Tommy

Huh?

N-U-S-H-Y. Munchie. Shroomies. Say it again.

Gin. This is way harder.

Something we know. Entrepreneur.

All right, I'm good. I'm locked in. Hold on.

Arachnophobia. I think I would like to phone a friend. Okay.

Shut up. She's not going to know this.

Dennis Miller.

H? N-A?

Arachna.

Tumultuous. But you said it differently before. I did. Tumultuous.

Two... Mole... Two... No. No. T-U-M. You had it. Two mole... Two...

Something with the top down. You know what I'm talking about? The door is open.

Man.

Sure. A couple of fucking extra headbutts.

The spin zone. I'm winning.

I love Monica Bocelli. You don't know who she is?

18,200.

18,212.

22.

100,005.

Start wrecking the crew.

Call me my fucking dad, bitch.

Whoa.

12, 11?

Hey guys, Tommy here. It's been a long time since you've heard from us on Crooked Minis. Well, a lot has changed since 2022, with so much at stake in the next four years. Crooked Media is here to help you break down with sharp analysis, a healthy dose of dumb jokes, and most importantly, ways to take action.

You'll hear from voices across the political spectrum through special Pod Save America episodes, original YouTube content, and more. You can find it all at crooked.com. But right now, we want to share our exciting new limited series made in partnership with Campside Media that we know you're going to love, Shadow Kingdom, God's Banker.

Every day, a new political corruption scandal seems to make headlines. But in Shadow Kingdom, host and lawyer Niccolo Mainoni takes us back to one of the most shocking cases of all. In 1982, Roberto Calvi, chairman of Banco Ambrosiano... and financier to the Vatican, was found hanging under a London bridge, sending shockwaves through Italy.

His death exposed a web of organized crime, secret societies, and political manipulation. But 40 years later, Niccolo got a tip that there might be more to the story. Now he's on a quest to uncover the truth behind the murder of God's banker. God's banker. The murder of God's banker. Beat that log line, Hollywood. Beat that fucking log line.

I'm excited to bring to you an exclusive clip from episode one. Make sure you stay tuned for the premiere of Shadow Kingdom on March 17th right here in this feed or binge all episodes starting March 17th by subscribing to Friends of the Pod at crooked.com slash friends.

Taylor, I don't mean to be rude, but why the fuck are you laughing all the time? I don't get it. Sorry, apologies for my language, but honestly, I find it unbelievable. What are you laughing at?

Yes, ma'am. And you didn't know about it? I wasn't smart enough to keep my nose in the books, and I trusted her 100%.

13 years. It's my second marriage. Okay.

Well, she left me because she knew I'd be really upset, and she went to her mother. So she says she's getting counseling every week, but I'm not sure it's for the gambling problem.

She's going to a Christian counselor, and I'm not sure she's admitting that she has a gambling problem yet.

Right.

No, we have contact every day now. Okay. And we plan to get together again. She's just been kind of dragging her feet as to when.

Yes, they are. Okay.

One card is just in her name that was kind of hidden, and the others are in both our names.

Um, not very much. I have a $10,000 IRA and I have a 5,000 in checking right now. And my wife has a little IRA and she, she won't tell me how much is in it, but I don't think it's more than 50, 50,000, 50,000. Yes.

Yes. About 53. Okay.

You may have been drawing out of that without telling me, too. I mean, there's some dishonesty here. Yeah, well, yeah, obviously a lot. Yeah, and I don't have access to her IRA, which I should.

It's our two Social Securities, and I'm a retired teacher.

I finished. We've been full-time RVers for quite a while, but I finished a one-bedroom house last summer, and we finally moved into it, and I'm trying to finish it off completely, and I need about another $30,000 to put the final touches on it.

Good morning and thank you for taking the call. Sure.

Well, I'm a 75-year-old senior with a 68-year-old wife. And I found a month and a half ago that I was $53,000 in debt on credit cards. I thought I was debt-free for quite a while now. And I come to find out that there was money being put against the credit cards from casinos mostly, uh, for the last five years.

Anyway, right now I'm lined up to borrow $80,000 of the credit union at 6.6 to 5% 30 year amortization, but it's a balloon payment. And the reason I went with that is cause I, I can pay different amounts, at different times because I make $30,000 to $50,000 extra approximately every year over our retirement. Our retirement income is $57.35 a month.

We're getting a lot of phone calls from him.

Well, he really wasn't happy that I guess somebody said he was autistic on the show. I don't even remember that. I feel like I may have done that.

He was asking for a Christmas present back around the holidays. He was saying something really nice because his clips have been doing so well. And it's funny because he's calling us, but he keeps saying Tom Segura, but he knows it's us. Tom Segura, send me a present. Cool.

and then he also asked for a percentage at some point of I guess the Clips whatever the clip you're making you wanted like 10% Yes, he had a manager the manager left him.

Sure, yeah.

I couldn't get it from him when we needed to pick him up.

And I told him, I'm sorry we don't have it. And he really had a hard time accepting it.

I bet he loved that. You guys kept sneaking him in.

Let me pull it up.

Uh, no, we don't have the other choke.

I don't recall a second choke, actually.

If you go back a couple episodes.

Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

Man, she's got a tight little snatch on her, huh?

That's craziness, man.

This is crazy. Written in the letter, sir.

all right let's let's get into this show you ready to start the show this is gonna be insane i really hate when they eat it and then they realize that my garfield is gripping their tongue and so now they just want to feel it they need to feel it they have to feel it i don't have time for that like

if you're gonna eat me out i got i got my grandpa's great it's grand i'm telling you right now so if you want to eat me out fine but if you want to go past that just don't even start because when i grip your tongue you don't damn sure i want to penetrate hell yeah yeah welcome to your mom's house what's wrong with that