Tina Fey

And this kid was just like not listening. So he goes, what is a vampire? And I give the whole speech. And at the end of it, he looks at me, he goes, but Professor, what is a vampire? And he gave me this. Same cue again. Then the kid who played Dracula was this kid, John Doyle, who was like very like Bon Jovi based. Like his personality was Bon Jovi based. Beautiful hair.

And this kid was just like not listening. So he goes, what is a vampire? And I give the whole speech. And at the end of it, he looks at me, he goes, but Professor, what is a vampire? And he gave me this. Same cue again. Then the kid who played Dracula was this kid, John Doyle, who was like very like Bon Jovi based. Like his personality was Bon Jovi based. Beautiful hair.

And this kid was just like not listening. So he goes, what is a vampire? And I give the whole speech. And at the end of it, he looks at me, he goes, but Professor, what is a vampire? And he gave me this. Same cue again. Then the kid who played Dracula was this kid, John Doyle, who was like very like Bon Jovi based. Like his personality was Bon Jovi based. Beautiful hair.

Rocker hair, beautiful hair. His mom was a hairdresser and his mom was also a professional Angeline impersonator. Side story.

Rocker hair, beautiful hair. His mom was a hairdresser and his mom was also a professional Angeline impersonator. Side story.

Rocker hair, beautiful hair. His mom was a hairdresser and his mom was also a professional Angeline impersonator. Side story.

We'll double back. And so John, you know, because he was like, he was like, oh, he takes rock singing lessons in New York. Like he was cool guy. He was not an athlete. And so there's a scene where there's a mirror and Dracula like sees the mirror and he's supposed to throw this like chalice or something and smash the mirror.

We'll double back. And so John, you know, because he was like, he was like, oh, he takes rock singing lessons in New York. Like he was cool guy. He was not an athlete. And so there's a scene where there's a mirror and Dracula like sees the mirror and he's supposed to throw this like chalice or something and smash the mirror.

We'll double back. And so John, you know, because he was like, he was like, oh, he takes rock singing lessons in New York. Like he was cool guy. He was not an athlete. And so there's a scene where there's a mirror and Dracula like sees the mirror and he's supposed to throw this like chalice or something and smash the mirror.

And so John being like not an athlete and in this open arena, like I go a mirror and then he like, throws the thing, misses the mirror entirely. So then I'm trying to improvise, like, what am I supposed to say? And then a full 20 seconds later, a little techie kid comes out in full view of the audience with a hammer from behind and smashes the mirror.

And so John being like not an athlete and in this open arena, like I go a mirror and then he like, throws the thing, misses the mirror entirely. So then I'm trying to improvise, like, what am I supposed to say? And then a full 20 seconds later, a little techie kid comes out in full view of the audience with a hammer from behind and smashes the mirror.

And so John being like not an athlete and in this open arena, like I go a mirror and then he like, throws the thing, misses the mirror entirely. So then I'm trying to improvise, like, what am I supposed to say? And then a full 20 seconds later, a little techie kid comes out in full view of the audience with a hammer from behind and smashes the mirror.

Oh, at one point also, then the set caught on fire a little bit. There was like a little flash pot and the fake rocks of the castle were foam and started to catch on fire. And then my dad, who had been a fireman and did not fuck around, he stood up and he was like, fire! And we were like, okay. He stood up in the audience. This is like all act one. And then... Put the fire out. We continued.

Oh, at one point also, then the set caught on fire a little bit. There was like a little flash pot and the fake rocks of the castle were foam and started to catch on fire. And then my dad, who had been a fireman and did not fuck around, he stood up and he was like, fire! And we were like, okay. He stood up in the audience. This is like all act one. And then... Put the fire out. We continued.

Oh, at one point also, then the set caught on fire a little bit. There was like a little flash pot and the fake rocks of the castle were foam and started to catch on fire. And then my dad, who had been a fireman and did not fuck around, he stood up and he was like, fire! And we were like, okay. He stood up in the audience. This is like all act one. And then... Put the fire out. We continued.

It's a longer story than you wanted. And then again, the techies, like there's a part where like, there's a techie just like in a bay window, just like in full view of the audience with a fog machine, just being like, knowing he's just like a total hero. And then the end of the, the whole thing ended with like Van Helsing kills Dracula with a spike through the heart.

It's a longer story than you wanted. And then again, the techies, like there's a part where like, there's a techie just like in a bay window, just like in full view of the audience with a fog machine, just being like, knowing he's just like a total hero. And then the end of the, the whole thing ended with like Van Helsing kills Dracula with a spike through the heart.

It's a longer story than you wanted. And then again, the techies, like there's a part where like, there's a techie just like in a bay window, just like in full view of the audience with a fog machine, just being like, knowing he's just like a total hero. And then the end of the, the whole thing ended with like Van Helsing kills Dracula with a spike through the heart.

And it was, and I'm down and I'm like acting so hard and I'm doing this whole speech. And then I just hear laughter. And I was like, this, this can't be good. This is the end of the whole thing. Because again, the stage flat audience here, I was like lightning flashing. I'm killing the vampire. And I look up and just a toddler has wandered onto the stage toward me. And that's how not scary it was.

And it was, and I'm down and I'm like acting so hard and I'm doing this whole speech. And then I just hear laughter. And I was like, this, this can't be good. This is the end of the whole thing. Because again, the stage flat audience here, I was like lightning flashing. I'm killing the vampire. And I look up and just a toddler has wandered onto the stage toward me. And that's how not scary it was.