Sawyer (Mel's daughter)
Appearances
Right About Now with Ryan Alford
Gratitude Reflections for Business in 2024 - Personal Stories of Gratitude.
Yeah, I mean, I'm business side of this. Formula One is trying to expand more into America. So having an American car manufacturer brand is is good for them. They've been expanding their American audience for the past four or five years really successfully. They added the Las Vegas Grand Prix, which happens in Las Vegas with the cars racing on the strip.
Right About Now with Ryan Alford
Gratitude Reflections for Business in 2024 - Personal Stories of Gratitude.
That was a big part of that big investment there. And then this is a play for GM to get more recognition overseas. They're one of the largest car manufacturers in America, but overseas European international recognition isn't isn't as popular. So they're trying to get their name out there to get more car export sales.
Right About Now with Ryan Alford
Gratitude Reflections for Business in 2024 - Personal Stories of Gratitude.
Yeah, exactly. I mean, that's a lot of brands do that where they'll have the manufacturer support, but they'll put the name of kind of their luxury car brand on it. So Alpine is one that does that. I'm not sure who they're owned by, but Alpine is a French luxury car brand. They're a team in Formula One, but they're owned by a bigger manufacturer.
Right About Now with Ryan Alford
Gratitude Reflections for Business in 2024 - Personal Stories of Gratitude.
So I think Renault, I think they're owned by Renault. Um, so it's the same thing. GM, they take one of their nicer car brands, Cadillac, put that on there. But, um, so it'd be Cadillac racing. There's actually a lot of controversy. Getting this team into the sport was a real challenge. Um, a lot of other teams don't want another team because there's a prize pool.
Right About Now with Ryan Alford
Gratitude Reflections for Business in 2024 - Personal Stories of Gratitude.
And so the more teams there are, the more diluted that prize pool gets. So, um, There's a there's kind of a pushback against getting this team on there. And it ended up the Department of Justice ended up doing like an investigation about antitrust monopoly laws because they were blocking a team from getting in.
Right About Now with Ryan Alford
Gratitude Reflections for Business in 2024 - Personal Stories of Gratitude.
And then shortly after, they kind of reorganized the deal and and they got them in this this past week.
Right About Now with Ryan Alford
Gratitude Reflections for Business in 2024 - Personal Stories of Gratitude.
Yes, I like it.
Right About Now with Ryan Alford
Gratitude Reflections for Business in 2024 - Personal Stories of Gratitude.
So here's some bonus news. F1 has been making an F1 movie for this exact reason, Ryan, trying to get more people into the F1 ecosystem. Yes. They've been making a movie for the last year. It's going to be called Just F1. It is the director of the newest, that Top Gun Maverick. It's the same director. And they have been, for the past two years, since 2023, they've been on the grid with a car.
Right About Now with Ryan Alford
Gratitude Reflections for Business in 2024 - Personal Stories of Gratitude.
It's not, it's like a... It's a lower grade car that they've made look like an F1 car. And so like they've been going around like on the formation laps when all the cars are lining up. They're out there driving it on track to get footage. Just recently at the Las Vegas F1 race, they filmed a scene where they had the crash version of the car they brought on track.
Right About Now with Ryan Alford
Gratitude Reflections for Business in 2024 - Personal Stories of Gratitude.
They had their actor get out of the car and he's walking. There's all this smoke and they asked the crowd to react in the background like there was a big crash. So they've been filming the movie. At real F1 races. It's got Brad Pitt and some other big actors. That's cool. So we'll see how that turns out. It's supposed to be coming out in 2025. So hopefully that'll be sick.
Right About Now with Ryan Alford
Gratitude Reflections for Business in 2024 - Personal Stories of Gratitude.
The trailer is out. You can look. It's similar, you know, the way Maverick had those shots of the actors in the jets for like really flying the jets. They've got similar type of F1 shots of Brad Pitt and everything. And they were really at the track driving, driving past cars around the track. So I thought that was cool.
Right About Now with Ryan Alford
Gratitude Reflections for Business in 2024 - Personal Stories of Gratitude.
Yeah. F1's the most complex, right? It's like those cars are basically like airplanes upside down. They are so aerodynamic that, you know, an airplane uses lift to go up. F1 cars use lift to push themselves in the track, giving them insane amounts of grip and being able to go around corners like no other car.
Right About Now with Ryan Alford
Gratitude Reflections for Business in 2024 - Personal Stories of Gratitude.
Yeah, it's like the same thing.
Right About Now with Ryan Alford
Gratitude Reflections for Business in 2024 - Personal Stories of Gratitude.
That's part of it. He's an old retired racing driver who's come back to a new team. They needed an experience. So that's part of the story.
Right About Now with Ryan Alford
Gratitude Reflections for Business in 2024 - Personal Stories of Gratitude.
You need to go. They got the race in Miami. You need to go down. You and Chris do a little content shoot. Go to the F1 race. See all the fancy cars. I bet that would get you into it.
Right About Now with Ryan Alford
Gratitude Reflections for Business in 2024 - Personal Stories of Gratitude.
Yeah. Audi actually is joining the sport. They bought a team. They're joining the sport.
Right About Now with Ryan Alford
Gratitude Reflections for Business in 2024 - Personal Stories of Gratitude.
We go up to Asheville to hang out with my family.
Right About Now with Ryan Alford
Gratitude Reflections for Business in 2024 - Personal Stories of Gratitude.
I think they're doing a little better. They got the boil notice for water was just recently rescinded. So they should have drinkable water now. So I think they're getting back on their feet.
Right About Now with Ryan Alford
Record-Breaking Live Stream: Influencers Now Dominate The Media and Coca-Cola Backlash for Christmas Ad
Okay, yeah, this is Sawyer. Yeah, it's called No One's Home, and the band's name is Sun House. You can find it on all streaming platforms. No one's home, baby. Hey.
Right About Now with Ryan Alford
Record-Breaking Live Stream: Influencers Now Dominate The Media and Coca-Cola Backlash for Christmas Ad
The ad is terrible.
Right About Now with Ryan Alford
Record-Breaking Live Stream: Influencers Now Dominate The Media and Coca-Cola Backlash for Christmas Ad
It's so boring. What was it before? I'll say that. I don't care if they use AI, but the ad is so boring.
Right About Now with Ryan Alford
Record-Breaking Live Stream: Influencers Now Dominate The Media and Coca-Cola Backlash for Christmas Ad
Yeah, there's a longer version, a little bit longer than that, but it's just that.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
Yeah, I think the biggest thing that my therapist said to me is that when you go through heartbreak, it's the exact same thing as when someone dies. Because one day they're in your life and the next day they're not. You can't reach out to them. You can't call them. And all you want to do is do just that.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
And so it's almost like you go through these stages of grief while knowing they're actually still there.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
Yeah. So the thing about this heartbreak is it's not my first, but it's definitely the worst. And so I definitely learned from my first heartbreak in that I reached out immediately, we got back together, and that set the standard for the next five years of my life. It was a constant coming in and out of each other's lives. I could not get over him. And I was so miserable.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
And I think that I really learned from that in that clearly the contact is the death of me. When our therapist, Ann, told me, the day after I got my heart broken, this time around, that you cannot reach out for 30 days, of course, that was very effective advice. But I was like, shoot, I really want to reach out. I have 25 impulses every single day to reach out to him.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
Call him, text him on Instagram and on social media. Every single funny video, I would literally go to send it to him and then realize we're not together anymore. I can't send this. And it's unlearning all those patterns, untangling our nervous systems. And I think when she said you cannot reach out for 30 days, It was really hard, but it also was a challenge. It gave me something to work towards.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
And I think that that really helped me because I had nothing else to go off of. And I was considering reaching out multiple times and every single day, every day. And I think that I was just so determined to unlearn the pattern of what I did previously of going back.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
And I wouldn't say wasting, but going through five years of my life with the same person that I knew we both weren't meant to be together. And I wasn't going to allow myself to do that again. And so that is the only reason why I stuck it out for 30 days and But not being said, more on another 30th day. What's up? Check the box. Oh, my gosh. July 12th. Ring, ring, ring. I know the exact day.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
I was so proud of myself. But I think that it really... What I will say is... And what Anne said to me is, I'm so proud of you for waiting 30 days. And I think it honestly did really help me unlearn a lot of the patterns because when I picked up the phone, of course, I'm an emotional person, sobbing immediately.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
Yeah. Well, I remember having pretty much a panic attack and nerves and anxious bathroom breaks and absolutely everything was going on. But I can now look back and again realize I probably shouldn't have reached out. And I think it did set me back. While I did feel better about I personally don't really believe in closure. And so I think it didn't give me the closure I was looking for.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
Thank you for having me, mom.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
Yeah, I literally wrote that down right now. I wrote down if I had had these tools that we're about to talk about, including the 30-day rule, including the reality that you and another person's nervous systems are intertwined together and therefore you need to unlearn all of these neural pathways and these impulses that I think I would have gotten over my previous boyfriend. a lot quicker.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
Yes. Both of us would have been so much better off had we had this toolkit and the survival guide. But instead, I took five years.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
I definitely was upset at first, I will be honest. But I don't think I was nearly as upset as I think I would have been had I reached out five days after we broke up. I think the time and the space, I know a lot of people say that helps, but I do think forcing myself to cut ties, to not reach out, I think it also helped that he didn't reach out. So I wasn't Well, I wish he did. Great. He didn't.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
And that completed the full 30 days for the both of us. And I think that when we had our conversation, which I wanted to call and just talk a little bit about the breakup because...
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
our initial parting was very short um and so i wanted to quote get a little more closure did i get the closure no but did i feel like i could really move on at that point yes because i had the official no from him and that being said i was not on an upward path after that It was a continuous rolling hill. So that day, after hanging up, I was feeling good. I was feeling better.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
Okay, I can move on. The next week, sobbing on the gym floor again, hyperventilating, crying, making up fantasies, stalking him constantly, maybe stalking his location sometimes and being a weirdo like most of us are. But It wasn't just an upward trajectory after that. It was three months and then some to really start to feel like I was going to get over this and going to move past this.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
And what I will say about that is the only... Let Them, the tool of Let Them helped me so much in this breakup because every time I saw a photo of him with someone else or on the stories because they would come up, I couldn't control that. And the first thing that would come to my mind is let them. I can't control who he's going to be with. I can't control what he's going to do.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
I can't control who he's going to sleep with. I can't control his life. He's no longer in my life. And that is his decision. It's not mine. And so therefore, just constantly saying, let them, let them, let them, and let me be really sad. Let me grieve. I remember telling you all the time, like, just let me be sad. Stop trying to solve everything. Stop trying to make me feel better. Let me grieve.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
Let me be sad. I need to feel this. And I know everyone around you when you're going through a breakup, they just want to make you feel better because your emotions make them feel really uncomfortable and it brings up stuff for them. And so they just want to squash whatever you're feeling and distract you and I'll take a shot or I'll go do this.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
What you need to do as someone who is going through the breakup is is you can say to people, let me be sad. You are one of my best friends. Let me bring him up in every conversation because I have to talk about him right now. I have to bring this up. And that's a way that you can let them while let me still be grieving and be sad and moving through it and processing.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
And to be honest, I kept doing that and kept doing that And it was helpful, but the only thing that actually got me to the acceptance stage, which we'll talk about next, and everything that you can move once you actually accept that this relationship is over, is the fact that the future I had made up in my mind was never actually going to happen.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
And that is the only thing that I was completely unwilling to accept. always thinking about us getting back together, or five years from now, running into each other in the street of New York City. Oh, nice to see you. 20 pounds lighter, hair blown out, Botox, all to see.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
Yes.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
And that is what, like, kept him around for so long. Is I... In your mind, in a fantasy. In my mind. Because he was not around. No. Not in my text, not in anything. It's dry. Just like your vagina. No, literally. No, literally. Cobwebs. Especially when you're living at your parents' house. But it honestly is all about the fantasy. I think that that was what happened in my last relationship.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
Because you hate yourself after a breakup. You feel insecure. You feel disgusting. You feel unwanted. You feel undesirable. You feel rejected. And trying to, quote, love yourself when the person you really wanted to to feel love from is impossible and I think no one knows how to just fall back in love with their self immediately
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
That's what happened in this relationship is after it was over, I was accepting of the fact that we had broken up. I was accepting of the fact that, you know what, there probably is someone else out there for me. You know what, like we didn't agree on this or that or the other thing. And maybe there is someone better. I don't know. And everything happens for a reason.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
Like I was able to accept that. And whenever anyone came to me and said, you know, maybe this is for the best, I was able to receive that and process that. But what I wasn't willing to accept is that later on, he wouldn't come back in my life. And I think that that is what...
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
fantasizing about that life that I thought we were going to have is what kept me so anchored in this heartbreak and in this depression and it made me like I loved feeling that sadness it was like crack because it made me feel like this is not actually over Sawyer you can hold on to this And that's what I held on to.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
But as soon as you kept saying to me, let them, let them, let them, like, this is over, Sawyer. It sucked to hear, but it also made me realize, like, he's not reaching out. Like, there's not... Anything I can do that's going to change him because I can't control him. It's true.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
And that's what you'll learn in the Let Them Theory book is you cannot control another human being, their thoughts, their feelings, their actions, anything.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
I think another thing, too, that's super easy to hold on to going off of some of your friends who may be hanging on to some anger is the fact that when you break up, the only thing that you hold on to is the good memories. And so you replay and you replay all these amazing memories and make it just seem like a Barbie movie and unbelievable.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
And you just completely block out anything that may have been dysfunctional or you disagreed on or the reason that you broke up. And I think that That also, because you're so in denial in the beginning of it all and going through those stages of grief, that you convince yourself that absolutely everything was perfect, so why are we not together?
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
I think another thing that people say is get back out there, distract yourself, get back into work, pour yourself into so many different avenues just so you don't think about the person. But the reality is you think about them all day, every day. It's unavoidable.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
Yes.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
And other people pressuring you to get back into your own life and you're expected to go back to your nine to five and perform and get back in the family. Pretend you're having fun with friends when you're inside crying and miserable and it's really hard. And so I think... That is another thing that I would avoid saying.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
I think that is such good advice. And it's as simple as moving your bed to another angle or part of your room. Or you don't have to buy anything. Just remove the stuffed animals. Remove anything that they... may have given you and give your room a makeover.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
It's also a fun project that makes you feel like you are changing your environment and starting a new chapter, but not in a way that is related to them.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
And better yet, show up at their house to pick them up for the fitness class. Don't just text them and obviously someone is going to say no. When you're going through a breakup, you don't want to be around anyone. You want to be alone. You want to be sad. Show up. in person because it really matters.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
And whether that means drop off toilet paper or drop off a meal or order them Uber Eats for dinner because I guarantee you they're not spending a ton of time cooking. And when you go the extra mile to actually show up for people and drive them to the workout class or invite them to your parents for the weekend and
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
It really helps because like when someone is mourning a death, with heartbreak, you don't want to do anything. You can barely get out of bed in the morning. And so showing up goes a lot farther than just sending a text and hoping that that cuts it.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
And I can attest to that because I did not do that. I had no plans during the summer. I sat at home. I poured every single ounce of me into my work and I never, ever took a break and it all came crashing down on me. And so now I have set my weekends up. moving forward to really go and prioritize and see my friends. And it's a little harder because we're up in Vermont.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
And just letting people feel what they need to feel in these moments is the answer.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
I'm living at my parents' right now. For all of you guys at home in your 20s living at home, you're not alone. But yeah, so fill your calendar with things you're actually excited about versus filling your calendar with work or things that feel like an obligation or... Anything that working out, like go do fun things that bring you joy and laughter, not things that you feel like you have to do.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
Because I think what drives people off the rails when you either get broken up with or when you're even marching towards a breakup is the fear of being single and the fear of never finding your person. And when you get broken up with or you break up with someone, you feel...
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
so much farther away from the person that you actually are going to meet because you're going through it and you want your old life and you wish that things would actually just go back to normal. You're not looking towards the future. You're looking towards the past. And so if someone told you, hey, in approximately 75 days,
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
The love of your life is going to walk into the coffee shop and come up to you and you're going to go on your first date and the rest is history. What would you do in the next 75 days? I would go skydiving. I would go move to Australia. I would run a marathon. I think about all these things and I'm like, oh, great.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
If that's already set up for me and I am confident in the fact that they're actually coming and then I can live my life happy and be in the moment. But instead, we live in this fear that they're never, ever, ever going to come. And so you just hold on to the past or hold on to the next person you meet.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
It's true.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
I think the one thing that I disagree with my mom on is just the love yourself message. Because again, whether you're dating, whether you're going through a breakup, it's really hard to hear that when all you want is for someone else to love you. And I think, yes, of course, you could absolutely love yourself, but you could still be really upset that you haven't found your person.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
Well, the first thing I will say is I've been there very wholeheartedly and not crying and talking to my friends about it, but on the ground, convulsive crying and my mom holding me as I'm like flailing, having a panic attack. So been there, done that. You are not alone. But what I will say is no one knows how to support you as you're going through a breakup. And I think...
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
What I was going to say is, I think for me personally, when I first met Darren, I also was uninterested in dating. I also was completely over it and still not over even another guy that I was seeing before that. And so I think
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
you feeling like no one is good enough or I don't want to date and I'm so uninterested in these people is not only normal, but I do think that paying close attention to who makes you feel safe, who sparks your interest, who makes you smile and laugh, those are all little pieces of data that can tell you, oh, maybe I want to explore this. And are they going to be here forever? No.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
But I remember when I first met Darren way back when, I wasn't interested. I wasn't... It took me a long time to become and develop and develop that safety and that love and that support. And it's just not immediate with anyone.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
I think that the spark is important, though, and that's what we feel when we're growing up and we're little. And you are trained to look for that. Disney trained you for that. That's not how the real world works.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
What you will get out of this guide is not only how to support yourself through this, but also how to ask for help from other people as you're moving through this, which I am horrible at doing and never asked for help and felt like I could do it all on my own or cry alone in my room with my therapist, but not actually ask the people who are right in front of me.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
I love that. So question number three is from Tim, who is 27. Even though we've broken up, so much of what I do still involves my ex. I want to look good in case she sees me. I want to post on social media for her to see. I want to date someone else to make her jealous. How do I stop living my life for her and start living it for me? Tim.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
And I think that these tools and tricks, what I love about them is you can do them immediately and they suck just like any other healthy way to go through a breakup, but they work. Versus someone saying, push through it, girlfriend. You got this. That is so unhelpful. And often that's what people say. You just got to go through it, Sawyer. Move through it. What the hell does that even mean?
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
Thanks, Mom.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
And what I will say to you, mom, is thank you so much for using the let them theory with me and actually letting me process and saying let them every day and giving me the space that I really needed to move through this and process this. And I couldn't have done it without you. Oh, well, I think you could have.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
okay, do I need to be sitting on the floor absolutely sobbing? Maybe. Yeah, and I did, but that didn't help. That was not a tool for me to activate and for me to use to move through it. That was me processing it.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
I love you, too.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
Okay, I'm sorry. That's okay.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
Can you see my feet in the shot? Nope. Okay, sweet.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
I feel like my feet smell.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
But there you go. That's not what I wanna hear. The thing about breaking up is that I want to keep this person in my mind for as long as possible. I want to feel bad about myself.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
I want to punish myself by going on a revenge diet or doing this or stalking them on Instagram or checking their location or making fantasies up in my mind about what their kids are going to look like with some other girl. And I think that that is the issue is that people going through a breakup We all want to keep the idea in our mind of what the life we had could have been.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
And we do that through...
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
So first I'll talk about what I was doing wrong to keep us intertwined. And then I will tell you about what my therapist shared with me to start the unwinding process, which was painful, but very, very effective. So how I kept me and him intertwined in my mind was what I think a lot of us do these days, which is stalking them on Instagram constantly, posting photos of myself that...
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
with the goal of not, oh, I love this photo of myself, but more so, did he like it? Did he like it? Did he see it? Did he see it? And I think other ways are just thinking about him 24-7. And instead of doing a meditation or trying to switch the channel in my mind or go for a walk or distract myself...
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
I would just spiral in my mind and I would end up sobbing and it would just be, how can I make myself think about his future with other people that's not me? And it's true. It's like, how can I keep our...
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
relationship alive in my mind while it's not even existing other ways I did it were just constantly looking at old photos of us constantly looking at videos of us writing in my journal about him Obviously, again, that's helpful. It's processing. But to what extent?
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
Another way that I would keep us entwined in my mind and to not let go of this idea that our future is over is I would bring him up in conversation all the time. So let's say his name is Darren. I would always bring up, oh, me and Darren used to do that. Or, oh, Darren loves that. That's his favorite meal.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
Or not necessarily even about our breakup, but just ways to bring him up as if we were still together when we were very much not. And or Darren's mom loves that or she used to get me that sweater. It was every little thing to try to keep him alive in my mind. And I was very aware of it, too. And no one ever brought it up with me or made me feel bad about it.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
But I noticed it myself and realized this is not healthy and I need to stop. myself whenever I have a thought that rises. And instead of just blurting it out, I need to calm it down. I need to let him. I need to move forward.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
Yes. That the morning of I was writing the breakup section of the new Let Them Theory book and writing this entire list, let them go and be with other people. Let them move on. Let them get fit and hot and let them love another person more than you. Let them not send you flowers anymore. Let them, let them, let them, let them. That night, I get broken up with. Next morning, Dolly.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
To Anyone Going Through a Breakup: How to Heal a Broken Heart & Move On
I was like, absolutely not. That's not what I want to hear. Let him go and do whatever he wants. No. And so it's so ironic that we were writing this book together. And I literally was writing the heartbreak chapter. As I was not only getting broken up with, but moving through this and I was like, that's the universe. Hello. It sure is.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
I think looking back, I pouted a little bit for sure. But it was, I think, definitely a little emotionally immature acting like an eight-year-old, which you'll learn in the Let Them Theory book. I think another thing with families that happens a lot is I naturally am a lot more similar to dad. And Kendall is a lot more similar to you. And I think Oakley is like a beautiful combination of you both.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
I appreciate you saying that. Love you. And I also want to say, though, that I think there was a lot of times in our relationship where you really did try. Like you actively were constantly trying to break the barrier between our relationship.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
Well, first of all, you tried to, let's go to the mall, swear. Let's buy you a few things so you don't dislike me. Which I think for those of you whose love language is gifting, I think it worked in the moment. And then the next day something would happen that would reconfirm this story I was telling myself that she doesn't care about me. And then it was back to this force field between us.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
And that's what I was going to say is that I think... there was things that happened over time that raised the force field. And then everything after that just reconfirmed it and made me feel like I was always already listening for that message versus I completely shut out the, you matter, here's your gifts, here's that, the other, like I'm showing up to your game.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
I already had decided in my mind that I, This is the story I'm going to tell myself, which is my mom doesn't care about me and I am going to go pout in the corner so she comes closer and closer to me versus trying to approach you in another way. And I think what didn't help that is that outside of the house and outside of our family,
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
every single second it was getting reconfirmed by strangers and by my friends which is oh you're kendall's sister oh my god kendall's blah blah blah oh my gosh you're mel robbins's daughter i love her so much like can you give me your number so i can get to her like give me your email so i can get to her it was always like how can i use sawyer to get to kendall or mom
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
And so I think that that, it was in the house I was telling myself this, but also outside, it was kind of like other people were reconfirming that for me. And so it made the force field indestructible.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
I think it wouldn't be until I showed up differently that our relationship would get better. Really? Yeah.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
I think you were trying to reach out your hand towards the end. And I think I still was in that cross my arms. I'm mad at you. And I like to be mad at you because then you give me more attention phase. Can we just stop right there?
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
No, seriously, what was great about it? I felt like when I was mad at you, then you actually gave me the time of day. And it wasn't until I was in tears or I needed help or I needed some advice, aka your career, that you actually... genuinely were paying attention to me without your phone in your hand, without thinking about other things.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
It was almost like if I was in trouble or I was mad at you or I was in a emergency situation, that is when I would get your full attention and that is the only time I would get your full attention. And so I felt like I was training you unconsciously. Like I had no idea that I was doing this, but that I was training you to come closer to me whenever I was mad at you. Wow.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
It was all because I looked up to you and wanted to be you. And... I think that that was like the same thing with Kendall too. It was like, I just wanted to be her and I didn't know how to communicate that.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
And so instead of being like, I'm so proud of you, I want to learn from you, I want to go in the same direction, or I don't know what I want to do, but I think what you're doing is so cool. Instead, I was just like, I can never do that. And so therefore, I'm going to punish them.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
So I quit my job and I go to Asia for four months and backpack solo to seven different countries. And it was so amazing. I was on such a high. I came back from my trip. I immediately wanted to go back, but I had no money. And it was the middle of winter up in Vermont. I have moved back home, living with my parents at 25.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
A year ago, almost to the day.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
And so I hope it is. I love you, but I hope it is. Well, I'm still living here for everyone. But I thought it was temporary. And so I thought this is going to be a great refresh. I'm going to move to New York. I'm going to get a job within like three weeks of getting back like this will be totally fine. And then I get back and I just crumble with everything. I am crying every day.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
I have no idea how to process my emotions after I just completed like the biggest goal I've ever had in my life. And it's over. And what am I going to do now? And I can't go back in the corporate world, but I will never work for my mother. And mom approaches me. And ever so slyly, she says, hey, Soy, you need money, clearly, and I need a little bit of help.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
How about you work on for the entire next week a little research project that I call the Let Them Theory? And I will pay you However much, I think it was like 50 bucks.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
I still can't believe it. Why can't you believe it? I am not a writer. I beg to differ, but go ahead. And I just remember you saying, Sawyer, I think we need to write this book together. And after loving the research project, I signed up and said, okay, but not full time. I will be on the side and I will be a contractor. And then I was still resistant.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
And at this point, I was not in the mindset, I'm doing this to improve my relationship with my mom. That is not what I was going into this. It was, I need some moolah and she's got it. So I just want to put that out there that this was not an intentional self-discovery. I need to improve my relationship with my mother. This was How my mom marketed it was, this is a launching pad.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
And I said, great. For? For New York.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
And for your next gig. And you can learn as much as you want. You can stay for as long as you want. There is no guardrails. But I really need some help with this project. So for however long you wish, it's up to you and we can get started. And I had said, okay, fine, but I'm never going to be full time. And... Let them.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
And I think it's so hilarious because growing up, every single week, I think, mom would say once a week, I just can't wait to have a family business.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
when we started working together, I finally understood everything that you do and everything that you have gone through in the past 25 years that I've been alive. And I just had such an overwhelming appreciation and compassion for everything that you do on a daily basis and how much stress and overload, which I am now experiencing, you experience.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
And it's... Running a business this size. Yes. No one knows how big this business is.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
It is insane. And I genuinely don't think Kendall Oakley or dad will ever know how much you go through. And I would never know how much you go through. And everyone that is relying on you and needing your attention and needing things from you. And I think that that also really helped me basically look through your frame of reference and your lens
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
And I think it just allowed me to have so much more compassion for you and so much more understanding and just appreciation. And once I saw like the internal side of the business and truly put myself in your shoes. I think it's only then that I was like, I need to show up differently. And I want to cheer for her. I don't want to boo her. And now I understand.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
I loved the visual of the tug of war because immediately what I thought was, if you put me and you on either side of the tug of war, every single time that I was mad at you, I was tugging. And every single time you would basically hold on tight and tug closer to me because you just wanted to save me and do all this and do all that.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
Whenever we fight, whenever we used to argue in the past, it would be both of us tug of warring. And I think with the let them theory, which you started implementing with me and our family way before I even knew it, I think what ended up happening is I would start to tug and you would drop the rope and I would fall down, which happens every single time.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
And it's not falling down in the sense of I'm less than or screw her. It's more so, oh, she's just not playing this game anymore. And I think that's what's so beautiful. What is so beautiful about the Latin theory is you actually can't play the game of tug of war when one person isn't playing. It takes two.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
Yes, 100%. So we start writing the book together. And geez. What do you mean, and geez? Geez, oh, geez. It was not a breeze. Oh my God, no. We, mom. Yes. This was horrible.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
I genuinely think if the topic of the book was not letting other people be themselves, live their lives in order for you to live your best life and for you to finally be yourself, I would not be sitting here today. How come? Because this book writing process brought us closer, but also was weird. It was hard. It was really hard.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
I think I said it 25 times a day. And let me just paint the picture for you guys. Okay. So we are living together. Which is, I would not recommend. Do not recommend. Do a project virtually or something. But we are living together. So every single day for the entire last year, this is how it would go. We'd wake up. Hey, Mom. Hey, Soy. How are you? Oh, my gosh. You sleep well? Yeah, sleep well.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
Okay. Then we go to exercise together. No boundaries. Then we eat breakfast together. One of us is making the same smoothie for the both of us. Then we're in such a positive mood. We go up to the office. We sit down. And then all of a sudden, our personalities come out. Mom, her brain is the most beautiful, creative, absolute disaster tornado I've ever worked with in my entire life.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
She cannot make a decision. She is all over the place. And you cannot contain her in structure. She wants to creative write for... I don't even know how you got your other two books done, to be completely honest.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
She would love to creative write every single day for the rest of time. She wants no boundaries, no structure. She pretty much writes the same thing 20 times in a row. And it sucks. And then I come in and all I want to do is, what is the organization? What is the structure? Give me the table of contents. Give me the outline. And I would literally set up
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
outlines for her, write this sentence here, write this, this here, write this. And the amount, you should see our Google Drive. It is like 5,000 different documents because it is me creating structure, Mel not writing, mom not writing in it. And then her creating a whole separate document where she chooses to write everything. And then coming back to me and then we come back together.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
It was both of our brains... do not work well together. And so the entire time I was trying to control her and she was trying to basically run away from me. And so every single day, it would start off with us just saying let them every single time. I really had to let go of my need to put this into a structure and come up with the main points and summarize it and...
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
just work in order of chapters. Meanwhile, we are all over the place and creative writing and we're doing this and then we're scrapping this. We literally went through 11 manuscripts. And when I say 11 manuscripts, it's not a sentence change. It is a scrap the entire thing and rewrite from page zero the entire manuscript, 11 of them in the last year. All of which I said, I think we're good here.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
Not good enough. And it was not good enough. I agree.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
But I literally had to say let them every single time. And so that's about 12, 12 p.m. when we start getting hangry and annoyed. And then we eat because we both notice that we're starting to get snippy and on edge with each other. And then comes the afternoon where... It can go one of two ways. Mostly one way, which is blow up fight, crying. You don't listen to me. You don't do this.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
You don't do that. And then it's a total relationship like therapy session between the two of us where we end up crying and hugging and then getting back to work. And then... If it was a good day, we have a glass of wine. If it was a bad day, we have a glass of wine. And then we go to bed. And then we literally, every single day, Monday through Sunday, that was our routine.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
I think that also using the Let Them Theory in this book writing process made this book so much better because you let me write from a 20s perspective and I let you, even though I can't relate, from a 50s perspective. And so I feel like this book has so much relatable stories and it reaches so many different age groups, mine, yours, everyone's in between, that...
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
it actually brought the finishing product to be so much better. And I think that just having both of our writing styles woven in throughout of it is really amazing.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
100%. And I think that also you, I noticed that you had done let them a lot with me when I was freaking out about things that you didn't think were a big deal and vice versa. And I want to say two things. I want to say one piece of advice of another way that you can use let them and let me. And I want to say one warning that I experienced during this process is
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
Oh, so the first is that what I love about the let them theory is that you can vocalize it. And so I feel like in a lot of our conversations at the end of the day, mom, you would I would say to you, I am trying to let you have your process and I'm trying to let you creatively write about this topic. And at the same time, I need you to let me.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
create these briefs and create this, this, because this is how I think. And otherwise, I don't understand what you're doing. And so I feel like it's a tool for you to approach a conversation as well as saying it to yourself.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
Whereas you can go up to your loved one or whoever you are hoping to communicate better with or build your relationship stronger and say, I am trying to let you do X. And at the same time, I need you to let me do X.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
And then the warning that I will say is I found myself throughout the process whenever you and I would get into it a little bit that I would always let them, and I would always use that tool, but I rarely followed up with let me. And let me explain.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
So you would say, I need to do it this way, I need this from you, I need this, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, X, Y, Z. And my initial response, I would tell myself, let them, do not react, do not play into it, do not try to be right, And as a result, my response was always silence. And I would always just let you go and let you do your process.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
And I would sit back and feel very sad and emotional and left out and felt like you weren't listening to me. And as a result, my emotions would bubble up and bubble up and then I would explode.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
And I think what was really crucial and that I really noticed is that whenever I use let them with you, I always had to follow it up with let me, which is don't react, but collect my emotions, take a breath, say let them, let mom, let her do her process. Instead, let me communicate how this makes me feel or communicate how
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
How her not using the organization or the this or disregarding the month's worth of work that I've done and creating something brand new is making me feel.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
And what's so beautiful about the let them theory is the fact that it's a gift to someone else as well. How so? I think that all I want is for people to use the let them theory on me. I want people to say, let Sawyer do her thing. I want people to say, let Sawyer be who she is. I want you to say, let Sawyer want to organize and have her OCD and let me be who I am without trying to control me.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
And so I think that our relationship improved because we both were using let them on each other. And so I think that The Let Them Theory improves relationships because it's not only when you start using it, the first step in proving and breaking this toxic dynamic.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
But I think it's such a great gift to share with other people and to share with your loved ones because when they start using it on you, you're going to be like, hallelujah. Hallelujah, girl. Keep using it. It's so amazing. And it's great.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
I think my story about you was that you don't care about me and that you only care about work and my siblings and... I still hate hearing it, even though I know it's not... It's not my current story.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
That... I think my current story is that you've gone above and beyond and worked your ass off your entire life to provide for us and to show up for us and to love us in so many ways and just be the best role model in the world. And I think you're the best mom ever.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
Sawyer, welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. Thanks for sitting down with me. Thanks, Mom.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
The last thing I'm going to say is something I'm really excited about is that you and I not only are going to have this tool for the rest of our life, but we're going to use this tool for the rest of our life. And I am so confident it's going to continue with every use. that our relationship will get better and better.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
And the fact that we have this book and this tool that I can give to my own kids to improve, I'm 25, I don't have kids, but eventually. Do you use it with your significant other? Yes. Every day. Does he use it with you? I hope so. But he will be the first to be getting the book. So I'm very excited to gift it to him so he can use the let them theory on me.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
I love you, mom.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
Okay, I can tell now that we've worked together for almost a year. No, I actually like the pony sometimes.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
I'm sorry.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
Okay, let's start over.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
This is fantastic, though.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
Holiday season. Do-do-do. Get your Let Them Theory book tomorrow. Ay, ay, ay. That was fire.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
Fire cracker.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
Yes. Yes, perfect. I forgot.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
Very cute. I love you. I love you too. What a gift you are. Thank you. Love you. Wow. Good job. That was so great.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
That's it, okay. Good setup. I think I always wanted to be, I knew I always wanted to be closer with you. And I think if I think back to before working together, our relationship, it wasn't horrible. I do have to preface. It was not horrible, but I don't think it was great.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
So everything that I'm about to say, I think was very unintentional on your part. But I think after a lot of therapy and just reflecting on myself and I think especially working with you, I've recognized this since. But before growing up, I always thought it was intentional. And so I think a huge thing is the fact that you were never home and you were always on the road.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
And then when you came home, all you did was talk about work. And I think that from my perspective as your kid, all I wanted you to do when you came home was like, come to my games and prioritize me and give me attention. And it just felt like it wasn't there unless we were asking you about your work. And I think on a separate note, My sister, Kendall, she is younger than me by 18 months.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
She is a phenomenal singer and she is pursuing a career out in L.A. And she grew up as a performer and she grew up in the spotlight. And I think she... is on the same track as you in being in the spotlight and being out in the world and people recognizing you, which is unbelievable. But I think I saw the both of you always...
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
Relating on that and feeling very jealous that I didn't have a natural talent that I could deliver that would connect me to the two of you. So I always saw you guys as... on the other side of the room and her getting all the praise for all the singing and what she deserves and is amazing. But at the same time, I was just like, oh, I can't relate to my mom or my sister. Like, I'm different.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
I don't have a natural ability. Every time I'm addressed, it's, oh, you're Kendall's sister. Oh, are you the singer? Or are you Mel Robbins's daughter? That's awesome. It's never like, oh, you're Sawyer? It's so nice to meet you. And so it was always I was a product of you or Kendall. And I think that that really made me... I think just resent you, honestly. And so instead of...
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
being really celebratory of your work and how much you worked and just you as a person, I think I saw it as all these fans, all these people out there who love my mom are taking my mom away from me. And so therefore, I'm not annoyed at all them. I'm annoyed at her.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
In high school and in middle school, you were on the road upwards of 200 days in the year. And I think as you were gone, I always... I felt myself growing closer to dad and growing closer to Kendall and Oakley because we were always together. And then when you would come home, it felt like I...
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
I think it was a story I was telling myself, but it felt in my eyes like you either were talking about work or you were talking about Kendall.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
and how are we going to grow Kendall's singing career, and how are we going to do this, and all of the plays and all this stuff, which is unbelievable, but I think that that was really my impression, is she's a workaholic, which she still is, but I have more of an appreciation for it now, and the fact that I just had this story in my head that...
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
It was like all I wanted was your attention and I felt like it was going everywhere but me. I think it was.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The One Tool to Transform Your Relationships: The Let Them Theory
It's not okay. I forgive you.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
If You’re Feeling Behind in Life, Listen to This
Hey. I can't stop crying. My face is so puffy. And it's all because I have no fucking idea what I'm doing. I want to make a lot of money, as everyone does, but as A 25 year old coming home from an extraordinary trip and thinking I'm gonna make so much money off the bat. I'm not. And I also haven't done anything to make money either. I'm dying.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
If You’re Feeling Behind in Life, Listen to This
I feel like there's a million things to do and I can't do anything. My to-do list feels like so long, but on my to-do list is like call so-and-so catch up with blank stop crying oh my god oh god i will
The Mel Robbins Podcast
If You’re Feeling Behind in Life, Listen to This
It's getting louder. Is it wind? Like, what is that? What is jingling?