Salman Rushdie
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I actually thought he'd punched me. Very hard. I didn't realize there was a knife in his hand. And then I saw the blood and I realized there was a weapon. And then he just started, I think he was just slashing wildly at everything. So there was a very big slash here across my neck as well as the stab wound here.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
I'm okay, you know. I mean, surprisingly.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
But sometimes there are good surprises. This was one. I'm pretty much recovered.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
Yeah, it's weird how I think. I mean, I have this kind of free associating mind, which goes from the moon to a movie to a book to a piece of mythology to a joke.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
Yeah, I mean, there's a subject. Right. I mean, it's... What I felt is that it's... It starts off, there's a love story, which turns into a murder story, which turns back into a love story.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
There's that, too. I say with a certain amount of gritted teeth. Yes.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
Not really. Actually, one of the nice things about this is there isn't. We're enormously supportive of each other's work.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
Yeah, it was a last minute decision. We were actually on the plane flying up to, because I had this desire to go and revisit the scene of the crime and show myself that I was standing up where I fell down. Sort of important for me. But then on the flight up there, I thought, Chautauqua is a really small town, and if he's in the county jail, how far is that from the institution?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
And it turned out it was like a five-minute drive. So I thought, well, let's go to the jail.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
You get there, it's a really boring jail. It's a little cell block and a wall with some barbed wire. But I thought, you know, he's in there, I'm out here. That feels good. You win. And what happened is a weird thing happened. My feet started dancing. You were dancing? No, my feet were dancing. What does that look like? It's just shimmying, but the body stayed.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
Yeah. Well, I thought, you know, you've got to give the enemy an even break. If you're going to have a serious conversation, then it can't just be me yelling at him, telling him what a bad person he is, which I think.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
He's 24. He wasn't even born when this thing happened. And he, by his own account, had read nothing I'd written. And yet he was willing to commit murder. I mean, that's stupid. Yes.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
No, I think in some ways it's a very American attack.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
He spent four years in a basement playing video games and watching videos. And it kind of messed with his head. And also, you know, I mean, he's born and bred in New Jersey. Slow down. I think I know where this is going. Well, then, you know, you're ahead of me. But, you know, we live in an America where people kill each other every five minutes.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
You know, and I think maybe in his New Jersey brain. Yes.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
I think maybe they have. I mean, I'm too old to know, really, because I don't... Algorithms don't know what to do with me. Right. Give them a chance. No, I do. But they don't know what to do. So I'm not algorithmically influenced. Right. But people are. People are all the time. And, yeah, I mean, I think he was...
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
something happened in him which made it possible for him to decide to murder a total stranger. Right. And that has to be brainwashing of some kind. Right. Whatever you want to call it, but I call it brainwashing.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
And you know what's so strange about it is, first of all, he must have known that he was messing up his own life as well. Right. You know, not just mine. At 24. At 24. And you know, the last thing he did before he got on the bus from Fairview, New Jersey to Chautauqua, the last thing he did, he canceled his gym membership. Because he knew the prison had waits?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
Was he suicidal, or was he... I don't know. I mean, maybe we'll find out. If this trial happens, we might find out more about him. Do you dread something like that? Is that something that still visits you? No. I mean, I think, you know, if they need me to testify, I'll go testify. And I'll be in the courtroom with him, but my view is he should be scared about being in the courtroom with me.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
Yeah, in the middle of all this repair work. Suddenly, apparently, I might have prostate cancer. I thought, that's not fair. No.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
Well, you can tell. Yeah, I mean, I went to the doctor, and examining your prostate is not fun. Again, speak for yourself.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
Anyway, the first examination, they thought they found a bump on the prostate. And then I had to have an MRI scan. And the MRI scan, you know, it grades from one to five, and five is really bad. And I came out as four, and it said cancer probable. And then it turned out that it was not probable, that it had this bump that had been caused by some other infection.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
And a medicine that they had actually given you. Yeah, exactly. And then a second doctor, the first doctor's boss, also examined my prostate more thoroughly. Were they lined up down the hallway? What are we doing here? No, this was very thorough. And also, he was an Indian doctor, and he was a fan of mine, so he was expectant. Nothing more uncomfortable than that. Extra thorough. Yes.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
And he said, no, I think this might be caused by this other infection. And so they had to go back and have another MRI scan. And it said, one to five, it's one. No cancer. So I had cancer for two months, and then I didn't.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
Bad news for all of us. Yes. But, I mean, I don't know. My wife Eliza and I have decided we're planning our 100th birthday party, my 100th birthday. I think it has to be a dance party. Yes.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
So we're trying to decide who should DJ. Any tips?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
Not an easy one. In a way, there's bits of me that would prefer to be well-known for being a good writer.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
Thank you. You know, it used to be when I started out as a writer, when people would write about my books, they would mention that they were funny. And then after the attack on the satanic verses, everybody stopped saying I was funny. really. Because that book is satirical. And people who read it, I get two reactions to people who read it now. One is, where's the dirty bit?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
Because we can't find it. And the second is, who knew it was funny? And I say, people who read it.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
I don't know about the heroism, but I think I have to be part of the fight. Right. I mean, there is a fight about free expression in America, too, at the moment. And I feel like I'm in that fight.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
They've canceled the prize giving because they have people attacking them for not being sufficiently anti-Israeli or pro-Palestinian or something. Right. I mean, everybody's so angry right now. Right. that nobody can listen or talk to anybody else. So people just shout at each other.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
Everybody's an expert. Everybody's got an opinion. And hostility. And hostility. The level of anger is crazy right now.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
I think to an extent it is, yeah. I mean, I don't know, frankly, I'm glad you asked me because I have the answer to the world's problems.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
Yeah, I mean, I just think People have to stop having such thin skins. At the moment, we're all very easily offended. And what's more is we also believe that being offended is a sufficient reason for attacking something. But actually, everything offends somebody. Always. Always. I mean, occasionally you. What? How dare you, sir? I am offended.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
You see, and then if you go down that road, then we can't talk to each other anymore.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
policing language or behavior i i think i'm trying to think has my perspective changed on it or has the dynamic changed i think what's happened is the temperature has got risen right i mean yes of course people have always disagreed and people have always said you can't say that you've got to say this that that's not new what's new is the the volume and the heat right
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
And so what do we do about taking down the volume and taking down the heat?
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
Well, it did certainly have an impact. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, what is sad is that I'd actually got my life back, really. I mean, I've been living in New York City for getting on for 25 years. Right.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
And for 23 years, it was fine.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
You know, I mean, I, you know, I mean, I was doing everything that writers do. Book tours, readings, lectures, you know. Oh, I know. I'm a writer. Don't stop. I've been there with the coffee clotches. Yeah. And Oprah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I haven't been with Oprah. None of us have. But anyway, so.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
It was a shock when this thing out of a quarter of a century ago, more than that, 30 years ago, sort of came out of a crowd at me. I really was very surprised.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
Well, I mean, nothing good. But it's now been, what, 20 months or something. I think I'm pretty much back to myself at this point.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
TDS Time Machine | Jon's 2024 Interviews
And I really do appreciate it. And it's got funny bits.