Remy Swice
Appearances
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Someone told me I look like a retired skinhead. That's why I tell women I'm a veterinarian. South Carolina, Georgia, and Alabama take more Viagra than any other states in the Union. Alabama, South Carolina, Georgia, I love their dick pills. Hey, they did say the South will rise again. If at first you don't secede, you can dust it off and try again.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Even though I look like a racist white guy, I'm not a racist white guy. I'm a racist Arabic guy. Big difference. I don't know if y'all been watching the news, but it's my turn to be racist. Look at me, look at me. I'm the N-word now.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Okay, so what are you, Remy? Middle Eastern by descent. Both my folks are from Jordan, but I was born and raised in Oklahoma City.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
What made your Middle Eastern parents pick Oklahoma? There wasn't anybody to tell them what to do in Oklahoma. Okay. Are you familiar with large family politics?
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Oh, all right. I thought you were Italian. Well, no big deal. What do you mean? Well, everybody loves to tell people what to do in a large family, right? And there wasn't any family in Oklahoma, so they'd start their own thing out there. It's pretty cool. They used to sling rugs and tapestries out of the back of their trucks.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's cool. So they moved to Chicago when they came to America, and then they would drive to L.A. and back through Route 66.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Yeah, no, they stopped in Oklahoma City, and it was a pretty cool place, and there was an Orthodox community there, and very welcoming.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
No, the first time I got on stage to do an open mic was 2006.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
No, I messed around for a long time, because, you know, life happens, and I can't just do open mics growing up, so... Why? Why couldn't you do open mics? Mostly, I was committed to a... Jail? Relationship, or a job, but about three years ago, I was able to fully immerse myself and start hitting it and getting to it.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
We have a pita bakery, and we had gyro shops in the mall growing up, so I grew up in a shopping mall in the 80s and 90s.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
You know how much time you have to spend grinding, getting these open mics and starting shows and producing little bits? Who are you yelling at? Laughing at my Uber job?
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Yeah, yeah, actually, trying to start a family. If anybody's unvaccinated out there and they want to start having kids, holler. I am.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Yeah, when you're 44, you ain't got time to mess around. So you're like looking for a woman. Yeah, yeah. I got my aunt showing me girls from the old country, too. Yeah, man, this one girl, she's a real jihadi.