was living in and say, hey, here's your life, I wouldn't be proud of that. And so Tristan always tell people is the reason that I became a better man. It's the reason that I say, okay, I got to make sure I leave a better path for him. And he became my why. He became my reason.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
I even tattooed his face on me. He still brings up to this day. A tattoo, we get, we argue and he's like, you have, you have my tattoo. So that's his favorite thing to go to. He gave me a bigger sense of meaning, a bigger sense of purpose in my life that held me accountable to the things that I said I wanted to do.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
He was the push for me to really make it happen and build a better life for my family.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
Yes, 2010. You know, I said Tristan was the reason I became a better man. In this moment, losing my college roommate, you know, one of my best friends in my life. The suicide was the reason that I walked into my purpose, was the reason that I started Rehab Time, was the reason I stayed, like really made it a real thing.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
You know, he killed himself and he killed himself because he lost some things in his life. He lost a relationship. He lost a dream and he felt like life wasn't worth living. And it was my commitment to him I don't even say the word promise. It was a commitment because commitment doesn't work off convenience. Commitment is loyal despite what's going on.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
It was my commitment to him to live the rest of my life being what y'all see today. Helping people with their self-worth. Helping people know that despite what you lose, who you lose, you don't have to lose yourself and there's more to your life.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
That's why every stage I ever speak on, you know, that message is always echoed because it was my promise to him in his casket, my commitment to him in his casket that I'm going to be this person. And I want people to understand, like, this was not like what y'all see today. This is me being a speaker and being, you know, all the things.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
This was a very big commitment because this wasn't who I was. I'm a quiet person by nature. You know, I wasn't a speaker. I wasn't all these things. And so for me to walk into this and make that commitment, it was huge. I was walking to a new beginning, an unknown territory, but I found a sense of purpose that I knew that was bigger than me.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
That's how Rehab Time and that's how my journey really started in 2010.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
Yeah, in a sense. It made me look at my life. It made me sit down with our other roommate. We were all three really close friends, and me and my current best friend, we sat down at that time and asked ourselves, what are we doing? Forever comes with an expiration date. You don't have time, even though you do have time. And it's like, how do we want to spend this time?
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And if we have two years, like what would we do right now? At that moment, I can honestly say that I would die with incompletion, right? I would die with dreams, with books, with all the things inside of me and things I never did, creations. And I made a commitment to myself at that moment. You know what? I'm going to go do all the things. All the ideas, I'm going to give it to the world.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And that's what created what people see now. It was just me honoring my ideas. Me honoring my ideas of going live back then when it wasn't the popular thing to do back in 2010. Me doing the spoken words that the people know. Me even writing books at that time. Me speaking. That was just me honoring my ideas. I didn't know it would turn into what it turned into today.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
And to be real with you, it wasn't even a thing of helping people. It was really helping myself. It was my therapy, my way of healing. And when I found out that, man, my transparency led to other people's transformation. So I said, oh, the things that I'm going through, other people are going through it too? Let me talk more about these things. And that led me down the path of changing lives.
Leap Academy with Ilana Golan
Trent Shelton: Your Pain Has a Purpose, Unlock Its Power
This device right here changed my life, this cell phone. You know, at the beginning in personal development, there really wasn't a lot of example. It was great people, by the way, but it wasn't a lot of example where I could be like, oh, I see me in this person or I see me doing this. And a lot of it was professional. You know, a lot of it was you got to have the cameras and everything.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
I'm a believer, and I'm sure there's exceptions to certain rules, that people will consistently and continuously give you what you allow them to give you. I believe that you're in control of two things in this world. What are they? Nobody can stop you giving anything and what you accept. So if I was like, Mel, this is a cup of poison, drink it. You wouldn't accept that.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
And it's crazy because I feel like emotionally, we accept so many emotional poisons in our life that we don't have to accept. Nobody can force you to accept it. And the first thing it starts with, again, we go back to setting that boundary, saying no. Boundaries are not walls to keep things out. We hear the word boundary. We think, oh, boundary is a bad thing and it's toxic.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
And no, boundaries aren't walls to keep things out. Boundaries are bridges to let the right things in. Ooh, that was boundaries are not walls. To keep things out. It can be. If somebody makes it a wall where they disrespect your boundary over and over, then it becomes a wall. Like, hey, I'm blocking you from my phone. Leave me alone. I'm blocking you.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
But boundaries aren't walls to keep things out. They're bridges to let the right things in. That's in relationships. That's in marriage. It makes it more beautiful. Me and my wife, we've set boundaries with each other. That makes it more beautiful. I give her her time on self-care day. She gives me my time, my hours. And we're better for our kids and our family when we come back to that.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
Do I want to every minute of her life? Yes. No, I don't want you to go out there, babe. But I realize that's what she needs. Friendships, boundaries, your work.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
boundaries and the thing that i see is that so many people aren't setting boundaries or they're setting boundaries and not standing on their boundaries so if you're the go-to person for everybody else but you can't go to anybody set a boundary say hey if you can't do this for me i'm not doing this for you no more unapologetically if you're the person that's always being there for everybody if you're somebody's 2am and they call you with all their problems oh my gosh
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
Then set a boundary. Hey, you know what? If you're not going to take my advice, don't call me no more with your problems. If I can't call you at 2 a.m., I call you, you sleep. I get the do not disturb. Then set that boundary. And boundaries aren't a mean thing. It's a necessary thing to protect your peace and to protect your energy.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
Because as we said at the beginning of this episode, you don't get an infinite amount of energy to use. Like, no, it's a battery. If we're honest, some of us protect our phone battery more than we do our cell battery.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
So to bring this back, set boundaries and look at boundaries as bridges. And I think it will change your life when you ask yourself what you need. Can I give a three step process with that? Please. Let's go. Number one, when you're setting boundaries, first ask yourself. What do you need in your life right now? Write that down, whatever it is. Peace. I need sanity.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
I need better friends, whatever it is. Number two, then ask yourself, what boundary do you need to set? Do I need to set that will lead me to what I need? Okay. The number three, which is probably the most important. Why do I have to? not want to, why do I have to stick to this boundary? And this boundary is something that can't budge and write that down. What is it costing you?
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
I like to call it opportunity costs. What is it gonna cost you not to stick to this boundary? Your future, your peace, maybe you're a mom and you keep saying yes to everybody else and you're frustrated now your kids get that. Maybe you're a dad and you're doing all the things and you can't be the man you need to be for your wife and your family. What is it costing you?
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
Because it's costing you way more than you think. Get clear on that and start there. You tell people how to treat you by what you accept. You tell people how to treat you by what you continuously accept.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
I just miss him.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Top Expert Advice of the Year: The Best of the Mel Robbins Podcast
You're the best. It was supposed to be, it's a break there, right? Yeah. I thought so. Okay. I was just like, I don't think I'm supposed to say anything there. You can say anything you want, Trent. I wasn't sure.