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Stavros Halkias

Appearances

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1000.256

Yeah, yeah. I mean, the east side where it's like all the fucking white drug dealers truly was like right around my neighborhood.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1008.719

And like on that side of town. You know, I was just, I was a very, we didn't get cable until pretty late in the game. So I was just like, I was making do with reruns, Seinfeld kid.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1022.324

I'm 35. You're 35 and didn't have cable when you were young? No, I mean, I was... Is that immigrant shit? Yeah, we were fucking poor. And also, my dad didn't give a fuck about... We got cable as soon as he could get satellite TV and watch Greek shit. And so then we had, like, a couple channels.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1052.783

Oh, no, Dish Network swept Greektown. Are you kidding me? It was like one after, once you saw one dish go up, it fucking, every fucking ceiling.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1062.789

Yeah, I wish. They definitely, yeah, you couldn't steal Dish Network like you could cable.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1070.775

First, yeah, first cable. And I think we got it when I was in like, you know, Maybe I was in, like, middle school at some point.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1076.938

But I just watched... I was just, like, the classic, you get home, whatever's on in that syndicated... Three, six, and ten.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1089.707

I mean, I was poor is the difference. Like, being fucking, you know, being... Like, being poor makes it feel like I was Gen X in certain ways. Like, I'm not an internet... I didn't have the internet until fucking... We had dial-up when I was, again, in middle school.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1107.018

We had to do it. I printed pictures and jacked off to them. We'd go to freeones.com. Yeah. I spent a lot of time trying to find naked WWE ladies. Shout out to Sable. Yeah, Sable. A lot of stuff. There was a couple fakes that I still think of. I don't jack off to them, but I think of them fondly. There you go. Maybe I'll incorporate them in the appetizer part of jerking off.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1130.73

When you're just kind of thinking about stuff.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1155.239

A lot of ink. Still the same amount of ink, though. I know. The paper's not the problem.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1341.63

Yeah, dude, it was fucking, it was hilarious. And then we got, there was a weird period where we had dial-ups so late that, like, Kazaa and all that other shit is already around. Like, downloading MP3s and videos is already happening. But because it was dial-up, to download a video, I would literally just put it on all night.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1361.314

And we just wouldn't have a telephone.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1368.115

Yeah, it was awesome. My parents were such immigrants that they had no idea how the computer worked at all. And then one day, my mom... Like, it was atrocious. She just, like... She just, like, figured... Took some class at the library, and it was just like... Fucking bamboozled you.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1384.579

Yeah, my... I never even... I was so fucking cocky, I never even bothered to clear my internet history. I was like, I'm not... I'm not fucking losing these memories. I need to know what to jack off to. And it was just like, you know, bang bus.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1400.491

My mom didn't know how to use a computer. There was even one that was like, and then, you know, it would link you. I think, you know, you would link to other shit. There wasn't like the tube sites. You would go on specific websites. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you would watch the teasers. Shout out to the teenagers. And I got deep.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1417.745

And then, you know, it's fucked up what a teenage boy, like children now, what they're getting into. It must be insane. But one of the sites, you just are like, let's see the most fucking weird shit.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1427.747

And one of them was literally crackwhores.com. And I just remember hearing my mother, who I've never used a computer ever in her life, just yell like, what is crackwhores.com in her fucking Greek accent? I was like, ah, we must. And the classic. We got a virus, ma. A virus was big.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1452.356

You think I'm on crackhorse.com? And that one's fucked up because that did... I remember going on it and horrifying me, but it still was in the fucking... I'm still jerked off to it. No, it actually made me, like, for a second, rethink what I was doing.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1480.718

Oh, hell yeah, dude.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1496.393

That is good stuff.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1498.576

Back to the TV.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

151.821

Just of Baltimore. Very narrow jurisdiction. It's a niche. I was banished from Mount Olympus. They're like, we don't want you in Greece. Here's a small, struggling mid-Atlantic city.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1524.002

It would be like, sorry to age you, but it would just be like fucking, you know, Seinfeld. Frasier or something like that.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1534.872

Hogan's Heroes is insane, dude. Fucking Green Gables. Green Acres, whatever it was. Yeah, yeah. No, it was like that. And then also I was a big fan of UPN programming. Shout out to UPN. Well, actually, Steve Harvey Show was WB.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1554.142

girl shout out to girlfriend with mr cooper hang with mr cooper but that that was i believe that was that was mainstream yeah that was like three that was like abc cb that was something back to hogan's heroes yeah yeah yeah back to yes what year was hogan's hero the last episode with 1971

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1585.019

UPN was 24 for us.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1608.044

See, occasionally you would catch one of those on like a weird.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1614.028

But I will say Foley is right in that you would, channels would like kind of like use that as old shit as Foley.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1622.295

But it wasn't like, you know.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1632.342

For honest Americans. Yeah, I was a big, yeah, big, big, the whole, all that, all those syndicated shows, Simpsons, all that kind of shit.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1667.625

What?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1670.486

It's not garbage to put it on a baked potato. I agree with that. You guys are out of your fucking minds. A baked potato is an elevated form of a potato. I mean. Listen, if you're getting into a fucking steakhouse. Anything with bacon bits on it. You're getting into a steakhouse. You know what I mean? You're fucking squirting some fucking.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1688.753

That's not crazy. That's a classic.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1696.681

Loaded. No, once it's loaded, it's not classy.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1700.645

It's classy when they give you a little fucking tray and there's a little thing, a little ramekin of chives, a little ramekin of butter and sour cream. Sure. That's class. That's a classy potato.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

173.857

Good, man. Thanks for having me, boys. Thank you. Last minute, you know, we were just texting yesterday.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1735.529

Well, what we're talking about now, though, is you've transformed the form of the potato, right? Because you've made it more of a Western fry. You've kind of put it in quarters, and that is fine. You have met. That's fine.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1752.218

Listen fully.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1758.883

I slap him with a glove. Yeah, I think we've said it before, but it's like the Lincoln-Douglas debates for fat guys. But a baked potato, when you slice it up, and then especially if you slice it and then pop it back in to get a toast, you've essentially recategorized it as a fry, as a Western fry.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1781.872

I'm just saying if you... I like where your head's at, though.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1787.318

But if it is served as a baked potato... Bakedpotatoes.net, gang. We have to have some kind of... We have to have some kind of respect for each different form of potato.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1796.83

You know? Like, are you putting fucking ketchup on scalloped potatoes?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

181.942

Just got a little day date going. It was great. I love it. I wanted to, I got, I want to promote the tour, the Dreamboat tour. I'm hitting the road. I pretty much took all of last year off. And so, yeah, I was like, let's hop, let's hop in the fucking, let's get in the basement, baby.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1821.2

This is the reason it's absolutely garbage because mashed potatoes on their own are almost always garbage. Like not good? They're teetering on the garbage. Not good or trashy?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1838.148

That's so fucked up.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1841.691

What are you, lubricating the burger down your throat? You want it to travel down your gullet easier? Do you dip the burger in the mashed potatoes a little bit?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1863.104

Okay, a mashed potato, if it's ever going to be not trashed, is a side to something with a protein and a vegetable, and it should come with maybe a little... See, that's the thing. If it's not going to be trash, it does come with some kind of sauce, maybe an au jus, some other kind of dipping sauce. Sure. But once you take the mashed potato and you take it to its lower forms...

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1888.234

Boxed, for example. Boxed, mashed, never not trashed. No, 100%. It doesn't exist. Even at a fucking diner, mashed potatoes, I would even say ketchup might be the dividing line to when mashed potatoes become trashed or not. Wow. Because if it's fucked up to even conceive of asking for ketchup at a place where they have mashed potatoes, that's a classy mashed potato. Yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1913.641

But if someone would bring you ketchup without a second thought, it's trash 100%.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1923.148

Yeah, exactly.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1926.87

You want me to fucking pour mayo down your throat, too? Who fucking cares?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1937.579

So, you know, this is good. I'm glad we went through this thought.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1964.985

It's not like you're saving a box. It's the ease, though. It's the ease.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

197.452

Let's get the boys back together. Let's see what.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1974.751

That's like fish bait. What do you mean canned? A whole potato canned?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1993.785

I'll allow it. I'm interested.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

1997.589

You have to transform them, though, again.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2000.051

They're a chopped ingredient. With a little bit of onions.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2013.382

And shout out to the trash version, Guy's Grocery Game. Yes. If Chopped is a little too heady for you.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

202.695

What chain restaurant can we discuss for an hour?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2022.689

If they're making food that you don't like that's icky. Right.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2026.372

If you're listening to this podcast, watch Guy's Grocery Game.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2035.759

He's bringing every family member as a job. He's got his whole crew. Everyone's like, what the fuck?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2061.988

That's not real.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2077.492

I have done that. Great, because you can layer it. You can layer it, yep. Good? You're in? Absolutely. Okay. You want to also microwave. If you're going to use refried beans, microwave those on their own. Oh. Because they won't heat. They'll heat slower than a chip or a cheese or a protein. I never make nachos.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2118.744

It's so good. It's good. I don't know about the flavor, though. And then I would take them- I'm sorry.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2128.895

First of all, I do it. I also do it. I'm just talking about the way to do it.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2137.646

I microwave nachos. I'm not above microwaving nachos.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2145.303

Yeah. Well, Greek yogurt.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2148.545

But before we had Greek yogurt, before Greek yogurt was readily available in America, we made do with sour cream. What's the difference?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2166.015

I mean, if you even want to be, if you want to be like indulgent, try the full fat Greek yogurt. It's better than sour cream. And then if you want to be – you can actually have a sort of healthy meal with zero-fat Greek yogurt, and it's got – and it tastes pretty much like sour cream.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2191.79

Yeah, that's like, again, a child's way of thinking. It's just like, well, yogurt's sweet.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2218.255

Well, let's tell you, you know, Greek food, tzatziki, our white sauce. What the fuck do you think that is?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2227.999

There we go.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2236.342

You got to shred the cucumber. I don't want to shit on them. I love that restaurant.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

224.653

Yeah, exactly.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2243.753

I mean, a couple, if I get the right waiters, yeah. Yeah. But, you know.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2250.597

I don't go, I think if I went more maybe, just because it's like, Greek people, anyone who's even a little famous in Greek.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2259.082

They'll fucking, yeah, they'll pile on.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2266.386

It's fucking awesome.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2268.768

I'll go to Bodega in Astoria and see a poster for a guy that was, like, selling out arenas in Athens 10 years ago. Yeah. And he's playing, like, you know, still kind of big shows. He's doing, like, QED or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'll be like, holy shit, this is, like, who I grew up. My parents were playing this music. Yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

227.535

I'm going bus.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2284.257

And this guy's, like, you know, three blocks from my fucking apartment. They wheel him out like Frankie Valli.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2289.58

Dude, shout out to Frankie Valli.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

229.457

I'm excited for that. Yeah, it is like it is basically you guys said it's like summer camp. It's a it's a I mean, it's a very expensive summer. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's so it's sad what culture has deteriorated to where guys like you and me can afford tour buses. But we'll take it. You know what I mean?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2295.804

No, no, no. He's not chewing anything. Yeah, he's eating through a bag, dude.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2307.052

Okay, ketchup on mashed potatoes does sound like a thing you put in a bag.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2314.497

Yeah, your grandpa can't, you know, he has esophageal cancer.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2320.92

It's like, all right, let's give him a little treat. Let's microwave ketchup and fucking mashed potatoes and pour it down his gullet.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2351.369

I've done. I've done the there's apps that tell you like how you should play blackjack. And I've done that. I've played. I'm like, you know what, dude? By the time I get off this fucking flight, I'm going to be tight. I'm going to know every move to make. I'm going to, you know, and then you lose $400. They always win instantly.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2382.627

Yeah, that's how the game is set up. What do you mean? First of all, they don't always get blackjack.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2430.506

That's what a casino is.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2451.562

Thinking dealers got the job to say win blackjack.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2469.371

I'm a roulette man. A true game of skill. He's on a website that's like roulette fucking practice. Black, black, black. Fuck, dude. I got to get better at this.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2485.596

I got to think red more, harder. Red, red, red, red. He's dressed in all red. Simulator was the word I couldn't come up with. I was on a roulette simulator.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2500.495

Most people have like a fucking flight simulator. Foley's got a fake roulette wheel in his house.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

251.675

It really is pathetic. Even the theaters, I feel like, why am I here? This should be like an opera. They have opera in the same places.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2604.999

Are you a gambler at all or no? Not really. No. I gambled a little bit. I just don't like the way it does feel. I feel that like... I get hooked almost instantly. Yeah, it's great. It's the adrenaline. I got to keep going. I got to get this back. Sure. Or even sports gambling. It's a little fun in theory, but to put a little something on a game, but it's like- You start chasing it. It's tough.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2630.713

You start chasing it. It's like, I have enough money that I could lose. I used to gamble a little bit when I was a kid. I was friends with kids who just ended up being gambling addicts.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2643.305

Yeah, I had a kid who played cards for a while.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2646.308

They always busted out. Yeah, another kid who lost a shit ton of fucking money. But because of that, as a 14-year-old, I had access to people with bookies. Sure. So we would put in like... you know, $20 bets on, like, the Packers in, like, Monday Night Football just to make it fun or whatever, you know? And then we would play Texas Hold'em at that kid's house, whatever, but no, I can't gamble.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

268.81

So 100%. But until society catches up with the mistakes they've made, until we've reckoned with how bankrupt we are culturally, I'm going to take full advantage of it. And, you know, this is a running theme, obviously, in terms of the subtext of your podcast and my life is like struggling with being fat as shit, I think. I don't think you've seen the show, Stopper.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2682.334

With glass, with like those fucking mirrored glasses.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2686.277

Yeah, yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2689.578

It's a goddamn christening.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2690.939

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not fucking. Yeah. Ah, man. You're not Chris Moneymaker.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2695.802

You're not fucking.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2794.47

Put it in the bank. Stay even, and then everything's fun. And then everything's fun.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2804.655

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Go get a baseball steak. I mean, fucking, the way they also have slot machines now, it really is like, it's like designed to trick you into just being like,

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2819.203

I don't understand what the fuck is going on. I have no idea what's going on, but it feels like a video game. And that's the thing that like, it got me like an old guy where I was in Vegas. I hadn't been to Vegas, you know, for until I was like in, I mean, pretty recently, like when I toured there, maybe four years ago, five years ago.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2837.448

And I went, and it just totally slot machines got me like an old guy. And it's kind of funny. You're just like mindless. Someone brings you drinks.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2871.551

Come on, Vanna White, just because she showed a little cleavage, show a little fuck.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2876.313

What is this, Saudi Arabia? She's got to cover up for you?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2879.914

All of a sudden, you're on your high horse. And you know what? I would love to see those women rehabilitated and flipping fucking... Flipping letters. Flipping letters at a local... Because that's how Vanna White got her job, right? She was the best at flipping letters. There was local... Local regional. Local regional games of fucking... She won sectionals.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2897.941

I think, by the way, so what's-his-face retired?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2902.062

Why the fuck isn't Vanna White hosting the fucking show?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2906.904

That's crazy. She's been in the number two chair the whole time. I don't get it.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2913.225

Get the fuck Seacrest.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2915.586

Get the fuck Seacrest. Vanna White should have that, and there should be a fucking nice piece of ass flipping. A guy. A guy.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2926.231

It's fucked up. What happened to progress in this country? You're not wrong.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

296.4

Are you sure you're talking about this show? I respect this because you guys take other – I'm all food, and you guys have the whole trash – you know what I mean?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2983.623

Putting cream in soda is unequivocally the most fucked up part of that thing.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

2996.057

It's like it's a bit. And he wasn't kidding. That's the best part.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3010.546

They used to feed Mr. Ed Coke and cream. That's how they got the fucking horse to talk. They'd rub his fucking gums with milk and fucking Dr. Pepper.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

303.863

We've had other aspects of life. Other environmental – but it all comes down to poor health.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3051.269

I'm against that also that's TikTok shit but so Dua Lipa does it right she's the only person I know hot broad oh yeah she is she is very hot talented very talented some bangers I you know I'll throw Dua Lipa on and do some lat pull downs in the gym you know what I'm saying sure it's upbeat I also think I'm impressing a hot woman it's you know what I mean you're like oh look I'm an ally I like your music high BPM you know I'm like maybe she you know maybe a sexy girl that kind of looks like Dua Lipa might see my fucking bum maybe she sucks me off

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3081.107

Just whatever it takes to get through that set. Let's get back to the matter at hand. More Green Acres talk. I'd love to adjudicate whether this is trash or not. And the milk is really the tough part for me because – So you're okay with the combo? Well, here's what I'm saying. What's classy is, you see this a lot at fancy coffee shops, is a espresso in like a fucking seltzer.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

310.225

Lead paint, whatever, not getting enough fresh air. Did you say lead paint?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3112.13

No. Oh. No, that's also, but you're onto something there.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3116.793

Affogato gave me my dicks.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3124.639

Yeah, I can't help it. So that's, you know, affogato, classy.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3130.083

Seltzer with an espresso. Classy.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3135.407

I've tried it, not my cup of tea.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3138.79

Definitely, definitely. The soda, why it's a little fucked up is how sweet the soda is.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3147.072

You know what I mean? I'm not opposed to, because a soda is merely seltzer with some sugar, but it's so much sugar, and the flavor is so, it's Dr. Pepper, which is trash-coated. You know what I mean? Sure, I agree. It's great, though. I have to land on trashy, unfortunately.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

316.487

Asbestos. Asbestos, that kind. You guys are trying to find all the biomarkers of poor health.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3167.636

And maybe this is me being a- Listen, I agree with you.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3181.965

I was in Europe, actually. I don't know. I was in London, maybe, or even- Hello! Very good.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3189.71

And I swear to God, I think they had coffee Coke. Where it was Coke with coffee. Yeah. Yeah, we have that. And I had to try it, and it was pretty good, but there's no way that's classy.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3202.141

No, those are pretty good. What's that? It's like this Italian- It's a coffee-flavored, it's a special-flavored soda.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3216.694

They have a diet version of it.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3219.196

If there's a diet, what would the diet be? It's definitely sweet as fuck, actually.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

322.349

Whereas I'm just at food –

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3230.546

If this is the same soda I had, it was just a fully sugar soda.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3237.091

It says Manhattan Special on it. Yeah, it's got like a lady on it. Yes. Dude, it's a fucking... What do you got?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3253.062

What? That's fucking nuts. I probably had to diet one. It was... No, that's also sweet. Diet Coke is not not sweet. You're goddamn right. Ooh.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

327.432

Yeah, that cotton candy insulation. How good did that look to you?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3279.56

Yeah. I think the simpler you go with something, the easier it is to make it classy.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

331.415

You know how many times he left me alone at Home Depot, and I'm just staring, and it's like, am I taking a bite? Is this the day I finally take a bite of the pink pants?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3321.414

Well, some of these are like, there's no way it's classy. Some of these are like, is it neutral?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3333.4

That's where your main recycling is?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3344.759

They're not going to heat as evenly. I would say it's not classic because you have completely taken the possibility of recycling out of the picture. Wow. That doesn't bother me. I'm not great with it. But with recycling? No. Cans? Aluminum cans is the easiest thing in the world.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3372.37

Look, maybe for plastic, because I don't think they really even recycle plastic.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3377.516

But cans, it's easy to actually recycle. What are they doing with that?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3382.081

They're not making tanks out of that shit. I know, they're making other cans.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3387.865

Look, most of the stuff I think they are lying to us about recycling.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3396.548

You got me. You want me over, fucking set it on fire. Get yourself a garbage can in your bathroom on fire.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3448.016

Especially if it's an old fashioned one, because I do feel like toupee technology. I mean, I'll give you those ladies. Like it's again, it's like a tick tock thing where it's like they basically glue the shit on it.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3457.278

And the guy looks kind of good.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3459.659

But if you're wearing the old fashioned, like where you can tell the hair looks like there's a squirrel on you.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3464.86

It's brutal. Now, what's the question? Is what garbage?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3490.93

This isn't really a garbage thing. This is like a does your family communicate thing. This isn't really about your, I mean, we can probably say this. Welcome back to Are You Repressed? It's garbage, yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3503.553

I can guarantee you that. Yeah, I think you got to be like, it's off. The toupee's off.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3511.875

Or be like, I got a haircut. That'd be funny.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3515.957

I trimmed my hair a little bit.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3518.899

Yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

352.472

Which I was sure my parents were lying to me about. Sure. And I had to find out the hard way. Your lungs swell up. I fully, fully touched it. Oh, yeah. I tried to do the math. It's not strawberries.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3546.376

Well, there's that Tim Robinson sketch actually about this. I think you should leave where he's like the premise of the sketches. Are you tired of wearing your toupee? And they hire a guy in a gorilla suit to like rip your scalp off and be like, oh, no, the gorilla ripped my hair off. Now I'm bald. Great sketch. Check out. I think you should leave. You have it already, folks.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3574.334

Detroiters is so fucking funny. It's so good. Talking about beers, too?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3578.957

Yeah, I know.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3581.779

It's a great line. It's so fucking... Yeah, home run. That show is the one where I'm like, damn, it would be awesome. Because seeing tires, I love being on it, but I love being this guy who has to be in half the episodes. Sure. Shane...

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3593.306

is there that's a lot of heavy lifting like you know McKeever and fucking Steve that's their you know their whole fucking lives for like there's three months of shooting plus the writing that's a lot of work and like I love doing this but it's like you see Detroiters and like you're like damn That show's so good. They got their own thing going. Like, it's just, they're so fucking funny.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3613.172

I'm like, it would be so funny to do, like, a Baltimore version of that. Some kind of Baltimore version of that, but too much fucking work.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3628.918

Yeah, I'm already on a good show.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3631.179

Who cares? Yeah, fucking. Be advantageous and shit.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

364.059

Does it make me itchy? Because if it doesn't, I'm taking a bite.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3670.911

No town is so small that that's your social hall. Yeah, I don't know. There's a fucking bowling alley. There's a wedding going on next year. Look, if you like bowling, I was getting ready to jump in and be like, you know what? What are we fucking, you know, judging these, like, blue-collar places to hang out? Oh, you want to bowl, bowl, yeah. But it's like, it's fun.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3687.856

I love hanging out at a bowling alley. I was about to be like, it's fun, your family loves bowling, have your fucking bar. Yeah, of course. But they didn't bowl? That's crazy. It's nuts. You went there for the ambiance? You went to a bowling alley for, yeah, the fucking chicken tenders and the fucking shitty popcorn? That sucks. I like the family smell. Yeah, we put the shoes on, though.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

372.904

I did the due diligence of that. But then I think I – I don't know if it actually does make you itchy or I just psychosomatically convinced myself it did.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3732.057

Again, that's all true, but it is garbage.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3752.031

Bag full of mashed potatoes.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3775.6

Or a bowl.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3778.18

What are you doing? That's crazy. Discover another nice affordable alternative or discover a love of bowling. Those are your options.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3791.544

Throw a couple. Throw a couple.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3796.787

That's actually weirder is that no one bowled. It's there, but you just didn't do it.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3840.348

You can't do that. That's nuts. That's nuts.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3845.971

Boom. High risk, high reward, though. If it works, it's not trashy, and if it doesn't, it is trashy.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3870.661

Jay's the man for that. Shout out to Jay. For just being like, this is how I dress forever. It's 2003 forever.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3902.131

What are we talking about? What kind of suit? What did he say? Chain wallet.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

392.51

By the way, this is what happens when you privatize things.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3924.54

Please check it out, guys. The Dreamboat Tour. We're going all over the place. We start on the West Coast. We'll do Phoenix. We'll go to the fucking South, parts of the Midwest, Chicago.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3938.368

On the bus. Be a part of this. Doing Toronto, you know. We're doing like Vancouver, Toronto. We're hitting a couple, Canada. And then we're finishing off some stuff on the East Coast. And the plan is to do more East Coast stuff in the fall. Got it. Please buy these tickets now. It's nothing that you've seen on either my YouTube special or the Netflix special.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

395.751

Like people think it's like, oh, we're going to get the pork out of government. We're going to make things more efficient. No. No. It's going to go through eight subcontractors, and some guy who's probably at the time kicking crack is going to be the person putting drop ceilings in your high school.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

3960.212

It's a new hour, and it's going to be a lot of fun.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

423.056

By the way, they had to hire a certain amount of non-union workers means that's not legal at all. That's not what unions do. The exact opposite.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

435.999

Three guys got union jobs and they're like, all right, someone's actually got to do the work.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

453.263

You guys looking for people? Yeah, he was going to end up stealing. He stole the fax machines they were throwing away the next day anyway. That was Hank's big come up.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

474.07

A little bit. Like food-wise? Yeah. I knew a couple. In Baltimore, I knew a couple. I did know a couple.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

482.035

Well, they were not my crew. But there was definitely like a... More associates. There was like kids that... I went to public school in Baltimore, but you had to test into it. The way Baltimore did it, it's kind of fucked up. There's three good schools in the entire system, and they make you test into them for the time you're 10 years old. One's in the back of a TGI Fridays.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

507.791

I went to a good school in Baltimore, but what happened is rich kids that got expelled from all the private schools would end up at my school. Their parents would pull strings.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

520.997

Exactly. Exactly. So that's actually it was rich kids pretending to be poor or that were like, fuck you, dad. And we're like, you know, would smoke weed in eighth grade and then like dumpster dive and shit like that, who now are probably, you know,

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

534.202

prosecutors sure like fuck it you know what i mean like who they they charge of the southern district yeah blowing off steam so i knew a couple of those like fake free fake edgy guys like those guys like white you know like just rich jewish kids that were smoking weed and like going like i'm living off the earth man but and then my modest yahoo years yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

557.595

And, you know, am I going to sit here and tell you I didn't share a couple Panera Bread croissants?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

566.081

And eat free snacks. And if a gigantic plastic bag of Panera Bread croissants were to fucking materialize.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

576.969

Yeah, exactly. Bread bowls without bring-your-own-soup bread bowl situation? Am I above microwaving a Chunky's clam chowder and pouring it in a three-day-old bread bowl? No, I'm not.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

611.784

What are you talking about? You got a job interview for a multi-level marketing scheme at a Panera Bread.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

629.917

They're like, in fact, we're going to show you how sharp our knives are by cutting your fucking chicken fontega sandwich in quarters.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

645.313

A business lunch. I would have loved to see the fucking khakis and the shirt out of a plastic box that you wore to that. With the matching tie.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

686.339

I didn't even know. Legitimately, I didn't know you were supposed to put the button over it until I was like 23 years old.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

703.952

I never hooked in my life. I never hooked in my life. I always just, the button was just hanging on for dear life the whole time.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

713.437

Sweater, you know what I mean? Like, I never, no one ever saw. Yeah, you're tucking in. No one saw.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

720.3

Trying to untuck as much as possible. Jacket. Holding something over there. Anything.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

729.185

Yikes. But the coverage, man. You needed the sweater.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

733.908

The stretch out of the sweater.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

753.869

Oh, yeah, I want tracksuit. I want to be buried in a tracksuit. I want a fun.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

758.313

I always love when you see, like, why don't more people have a fun funeral?

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

763.177

That kid who fucking, who's like, he was like holding a fucking Xbox controller.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

767.56

They do that down in Mexico and shit like that.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

777.007

A true weekend at Bernie's? They're like, maybe this will bring him back. They're like, hopefully the music, hopefully the island rhythms will bring him back just like they did Bernie from Weekend at Bernie's. He's just in the corner like this. He did.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

802.87

I mean, that's great. Now we are venturing into a public health problem.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

813.822

It's one thing at their funeral, but at a fucking, oh, yeah, we're going to take my dead son to Dave and Buster's.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

834.217

One last goal. Yeah, yeah. That's all.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

878.036

I don't know if it's garbage or if you're just really fucking stupid and don't understand narrative.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

885.121

Don't understand.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

889.763

So does Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

892.765

Yeah. He played himself. You're not able to differentiate when someone played mockumentary.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

902.713

Were you an Entourage guy? See, that's also part of it. I was an Entourage guy later in life. So it didn't get me when I was young.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

916.063

You're still waiting for Aquaman to come out. You're still waiting.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

920.727

Yeah.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

955.669

You're like, what was he going to do with Scorsese that fell apart? He was never going to do anything. He couldn't get the funding.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

975.557

You're a wire guy? I was definitely – I mean, again, a wire guy later on. Well, not even later. I guess in my – when it was coming out. It was too real at the time. I caught on. I mean, yeah. I mean, they filmed – I remember being alive when they filmed season two. They filmed the Greek season. They used the restaurant my mother was currently a waitress at.

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Business Lunch w/ Stavros Halkias

994.091

For real, yeah. That's awesome. It's closed down now, but yeah. They filmed in that restaurant.

Pardon My Take

Ryan Fitzpatrick Talking Conference Championships, Stavros Halkios And The Ravens Loss, Ohio State Wins The Natty, Bears Get Ben Johnson And Tensions Are Mounting

6874.457

Wait a second. I'm in fucking Chicago. I'm like, Hey guys, I got to fuck you moving. Can I do the fucking show? I don't hear, hey, we can fucking put you on Amos. I get my fucking team loses. I go through heartbreak. I immediately get a fucking text, you pieces of shit. Fuck you guys. That's not fully true. Fuck you. You said you were going to come back to do PMT. Fuck you. Shut the fuck up.

Pardon My Take

Ryan Fitzpatrick Talking Conference Championships, Stavros Halkios And The Ravens Loss, Ohio State Wins The Natty, Bears Get Ben Johnson And Tensions Are Mounting

6923.427

Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm mad and I'm taking it out on you. Okay, so how are you feeling? Bad, big cat. Okay, let's talk it out. Am I echoing? Is something weird happening? The mic's cutting out just like a little bit.

Pardon My Take

Ryan Fitzpatrick Talking Conference Championships, Stavros Halkios And The Ravens Loss, Ohio State Wins The Natty, Bears Get Ben Johnson And Tensions Are Mounting

6952.992

Yes, it did. It was fucking brutal. It was like, I don't fucking know, dude. I don't even know what to fucking say.

Pardon My Take

Ryan Fitzpatrick Talking Conference Championships, Stavros Halkios And The Ravens Loss, Ohio State Wins The Natty, Bears Get Ben Johnson And Tensions Are Mounting

6970.691

I'm not one of these motherfuckers that thinks Lamar was the problem at all. Look, that fucking interception was a duck. That was crazy. He fucking threw a quarter of his interceptions in this fucking game. He was fucking awesome. And he throws like, a no disrespect Jameis style interception where it's like, who the fuck was he even throwing to? Like, I thought I was having a stroke.

Pardon My Take

Ryan Fitzpatrick Talking Conference Championships, Stavros Halkios And The Ravens Loss, Ohio State Wins The Natty, Bears Get Ben Johnson And Tensions Are Mounting

6991.401

The fucking build guy just caught it like he was fair catching. I couldn't believe that. But it's like, okay, he got that shit out of his system, whatever. He comes back when it fucking matters. It's slippery. What do you want from those fucking guys from Florida? He doesn't know fucking snow. You've seen his fucking high school highlights. It's humid, but it's not cold.

Pardon My Take

Ryan Fitzpatrick Talking Conference Championships, Stavros Halkios And The Ravens Loss, Ohio State Wins The Natty, Bears Get Ben Johnson And Tensions Are Mounting

7010.614

The fucking ball slipped out of his hand. Okay. And then at the fucking end, he takes them down. We get the touchdown. Throws it to Andrews. And I feel bad for Andrews, too, because he's fucking good. But that's a tough one, man. You do have to catch that one. Plus the fumble. Again, I feel bad for him. But it's like, this what? Three fucking turnovers. And we were in that game.

Pardon My Take

Ryan Fitzpatrick Talking Conference Championships, Stavros Halkios And The Ravens Loss, Ohio State Wins The Natty, Bears Get Ben Johnson And Tensions Are Mounting

7034.173

That was... He didn't play bad. Yeah. And then the fucking... Why the fuck did we throw the ball when we were first and goal? Why the fuck did we run it four times? That's the kind of fucking team we are. We have fucking Derrick Henry. What the fuck? Did we break Derrick Henry in four if we're fucking goal line and they're not going to throw him the fucking ball? Can somebody explain that to me?

Pardon My Take

Ryan Fitzpatrick Talking Conference Championships, Stavros Halkios And The Ravens Loss, Ohio State Wins The Natty, Bears Get Ben Johnson And Tensions Are Mounting

7057.198

It's the only time in my life I wish Greg Roman was our fucking offensive coordinator. That fucking time. You know that cocksucker would have ran it four times. He doesn't even know how to pass this playbook. But Todd Munkin got fucking cute. When we least needed it, you fuck. Yeah. And then we score that touchdown. Whole different fucking game. Whole different fucking game.

Pardon My Take

Ryan Fitzpatrick Talking Conference Championships, Stavros Halkios And The Ravens Loss, Ohio State Wins The Natty, Bears Get Ben Johnson And Tensions Are Mounting

7078.819

Dude, I don't fuck... It was just like... It was bad. I keep like... It's... We were good! We didn't even deserve to lose! We were fucking good! And where the fuck was the... When we're playing Pittsburgh, I feel like every play, TJ Watts tackling a fucking running back that we tricked those dumbasses into thinking he was going to get the ball, and then Lamar... Where the fuck was that? !

Pardon My Take

Ryan Fitzpatrick Talking Conference Championships, Stavros Halkios And The Ravens Loss, Ohio State Wins The Natty, Bears Get Ben Johnson And Tensions Are Mounting

7106.996

That's our superpower. That's what makes Lamar even better than the best than Josh Allen, for example. It's like, yeah, he can throw the ball. Yeah, he can run. But also, these motherfuckers don't even know how to defend against a run defense. Where the fuck did that go? Now, maybe I missed it. You guys have the keen eyes that I don't. You guys are bigger football guys than me.

Pardon My Take

Ryan Fitzpatrick Talking Conference Championships, Stavros Halkios And The Ravens Loss, Ohio State Wins The Natty, Bears Get Ben Johnson And Tensions Are Mounting

7128.19

I am a football guy, but I don't watch fucking Maction or whatever the fuck. So maybe I missed one of those fucking plays.

Pardon My Take

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Yeah, I guess. And look, I know, like, yes, that fumble was fucking huge. But that is the exact reason Lamar can't have two three-overs. Because as the fucking leader, your boys are going to might fuck up, right? And you're the one who has to make up for that. I get that. And you're right. He's never played to the standard that he plays when we're beating, you know, whatever.

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That game we beat Cincinnati with him and Joe Burrow doing that duel. He didn't play to that. I get that. to suck PFT's cock. He didn't play as good as a rookie. You know what I mean?

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It's tough to even be like, that's the tough counter-argument, and I hate how happy this is going to make you, where it's like, Lamar is the man, but a fucking rookie with his skill set, not as good a player yet, if ever, probably not as good, but had the fucking mentality to just, and he wasn't, whatever. He played a fucking dome, actually. Fuck you, PFT. It was the elements that got to him.

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If he was in the show, if we were in a fucking dumb, whole different ballgame, BSD, fuck you. But this is the exact conversation we're having about Peyton Manning. Yes, would you rather have Tom Brady? Sure. Cool pig panning that fucking makes guys miss and is electrifying. And I still have to watch football every week. That's how you know it's a bad loss because I'm fucking Buddhist now.

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And it's got me thinking about, well, I'd rather be them than you, for example, Big Cat. Now I'm like, fuck Ben Johnson. I'm like, everything's going to go bad for everybody else. Fraud. Too many fucking flea flickers. Enjoy those fucking picks he's going to throw. Caleb's going to fucking throw next year. Fuck you guys.

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That's the hard thing because I have a lot of friends who are Bills fans. It's a fat city. Okay, I'm rooting maliciously against the Kansas City Chiefs, and I'm rooting. There's no malice with the Bills. It is like I like Buffalo. In the NFC, I could give a fuck. I mean, you know, whatever. Who cares? Whoever it is, beat the fucking— I don't know, just whoever does it beats the Chiefs. It sucks.

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Every time, it won't be as bad as last year. Last year destroyed me. I was fucking like, I mean, literally, after the Super Bowl, here's how bad I would have been if I went on. I mean, you have proof of it. I've been sober since the Super Bowl. After that bender, I was like, what am I doing with my life?

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I have not smoked weed, drank, taken pills, nothing because I was so depressed after the Ravens lost to the Chiefs. So it literally put me into sobriety. That loss fucked me up so bad. I watched it. I was in Baltimore. I had to watch stupid fucking red confetti fall on M&T Bank Stadium. It sucked dick.

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So on some level, nothing is as devastating as that, especially like we're away from the Super Bowl. But like, Fuck, dude. We were so good. Yeah. Our offense was so fucking... And then the defense, which was, you know, took some while to fucking come around. We were looking pretty good. There's, you know, a couple guys will get fucking torched every once in a while, but for the most part...

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Shout out to fucking Zach Orr. He's figured the shit out. He's cool. I like our guys. I do. But then I'm also, you know, salary cap. I haven't looked into it. A team never stays good this long. I'm sure we're in for some bullshit departure. And we're a good organization. I get it, whatever. But fuck, dude. You know how it is. You got to win. If you're this good a team, you got to fucking win.

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And I'm happy to have Lamar for the rest. I don't want him ever going anywhere. Don't get me wrong. And we will be good as long as we have him. But fuck. Every 12 years. That's the pact we signed with Satan. It's the perfect amount. It is. Every 12. Sixth grade. I was in sixth grade. I was 25. It's the perfect space out, bro. It is.

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Has it happened only twice, but how long have the fucking Ravens been a franchise? It's pretty quick after that, you fuck.

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I mean, I ride with Harbaugh, but it is a little, like, Because here's the real shit. We shouldn't have been playing in fucking Buffalo. I know. Why the fuck did we lose to the Raiders? I mean, you look through our fucking schedule. It's like, what the fuck, man? Like, why were we penalized? I mean, look, the first game.

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Hey, remember that lining up away from the fucking center call that we got 15 fucking times opening night? Did you see that called fucking once after that? I mean, these motherfuckers, it was literally like make up a rule so the Ravens lose to the fucking Chiefs. I didn't see that shit all season called on the Ravens. It happened only in opening night. Whatever. We'll take that one aside.

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But it's like we were a fucking penalized team. It weirdly it's shit. That's like poorly coached shit where it's like, why are we beating ourselves? Why do we almost lose to the fucking shitty Cowboys? Why the fuck did we like, why, why are we not ready to play? And our defense, like you could blame it on new coordinator. You know, it was hard to lose.

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It was hard to lose fucking McDonald, but like, By the end of the season, we'd figured that out. We figured our defense out. It was all the early... It was not the defensive coordinator, the new defensive coordinator that was the problem. It was overall coaching shit. And I do love Harbaugh. But it is like... He's in no way is he on a hot seat, but it's like, it ain't cold no more.

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You know what I mean? It's like, now I took out the thermometer. I'm looking at thermometers on Amazon. I haven't even bought it yet. But it's like, if I need at some point to see the temperature of his seat, I'm at least seeing what the best... I'm reading reviews on the best thermometer to see how hot the seat is. So we're very far away. But... It is poorly coached shit.

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It is like, why the fuck are we... This is the whole point of a, like, doesn't call plays, doesn't do shit. He's like a fucking... He's that traditional old school, I'm just managing everything coach. And it's like, well, how the fuck do we lose a lot of games because of penalties, if that's the fucking case? You know what I mean? And it's like, if we're at home... I don't think we lose that game.

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It gets so cold up there, the snow. And I have, that's another thing. That's how bad this loss was, where I'm like, we're playing outside? What is this, the fucking 1910s? What the fuck are we doing? Let's play the NBA finals on a fucking blacktop next year. Like, it's got me being like, it's crazy to have snow games. What are we talking about?

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The elements can't make that much of a fucking, you know, can't fuck the outcome up. Even though that's crazy, snow football is cool. But it's got me considering shit like that. Yeah. Yeah, you're changing your worldview.

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I know. And here's the other thing. The reason I say I'm not as big a football guy is because there was moments in my life where I was like, ah. I, you know, do I have to watch this every Sunday? Like who cares? Like, and then Lamar gets drafted. And it was like, I was back in harder than I've ever fucking been. I was like, I couldn't believe he fell to us.

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It's really, and it's like, why, why you motherfucker? Why couldn't we have drafted fucking Mitch Trubisky? You know what I mean? Then I'd be fine. I'd be, I'd be on, I'd be having good times on Sunday. I'd be fucking at brunch with my pals. I wouldn't give a fuck, but I'm back in. Cause I love Lamar so much. And it's hard, man. I want to be free, Big Cap, but I don't think I ever will be.

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I don't think I ever will be. And I do want to. I do want to not be a fan of anything. But unfortunately, this bullshit makes me so sad.

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You copied me, dude. You copy your own Lamar? That's bullshit. You copy and pasted a Lamar. Bullshit, dude. Fuck you. I don't know. And it's also like it's also the D.C. thing with Baltimore where it's like D.C. is a bunch of fucking I know you're from Virginia, but D.C. is a bunch of fucking nerds. It's a bunch of fucking losers that want to be in politics.

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It's like every every like student government president tattletale lanyard wearing motherfucker is a D.C. fan. That's that town sucks dick. You know, that's where they did pizza. You know, it's like we're billionaires molest children with the president. And it's like, I got to watch that team fucking win. I watch that team fucking win.

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You know, and Philly at least is like they are our white trash cousin. There's so much similarity to Philadelphia and Baltimore that it's like. I don't know. There's a little part of me is like, it would have hurt me to have to face Philly in the fuck. It's like a battle of, it's like the Civil War. It would have been a battle of brothers. It's the Hatfield and McCoys. Yeah.

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Anyway, who knows, man? I just I can't have the fucking Chiefs win and they will. They fucking will. Because that's how the world works. Because we're in a time where evil prevails. Everything is going bad. Fucking Mark Zuckerberg's on TRT stealing all our fucking information as we fucking speak. They're rolling back civil rights shit. The fucking the fucking Chiefs are going to win again.

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We're fucked. Nothing good is ever going to come. We gotta hope for, like, President Travis fucking... Travis Kelsey Jr. The only way we'll fucking have him, yeah, he'll be president. Him and Taylor Swift's son will be elected God Emperor of America in fucking 35 years, dude.

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The Ravens are still good. They're still good. We're still good. But this is tough to coming off these two back to back. No, that's the tough thing is like we are good. And that's what that's what we are. So you know what this is like? It's like you have the best girlfriend of all time. Everything's great. And she just gets drunk, sucks one guy off. I can get past it.

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I can get past it because everything else is perfect and it was maybe a one-time thing. But when it's dark and I'm in my room alone, I'm imagining her sucking that guy's dick. You know what I mean? And that's what this was. The fumble is sucking a guy's dick. The drop is sucking a guy's dick. Not running for it on fucking second and goal is sucking a guy's dick.

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And I have to think about that, even though I love my wife, the Ravens. She stuck the guy's cock in Cabo, and I have to fucking live with that. And you know what? She actually did it two years in a row. And it's on thin ice now, now that I think about it.

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Yeah. I want to see someone do it. I want to see someone do it. That would be good. Like a kicker misses a big kick. He's just like, oh.

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Appreciate that. And you know what? You waited 24 hours, but it's like, in my mind, you texted me the moment the game ended. Yeah, yeah. It has been so painful.

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I'm coming to Chicago. I want you guys to be there. Yeah, Chicago Theater, please come out. Yeah, I have a huge tour coming out, the Dreamboat tour. It's like over 40 cities. We're doing a tour bus. It's going to be a big-time tour. I'm very excited about that. Please buy tickets to see me. I won't kill myself if those shows sell out.

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Um, and yeah, that's, I mean, it's the tour, the movie, let's start a cult available on demand and we're working to get it on Hulu pretty soon. Um, and yes, Davi's world. It's really, I really want people to see the, to come see me live. You know, it's a good show. It's a fun show, I promise. And, yeah, watch the movie. We have the podcast. That's pretty much it, man.

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You do. There's there is plenty of nudity mean my nudity on that motherfucker for sure. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, that's it. So go to Stavi.biz for the rest of the dates. That's Chicago and Madison. But I start February 21st in like Sacramento. And then we we end February or we end May 11th in or May 12th in D.C. So it's literally like we're doing the West Coast, the South, the Midwest.

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And then we're going to come back and hit more of the East Coast in the fall. But yeah, Stavi.biz. That's pretty much it. Yeah, thanks, guys. I actually do feel better having spoken to you, getting it out for real. At least it wasn't festering for two weeks. Last year, I really was depressed for two straight weeks.

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no no no no no it's by the way those guys are funny yeah no shots at them it was just you know of course i get the quick we can move some shit around when the ravens lose that's wrong i did say i did my ravens my text to him was literally like hey can you come on tomorrow we can do any time I know. I last minute even said I moved it two hours just to see how open you really were.

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And you're like, no problem, man. We'll figure it out. We got it, dude. We'll stay here until midnight.

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Just keep throwing out my back. Just fucking walking hunched over shit. And so, yeah, I just... And I'm on the road, too, and sometimes it's hard to find a gym or do some research. Bro, I just wake up, walk long as fuck to start my day, and that's pretty good. It's also, like, an awesome way to see a city. Absolutely, exactly.

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To just be like, I'm just going to walk in a direction and then come back. That's exactly what I do. It's like, I might... Yeah, just go... We've been going to, like... I'll go to a thrift store or an antique store and try and find interesting DVDs. You know what I mean? We're still looking for Goldmember. We got the other two Austin Powers. We're crushing that on the bus.

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What the fuck, dude? The youth is going to hate this episode. This is about losing your hair and going for nice low-impact cardio to find outdated forms of media.

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Yeah, I only watched Star Wars with that. And I was like, this is... And I also thought because it was space that it was connected, that it was futuristic. And then I never saw him again. In my head, it was like, oh, that's how Star Wars... They just made him smaller.

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You could chuck one of those so far, too. You're actually the best. They gave you a water balloon full of milk.

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Wait, so what's the best city you've been to? Oh, dude, I don't know. I mean, I had a great time in Madison, your alma mater, obviously. Dude, I love Minneapolis. Minneapolis is a very good city. And I caught it with some great weather. They have incredible food. We got insane sushi. This place, Billy Sushi, is incredible. There's lakes right there. The lake's great.

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because i'm like that's too far north little buddy yeah get the fuck down why are you up here but it's i love a nice i truly am a fucking old man dude i love a nice on the water walk yeah like it just soothes my brain and i'm just fucking strolling but yeah i loved it the food was great i got a hotel with a sauna and like an outdoor heated pool oh hell yes you just fucking roasting i mean truly old european man activities but i loved it yeah the dreamboat tour

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Dreamboat tour, yep. The show in Minneapolis was great too. So you're not taking any flights? Bro, I'm doing like 50 cities. I've been on a plane four times. I'll be on a plane four times total. So what was the longest drive you've done? We did like from Vancouver to like fucking...

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somewhere in Southern California I don't remember Fresno or some shit which sucked dick by the way one of the worst places of all time I got sick I was Fresno sucks so much dick dude I was working out at the I go to the gym and there's a guy just clipping his toenails just outside just like on a bench bro it was There's people going to squash courts.

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And the guy's just staring you dead in the eye, not embarrassed whatsoever. And it seemed like guys who were not quite homeless, but not homeless. You know what I mean? These are guys that kind of get access to a house maybe 12 days out of the month. And they were taking up their time at a gym in Fresno. But I think I got low-grade, some kind of flu just working out there. But that city sucks dick.

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you know also kind of sucks dick but was fun fun shows well you know i mean the in inland california like you never hear anything about it so yeah yeah hey what's going on over there they they would rather you not know yeah but yeah i just that that that image of that of that like fucking possibly displaced man clipping his toenails by a fucking lat pull down machine will stick with me

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Like two and a half total. Wow. Yeah. It's a lot. I mean, it's a lot, but I also like, I kind of just wanted, first of all, Madden style. You know what I mean? Like DVD player. I got my snacks. You know what I'm saying? Like I'm trying to be healthy. You got the bed in the back. Got the bed. We got, no, I sleep in a little cubby. No way.

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man of the people there's no copy is actually nice you feel like you feel like a little bit like it's like when you're a baby and your parents would take you to the car to make you fall asleep that's what it feels like i sleep great on there but it's me and my best friends it's basically a rolling slumber party yeah and all of them have like families that they're like away from and for me i'm like isn't this great guys can't we just live like this forever you know

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But it's fun as shit. And yeah, I think it just costs a lot of money. But dude, I just wanted to be fun. I'm just trying to have a good time. And I'm also trying to be less fat. Every other tour, I would gain maybe 40 pounds. And I was like, if that happens again, I'm going to die fast. Like it's going to be like a matter of like five years if I keep gaining weight.

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So that's why I was like, we're getting the bus. I literally like I bought a hot plate and I was legitimately cooking like chicken, like a fucking like divorced man on like a like camp burner on the bus in New Orleans. It was raining. And I was like, if I leave, it stopped raining. And then my friends were like, let's go out for a walk. I was like, if I leave, I'm getting like four po' boys.

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So I'm staying in the bus. cooking the saddest chicken like divorced dad chicken and like beans from a can and just like eating it on like a you know a hugely successful like a 50 city tour of like 2500 seat theaters I'm fucking eating like a divorced guy but you have TV on there Brother, we got, we got, the setup is awesome because it's a bus, right?

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And it's like you, it's like a bench on one side, bench on the other side, like passenger and driver side facing each other. You look, you have a TV on either side. So we're standing like this. We're both watching TV. You watch the TV together. I'm looking at my boy get, you know, look at, you know, Chuck Norris take down David Carradine.

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While we're just, it's the best dude. I'm drinking zero sugar root beers. I'm, I'm gotten very into regional diet sodas. Yeah. Shout out to grape ago. Oh, strange soda that tastes like syrup. Like you are Frank.

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if you give him i gotta talk to i gotta get in here with frank because i'm peripherally i love what i see from frank i love how pissed off he gets at things that should not you know really affect a grown man that much i love to see that kind of passion and i love him walking yeah i didn't know he was a soda sommelier you could give him a food and he'll tell he'll pair it with the soda

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No, we got... Maybe I can be Diet Frank, dude. Yeah. I can be the diet because I love... Listen, how much time you guys got? 7-Up's got a new tropical that they're doing. Really good. Really, you should check it out. But yeah, I'm drinking my diet sodas, protein bars, all that kind of shit.

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Diet root beer's great. There's a Dr. Brown's cream soda that's a diet that's very good. Very good stuff. Everyone's going to hate this episode.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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um there's and i'm not stopping by the way there's a cherry seven up they just came out with that i really enjoy so yeah wild cherry pepsi classic yes i remember that oh my favorite that's a that's back baby they got a cream version which i don't like as much but yeah i'm telling you brother i've been i've been that's my only vice is left because i've been sober half the time dude i've been i'm like i'm having some diet sodas for sure wait what do you mean sober half the time

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Dude, it came on to me. Literally, I was about to put my shoes on, and Rush Hour came on, and I was like, fuck, I just had some lamb. I'm pretty high. I don't want to get up. And I texted you. I was like, dude, I got to watch Rush Hour. And I own it on like two other streamers, but I watch it on Tubi with the commercial.

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yeah yeah mincy sober is what we call him yeah oh yeah good clean living oh dude i yeah i'm trying to stay away from kush kush kush will make you snack but when you're like when you do a show and it's like late as fuck and you're like amped up yeah it's like so unnatural for people to be like cheering for you when you're like you've done nothing you feel like you haven't accomplished anything and then 2 000 people are like and you gotta go to bed and then you gotta go to bed it's like come on

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smoke a little kush it's not the end of the world what do you do right after a show um not nothing crazy like dude i'm not i used to go out i used to like you know maybe go to a bar or something or get like a crazy go to a cool like diner or something like i'm boring this tour because i'm trying to stay alive so i'm just like in the green room this stay alive it really is i'm trying to stay alive so bad dude

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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uh see yeah let's see let's see our 70s the tour um let's make it to at least 71 the tour but uh i don't do shit dude i hang out i have a yo i have a yogurt maybe a protein shake i get my steps backstage i'll fucking walk back and forth if i haven't finished my steps um not dude for and then we go back and we watch a movie like we watch a movie we hang out that's pretty much it dude it's not that also sounds but that's also it's being 36 that's

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I know. Like, maybe the first, like, the first, the tour, we started a casino and we were, like, gambling all night. And I just got, and, you know, I just got sick within, like, four days. Right.

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And so then I realized, like, fuck, I, at a certain point, you have to put on a show. You have to do a good job. People came. That's the other thing with theaters. I feel like, oh, fuck. People made a plan to be here. This isn't like a shitty comedy club. This is a date night.

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yeah probably close well it wraps up well dude we actually end the tour on like a three casino run and oh yeah and then mother's day in dc so like yeah so i'm gonna just be so wildly hung over for that show yeah uh and my mom's probably gonna be there but yeah we're ending with like some shitty like eastern seaboard casinos where we are gonna go fucking crazy i do love the idea of somebody buying their mom tickets to stavi show for mother's day yeah

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You're going to love this, Mom. If it's a very specific type of mother, I'm interested. If we have a precocious seven-year-old who's trying to get his mother tickets to my show, hit the DMs with her most recent headshots. Are you watching any of the NBA playoffs? I'm barely watching.

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That's been the hardest part of this tour, actually, is that you plan these things a year out in advance, and I didn't get to really enjoy Duke choking. You know what I mean?

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I can tell you everything dude it was I mean I was kind of I like I've done that so much where I like catch games right after I'm like oh fuck this game's going on because you're I've just been performing every cool sporting event so I'm really I'm just started kind of paying attention again a little bit I'm obviously rooting for the Knicks the Bucks I'm a little you know they're in such a fucking tough

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yeah tough spot i mean i'm i'm because i have no i love milwaukee but i have no true loyalties to it i'm kind of in let's get yannis out of there you know what i mean like let's get him to the nicks let's collude come on come on come on this like uh we got it we got to go stern style you know what i mean yeah enough with the like gentle commissionering

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Somewhere where a city I live. Yeah, Greek loyalty for sure, first and foremost. But yeah, I mean, I respect it because I love when you try something cool even though it seems kind of dumb. Day Mignonis was awesome. It's a great thought experiment. Try it.

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I mean, the Raven, he could kind of... People were kind of saying that about when we signed Henry, where they're like, this is one of those on-paper moves. He's an over-30 running back. And it's like, can you just shut the fuck up and let cool shit happen, hopefully? Right. And we... So I feel like I went one for two in my life for those things, and... I can't be too fucking picky.

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I mean, it was awesome to see. The thing is, we didn't really think of it as a reunion. Like everyone. It's like we don't like just like the show. We've never thought about this. Right. It was just that like when it first happened, I think it was good for everybody to kind of do their own thing and like whatever. And we've been on great terms for like.

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almost the whole time, like, you know, when we first ended, it was a little weird, but, like, we've been friends, and then it was literally a scheduling thing, where I keep, we kept saying, like, I'd love for you guys to come do the show, or, like, you want to do, and then it just, before the tour, I had to fucking do a bunch of episodes, and also, I think, you know, I think Nick, once Nick decided he wanted to do his own thing, and it was, like, officially all three of us were going to be separate, it kind of felt like, okay, now it's, it's like, let's,

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And it's not them two doing something because Adam wanted to do his own thing with like he. So even though he's still keeping the Adam Friedland show, it's really his now.

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It's not like a collaboration. And so we just decided, like, let's get together because now the patron is a pure it's just like, what do you call it? Like an archive. Right.

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So no one really, we split that and we were just like, well, if we're going to do that, we should like have one last, we were, we were going to get together and record a five minute message for the fans, but you get on the mics with the fellas and it feels like old times and you just keep it going. And then we recorded a little surprise farewell podcast.

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And then right after we just did my podcast cause it felt good. Right. You know what I mean? So it was just fun. It was just a good time.

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I've seen it. Yeah, yeah. At the beginning, I didn't watch it that much because, again, I didn't want to steal anything from my old partners. But yeah, it's very good. And I love seeing... They do a really good job of getting very specific people in a very weird context.

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Of course, and I get that. Even with a little distance, I always loved the show. And you really remember, damn, we had some great bits. It's funny, there was a handful of people that launched right in that same time. And there is a weird kinship between everybody. We all got too successful undeservedly. Like, we're good, but none of us deserve what's happening to us.

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so much to do with it there's so many people in other generations that are more talented than all of us yeah that just no one will ever hear of right and they will die doubting themselves and they just were unlucky and we were lucky yeah you were right you said you were right to believe in yourself yeah yeah sorry yeah but yeah that was the last time where i feel like you could break through as just like idiots that didn't have a ton of exactly it could kind of learn it on the fly

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Yeah, absolutely. People did not like it, man. Not at all. Yeah. You're right. I think it actually probably. But you know what? That was the magic of it.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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people just trying to be like just trying to be pure trolls right whereas like the our show is like when you're with your boys and it it's that feeling of like no one's listening let's say the most fucked up thing that makes us laugh right we were just stupid enough and had nothing going on in our lives we're like let's just put it on a microphone who gives a fuck right we're fucking poor nick had ringworm i was living in a windowless room we had nothing we had nothing you could take from us so we were like fuck it we'll say the most fucked up shit

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Um, yeah, no, it was awesome. And, and the response was great, dude. I mean, it was like, um, I, cause there's so much weird shit where people think we're not friends or like, they just don't understand that you just have, you just do different creative stuff.

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Like also come down, couldn't last forever. It's like, you don't want, you don't want a, like the aging, we just spent the first part of this podcast talking about like slow cardio, diet sodas, and how to deal, how to manage male pattern baldness. That's where we are in our lives. You don't want this guy saying fucked up shit. When you're like old as shit and trying to be a troll, that's sad.

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Look, that's for a new generation of people to do it. You know what I mean? There's probably like 22-year-olds, 24-year-olds that are doing the come town of today. I don't know what it is because I'm fucking old. You know what I mean? But that's good.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I feel like I went pro at hanging out. Yeah, right. That's what my job is. Just having a good time.

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That's what it was for a long time. i know that's so funny it's so funny that nerds that nerds fucking controlled that but yeah and like what does it mean for society it's like how about like we we just want to like this last the color i cheered for as a baby has to beat the color i hated when i was a baby or i'm gonna be pissed that's what it is that's what sports actually is

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for sure right he said that motherfucker said even if he blows it for sure and he can't i've heard actually from sources he can't win the big one yeah i actually have some sources at ut uh and they were telling me they're really scared they're looking at they're looking at the transfer portal for a quarterback you can quote me on that inside sources from the mothership in austin

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Thanks, dude. Yeah, dude, what breaks my heart is that I've always been a Hoops fanatic. Even when we were first friends, I was totally a Hoops fanatic. And I watched the Ravens, but I didn't care that much. I hate that with age, like, the NFL is inevitable. Yeah. Like, it's one day a week, and they know that. And where they might fuck up is overstretching themselves. I really believe that.

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But, like, I love hoops more than anything, but I don't... I used to, like, get fucked... You know, I would go to a show. I would be a comedian in New York trying to make it. I'd have shitty shows till, like, 11 or 12. I'd come back and catch league pass... Every night I would watch the West Coast games on the East Coast.

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Every single night I would get something fucked up from a deli and watch like the Kings play the Thunder or something. Right. And when I was watching and I would wake up every morning and look at the highlights of the game, the games I didn't. I was like clued into everything. But now that I have shit to do and responsibilities like the NBA needs to be half the games and they need to pick like.

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You know, Wednesday or Thursday and Sunday or something like that. Own a day of the week. Yeah, own one day of the week. And that's what's so fun. And I love football. Obviously, I love the Ravens. But it's like, you can't beat that feeling of like, ah, don't even fucking bother me. I'm going to fucking grill something and I'm going to eat it throughout the day.

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I'm going to pick it up at an eight pound pork shoulder from 10 a.m. to fucking, you know, 1130. Yeah. And that's going to be my day. Don't bother me. And I wish I could do that with hoops. I would love, like, Christmas, MLK Day. I love those days, dude, where you could just, like, sit on the couch.

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They have, like, a bunch of... And that's why I am looking forward to... I have a couple off days on this run. It's just brutal because I have, like... every single day a different city. But on an off day, I'm going to watch some playoffs. But, yeah, it breaks my heart that basketball is just hard to follow when you have responsibilities.

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Every game would actually matter in the standings. It would, it would have a little juice. And I'm one of those guys that I loved the bubble. I thought the quality of basketball was good. I thought that it was tournament style. They were better rested. I think they didn't go far enough with the in-season tournament. I'm like, put them somewhere for a month. I like those games.

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And it felt like it kind of fake recreated the... It wasn't March Madness, but it kind of gives you enough of that placebo of March Madness. But I don't know. I am worried about just... You're right. Just your ability to follow the NBA and how meaningless a middle of the year is.

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Like when you're shooting free throws, you could like peer into the outside or just groupies. Delicious food trucks.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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Yeah. Don't even you fucking mother. His name was put out. Come on, man. Fuck you guys. I mean, he can't. He's going to do. He's fine. I'm worried.

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You can hear it in my voice. I really believe it. He's fine. I'm not worried. I'm not worried at all. I'm fine. I'm fine. I had this thought the other day.

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Can't... Doesn't know how to fucking sign a wide receiver. They don't know how to... I mean, these fucking idiots don't know the cap. Like, what's your job? Shouldn't there be a guy that knows the cap on the fucking Bengals? Like, they do everything so fucking stupid. How about we start there? Okay. One guy plays for the fucking Bengals. I'm just saying... So it's... One guy's out already.

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And it's like, Mahomes is going to win a few more. Maybe. Hey, how about maybe the fucking, you know, maybe it's over. Maybe second half Patrick Mahomes can't win the big one. From starting today, Patrick Mahomes can't win the big one. Listen, in 2025, he has proven he can't win the big one.

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I still... The thing about Lamar, though, I'll just... I mean, the comp I keep making is just Peyton Manning. He's cooler Peyton Manning.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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He's fucking electric in the regular season, and as a fan, every game, you're not going to fuck... Every game you want to see. He's going to do something incredible, and, like, over time, just the joy he brings you... And, by the way, he's winning a Super Bowl. I'm not worried about it whatsoever. He's going to win a Super Bowl, but it's like...

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I the value of every Sunday maybe seeing the coolest highlight you've ever seen in your life that's in play and I think over the course of a career it's equal it's not better it's not better but it's equal and he's gonna win one so don't fucking go to me you motherfuckers that's a philosophical point no I'm just trying to say, what's up with all this rings culture? And we got to fucking win.

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How about you enjoy your life? Go out and smell the fucking roses every once in a while and enjoy the beauty and the majesty of a fucking incredible highlight.

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Dude, it's hard. You got to get a lawyer. Everybody's fucking out to get something from you. I got a good life now. I make a nice living. No, dude, yeah. I wouldn't even fuck her if she tried.

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I think the Ravens are a good enough organization where they just keep taking shots. Exactly. And he's going to figure it out. Has he been up to his standards? No. But the more cracks you get at it, the better you get at it. It's fine.

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Ooh, I hate to say this, but is he James Harden? He's not. He's way better. He's not even fucking close.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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Of course... I mean, yeah. Your boy's fucking skinny as fuck. Yeah. But, I mean, Lamar has had some injuries, obviously, but... I am a little scared. I've gotten a little more scared, but I also think, I don't think he should be afraid to just open it up a little bit.

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I do think there is something to, whatever, we don't have to get into the playoffs again, but it's like, I would have liked to see a little more Lamar running. I mean, our running game was legendary, and I do think, I don't know, I'm still fucking pissed with you.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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her first show and by the way I felt bad for Katie because I didn't know you're not supposed to curse or like or like they hadn't even talked it out and they were like I guess they were assuming they weren't gonna curse and then you can't have me on after the Ravens and just and not warn me but no that show was fun but yes it was really that was tough I did have to double dip and I wasn't I was expecting to be triumphant I didn't think I thought I'm gonna be fucking celebrating we're getting winning a fucking Super Bowl what are you gonna do yeah fucking tough yeah

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I don't know anything about that. The man is a man of God. I haven't seen any police reports. I've seen him at mass.

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Yeah, I mean, it makes a little sense why the man was nervous, I guess. Yeah. But yeah, that is a tough one. And, you know, disavow. Yeah. You know, I actually, whenever something bad happens, I will not pay attention until I have to. Yeah. So that I have plausible deniability.

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So I really haven't seen anything. start of the season I will have to wait this is not me going on record I'm not doing it now like I said there'll be a time where you'll have to make a statement I will have to make a statement and it's gonna hurt either way no matter what it is except I don't even know what I'm talking about um

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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I'll probably make a statement about how excited I am for the Ravens and what a great guy he is. I don't know anything else going on.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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I think I'm going to go to Greece, yeah. Oh, hell yes. Greece is the best. I'm going to go to Greece. I'm going to try and do some UK shows too while I'm over there. Have you become a celebrity a little bit in Greece or no? I don't think so. I think comedy is still like a... We just started getting stand-up comedy in Greece like five years ago. Before there was a lot of hitting...

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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hitting little people in the face with pies. That was kind of the level of comedy going around. But I don't think yet, but, you know, who knows with... I guess Netflix's internationals, we got season two of Tires coming up. Oh, yeah. That's going to be fucking awesome.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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It got renewed. I mean, I hope... It was really funny. This season's fucking good, man. And we had like an actual budget this time. Everybody's so... There's so many incredible guest stars.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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He was very funny. We were on the same... On the pilot, we were in the same episode. He was great to work with. But yeah, I think it's going to be so good.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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I don't think I'm there. Why not? I don't know, dude. That would be fucking awesome. Yeah. Sign me the fuck up. Yeah, I think any Greek name, if you start getting anything going, they're like... Like, they fucking celebrate Tom Hanks because his wife...

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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is sort of greek you know what i mean like like there's literally newspapers will like track where tom hanks vacations like just because his wife is like helped produce my big fat greek wedding um and so you know hopefully we get if we get like if i get one more like mainstream credit i think maybe you know we'll get some free from free gyro and that kind of stuff what is about greece where you don't have to pay your taxes

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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That's a great society. Greece and Baltimore has that in common. So, you know, we're just hanging. Who cares, man? Just chill out. We are a very hang-based society. Greek people love. Like, they'll just go. They'll get coffee for, like, four hours. Like, take a nap afterwards. It's awesome, dude. It's the best. Yeah.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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um dude that's how fucking bad that's how like no no you could just you literally could just be like steel because the Ravens always do that yeah I mean like Kyle Hamilton you're right first of all yes yeah yeah steal of the draft we have the best like that's the thing that is part of it where I'm like I don't know like Wiggins I didn't know him Yeah. Love him. Yeah.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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The guy's got two fucking mouthpieces. That's what I want. I want a lunatic cornerback who thinks he's like the most the strongest. He's like he's skinny as hell. I know he thinks he's the strongest man in the NFL. You know what I mean? Like I want kind of an insane cornerback and whoever you're right. Whoever we whoever we get. Always steal. EDC knows what the fuck he's doing.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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We have the best organization in the NFL. We crush the draft. We're going to load up. We're going to win the fucking championship this year. It's going to be great. Here's my official stance. This kid's a steal. He's going to contribute right away.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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Getting your dick sucked by the tuba player and then calling her husband a nerd to his face. That's awesome.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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The noted is the best. Noted. Thank you. I'll put that under the file of pussy damage I've caused. Noted. All right, well, Stav, you're the best. We love having you on.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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Yeah, please come see me at the tail end of the Dreamboat Tour. Stavi.biz for tickets. Tire Season 2 comes out, I think, June 5th, somewhere around there. Love it. But yeah, that's all for me, guys.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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What about you, Memes? I like her draft. There's one question. This is what we're saying. Everyone likes it. Didn't drafted defensive tackle, though. Yeah. So not not great because people are saying this was like a generational defensive line defensive tackle draft.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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And they've definitely made some GM moves, and they've definitely been in a group chat with Diana Rossini just leaking information. Oh, okay.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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Bro, I'm on Madden mode. It's fucking awesome. So how sick is that? It's the best... Dude, it's like you're living like the fanciest train car hobo of all time. Like, it's just me and my boys and, like, you know, you guys... Eldis is my best friend. He's my producer on my podcast and my tour manager. So it's just like I brought my friend...

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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straight george to be the he's like the nutrition liaison is that the gay guy he's actually straight okay he appears gay so that's where you make it really you know straight george straight yeah yeah yeah um but i brought my friend to be the nutritionist his only qualification was he was really fat in college and he's not fat anymore that's good enough yeah so that's huge weight now when he got

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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Was it quick? He just I don't know. Something snapped and said we were like freshman year. We met. We were both big boys. We both crushed. We both like bonded over. When you get an unlimited meal plan as a fat kid. Yeah. Did that happen?

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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happened to you in wisconsin oh yeah like because you know i was poor and fat as hell so i had there were like monetary limits to how much i could eat right but when you get that you swipe it and then they're not kicking you out of the soft serve dude i had soft serve with cereal in it yes for dessert every meal i would put tricks vanilla soft serve or captain crunch every meal and then if they had like an interesting pie or an interesting cake i'm getting a little bit of that also yeah

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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And there'd be like steak night or weirdly lobster night or some shit. And you'd get that. But you'd also just get whatever the fuck, like a meatball sub if it was there.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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Truly. There was a, you could start that way. Yeah. Yeah. And eventually you figured out you were like wasting some kind of credit or something. But bro. Just in the beginning to do the damage, I got so insanely fat. When you take the governor of poverty off of what a fat 19-year-old can do to himself, it's ugly. Wait, so Straight George, I had a question about it.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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You were a shirt-in-the-pool guy in this presidential term. Don't act like you're brand new right now. No, he's a gentleman. I think he just pointed his eating disorder in the right direction. He hasn't cured himself. He's just now about protein and stuff like that. He still is a little trapped mentally. You can't ever truly escape being a fat kid in your head. You can do really well.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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You're getting hot on us. I appreciate it. That's how you got to set the bar so low that weighing 290 and being 5'7", people are like, Jesus Christ. What are you fucking? You get surgery? You do look good, though.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

9483.577

I'm never going Al Sharpton, Pez Dispenser head mode. You know what I mean? When that weird shit happens, I'm never going that way. I have always said big arms, little titties is the goal. That's not no titties. That's little tits. Gentleman's titties. You know what I mean? And get some big buys, big tries. That's all I want is bouncer physique. Tony Soprano.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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Dude, season one Tony Soprano is the hottest man that's ever lived, dude. And that's all I want. The girls who wanted to fuck him, that's who I want to fuck me. That's how I live my life. I'll never. Being skinny is also not. What am I going to be? A balding 42-year-old skinny guy?

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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That's despicable. Right. Now is the time to be fat as shit. Yeah. I'm going to peak in my 40s. That's it.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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I do think there is a – I don't know about the trends overall, but in my age, as a single man in his mid-30s, now is the time where people are getting fat, they are getting bald, and they don't know how to deal with it. Right. They are scared. You've been there.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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I'm Bane and they're fucking Batman. You know what I mean? Like I'm breaking their back. Don't worry about the end of that movie. Just the middle part. Three quarters part of it.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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Like, oh, no. And somebody taught him that. Somebody's perpetuating fat phobia right there. Yeah. They were juicy, too. They were nice. So nice. I'm not built like that. I'm not a fat guy with tits. Honestly, I'm a fat guy with a big ass belly. I keep it pretty. That's really what it's the huge spare tire. Never have I had big ass titties. I grew up with people.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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I went to high school with people that had the kind of tits that like he would fuck with people and like take videos of his tits like soapy. Yeah.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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in gym class and he was like this like light-skinned guy they just looked like awesome like puerto rican girls titties and then you zoom out and it's i won't say his name but it was like this arab kid with fat tits it was so fucking well a great joke to do in high school he literally made p like he he he would like make you horny and then be like you're fucking gay

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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There is Newman, who's even fatter. Yeah, and also the shortness, I think, is also... Shortness, bald, loser. You know what I mean? They kind of like... He does like, I'm a loser combo. He hits the multiplier. But yes, he is still fat. He's not considered not fat. And he just was like a regular guy. That episode where he like...

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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takes his shirt off and it's like Kramer's taking the pictures of him and he's like it's so funny that this guy would have his shirt off it's like I would true like if I got that size I would be worried yeah like that like to me that's not a fat guy right but he also has that he's kind of has a fatter face than he has body yeah if you go back and watch anything from the 90s like everybody just went bald and they'd have that like

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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I'm actually a little upset that I have... Obviously, I'm not a man who hides his... But I do kind of want to go straight horseshoe someday. So hopefully I keep losing my hair.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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philosophically I'm trying to get the bald ponytail I'm really trying to I was in something and they made me cut my hair and I was so pissed because I was like fuck dude I don't want to have short hair but I'm growing it back I want to be a bald pony guy you also should I've always dreamed of like if I ever got like fully bald especially the horseshoe I would just rock a horrendous toupee and just dare people to say shit

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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Dude, absolutely. There's phases I've planned out for baldness where it's like, bald pony, I got to achieve, right? And the clock's ticking because you want to have weird fucked up front hair, too. And PFT, who are you kidding? You would look sick as a bald pony.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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i don't know it is i love the look i know what you mean like it could have been an opportunity for you to kind of go drastic yeah something else but i just think you're you're committed to this bald bald long hair bald like gambling prognosticator yeah bald pony you know what i mean the way you dress like come on dude it's all this could have been the next the next phase of pft you get into like you know plaid suits and like really looking like a fucking down and out gambling horse track yeah yeah

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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He's got a story. That energy. Yes, he's got a story. That energy. Everyone, all eyes on you, brother. And it's like, are you man enough to handle that?

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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he's so like he thinks he's fucking so sexy right like what i want to be out of you danny devito and twins you re-watch that movie dude he's so awesome he's like four foot tall bald pony slaying hole my man is just getting pussy left and right and the whole thing is like he's a pussy hound that mistreats women and arnold schwarzenegger is like his perfect brother that respects women it's a great movie but anyway that's who i want to be one day

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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To pay. I would love to do at some point. But balding blonde skullet at some point. You know what I mean? Like really get the like trash going. I have a lot of designs for my horrible hair.

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NFL Draft With Peter Schrager, Stavros Halkias In Studio, NFL Draft Recap, Mel Kiper's meltdown, NBA/NHL Playoffs And Bill Belichick Might Be In A Conservatorship

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You did it. Why not? I'll give Frank the credit. Another success story. Yeah, yeah. I do like that. But I think we got to that idea when you're just in so fucking fat and your body is useless. What happened to me is I kept trying to work out and I would every time just get hurt. And I was like, all right, man, let me just walk so fucking far. I'm too fat to even do, like, you know, tricep pull.

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Like, I would just blow something out in my elbow, and I would try and, you know, you try and, like, lift everything. You're like, if I max out on bench, maybe I will wake up not fat tomorrow.

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800

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You ready?

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800

1749.449

No, dude. No. Mix it up.

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800

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I take back what I said about his recipe. I don't want to... No, no, no, no! Oh, no! Oh, fuck! Fuck, dude, that's disgusting. That fucking sucks so much. Oh, my God. Why did it come out so fast? Why did it come out so fast? Jesus Christ. I literally... I don't even gag easy, dude. That shit is fucked up. I don't want to watch me eat it. Don't eat it, Norm, please.

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800

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Look at this gooey turd. Oh, my God.

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800

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Why the fuck did it come out so fast?

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800

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No, I wasn't.

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800

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Yeah. I don't anymore.