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Sarah Tollemache

Appearances

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1002.224

I'm on the edge.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1013.029

That's appalling.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1017.211

You get Hamas now.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

102.052

That's how I felt too.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1026.496

He says it on the thing. Wow. That's Trump's age, I believe. Yeah.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1033.539

Okay. I'm the greatest therapist of all time. That's a good soda, Alan. Oh, you're a pussy.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1056.178

Blue cardigan. That was ugly Ari. Yikes. Oh, mama.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

107.768

Oh, wow. I had to go to Staples.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1082.401

Interesting. Massad? Huh? Oh, sorry. Thinking of Ari.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1109.247

No sleep. It's psychotic. Screaming, shitting.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1147.83

No, that's it. Well, we're all about reaction. You know, we want to kill, we want to do well, and you're just bombing with this baby all day.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1185.287

Yeah, he's cute. I love it. Doug Key has a six month old?

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1191.491

Yeah, something like that. And he's like, you get a smirk of a smile and you're like, oh my God.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

122.055

But what about when you see the pre-check line is longer than the other line? And you're like, how did we get here?

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1251.167

Well, it sounds like you might start.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1279.306

Yeah, that's true.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1281.328

That is tough. Don't you ever think, how the hell did babies survive in the Middle Ages? Because they need so much. A lot of them didn't. I think you have eight. You have like a lot of babies. Oh, you have eight. That's true.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1305.996

Yeah. They would just work. That was the other thing. Back in the day, you had a staff. Yeah. It was like eight kids were now plowing the field and milking the cow.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1319.826

We're thinking about fucking a baby, because people, they diddle babies, but like... Yeah, fucking a baby, I hope. You can't. How are you going to fuck a baby? I always wondered that. Like that b-hole is like, it's like a thread in a needle.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1334.537

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We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1406.727

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We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1420.561

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We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1446.013

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We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1464.943

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We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1487.583

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We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1565.81

That's much easier to fuck.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1589.145

Yeah, of course. No one thinks they're going to be the parent who shows other people the kid photo, but every parent has done it in my existence. Yeah, and you know when you do it. I'm going to do it, I guess.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1645.066

Yeah. Wouldn't you love to do that just once? Because everybody goes, oh, my God, how about that? Just go, eh, I don't care. It's ugly. It's like every other baby.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1665.158

You know? I thought about that.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1672.902

Yeah, just go with it. Now it's a fantasy.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1677.355

Yeah. Great movie. Both of them. What about strippers? You go to a strip club. Do you kind of go, ah, that was a baby. Where's the mom? Where's the dad? Are you still cool with that?

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1720.262

What about when a baby goes by? Decent ass.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1731.768

But what about the fact that it's your baby?

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1735.569

How do you know it's actually cute? You're going to be biased.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1742.334

I've seen some ugly babies out there. I've never heard a parent go, damn, my kid's pretty ugly. They can't say it, but they... You think they know? Of course they know. I don't know about that.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1762.389

This is the best baby.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1769.176

Yeah. The Admiral. The Admiral. The fish. Yeah, that's the Admiral Fish guy. And then there's Mr. Bean all the way on the back right.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1783.21

Yeah, he's cute.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1808.8

I can see that.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1810.823

He kind of looks like Truman.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1815.349

Oh, there is Mr. Bean.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1818.894

Oh, that one looks like a ball sack. It's all wrinkly. Look at the Today one. Good lord. Yeah, some of these are bumming me out. That's like a nose job. The black one's not bad.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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I feel like I could sell some tickets. Throw in a baby page. Yeah, you're like, I really... What about modeling? Would you be down for that?

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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Begrudgingly, but he still comes. That is true. Finding Your Dad's podcast is the new Finding Your Dad's porn, because it's just like, you're going to be like, I love getting jizzed on by men. I know.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

1972.274

Right. Or all of our. It's going to be pretty common, I think.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

199.671

Well, there is a microchip in there, obviously.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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Your mom? Yeah. Oh, boy.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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Oh, she doesn't even get fruit baskets.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

211.706

Oh. So I'm not a complete monster. Yeah. All right. I guess I am. Remember we went to London? Yes. Yes. Me and him did a TV show in London. They got us free first class tickets. And the wife was like, I want to go to London. And I was like, all right. And it was the same thing. So she sat in the way back of the plane. And I'm in the international first class. It was a whole other ball game.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2117.331

Yeah, of course. And on stage, you're heightened and you're trying to be funny. But you forget that people don't really talk like we talk in the real world.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2133.2

Isn't that weird?

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2157.229

No. And you're talking about a phone.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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Look at that face. Don't be a twat. Yeah.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2169.706

but it's so true i did a show in uh louisiana my whole family came out mom dad cousins aunt uncle it was brutal i'm trying to clean it up in real time i'm like and that flipping cum shop you know like oh what am i doing and then we all had dinner later and it was so quiet and weird it was brutal damn it was do you think they didn't enjoy it or they were just too proper or

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2192.355

I think we just were waspy, you know, Gentiles in Louisiana. So we all just pretended it didn't happen and kept going and talked about Trump getting shot.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2232.454

You know who else did this?

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2240.081

I know. You know what's the deal with these rappers? You ever listen to a Cardi B song? It's like, then he put his dick in my ass and I screamed fast or whatever. I can't rap. But do they go to lunch? I guess they don't have parents, rappers. I assume.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2260.593

Yeah, but those songs, those Nicki Minaj and Megan Thee Stallion. She's pretty good. Is she? I mean, I'm not saying they're not talented. I'm just saying it's filthy stuff. I mean, Wet Ass Pussy is the name of a song. That's the title.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2273.961

Who knows what's in the tune?

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

234.647

And that was a fight. Did you bring her back a roller? I did. I gave her a pat of butter. Just the butter. But yeah, that was a rough plane ride. Yeah, what can you do? Six hours later, we made up. Well, she should grab herself by her bootstraps.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2350.236

It was for someone else. But in their world, it's on the internet.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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As your mother.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2380.892

But at least we have an outlet. I'd rather deal with some of this backlash and have awkward dinners with my folks every now and then than just keep it buttoned up for the rest of my life at some bank job.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2392.208

Yeah. And it's just who we are. I don't even think we're trying to be that outrageous. No. I'm actually dialing it back.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2401.016

Yeah. Can you imagine going through life in a cubicle and all that? I mean, I used to work in corporate America. It was not easy.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2421.292

Oh, it was terrifying. She was not happy. It was a risk. It was a real risk. It was a risk that paid off.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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Oh, she flipped.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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She flipped, but we got the clip.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2485.78

I think it was the bed. I'm on his bed.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2504.919

Well, I'm a comedian. I love it. You take risks, but yeah. That is a big swing. Well, remember that Curb episode where he's like... Your wife? Oh, no, your kid. He's got a pretty big dick. And he's like, how could you say my kid has a big dick? He's like, you can say my wife has a nice dick. And then later, Jeff is like, why would you say his kid's got a big dick? He goes, I took a risk.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

251.176

Yeah. This is pre-pregnant. Good point. That was a great time. Great trip. Horrible TV show.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2523.029

And I've never related to a moment more in that show.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2567.49

I don't know.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2576.536

He's good on Twitter every now and then. Like he'll zing Lewis or something and it's pretty funny.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2582.52

Oh, great. All right. I can't wait to see him.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2585.623

I'll feel it out. I'll steer clear, and I won't follow him.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2592.849

He said so. Oh, all right. You guys got any peeves?

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2596.411

Oh, I got peeves. I got big peeves. I wrote down some peeves. I got one. I blew my wad on the last show, but I got a couple left. I think I got one. How about this? Please.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2609.439

Oh, I can't wait.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

266.96

Piece of shit. It was trash. It was a bad show. It was bad. But boy, they whipped us into shape. I remember I showed up and you're like, you're in for it, fatty. They're going to kill you. And I hadn't done a lick of work.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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Interacting is a bummer because you've got to do a bullshit small talk. But I'm with you on this because I think people want to sit in their car. They like the car. I notice people will go get food in my neighborhood and sit in their car and eat it, which to me is so sad. Yeah, I'd rather stand on the sidewalk and eat it.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2717.823

Yeah, me and Salicus went to In-N-Out in L.A., and he wanted to do drive-thru, and I said, park it. The In-N-Out line is like a mile long in that driveway. God, it's a line. It's a little line.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2761.174

Don't take a cruise then.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2800.08

Yeah. How about those people who they bring you up and they wait a little? They want to absorb some of that applause and they start walking slow and you're like, what are you doing? How long do you expect these people to applaud you?

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2810.982

You're like a bullshit comic, and they're like... No one knows you. Looking up to the risers. Yeah. I hate that. I also hate when comics do this.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2822.246

Oh, that's not good. That drives me fucking crazy. What are you, Hulk Hogan?

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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I was like, the problem's Louie. I don't want to put it out there like he was mad, but... He doesn't like a good behind-the-back gag.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

2877.815

I can see that. He's, like, goof-trooping behind them. That is actually pretty infuriating. It's crazy, but also hilarious. Yeah. Well, isn't it funny how comedians want to get laughs, but they don't want to be the butt? We don't want to be the butt of the joke real bad. Of course, yeah.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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I stayed up all night. I did it all night or I crammed all day. I had books open.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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These are good peeves. I'm with you. You've got to get off the bus, get some air. We're not taking a lot of buses these days. That's true. Thank you, folks. The cruise, though, I did a cruise, the Burt cruise, and we docked in the Bahamas. So you're like, I got to go see the Bahamas. But you do have that crazy fear of that thing. And you're like, no, it's pulling away.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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And you're stuck in the Bahamas picking coconuts.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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It was like that times 10 for like two weeks.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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Yeah, what do you got there, Stripey?

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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Oh my God. It's the best.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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Ooh, Texas gal.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

3054.381

Yeah, well, they gave in smaller. I mean, there's some real, it's like a tub. Right. Like a rectangle this big.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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Yes. Yeah. Yeah, you get a toe in, basically.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

3131.737

Didn't he just die?

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

3134.66

Yeah, yeah. Also, there was a guy who was a famous walker from New Orleans. Famous guy who was a walker. His whole thing was walking, and he died walking. He had a heart attack. What's that guy's name? I can't think of his name.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

314.486

We're comedians. Remember that breakfast though at that hotel? Woo! That was something else.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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Paul Walker. He did die. Maybe he flipped his car. His whole thing was like the walking guy. That was like his thing. You got to get out and walk. You got to get steps. And then he died. Got a heart attack while walking.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

3210.66

Is the kid cool with it? Or is he doing it while he's sleeping?

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

3220.703

Oh, I have seen this guy.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

3222.604

Yeah, he's too smooth. Yeah, it's a little weird. He's like an android. Yes.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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How old is he? Don't die, don't die, don't die.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

3237.028

Oh, he looks good. Wow.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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No, definitely not fun. This guy's a nightmare to hang out with, I guarantee you. Hand this guy a Dorito. He probably goes to bed at like 7 p.m. Yeah. Oh, my God. Is that Grandpa? Jesus Christ. These guys are all fucking. Yeah, it looks sexual.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

325.127

Oh, I hate the international lounge. It's just different. It's different. Yeah, I don't know. But it makes you realize we're number one, baby. We got a croissant, which I guess is French. But we got all kinds of good stuff. Look at this pile of miscarriage over here.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

3304.908

You're living long, but horribly. We had a friend... We all died 63.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

3313.053

Wait, bless you. I loved a rotisserie. Me too.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

3319.357

I don't even remember that. Yeah. All right, I'll leave this for a pee. Ah, that worse. Oh, here he is with some Kardashians. Man, that guy is smooth.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

3333.421

Well, this one's kind of easy and hacky and we've all seen it, but it happened to me so bad the other day that I couldn't... The lady at the restaurant who orders a ton of shit on the menu and has to take a photo of every food item.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

3350.247

Oh, he does that? Yes. Oh, my God. Like, I couldn't eat. She's like, hold on, hold on. It was like six of us at a restaurant. And she's like laying it all out. So then she stood up on the chair and did one of these to get all of it. I wanted to kill her. I wanted to eat the food. Everything came out. She had to get up.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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It was a very pretty presentation. I think she just wanted it. We were at this dim someplace in Midtown. Yeah, really good dim. That's what I ordered. And it was, the food was great, but it was very cool looking and they'd open it and like smoke would come out and all that shit. They're inviting it.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

3408.235

Yeah. Like, imagine if you were in an orgy and you're like, let me get those tits. Like, no, I want to squeeze them.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

3415.301

Right. So it ruined the whole sum.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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Yeah, take all the photos you want, but let me eat normally. I had to wait and be like, you good? Am I alright? Can I go in on the dumps now? So that was a problem. Yeah, I don't like that one bit. And I guarantee she won't even post anything. I think she's just like, you never know.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

3456.218

Quite a stream on that.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

3469.244

Of course. Yeah. And a hook shot. Yeah.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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And I also do.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

3510.584

openly next to each other well it's very efficient when men are all about in and out efficiency it's not about feelings or privacy our line does move but i heard this statistically ariel elias has a joke is because something about you guys don't wash your hands matter is that no who does not after urinating i do what you're a lady

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

3567.347

One night I did Alaska. I think I drank too much. Philippines. Now see, I have a theory. You go to some towns, and there's these urinals. See the white ones there with the red? What's that red writing to the right? Oh, yeah. You see those all over, like very white towns. You get the partition in Mixed Town, because I think black guys came in, and you had to... You can't compete.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

3596.858

You don't want to see the dick and you don't want him seeing yours. He's coming in there with that thing with a fucking magnum light.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

3611.708

Absolutely, yeah. But I think it's newly diverse. I don't think they've upgraded.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

3617.171

That's all white. Okay. There's no partition in deep Alabama. Huh. Check it out. Get your head on when you go to these towns, and I guarantee you there's no partition in Salt Lake City.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

364.186

Yeah, bad food, bad weather, bad teeth. Vaginas are bad, too. Dry.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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Oh, those are classic. Yeah, yeah.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

3704.22

That's a lot of piss bit on those urinals. You want to do bits? Sure. Or Rex.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

3743.666

But that might be a totally different Lone Star. It's a common term. Was it a Texas cop?

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

3836.151

That's a good feeling when you buy it off a shot and it turns out great.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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This is the whole movie.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

3964.6

So it starts about a record store, but he actually goes inward on himself.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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Hit me with it.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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That's a slug right there.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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Yeah, yeah. Here's some tips.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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Yeah, I hear she's a nightmare to hang out with, but great jugs. Yeah, that movie's good.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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That's my rec.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4134.949

Good one. I gotta tell you, I just watched Going Clear. I've been on a Gibney doc. That's a good one. Love Gibney. Yeah. Did you see the Paul Simon? Yeah. Snoozefest. Yeah, it wasn't the best. It wasn't the best.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4157.323

Really? Well, you guys both watched the Pete Rose. Yeah.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4161.525

I got to watch that.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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That should have made me laugh that hard. No, that was just sitting there.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

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Oh yeah, that's great. Love a good doc. You ever seen the exit to the gift shop? Oh, yeah.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4266.374

He's the funniest guy.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4277.379

Ah, were you able to?

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4322.578

In the grand scheme of movie making, pretty cheap.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4351.307

Do you get like a nickel? I guess that goes to Louis.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4372.194

We were on a curve.

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Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4375.435

Oh, thanks. Everybody liked it that saw it.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4384.506

Boy, they throw that box office USD right up there, don't they? Yeah. Good Lord. I really kind of nailed it.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

439.336

Yeah, I hate a fruit basket. You ever gotten an edible arrangement? No. It stinks. It's just like mangoes on sticks and stuff.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4414.685

Yeah, yeah. Same thing happened with Horace and Pete. I think everybody was like, what the fuck is this thing? And then he sold it for millions to FX or something.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4441.09

That's going to sell out.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4451.678

You think you got a hot new 50? Yeah.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4458.205

Wow. What the hell?

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Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4502.06

oh for sure yeah those ones that kind of shot in like studios yeah what a weird place to shoot this and that regan improv with whichever one that is it's one of the i walked the moon my number one all time yeah one of the great specials and you feel like you're at the club it's so good yeah so i'm uh yeah i'm excited we'll see what do you got tolamash i got my special coming out that one's old i should update my website god you look gorgeous sarah

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

451.6

It's bad. Now they got these boxes of food they send you, and they put like an ice cube in the bottom. But the ice cube always melts, and the food goes bad.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4582.426

Think of this.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4680.356

Matt, can you crack a window in the car? All right. Maybe I got one that's similar, but it's got no ending. Oh, perfect. Okay, sorry. Oof. Ugh. So I got this idea where I saw a guy puke on the subway car, like puked right on it. A guy saw it. He puked because, you know, he's like, oh, you know, and then I got a whiff and I almost yacked. And I thought it's weird a puking makes you have to puke.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4703.341

And I thought, why can't orgasms be like that? And that hits. And then I go, that would actually make the guy rubbing around the subway like a good thing. You know, now you see a guy like rubbing out. You're like, look at this piece. Yeah.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4715.959

that's funny but then i don't know where to go so i got the two laughs there and then nothing well i would start rubbing it out too in order to get an orgasm like it's only a smell right oh like what are you yeah i guess i i went off smell it's just like i saw a guy puke but yeah orgasm why yeah that's that's that's a good point i would go the other way though i'm like then a guy drinking up the subway would really be a problem

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4763.113

Right. I'll break my wife. She can finally get off.

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Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4766.995

I like that it's a problem more. Yeah. Because I went with, hey, this is great. Right. But that's less funny. Okay, okay.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4777.379

All right. Anything, Mom?

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Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4799.829

Oh, yeah. It's a tip, right?

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4875.69

It was like granola and yogurt. It was $40. Just go boop, boop, boop. And they get used to it. Then if you don't do it, they give you a look. Right. You're the asshole.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4890.299

What about with the iPad? Just to throw it back on them, she's like, it's going to ask you a question, and you go, I can't read. Yeah. So now she's got to say it.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4905.283

I'm blind. I'm so stupid. I'm blind to something. I'm Amish. I don't know what this is.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4915.062

Yeah, no less tipping. You're like, oh, there's a 20. Give him a dollar. That's not bad.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4922.006

We all are. It's an epidemic.

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Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4943.143

Yeah. And then people go like, well, these are hard times for people. The economy is out of control. You're like, but it's out of control for me, too.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

4955.732

I don't know that.

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Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

496.15

See, when hobos get hip to factor, they're going to be eating like kings. They're already porch pirates stealing everything. When they find a factor box, that's food for a week. You need a microwave, don't you? No. Hobos, they eat out of the trash. They're not going to be like, oh, this is going to need a microwave oven. They're eating garbage. Sorry. What was that factor?

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

5007.875

That's a great comedy town.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

5011.638

Hell yeah. All right, folks, get some Bodega Cat.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

5022.822

It'll be back by then.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

5057.526

Hey, coming to St. Louis, Missouri, Atlanta, Georgia, Vancouver, Orlando, Florida, Fort Lauderdale, Portland, Oregon, London, Ontario, Toronto. We added a show. Come out to that Newport, Rhode Island for that Rogue Island Comedy Festival, Monterey, Oakland, Winnipeg, Pegme, Cleveland. I'm also doing hilarities before Sam, so I'm sneaking in. He's getting sloppy seconds.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

5084.462

Fayetteville, Wichita, Kalamazoo, Chicago Theater. That's a fun one. Poughkeepsie, Torrington, Connecticut, wherever that is, and Charleston, Nashville, Nola, Wilkes-Barre, and Inglewood. So yeah, check it out. Get on the Punch-Up. Watch Sarah's special. Go to Town Hall. Check out Amazon. We all got stuff out there. Give it a go. Give it a look.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

5112.746

Hell yeah. Yeah, good Soundgarden song. Thanks, folks. Get a bottle. We'll see you in hell.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

526.957

Sorry. Butt pirate. Classic. I haven't heard that one in a while. Porch pirate would be, I guess, black?

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

535.98

That one's actually worse than pirate.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

548.721

You pull out the telescope and then you put it in him. A vast ye penis. Yes. Hey, look at that butt pirate. There you go. Pillow biter is pretty clever. Whoever came up with pillow biter, that guy deserves a high five.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

564.643

Or, you know, whatever. True, true. Whoever's biting the pillow. Well, a cocksucker would be a woman, too. Absolutely. Right? Unlike Sarah. Yeah.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

572.933

No way. Maybe a birthday. Maybe. Remember the hookup coupons? Is that a thing?

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

585.495

Right. You know what I mean? Right. Yeah. You know, like this is good for one hand job, one BJ.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

595.104

Ooh. That's how you should do it.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

600.729

Some lipstick on. Yeah. I would give one to my mom, not a hookup one. When I was a kid, I was like, here you go, one free clean the kitchen, one hug, you know, one foot rub. You never did that?

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

614.64

You gave your mom a foot rub? What the hell? Yeah, I gave my mom foot rubs all the time. Great son.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

656.52

You can't get down there.

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Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

693.255

Washcloth. I mean, I know of jizz rag. I've never heard of a washcloth. Yeah, I don't have one either. Who am I kidding? Weird.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

7.284

Hey, we're here. We might be drunk. Look at this. We got old Sammy the Bull as usual. And then our special guest, the prom king and queen. Absolutely. Joe List and Sarah Tolomash.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

719.061

What about these stogies? That can't be helping the crackle.

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Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

729.87

That's a nice epidermis you got there.

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Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

762.923

Goosebumps? The great book. The pricklies. Yeah. I'll go stubble because I know that she's been shaving. But if you get a full on hippie chick with the Robin Williams arms in there, that's not happening.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

780.919

There's a hot, smoking hot waitress at one of the comedy clubs. I'm not going to get specific, but she's very hot. And the other day she did one of these. Yeah. And I saw a big old Richard Simmons come out of there. I almost quit working that club.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

796.893

Yeah, exactly. God damn it.

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Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

808.339

No way. Yeah. Pull it up. Playboy?

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Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

835.111

They put it right on the crease of the page. That was smart.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

842.579

I get it that it's like counterculture. She's pushing back on the man, but not a fan. But I think, though.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

940.999

Well, Ari also gets a Mohawk, you know, every two months. He's riding a skateboard. Yeah, exactly. It's like Bart Simpson. Yeah, he's wearing a suit like the Riddler.

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Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

949.784

I thought that was his most offensive look.

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Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

952.886

The one where he had the bald man. Oh, that was for the bachelor party.

We Might Be Drunk

Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

955.788

With the mustache?

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Ep 196: Joe List & Sarah Tollemache

967.535

yeah handsome's a stretch obviously it's weird because he looks better wow that's rough he looks like uh like a terrorist osama bin laden yeah jesus he uh he looks better now than he did in like the early 2000s when he had that kind of jewy curl yeah with the crazy glasses he looked really bad even before that because that's he's getting it together here