Stefan Speaks
Appearances
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Jay’s Must-Listens: 6 Love Experts Reveal How to Finally Attract the Right Relationship! Featuring Joe Dispenza & Lori Gottlieb
So to me, again, I think it always starts with self. And you have to be honest with yourself about why are you still here? Why are you holding on? What's really driving you? Because just use an example, let's say you're a woman and the only reason why you're holding on to this guy is because he's a nice guy. You don't feel like starting the process over with somebody else.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Jay’s Must-Listens: 6 Love Experts Reveal How to Finally Attract the Right Relationship! Featuring Joe Dispenza & Lori Gottlieb
So, even though you're not feeling it with him, you figure let me try to make it work. You're wasting your time. This is where you're setting yourself up for disaster every single time. So, if it's not born out of a true connection, love, a genuine desire, you really like this individual.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Jay’s Must-Listens: 6 Love Experts Reveal How to Finally Attract the Right Relationship! Featuring Joe Dispenza & Lori Gottlieb
Of course, there's always things we have to work through but is the foundation strong enough for us to say okay, we can make something special here.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Jay’s Must-Listens: 6 Love Experts Reveal How to Finally Attract the Right Relationship! Featuring Joe Dispenza & Lori Gottlieb
And I think once we are honest with ourselves that kind of helps answer the question because sometimes we get so caught up trying to analyze the other individual that it's like we get in our heads and now we're missing the mark on what's really important here. And we can't always say for sure what's going on with them.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Jay’s Must-Listens: 6 Love Experts Reveal How to Finally Attract the Right Relationship! Featuring Joe Dispenza & Lori Gottlieb
I will say that in general if this person isn't willing to talk about things they're wasting your time. If they're not willing to address or correct things that have been talked about they're wasting your time. If you guys aren't on the same page about what you want and where you want to go in life wasting time.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Jay’s Must-Listens: 6 Love Experts Reveal How to Finally Attract the Right Relationship! Featuring Joe Dispenza & Lori Gottlieb
So, there are some things I think we can just look at and say listen, this is pointless here. But a lot of times and I have to say this especially for women Women's intuition is extremely powerful. I'm a huge believer in it. And I feel like women know very early this isn't it. But they rationalize reasons to convince themselves to give this man a chance.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Jay’s Must-Listens: 6 Love Experts Reveal How to Finally Attract the Right Relationship! Featuring Joe Dispenza & Lori Gottlieb
And this again is a waste of time because it just doesn't work. I've seen people turn what should have been maybe a couple weeks of dating into years of being married to someone they were not happy with. all because they did not listen to themselves from the beginning. They knew what it was, but they just could not accept it for what it was.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Jay’s Must-Listens: 6 Love Experts Reveal How to Finally Attract the Right Relationship! Featuring Joe Dispenza & Lori Gottlieb
Are you even being yourself or can you be yourself with this individual? If you're... presenting your representative then this is not a real connection. This is them falling for that person that you're presenting but that's not real. So, to me you should be already being yourself but with that person you have a connection with it's a more natural flow. We don't have to force it.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Jay’s Must-Listens: 6 Love Experts Reveal How to Finally Attract the Right Relationship! Featuring Joe Dispenza & Lori Gottlieb
We just feel so much more comfortable around them. I think in addition to that is when you find yourself all caught up in the moment and caught up in that chemistry again, you have to ask yourself what am I really attaching myself to? What do I really like about this individual? What I find is that when it's really about chemistry we're still on the surface. you don't really know about them yet.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Jay’s Must-Listens: 6 Love Experts Reveal How to Finally Attract the Right Relationship! Featuring Joe Dispenza & Lori Gottlieb
You just know you guys had a good time, maybe you had fun at this event, you guys were able to talk about a lot of different things which is great, which is going to also be important if there is a connection. However, Do you even know what kind of relationship they want? Do you know what kind of life they want to live? You know, are you guys really on the same page?
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Jay’s Must-Listens: 6 Love Experts Reveal How to Finally Attract the Right Relationship! Featuring Joe Dispenza & Lori Gottlieb
I think connection is our paths align, our purposes align. So, for us to align we have to have a deeper understanding of where we're headed and can we head there together. So, that's why I think though you may feel it or you may feel like you're feeling it you have to do your due diligence to dig deeper to find out okay, is this just I got caught up on the surface or there is something real here.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Jay’s Must-Listens: 6 Love Experts Reveal How to Finally Attract the Right Relationship! Featuring Joe Dispenza & Lori Gottlieb
And I think once we ask enough questions because I think that's the other big problem. We have this experience where we feel this chemistry, we're so excited and now we're afraid to ask questions because we don't want to blow up the fantasy. Yes. You know what I'm saying? We're just like no, no.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Jay’s Must-Listens: 6 Love Experts Reveal How to Finally Attract the Right Relationship! Featuring Joe Dispenza & Lori Gottlieb
I want to keep believing this is great so let me not ask anything, let me not run this person away, let me not rock the boat. But that's going to be what tells us if this is real or not.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Jay’s Must-Listens: 6 Love Experts Reveal How to Finally Attract the Right Relationship! Featuring Joe Dispenza & Lori Gottlieb
Yes.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Jay’s Must-Listens: 6 Love Experts Reveal How to Finally Attract the Right Relationship! Featuring Joe Dispenza & Lori Gottlieb
Absolutely. And that's why it's so important for us to know who we are so that we can present the real from the jump, you know. Because again, a lot of times people, you know, this idea that we're always changing. Yes, I do think we're always evolving, but some of the big shifts that you see it's not because that's just the way life is.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Jay’s Must-Listens: 6 Love Experts Reveal How to Finally Attract the Right Relationship! Featuring Joe Dispenza & Lori Gottlieb
It's because you didn't take the time to figure yourself out first. And then you got with this person and now you want them to adjust. Now, thank God for you she was able to adjust but there's a lot of people that they can't handle that. And now everything falls apart from there. So, that's why yeah, we have to be very careful with what we're presenting from the beginning. That's pure gold.