Terry Framo
Appearances
The Commercial Break
Health, Wealth & A Paladium Ping-Pang!
What is normal marital hatred? The essential rhythm of all relationships is harmony, disharmony, and repair. Closeness.
The Commercial Break
Health, Wealth & A Paladium Ping-Pang!
disruption and a return to closeness. That's where the skills come in, how to move from disruption to repair. Our culture doesn't teach it. We don't deal with reality. The father of couples therapy back in the 50s said, the day you turn to the person who's next to you and you say, this is a mistake. I've been had. This is not the person I fell in love with.
The Commercial Break
Health, Wealth & A Paladium Ping-Pang!
That said, Framo is the first day of your real marriage.
The Commercial Break
Health, Wealth & A Paladium Ping-Pang!
what I want to say about disharmony. It hurts. It's dark. You can really, really feel like, what the hell did I get myself into? This is such a disappointment. And guess what? Your partner's probably feeling that about you too. I talk about normal marital hatred when you're in that dark phase. You hate your partner. That's okay. It's part of the deal for many of us.
The Commercial Break
Health, Wealth & A Paladium Ping-Pang!
I've been going around the world talking about normal marital hatred for, oh my God, what, 30 years. This is true. Not one person has ever come backstage and said, Terry, what do you mean by that?