Sherry Liu

I was like, okay, it's my priority to do these things, but just so you know, for me to do these things, I'm going to need the time to do them.

And that is going to mean that I might have to say no to requests that maybe my coworkers ask me, requests that maybe sister teams are gonna ask me, requests maybe like upper management might ask me.

And I'm going to have to count on you as my manager to help me say no and to help me deflect things that aren't actually going to be important on my team.

It made it so much easier for me to say no because I also knew that my manager was on my side and that they would also stick up for me.

And that saying no wouldn't mean people thinking I was a bad coworker because it would be clear that I'm saying no because I want to say yes on the things that are actually important.

Like, immediately, I would say, hey, I, you know, I'm at bandwidth right now, but I wouldn't just say no straight up.

I would offer what I can help.

If I were you, this is how I would approach it, and I would give them maybe a framework to go about it.

I would say, I can't help you at this time.

However, if you need it urgently, so-and-so might be able to give you the answer.

What surprised me when I started saying no in just all aspects of life is that people are actually really understanding.

Like most people, when they ask you something, it's not like a life or death situation or it's not black or white.

It's not like they ask you something.

If you don't do it, they'll stop being your friend.

And I think when you start saying no and you realize sometimes people are just like, OK, no worries, I'll do it myself or like, no worries.

I'll ask somebody else.

You're like, this thing that I in my head thought was just so important to them actually was not that important to them that I helped them with it at this specific moment.

And when someone says no to me for a good reason, I'm like, okay, whatever.

Like, like, I totally understand.

And I'm like, okay, wait, like, if I react like this, then like, why do I feel like people are gonna dislike me if I do the same exact thing?