Rosabelle

Is that not the world's saddest man? Should we reenact these text messages? Yeah, please. Not free tonight? Nah, can you meet tomorrow afternoon? I'm down, what do you want to do?

Is that not the world's saddest man? Should we reenact these text messages? Yeah, please. Not free tonight? Nah, can you meet tomorrow afternoon? I'm down, what do you want to do?

I live right next to a park, that works. It's pretty hot.

I live right next to a park, that works. It's pretty hot.

He plays the bagpipes. That's cool. And flames come out. Flames come out. Oh, that's fun. The unipiper. I like that. Unconditional love for the Subaru Outback. Wow.

He plays the bagpipes. That's cool. And flames come out. Flames come out. Oh, that's fun. The unipiper. I like that. Unconditional love for the Subaru Outback. Wow.

It's like a whole parade.

It's like a whole parade.

Naked people.

Naked people.

We're the home to the smallest park in the world. Oh, that's cute.

We're the home to the smallest park in the world. Oh, that's cute.

Very goth. I like that. Crazy bird migration that spiral into a chimney every night of September. Jujet?

Very goth. I like that. Crazy bird migration that spiral into a chimney every night of September. Jujet?

Stickers. Everyone loves stickers, especially out on the street. We love color stickers here. Most cities' street art stickers are black and white. But we also have super citizens that paint over all of the signs. That's cool. I like a city of color.

Stickers. Everyone loves stickers, especially out on the street. We love color stickers here. Most cities' street art stickers are black and white. But we also have super citizens that paint over all of the signs. That's cool. I like a city of color.

All right, you can skip that question.

All right, you can skip that question.

And the Canadian beaver?

And the Canadian beaver?

It's a boy's trip still.

It's a boy's trip still.

Yeah, about 10 years ago, I came to Portland and went to Stephen Smith Tea Maker and did a flight of tea. Yeah. So when we came back, they reached out and... It's like, we have to do this. Yeah.

Yeah, about 10 years ago, I came to Portland and went to Stephen Smith Tea Maker and did a flight of tea. Yeah. So when we came back, they reached out and... It's like, we have to do this. Yeah.

So this is David in a hairnet.

So this is David in a hairnet.

And then really contaminating some more tea.

And then really contaminating some more tea.

Yeah, you suggested we find a barrel to bring on stage. I wanted to bring a barrel on stage. I don't think you know how heavy a barrel is. They're big.

Yeah, you suggested we find a barrel to bring on stage. I wanted to bring a barrel on stage. I don't think you know how heavy a barrel is. They're big.

Yeah, did you not do that in school in New Zealand?

Yeah, did you not do that in school in New Zealand?

Uh, filibustering. I don't know that word. I'm not quite sure how to describe it either. Filibustering?

Uh, filibustering. I don't know that word. I'm not quite sure how to describe it either. Filibustering?

We did trick my mom last night in the car and told her we were going to a strip club.

We did trick my mom last night in the car and told her we were going to a strip club.

And we've got one more thing before the show ends. One more thing before the show ends.

And we've got one more thing before the show ends. One more thing before the show ends.

Do you know what city we're in right now?

Do you know what city we're in right now?

What do you know about Portland?

What do you know about Portland?

What was your favorite thing that you've done so far here?

What was your favorite thing that you've done so far here?

What else do you know about Portland?

What else do you know about Portland?

What do you know about Bigfoot?

What do you know about Bigfoot?

What about beavers? Do you know anything about beavers?

What about beavers? Do you know anything about beavers?

Is there anything you want to say to people in Portland?

Is there anything you want to say to people in Portland?

I'm glad you pulled it up from that way. I don't know how you're going to do that.

I'm glad you pulled it up from that way. I don't know how you're going to do that.

That was me. And there's not... You can't go to Voodoo without...

That was me. And there's not... You can't go to Voodoo without...

We all know it. Well, so my mom was coming into town right as we were doing this. And we sent her a text. And I think she's learning right now that that was a penis donut.

We all know it. Well, so my mom was coming into town right as we were doing this. And we sent her a text. And I think she's learning right now that that was a penis donut.

We did this first in Seattle, and I feel like it was really tame. It was tame. It was tame. It got real weird in Portland.

We did this first in Seattle, and I feel like it was really tame. It was tame. It was tame. It got real weird in Portland.

I love... This happened to me. What? I had a neighbor bring dog shit into our recycling bin. He walked by his bins across the street and put it in our bin. That's fine. It was the recycling bin, though.

I love... This happened to me. What? I had a neighbor bring dog shit into our recycling bin. He walked by his bins across the street and put it in our bin. That's fine. It was the recycling bin, though.

This led Men's Health magazine to calling the Cheesecake Factory the worst family restaurant in America, while a scientific study found out that one of their chicken dishes had more calories than a 12-piece bucket of fried chicken from KFC. With all that in mind, it was time to visit the Cheesecake Factory.

This led Men's Health magazine to calling the Cheesecake Factory the worst family restaurant in America, while a scientific study found out that one of their chicken dishes had more calories than a 12-piece bucket of fried chicken from KFC. With all that in mind, it was time to visit the Cheesecake Factory.

I guess we have to save space for the cheesecake at the end, right?

I guess we have to save space for the cheesecake at the end, right?

I think I'm going to get that insane thing that you mentioned at the beginning. What was that?

I think I'm going to get that insane thing that you mentioned at the beginning. What was that?

No sour cream. That's an interesting move. Not a sour cream man. Not a nachos. I like my nachos pretty simple. I like my nachos soggy with sour cream and meat and cheese. I want them like dribbling out of my hands. Stay tuned for more Flightless Bird. We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors. Support for Flightless Bird comes from Symbiotica.

No sour cream. That's an interesting move. Not a sour cream man. Not a nachos. I like my nachos pretty simple. I like my nachos soggy with sour cream and meat and cheese. I want them like dribbling out of my hands. Stay tuned for more Flightless Bird. We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors. Support for Flightless Bird comes from Symbiotica.

Now, if there's anything I've learned so far this year, 2025, it's that small habits make a huge difference. Just getting up in the morning and doing some exercise has changed my outlook on the entire day, as has making my bed. I've also done away with some really bad habits, such as eating horribly sugary cereal every morning and That is out the door and I feel a lot better for it.

Now, if there's anything I've learned so far this year, 2025, it's that small habits make a huge difference. Just getting up in the morning and doing some exercise has changed my outlook on the entire day, as has making my bed. I've also done away with some really bad habits, such as eating horribly sugary cereal every morning and That is out the door and I feel a lot better for it.

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So let out that belt and prepare to put on some pounds, because this is the Cheesecake Factory episode. Rob.

So let out that belt and prepare to put on some pounds, because this is the Cheesecake Factory episode. Rob.

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That's symbiotica.com slash bird for 20% off your order plus free shipping. Support for Flightless Bird comes from Quince. Now, I don't know if you've noticed, but here in the US, spring is here, and that means it's time to maybe start thinking about some travel.

That's symbiotica.com slash bird for 20% off your order plus free shipping. Support for Flightless Bird comes from Quince. Now, I don't know if you've noticed, but here in the US, spring is here, and that means it's time to maybe start thinking about some travel.

As I record this, we are about to do some live Flightless Bird shows, which means I'm packing my suitcase, and I've realized it's time that I need a new first-class quality suitcase at an economy price, and I can get that from Quince.

As I record this, we are about to do some live Flightless Bird shows, which means I'm packing my suitcase, and I've realized it's time that I need a new first-class quality suitcase at an economy price, and I can get that from Quince.

Because vacation season is nearly upon us, and this year I'm treating myself to the luxe upgrades I deserve with Quince's high-quality travel essentials at fair prices. I'm looking at their website now, and I can see a carry-on suitcase that I really, really want. Quince also has lightweight shirts and shorts from $30, pants for any occasion, and comfortable lounge sets.

Because vacation season is nearly upon us, and this year I'm treating myself to the luxe upgrades I deserve with Quince's high-quality travel essentials at fair prices. I'm looking at their website now, and I can see a carry-on suitcase that I really, really want. Quince also has lightweight shirts and shorts from $30, pants for any occasion, and comfortable lounge sets.

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So yeah, as I said, I'm about to order one of their carry-on suitcases. They have a hard shell, which is really important because I travel with a bunch of podcast equipment. They have a TSA-approved lock. Yes, please. And of course, they've got 360-degree spinner wheels, so you can easily roll around that airport. And I'm going to get it in purple.

So yeah, as I said, I'm about to order one of their carry-on suitcases. They have a hard shell, which is really important because I travel with a bunch of podcast equipment. They have a TSA-approved lock. Yes, please. And of course, they've got 360-degree spinner wheels, so you can easily roll around that airport. And I'm going to get it in purple.

For your next trip, treat yourself to the luxe upgrades you deserve from Quince. Go to quince.com slash bird for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash bird to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash bird. How would you describe the decor of this place?

For your next trip, treat yourself to the luxe upgrades you deserve from Quince. Go to quince.com slash bird for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash bird to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash bird. How would you describe the decor of this place?

Because it's very sort of elaborate, but also tacky, but also I don't know what it's trying to evoke at all.

Because it's very sort of elaborate, but also tacky, but also I don't know what it's trying to evoke at all.

Thank you so much. God, these nachos, Rob, this is fucking insane.

Thank you so much. God, these nachos, Rob, this is fucking insane.

It's going to be amazing. I'm going to feel like death afterwards. I can fucking tell. I think it's sort of several bits fused together by cheese. cheese and slop and yeah it's very it's very flavorsome i mean it's it's a lot i also have the only green in here these like four lonely bits of asparagus that are fused into the cheese

It's going to be amazing. I'm going to feel like death afterwards. I can fucking tell. I think it's sort of several bits fused together by cheese. cheese and slop and yeah it's very it's very flavorsome i mean it's it's a lot i also have the only green in here these like four lonely bits of asparagus that are fused into the cheese

Yeah, I feel incredibly guilty if I don't finish a thing. And I also just feel like I want to get my money's worth. And if I'm paid for a full meal, somehow not eating it is like I'm wasting my money as well, which feels bad. It feels bad. So I've eaten what feels like a third of this meal. I am full. And so I can't do anything about that. But yeah, I feel it's sort of insulting.

Yeah, I feel incredibly guilty if I don't finish a thing. And I also just feel like I want to get my money's worth. And if I'm paid for a full meal, somehow not eating it is like I'm wasting my money as well, which feels bad. It feels bad. So I've eaten what feels like a third of this meal. I am full. And so I can't do anything about that. But yeah, I feel it's sort of insulting.

And you know, I've said this before, but I've put on weight since I've been here in America. And it is just from bigger portions and my inbuilt pressure to finish.

And you know, I've said this before, but I've put on weight since I've been here in America. And it is just from bigger portions and my inbuilt pressure to finish.

Also with the, I think both our meals, essentially it all tastes the same. Like most of this was like very, it's like a sea of the same. There's nothing changing. Every bite essentially tastes the same and that gets too much.

Also with the, I think both our meals, essentially it all tastes the same. Like most of this was like very, it's like a sea of the same. There's nothing changing. Every bite essentially tastes the same and that gets too much.

The Dream Extreme Cheesecake is a great name. And it's got Oreos in it, which are very American.

The Dream Extreme Cheesecake is a great name. And it's got Oreos in it, which are very American.

That's interesting. Right. What is like your first kind of thing that comes to the brain? Because I go big physical location and big, I think of like big heavy portions.

That's interesting. Right. What is like your first kind of thing that comes to the brain? Because I go big physical location and big, I think of like big heavy portions.

And I'm going to get the Oreo dream. Got it. I'll get those for you guys right away. Thank you. No, I've got to stop. I've got to stop. These free refills here get me. It's just you end up drinking so much sugar.

And I'm going to get the Oreo dream. Got it. I'll get those for you guys right away. Thank you. No, I've got to stop. I've got to stop. These free refills here get me. It's just you end up drinking so much sugar.

The Oreo Dream Extreme, and then the Ultimate Red Velvet Cheesecake. Thank you so much. You're wonderful. Rob, these are fucking big. There's something that I forgot about, and that is that this is rich. It's not just sweet, it's rich.

The Oreo Dream Extreme, and then the Ultimate Red Velvet Cheesecake. Thank you so much. You're wonderful. Rob, these are fucking big. There's something that I forgot about, and that is that this is rich. It's not just sweet, it's rich.

We've got cheesecake. It's not a hugely popular dish. It's not common at all, and it's certainly not a factory that deals just in cheesecake.

We've got cheesecake. It's not a hugely popular dish. It's not common at all, and it's certainly not a factory that deals just in cheesecake.

I want to say for the record that my gran also made a really good simple cheesecake and rest her soul. Monica, it was the best cheesecake in the world. It was so good. Except for your grands, maybe.

I want to say for the record that my gran also made a really good simple cheesecake and rest her soul. Monica, it was the best cheesecake in the world. It was so good. Except for your grands, maybe.

Those are two really good dishes.

Those are two really good dishes.

What was your grand's first name? We called her Grandma Lala. Oh, so cute. Loretta was her name. Oh, Grandma Lala. Monica was my grandma.

What was your grand's first name? We called her Grandma Lala. Oh, so cute. Loretta was her name. Oh, Grandma Lala. Monica was my grandma.

I have no idea. I couldn't do the maths on that. She was very old when she died. Yeah, mine was born in like 1912. One of my biggest regrets about my gran and my grandpa, on both sides, was that I didn't quiz them enough about their lives. And I'm trying to remember this one with my parents. It's like you do this weird thing where you don't quiz them enough about, like...

I have no idea. I couldn't do the maths on that. She was very old when she died. Yeah, mine was born in like 1912. One of my biggest regrets about my gran and my grandpa, on both sides, was that I didn't quiz them enough about their lives. And I'm trying to remember this one with my parents. It's like you do this weird thing where you don't quiz them enough about, like...

The really interesting part of their lives, which is the stuff you don't know when they're kids and stuff.

The really interesting part of their lives, which is the stuff you don't know when they're kids and stuff.

That's such a good idea. And for anyone actually wanting to do this, including myself, any tips on how to do it? Because everyone's always like, do I sit down and make this a really official recording? Do I just make it on my phone? How did you do it?

That's such a good idea. And for anyone actually wanting to do this, including myself, any tips on how to do it? Because everyone's always like, do I sit down and make this a really official recording? Do I just make it on my phone? How did you do it?

No, you wanted to guide it to specific places to learn about specific things.

No, you wanted to guide it to specific places to learn about specific things.

Did it make you see your dad in a different way? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And also cool having Calvin chipping in with his no doubt, like quite specific, like, you know, kids have such a remarkable way of thinking because they're not locked into all our weird adult shit.

Did it make you see your dad in a different way? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And also cool having Calvin chipping in with his no doubt, like quite specific, like, you know, kids have such a remarkable way of thinking because they're not locked into all our weird adult shit.

I kind of want to see him doing that with a big political guest or a celebrity. Just, you know, if they don't keep him interested, he's just going to fall asleep. Yeah. There was that Tim Robinson sketch where he was interviewing people and he'd just be on his phone, just so painfully bored. And it reminds me a lot of that. Okay, Cheesecake Factory.

I kind of want to see him doing that with a big political guest or a celebrity. Just, you know, if they don't keep him interested, he's just going to fall asleep. Yeah. There was that Tim Robinson sketch where he was interviewing people and he'd just be on his phone, just so painfully bored. And it reminds me a lot of that. Okay, Cheesecake Factory.

Nicer than beautiful decor and a location, or the food was like a beautiful meal that you'd take a date on. Yeah.

Nicer than beautiful decor and a location, or the food was like a beautiful meal that you'd take a date on. Yeah.

My memories of that day are mainly feeling very taken out afterwards. I was exhausted. When you can feel your body battling to digest and absorb that stuff that you've just put in.

My memories of that day are mainly feeling very taken out afterwards. I was exhausted. When you can feel your body battling to digest and absorb that stuff that you've just put in.

I just remember the solid mess of chicken, potato, and cheese with these four mushrooms all fused into what I would call sort of a blob or a glob.

I just remember the solid mess of chicken, potato, and cheese with these four mushrooms all fused into what I would call sort of a blob or a glob.

Yeah, but nachos, you could tiptoe around a little bit, you know? This was just...

Yeah, but nachos, you could tiptoe around a little bit, you know? This was just...

Yeah. No, I like your technique. I like your technique. And the cheesecake, my triple Oreo, whatever, it was too much. It was sweet and rich and big, which, you know, I think usually was something I feel like if it's incredibly rich, make it a bit smaller. Or if it's like incredibly sweet, again, make it smaller. Having big, rich, and sweet is a crazy combo to have.

Yeah. No, I like your technique. I like your technique. And the cheesecake, my triple Oreo, whatever, it was too much. It was sweet and rich and big, which, you know, I think usually was something I feel like if it's incredibly rich, make it a bit smaller. Or if it's like incredibly sweet, again, make it smaller. Having big, rich, and sweet is a crazy combo to have.

And I'm pretty greedy, and I'm pretty... I like my sugar, and I still found it, like, too much. That's very surprising to hear from you.

And I'm pretty greedy, and I'm pretty... I like my sugar, and I still found it, like, too much. That's very surprising to hear from you.

As a red velvet lover, the Cheesecake Factory does a good one.

As a red velvet lover, the Cheesecake Factory does a good one.

Yeah. Okay, so I was reading up on the Cheesecake Factory, and I wanted to go through a few things I learned. The artwork and decor was incredibly striking in there.

Yeah. Okay, so I was reading up on the Cheesecake Factory, and I wanted to go through a few things I learned. The artwork and decor was incredibly striking in there.

And I will say this for the record. I think it's why I'm drawn to these slightly horrific places like McDonald's and Starbucks. It's because when you walk in, Duncan, there is a certain... No matter where you are in the country, you might be out on the road and feeling a little bit like you're missing home. You can walk into a place and it's like, this is just like my local.

And I will say this for the record. I think it's why I'm drawn to these slightly horrific places like McDonald's and Starbucks. It's because when you walk in, Duncan, there is a certain... No matter where you are in the country, you might be out on the road and feeling a little bit like you're missing home. You can walk into a place and it's like, this is just like my local.

And there is something both... awful about that kind of franchising of things, but also quite nice. And I've fallen into, I think, that cursed American thing of being like, there's an element in me that's like, yeah, the chain.

And there is something both... awful about that kind of franchising of things, but also quite nice. And I've fallen into, I think, that cursed American thing of being like, there's an element in me that's like, yeah, the chain.

And it's, to be clear, it's fucking weird. Yeah. Like, it's really deeply unusual. You're kind of in a forest. Yeah, and the Eye of Sauron was a good observation. There is that. So I read up on this a little bit. I'll see if this helps at all. So this is from their website, which is now archived. So this is from the Wayback Machine. It's not currently on their site.

And it's, to be clear, it's fucking weird. Yeah. Like, it's really deeply unusual. You're kind of in a forest. Yeah, and the Eye of Sauron was a good observation. There is that. So I read up on this a little bit. I'll see if this helps at all. So this is from their website, which is now archived. So this is from the Wayback Machine. It's not currently on their site.

I mean, the White House and their website changes. Incredible. So part of the Cheesecake Factory experience is enjoying our distinctive decor. So they know that it's out there. This is where we add our color and fun, from the Egyptian columns and hand-blown lighting fixtures to the dark cherry wood and brass accents.

I mean, the White House and their website changes. Incredible. So part of the Cheesecake Factory experience is enjoying our distinctive decor. So they know that it's out there. This is where we add our color and fun, from the Egyptian columns and hand-blown lighting fixtures to the dark cherry wood and brass accents.

A common theme found throughout the Cheesecake Factory are our murals, and they're created by Mary DeStewis. I'll be saying that incorrectly, but it's my best bet. A former manager who launched the trend of at our Redondo Beach location in 88. So that's where the murals came from.

A common theme found throughout the Cheesecake Factory are our murals, and they're created by Mary DeStewis. I'll be saying that incorrectly, but it's my best bet. A former manager who launched the trend of at our Redondo Beach location in 88. So that's where the murals came from.

Ah, amazing. These distinct murals add panache. You don't hear panache very often.

Ah, amazing. These distinct murals add panache. You don't hear panache very often.

Yeah, it's been around for a very long time. So rewind from that. This is from thedailymeal.com. The key designer who did all the batshit stuff came on board in 1992. So that was four years after the Redondo Beach location opened. And he did all that, as this site says, wacky as heck decor. So blame it all on Rick McCormick, who is a veteran designer.

Yeah, it's been around for a very long time. So rewind from that. This is from thedailymeal.com. The key designer who did all the batshit stuff came on board in 1992. So that was four years after the Redondo Beach location opened. And he did all that, as this site says, wacky as heck decor. So blame it all on Rick McCormick, who is a veteran designer.

But it felt like a classy outing.

But it felt like a classy outing.

If your instinct is, what do any of these things have to do with cheesecake? The answer is absolutely nothing. It turns out they were just items their designer and the CEO thought were cool. So it's that simple. It's that simple. I guess good on them. McCormick himself admits the style might not sound good if you've never experienced it yourself.

If your instinct is, what do any of these things have to do with cheesecake? The answer is absolutely nothing. It turns out they were just items their designer and the CEO thought were cool. So it's that simple. It's that simple. I guess good on them. McCormick himself admits the style might not sound good if you've never experienced it yourself.

um telling the website if i try to describe to you what it looks like you'd probably think it was one of the most horrible looking places around so he gets it we should try promoting our podcast like that to people out in the world i'm like this idea sounds terrible it sounds terrible if you like if you go if you listen you'll like it you'll like it from the outside it sounds awful it's like two white guys talking to each other for ages awful

um telling the website if i try to describe to you what it looks like you'd probably think it was one of the most horrible looking places around so he gets it we should try promoting our podcast like that to people out in the world i'm like this idea sounds terrible it sounds terrible if you like if you go if you listen you'll like it you'll like it from the outside it sounds awful it's like two white guys talking to each other for ages awful

So this Daily Meal article goes on to say, no two Cheesecake Factory locations are exactly the same, but they all share a riot of influences from Egypt to Victorian England to areas in Central Europe. And according to an old interview that McCormick did, the Egyptian style was mainly because Overton always thought Egyptian stuff looked cool. And he was the CEO I mentioned earlier.

So this Daily Meal article goes on to say, no two Cheesecake Factory locations are exactly the same, but they all share a riot of influences from Egypt to Victorian England to areas in Central Europe. And according to an old interview that McCormick did, the Egyptian style was mainly because Overton always thought Egyptian stuff looked cool. And he was the CEO I mentioned earlier.

So that's why it looks like it is. They just thought it was cool.

So that's why it looks like it is. They just thought it was cool.

There's 20 people around the table.

There's 20 people around the table.

Yeah. He's like, Egypt, have you seen it? Look at this photo. It's amazing. Yeah. Europe, Victorian England. Let's do it all. Yeah. It's very American. You just like grabbing a bunch of other influencers and like branding it as your own thing.

Yeah. He's like, Egypt, have you seen it? Look at this photo. It's amazing. Yeah. Europe, Victorian England. Let's do it all. Yeah. It's very American. You just like grabbing a bunch of other influencers and like branding it as your own thing.

A Chicago pizza place.

A Chicago pizza place.

No, I think I felt comfortable and at home in there. I saw many different people dining and they all seemed to be having a good time. I've also learned recently that they cut 13 items last month from their menu, but they've added 23 more. So you thought that menu was going to get down to 18 pages? It's probably up to about 21 now. I thought that was quite good.

No, I think I felt comfortable and at home in there. I saw many different people dining and they all seemed to be having a good time. I've also learned recently that they cut 13 items last month from their menu, but they've added 23 more. So you thought that menu was going to get down to 18 pages? It's probably up to about 21 now. I thought that was quite good.

We're doing an episode about the Cheesecake Factory and I'm wondering what you can tell me about the Cheesecake Factory.

We're doing an episode about the Cheesecake Factory and I'm wondering what you can tell me about the Cheesecake Factory.

Oh, like it's like two pages of cheesecake flavors. Insane. I'm sure there's some blogger out there that's gone through and had like one bite of every cheesecake, but we'll live our lives and we won't have all that cheesecake.

Oh, like it's like two pages of cheesecake flavors. Insane. I'm sure there's some blogger out there that's gone through and had like one bite of every cheesecake, but we'll live our lives and we won't have all that cheesecake.

Okay. I'm intrigued already. You'll still say things and I'm like, what the hell is that? I think I've come so far, but I've got so far to go.

Okay. I'm intrigued already. You'll still say things and I'm like, what the hell is that? I think I've come so far, but I've got so far to go.

It does sound like I've just laid it down right now. I think you should make it... No, I'm trying to keep my cholesterol under control. I can't give myself a challenge like that.

It does sound like I've just laid it down right now. I think you should make it... No, I'm trying to keep my cholesterol under control. I can't give myself a challenge like that.

You can have the other half.

You can have the other half.

for the next year I wonder if by the end of that year I would come to love cheesecake more or if I would be like I can't deal with any more of this I feel like it'd be moderate enough if it's like you're having three or four bites only don't do the whole thing no half might even be too much yeah I think I got through about a third of my Oreo.

for the next year I wonder if by the end of that year I would come to love cheesecake more or if I would be like I can't deal with any more of this I feel like it'd be moderate enough if it's like you're having three or four bites only don't do the whole thing no half might even be too much yeah I think I got through about a third of my Oreo.

I had a birthday cake one year and it was really big and I put it in the freezer and I just like chip away at it during the year.

I had a birthday cake one year and it was really big and I put it in the freezer and I just like chip away at it during the year.

It's frozen. Yeah. You can freeze a cake and it's still pretty good. Stay tuned for more Flightless Bird. We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors. Support for Flightless Bird comes from Mint Mobile. Now, do you say data or data? Data? Data. Hmm. Well, in my house, we say data. That's the New Zealand way.

It's frozen. Yeah. You can freeze a cake and it's still pretty good. Stay tuned for more Flightless Bird. We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors. Support for Flightless Bird comes from Mint Mobile. Now, do you say data or data? Data? Data. Hmm. Well, in my house, we say data. That's the New Zealand way.

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Okay, so some history of the Cheesecake Factory, just so we cover up all these facts. Oscar and Evelyn Overton, their dreams to create a successful business. And it was in the late 1940s that she opened a small cheesecake shop in Detroit. That's where it all started. In order to raise her two small children, Dave and Renee, Evelyn chose to put off her dream and gave up the shop.

Okay, so some history of the Cheesecake Factory, just so we cover up all these facts. Oscar and Evelyn Overton, their dreams to create a successful business. And it was in the late 1940s that she opened a small cheesecake shop in Detroit. That's where it all started. In order to raise her two small children, Dave and Renee, Evelyn chose to put off her dream and gave up the shop.

She moved her baking to a kitchen in her basement and continued to supply cakes to several of the best local restaurants. In 71, with the kids out of the house and her and her husband now in their early 50s, they decided to move their cheesecake business out of the basement and to Los Angeles. And there in LA, they opened a 700 square foot store, the Cheesecake Factory.

She moved her baking to a kitchen in her basement and continued to supply cakes to several of the best local restaurants. In 71, with the kids out of the house and her and her husband now in their early 50s, they decided to move their cheesecake business out of the basement and to Los Angeles. And there in LA, they opened a 700 square foot store, the Cheesecake Factory.

That's where it all started, 70s. And from there, it just got bigger and bigger, and they franchised, and now it's everywhere.

That's where it all started, 70s. And from there, it just got bigger and bigger, and they franchised, and now it's everywhere.

I am a big mall enthusiast, by the way. This mall, was it flat and large or was it a multi-leveled kind of a deal?

I am a big mall enthusiast, by the way. This mall, was it flat and large or was it a multi-leveled kind of a deal?

Yeah. Yeah, there is that drive, and I think... I'm wondering how that is sort of encoded into your DNA, because I feel like... Yeah, I'd be happy with that shop. It's like, oh my God, I run this thing. But here it's like expand, get more, get bigger.

Yeah. Yeah, there is that drive, and I think... I'm wondering how that is sort of encoded into your DNA, because I feel like... Yeah, I'd be happy with that shop. It's like, oh my God, I run this thing. But here it's like expand, get more, get bigger.

The small thing. Yeah. That's interesting, isn't it? Because my idea of that feeling like a good idea is it's like... wanting to... Maybe it is that. It's wanting to spread it. Get it to more people. Get it to different audiences that shouldn't have it already. And that's maybe what it's like spreading Cheesecake Factory around.

The small thing. Yeah. That's interesting, isn't it? Because my idea of that feeling like a good idea is it's like... wanting to... Maybe it is that. It's wanting to spread it. Get it to more people. Get it to different audiences that shouldn't have it already. And that's maybe what it's like spreading Cheesecake Factory around.

wanting to go eat at that place because i also think if you if i wasn't doing the show with you like you know this about me like you have had to prod me to do things like when you're talking about going on youtube i think my original response was like oh you know youtubers kind of i was just like like shooting with camera lights being visuals it just seems so hard and this whole time and same with the live shows like you like let's do live shows my initial reaction was

wanting to go eat at that place because i also think if you if i wasn't doing the show with you like you know this about me like you have had to prod me to do things like when you're talking about going on youtube i think my original response was like oh you know youtubers kind of i was just like like shooting with camera lights being visuals it just seems so hard and this whole time and same with the live shows like you like let's do live shows my initial reaction was

this seems hard and scary and you were like no it's fun and it can be better and more like different layers to what the show is so that's your americanness like prodding my sort of dragging my kiwi corpse along and like pushing me on stage but i've appreciated it it's like i wouldn't do that without you All right, maybe I'm slowly learning the American ways. Okay, what else did I learn?

this seems hard and scary and you were like no it's fun and it can be better and more like different layers to what the show is so that's your americanness like prodding my sort of dragging my kiwi corpse along and like pushing me on stage but i've appreciated it it's like i wouldn't do that without you All right, maybe I'm slowly learning the American ways. Okay, what else did I learn?

I came across a sort of a horrible side dish of a story. New Jersey Cheesecake Factory workers OD'd were playing Russian roulette was the headline.

I came across a sort of a horrible side dish of a story. New Jersey Cheesecake Factory workers OD'd were playing Russian roulette was the headline.

No, so the Russian roulette was talking about how they were doing a lot of cocaine. And I just thought this was another very American thing because if you do cocaine in America, my understanding is big chance it's laced with fentanyl. And that's how they overdosed. I don't mean to bring the tone down, but I just thought, what an American thing. These happy Cheesecake Factory workers.

No, so the Russian roulette was talking about how they were doing a lot of cocaine. And I just thought this was another very American thing because if you do cocaine in America, my understanding is big chance it's laced with fentanyl. And that's how they overdosed. I don't mean to bring the tone down, but I just thought, what an American thing. These happy Cheesecake Factory workers.

Doing coke and eating cheesecake. Doing coke and cheesecake and then just fentanyl and everything at the moment, which is probably yet another topic we should dive into at some point. Another sort of awful story, but incredible headline that I related to and just how I felt after I'd eaten there, my heart literally exploded on a date at the Cheesecake Factory. Pretty good headline.

Doing coke and eating cheesecake. Doing coke and cheesecake and then just fentanyl and everything at the moment, which is probably yet another topic we should dive into at some point. Another sort of awful story, but incredible headline that I related to and just how I felt after I'd eaten there, my heart literally exploded on a date at the Cheesecake Factory. Pretty good headline.

This is from December 24, when Stephanie Anderson went on a dinner date with a potential new partner. I like how they phrase that. Who else are you going to go on a date with? She never expected that her heart would literally explode. And I should say this is from the Daily Mail, which isn't the classiest newspaper.

This is from December 24, when Stephanie Anderson went on a dinner date with a potential new partner. I like how they phrase that. Who else are you going to go on a date with? She never expected that her heart would literally explode. And I should say this is from the Daily Mail, which isn't the classiest newspaper.

Some podcaster came across it and was like, I'm going to read this. The 39-year-old met up with the man she was seeing at the Cheesecake Factory in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Some podcaster came across it and was like, I'm going to read this. The 39-year-old met up with the man she was seeing at the Cheesecake Factory in Salt Lake City, Utah.

She's seeing him. When she began expecting intense pain in her jaw. She initially brushed it off, but as the pair waited on that cheesecake, the pain began spreading to her collarbone, growing worse by the minute. The mother of three was in agony when her date rang the emergency services for help.

She's seeing him. When she began expecting intense pain in her jaw. She initially brushed it off, but as the pair waited on that cheesecake, the pain began spreading to her collarbone, growing worse by the minute. The mother of three was in agony when her date rang the emergency services for help.

paramedics arrived and discovered that the biggest artery from her heart had ruptured, causing the blood to stop pumping around her body. She was rushed to emergency open-heart surgery. They removed the damaged blood vessel and replaced it with a synthetic tube.

paramedics arrived and discovered that the biggest artery from her heart had ruptured, causing the blood to stop pumping around her body. She was rushed to emergency open-heart surgery. They removed the damaged blood vessel and replaced it with a synthetic tube.

I would summarize this by saying it's the ultimate clickbait because it didn't really have anything to do with the fact she was eating like cheesecake. It was purely a location and someone thought we can turn this into a story. But I wanted to give shout out to that headline because it got your attention. It got my attention and did feel pretty intense eating there.

I would summarize this by saying it's the ultimate clickbait because it didn't really have anything to do with the fact she was eating like cheesecake. It was purely a location and someone thought we can turn this into a story. But I wanted to give shout out to that headline because it got your attention. It got my attention and did feel pretty intense eating there.

I just wanted to follow that up with what I mentioned in the intro to this episode. Back in 2014, it was deemed the unhealthiest US eatery. A watchdog group called the Center for Science in the Public Interest has named the chain as the winner of the Extreme Eating Survey. noting that three of the country's nine most calorie-heavy dishes are served at the Cheesecake Factory.

I just wanted to follow that up with what I mentioned in the intro to this episode. Back in 2014, it was deemed the unhealthiest US eatery. A watchdog group called the Center for Science in the Public Interest has named the chain as the winner of the Extreme Eating Survey. noting that three of the country's nine most calorie-heavy dishes are served at the Cheesecake Factory.

I mean, should we give them credit for that? The fact they did it, they're not trying to hide it.

I mean, should we give them credit for that? The fact they did it, they're not trying to hide it.

You must tell people what you're putting in.

You must tell people what you're putting in.

a requirement it is a thing now now which is friggin good yeah uh the offenders included its brulee french toast which serves up almost 2800 calories and 93 grams of saturated fat which is not good fat the other dish uh is it's i'm gonna say this wrong i'm not a foodie farfalle F-A-R-F-A-L-L-E. Falafel? No, different.

a requirement it is a thing now now which is friggin good yeah uh the offenders included its brulee french toast which serves up almost 2800 calories and 93 grams of saturated fat which is not good fat the other dish uh is it's i'm gonna say this wrong i'm not a foodie farfalle F-A-R-F-A-L-L-E. Falafel? No, different.

Anyway, something with chicken and roasted garlic includes 2,400 calories, while a slice of Reese's peanut butter chocolate cheesecake has 1,500 calories. So yeah, some of the dishes there, not the healthiest. Although you can just do what you did and not eat all of it.

Anyway, something with chicken and roasted garlic includes 2,400 calories, while a slice of Reese's peanut butter chocolate cheesecake has 1,500 calories. So yeah, some of the dishes there, not the healthiest. Although you can just do what you did and not eat all of it.

Cheesecake is its healthiest meal.

Cheesecake is its healthiest meal.

Everything else there, not so much. And that concludes my Cheesecake Factory fact-finding mission. Any other takeaways from your dining experience? Anything else people should know about the Cheesecake Factory? I think we covered. I would say just like extensive menu started with cheesecake, expanded into everything else when they opened up in Los Angeles from that little basement store.

Everything else there, not so much. And that concludes my Cheesecake Factory fact-finding mission. Any other takeaways from your dining experience? Anything else people should know about the Cheesecake Factory? I think we covered. I would say just like extensive menu started with cheesecake, expanded into everything else when they opened up in Los Angeles from that little basement store.

And now, actually, I have one question for you. You sort of talk about that mall. And the different restaurants there, where would Cheesecake Factory sit on a I want to impress my date or give my family a really good time when you've got a P.F. Chang's, a Cheesecake Factory, those other places you listed?

And now, actually, I have one question for you. You sort of talk about that mall. And the different restaurants there, where would Cheesecake Factory sit on a I want to impress my date or give my family a really good time when you've got a P.F. Chang's, a Cheesecake Factory, those other places you listed?

Cause in New Zealand, we have giant vegetables everywhere. Like in every like, no, and including a giant carrot. It's like a thing. So I just imagined that in my mind.

Cause in New Zealand, we have giant vegetables everywhere. Like in every like, no, and including a giant carrot. It's like a thing. So I just imagined that in my mind.

Well, I had a really nice time there with you. Our server was lovely. They seated us quickly and efficiently. It was very busy in there. And I will say their bathrooms, much like the restaurant, they were big in there. I walked in there and it was expansive in there.

Well, I had a really nice time there with you. Our server was lovely. They seated us quickly and efficiently. It was very busy in there. And I will say their bathrooms, much like the restaurant, they were big in there. I walked in there and it was expansive in there.

Didn't have to wait for a stall.

Didn't have to wait for a stall.

I'm going to consider your pitch of eating one of every cheesecake. I'm also thinking I'm going to go and see a movie at that mall again soon. And I think I probably, if I get there early, I wouldn't say no to having dinner there beforehand. I liked it. But not the meal I had. I would try something else.

I'm going to consider your pitch of eating one of every cheesecake. I'm also thinking I'm going to go and see a movie at that mall again soon. And I think I probably, if I get there early, I wouldn't say no to having dinner there beforehand. I liked it. But not the meal I had. I would try something else.

The admin's a mission. Yeah. Yeah, it's not an easy... It's in this big mall. Parking's horrible. So if someone wants to bring David Cheesecake to... Yeah, flightlessbreadchat at gmail.com if you want to deliver me one cheesecake. Once a week. A deranged fan of the podcast. Okay, while we're on... A food theme before we get into feedback. We talked about, I saw him back there.

The admin's a mission. Yeah. Yeah, it's not an easy... It's in this big mall. Parking's horrible. So if someone wants to bring David Cheesecake to... Yeah, flightlessbreadchat at gmail.com if you want to deliver me one cheesecake. Once a week. A deranged fan of the podcast. Okay, while we're on... A food theme before we get into feedback. We talked about, I saw him back there.

Um, we talked a lot about Vegemite and Marmite. I got this when I was given this, um, in Australia and I thought you should try some. So I've got a spoon. Do they not have it here? They do, but it's hard to get. And it was a gift. So people know that I love this stuff. And it was like, they knew I would love it.

Um, we talked a lot about Vegemite and Marmite. I got this when I was given this, um, in Australia and I thought you should try some. So I've got a spoon. Do they not have it here? They do, but it's hard to get. And it was a gift. So people know that I love this stuff. And it was like, they knew I would love it.

There are certain stores, like it's sort of, I feel like I've seen it once at the Grove, which is this like fancy mall, like the fanciest food store had it in their international food section. You can probably get it on fucking Amazon or something, you know, but this was given with love of giving it to you with love. So what I've done, I've got a spoon.

There are certain stores, like it's sort of, I feel like I've seen it once at the Grove, which is this like fancy mall, like the fanciest food store had it in their international food section. You can probably get it on fucking Amazon or something, you know, but this was given with love of giving it to you with love. So what I've done, I've got a spoon.

You can raw dog it and just have a spoonful and, Or I stopped by, because you're American, I thought to sort of, you know, make things a bit more palatable, I bought a Dunkin' Donut. And I thought you could also rub some on the top of a Dunkin' Donut.

You can raw dog it and just have a spoonful and, Or I stopped by, because you're American, I thought to sort of, you know, make things a bit more palatable, I bought a Dunkin' Donut. And I thought you could also rub some on the top of a Dunkin' Donut.

It's savory.

It's savory.

What kind of a donut did you get? So, I got you two options of donuts. Oh, you got me... Okay. I got you a spoon. And I would suggest just getting a spoonful instead of rubbing a bit on.

What kind of a donut did you get? So, I got you two options of donuts. Oh, you got me... Okay. I got you a spoon. And I would suggest just getting a spoonful instead of rubbing a bit on.

Just have a sniff of it.

Just have a sniff of it.

So I would typically in the morning have a bit of toast, layer of butter, and then I spread the Vegemite pretty evenly, but it's okay if it's a bit chunky. And that is how David Farrier starts his day.

So I would typically in the morning have a bit of toast, layer of butter, and then I spread the Vegemite pretty evenly, but it's okay if it's a bit chunky. And that is how David Farrier starts his day.

This isn't about how I tunnel in and don't clean my knife.

This isn't about how I tunnel in and don't clean my knife.

Some would say too much.

Some would say too much.

Yeah, super salty tasting. Yeah, it's okay. That seems okay for you. It's not great. Would you spread it on a bit of toast?

Yeah, super salty tasting. Yeah, it's okay. That seems okay for you. It's not great. Would you spread it on a bit of toast?

To be fair, that's not how it should be eaten. It should be on toast. It's not awful. Okay. Vegemite. It's not awful. Well, you're more Kiwi slash Australian now, and I'm proud of you. And you're just going to have a little bit of water there to wash that down. I'm proud of you, Rob.

To be fair, that's not how it should be eaten. It should be on toast. It's not awful. Okay. Vegemite. It's not awful. Well, you're more Kiwi slash Australian now, and I'm proud of you. And you're just going to have a little bit of water there to wash that down. I'm proud of you, Rob.

No, it was way too much. No, it's sort of like you generally would give a very light spread on a bit of toast because it is such a strong flavor. So you legitimately, Rob, you did really well just then, but I wasn't going to hold you back. And I think you're being very polite about it all. Okay. A bit of feedback.

No, it was way too much. No, it's sort of like you generally would give a very light spread on a bit of toast because it is such a strong flavor. So you legitimately, Rob, you did really well just then, but I wasn't going to hold you back. And I think you're being very polite about it all. Okay. A bit of feedback.

Akino wrote in, I mentioned I can't remember on what episode about the embarrassment of going to a supermarket to buy toilet paper.

Akino wrote in, I mentioned I can't remember on what episode about the embarrassment of going to a supermarket to buy toilet paper.

I was embarrassed about buying Vaseline and toilet paper.

I was embarrassed about buying Vaseline and toilet paper.

Sounds delicious.

Sounds delicious.

Okay, my anxiety agrees with you, David, and I'll admit I laughed at the idea of you getting nervous about your toilet paper purchase. After listening to the episode, I witnessed a man leaving a convenience store holding nothing but one singular roll of toilet paper, and that was it. I was shocked. I think that's much worse than buying a pack of toilet paper. It's just buying that singular roll.

Okay, my anxiety agrees with you, David, and I'll admit I laughed at the idea of you getting nervous about your toilet paper purchase. After listening to the episode, I witnessed a man leaving a convenience store holding nothing but one singular roll of toilet paper, and that was it. I was shocked. I think that's much worse than buying a pack of toilet paper. It's just buying that singular roll.

David, I hope that one day you and I will feel half as confident as that glorious man leaving the convenience store holding one roll of toilet paper.

David, I hope that one day you and I will feel half as confident as that glorious man leaving the convenience store holding one roll of toilet paper.

Not at all. I've never heard of it. There's so many new things coming at me right now.

Not at all. I've never heard of it. There's so many new things coming at me right now.

Respect. Sam said the subject line, thank you for solving a 20 year mystery for me. So of course that's a great subject line I read on. Due to life being life, I was about 18 months behind on Flight of the Spirit episodes. I marathoned them through last month. It was a fun journey. Enjoyed hearing Rob more. Shouldn't have read that bit out. Your ego is just going to go through the roof.

Respect. Sam said the subject line, thank you for solving a 20 year mystery for me. So of course that's a great subject line I read on. Due to life being life, I was about 18 months behind on Flight of the Spirit episodes. I marathoned them through last month. It was a fun journey. Enjoyed hearing Rob more. Shouldn't have read that bit out. Your ego is just going to go through the roof.

While catching up, I heard a lot of your ads for sweaters, specifically David mentioning that New Zealand calls them jerseys. And last week, inner city pressure by Flight of the Conchords came up on my playlist, and a line that's always confused me immediately made sense. Your favourite jersey is covered in lint.

While catching up, I heard a lot of your ads for sweaters, specifically David mentioning that New Zealand calls them jerseys. And last week, inner city pressure by Flight of the Conchords came up on my playlist, and a line that's always confused me immediately made sense. Your favourite jersey is covered in lint.

I never understood how a jersey could become covered in lint, because in America, jerseys are athletic wear, like sports uniforms. They aren't generally a material that collects lint. I love how specific this feedback is. If there was lint, you could just shake it off. But sweaters, I now finally understand. So I'm really pleased that a Flight of the Conchords song from a very long time ago.

I never understood how a jersey could become covered in lint, because in America, jerseys are athletic wear, like sports uniforms. They aren't generally a material that collects lint. I love how specific this feedback is. If there was lint, you could just shake it off. But sweaters, I now finally understand. So I'm really pleased that a Flight of the Conchords song from a very long time ago.

Yeah, it was like a swanky dining experience. Big, big meat. You pay $70 for your big thing.

Yeah, it was like a swanky dining experience. Big, big meat. You pay $70 for your big thing.

It is, right?

It is, right?

Yeah. No, it's really old. Flight of the Conchords. I'm going to see when it premiered. Because Rhys talked about it on that Rhys Darby episode.

Yeah. No, it's really old. Flight of the Conchords. I'm going to see when it premiered. Because Rhys talked about it on that Rhys Darby episode.

I mean, it came out, I feel like, 98. Oh, no, that's the band. Let's see the TV show. I love it how when you Google now, the first page is basically just ads.

I mean, it came out, I feel like, 98. Oh, no, that's the band. Let's see the TV show. I love it how when you Google now, the first page is basically just ads.

Kids will be doing school projects, doing that shit, and just learning bullshit about the world.

Kids will be doing school projects, doing that shit, and just learning bullshit about the world.

Basically, it's just hallucinating bullshit. Not that smart, AI. June 2007 is when Flight of the Conchords premiered. So almost 20 years ago.

Basically, it's just hallucinating bullshit. Not that smart, AI. June 2007 is when Flight of the Conchords premiered. So almost 20 years ago.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. 98 for the band. And they would just play in like tiny clubs. So it would be, I never witnessed it, but you'd have Taika Waititi in there with them and Britain Jermaine. And they'd be playing to like 30 people and look at them now. That's crazy. I like the suggestion that Kate sent in. She said, have you ever heard of Midwestern salads? Yeah. Have you heard of Midwestern salads?

Yeah. 98 for the band. And they would just play in like tiny clubs. So it would be, I never witnessed it, but you'd have Taika Waititi in there with them and Britain Jermaine. And they'd be playing to like 30 people and look at them now. That's crazy. I like the suggestion that Kate sent in. She said, have you ever heard of Midwestern salads? Yeah. Have you heard of Midwestern salads?

This kind of blew my mind. So she grew up in Kansas. Um, she writes, I thought they were a normal part of everyday life until I moved to New York city where my friends shamed me. Um, basically any mixture of ingredients with a base of whipped cream, jello or mayo, AKA miracle whip, if you're a monster, qualifies as a salad in the Midwest.

This kind of blew my mind. So she grew up in Kansas. Um, she writes, I thought they were a normal part of everyday life until I moved to New York city where my friends shamed me. Um, basically any mixture of ingredients with a base of whipped cream, jello or mayo, AKA miracle whip, if you're a monster, qualifies as a salad in the Midwest.

Okay.

Okay.

Half listening, excuse me.

Half listening, excuse me.

Pretty gnarly. Yeah. Potato salad and pasta salad are probably the most ambiguous across the U.S., but there are much better salads out there. My personal favorite being frog eye salad. And I'm going to save that for an episode I eventually do.

Pretty gnarly. Yeah. Potato salad and pasta salad are probably the most ambiguous across the U.S., but there are much better salads out there. My personal favorite being frog eye salad. And I'm going to save that for an episode I eventually do.

About that salad. And my favorite bit of feedback that came in to flightlessbreadchat at gmail.com was from Mike. Hey, David and Rob. I love the show. Great that Rob gets a chance to get a more active role on the show, to which I agree. He goes on to say, I love the word fuck. No other word can be used so effectively in so many different ways.

About that salad. And my favorite bit of feedback that came in to flightlessbreadchat at gmail.com was from Mike. Hey, David and Rob. I love the show. Great that Rob gets a chance to get a more active role on the show, to which I agree. He goes on to say, I love the word fuck. No other word can be used so effectively in so many different ways.

That being said, in the hands of the wrong person, it can go awry. David, you are that wrong person. Listening to you saying fuck is rough. Don't force it. Let it happen naturally, and it won't be so awkward and cringy.

That being said, in the hands of the wrong person, it can go awry. David, you are that wrong person. Listening to you saying fuck is rough. Don't force it. Let it happen naturally, and it won't be so awkward and cringy.

I think so. Yeah. I replied to Mike saying terrible fucking feedback. David, he hasn't replied. If you have any feedback, any input about Cheesecake Factory, we are always flightlessbirdchat at gmail.com.

I think so. Yeah. I replied to Mike saying terrible fucking feedback. David, he hasn't replied. If you have any feedback, any input about Cheesecake Factory, we are always flightlessbirdchat at gmail.com.

Oh, we always do.

Oh, we always do.

I was just, Rob was saying before, our listeners are kind of intimidating because the feedback is always super smart and things that we hadn't even thought of.

I was just, Rob was saying before, our listeners are kind of intimidating because the feedback is always super smart and things that we hadn't even thought of.

Yeah, which is amazing. And it's like the dream, but it is also incredibly intimidating. Have a wonderful week. You too. And we will see you next week. Bye.

Yeah, which is amazing. And it's like the dream, but it is also incredibly intimidating. Have a wonderful week. You too. And we will see you next week. Bye.

This sounds incredibly American.

This sounds incredibly American.

You're like, meat now, more. Turn my thing over. Bring it to me.

You're like, meat now, more. Turn my thing over. Bring it to me.

I feel like we're already opening up multiple other food episodes. Back to malls briefly, because I've wondered about this. Growing up in New Zealand, I'm so familiar with every coming-of-age story or comedy. There's always kids hanging out in a mall, and they get up to mischief. Was mall life part of your upbringing at all? Was that a thing? You'd go and hang out at the mall? Yeah, a little bit.

I feel like we're already opening up multiple other food episodes. Back to malls briefly, because I've wondered about this. Growing up in New Zealand, I'm so familiar with every coming-of-age story or comedy. There's always kids hanging out in a mall, and they get up to mischief. Was mall life part of your upbringing at all? Was that a thing? You'd go and hang out at the mall? Yeah, a little bit.

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, this is on the list, because I still don't understand that place, and there's not many of them left, and I feel like we need to do an episode before they all, like, vanish.

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, this is on the list, because I still don't understand that place, and there's not many of them left, and I feel like we need to do an episode before they all, like, vanish.

Chang's, like, they are harder to get to now. Like, they're on the way out, I feel like. I don't mind the P.F. Chang's, actually. Okay, so all the big American, like, names were in this mall, right?

Chang's, like, they are harder to get to now. Like, they're on the way out, I feel like. I don't mind the P.F. Chang's, actually. Okay, so all the big American, like, names were in this mall, right?

I think you're probably right. As in it's very big and it sells a lot of food.

I think you're probably right. As in it's very big and it sells a lot of food.

yeah yeah yeah uh but yeah that was like paradise i love that was a high school like place to hang out yeah so okay and what would you get up to you'd like talk about like gossip and stuff and like go skateboarding and like have your discman on and stuff backpack over one shoulder

yeah yeah yeah uh but yeah that was like paradise i love that was a high school like place to hang out yeah so okay and what would you get up to you'd like talk about like gossip and stuff and like go skateboarding and like have your discman on and stuff backpack over one shoulder

I'm not even sure the benefit of that. Just kind of like you're behind the scenes, you know, like a fast track to like P.F. Chang's.

I'm not even sure the benefit of that. Just kind of like you're behind the scenes, you know, like a fast track to like P.F. Chang's.

It's very, very funny. I really like that. That's something that appeals to me a lot. Okay, so we went to the Cheesecake Factory and we're going to play our trip there shortly. There's a couple of bits of American news I keep forgetting to get to that I just want to raise because if I don't now, I'll forget. Since we did the Creed episode, endless... I mean, Creed is everywhere.

It's very, very funny. I really like that. That's something that appeals to me a lot. Okay, so we went to the Cheesecake Factory and we're going to play our trip there shortly. There's a couple of bits of American news I keep forgetting to get to that I just want to raise because if I don't now, I'll forget. Since we did the Creed episode, endless... I mean, Creed is everywhere.

You send me Creed stuff all the time.

You send me Creed stuff all the time.

It seems to be much more of a thing now. There's an incredible video of someone singing... Six Feet From The Edge song in the Grand Canyon. And so it's just them. It's someone filming from the edge of the Grand Canyon, someone across the other side. Or it's all done with AI and it's just made up. But it's booming across the Grand Canyon. It's incredible.

It seems to be much more of a thing now. There's an incredible video of someone singing... Six Feet From The Edge song in the Grand Canyon. And so it's just them. It's someone filming from the edge of the Grand Canyon, someone across the other side. Or it's all done with AI and it's just made up. But it's booming across the Grand Canyon. It's incredible.

I wish. No, just some guy.

I wish. No, just some guy.

Just a lunatic. This other headline, which is very old now, but I think it's worth reading out the headline. Trump official who added journalist to war plan chat is related to Creed's lead singer. Basically, it turns out that Mike Waltz, security advisor, is the brother-in-law of Scott Stapp. Coincidence?

Just a lunatic. This other headline, which is very old now, but I think it's worth reading out the headline. Trump official who added journalist to war plan chat is related to Creed's lead singer. Basically, it turns out that Mike Waltz, security advisor, is the brother-in-law of Scott Stapp. Coincidence?

Probably not. One of the most American things I've ever heard of. It's just so, so good. And one other thing. It was a story that I got kind of obsessed with because I just couldn't believe what I was reading. Nothing to do with Cheesecake Factory in any way whatsoever. There was a police chief in Hudson County, which I believe is in New Jersey. And this was the headline.

Probably not. One of the most American things I've ever heard of. It's just so, so good. And one other thing. It was a story that I got kind of obsessed with because I just couldn't believe what I was reading. Nothing to do with Cheesecake Factory in any way whatsoever. There was a police chief in Hudson County, which I believe is in New Jersey. And this was the headline.

Hudson County Police Chief Robert Farley is being accused of assaulting and harassing his officers, so people he worked with and was in charge of, in a lengthy list of complaints that included defecating on floors, exposing himself, shaving his back, attempting to drug co-workers. This is a clincher. This is a police chief. And sticking a hypodermic needle into an officer's penis.

Hudson County Police Chief Robert Farley is being accused of assaulting and harassing his officers, so people he worked with and was in charge of, in a lengthy list of complaints that included defecating on floors, exposing himself, shaving his back, attempting to drug co-workers. This is a clincher. This is a police chief. And sticking a hypodermic needle into an officer's penis.

Hi, Rosabelle. How are you?

Hi, Rosabelle. How are you?

That's what I am genuinely quite curious about. All I know is they have cheesecake but also literally everything else as well.

That's what I am genuinely quite curious about. All I know is they have cheesecake but also literally everything else as well.

I've got no more to say on it. I just think that is a remarkable person to be in the police force. Okay.

I've got no more to say on it. I just think that is a remarkable person to be in the police force. Okay.

I'm deeply curious. I feel it would have just been probably just directly into the shaft as some kind... He was, like, a practical joker, but he just got out of hand in a really, like... When I say out of hand, I mean like illegal shit.

I'm deeply curious. I feel it would have just been probably just directly into the shaft as some kind... He was, like, a practical joker, but he just got out of hand in a really, like... When I say out of hand, I mean like illegal shit.

But he just sounded like the worst kid at school who was like doing the most annoying pranks. But he ended up being a cop and then a police chief. And the whole story is like a list of other things he'd done. And it just gets crazier and crazier. He spotted the coffee pot in the office with Viagra and Adderall and loved using racial slurs.

But he just sounded like the worst kid at school who was like doing the most annoying pranks. But he ended up being a cop and then a police chief. And the whole story is like a list of other things he'd done. And it just gets crazier and crazier. He spotted the coffee pot in the office with Viagra and Adderall and loved using racial slurs.

The headline also refers to the fact that he pooped on desks. And I find pooped is a very... Fun word for a news article. Fun word for a news article to use. So... August 2024. Not long ago. Officer Darin said that things soured between him and the police chief. And he said, quote, Chief Farley chases me around his office. None of this is funny.

The headline also refers to the fact that he pooped on desks. And I find pooped is a very... Fun word for a news article. Fun word for a news article to use. So... August 2024. Not long ago. Officer Darin said that things soured between him and the police chief. And he said, quote, Chief Farley chases me around his office. None of this is funny.

After cornering me in the filing area with no further room for retreat. So he's in the corner. He's backed up. Officer Farley is hulking over him, back recently shaven as another practical joke on the floor. He sticks a hypodermic needle through my jeans into the tip of my penis. So basically just got the needle through, just jabbed it, basically stabbed. Yeah.

After cornering me in the filing area with no further room for retreat. So he's in the corner. He's backed up. Officer Farley is hulking over him, back recently shaven as another practical joke on the floor. He sticks a hypodermic needle through my jeans into the tip of my penis. So basically just got the needle through, just jabbed it, basically stabbed. Yeah.

Yeah well when you half listen to this episode maybe you can learn something for once. I'm David Farrier, a New Zealander accidentally marooned in America, and I want to figure out what makes this country tick. Now, despite living here for about four years now, there are still lots of American activities I haven't done yet, and one in particular that stood out.

Yeah well when you half listen to this episode maybe you can learn something for once. I'm David Farrier, a New Zealander accidentally marooned in America, and I want to figure out what makes this country tick. Now, despite living here for about four years now, there are still lots of American activities I haven't done yet, and one in particular that stood out.

Darren wrote in his complaint that the needle drew blood and that he was further humiliated when he had to explain the injury to his wife. Imagine if I went home, if I had this wife, I'd go home. I was like, fuck, my dick hurts because Rob chased me today and jabbed a hypodermic needle through my shorts into my penis. And I'm deeply embarrassed by this and I'm sorry.

Darren wrote in his complaint that the needle drew blood and that he was further humiliated when he had to explain the injury to his wife. Imagine if I went home, if I had this wife, I'd go home. I was like, fuck, my dick hurts because Rob chased me today and jabbed a hypodermic needle through my shorts into my penis. And I'm deeply embarrassed by this and I'm sorry.

And then this is a quote that kind of sums it up. which is, I think, how I'd feel if you did this to me. From this point on, the chief creates a hostile work environment. He wrote, it's pretty hostile. The chief would shave his body here on people's property, their persons, and their food. It's rough, man. He was also fond of scraping... This is insane.

And then this is a quote that kind of sums it up. which is, I think, how I'd feel if you did this to me. From this point on, the chief creates a hostile work environment. He wrote, it's pretty hostile. The chief would shave his body here on people's property, their persons, and their food. It's rough, man. He was also fond of scraping... This is insane.

And again, I don't quite understand the sentence. He was also fond of scraping fluids from his underwear onto people seated in his office. I think I've said enough. Sweaty underwear, probably. Sweaty underwear. Yeah, that you're wringing out. Again, police chief in New Jersey. And yeah, every day in America, there's like a new delight.

And again, I don't quite understand the sentence. He was also fond of scraping fluids from his underwear onto people seated in his office. I think I've said enough. Sweaty underwear, probably. Sweaty underwear. Yeah, that you're wringing out. Again, police chief in New Jersey. And yeah, every day in America, there's like a new delight.

Really good. Really good throw. Table for two, please. Um, David and Rob.

Really good. Really good throw. Table for two, please. Um, David and Rob.

This is it. I've walked past many of them. I have poked my nose in, but this is what I've always wanted. It's very grand. It is grand. It feels like, I mean, like many of these chains in America, it feels like a theme park of sorts, right? Like nothing is real.

This is it. I've walked past many of them. I have poked my nose in, but this is what I've always wanted. It's very grand. It is grand. It feels like, I mean, like many of these chains in America, it feels like a theme park of sorts, right? Like nothing is real.

Yeah, generic. You walk in and it feels like your home. It's like, this is a cheesecake factory.

Yeah, generic. You walk in and it feels like your home. It's like, this is a cheesecake factory.

How many times have you dined at a cheesecake factory? You know, you've got kids, you've got a family.

How many times have you dined at a cheesecake factory? You know, you've got kids, you've got a family.

Okay, so this was kind of in your DNA. You, as an American, were kind of raised in here.

Okay, so this was kind of in your DNA. You, as an American, were kind of raised in here.

I'm good. I'm just wondering, I know you've got a really busy day. You've got a lot of things on, but I'm just wondering if you could squeeze me in to your schedule for the podcast.

I'm good. I'm just wondering, I know you've got a really busy day. You've got a lot of things on, but I'm just wondering if you could squeeze me in to your schedule for the podcast.

I have never eaten at the Cheesecake Factory. All I really knew about the Cheesecake Factory is that they're very big. Big restaurants, big menus, big portions.

I have never eaten at the Cheesecake Factory. All I really knew about the Cheesecake Factory is that they're very big. Big restaurants, big menus, big portions.

I've grabbed it, and it's thick and it's weighty. How many pages are we talking here? They're numbered.

I've grabbed it, and it's thick and it's weighty. How many pages are we talking here? They're numbered.

Of course, because dessert is a big factor that's coming, and I imagine the slices here aren't tiny?

Of course, because dessert is a big factor that's coming, and I imagine the slices here aren't tiny?

Oh my god. What have we got here? We've got the root beer, we've got some delicious bread coming in. What is the most common, like what is your signature meal that most people would get if they're iconically wanting to dine at Cheesecake Factory besides the cheesecake?

Oh my god. What have we got here? We've got the root beer, we've got some delicious bread coming in. What is the most common, like what is your signature meal that most people would get if they're iconically wanting to dine at Cheesecake Factory besides the cheesecake?

It is quite strange that that is the one film that so many young people have to learn about.

It is quite strange that that is the one film that so many young people have to learn about.

He's really led the way on media representation of the prison system, hasn't he?

He's really led the way on media representation of the prison system, hasn't he?

I did eat too much and now I feel sleepy.

I did eat too much and now I feel sleepy.

Just a hodgepodge of different things. I actually, I ordered a Korean bowl type thing and it wasn't very good so then I didn't eat much of it and I snacked on some other things. Don't put this in the podcast.

Just a hodgepodge of different things. I actually, I ordered a Korean bowl type thing and it wasn't very good so then I didn't eat much of it and I snacked on some other things. Don't put this in the podcast.

Oh, specifically in America. I guess what comes to mind is what is different to here in Aotearoa, which is like the death sentence and the different ways in which the prison system in America operates.

Oh, specifically in America. I guess what comes to mind is what is different to here in Aotearoa, which is like the death sentence and the different ways in which the prison system in America operates.

Well, you know, because we all have to study Shawshank Redemption.

Well, you know, because we all have to study Shawshank Redemption.

It's a rite of passage.

It's a rite of passage.

I feel like maybe one teacher chose it and then everyone else was too lazy to change the curriculum.

I feel like maybe one teacher chose it and then everyone else was too lazy to change the curriculum.

It's actually so sunny today. It's nice because as you may or may not know, we had a lot of rain recently.

It's actually so sunny today. It's nice because as you may or may not know, we had a lot of rain recently.

Say the word emo where it came from. Are you recording me? Fuck off. No. No. No.

Say the word emo where it came from. Are you recording me? Fuck off. No. No. No.

Yeah, but even an emo can move through the world on a sunny day in their own emo way.

Yeah, but even an emo can move through the world on a sunny day in their own emo way.

Hello, David.

Hello, David.

Yeah, maybe, but maybe that's just about where you're going. Maybe you're not going to the emo hang spots, you know.

Yeah, maybe, but maybe that's just about where you're going. Maybe you're not going to the emo hang spots, you know.

yeah i guess it's the fringe isn't it that classic emo fringe and a lip piercing my chemical romance is that like an emo band definitely yeah that was that was emo i feel like you had a bit of a fringe going on at one point that's that's just my fashion that's not emo that's just my haircut

yeah i guess it's the fringe isn't it that classic emo fringe and a lip piercing my chemical romance is that like an emo band definitely yeah that was that was emo i feel like you had a bit of a fringe going on at one point that's that's just my fashion that's not emo that's just my haircut

I'm good. How are you?

I'm good. How are you?