Sabrina Zohar
Appearances
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Do you shut down or do you need to talk about something immediately? That would give me an understanding, oh, maybe you lean more avoidant. Okay, well, what's uncomfortable about having the conversation? We can have more depth and understanding versus if he tells me he's avoidant and my response will be, oh, well, then what are we doing here? You're probably not even getting, right?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I'm starting all these preconceived notions. Totally. I'm curious, how did you feel received or how did your friend that was on the date feel receiving that?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
It really did shoot him in the foot. right? Because he could have more avoidant tendencies, but maybe that doesn't come out with you, right? Maybe you're significantly more secure for him and it doesn't trigger him. The problem with setting the stage is that it doesn't allow growth.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
It doesn't allow you to change and evolve because the other reality is I might be super anxious with one person, but then I meet somebody else and I'm not as triggered by that person, so I'm less anxious with them because it's a spectrum. And I think that's the misconception is we villainized avoidance, right? I mean, you know as well as I do the content we see on the internet.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And it's not fair to people. So I'll even back up. There's a book called Attached. That's what started a lot of this. Attached was written by Amir Levine. And this was written, I believe, 2007. So it's a minute ago. And it's like the number one book in this field. And Amir Levine has come out now recently saying, I was way too hard on the avoidant in the book.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I didn't understand them enough, and I really villainized them because he made them come off as these cold, calloused, we don't care about anything. We just shut down and remove ourselves. But that's not actually how avoidants work.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
There's a difference between avoidant personality disorder, somebody who just avoids everything because everything makes them uncomfortable, versus an attachment style. Here's the thing, you have to be attached for that to come out. So I might not be anxious with someone if I'm not that into them because I'm not feeling that childhood core wound being activated.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
So it's not fair for me to say I'm anxious. No, I have anxious tendencies and I run a little bit more anxious than the average person. That allows me space to grow into a different version of myself.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
So when we look at attachment cells, because I think that's a great question, right? It's, we've seen, oh, if you're anxious, at least you're expressing yourself. And it's like, no, you're not. You're just talking. Talking doesn't mean communicating, right? There's two very different things. And same with the avoidant. Well, he just pulls away. Maybe that person needs to process, right?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
There are pros and cons to the behavior, depending how we look on it. The reality is our attachment styles are not something that we asked for. So attachment styles form in the zero to six age of our lives. So attachment styles are formed very early childhood, dependent on how your caregivers attune to your needs.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
So for me, I have that high anxiety because I came in a household, I had a narcissistic father constantly dismissed us, no boundaries. We would get hit a lot. He was very abusive, very verbally abusive, leaving all the time. And then my mother, instead of attuning to our needs, if my father hit us and we're crying, she would walk out of the room. So as a child, I learned no one's safe.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I have no one I can rely on. There's no object permanence. So that's what bred this, give me the validation. Please, please, I need it. I need it. That doesn't mean that I'm a bad person in my adult life. And on the flip side, my partner, his father was very abusive growing up, and he learned emotions are not safe, so he learned to shut them down.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Just shut up, don't say anything, and you won't get hurt. So as an adult, he really struggles to express himself because he never had a safe space to do so. When we look at people that are secure, people that are secure still feel anxiety. They still have avoidant tendencies. They can still get overwhelmed and remove themselves.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
The difference is people that are secure understand that part of being in a relationship is co-creating. I need to be vulnerable and hold space for you and vice versa. So the reality is I have gotten to earn secure.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
We can get to an earn secure space, and that just means being okay with myself, being comfortable in my body, knowing my emotions, understanding where they come from, and being able to clearly express that with my partner and not take it personally if my partner needs space. We can all get to these levels, but let's say for the anxious person, there's a lot of beautiful qualities that they embody.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
They're very empathetic. They're very sensitive. They're very in tune with other people's emotions. Could be good or bad, right? And then same with the avoidant. They know how to process. Maybe they know how to take some space. They know how to be independent.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
It's when the pendulum swings to where the codependency happens with the anxious person and the hyper-independence can happen with the avoidant. And so we're just trying to find a balance between these personalities and this attachment. But there's nobody that's good or bad.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
It's really just about how can I come home to myself and feel comfortable in my body so that I can allow someone else to be a human and show compassion to both of us.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Meaning I earned it. I had that anxious attachment. Doing the work and becoming more secure is like earned secure. Meaning that I wasn't just born with it, right? I didn't have great parents. I didn't have that home. I didn't have that family unit. But as an adult, I did the work to earn that secure title, if you will. And it's just another way of saying you can change and evolve.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
You can get to that level. But I totally understand how that could be confusing. Yeah, it's not about your partner earning it. It's more just how we do the work for ourselves to show up.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
So when it comes to these attachment styles, when it comes to that, so there's been a lot of studies done and here's the good and the bad news. Where it really has formed is zero to one. So you have a lot of opportunity when you have a very young child because it actually shows in order to have a secure attachment, your parent needs to make eye contact with you 30% of the time.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
It's really not that much, but the way that this is learned, let's say for instance, okay, as a kid, you have a kid, right? And when you put the kid to bed, he starts to scream and cry. You don't go into the room, the child shuts down and learns, what's the point of yelling? No one's gonna come get me.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
So they might be more anxious as they get older because they have to scream to get anyone to look at them. So if we think about it, what that really means is understanding that as a parent, and this is probably not a very fun topic or a hot take here, as a parent, your child is meant to inconvenience you. That's the point of having a child is that they need to learn the lay of the land.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
So for people that get upset, like my baby doesn't stop crying. Yeah, that's the point of having a child. They need to learn the lay of the land. They need to learn themselves. It's called egocentric age from zero to six. Essentially what that means is from zero to six, children will internalize everything as it's about themselves. They have to be narcissistic.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
That's how they're learning the world, right? I do this, this happens to me. So right now, if you have a child, wherever it is, if you start to notice, wow, my kid shuts down, then maybe that's the time to create a safe space to go to your kid and say, hey, what feels uncomfortable about expressing yourself to me? Are you okay?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Just to be there for your kids so that they learn, oh, it's safe for me to express myself. I'm not going to get hurt. Oh, or if your kid feels they get anxious every time you leave the house, it's about asking, hey, what are you scared of happening? Do you think I'm not going to come home for you? I need to let you know I love you and I'm here for you and I'm not going to leave you.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And anytime you need me to reassure you, I will. It's those little things that I'll be honest, I didn't have that as a kid.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Oh, it's monumental, right? And because we have to remember, that first relationship was just setting the stage for how you were already feeling, right? Because if you came from a household with two really loving parents that were incredibly secure, that taught you that your self-esteem matters, right?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
That you are amazing and you are allowed to set boundaries, you're allowed to say no, then that behavior, you would have been turned off and gone, who the fuck are you? I don't need to deal with this. So I look at that saying, okay, so we see a pattern, right? Okay, there's volatility. Your nervous system feels safe during high highs and low lows.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I have to earn the love, and if I lose it, I have to earn it back. So what I would look at here is saying, okay, if we look at how did you feel in your body, right, anxious and not uncertain and all that, my next question would be, who did that person remind you of from early childhood? When do you remember feeling that in your dynamics?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
So I always dated emotionally unavailable men because it was, I'm always too much. I'm too needy. Well, that's because my father taught me that. My father was very unavailable. So I learned there's something wrong with me. I'm too much. So it's a term called repetition compulsion. It's a Freudian term.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And it pretty much means that we are going to re-mimic the same dynamics that we had growing up in our adult relationships because a part of our brain and our psyche believes it's If I can get this guy, then all of the pain goes away. See, if I can prove to them that I'm not too much, then I was wrong. My dad was wrong. Everyone was wrong. But what ends up happening?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
It just reaffirms your core belief, right? Because that person's unavailable. That person's not healthy. They're toxic, right? They're familiar. And so what we have to look at is it's not conscious. This doesn't... mean that you're doing this in your waking life walking around. But what we have to look at is and say, what feels familiar?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Like, I'd be curious, Hala, if you care, you know, if you want to be.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
That's it. Exactly. And then we see that. And so what we hear there is, oh my God, I have so much compassion. I have so much empathy for that little holla that sees this as, oh my God, but I'm scared. That's dad. I don't want to lose this. And then what the work starts to lie in is to re-parent that version of No, you're allowed to say no. You're allowed to wear leggings.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
You're allowed to be the version of yourself. Just because that wasn't accepted as a kid doesn't mean that now as an adult, it won't be accepted. But that starts with us accepting that, right? How am I going to not feel too much in my partner if I genuinely still believe I'm too much?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Oftentimes what we see is, oh, secure people can date any attachment style and it depends on the severity. So we look at attachment styles like a spectrum, right? And so there's that severe. There are people that are so... emotionally unavailable and what that actually means. And people misconstrue. They think only avoidant people are emotionally unavailable.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Anxious folks are emotionally unavailable as well. Because the anxious person is only focused on, why are you doing this? Why won't you tell me what's going on? Why don't you like me? Everything is external. So what that means is you're self-abandoning. You're not actually in touch with, hey, this doesn't make me feel good. I don't like how I'm feeling.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Then we see the avoidant person, they are emotionally unavailable. I don't want to deal with this. Nope, nope. Emotions are too heavy. This is too much. I relieve. So somebody who's secure could absolutely date somebody with a bit of an avoidant or anxious attachment style because they understand, hey, let me create a safe space.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
That person does the work privately and they're able to have a beautiful relationship. Two anxious people don't normally work because you have to remember going after someone anxious. If I come to you and say, oh my God, I really like you. My core belief is there's something wrong with me. I'm not good enough. So I look at this going, no, this is too easy. This is boring. I don't want this.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
You like me. There's no chase. And then to avoidance, nobody contacts each other. Like they're both, you know, they're both so in their own world. So really where we see the number one draw is the anxious avoidant trap, right? When the anxious and avoidant meet, the anxious person is gregarious, big, outward, right? They held so much space. They're in touch with their emotions on paper.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And the avoided person looks and says, oh my God, that's so hot. Look how open and loving they are. Look how warm they are. Then the anxious person sees the avoidant as, oh my God, they're so chill. Look, they don't have, oh, they're so independent. That's so sexy. I love that about them. But then as we start to see them, they get triggered. The anxious person wants more. No, no, come closer.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
The avoidant person starts to remove themselves and say, no, this is too much. And then we start to see this trap ensue. They both need each other. It's a very codependent relationship because the anxious and the avoidant both need each other for this dynamic to play out.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Whereas somebody secure, if you have someone that's highly anxious and you set a boundary, they're not going to keep dating that person if they disrespect the boundary. So if I'm super secure and I'm dating somebody highly anxious that doesn't respect my boundaries, texts me 24-7, freaks out if I don't text them back in two seconds, demands that I see them 24-7,
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
The secure person's going to say, no, thank you. That doesn't work for me. And they'll walk away. The anxious person, it's continuing on this trap of you're too much. You're too needy. They get to remove themselves, but they know, wait, but I need you to come back. I want you. The anxious person removes themselves and then the avoidant comes closer.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And it's just this cycle that repeats itself until somebody says, I'm fucking done.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
So I just recently saw a study done for 2024 that 71% of couples, I think it was 68 or 71, I can't remember exact, but anywhere between 68 to 71 majority meet online. And it was like a poll and they showed over the years from the 50s to now how it changed, right? How everything drastically changed. So knowing 68 to 71% of people are meeting online, that's a huge statistic to look at.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
But you know, it also is on the rise, 48% increase on Eventbrite for singles events. So what we're seeing is, yes, people are still meeting online, but now we're getting into a time where people are looking for human interaction again. They're searching for it. They're hungry for it. Girl, I can't tell you in LA how many events I've gone to where it's like, it's a singles night.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Oh, God. As somebody who is an entrepreneur, I have like a clothing line outside of this business that I built. I can totally understand and commiserate. And I think the biggest challenge that we see with entrepreneurs, especially in the dating realm, is this all or nothing mentality. It's like either I have to completely sacrifice my career to have this family, or I have to be completely alone.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
It's a dating event of meeting in person. We have to look at this as with every pro, there comes a con. I am so tired of hearing online dating ruined everything. Well, that's like saying the internet ruined everything. No, the internet brought a lot of beauty, but it also brought a lot of chaos. With good comes bad. And I think what I see is our phones are little drug machines, right?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
It's a dopamine reward system. And for anyone who's not familiar, dopamine comes in anticipation of. So our cortisol will spike in stress, and then our dopamine gets depleted because the brain needs it for the cortisol that's happening. So we're constantly seeking more, more, more. It's a slot machine. So it's the same effects that happen when you walk into a casino.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
So what I look at is, I met my partner on Hinge, so who am I to say that dating apps are the enemy? I've had great success on that aspect, but I've also met a ton of terrible people on there. I think what we have to look at is, what are the reasons that people don't want to try dating online?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
What I hear normally, I'm curious what you hear in your community, is, I hate this, it makes me uncomfortable, I don't like it. And my response to them is, then do it. Because stop trying to avoid things that make us uncomfortable. It's okay that you don't like how you feel, but then we have to look and say, is that because I have expectations on this?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Am I putting way too high of an expectation on a dating app? Is my life revolving around if someone chooses me off this app? It's just another modality of meeting people because here's the other side of the coin. Okay, fine. You want to meet someone in person, right? So are you cool with rejection? Are you cool with someone saying to your face, no, thank you?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Are you cool with a girl saying, I have a boyfriend and walking off? Are you going to go up and talk to people? And if your answer is no, well, then the apps are there to help you. So that's why I think there is a positive and negative with every regard. I see it as you need to be a better buyer. I'm not going to blame the apps because they're shitty people.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
That's not the app's fault that I went on a date with someone. That's not great because I didn't vet this person enough. So we can only blame the apps. Of course, listen, are they there to make money? The casino always wins. But that's also me. I do have agency and control on how I interact with this piece of technology.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I'm 5'8", so I'm a heightist. I'm the same. My partner's 6'5". So to me, I'm like, I think we're allowed to have some aspects of, like my partner, he says, he's like, I can't date a girl shorter than 5'8", because he's like, and then it feels very uncomfortable. My back hurts. I feel like it's my child. I don't really like that. So I think there is a level of like an 80-20 rule.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I can't talk to anybody for 10, 15 years, and then maybe I can entertain a relationship. And really where I think that stems from is we have to really look at what are your attachment styles? What were you taught growing up? Are we scared of losing our independence?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
What's 80% that you need? So if you're saying, hey, height is really important. I'm 5'8". I wear heels all the time. I don't like my partner being shorter. You're allowed to have a need. You're allowed to say that's something that's important to me. But that's where we have to look and like to your point,
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Am I being so rigid and so everything's giving me an ick that I'm almost pushing people away, right? And so what I would look at is what I personally did was I needed to find whether I was going to say no to someone or yes to someone, two to three reasons as to why I would say yes or no. So if I'm swiping left, if I'm looking and going, I don't like their height,
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
But if that's it, I'll go, okay, that's not enough of a reason. Fine, I'll give this person a try. But if I say, oh, vice versa, ooh, I want to match with this person. They're 6'4". Is there any other reason I want to match with them? No, their prompts are stupid. Their photos look really lame. Okay, so then what am I matching with this person for?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And I think what it comes to is that self-awareness of what is it that's a non-negotiable for me? Fine, you want to have height as a non-negotiable, I'll give it to you. You want to have hair color, right? You're allowed to have things that make you feel turned on by somebody. But we want to look at and say, am I super rigid? Is there no flexibility on this?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I've dated guys that are 5'8", and they're fantastic. There were other reasons it didn't work out. And so I think when it comes to apps, it's natural that it's going to be. The average person makes their decision within four seconds of an app. You have all but seconds to decide if you want to see somebody. But I'd argue to say similar in person, right? I've dated in New York where I'd go to a bar.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
If I look and go, oh, I'm not attracted, I walk off. If this guy tries to talk to me, no, thank you. I don't want it. So I think there is an element of reality that, yes, of course, are there vibe checks? Like my partner's not my type. Not that he's not attractive. He's just not the same guy I always went for. That's why I chose him because I said, oh, what am I saying no to?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I said, oh, just because he's not my type, that's not enough of a reason for me to say no to this person. So I matched with him. And like, here's the thing. If you're unsure, do a FaceTime vibe check, right? If you're like, oh, he's a little short, but maybe he has a great personality, I'll do a FaceTime with him before I go out with him.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
You can bucketize people into, I'll do FaceTimes with these people, but I'll go out with these people. What we want to look at is, am I saying no to people because I'm being rigid or am I saying no to people because they genuinely don't align with what it is that I feel like I want or need?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Is it that we have this mindset that it's like, I have to be making this much money in order for me to attract the right partner, right? And so I think what we start to see is it's really the core beliefs and the narratives that start to push in its way. Because for me personally, I met my partner when I was in between businesses. So my clothing line,
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
What I would say is we would also start with a little bit of compassion of there's nothing wrong with me that I like these tall men, but I would be curious then to ask you, what does their height represent to you? Is it that you feel safe and secure with somebody? This is creepy, but is your dad tall? Like my dad's 6'3", so I always thought that a bigger man was something I felt more attracted to.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
What does the height represent, right? Is it security, safety? We have to look at that as what am I putting on the height as what does that mean to me? For me personally, it's because I wear heels. I don't want to be shorter than my partner all the time. And it made me feel better knowing that I have a bigger person than me. That was more attractive to me personally. But that's a me thing.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
So I'm curious, Hala, for you, when you hear that,
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Here's the thing, the beauty of the awareness that you have of, okay, that's something that I do. That way, when you're on the apps, if you're going to say no to someone and you're like, wait, Hala, you're only doing this because he's short. He's really attractive. He's cool. I like a lot about him.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
That is how you can start to make different choices for yourself and say, okay, me chasing the guys that are above six feet hasn't gone anywhere. Let me give this a try. If it works, cool. And if it doesn't, it doesn't. That's that flexibility that we start to incorporate of, I'm allowed to say I want someone taller than me, but since I'm five feet, most people are going to be.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
That's, I think, where we could start to look and say, great, let me try a new experience. Let's try matching with someone that's 5'9 and see how you feel when you go out with them. Is it their height that bothers you or are there 40 other things about them you don't like?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Not a fan of lists because then that's rigidity. What I would suggest, because a lot of people, my brother's whole thing has always been burn your fucking checklist. He's like, it's not getting you anywhere. What I would suggest is focus on how do I want to feel when I'm with this person? For instance, I want to feel seen, heard, and understood. What's that going to mean, right?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
If I want to feel that with someone, wow, that feels so secure. So what I'm looking for is someone that's compassionate because for me to feel seen, heard, and understood, I need compassion and empathy. I need someone that loves acts of service. So that's what I would look at is how I want to feel. Because you could meet someone and go, they check all my boxes, right?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
They're tall, they're successful, they're fun. They do all of these things, but yet I'm not feeling it. Well, it could be I'm not feeling it because I'm so used to dysfunction, right? I am. That when I meet someone that's secure, oh, it feels off. So they check all the boxes, but I want to look at how do I want to feel with this person?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I was supposed to do Shark Tank, got sent home. It was this whole debacle. And I had been hustling and growing it and doing everything I could and pouring my life in. And then I just realized at the end of it, what did I have to show, right? Okay, so I had money in the bank and I had this career, but I didn't feel fulfilled.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Because you could meet someone that doesn't check those boxes and go, holy shit, I feel amazing with this person. That's what I want to look at and focus on is I want to feel reciprocated. I want to feel consistency. I want to feel that this person prioritizes me in their life, right? Or that dating is a priority.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
That I think is something more concrete versus I want all of these boxes that maybe somebody doesn't have them doesn't mean they're not still a great match for you.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Well, that right there, what you just said is beautiful. My God, right? It's listening to that softer voice. So for me, when I was running software, I was running a million-dollar business alone. So as you can imagine, I was swamped, right? What I would do personally is I had very strict boundaries around my time.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Okay, I allow myself once a week to go out on a date, right, or once or twice a week. I have a couple of times because the point is dating is an addition to your life. It's not instead of. So we do need to open up space. It can't be every week where you're like, well, I have my girlfriends on Monday. I have a work meeting Tuesday. Wednesday's my bingo night. Sorry, I don't have time.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
It's like, you don't have time to date, right? We have to be open and receptive to that. But at that same token, we have to also be cognizant of just that. What is my gut telling me? What is my reasoning for going out with this person? If you're saying, listen, I haven't gone out on a date. I just want to get dressed up and go out. Go have fun.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
But for you, I would say, because you're so swamped, coffee dates, Coffee dates are huge for me. I love a coffee date because what you could say is, hey, I'm about to go run an errand. Why don't you come meet me for 25 minutes? Let's see if we have something here. If we do, then we could go to dinner, right?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
That's you respecting your time and boundaries and saying, I just want to do a quick vibe check. FaceTime vibe check, right? Let's have a conversation on FaceTime. Wow, you're funny. Okay, cool. I'd like to meet you. Versus, oh, no, thank you. I'm not into this. Because at the end of the day, you set the boundaries, right? You prioritize how often you spend on work.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
You prioritize how your friendships are. It's just another priority. And if you're telling me, well, I don't prioritize that, it's like, well, then there you go. You're not ready for a relationship. It's okay.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And so when I started this career, I also met my partner at the same time and navigating growing a business and like really scaling a business while trying to form a relationship. By no means is it easy, but it's absolutely possible when we understand truly ourselves, we understand our want, needs, and desires, and we understand the boundaries that we're willing to place.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Which is fine. Listen, you're allowed to believe anything you want. I will never try to dissuade you. But what I would say is then you're chasing a feeling. You want, I wanted to feel sexy. I wanted to feel this. But the reality is that is going to fade. That's not going to last forever.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
So what we want to see is if I just show up in a workout outfit looking like this and you and I have a great fucking conversation over coffee, that is more important than I got all dressed up. He took me to this amazing dinner, but then I never heard from him again. because it's performative, right? And so that's why I would say, do what feels comfortable for you.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
But for me personally, that was me respecting my time. Hey, I'm going to go walk the dog. Why don't you join me? Because if I can't just go on a walk with you and have a good conversation, then what relationship are you and I going to build? Because if I'm focused on, well, I want to feel the spark and I want to feel this excitement, that's the first thing that's going to go.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And then all of a sudden we wonder why people go, but in my relationship, I'm bored. which, Hala, I say this with love, but given what you shared about earlier, that high and low, that's, I think, why, is because you want to feel that excitement so that it'll keep going, but then you notice how eventually it's going to come down.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And so we want to find a baseline, something that feels just calm and secure. The reason I bring up coffee dates is because of the timing thing. If you were like, oh, I'm not running a business, I got plenty of time. I got all these nights I could go out to dinner. Great, do what feels comfortable.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
But then we hear the, well, I got ready and I did my makeup and my hair and this person never called me back. It's like, because no one owes you anything. And so that's me respecting my time and my boundaries saying, you don't owe me anything and I don't owe you anything. Let's meet at Erewhon for 30 minutes. Let's have a quick jive. If we get it, great. I'd love to go to dinner with you.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And if not, that's cool too.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I think if that helps you feel like you can manage your schedule, sure. I think there's also an element of reality. I'm sure that you're not so rigid that if you met someone that you really liked and they're like, hey, I'm so sorry, I can't do Friday. Could you do Thursday? You're like, okay, fine. I can make an exception, right? Like, especially if there's somebody really great.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
That's, I think, it is really just about feeling in control of your dating life. And that's okay if you're like, hey, I do my first dates on a Friday or Saturday. That way I don't have to worry about work. Absolutely. That's a boundary that you're setting. The other alternative could be I also leave a Tuesday at 6 o'clock just for me because I don't do late nights. For me, like, I'm up at 5 a.m.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
every morning. I can't be out. I don't drink alcohol. I don't want to do that whole thing. So I'm going to do an earlier date. But it's a really great way to see because here's the beauty about what I like about what you're doing is you're setting a boundary saying, hey, I can only go out Friday. Somebody that respects you will say, cool, let me make it happen. Or, hey, Hala, I'm so sorry.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Could I do Thursday? Right. You can have a conversation. Versus if you say that and they're like, wow, high maintenance, no thank you, goodbye, right? You get to see when I scratch the surface a little bit and I say no to you, how does that person show up?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
and have some flexibility, right? If it's, I have to get this work done tonight, I have a deadline, then it's having a partner that understands, hey, I'm so sorry, I can't make it to dinner. Can I make it up to you? And it's really about understanding ourselves, how we communicate with other people.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Totally. Okay. So my question back would be, and how has that worked?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
So scientifically, right? This isn't me just making shit up. This is an actual study. If you Google, anybody that wants to Google the spark by Harvard, that's it. It'd come up to 2015.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
My friend, Scott, he is a doctor, like a psychologist, and he calls them the trauma tingles because scientifically what they've seen is the spark is just your nervous system giving blood to your, I call them the phalanges, but to your hands and your feet so that you could run. Because there's something that your body is recognizing that feels familiar.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
So you felt the spark with these guys and you look back and you're like, yeah, they were all abusive or whatever, not abusive, but controlling or this or that, right? Whatever, insert this word. Because what ends up happening is, let me ask you this, the spark, right? You feel that. If you weren't attracted to that person, you'd probably be like, I need to get out of here. Something feels off.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I feel this intensity. I'm dysregulated. I don't feel safe here. The problem is we see someone attractive and go, oh, Oh my God, it's a sign. What we want to look at is we want your nervous system to feel regulated. We want your nervous system to feel safe with this person. And that means that the spark isn't going to be present. That doesn't mean you can't have attraction.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
When I first met my partner, I felt nothing. No spark, nothing. And I just thought, he's a nice guy. I'll keep getting to know him. And we went on a hike. We went for like three hours and it was like this beautiful hike in this neighborhood, whatever, whatever. And then after he said, listen, I'd love to take you to dinner if you're open to it. If not, totally understand. We could part ways.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And I said, you know what? Let me give him a try. He didn't do anything wrong. He's adorable. I'm just not feeling it. And sure enough, we went back to his house to drop off the dog. We both got changed and we walked out. I was like, oh, he's way cuter than I like thought he was. And he like came and kissed me. And all of a sudden I like felt it. I was like, oh, I like this.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
It is possible, but I think more often than not, we think it's one or the other, and we don't realize you can have both. It's just about balance.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And we ended up hooking up. And fast forward, here we are. We went to dinner after. I never have felt the spark with him because my nervous system has always felt very safe with him because he's not inconsistent. He's not doing any of those things. He's being very upfront, consistent, safe, reciprocal. He communicates. And that's different for me. And the thing is, the spark often is familiarity.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Notice how you went after all these men. And what did you say earlier? They reminded me of my dad. Because that's what the spark leads us to is that people that feel familiar that are often end up usually hurting us because we're chasing a feeling. And when that feeling fades, what do you have left?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I just did a video recently of like, instead of ghosting, say this, went mega viral, like 11 million. I got thousands of comments polarizing. One being like, yes, thank you. This is it, maturity. Yes, please be honest. And then the other side of the internet, I'd rather get ghosted. Ghosting's easier. I don't owe anybody anything, right? So we look at the emotional maturity, but...
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Off the bat, let's talk about what ghosting is. By definition, ghosting means an abrupt ending in a relationship. That's the key word here. So that means we have had to build some kind of rapport. To me, the I haven't answered on an app, that's not ghosting to me. You don't know who this person is. You have never met this person. You don't owe these people anything.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And that to me means expectations, right? If I say, well, what the hell? This person ghosted me on an app. It's like, why are you expecting some stranger on the internet to owe you anything?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
They might not even be real, right? Catfishing is so huge. They're bots, right? And also there's a reality that I don't know who you are. I've talked to you for a day. I don't owe you anything. Maybe you said something that was a huge turnoff and I was just like, I'm good, I'm out, right?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And so then what I see the people that are like, I can't believe they ghosted and they message a thousand times. It's like, that's probably why this person said, no, thank you. I'm kind of the same. Listen, let's say you have a first date. No one texts each other after. That's not ghosting. No one said anything. You move on with your life. You don't owe anyone anything.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
To me, where the ghosting starts to play in is you've spent time with this person, right? You've spent time with this person and they're texting you like, hey, I'd love to see you again. You just never hear back. You could have just said that you're not interested, right? But I think you have to have a rapport that's built before you can say this person ghosted me.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Because we have to remember too, ghosting, what does it do to our psyche? If I'm saying everyone ghosts me, that means I'm not going to trust people. I'm going to start to feel, oh, I don't believe, right? Then I have a different energy versus they didn't answer. Oh, well, thanks for doing me the favor. I didn't waste any more of my time.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
One, take a break. You have every right to say, I don't want a date right now. I need to take a minute. I'm exhausted, right? Take some time. But on top of that, so then we start to go in and say, let's start to talk about what's causing the burnout. Is it that I say I'm going on a thousand dates and I'm not getting second dates?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Okay, I need to become a better buyer then because I'm going on way too many first dates and not really vetting these people well. we kind of have to understand where the burnout really lies. So if it's that, if it's I'm just tired of the apps and feeling disappointed, okay, you know what? Let me use them passively.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Let me see who tries to match with me, and then I will decide if I want to match with them. That way, I don't feel like I'm being rejected as hard. That's where I kind of go and say, start to get curious about what's the narrative that's being associated with the burnout. Is it that I don't feel like anyone's ever gonna like me? Nobody, oh God, everybody good is taken.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Oh, okay, I have black and white thinking, right? There's no facts to back up that every good person is taken. There's a lot of good people getting divorced, right? There's a lot of good people breaking up too. There's an evolution, there's a cycle. So we have to look and say, am I being rigid?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Am I having black and white thinking that's causing me to reaffirm my core beliefs that there's something wrong with me? oh, okay, maybe that's why I'm feeling burnt out. I'm being so hard on myself. I'm not having any compassion. Or is it because, like I said, you're not being a better buyer. You're going out with anybody that gives you the time of day. Oh, you know what?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I need to have better boundaries. This doesn't work for me. Is it because I'm overgiving, right? I meet somebody on one date and I'm ready, I'm buying them gifts and I'm trying to do everything to get them to like me. I need to pull it back. That's exhausting. I'm not having reciprocity.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
So I think it's about just understanding where we fall on that, getting curious with ourselves, and then understanding what are boundaries and parameters I can put so that I feel comfortable. Coffee dates or one date a week, right?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Those are beautiful boundaries for yourself to say, I'm going to protect my mental health, but I'm also still going to remain open and receptive because I do want a relationship.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
First date. Because here's the reality. I'm not saying first date, you have to start talking about, okay, I'm going to have six children. We're going to have a house in the cottage in the woods and we're going to... No, no, no, no. But if I'm going on a date with you and I know, okay, I'm 34, right? Me personally, I'm 34. If I were dating right now, I don't want children.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Totally. It's a great question. I personally am in a relationship as I am the entrepreneur. My partner has always just had a job. He's just worked in tech. He's never owned his own company. And the one major aspect I think is it's really about the communication.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
So to me, it's not an issue. But if I wanted children, I'd go... okay, Zohar, you got like two, three more years before this becomes geriatric, or it already is, before it becomes more dangerous for your health. So that means on a first date, the first thing I'm going to say is, hey, I'm super intentional. I want marriage and family. Does that align with you? Because if the guy goes, no, I'm good.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I don't want any more children. Great. I don't need to hang out with you again. No, thank you. Right? It's not about having a checklist that you're like, oh, perfect. You align with that. It's about getting curious with somebody. I talked to my partner about how'd your last relationship end and what did it teach you about yourself? I wanted to see if he took accountability.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I wanted to see if he was going to blame his ex. Oh, my ex was crazy. Was she? Were they? They were crazy, huh? Tell me more. That's an interesting. I want to know, what are your political views? Are you super rigid on that? Because if I'm conservative, you're a liberal or vice versa, we're only going to have fights. This is not going to work.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
That's the type of shit because we want to understand that your time is valuable. Let me ask you a question. If you had a client come to you, you're going to ask the hard questions off the bat, right? Hey, what's your budget? How much do you have, right? Or whatever, like all of the variables because you don't want to waste your time. It's the same with dating.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
The reason I like how did your last relationship end and what did it teach you about yourself? We're not talking about your ex. So it's not about saying, oh, well, my ex was all of these things. Okay, I didn't ask you about them. I asked you how it ended and what did you learn about yourself? So that right there is a great way to see, do they take accountability? Are they over their ex?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Have they moved on? Do they process? How do they speak about them? Another question I love to ask is, how do you normally handle disagreements or arguments? Are you the type that likes to talk or are you somebody that needs space, right? That'll give me an understanding of how do they handle conflict and resolution. Where do you see yourself in five years?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
In a perfect world, how would you like this to play out, right? Just to understand if they're like, oh, I'm living here and I'm doing this. And you're like, oh, I don't want to do that. I want to live in the country with 10 kids. Like this doesn't align with me. Just asking things that are important to you. Like, what matters to me is I want to see how emotionally available you are.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I want to see how emotionally intelligent you are. I'm not going to talk about my family probably on the first date because I don't think it's appropriate to trauma dump. So I'm not going to ask you besides anything of like, so tell me about your relationship with your parents. Are you guys close? And if someone says, no, not really. Okay, cool.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And it's important to be very clear with the person that you're seeing, you're dating, like, hey, my priority right now is scaling this business, getting it to this level, doing what I need to do in order to get that, which is going to mean that there are going to be sacrifices that need to happen.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Well, hey, I'd love to learn more about that as I get to know you further.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
When we look at red flags, all red flags are is a pattern of behavior that could indicate turmoil in a relationship. We hear this all the time. Oh, that's a red flag. And you're like, what's a red flag about it? How is that an indication that there's a problem in the relationship? What's a red flag? Someone dismissing me? Someone discrediting me? A red flag, all my exes are crazy.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Oh, you don't take accountability. Got it. Right? Those are red flags. They're like somebody that their words and actions aren't aligning. Look, those are true red flags. Then we go onto the green flags. Green flags could be something so minute as they said they were gonna call and they called. They took me to their favorite restaurant and introduced me to the staff.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
That's a great, wow, they are trying to bring me part of their life. We have to look at green flags are what are things that make me say, hey, this feels safe, secure, and good to me. They're consistent. Consistency means their words and actions align. They're reliable. When they say they're going to do something, they do it, or they communicate that they can't do it.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
A green flag that often people is actually a red flag is like when people say, oh, well, they text me every day. That's not actually good. I don't want someone that's constantly texting me. Good morning. How are you? I don't know you, dude. I spent two hours with you. Why are you saying good morning to me? Who are you?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
That's where we have to start to look and differentiate because green flags, I like to look at it as a glimmer to your nervous system. What that means is it's, yay, this makes me feel good and safe versus a red flag is more of a trigger to your nervous system. Ooh, I don't like that. That doesn't make me feel safe. This isn't a good look.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
That's what we want to look at is when someone tells you something or acts, how does it make you feel? That's how you'll be able to differentiate between, is this a red flag for me or a green flag?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I think it depends on how that fits into your life. I know people that are asexual. So to them, they're like, that doesn't bother me. And it's like, okay, so sex is not a big deal. Whereas for me, I slept with my partner on the first date because it is huge for me. I need that intimacy in my relationship. So I think, listen, we've all, not all of us, but a lot of us have seen Love is Blind.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I had a talk with my partner to explain, yes, when we wake up in the morning, I'm probably checking my emails. I'm making sure that people in other countries, that brands and things that I'm dealing with in Switzerland that are 15 hours ahead, not Switzerland being 15 hours ahead, you know my point, but these different places, right? You're navigating different parts of the world.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I think we know and acknowledge that it takes more than just a great personality for us to feel a connection. There is also, because for me, if I don't have the physical intimacy, that means that this is my roommate, right? You're just a friend of mine. That's what differentiates. But to other people, that works. So, hey, if that works for you, great. That's fine.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
But we also have to look because now, I don't know if you've heard this too, Hala, there's all these different like demisexual, sapiosexual, all these new things. I get turned on by your mind. I get turned on by this. There's going to be something for everybody. So I think it's about just being true to yourself. If physicality is important, don't kid yourself.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
You don't need to do charity work and date someone because they're nice to you, but you don't even want them to touch you.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Did you remember the book, The Game? No. Okay, so yeah, this was a while ago, but it was a guy, I'm a little fuzzy on it, but it was this guy, he wrote a book, and essentially it's teaching men how to get a woman to be obsessed with you. And so he started hanging out with all these players and learning their tools. And then a lot of men now take that book as like gospel. Negging is another part.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
So, negging is essentially putting you down. It's like a backhanded compliment. So, they're putting you down to make you question yourself. Negging, for example, could be, oh, wow, yeah, you actually do look good in white. And you're like... Thank you, right?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
It's like, it's a bit of a, and then it makes you feel a little insecure because you're like, oh, they're putting me down, but they're complimenting me. What that is, is it's giving the other person the control, right? Then they start to break you down as a person. Then you're like, oh, I want your validation. So do you not like white on me? Because you said, oh, wow, I actually look good in it.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Do I not normally? It starts to make you question your own reality and your own. Negging is very common in narcissists a lot, but it doesn't have to be somebody who is a narcissist. Talk about an overused term. Negging could be someone who's insecure, who thinks if I put her down and give her a backhanded compliment, she's going to want me even more. And it's just not fun. This is not good shit.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Please don't neg people. But it's just a manipulation tactic so that you come out where somebody wants you even more.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Exactly. If you are wildly insecure, oh, that's just going to feel probably like your parents, right? Like, oh, you're putting me down again. Yeah, because there's something wrong with me. But like you said, when you've really done the work, you've come home to yourself and you're like, no, I'm pretty awesome. I don't know what you're talking about.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And it's really about being communicative with your partner and saying like, hey, this is part of the gig, right? You want the entrepreneur. You want this person that's so driven and motivated, but that's also going to come with sacrifices that I'm going to need to make in this relationship. But I am still 100% committed to us growing together.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
That's the adult version, letting that little you know, like, I'm not going to let anyone talk to you like this ever again. You don't deserve this. It's a beautiful act of self-love.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
It's all those little like sending an emoji on a story, right? Like remember back on Facebook when you could poke people? Micro-flirting is not being as outward about it. And I think, listen, here's my thing. I'm a very blunt, direct, go for it type of person. So to me, I see micro-flirting as like, It's a soft blow of rejection. Oh, I don't want to get rejected. So let me micro flirt.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And if they don't give me a sign, then I don't have to get rejected. If that works for you, fine. But to me, it's like, I'm either going to do it or I'm not. My mama always used to say, she's like, you're not half pregnant. You either are or you're not. So they call it like tapping on the window on Insta when someone likes all your story, all of your photos. And you're like, okay, I'm pretty sure.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
They're not being outward because they don't want to be rejected. They're giving just enough to see if you reciprocate before they go any further.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And look at how you receiving that. You're like, I'd love for you to just ask me out. Do it. But his fear of getting rejected is causing him to micro flirt. And you're like, I don't want this. I want someone that's going to come and ask me out.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Let's talk about this. The feminine masculine. Now, does it have a place? Yeah. Listen, there are feminine qualities. There's masculine. That's a polarity, right? But this open-hearted masculine, it's like, oh, let me guess. You're just saying, be vulnerable and open while still being manly. And it's like...
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
No, okay, so then what I would say is who is determining what's masculine and feminine, right? To some people, they'd say masculine men don't be vulnerable, but to me, I find that very sexy and masculine. I think that's really beautiful that you're in touch with yourself. So that's my issue with these feminine masculine conversations. It's the same with the high value stuff.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
It's like, who are you to determine my value because I wanna take you to coffee and not dinner? I'm suddenly, I don't have any worth. masculinity and femininity to me come into safety. Let's think about this. I can be feminine. And what is really feminine is the receiving, right? I can disarm. I can feel soft. I can be in my receiving. How am I going to receive if I don't feel safe?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I have to feel safe. And then my partner, he will protect me and be that masculine figure when he feels safe in order to do so. Otherwise, he's going to be like, I don't want to. Why would I protect you? You're not somebody that's for me. So I look at it less as I need to be masculine and feminine and more that I want to feel safe so that I can receive and disarm.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And if you're willing to sit by my side while we go through this, I promise to at least communicate along the way.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
But then I can also step in and protect when I need to. That's how I would look at it, because open hearted masculinity, I think, is just trying to tell people it's like saying men wear pink, right? Like it's OK to have an open heart and be vulnerable and transparent and honest and open. You're still a man and masculine if you do that.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I'm the same. I'm very masculine. And what does that mean? It's more outwards, right? I'm more go-getter. I'm going to protect and I'm going to serve and I'm going to be the mama bear, right? And it's like, but that's a balance, right? We do have feminine and masculine. Every person has that polarity. And I'm the same in my relationship. I just want to disarm.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I want to feel soft and taken care of and loved. That's because we find a balance. And then my partner works for my company. And so in careers, yeah, he's a little more feminine. He has to back down. And I'm the one that's taking reins. I'm the owner. But in our relationship, he gets to come in and be the masculine.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
The funny thing is, people always equate masculine to, oh, the woman cooks and cleans. My partner cooks. He cleans. He takes care of the household. He does all of that. But he's protecting me. He's taking care of me. And I am... The breadwinner, right? I'm taking care of our salaries. I'm making sure. But it works for us. What we want to look at is what works for you, right?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
If you want a more traditional life, great. That comes with a price. If I don't, great. That comes with a price. What works for you?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Burn your fucking checklist. It's not getting you anywhere. Focus on how do I want to feel when I'm with this person? Because you could meet someone that doesn't check those boxes and go, holy shit, I feel amazing with this person.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I think what we have to look at here is where's the insecurity lie, right? Because for me, I totally understand. It felt like I was this badass boss babe. And you're like, but why can't I find a partner that wants that? And it all just meant was I just needed to find someone that was secure with a strong woman, right? My partner was raised by very strong women.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I've met them all and they are incredible powerhouses. So meeting me was like, oh my God, this is what I've been looking for. And so I think what it is, it's about owning and acknowledging, yeah, Hala, you're a badass. You are not only gorgeous, not only smart, not only successful, you're going to be very intimidating to a lot of people.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
But that doesn't mean that you need to water yourself down in order to have someone. That means that you stand in your confidence so that you can have a man that stands in his. I like to look at it as my partner is the frame and I'm the picture. We both can't be the center of attention. We both can't be the painting.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
So I get to be this fun, bright, woo, and he's the structure that keeps me in place. Well, I need that balance. And I need, as a strong business owner, I need the support system. That doesn't mean I have to date a fellow business owner because they might be needing those same things. But I would say really embrace the parts of yourself that make you who you are.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
That's what makes you successful and cool is the fact that you are a go-getter. And there are going to be people out there that are going to love that. Don't let someone else's insecurities water you down.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Communication, number one, always and forever. A relationship is one giant conversation, right? You have to have those hard talks. Anytime you say, oh, I don't want to say something, it's going to push them away, you've already lost the relationship. That's number one.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
If you have, my favorite therapist, she's a marriage and family therapist, her name is Julie Menino, and her stuff is called The Secure Relationship. And We were talking and she said, the one thing to look out for outside of the communication is two participants, two people, I don't care who they are, in this relationship that say, no matter what, we will make it work. Right?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Of course, within reason, obviously. But two people, if you have two people that are driven to become better versions of themselves, like when my partner and I have an issue, anytime there's an issue, the first thing I'll say is, hey, to avoid resentment, can I share something with you? He knows when I say that, that it's time. Okay, I'm listening. What's going on? And same with him.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
That way, if I say something, he'll go, okay. Thank you for letting me know. I had no idea I impacted you on that. I'm going to talk to my therapist about steps that I can take so that I can make you feel more supported. That way I communicate and then I let my partner do what they need to do. But you know what the common denominator is?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Both of us are committed to making this work within our power. I can't do the work for him and he can't do it for me. But as long as you're two people that have respect, that listen, that communicate, then The sky is the fucking limit. You will go through all the hard times as long as you remember that you're a team. Work through your triggers. Your partner's going to trigger you. That's okay.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I was the epitome of a hot mess. I don't know how else to say it in a polite way. For me personally, I grew up with a father who was an entrepreneur all of my life. My father owned businesses. He never worked for anybody else. And then I had a mom that was a stay-at-home mom.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
It doesn't mean that everything has to be perfect. Conflict is part of it. The repair is what we want to look at.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Start noticing the sensations in your body. And the reason I say that is because when you start to understand yourself, you are a goddamn superpower. It is incredible that when you understand, wait a minute, oh, whoa, this is a sensation in my body. I can go regulate this. You will be more profitable the next day because you'll make decisions from a clearer head.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
You'll make decisions from a more empowered space and you're making decisions for your highest good, not out of anxiety or fear.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
My secret to profiting in life truly is the unapologetic aspect that I am myself and I'm not going to change. Because if I don't stand for something, I fall for everything. And so authentically accepting myself. Does she curse a lot? Yep. Do I talk a lot? You bet your ass I do. Do I have all of these qualities? Absolutely. but that's who I am. That's what makes me so unique and special.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And I think embracing those aspects of yourself and not being ashamed, not dismissing yourself, not discrediting yourself is truly what makes me feel the most authentic and powerful in my own life.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
SabrinaZohar.com is my website or Sabrina.Zohar on TikTok or Instagram or The Sabrina Zohar Show. If you guys want to learn more about like dating, anxiety, and doing the work to heal, I got you.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
So it was two very polarizing experiences, one sacrificing everything to have children and then the other one sacrificing everything to have a business. So I grew up with a lot of core wounds, right? I'm not good enough. I'm too much. There's something wrong with me. And it doesn't surprise anybody that I went into sales, right?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I had to sell myself and convince people, and I crushed it as being in sales and working in wholesale and in fashion. I lived in New York for 12 years, and I just started to realize I am the epitome of trauma. I continue to repeat the same patterns. I continue to date the same people. I continue to have the same experiences. And for me, I leaned highly anxious. So
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Really quick, just for anybody who's not familiar, we've got the attachment styles. And the reason I bring up attachment styles isn't because I want everyone to start diagnosing everyone they're dating. Attachment styles are just important for us, right? So off the bat, we've got four main attachment styles depending on who you're talking to.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
We've got secure, which means I can give and receive love. I understand independence and interdependence. People that are secure grew up in households where their parents were loving and compassionate and gave them the needs that they had. They attuned to their needs. They taught them how to give and receive, right? It's more of a balance. Then we have the insecure attachments.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
We have anxious, which manifests in constantly needing validation, everything being external. You tell me I'm okay. I just need to know I'll be all right. Then the pendulum swings, and usually the anxious household is inconsistency, abandonment issues, things of caregivers not being there consistently. Then we have the avoidant, and the avoidant is the other end of the spectrum, right?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
The avoidant is not a bad person. That just means when triggered, this person learns to shut down. So the anxious goes outwards. I need the validation. The avoidant looks at this as, I just need to protect myself. Feelings aren't safe. I don't want to deal with this. Too much overload, shut down. So they go inward. And so we see that a lot, especially with high-powered CEOs.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
If you're super avoidant, you might be just no emotion, everything is factual, but that doesn't translate into our relationships because we do need to hold space for emotions. So oftentimes, a lot of business owners can be more avoidant-leaning because they learn, let me just dump everything into my business. I don't need to worry about the rest.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Then we have that disorganized attachment, which is the amalgamation, if you will. But it's really that push-pull. I want love. So they have that anxiety of I need it, I need it. But then when they get it, it's no, no, no, I'm scared of it. And they run. So that's where you'll see that push-pull where you almost feel like you're going crazy. That's this disorganized attachment.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Those are really prevalent in homes of abuse, right? You love your caregiver, but you're scared of them at the same time. So it creates that amalgamation. The reason I bring that up is just to say I was the poster child for anxiety, right? I was constantly seeking external validation, inclusive of my business, right? Trying to present myself.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
If physicality is important, don't kid yourself. You don't need to do charity work and date someone because they're nice to you, but you don't even want them to touch you. Talk to me about sparks and how we should think about them. The spark is just your nervous system giving blood to your hands and your feet so that you could run.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And it was 10 years of doing the same shit, 10 years of dating the same people, dating the emotionally unavailable, not understanding what was wrong with me, feeling so insecure in my business. When I started software, it didn't matter how much money we made. Every day I was scared. Fear. Fear was driving the car. And that's that anxiety.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And for me, that manifested in my dating relationships being shit. I married my father. I married an exact replica of the man I was trying to run away from my entire life. And after that, when I hit rock bottom and I just said, I'm a shell of a human. I don't have any money. This was 2018. And I said, I'm starting therapy.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And that just started to understand, oh, where did I learn this behavior from? Oh, wait, what's coming up for me? Oh, wow, wait, in my business, I'm also manifesting as this very anxious person. And it's coming out in my relationships, right? Like you just start to understand how they're correlating. Fast forward 2022, I moved to LA, I left New York. I was running software.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Software during COVID exploded. We hit a million dollars that year and it was just me running everything. So I was super proud of the business that I'd built. And the next year I'm ready to go on Shark Tank. This is July of 2022. None of what I have now existed. I wasn't a dating coach or a relationship coach or anything.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
But at the time, I was doing a ton of podcasts and panels and people were reaching out to me to coach them for business. Like, how do you start a business from nothing? Can you teach me about the mindset and things like that? So I was coaching people off the beaten path, if you will. And I was on Shark Tank and I was like, this is it. This is going to be my life. I'm going to fucking kill it.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I'm going to get this deal. This is going to be it for me. And after 12 hours of on set, they said, sorry, we don't have time for you today. You got to go home. I crashed. That was the second big breakdown for me. The first being when my ex left me and my mom got sick and my life started to transition. I started my clothing company. Then this is fast forward five, six years later.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
You're like, it feels like Groundhog's Day. You're like, wait a minute. How can I lose everything again? A month later, my dog passed away. I just couldn't understand what to do. I had no money. My business was in shambles. I broke up with this guy that I was not happy with. My dog passed away. My dating life is shit.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And all I kept thinking was there's got to be other people that are hurting like I am. And there's got to be other people that are looking at the clickbait on the internet saying, but this doesn't resonate with me. I don't want to play these games. So I started to create my own content. I just picked up a TikTok one day and said, let me see if there's other people that resonate.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And that just mushroomed into, okay, there are. And people were coming to me like, hey, can we talk? I want you to coach me. I want to work with you. And I just started to organically build this business on, okay, supply and demand. You want me, I'm here. I'll do what you need.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
The problem is we see someone attractive and go, oh my God, it's a sign.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
But all of that was staying really fucking authentic to myself and not changing who I am and not trying to people please and, oh, don't talk as fast because these people don't like it. No, this is who I am and this is how I speak. And that just allowed me to grow that business all while I met my partner at the same time. And my life changed when internally I changed.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
As a business owner, I've never been a better business owner because of the work that I've done.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
100%.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
For people that are listening, you're entrepreneurs, right? We're always waiting for the perfect moment. Oh, I need like, even I'm sure, Hala, you could have how many experiences where you're like, I was waiting, waiting, waiting, and then you start something and you just, it works, right? Your podcast, growing, expanding.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
I could imagine there was prep, but you just sometimes have to say, let me just go for it. And it was the same. It was seeing a need in the market. And I think that's really something that I highlight with any entrepreneurs that I work with. What problem are you actually solving? right?
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
If you have a passion towards something and you say, I am the prime demographic that needs this material, well, then it's really understanding who my audience is so that I can resonate more with them. My mama has always taught me, you can please some of the people some of the time, but you can't please all the people all the time. And
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And understanding that, that as a business owner, I can't make everybody happy and I'm not trying to, but by really staying true and just watching the market and being very aware of, okay, this is what people want. Great. Let me give them more. You know what? This isn't what people want. I don't need to put more of my energy into that.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
You have to.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
Allowed me to take control of my life, which is also very reminiscent of how we can experience our dating life. I can't control the outcome. I can't control if this is going to work, but I can control how I show up and how I navigate the waters.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
No, because I'll be honest, people are really shitty at self-assessment. So I can, I hear this every day of like, I'm secure and I'm this. And you're like, really? But all of these actions that you're stating don't match secure. And the reality is that attachment styles are not fixed. Wait, wait, before I go on, what did he say he was? I think he said he was avoidant. Right.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And the reality is because then if somebody's saying, oh, I'm avoidant, as the receiving end of that is a woman who has leans more anxious, huge red flag. And the problem is it's not that he's a red flag. It's not that he being avoidant is a red flag. It's because of what we've been taught and conditioned. The minute I hear, oh, you're more avoidant, no thanks, I don't want to deal with this.
Young and Profiting (YAP) with Hala Taha
Sabrina Zohar: Thrive in Love and Business, A Masterclass on Dating and Relationships for Entrepreneurs | E324
And what happens is he ends up shooting himself in the foot because he can change that. He can heal through it. He can say something that would be an interesting topic is instead of asking somebody, what's your attachment style? Because some people would go, I don't know. I don't want to self-identify. The response and the question could be, how do you handle conflict?