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Sarah Silverman

Appearances

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1025.754

It's more, it has to be plural. Or like, who was the vice, can you believe, I can't remember the guy who ran for vice president with Kamala? Walls. Walls, yeah. It was Tim Walls. That also, in my head, I was like, pussy walls.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1044.19

What is that from the pussy walls? Why do I have, is that a phrase?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1079.093

That was, I mean, honestly, a little bit my hope for all of you is that it's infected.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1098.223

Labia is the lips.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1101.045

I recently learned all this. Vagina is the hole that is the hole where the penis goes in and the baby comes out. The urethra is not on your clitoris, but it basically is. I think it's like under the hood of it or something. And it's the tiniest hole that somehow like five streams come out of. You know what's crazy?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1126.739

No, I didn't know.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1133.26

And then the vagina is just the whole. It's not the whole. It's not the thing. The thing is called the labia. I've been spanked about this.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1143.642

Yeah, I think.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1150.663

I'm fine. Did you guys know all this?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1155.894

Great. Wow.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1182.995

I mean, but also, like, I would say straight men and gay women have, like, an actual view of the vagina that I have not had, where you really, like, can see everything. Right.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1219.924

And yeah, it's... I see that. I picture it like it's like pulled back with little pins like the... Like a butterfly. Or yeah, like a frog that you dissect or something. Oh, no. It's filleted. Yeah, because there's so many folds. I...

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1241.223

I don't know if mine is one time many years ago. I'm sorry. I'm talking way too much.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1252.769

Who's upstairs? I mean, this is a visual. Really? Wait, can I have your pen?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1257.952

but i was at the cellar a million years ago the comedy cellar sorry and i was sitting at a booth across mark maron and i don't remember who suggested this honestly but we both we each drew a picture of a vagina and then we showed it to each other and it was so embarrassing because mine was like our we exposed it and then his was like that like

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1283.637

two parentheses in a line and then mine was like so much it was so much but like I don't know if that's just me I don't think that my vagina is like maybe that's more of a expressionist it looks like a salad My vagina looks like a salad. I don't know. Is that not? You know what? Yeah, I can see that. It's like, yes, the hot dog bun. But then if you open that up, there's a world.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1328.932

That's so funny.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1337.975

So maybe he didn't have his glasses on, you know, when he's... But that said, I've never been face to face with a vagina.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1346.938

All right. No, I mean, I, you know, I remember my stepsister wanted to go on Shark Tank and try to sell a vagina mirror, which would just be like basically a mirror on a selfie stick or something. But you can do that with an iPhone.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1367.025

Yeah.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1373.188

Yeah, well, what is it? Listen, someone put wheels on luggage, like, way too late. No one thought of that. That is true. When wheels went on luggage, I go, I can't believe it took this long to put wheels on luggage. Right. Why was there ever, why were, where was, were there ever?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1434.967

China's like driving in Italy. It's like... What?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1442.79

You can't believe there's only one lane. There's an ocean. There's like a huge cliff with an ocean.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1466.286

I did think of something yesterday that I thought only Conan will. Well, you know, I mean, gosh, I can't really do this in stand up because I don't feel like anybody would remember. But I do think that they should reveal the Epstein files. but it should be the Juan Epstein files. And all of them are signed Epstein's mother.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1524.289

I had a, my sister and I had a Welcome Back Cotter trash can.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1529.491

Yeah. No, they make lunch boxes.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1532.691

No, ours, we had a trash can and it said like, I'm going to call you schools out because you have no class and like all the different things they say.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1549.296

It just seemed like the right place.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1553.944

Right.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1556.949

We know Trump is all over the actual list, so that's probably what he would, maybe he would reveal that and be like, what? I said I was going to, and I did.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1578.19

So the logs are basically just be Juan Epstein and Juan Epstein's mother.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1583.894

Which was disgusting people. Criminals. Are you a conspiracy theorist? I don't know. I mean, the moon landing was fake.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1621.454

Yeah, the guy who does my makeup is really – fell into a whole thing about how the Challenger didn't really explode and all those people are still alive. Right. And I was in ninth grade and we watched it because there was a teacher from Concord, the next town over, Christy McCullough.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1644.352

Yeah, well, or was she? Yeah.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1647.755

They're just living regular lives and with different names.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1681.051

Well, like conspiracy theorists don't call themselves conspiracy theorists, right? It's like cults don't call themselves cults. I have a friend who I know I feel confident grew up in a cult. And he goes, it's not a cult. I go, you wouldn't know. Yeah. You're in it.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1718.483

Laughs are for pussy walls.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1736.26

I don't do stand-up. Did anything come up when you searched pussy walls?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1778.581

Did you try one word with a Z?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1798.674

You know what I mean? Right. It doesn't sound like it. Yeah. Feels good. Yeah.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1856.731

It's got a little ball of like menthol poison that you can squeeze and you hear it go... And then it's a menthol cigarette. And I guess what I was saying is that's like a hymen.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1872.946

Can you Google that? Can we take a nap for the rest of this?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1947.902

You should. No sound.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1951.384

You would think I would be done with vagina humor in my 20s, maybe my 30s, surely by my 40s.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

1962.19

There is. There is. And it's you speaking your truth. I'm so sorry. Why don't we talk about your penis and balls? Let's get into it. I feel like they talk like this. Like what? That was my dad trying to do an Irish accent. Haunted, it's your penis and balls. Penis and balls.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2047.256

You can be anything you want to be. Yeah.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2055.228

Let's not, you know.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2059.051

Well, or.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2061.013

Or. Or. Let's not stigmatize words that mean, you know. Yes. There are genitals.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2079.144

You don't even need to say words anymore. To do Seinfeld. He's held hostage and he had tape over his mouth and he'd still be like, oh God.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2096.075

Seinfeld.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2126.914

Somebody must have done an impression of him like once he has dementia.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2144.062

That has like undertones of Mr. Howell.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2150.864

Yeah, it does. It does. Just to keep it on the 70s.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2211.36

That's the podcast. Yeah.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2216.229

Conan doesn't know anything about vaginas.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2221.812

Be fantastic. What a great show.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2225.054

I've been looking for the picture in my phone of your mouth that I used as my vagina. That's right. I've actually been tasked with finding it.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2240.188

What story behind it? Just kidding. Yes, and? Not an improviser.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2271.168

Oh, yes.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2274.173

Actually, Adam Schlesinger, may he rest in peace, came over my apartment and was like, this book's a musical. I read the chapter titles. He's like, that's a song, you know, whatever.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2292.557

Yeah, I had a show on Comedy Central that was a musical, and my first special had music in it.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

23.222

Yes.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2304.426

No, I didn't write all the songs in the Sarah Silverman program. I wrote some of them and co-wrote some of them. But in my special, Jesus is Magic, which I'm guessing doesn't hold up because I say a lot of things that I wouldn't say today or I'd get in a lot of trouble and have. But, yeah, I wrote this. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, my God.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2331.703

I just wanted to see if I could do ventriloquism.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2336.385

What?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2351.792

Yeah, no, I can't do that.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2395.723

Thank you. Yeah, yeah. And he saw it because I saw his musical, Mr. Saturday Night, which was really great. And the woman who played The incredible Broadway star who played his daughter plays my mother, Beth Ann. That is Shoshana Bean, and she's incredible. And so he came to see it because they, yeah.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2424.424

I don't want to, like if I'm performing, no, I don't want to know. I actually took a chance. Did I tell you this? But I remember, do you know Todd Glass?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2434.809

So funny. So, so funny. But I worry that he can get in his head. So it was years ago and he was about to go on at Largo. And I knew he had like some big wigs coming to see him. And I took a chance. And right before he went on, I said, I feel like I should tell you they didn't show up. But they had. But I felt like if he thought that they didn't show up.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2458.407

He'll just be fucking and be super relaxed. And he was. And then when he got off, I go, I lied. They're here. And he was. so happy. But it could have gone really bad, of course, but I took a chance.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2471.476

Fuck them for not coming.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2477.4

It was impulsive. My heart was pounding, but I felt like it was the right thing to do, and it ended up being good. And now he's a big star.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2487.985

He is the funniest. Second funniest. Third funniest. Fourth funniest. Yeah.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2504.045

Yes.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2508.006

Yeah.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2512.587

It was definitely the fastest hour I've put together because of the events that it's about. My parents... you can't relate to this, but died very closely together. Yeah, yeah.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2527.549

They died nine days apart. And we moved in and like dueled them through death at home. And so it's, it just, and it happened when my last special came out. I've only done, I think this is my fifth special. And my last special before that was my fourth special. Oh! I'm sorry. This is a terrible right turn, but maybe... I don't know what's going on, but my elbow, if I even touch it to a surface...

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2558.163

It hurts? Excruciating pain. It's like nerve ending or something. Does this sound familiar? Yes. Really?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2565.187

What is it?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2571.85

Yeah.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2574.611

My boyfriend goes, you should call the doctor. I go, no, because in three days it will be gone and I'll just have never known what it was. Yeah. Anyway. What was I saying? My parents died. Sorry. Go on.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2595.14

So you win.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

26.723

O'Brien. O'Brien.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2605.023

So as we're taking care of them, my last special came out. And so... When I went back to doing stand-up, I was starting completely over. And of course, all I had to talk about was my bad experience. And it developed faster than usual.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2641.767

Why are you talking about this like it was in 1987? It just happened. It was all during the pandemic.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2647.91

It does.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2660.705

Oh, my God. You were amazing at the Oscars.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2666.407

You were amazing.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2681.83

There's not pictures of me everywhere, but there's a couple pictures.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2687.612

No, I don't.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2689.572

There is a pillow with my face on it back there. That's my friend Mark Cohen crocheted it. And then he gave it to me, and I lived in a tiny apartment, and I was having lunch with Flanagan, and I was like, I love him so much, but I can't have a pillow with my face on it in my living room. It's embarrassing. What is your problem? He goes, bring it over here. Bring it over here.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2737.396

Well, no, my dad knew that my stepmother, my stepmother had died. She had cancer. It was terrible. She loved life. Well, not blah, blah, blah. Not blah, blah, blah at all. But you know what I mean?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2756.058

She was so wonderful. And they were in bed together holding hands. So she was he was he was they were holding hands and she had passed away. And my sister had texted me because I had gone home to sleep for the night. And she said Janice has passed away. And dad is is would normally be awake by now. But I think he passed. In his bones, he knows and he doesn't.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2777.384

But yeah, he, well, he lived another week and people came to visit him and stuff. And so he knew. And he even, he was so funny in his final days. Yeah. Jeff Ross came over. He was very close to my parents.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2796.775

Roastmaster General, not your executive producer for Monday Night. That would be, yeah.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2821.838

Yeah. And he first of all, he came and I shockingly have this on video. So I talk about the thing and then you see it at the end, you know, like in the credits, I put a bunch of like videos and pictures like, you know, when you see a biography or something and then you see that like the real people. I like that. Anyway, Jeff walked in and he said everyone called my dad Schleppi Schleppi.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2842.642

Lepi, I got bad news. I don't think you can be my emergency contact anymore. And then Jeff had introduced my parents to this magician named Bernie Shine, who's closer to their age. And they all became good friends. And about six months earlier, they had all gone to see Bernie do magic, you know. So Jeff is sitting with my dad and he goes.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2863.464

Do you want me to FaceTime Bernie so you could say goodbye? And my dad said, okay. Because my dad wanted to go. He probably could have gotten better, but he was like, no, I'm good. He really just wanted to be with his Janice. So Jeff calls him, and he holds up the camera, and Bernie gets on, and he goes, Donald, I'm so sorry. And my dad goes, Bernie, your show was so bad, it killed Janice.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2899.32

Oh, my God. And then he goes, and I'm not feeling so hot either.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2930.743

You're laying in bed like, I'm funny still, right?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2968.962

What's better than hanging with us? How are we doing on time?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2972.523

That was a real Kevin Nealon...

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

2994.803

I think he's like the most underrated waiter.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

3.737

Hi, my name is Sarah Silverman and I feel... Rejoice slash dead inside. About being... About being Conan O'Brien's friend.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

3014.543

Yeah.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

3016.704

Oh, okay. So that's the line.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

3020.145

Everybody knows. No, he's so fucking... He's so funny. And I love his jokes. You know his joke where he goes... This is what bothers me about the generation of comics who are like, that's so hacky, talking about airplanes, talking about rental cars, difference between New York and Raleigh. That's because comics used to have to be on the road, and they still do.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

3043.773

And that was their lives, and that's what they're talking about. It's not just hackneyed because you heard someone tell you that stuff is hackneyed. Nothing is if it's funny. There's no topic that's... You can't talk about, anyway, this isn't part of his joke, but he has a joke about being on an airplane.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

3059.737

He goes, you know, I was on an airplane, you know, and I don't think that the pilot was very experienced. You know, he got on and he goes, oh, thank you for flying with us. We'll be taking off in roughly five to ten. Whoa, whoa, here we go. And then he comes back on ten minutes later. Oh, where is the, oh, here it is.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

3089.864

and he used to do impressions that I don't think not on in on in his professional life but he would always do impressions of the Beatles talking about does this ring a bell no I'm not gonna do it right you just have to have him do it when he's here but it's like I remember it was like I was fucking John and the asshole and I pulled down and came on his face and that's when we wrote I will

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

3116.463

That's like an easy version, but he's like a real, like an almost aristocrats version of the Beatles talking about how they wrote songs.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

3127.146

I think that's why it's just only for, you know, at home words.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

3169.44

But it's not sad. I mean, it's got sad moments, but it is, you know.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

3174.822

It's a comedy hour.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

3184.907

It's about my parents dying, but I am pointing out that it is, you know, just the funny parts.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

3194.552

Tragedy plus less than a year equals comedy.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

3228.508

He can also fart on command. Anyway, thanks. Bye.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

403.882

When I was thinking about today and all the way... You've been dreaming about today.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

410.163

And masturbating about today.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

415.427

But like with tears, you know, the way you do it.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

422.873

I don't know why this happened, but all I all I've been singing on the way. Are you still laughing about you crying when you masturbate?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

434.883

I've been singing Conan, don't be discouraged. The man, he isn't hard to understand. Is that right? I can't remember the rest.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

448.033

Yeah.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

453.877

Yeah, it was my parody version.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

476.658

Yes.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

480.39

I just remember the guy, the comic that gave him the gun was like the youngest comedian ever to be on The Tonight Show or something.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

488.172

Oh, I like fun facts. I mean, is it the funnest fact? No, maybe not.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

508.158

If it's not fun, then why are we all laughing?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

512.581

Yeah. It's a very good point. I didn't want to wear my glasses. There she is.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

571.894

Yeah. It's in D.C. It closes in a week or it's probably closed by the time this hits people's ears. But hopefully it will go to whatever. Cut this part out. No, keep this part in.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

632.27

I know, there's like no one where you are trying to avoid a conversation, I feel. I feel like everyone is a joy to see.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

640.933

Even this guy.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

643.453

Very exciting that you came.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

679.718

What is this acting thing? Yeah. No, I always wanted to be an actor. Really? Yeah. But I always wanted to be a comic. And then that really is, you know, more like I always think that's like being gay, being a comedian, you know, because you're like born that way. Right. There's nothing you can do about it. Right. And you should just let your freak flag fly. Yes.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

703.089

But I, yeah, I like acting, but I, well, it's not up to me. But I feel that people can, I can get lost in a character and you aren't like, that's Sarah Silverman. Right. But I understand that people tend to worry about that because they go, oh, but everyone knows her. And they like, you know, she's like herself. You were not, though. But I wasn't.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

738.537

Thank you.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

741.579

Well, I auditioned, you know, I always want to audition because I, you know, I want to like get the part because they like what I, you know, whatever I'm doing.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

761.568

Laughs here.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

768.535

Isn't it funny that the sound of like a million people laughing is like a whisper sound effect?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

789.421

How do you do it?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

792.662

Huge crowd laughter. Imagine. Yeah.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

824.068

Wow. Okay. You know how to wear teal. A little teal for you right there. That is a great color on you.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

833.436

Your eyes pop.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

836.841

That's for sure.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

853.603

No, no. People won't get lost in it. You know, like I this great writer director had a series on Apple Plus. I guess I shouldn't say that. Whatever. And he asked me to be in it. Mm hmm. And a great role. And I was like, great, you know. And then and I've had to do this before, too. So I had compassion. But he he had to call me and be like, I'm horrified.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

877.933

The people at Apple Plus don't want you for the part. They feel like the people won't get lost in you or whatever. And I was like. I totally understand that because I had a pilot once and I asked this amazing director to direct it. And he got right back to me and was like, yes, I'm in. And he's like this awesome, cool, far out director. And then it was for NBC years ago.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

898.97

And they were like, oh, no, we don't approve him. What? Oh, my God. I mean, that was awful. Not that good a story, but thank you for your. This is how you react in a podcast. It is. Yeah. I'm killing.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

930.596

What would you play?

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

949.324

So unfair.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

960.541

Go on.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

968.766

Like the labia? I don't know. I don't know where I've heard pussy walls, the phrase. And I'm sorry to interrupt. I am interested in the story you were telling, whatever it was. Let's break this down. Are these interior or exterior walls? I'm in my mind is interior walls. I don't know where I've heard it or why it's so embedded in me.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Sarah Silverman Returns Again

988.195

But like whenever I'm watching The Bachelor or Bachelorette, which is any given Monday. Um, they always say like, you know, and I put up my walls and I always say out loud pussy walls. And then my boyfriend who's like in another room hears it and is like knows exactly what's happening because it's like a it's almost like an OCD thing. But is have you guys heard that? Well, I'm curious.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

1594.065

Hey y'all, it's your old pal Sarah Silverman and I'm back in New York City where now weed is so legal they have stores. Stores with weed. I mean, what is this, 23 other states? Great, but could I find someone to smoke this fancy new legal weed with? Do you guys smoke pot?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

1617.723

You buy it from the store now or do you guys still, are you loyal to your old dealers?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

1630.471

I noticed a couple of you have walkie talkies. Is it for work?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

1634.774

Hey, this is Sarah Silverman. I just want to let you know that Curtis has diarrhea and he might be a little bit late. Okay, well, these guys didn't get stoner comedy, but maybe I'd find some bud buddies at one of the new licensed dispensaries, like the Union Square Travel Agency, where buying drugs feels like, well, a little bit like making an appointment at the Not-So-Genius bar.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

1663.778

I love it. When I first moved to New York City, the way I got weed was I'd call my dealer or get into his Toyota Yaris and have to sit in a smelly car while I listened to his band's demo. And here, I mean, are you in a band?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

1679.448

It's refreshing. Instead of dealers without professional boundaries, these new dispensaries have weed baristas, aka bud tenders. I want the giggles and the creativity of a sativa with the feeling like I'm being held by a 16-foot man, cradled like a baby. We have something for that.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

1704.323

Do you have anything that I can put up anally, like as a backstory of some kind? Not with weed in it, just anything. Not here. Are you high right now?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

1718.606

I'd like to speak to a manager, please. Non-high weed dealers? What a strange new world. At least the customers were just like in the old days. What are you guys gonna do when you're high?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

1731.659

We laugh, and do we get intimate?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

1736.481

What's brownies? Is that some kind of sex euphemism?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

1740.502

Oh, it's just an actual brownie.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

1743.904

Oh, that sounds good. That's right up my alley. Can I get high with you?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

1747.625

When it's time to get intimate, you know. One of you guys will have to leave.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

1753.939

We'll pick straws. And people aren't just using weed to enhance their eating and love making.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

1767.561

It's like I feel like you smoke pot and you realize that nothing you're worried about matters. Yeah. I mean basically we're already dead. These users were so stoked on their legal weed, it seems like anyone could sell it to them. Notes of hickory. Like anyone at all. What ills are you trying to solve with drugs?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

1792.878

Yeah, just ultimate high. We can do that with this. That's going to be $738. For an ace? It is expensive, but it is cheaper than therapy. All in all, it's crazy to think that something you can buy now for a lot of money in a fancy store used to get people sent to prison. And many are still there. There are people here that were put in prison for weed crimes.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

1821.439

It would be great if there was a radical exchange of wealth with people who have served time for something that politicians are making millions from now. Absolutely. I don't know what I'm saying. I'm stoned. I still hadn't found anyone to smoke with besides the horny brownie lovers, but as usual, New York City didn't let me down. This is crazy.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

1844.022

We're actually doing a story about people smoking weed in New York.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

1852.226

What kind of weed is this?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

1859.089

You get it illegally from a deli.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

1868.446

Yeah, if he has a picture of it, it's definitely true. Which led me to address the most serious question that this issue had raised. I've got a dog at home. Like, do you think she loves me, or do you think it's just like I'm the person that feeds her, so she just plays ball?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | 4/20

1897.034

I guess it doesn't really matter whether you get your weed from a fancy dispensary or as part of some tragically misguided drug war, as long as you smoke it with a friend. My dog is love. I could cry. That's so beautiful. Love. My dog is love. Love made a mess on the carpet.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day

1046.64

Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate love.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day

1476.963

And finally, today is Valentine's Day, the day when flowers find out which house they're going to die in. Seriously, why do we give people roses? They are already dying the second you cut them. You're basically giving someone a hospice patient. Love them while you can. Just try to keep them hydrated and make sure they're as comfortable as possible.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day

1504.127

But there is a Valentine's surprise that's even worse than Rose's, stealing people's money.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day

1556.341

That's right. You got to be careful out there. If anyone literally ever says anything nice to you, call the police. And she said another red flag is if the person has an amazing lifestyle, a perfect job, gorgeous photos. Oh, my God. Am I a scammer? Well, for more on these romance scams, we turn to Michael Kosta. Michael, it's... It is so sad to hear about this, especially on Valentine's Day.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day

1618.258

You're very smart, Michael. But let's focus on the romantic scams because I'm especially worried about how they target the elderly.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day

1640.407

You're catfishing your own grandmother?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day

1666.172

I'm sure the dogs are grateful, but how does catfishing your grandmother even work? Take me through this.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day

1695.192

Rose, you send your grandma nudes?

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day

1751.356

I guess in its own way, this is actually like a loving thing, Michael. I hope all the men out there love their grandmas enough to seduce them.

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

TDS Time Machine | Valentine's Day

1779.237

Thank you so much, Michael.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1063.276

No, I don't hear anything.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1067.916

Why is that happening? Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1076.169

Ja. Ja. Ja. Ja.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1097.302

Ja. And it's incredible.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1117.046

Yeah.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1118.747

Yeah.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1121.008

You really can't see them.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1128.751

Yeah, we're just aging. I mean, there's not a reason for it. I wasn't a drummer in a rock band or anything.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1138.015

I mean, there's not a good reason. Oh, I'm always near amps. No. No, my body is dying. My body is slowly stopping. Come on! And you know, I finally did it because... Ja. Ja. Ja, ja. Es ist etwas, was im Gehirn passiert, weil, und ich verabschiede mich total daran, wenn man es nicht gut hört, verhindert man nur laute, störende Orte, wo man nichts hören kann.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1203.074

Ich bin meine Nanna, wo ich sage, was? Und sie öffnen es und ich sage, was? Und sie sagen es wieder und ich höre es noch nicht, also gehe ich nur, oh, haha.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1218.323

Yes.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1221.085

Yeah, because you just stop socializing.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1252.705

Well, that's the thing is when you can't hear and you keep saying what eventually your loved one goes, I said, do you want salad?

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1261.997

You don't have to have that tone with me. I'm just a human being.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1282.339

You did?

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1284.121

Wow.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1330.202

Ja, ich meine, total.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1359.384

Yeah, you need the audience there.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1369.411

No. I don't know why I didn't, but I didn't.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1373.814

I really had closure. And I think I cried so much while it was happening, because it was just so much. Yeah. It was just... That, like, once they were gone, it was... I ache for them, I miss them so much, but it was a massive relief in many ways as well. Especially my stepmother, who just watching her suffer was awful, and she loved life so much.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1402.253

My dad was just like, he died of kidney failure, but it was pretty much of a broken heart. He could have probably fought it, gotten better, but he did not want to.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1421.329

When I'm listening to the WhatsApp.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1430.217

That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah. I'm listening. We would have them record on their iPhones, doctors appointments as they got older so that we could listen back. We had a family WhatsApp chain and then we could listen back and make sure everything was taken care of. And when, yeah.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1450.093

I'm listening to them in their doctor's appointment. And the doctor, the worst thing you could hear, you know, Janice, I'm so sorry, you have stage four pancreatic cancer. And you just hear him go, I'm alone!

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1465.11

Fucking psychopath. And it's widower, of course.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1500.516

Ja, es ist, ich meine, es ist, und natürlich schreien, ich bin allein, ist einfach wilder Narzissismus. Ich weiß. Es ist einfach unglaublich. Und er war ein totaler Narzissist, aber es war meistens adorabel. Aber das war sehr beobachtend und verrückt, einfach verrückt.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1529.599

Yeah, he was losing his caretaker.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1545.909

Well, the plan with all of us was always that he would go first, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I feel guilty because I remember yelling at him once. He was being a fucking asshole to her. And... My dad was a delight, but he, you know, he could be an asshole to her. And I was just like, you know, anything you say to her, just know we will hear about it.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1571.029

You know, and I said, you act like, you know, all she's doing is trying to help you stay well. And you know what's going to happen? She's going to die first because you're killing her. You know, and then I felt bad because she did.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1604.414

As they were dying, my last special came out. And I never do specials. I've done, this is my fifth special of my life. It was called Someone You Love. Oh, what was that about? It was just a stand-up special about lots of things. You know, this is the only time I have like a topic. And so my special came out as they were dying. So I was at zero.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1629.94

You know, I was at zero. So when I went back to doing stand-up after they died, I was, I had nothing. And so I just started, that's all I talked about. You know, I go, I have fucking nothing. You know, when you're at Largo and you're starting over and you're just like, I don't, I have nothing. And I just used my, what I said at his, my dad's eulogy, because there were so many funny stories in it.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1689.449

Oh yeah, where I'm not like lying or making up a joke or saying something terrible.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1699.047

Yeah, I guess you're right. I'm kind of... Honest and sincere in it. But I get worried to say that because, you know, I guess I'm here to sell my special. And I always worry that people are going to be like, no, my audience.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1779.686

Yeah, it felt different. But I mean also I'm not like... I'm different. I know. You know, I mean, so like, yeah, my first couple specials were like way more kind of hardcore. Jokes. Character-ish, you know, like horrible person saying something sweet, you know. Right, you had a good sense of. The other way around, sweet person saying something horrible.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1811.31

Whatever. That was your bit. Yeah, it was like my thing. And then I just, you know, as you grow and you change and you learn shit and you can't unring bells...

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1862.085

We have so many facets of ourselves, all people I'm talking about. And I was just thinking, it's like, who am I going to be? Am I going to be bully, jackass, you know, Sarah, like makes fun of her friends? Or am I going to be like sincere?

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1878.836

You know, therapy, Sarah. But like, you know, we're all different people depending on who we're sitting with.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

1908.957

I don't know that it's like sitting and consciously thinking about it. I never really... Ja. Ja. Ja. Ja. Ja, ja, ja. Und, weißt du, es werden immer Leute sein, die wegfallen, und neue Leute, oder manche Leute wachsen mit dir, aber es gibt immer Leute, die sagen, erinnere dich, als sie lustig war? Und ich sage, ja, ich mache das.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2000.236

And I loved doing it and I had the Sarah Silverman program where I was like really got to play it out and be a huge asshole.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2007.881

And I loved it. And of course I changed and whatever. I grew up and everything and my comedy kind of stayed the same in some ways, changed in some ways, whatever. I mean, I think if you become beholden to some character you got like famous with, you become such a caricature of yourself. It's like you'll sell tickets, but it's sad in my view. Yeah.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2048.676

And I always think of, I love Joan Rivers who like, if you really look, she reinvented herself so many times.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2060.189

In bed with Joan.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2062.331

But I love that she said, like, she didn't really feel like she came into her, like, she found herself stand-up-wise until she was in her 70s. I think that's so cool. Like, I want to be able to look forward to... We're comics. There's every age, every, you know.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2112.094

But everything is about the same shit. Everything there is. That's why you can look at a painting of a red square and see something different and get something new out of it, depending on what's been happening in your life and the world around you.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2134.912

You know Larry Charles?

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2136.493

Wir haben zwei Piloten zusammen geschrieben, vor Jahren. Es war so lustig und ich liebte es, mit ihm zu sein. Und ich erinnere mich, wie er sagte, was ist ein verdammtes roter Quadrat? Wenn du einen roten Quadrat bautest, könnte ich einen roten Quadrat bauten. Und er sagte, ja, aber du hast ihn nicht gemacht.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2163.428

Ich meine, das ist so dumm, aber ich, weißt du, als ich klein war, habe ich Mr. Rogers gesehen und dann, als ich in der Hochschule war, war es vor der Schule und ich hätte es an und ich habe es einfach in einem ganz neuen, wie mein Gehirn schlägt.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2179.93

fucking brilliant. You know, in Sesame Street. It's kind of like how if you experience grief as a child, you re-experience it at every stage of development. Well, that's kind of like the same with art or anything, I guess.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2208.806

We also have more space to... This is going to sound really like eye-rolly.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2222.83

To raise ourselves, to continue to raise ourselves.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2245.857

What mood are they in when they come home? And that's that's my future. That's like what my night will be.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2288.68

It's a great day. But also it's like, you know, my mom, my mom, she was interested in show business and she read People magazine and she knew all these fun facts and who was dating who. It's not a surprise that I Ja. Ja. Ja. Why would I care? Or something. Why do you think I'm in show business? I'm in show business so my mom will call me and say I saw you on TV.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2332.726

And my stepmom, my dad told me my stepmom would call her and beg her to call me.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2341.391

She was kind of like... No, my dad and my stepmother, anytime I was on TV or something, they always called me. Oh, we watched you. You were wonderful. My mom just couldn't You know, she loved Rachel Maddow. Like, oh, her Rachel. So I like, I was on Rachel Maddow doing something. And I like, I had a terrible appearance because I mentioned her name. Oh, my mother loves you.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2365.407

And she was like, oh, hi, Mrs. Silverman. Oh, it's actually O'Hara. You know, and I'm like, dude, going so far on this journey. Very quick appearance.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2374.651

For my mother when I needed to talk about other things. And I was so excited because she would see it. I know she watches it every night. I didn't hear from her.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2384.958

I called her like the next day or the next day. I go, I gave you a shout out on your favorite. Did you see? Oh, yeah, I saw.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2393.605

You're never going to get what you need.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2399.495

You know, my dad was in the first half of my life and my mom kind of was, you know, everything. I could paint a heartbreaking story, I could paint a perfect picturesque story, just like anybody else.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2432.733

You mean instead of a C? Yeah.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2442.776

Oh, they should get an award.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2536.732

Meine Schwestern haben es letztendlich alle mit meinem Vater verändert. Ich war diejenige, die bei meinen Moms war. Wenn der Telefon klingelte, würde ich die TV ausmachen. Gott sei Dank hat er die TV im Hintergrund gehört. Er hatte einen ganzen Hang-up, dass meine Mutter schlau war. Sie war klinisch depressiv, klar. Und ich werde jetzt schlau sein. Und es ist ein echter Hang-up für mich jetzt.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2564.934

Yeah, which is like I love to do a whole lot of nothing any second I can. But then I'll have like immense guilt around it. And then I'll project that onto my partner, Rory. And he's like, I don't think you're lazy. I think you're the least lazy person I've ever met. Get that out of your head. That's you. That's your thing, you know. But I still have that thing where it's like...

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2588.861

My dad's gonna see I'm watching TV. I still think I'm fat. Oh my gosh.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2624.059

Nun, sie, sie, sie, du konntest nicht sagen, dass sie jüdisch war.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2632.745

Um, you know, like overalls, not into not baubles like, you know, the Jews that they're like, we're New England Jews. Like, I don't know what that is.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2648.851

Yeah.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2654.411

Yeah, well, he looks like... Yeah, and also he's got an attitude.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2665.939

Yeah, right. Well, the thing is, like, well, both my parents were atheists and, you know, we were just Jewish culture. We were Jewish by... Yeah, by being Jewish.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2679.686

Right. So it's like, my sister, the rabbi, you know, she always said, we thought being Jewish meant being a Democrat, because that's how we were different in New Hampshire.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2698.59

I love hearing you say Susie.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2700.811

Because she's Susie to me and she was Susie to you, but now she's like Rabbi Susan. So she always says when someone calls her Susie, she knows that they know her from my podcast or from me.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2728.493

Yeah, I became very, I mean, I have no religion.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2741.864

But I grew up with no Jews, so I didn't, my experience of people knowing I was Jewish, I'd be like, oh, yeah, I'm Jewish, but like totally not.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2751.092

You know, I was like immediately apologizing.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2771.196

Self-loathing, I would say.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2782.264

The Worcester Jew. Yeah. And that's what your dad was? John Benjamin. He was from Brockton. Boston and Brockton.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2817.747

Yeah, I text with him more often.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2824.701

Well, different things that we ask each other.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2843.337

It's Susie, then Laura, then Jodine, then me. Jodine is Janice's daughter, so we met when we were both seven.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2877.778

Yeah. But also she's, she's a Rabbi to everyone else.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2885.204

And us too, but also she's like dark as shit. A dark silver man. Like, I mean, Dad died like the night, like at 2 a.m. on the 11th. Her birthday, her 60th birthday was May 10th.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2903.752

Yeah. And he's literally, she, she videoed, this is, I don't know if this is okay to say, I hope it is.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2909.516

She videotaped just for us, like herself, just sitting next to dad's bed where you can like literally just hear the death rattle, like this is the end. And she was just like. Happy Birthday to me. It's very our family to just be so fucked up.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2963.841

Yeah, it's interesting.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2966.223

Yeah, I made a mixtape for my dad of... Von all den Hits aus dem Sommer, als er 17 war. Und ich habe sie gespielt. Er wusste jedes Wort zu jedem Song. Aber er war nicht in seiner Meinung, war er? Nein, er war nicht überhaupt. Aber es ist interessant, wie du 17, vielleicht 12 erinnerst. Du wirst jeden Wort zu jedem Hitsong erinnern. Ist das wild?

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

2986.16

Ja, ich habe versucht, das mit meinem alten Mann zu bringen.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3015.883

I had, it's so funny because I had digitized a bunch of stuff and I was like, fuck, I only have these like two going out of business sale commercials on my phone where he's like crying, fake crying and saying, which I have on my phone. But when I was working with the editor, he taught me how to search my computer, the hard drive or whatever, and I found a bunch more.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3044.452

Ja, ja. Digitisiert aus einem Kassett oder so.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3059.961

Yeah, I mean, it was so raw. I remember coming straight to Largo from cleaning out their apartment, you know, and just like being so tired. Oh, they were here, huh? Yeah, they had an apartment. We got them an apartment in L.A. So that's where we all were, which was great. We were all here. Right. Not Susie, though.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3082.456

No, of course. She was there for a long time. And three of her kids. Oh, really? Three of her five kids.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3100.472

Did you? So close. My grandparents? My dad's mother I was close with. Yeah.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3108.046

Ich liebe die alten jüdischen Namen. They were definitely trauma bonding, you know, unconsciously when my parents, when they met. Because they're both the older of two siblings. My dad had a younger brother and mom had a younger sister. And they both were the only one of their siblings that was deeply abused by parents. My dad's dad beat the shit out of him every day.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3155.066

And my mom's mom abused her horribly.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3166.971

I mean, I didn't know about... I knew she was... Aber ich wusste nicht wirklich, wie groß der Verbrechen ist, bis ich ein bisschen älter war. Und Laura hat mir gesagt, und ich erinnere mich, dass ich so wütend war, weil ich das jetzt nicht mehr kennen konnte. Aber natürlich bin ich froh, dass ich das tue. Und es hat mich so viel mehr verstanden, wie meine Mutter. Ich weiß.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3196.554

But how my mom didn't seem at all Jewish is like, she comes from that generation where it's like her mother was an immigrant from Poland. Oh my God. I did that Finding Your Roots show.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3212.361

Nothing interesting. Really? I mean, he was wonderful. He said it was the farthest he was able to go back of a Jew.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3222.446

Did he really?

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3225.387

Er hat gesagt, all the way back from Catherine the Great, Russia, Belarus.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3234.837

We're probably related.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3242.746

How are you confusing those two things?

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3256.537

But it was ultimately very boring because it was... It was a million names, not many pictures or anything. It was just like they signed censors, you know, and everything. But it was just, all their jobs, it was just peddler, peddler, peddler, dressmaker, cobbler, peddler, peddler.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3276.792

Yeah.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3278.534

You know those rich Jews, right?

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3302.388

Oh, that's why they were, you know, they were, that's like, what's his name? David Baddiel.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3309.492

You know, he says like, yeah, my family were rich in Germany and they went right into their real big house and murdered them. Like, oh fuck, you know, but yeah, we were poor Jews.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3371.767

Oh, I was on the Finding Your Roots related to Maggie Gyllenhaal.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3470.594

Yeah, that will never happen.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3474.535

Well, yeah, that's why I like Laura has Asian features because of the, you know, Mongolian.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3498.213

And a tiny percentage Siberia, which was, what does that mean? Like just a prisoner, a Russian prisoner?

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3535.649

Yeah.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3538.57

Yes, and he's always had older friends.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3543.553

Yeah, well, you know, he was kind of orphaned. I remember that. His mom when he was 14, his dad when he was 19. Yeah. And he lived with his grandpa when we knew him.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3561.303

Of course.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3597.962

Yeah, he's got his one-man show. Take a banana for the ride.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3604.403

That's amazing.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3620.13

Machst du Filme? Irgendwas? Oh, vielleicht. Ja, ich werde ein independentes Thema machen. Ja?

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3628.134

I don't get a lot coming my way. Or it's something where it's like, if you attach, we're going to try to get money and funding. If I'm your hope, you're just doomed.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3646.181

Yeah, I did. He's one of those guys that is so prepared and so... Cooper. Bradley Cooper, that... What would probably be days and days and days. We were done early every time. Three days to do an 11-page intricate party scene, we got done on the first day.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3667.888

Awesome, yeah. He's so prepared. He knows exactly what he wants to do.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3682.673

People have all sorts of opinions on it, but yeah, he did it. He made the movie he wanted to make and it's gorgeous. I really liked it. Again, I didn't totally... Get it until I saw it at home with subtitles because I realized I can't hear.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3701.903

I can't hear well. That's what's not to get. I'm hearing every fourth word pretty much.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3710.946

No, I just can't fucking hear. As a matter of fact, he was... Ja, ja, ja. He would do it.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3736.304

Rory. Rory what? Rory Albanese. Rory. I can say it better if I say it fast.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3742.23

Rory Albanese, which is Italian for Albanian. Oh, really?

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3753.742

He does. Well, his mother's Jewish.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3767.343

Yeah, that was a different direction. Although I will say his accent sounds hoity-toity because it's British, but it kind of is, it's a very small leap to Boston.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3796.418

Attell looks exactly like my father when he was young.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3806.385

Five years. I can't believe it.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3810.181

We were COVID lovers.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3817.849

Yeah, that sounds fair.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3820.612

I love... It's just you saying, rattling off, like, the bed I've dated. It's like, makes me... It's such a warm feeling. Like, yeah, we really know each other. We've known each other for so long. I know. Maybe we talk every few years, we see each other a lot or whatever, but it's like we really do know each other.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3842.52

Yeah, you slept with one of my roommates.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3845.202

Did you also sleep with Beth Tapper?

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3852.328

She loved Star Wars.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3859.394

Ja, sie, oh, Jessica Winole, I always laugh because I still am in touch with her and she's sober and she's doing great. She's a drama teacher in New Jersey.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3872.11

Oh, great. Yeah.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3875.094

Sie war eine Schauspielerin und sie schrieb Spiele und sie war in der Experimental-Theater-Weg. Und wir haben immer dieses, ich weiß nicht, ob das zu visuell ist, aber Jessica und ich erinnern uns, du weißt, in der Schule, ich hatte schon geflogen, aber sie war noch in der Schule und ich liebte sie. Und wir gingen zu einer ihrer Experimental-Spiele sehen, in der sie war.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3895.229

Und, weil sie in der Experimental-Theater-Weg war, weißt du. Und es war eine dieser Spiele, wie... Ja, ja, ja. You must be so proud. The greatest was that we always laugh because when they came out to bow at the end, she didn't like have a robe on. She just came out naked, you know, and I'm like, everyone's clapping and then like the pointing out the band, you know.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3937.226

She was so comfortable in her body.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

3959.053

Well, just like having like. Ja. Ja. Ja. Ja. Das ist verrückt. pick it and then come over to swim in the pool. I just love it because it's inspiring. I think it's important. I don't know everybody. I'm a shut-in mostly, but through stand-up, I'm close with Beth Stelling and all of her friends and all the comics she knows. Robbie ended up in the pool.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4015.273

It was funny because Rory said something funny like... You know, I finally have like topless women in the pool, but they all have top surgery. Robbie said something so funny, and it so defines her, because she's almost like dice, or if she wasn't in a, or they.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4042.286

They don't care, and they get mad that I get mad at myself, but they're there. But they were like... Sie kommt aus den Kronenheiden, sie ist sehr orthodox.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4080.993

Yeah, she sounds like Jackie Mason. Right. But it's earnest. Yeah, it's completely earnest. It's not a bit. So she's in the pool and she's like, you know, my brother. But by the call, he's like, trans people fucking gross, you know, and I'm, what am I supposed to do, not pick up the phone when he calls me every Tuesday?

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4096.883

You know, and it's like, there's, to me, like, she's, there's an importantness about her that she will... hopefully never take on herself. You know, it's like, almost like how Billie Jean King was like a huge feminist icon, but to her, she was just a tennis player.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4115.269

And to Robbie, they're just a comic, but I think their existence does a lot of work where of kind of bringing people together and not making such a big deal about that gender and whatever. Not that, not, I don't mean they shouldn't make a big deal about it. I mean, in the face of hatred, she still sees her brother and connection and love. Oh, and the good, yeah.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4144.631

And just, you know, rolls her eyes and still.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4149.287

Yeah, I'm not articulating it well. No, no, I know what you mean.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4169.478

They, she, get away with so much and it's wonderful. It's refreshing. She's got a free zone. Oh my God, they posted... She doesn't give a fuck. We're struggling, but we're trying to do what is most respectful.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4194.955

But they posted just them doing stand-up like in Brooklyn somewhere. And it was the funniest bit. I'm sure it's in a special or something. But they go... The Property Brothers? What is this? Twins are for kids. He wears blue, she wears red? Like, they're gay. It's kind of nonsensical.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4216.805

It's kind of semi-hate speech, but it's like, because it's coming from her, it's like, it's just so... And I think also, it's the delivery, it's like historical.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4244.842

Selbst wenn du sie anschaust, der Ort, wo sie ihre Zunge hält. Ja. Yeah, it's like there's a cultural... Yeah, it's crazy.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4261.311

Yeah.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4335.816

Es war Leid. Es war ein sehr jüdischer Gest.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4350.225

Can I tell you?

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4351.905

I've never had a mezuzah. And for my birthday this year, Jeff Ross got me a mezuzah.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4364.888

You did? Yeah. Is it a nice one or a weird modern thing? It's pretty. No, it's nice. I don't know. But there's a story in our family. But I... I feel it might be like an old joke or something, because my dad would often say something was real and it was like something you heard. But as the story goes, when my parents got married, they moved into an apartment.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4386.088

They were given a mezuzah, you know, neither of them are religious. And they're just like, how are we supposed to hang this? What do we do? And my mother opened it up and she goes, oh, there's instructions inside. And then she opened it, unscrolled it and said, oh, they're in Hebrew.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4422.588

It's funny that Jews don't have hell and yet we seem to fear hell in every move we make.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4437.524

No, I don't think Jews have hell.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4482.807

Wow.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4503.892

Mein Mothers Name war Beth-Anne. Meine Großmutter wollte niemanden, der jüdisch klingt. Sie hat ihren letzten Namen von Cohen zu Halpin gewechselt. Ich wusste das nicht, bis ich Finding Your Roots fand. Aber weißt du, die Schauspielerin Tova Feldschuh? Ich habe mit ihr gearbeitet und sie war wahrscheinlich in meiner Mothers Zeit. Sie sagte, dass ihr echter Name Terry Sue ist.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4533.595

And that it was a boyfriend in college that she was madly in love with, who was like, you should be proud that you're Jewish. You should have a Jewish name like Tova. And she was like, okay.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4544.102

Isn't that funny? But that generation, they don't have Jewish names because their parents don't, they work so hard to assimilate.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4556.111

Sarah Silverman. No, yeah. Yeah, Silverman.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4565.156

Wow.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4565.976

My grandmother was Similovich.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4583.099

Meine Großmutter war auch goldig und nichts, nicht kürzer für irgendwas.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4594.582

Es ist wie Sarah. Sarah. Wie Sarah ohne ein H vielleicht?

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4604.653

I always know Howard Sterns is Zvi.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4609.074

Zvi.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4610.635

I'll call him Zvi.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4613.816

How do you prepare for that? I just have to wake up so early. I'm going to sleep as soon as I get home from here.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4621.998

Thank you, my friend.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4709.175

I work really slow. I'm not prolific. And I have... Actually, when I have a timetable or a deadline, I make it. So I should probably do that. I've been a lot more disciplined and writing the book actually helped me with that a little bit.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4729.974

Yeah, it becomes your job.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4733.597

And I did realize, gee, if I spent three hours a day working on my act, I would have a lot more material a lot faster, but I'm a lazy fuck like all of us are, but I am starting to be a little more disciplined.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4752.568

Nein, aber ich fange an. Weißt du, was ich gemacht habe? Wann immer ich eine Show bei Largo oder UCB oder so habe, gehe ich, okay, ich nehme heute und gehe in ein Hotel-Lobby und sitze mit einem Legal Pad oder meinem Laptop. Und weil ich mit Leuten umgekehrt bin, muss ich aussehen, als ob ich arbeiten würde. Und das fordert mich, etwas zu machen.

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

Episode 1644 - Sarah Silverman

4773.682

Und an dieser Nacht bin ich immer froh, dass ich das gemacht habe.