Tori
Appearances
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
Yes. We're going to go with Tori. I will warn you guys. I am like the sickest I've ever been in my life. I'm pregnant and I got norovirus and I'm like this close to calling it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
I think so. I think I got it because I'm pregnant, like because I'm immunocompromised. I'm more likely to get it because no one else in our travel group got it, of course.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
Thank you. From Fleabag. Can I get started?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
OK, for patient confidentiality reasons, I won't give you specifics on where I'm from, where the story took place. But central Canada, I'm on the prairies. I'll say that.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
We got some crazy nursing stories. I've been a nurse now for six and a half years. I came into this field. I had no family that worked in health care. I had absolutely no idea what to expect. So that's just kind of a preface to say how ignorant and naive I was to what this job was really like. But yeah, this story takes place on the first job I had.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
And it's a job I had up until last year, actually. I took the job right out of graduation at an inpatient neurology and neurosurgery ward at our hospital. So dealt with a ton of strokes, seizures, traumatic brain injuries, spinal cord injuries, brain cancer, spine cancer, anything like that. Really heavy, but got to see some pretty amazing stuff.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
Regarding kind of where I'm from, we do have a really bad epidemic of gang violence here. Oh, really? Yeah, a lot of the prairies. And my hospital is the level one trauma center for our province, so we get to see it all. So you get to see some horrific, senseless acts of violence and assaults. Really sad, really awful, but medically, I got to say, you get to see some pretty cool stuff.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
So I worked that job for six years. And to this day, the patient I'm going to tell you about is probably the most wild patient I've ever seen. So this man, a middle-aged guy, he was an ex-con who was beaten head with a hammer. Oh. When the swelling is really bad in the brain, the surgeons will take off a piece of their skull to let the brain swell and heal because otherwise it'll herniate.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
So usually when that happens, we see it all the time, take off usually a front piece, a side piece. If the person's walking around or doing therapy, they must have this helmet on at all times, obviously, because if they are to fall and hit their head, there's nothing protecting their soft, squishy brain.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
So this man in particular, just the location of his injury was the back of his head, kind of on like the nape of his neck.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
because it was at the very back part of his head and because he was so wild and agitated he had to wear this helmet for 24 hours a day seven days a week in bed kind of picture like a hockey helmet that's hard foam trigger warning we have to restrain heavily a ton of our patients that might bother some people it's for their safety it's for our safety it's temporary they have tubes they can pull out they have such varied levels of awareness of what's going on they just rip everything out they
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
can and do hurt themselves all the time. So this man was also heavily restrained, depending on the level of their injury and kind of where they are in their recovery. You can't rationalize with them. You can't reason with them. They can't speak when they can speak. Their first and only words are always, fuck you. Uh-huh. That was the case of this man.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
So he was in what we would call seven point restraints. So he had a belt around his waist. He had this piece of fabric that kind of comes up like a diaper that attaches to the waist and it keeps him from sliding down in bed, getting strangled by it. Seen that before. He had both of his wrists restrained, both of his ankles restrained to the bed.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
And then he was so wild and head butting that he had a chest strap on. And we have to have the bed elevated a little bit because when they're getting tube fed, if they're laying flat, it can put them at risk of choking. So he had the head of the bed up and we had the chest strap there. Also, this man had what we call posy mitts on.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
So picture giant puffy oven mitts that are like velcroed to their hands. They can't grab or squeeze or scratch or anything. So it's just like boxing. That's the first part is the visualization of this is how this poor man lived for weeks. Oh, wow. He put three separate people on injury leave while being that level of restraint from kicking, punching.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
It's really awful, but I kind of liken it to picture just like a rabid rescue animal in a cage. They don't know what's going on. They're just fighting you. So that was this man to this day, one of the most wild ones I've looked after. So the shift that this happened was on a night shift. I was new and my partner was new. So her and I had both been on this job for like maybe a few months.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
And it's in an observation room. So there's four patients. There's two nurses. It's close observation. So it's intended for really sick patients or really kind of wild, thrashy patients that you need to have eyes on at all times. Our nursing station's 15, 20 feet away from all of their beds. We can see what's going on at all times. My partner was on break at one o'clock in the morning.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
The lights are all off because it's nighttime. We want them all to sleep. And I go into this guy's room. He's heavily restrained. And I see a puddle of liquid on the floor, which is not that unusual in this job. So I turn the light on and I see that it's urine. And that's a bit unusual because he has a catheter in. Yeah, right.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
And I can see he's covered up in a blanket still. I can see the catheter tubing's coming out as it should be. It's secured to the bottom of the bed, the bag, as it should be. So I'm like, where is this urine coming from? And I guess I'll stop here. Do you guys know how catheters get put in and are secured? No, you should tell us.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
yeah doesn't it go all the way up into your bladder and there's kind of a balloon on the end yes i figured you would know dax have you had a catheter thank god no shockingly you have yeah for egg freezing it's a small rubber tube goes into the urethra once you get urine back you know you're in the bladder so you can safely inflate the balloon so on the tubing there's a side port and you inflate with 10 mils of saline and it inflates the balloon to like
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
two-thirds the size of a golf ball and it's just to keep it in place so then if someone accidentally or purposely like gently tugs on it it's not going to come out however do people rip them out with their balloon fully intact all the time at this job oh my god that is awful first thought imaginable oh i know especially for men it's atrocious and it's a bloodbath when it happens oh
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
That is immediately my next thought. It's like, well, this guy's wild. He probably somehow got his oven mitt hands on it and ripped it out. So I pull back the blanket. The catheter is out. It's just like sitting on his bed between his legs. But the balloon is deflated, which is good. I'm just kind of processing this as I'm seeing it. I'm like, well, I guess you didn't rip it out.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
But I noticed that the side port is gone. So what I realized, because he had the chest strap on, but his head at the bed was elevated. He had gotten the catheter in his mouth.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
And he had chewed off the side port. Because of that, the balloon deflated on its own. So that's good. He didn't rip it right out of his penis. But then he grabbed the catheter in his mouth with his teeth and ripped it out of his penis. Jesus! Why? Why? Why?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
That was a few months on the job. Oh, boy. That was my introduction to nursing and neuro-nursing.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
Yes, that's what I loved about working there is some of them were there for months and we're acute. So we're supposed to medically stabilize them. And then the ones that need further neurological rehab would go to another facility in our city. But our doctors were really good at like, hey, so-and-so is doing so good. You should hear. But this guy recovered fast.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
really well by the time we sent him to rehab he was walking he was talking he was eating he was like wheeling himself around the unit in his wheelchair he was very brain injured he was very childlike almost i remember he would throw some temper tantrums i think he probably would have needed some kind of care his whole life but he wasn't aggressive no oh he was just like kind of a big child but yeah you do get to see them recover even in their time on our unit which is so fulfilling yeah yeah
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
I really loved it. I love the chaos. So I moved to intensive care this year and it's a lot of the same patients where they started before I ever saw them on my unit. This is where they began. But it's definitely a lot. It definitely tests your patience. When I started at ICU, I was like, I don't think I'm really burnt out. I think I just want to change.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
And then a few months in, I was like, oh, I was really burnt out. And I didn't even realize it. I was so impatient. And it's hard. You know, they're brain injured. You know, it's not their fault. You know, they have no control, but they're still saying and doing terrible things all the time. So it's really hard to separate.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
Yeah, I think so. My brother and my family, they're not in nursing. And I always tell them my crazy stories because they don't live here either. So they wouldn't know any of the people. And they're like, how do you do that? And I'm like, honestly, it puts your own life in perspective because you're like, man, things could always be worse.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
Whenever people ask me what working on Nero is like, I'm like, well, I had a man with half a skull and seven point restraints choose catheter out of his penis.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
I hope you feel better fast. Thank you. I would like to do a quick shout out to my sisters. My sisters also have unique names, so I'm not going to single them out by names. My cousin Cara, I will call out. She is the world's biggest Armchair Anonymous fan. She listens like every morning at 7 a.m., And I was so close to calling it today.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Nurses II
I knew it was a once in a lifetime opportunity, but I was like, I can't. But I was like, she'll kill me. You did great as a nurse would.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Be Excellent and Be Thirsty
Bobby, what do you have to tell me? Like, can you hurry up? I've got things to do. Okay.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Be Excellent and Be Thirsty
I don't even know what you're talking about right now. All you have to do is ask me questions and listen and compliment.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Be Excellent and Be Thirsty
I mean, it would have been better, but I'm not sure why he needed to focus on everything else except our date. Look, I can't do all those things.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Be Excellent and Be Thirsty
I think I'm good. Really? I don't want to be with someone who just likes to grandstand.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Be Excellent and Be Thirsty
Tori, what do you think? I'm going to pass.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Be Excellent and Be Thirsty
Honestly, he came on way too strong at the end and acted just like a simp. Oh, simp behavior.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Be Excellent and Be Thirsty
Is this like some internet thing or?
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Be Excellent and Be Thirsty
I mean, it was a date.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Be Excellent and Be Thirsty
I mean, it's, Kind of just felt like I was on a date with someone who was giving attention to everyone and everything else except me.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Be Excellent and Be Thirsty
Even when we first got to the restaurant, we were waiting and he offered to show some people that were lost away to the museum.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Be Excellent and Be Thirsty
Yeah, but I was starving and we lost our reservation, so we had to wait another 30 minutes.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Be Excellent and Be Thirsty
Oh, I'm trying to understand where your thought process is. I mean, that was just one part of the date. Like, even when we were inside, he would compliment the waitstaff. How dare he? He never once complimented me.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Be Excellent and Be Thirsty
No, I mean, even when I was in the middle of a story, I was telling him about my vacation to Europe, and he got up in the middle of it and went and picked up a napkin somebody else dropped at another table. Oh.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Be Excellent and Be Thirsty
Yeah, and like, even at the end, he held the door open for someone else and then went out behind them, not holding the door for me.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Be Excellent and Be Thirsty
He didn't seem nervous and he was super nice, polite, talkative with everyone else. Okay.
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Be Excellent and Be Thirsty
I mean, what was the point of me being there if you weren't going to give any attention or participate in the date at all?
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update: Be Excellent and Be Thirsty
Why would I do that? Give attention to someone who clearly didn't have the time of day for me? No.