Rebecca St. James

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Ep 1095 | Rebecca St. James Opens Her Heart to Jase & Missy About Infertility & Faith in Suffering

it's pretty amazing yeah we have a little pond back there and thankfully the people that built this house had three kids and they wanted to make a backyard paradise so there's a little bitty island on this pond and We're just water people. I mean, me, me growing up near the beach in Australia and then Cubby growing up near the beach in California, something calls to us about water.

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Ep 1095 | Rebecca St. James Opens Her Heart to Jase & Missy About Infertility & Faith in Suffering

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So he, the first time I brought him back to Tennessee, actually, when we were dating, we did the rope swing thing. We swung on a rope swing into a river and I think he was just captivated. And you saw five flies that trip too, right?

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Ep 1095 | Rebecca St. James Opens Her Heart to Jase & Missy About Infertility & Faith in Suffering

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Yeah. It's amazing. It's kind of magical. It is. I think we take it for granted living in the South, but it is really special if you haven't.

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Ep 1095 | Rebecca St. James Opens Her Heart to Jase & Missy About Infertility & Faith in Suffering

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Okay, I want to ask a question. A question that I feel like is totally probably fine to ask here, but what do you do with those raccoons? I mean, on the show. That's a great question. You ate some pretty crazy stuff. I don't think you eat raccoons.

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Ep 1095 | Rebecca St. James Opens Her Heart to Jase & Missy About Infertility & Faith in Suffering

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It's been really, really sweet. And I think we were very intentional about wanting it to be just our story. Yeah. I love that scripture and revelation we overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony. And we need each other's stories and we need to be encouraged by each other's stories.

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Ep 1095 | Rebecca St. James Opens Her Heart to Jase & Missy About Infertility & Faith in Suffering

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And I think the more authentic we can be, the more people relate to it and go, Oh, that's me too. I've been through that. And, you know, we talk about miscarriage in the book. We talk about waiting seasons. We talk about job loss, you know, um, yeah, for me, secondary infertility and just burnout, burnout and just so many different things that we've been through.

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Ep 1095 | Rebecca St. James Opens Her Heart to Jase & Missy About Infertility & Faith in Suffering

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And just trying to hear the voice of God in seasons where you just feel confused in, you know, just there's so much I think that we had journeyed through separately. And then I was in my early 30s. He was in his late 20s when we met in LA. And then to meet each other and feel like, oh, wow, you are this other soul that feels like the other part or the match of my soul.

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Ep 1095 | Rebecca St. James Opens Her Heart to Jase & Missy About Infertility & Faith in Suffering

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We're so different in personality. I'm much more extroverted. He's much more introverted. He's calmer. I'm excitable, you know, just all of that. And I'm very verbal. I like to verbally process. A dream, you know, time in the car is just kind of quietly being together. And I just want to be chatting the whole time.

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So we're real different, but the same heart, the same values, the same commitment to God, the same picture of what family life, what we want that to look like, the same priorities.

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And it was just amazing to have journeyed through so much and then meet this person, you know, for me on the other side of the world from where I was born and then the other side of the country from where I'd lived and to meet this person that matches in heart. Like I'm just, I sit in this time in my life and just feel so thankful. I see God's grace.

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Ep 1095 | Rebecca St. James Opens Her Heart to Jase & Missy About Infertility & Faith in Suffering

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I see the gift that our relationship, that our family is. And I'm just kind of amazed. So we hope that our story just feels hopeful to people in a time where I think people are discouraged either spiritually or relationally or in marriage or in family life. And we hope it's kind of wind in people's sails, really. I think that was a part of our intent. What would you say?

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Ep 1095 | Rebecca St. James Opens Her Heart to Jase & Missy About Infertility & Faith in Suffering

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And I wasn't wowed by the glam moments either or like looking for that or, you know, there was just a sense of understanding of. the highs and the lows of a profile life, like a life that to most of the world looks like you're, you're living the dream. It's just amazing. It's what everybody wants. But yet there's, there's challenges and loneliness to that, that I understood for him.

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And so we were able to even bond over that. Yes. It's amazing. And it's a privilege and it's beautiful and such an adventure. Um, but there's also challenges that I got for him. And so we were able to relate on that level. And again, just such a God thing that we could like, wow.

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But not what I signed up for in the relationship.

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Ep 1095 | Rebecca St. James Opens Her Heart to Jase & Missy About Infertility & Faith in Suffering

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Yeah. I mean, I think what encourages me so much about that moment in time is how much God can do in such a short amount of time. I think most times in our lives, progress and healing and change, great change, takes time. It's just a process. It just takes longer than what we think. We've got to be patient in that.

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Ep 1095 | Rebecca St. James Opens Her Heart to Jase & Missy About Infertility & Faith in Suffering

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And there's times in our lives where he just changes us instantaneously, whether it's becoming a Christian or, you know, for many people, leaving an addiction and God delivers, you know. But for us, that moment was so transformative and probably the most transformative time I've ever experienced in my relationship with Jesus. And that's being a Christian for decades, you know. But I'm on stage.

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I was singing on that cruise. The whole Small Bone Clan was there. We were in this season of infertility and pain and burnout and job loss and all the things. And I felt prompted by the Holy Spirit to just share that on stage in between worship songs and just say, this is where we're at right now. And we're just clinging to the goodness of God and what we know about him and

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even in this really hard, not wrapped up with a bow season, like nothing was wrapped up. And I think generally I like to share those stories of victory, like God's done this, and this is the breakthrough. And this is how we're on the other side of it. And we were not on the other side of it, guys, like we were in it. And I just felt him saying, Hey, just trust me.

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I want you to just share from that place. And I did. I'm crying on stage. I almost never cry on stage. The audience was crying. It was a kind of not a dry eye in the room. Like the Holy Spirit was so profoundly moving. I just get goosebumps thinking about it now.

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And I hadn't been singing at that point. I was, you know, retired and kind of burned out and had vocal problems and all of it. So it was vulnerable for me to even sing, let alone be that vulnerable in singing.

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between songs but it was so transformative it was like like while i'm on stage i'm feeling the the winter fall away from me like a spring begin a sunrise and i'm like like dominoes it's almost like you know you just see your past differently you see your future differently it was almost like this domino effect that was happening in my heart while i'm on stage and i walked off and i said to my brother who was backstage i thank god just

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moved me back into ministry I think he just did this crazy change in my life like I was not looking for it I had hung up that hat that talking about hats that hat was done like for the rest of my life I was done and then he just you know changed me and so for both of us to be going through that separately and then talk about it later and go what you too yeah

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Ep 1095 | Rebecca St. James Opens Her Heart to Jase & Missy About Infertility & Faith in Suffering

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And we might be moving to Nashville and we weren't looking for any of it. Like wild. So we just feel thankful.

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So he was just throwing up? Were you just living in the toilet?

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They were probably the sweetest people.

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I think what comes to mind when you're talking about all those different points is just the gratefulness.

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And we were talking about this in small group, like two nights ago, like how, you know, I had somebody tell me before we got married, it was actually a movie that I was filming and it was the mentor role in, in that movie was wrote it into the script even, but he was just saying that marriage gets better.

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If you, if you are in a Christian marriage and you're committed to it and you're committed to each other and, it just gets better and better and sweeter and sweeter. And there's a lot of people that miss out on the great by bailing when it gets hard.

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And what I feel like we're seeing in our journey now, 14 years in, we just celebrated 14 years a few weeks ago, was we just have had these moments of going, we see a sweetness in, and a connection and a deepening love and a deepening trust that is happening because of the challenges.

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It's not in spite of the challenges. It's actually because of them and it's the crying together, you know, in those broken moments when his mom dies and it's the, you know, him finding out that he's got to part ways with the band and, and the pain of that and sticking it out together in that and the miscarriages and the disappointments and the over and over again and the,

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being together in that and going to God together in that has created this just, I don't know, sense of gratefulness or richness in the relationship. And it's not that we're like, it's, it's not that it's butterflies and you know, what did you say earlier, Jace? Like, you know, rainbows and sunshine and butterflies all the time.

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There's still hard stuff and there's still conflict that we have to work through and hard conversations and things like that, that, you know, that's a part of it. But I don't know, there's, there's a deep seated trust that is there because we've, we've seen each other, we've known each other, we've really pressed in and the end result, which is that final number five is the love that goes deeper.

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Seeing, known, heard, held and loved each other. And so I just feel thankful to be in this time now and have seen the beauty of God's way. And I think when we think about people just kind of closing the book, We want them to say, God is good. Man, God is good. And man, he loves his kids. And we're a bit of a mess, all of us, all of us. But he loves his kids. And he's here and he's with us.