Russell Howard
Appearances
SmartLess
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
Okay, okay.
SmartLess
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
Things evolve, my friend. We need a new word specifically for the podcast so that we can get through it. How about... Sockball?
SmartLess
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
That's a really good point, actually, isn't it? Because it means we don't have to wait to the quarterfinals for those kind of red-hot games. So the fact that Liverpool, like, we've got Real Madrid, so already I'm so excited. The idea that Bellingham and Mbappe, Vinicius Jr., I'll get to see them live. I met Bellingham. How cool is this, right? Okay. It was such an insane moment.
SmartLess
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
He saw me at Heathrow Airport and he asked me for a photo because when he was young, he was a fan of my TV show. And it just blew my mind. But my phone was going through the security. So I didn't get the opportunity to also have my photo with Jude Bellingham. So I told my friends and none of them believed me.
SmartLess
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
Yeah, but it was, you know, one of those moments where you meet somebody so impressive and it just happens in a kind of a blur. And I kind of got very formal. And when I met his mom, I was like, you know, I think I said... Mrs. Bellingham, lovely to meet you. I think I did. I went, Mrs. Bellingham, your son is an absolutely phenomenal footballer. You should be very proud.
SmartLess
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
I kind of, maybe that's what ruined it. Maybe he was like, I think he's cracking on to my mum, which I wasn't in any way. Any footballer who would you like to meet?
SmartLess
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
It would be weird. He's a terrifying guy. He's really funny as well. And he also has the look of a man who could break into a zoo and fight a gorilla. Do you know what I mean, Blake?
SmartLess
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
Again, it's a challenge. So we need to get a photo from Jude Bellingham and we need to find a way Zlatan, he's not busy, he's not playing. Let's get him into a zoo. Let's get the right gorilla and let's make that happen.
SmartLess
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
Do you know, I've never thought about the locks before. Of my nation. But you're right. I think Italian men have the best hair.
SmartLess
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
That's what the English are known for. We have bad teeth. But is it our hair as well? Is that what America thinks of us? That we have bad hair? Jack Grealish.
SmartLess
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
Yeah, he's probably fair. I was just thinking that some of our great footballers, except for Beckham, do look like they were kind of something happened in the laboratory with a potato. From SmartList Media, Meadowlark, Sirius, and Paramount+, listen to Goalless wherever you get your podcasts. The first episode premieres on September the 19th.
SmartLess
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
And I'm Russell Howard, a stand-up comedian from Great Britain. Welcome to Goalless. Of all the unimportant things in life, we're here for the most important, football.
SmartLess
YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham
Istanbul! Istanbul! For the best goals to the funniest player trolls, disastrous decisions to disastrous haircuts, Goalless is your new favorite football show by fans for fans.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
So I do love it, and it's so lush, and it's so green, and the people, there's a real, I don't know, it does have a different culture than we have, but it was just a delight.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Then I grew up, I spent 13 years in Arizona, and then Colorado. And then my parents moved to Texas. So I moved around a lot.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And probably that I dated a hockey player for half a second from Colorado. That's probably what you remember.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
So I was a dancer in – like with all my little dance friends in Colorado, you know, like –
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
pre-teen teenage years and that was my sport and that's all I did and a bunch of my friends went to like a giant casting call and we stood outside of like the Denver Convention Center with thousands of little kids and their moms or something and we just stood in line some dude like said hey do you want to read a little script of a mermaid brushing your teeth with chocolate or something
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I wanted to, I mean, I don't think I knew what it really was. I just went with a bunch of my... best friends, pals who were, you know, going. And they're like, let's go do this thing. And by the way, I can't sing. I had never really been an actor. And so they said, do a little dance, like do a skit and sing a little song.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And because I think they wanted kids who weren't so, yeah, they didn't like it.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Well... I think, well, number one, I don't work all the time. I like long breaks, and I spend a ton of time on my own. I like to be alone a lot. I have amazing friends. I have a group of core friends that I love, and we do stuff all the time. But other than that, I work. I have a ton of downtime. So, for instance, The Diplomat.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I'm not going off to do tons of movies in between or on a Broadway show or something. I don't. That's my time to just be home and, like, wander and read books. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what keeps me sane.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Teenage years. Yeah, teenage years. And this seriously is the truth. Whenever the girls looked like they were having sex, they were like, get that one out of here. And the boys stayed until they were like 25. They're like, that one, she's out.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
She looks like a breeder. Get her out. Yeah, she looks like a breeder. Yeah, get her out.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Yeah, but it was so fun. I mean, it was so cheesy looking back, but it was so fun.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Yeah, I mean, from that, like, because you're under this old school, like, Disney contract, I had to do some movie, like the sequel, Honey, I Blew Up the Kid, which was a sequel to Honey, I Blew Up the Kid.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
You know, it was like the old school system, like, we hired you under this umbrella, so if you record an album, if you make a movie, like, you are ours, you know?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
You know, like the kids now. Like all those... American Idol kids and whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or whatever all those new Disney shows are.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
First of all, the reason the show was so good was what JJ and Matt did. It was so sweet. It was like such a sweet little something of a show. And it was their writing that was so good. But yeah, for... Luckily, I can't imagine the kids now with all of the social media. Back then, it was just occasional paparazzi weirdos. But yeah, I am sort of a nervous person anyway around people I don't know.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Well, I mean, people were generally pretty nice to me, but I just think if you're an anxious person, it doesn't help like, yeah, having more people looking at you all the time. So I think that was something to sort of navigate a little bit. Um, but then it all worked out because after that show ended, I took a big break and I didn't, um, act anymore.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Well, I thought I was going to go back to – or go to school because I hadn't gone to school. Because I graduated early from high school because I was on the Mickey Mouse Club.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Yeah. Because when you're on the Mickey Mouse Club, like if you're a kid, you're tutored on set so you can finish as quickly as you can. Same with Mr. Bateman. Yeah, we know about that.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Yeah, so doing that show, that was back in the old days when we would do 22 episodes. Now, you know, the nature of television tends to be like eight or 13 episodes, but we were still doing network, 22 episodes. Especially back then, we were working, because Matt Reeves was one of our first directors and set up the show, we were shooting it like film. We were shooting on film in the beginning.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Really? Yeah. Shooting on film? Yeah. We were working 18-hour days, five days a week. So my Friday as a 21-year-old would end about 5 in the morning, and then I would start again at 5 on Monday. Wow. I loved that job, and it was great, and I'm so thankful. I'm still really close with a few of those people. But in many ways, it was life-arresting.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Like, I wanted to, you know, be with girlfriends and, you know, whatever, kiss boys, or, you know, like, do simple, stupid things that I knew I was sort of missing. So when it ended... I had no time to spend any money or do any of that. So I took the money I had saved and rented this amazing apartment, one bedroom apartment in the village, which was really great still back then.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And I had no furniture. I moved to New York with two giant boxes of books. I got mattresses. I put them on the floor and I did all those things I wanted to do. I had to...
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
really great girlfriends there and we would go out dancing and get drunk and like walk home drunk in the snow and we would watch The Bachelorette and eat shitty food and like I mean it was it was everything I wanted it to be and I got to just fucking be a kid and yeah that's great and I think that's what I wanted did you end up going to school uh I didn't so I thought that's what I was gonna do and that's probably what I should have done I still think about it um but I think I just sort of
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
did it myself. Like I just read what I wanted to read about and, and took all that time off. I took, I think a couple of years and then just slowly started inching my way back in. You know, I took a job where I wasn't the lead. I took, I was like a part of a family. And actually we shot in London with Mike Binder and I was just a part of these sisters and Joan Allen was the lead.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Yeah. And I was like, you know, she's cool and smart and classy. And if I can watch her, if she's managing her life okay, you know, maybe it's possible. And she was. And so then I slowly dipped back in.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Oh, God, I don't know. I think I just wanted to learn. I think I wanted to just go to school. I think I'm interested in every—I feel like I could do lots of things. Right. You know, I'm curious, you know, but I'm generally agreeable. You know, I'm curious about a lot.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Wait, wait, Jason, wait. Have you read, because I actually, speaking of the creepy kid actors, which by the way, all kid actors, the whole thing is so creepy. But there's this amazing book that someone gave me, which I loved. Are you familiar with Sarah Pauly at all?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Now she's a director, but, you know, kid actor. She wrote this book called Run Towards the Danger, which is a collection of stories. And it's sort of unraveling her time and the kind of understanding what that was all like. Of being a kid actor. Yeah. And a lot of other things.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
But I do think it affects you and speaks probably to a little bit of what Will is saying, like what he's seeing as like work ethic. But I just think when you're a kid actor, you know, you have to show up.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
You're not allowed to have the flu. Right. You're not allowed to... Yeah. You fucking show up and you do it and you, you know, you don't complain.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I wake up in the morning and I do something immediately. You know, I do hopefully like something outside, even if it's cold, some kind of physical activity really helps me. Even if I'm, you know, sometimes it just overtakes and you're like, fuck it, here I am. You know what really helped me?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
One of the first times, this is absolutely true, right at the beginning of Felicity Times, before I had ever had to do any of that stuff, I had to go on a talk show. My first talk show was, Rosie O'Donnell had a talk show back then. I think it was like a daytime talk show. Yeah, it was. I had never done anything like that. I kind of am a nervous person in that situation anyway. Oh, wow.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And it's like, it's a lot of energy coming toward you and the stage and all the people and blah, blah, blah. Yeah, yeah. I got back there and the stage manager is like, come over here, come over here. And I was like, uh-oh, uh-oh, it's overtaking me. Here it comes. And the stage manager must have told Rosie O'Donnell, who was so lovely, like she's nervous.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
So she came back and was like, hey, are you nervous? And I was like, oh, no, no. And so I went out. This is really absolutely true. I went out. She was being completely nice. But as I was answering questions going, yes, I'm from Colorado, a tear rolled.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I watched the interview. I'm smiling, and I just gently wipe it away. I'm from Colorado. I'm having a full panic. I go back to the hotel, which was, you know, they flew you to New York and did the whole thing. And I locked myself in the bathroom, and I was just mortified that I had done such a bad job and was so embarrassed. Wow. and beating up on myself.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And my awesome friend, Canadian friend, Will Arnett would love, we had gone out for drinks after or like maybe the next day. And I remember Alana said, I said, oh my God, I did such a bad job on this thing. You know, I was so bad. And she said, you know who I just saw on David Letterman? Kim Basinger was on David Letterman. And she was so nervous.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And I remember I liked her so much because I thought I would be nervous on that thing, too. It's very real. It made me, like, stop hating the nervousness about myself so much. And I went, I'm nervous. Like, what are you going to fucking do? Yeah. And people who are like so – no offense to everyone who's so funny and – but, you know, because you guys are all so good at it.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I mean, I know it's a way of life, but can you imagine? Yeah. Sending your kids?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Well, The Americans was just a... The writing was so... I have to say, even in the beginning, it was a slow burn. It was, you know, I really think the show became good about episode five in the first season. And then it started becoming this other thing, which was really this dark... kind of unravel of a marriage.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And I always thought the spy stuff was just a way to push and pull the marriage, like sleeping with other people.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Yeah, I didn't know. I was like, first of all, why do you want me like to play this like tough Russian spy? What? Don't you want like Rocky's wife, that like lady with the short blonde hair? Yeah. I'm like, me? What the fuck? I was like, oh, God. That's hysterical.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
It saved my life. It really did. So that was just lucky. Total luck just getting to do that show and then meeting Matthew and all of that. That was just good writing. So fun to be a part of something that was well-received. And then I took another long break. I feel like... That's what keeps me in it is I go in and out.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I take little pockets where then I'm just home doing laundry and, you know, seeing my friends and taking the kids to school.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
We had met, which he reminded me about, which I don't know if he told you guys on the show.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Yeah. We had gone to fight training or something in the first week. Well, you know, we screen tested everything, blah, blah, blah, did the fight training. And so I'd known him just like that, you know. And then we were having lunch after doing some kind of crazy fight training. And he said, we've met before. And I said, no. Yeah, I remember this. Yeah, we have.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And he said, we, you know, we were at that kickball party in Rustic Canyon. Yes. We were the last people at the barbecue or whatever. And I was trying to get you to stay. And so I was trying to open a beer without a beer. He tried to do it with his thumb. And I knew exactly. I said, oh, my God. God, of course I remember you left a drunk message on my machine. And I was moving to New York that day.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And so it had been 10 years had passed. And then, yeah, and then game was on.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Who knows, Sean? Okay, I'm trying to think. I'm trying to think. No, you don't have to answer.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Number one, you know, I don't ever want to go back to my 20s. I'm not saying... There are certain things about our bodies now as they're aging, but I like who I am so much more now. I look at my girlfriends, I think they are so beautiful now. I don't ever want to go back to 20s. I love our age now. And I think in our 30s or when I met him again,
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
which would have been in my mid-30s or about then, I just was a different person. You know what I mean? I was... And I wanted something different.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Well, JJ never wanted me to reveal my face. I never wanted to reveal the face. And then at a certain point, I think it was the studio or someone said, you have to show her face. And JJ was like, no, it's my whole idea. It's like, it was like that girl. There was some cartoon with a girl on a motorcycle from when he was a kid who always had a helmet on.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And then he was like, well, what if we just show her eyes? And so that was, but I think they wanted me to take the helmet off and
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
It's so stupid and crazy and nuts and Margo Martindale is... I mean, you guys, what she did, it's ridiculous and wild, and it was just an antidote to COVID and everyone being stuck in their houses.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Yeah, she just called me. She was pitching me this completely other... legit serious really good idea for this limited series and um you know we're just on with these writers and having these serious conversations and then text me the next day just says hey um or i've got this do you I'm talking this crazy movie called Cocaine Bear. Do you want to read it? I was like, sure.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And I told my girlfriends, I have these few girlfriends in New York here, and I was up in the mountains with them. And they said, I told them, I pitched them the idea for the story. And they said, if you don't do that movie, we're not going to be friends with you anymore.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And it was so fun. Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Margo Martindale, and I traipsing around Ireland out of control. We were out of control having the time of our lives. Why did you guys shoot in Ireland?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Because the COVID numbers were down. Right. And because it's an island, I guess. And because it's a good match for that forest we were looking for.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
When I read Cocaine Bear, that next day, she texted me, and it just says Margot, and she says, are you fucking doing this movie? I was like, are you fucking doing this movie?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I'm going to—we made our first—it's kind of chilly here in New York this morning, right? Yes. So, we made our first fire, and it was nice.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
My kids start school for the first day tomorrow, so I'm going to make a nice dinner, family dinner, early dinner for everyone, early to bed.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
We could have you. We could have you. We could have you. There's great restaurants.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
We will. I would love to see you. We have chance encounters from mutual people, satellite people, but I would love to see you. Okay.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Please, please, please. Please do. Please. I won't hesitate. I would love, love, love it. Okay. Bye, guys. Thank you. Bye. Thanks, Carrie. Bye, Stacey. Bye.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Hi. So nice to see you. It is so nice to see you. So nice to see all of you.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I just got home. I've been filming in London and I just got home just a few days ago. So I'm home getting kids ready for school. My teenagers helped me set all this stuff up. Oh, they did?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I'm jet lagged, but I really love the early mornings. So even though I'm still getting up at four, it's like such a quiet time in my house. So I love just like pitter-pottering around.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
It was that. Well, no, she's like a really intense teacher. She did like Al Pacino and stuff like that, right?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Good crazy. It was behind in her house. Not Venice, but like kind of adjacent Venice, right?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I have no idea. Maybe a movie or something that, I don't know. I mean, I did it like once or twice, probably.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Oh, so it was probably like just once or twice because a friend of mine was going, anyway. Yeah.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
So I've spent the past three summers filming there, which I know is, you know, a little bit of a unique existence. Like, you have a nice place to live, you know, you're working, you have a job. So there are a lot of things... That are extra nice, you know? It's not like you're... But it is... London in the summer is a delight. I mean, it is so, like, breathtakingly beautiful.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I tend to live north and, like, by the heath. And I wake up early morning and I just walk through the heath.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
And we've... I've loved it. I've really, really loved it. And actually... I don't think – well, I don't know. I don't think I'm telling tales out of school. But my last week there, we had this – so I'm on this show called The Diplomat, and it's about the ambassador in London who's – I'm friends with the real one, Ambassador Jane Hartley, who's just – Wow.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
amazing and smart and cool. And the last week she said, we were like, let's go to dinner before I leave. And so we went to the River Cafe and that great actor, fuck, what's his name? On the Bear, who plays the cousin, Eben.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Eben joined us and we just had this, like, it was just such a fun, raucous dinner. And Rufus Sewell, who's on my show too. And it's just full of love. everyone who was, everyone was at this restaurant that night. It was like one of those magic, wild moments. And so I love London.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
Well, I don't know because I wonder if it's, you know, I love coming back here too. You know, fall in New York is so good. And I ride my bike everywhere. Are you in New York now?
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
They like it. I mean, but they've kind of, like you guys probably, you know, they travel wherever we work. Right, yeah.
SmartLess
"Keri Russell"
I really love it. I really love it. But I have to say, you know, we shot there. When the strike happened, we had to make up for things, so we shot there over the winter. And it's different in the winter. Because New York in the winter, even if it's snowing or it's freezing, it can be sunny and it's bracing and you can still ride your bike. London's just gray all winter. But it's raining every day.