Sherry Liu

I think I was known as like the nice girl in class, which as an adult, I look back on and I'm like, hmm, what does that really mean?

What does being nice really mean?

And so I think part of being liked, though, if you just want everyone to like you, you can't really take too much risks.

Like one thing, you can't really say no if someone asks you for something.

People would ask me for help on homework.

People would ask me for help on school projects.

And I was happy to say yes and help on those things.

But it was not really coming out of a place I feel like where I was like, oh, I genuinely feel like I want to help.

It was that like I want to make others happy, but I'm also so scared to say no, because what if you're unhappy with me?

My little sister is seven years younger, and when your little sister or little sibling has a significant age gap, you don't grow up as peers.

Your little sibling's, like, looking up to you.

And so the eldest daughter part, I think, of people-pleasing comes in when you feel like your actions are just more than your own, and it has this trickle-down effect to your little sibling.

So I'm the eldest daughter of an immigrant family, meaning I was born here, but my parents immigrated from China.

And so they brought a different culture in raising.

And I think like just in generally Asian cultures, it's more collectivist than the Western culture.

You're really cognizant of authority and you want to make like authority being like your parents or your bosses, right?

And that goes hand in hand with respect.

And you want to make sure everyone around you is comfortable and you're always anticipating other people's needs.

People think me, because I am not only an Asian woman, but also like short in stature, that I'm just going to say yes to everything.

And they expect me to in a way that I think they don't expect my other colleagues.