Sammy Blumenthal
Appearances
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
Hey, guys. Hey. This year, I became a mom. Yeah, thank you. Thank you so much. I've been trying to breastfeed, and he's having a really hard time latching. I just wish someone told me that would happen before I got the dog. I have a German Shepherd, which is really empowering as a Jewish woman. I named him after my late great-grandfather, 017694. Thank you. Thank you. I love my dog.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
He just is really particular, like, especially when we go outside. He takes so long. I'm like, come on, is this your spot? Is this your spot? Poop for me. Is this your spot? Is this your spot? Now I know how my ex felt every time he tried to make me cum, you know? It might take a long time. But now I get it, though. I get it. I understand his perspective.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
So now when I try to get him to go quicker, I just go, shh. take your toy, close your eyes, and pretend I'm literally anyone else. And he poops immediately. There it is.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
Last December, and then it aired, it was like six weeks, and then it aired in January. Six weeks. Yeah, five or something. There was like two recordings on a Monday and two recordings on a Tuesday, so it just took a while for it to come out.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
I am a dietician, but I took a year off. I was teaching preschool for a year, and I just had my last day on Friday. What made you do that?
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
Yeah, no, it is hard, because I definitely focus on, rather than weight loss, which is a common thing that people ask me about, I focus on our relationship with food and building and healing our relationship with food and body. Let me introduce you to my friend Red Band here.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
So that's the thing, I don't focus on weight. That's what I'm trying to say.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
Okay. That's why I took a year off. I couldn't help people lose weight. I don't know. But my greatest accomplishment, I think, is like, my favorite thing is like when a woman goes to the store and feels confident just like picking out a size. And it's not that like, it's like our body is not meant to fit clothes. Like our clothes are meant to fit our body.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
Thank you. His name is Topher. This is him. I got a tattoo of him.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
I wanted to get it before he died so I could show him, you know? Like, I just felt like it would be sad to get it afterwards. Like, he sees it all the time. I don't think he knows what he's looking at, but... Okay.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
I love my dogs. I love him. People think that I love him too much.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
You know, I take him everywhere. He comes with me everywhere. Comes what?
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
Red man on fire tonight. Does he ever get a little red rocket? Oh my god, no. No, it's not little. It is the biggest dick I've ever seen.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
No, if this mic was purple. Oh, it's dark. You got a black dog?
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
I mean, he loves when I use a shower in the oven. You know what I mean?
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
It happens when I come home. He gets really excited when I come home.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
He can get to the bottom of things. Yeah. What are my relationships like?
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
No, it's not long. I'll summarize it. Okay. I think I'm a little gayer than I realize.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
Yeah, so I remember being in like fifth grade and I was looking at the clock in whatever class I was in and I just asked myself like, do I like girls? I don't know. It was like the first thought in my head.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
I don't know. That's just what I remember I was looking at when I was asking myself that. I feel really vulnerable and my body feels uncomfortable right now as I'm talking about this, but that's okay. But then every relationship I've been in with a man, in the back of my head, it's like... I don't know what a relationship with a woman is like. I do not know.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
What does that look like, though? I still don't know what that looks like.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
Yeah, I knew her since I was 12 years old. Perfect. Yeah.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
You don't have to apologize. It's okay. No, we were just, like, hanging out and talking, and, like, it was like, oh, this feels, like, this feels safe. Like, feeling safe during sex is an important thing. So if you learn anything here today, make sure you feel safe. During sex.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
Keep going. So we were kissing and it felt nice. And then I was like, oh, can I go down on you? You went straight to that?
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
So this is real, like, this is really what happened, okay?
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
So at the time, at the time, this is... Okay, so... I was in a relationship with a guy during the time and we said, no, stop. And he said, we decided to be like in an open relationship, okay? And so I felt uncomfortable doing it because I didn't tell him where I'd be before. But I was on the show last time and I told you a story that I got home and I saw videos of my ex sucking dick.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
while wearing my clothes. That's right. I remember that. Oh, you tried to out-gay him? I was just trying to out-gay him. But that's like context to the story.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
And girl things. And then, no, but I think I threw up because I felt. Take a, hold on.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
I need feedback. If you are silent while we are being intimate, I will leave. I need to know what is going. I need communication.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
I don't, I just, yes, we're talking. Like, we're having a conversation.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
Sometimes, but then I need you to elaborate. What? I need you to elaborate. Like, because the thing is, is when I've been in, like, a sexual experience and I'm making sounds, sometimes it's, like, performative. You know what I mean? It's like, and I'm also a woman, and I've been, I mean, yeah, I've been, yes, I'm a woman.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
Yes, because I know what it's like to be a woman, and when a man's down there, it's just like, mm-mm, and I'm hating it, and I'm not speaking up for myself. You know what I mean? Clap for that.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
Okay, so I'm down there and I think I just started thinking about my relationship situation and how uncomfortable that I was in that situation and how I feel uncomfortable in this situation. So what ended up happening is that I just threw up.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
She was asking, like, she was checking in on how I was feeling.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
But I did feel bad because that was her first experience. And, like, I don't know.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
She's beautiful. Like, she's lovely. Just hold her profile picture. Hold on.