Nick Mullen
Appearances
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
No, bungee jumping off a dam. I was like, I wanted to feel that. Just wanted to feel something. Well, that sense of freedom, I guess. Bungee jumping off a dam, swan diving off a dam. And I'm like, what am I... Oh, right, the beginning of Goldeneye. And then I watched up until the... You know, when they blow up the fucking...
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
damn no the the sever naya missile the silo no not the silo where they blow up the fucking the satellite is that where he dies where he that he comes back to do something to free the kid or whatever and then he's got to like stop the lawn no you're thinking of a fucking kindergarten cop yeah yeah golden eyes james bond yeah which james bond did he go back
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I think what he's throwing at you, he was dressed by a gay for those movies. Yeah, I heard a lot of gay guys dress other men.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Up until Daniel Craig, the suits were all just off the rack.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Whenever I, you know, otherwise I would want a cigarette or vape.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
that's fast i'm gonna get fast at that i'm gonna have to for my future career you ever give one of those pouches to like a child to see the flavor ones no no no no i don't do i i try to stay away from tricking children i think that that's not something that uh we should be doing you ever get too many of those and give it to homeless people
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Deal, New Jersey. What is that?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I don't trick homeless people.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I give homeless people matches and directions to James Wood's house. I was like, I don't have any money. I have this box of matches, and this is where James Woods lives.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
It's so funny to imagine. It's like, yeah, it was homeless people. That big-ass fire was a bunch of homeless people with flamethrowers going around, sneaking around.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Oh, I thought it was like a show. It's a real thing? I thought it was a show. Like a reality show.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
what do they mean homeless people so like in like their fucking barrels that they warm up with yeah i think they meant like the guys that warm their hands uh you know donkey kong down the road they warm their hands they're wearing a barrel you know then that's not arson that's like they're just they're the guy they needed a fire to be warm yeah
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
That was the thing.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Did you bring that? I brought it up recently. Did you? I think I was just thinking about it, but I remember reading about it as a kid. As a kid, they tell you about that. It seemed so scary to me, and I remember being a kid being like, I don't want to do that. I don't want to be an adult. I would read about things that I thought I had to do. Yeah, you go over Niagara Falls in a barrel.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
It's like you've seen that video of the guy jumping off the Eiffel Tower in his parachute suit. Oh, like a squirrel suit from like 1880. And he's got like a and he's like showing the flaps. And then you see him and it's like, you know, and he's like waving to everybody. And then he hesitates for a second. He jumps off and he's just immediately like, yeah, right. Just like and then dust comes up.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
They're just at Walmart.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Never try it over water. Everyone just sort of leaves.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
and it's like and it's funny because i've seen that video and you think it's like you know it's crazy that we have all these things and like people had to die for us to get like like to just get a microphone there's probably 30 guys it's like and let's try this you know like it killed them yeah right and so he's singing like man this guy like came up with this idea like that wasn't it obviously it's a thing that expands but like to be like this could work and he tries it and he dies and then they're like okay let's keep refining this process
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
But the truth is actually that they had already invented parachutes. That they existed. They figured out. They deploy. And that's how they work. And this guy was like, yeah, but what if it was like a cool coat?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I just got 45 AA batteries for $11. Hosted by Guy Fieri.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
It was an idiot. It was just like it wasn't an inventor. It was an idiot.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Get down. Well, it's funny because it's almost in a way that the complexities of patent law and how difficult it is to patent something and in these days be an inventor is probably saving a lot of lives. Because if you just had to, like, call up the patent office and be like, well, here's my nickel and my quarter, and I invented the bumblebee suit for a man, you know? It doesn't have to work.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Well, and then they try out their bumblebee suit, and it kills everyone. Yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
you still get a patent on it regardless yeah well there's a guy that's like i had an idea what if i could fly and i had a needle that came out of my ass you know and great it's yours yeah and they're like okay and he goes to a lawyer and they're like well it's going to be seventy thousand dollars and he's like well i have no money how about that they're like maybe you should try janitor instead of inventor and it's it's like protecting people in a way
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Damn, that's a fucking, that's a rock star deal you got. when do we eat shit when are we eating shit hold on a second guys he doesn't know what the show is why am i here it's where's the food
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
And he rolled himself off a cliff.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Yeah, yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Same thing. He probably thought he's like, no, it's a flying. Yeah, yeah. It's pretty cool to just ride around on. And he's like, no, it'll fly. I am made of new parachute. You know, I don't, everybody shits on that, the guy who's like doing like daily penis surgeries and like drinking his son's cum to stay young. Wow. The billionaire, Brian Johnson. Yeah, that guy. Yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
And it's weird because it's like... He looks like an Asian woman. He looks weird. He looks fucking weird. I don't know if it's working or not. It probably isn't. But he's just doing... What's going on here?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Let's not...
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
That's awesome. So it's like you hold your wife's hands and just spin around?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
So it's connected.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
You could also do it in like a fast elevator at the Tower of Terror.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
yeah tower of terror just make a make a bitch sit upside down welcome to the twilight zone oh my god i'm so sorry everybody i'm so sorry i i had my baby i'm sorry don't continue with the ride i'm so yeah i'm i messed up the tower of terror i know y'all waited in line for probably seven hours
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Well, I went to the doctor the other day. I got to go to the doctor again. Stress level? I don't know. We'll figure it out. Yeah, I don't know. Sort of take care of myself for a little bit and then. Yeah. You know, make some other plan. I'll probably just end up podcasting again.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
It's a different thing. Yeah, yeah. If I get back into podcasting, I want to have one of those themed podcasts that are now out of vogue. That's what I got, a travel podcast. But 10 years ago, you had to have a theme. Yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
the socialist women of wrestling or something yeah well i think i might just it might just be doing small household repairs i had to fix the motor in my automatic litter box the other day and i'm like i could just i'm good at this so you're gonna do it in a podcast form not like a like a video form No, yeah, it'll be a podcast. It'll be an audio-only podcast.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I feel like you're free to genre.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
You have to listen to it.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
You have to listen to all 800 episodes in the off chance that I covered how to fix the screen on your Mr. Coffee.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
yeah what what the fuck yeah this part that's supposed to be this part you know the part that looks like he just fucks up and he whispers the n-word under his breath I don't do that I don't get I don't get pissed off doing stuff like that I'm like damn what a process open it up you feel zen it's got all these little gears in there springs I pulled all the gears off I got a little toothbrush and I cleaned them all up
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
He's retiring.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I've always wanted to see a really old guy who's also fat. And I'm like, check out Ben and Geriatric.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
He's on the Protect Our Parks Reddit. He's on the r slash chronic diary Reddit. He's on day 712. And then he just tabs you.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
The subway was a bad idea. He's on the fighter and the kid Reddit. He's like talking in that language. And then he's back over on the dying of diarrhea Reddit being like, I love this community.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
This community has changed my life. Brendan is a fucking idiot.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
people get tired of saying the same shit over and over again no no I mean they're just podcasting you ever get it's the it's like the it's narcissists reflection I meant reddit the reddit people it's not reddit it's the entire internet they're reacting to us saying the same things over and over yeah right can you imagine it like we're online because we make money from it but there are thousands there are millions of people who for zero dollars just yell at the president of the United States all day thinking he's reading it for no money yeah
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
just like clocking in family guy episode where brian gets into that like in like 2018 he's like a trump reply guy and he's like geo hashtag gopu just getting like zero retweets just into a void for no one screaming at a void
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
The Netflix documentary about it called Not Just a Number.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
yeah yeah he died he died oh yeah it's coming out yeah perhaps never um well i wonder i wonder do you think bird will die soon yeah okay i don't know i mean hopefully that body type doesn't see 60 is it gonna be like reagan's funeral where they drive him through washington and
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I think it's just he cleaned his glasses finally. No.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
There's no film. There's no film.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
You're thinking of a new Chinese branded iPad. Not glasses. Out of the box iPads.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Then don't order that next time.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I chewed off a part of my other glasses and I went to the store and I was like, oh yeah, this fell off. It's under warranty. We don't make those glasses anymore. Really? I was like, so I can't ever get these replaced? Yeah. They're like, no, we only have stupid looking glasses now. I was like, but I need smart-looking glasses.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
White. Six foot two. Blonde hair. Blue eyes.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Take your strupe waffle with you. Take your fucking suspenders. And your goddamn, why do you need suspenders? Your shorts are already too goddamn high. They're called Lederhosen.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
yeah it'll be two comics just like navy band tgi fridays around the valley yeah it'll be like the inauguration but sad yeah all the same people will be there millions of people lining up to see his body yeah open those pictures of the inauguration are crazy it's like yeah we got everybody here we got fucking joe rogan and jake paul jake paul and joe rogan what a combo why theo why is theo at the inauguration yeah he didn't know what president was six months ago
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
There was a guy who heard Guess What and he goes, you're gay!
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
And then the guy, he looks over at his squishmallows and he goes, got him. I got him, guys. I got the bug, dude.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
What do you mean they push out?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
This is Nick's final episode.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Guess what? What? That's what makes them perfect. I only buy jeans when I'm in really good shape, and then I immediately get in bad shape, and then I just have useless jeans all the time.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Because I have a two-week window where I'm like, I'm going to get some jeans, and then it's back to sweatpants.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
You better fucking love them. Since this is my final day, should I charter a stretch limousine home after? Yeah. No, we should get a blade, dude. No, not we. How about a 10-gun salute? Not we. I think I should get a stretch limousine with a nice little 10-inch TV in the back. I'm going to wait. 10-inch CRT TV and I can watch Home Alone 2.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
It is Bungalookaduckabumbaduckabumbaduck.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Guys, that's an awesome name. That's a cool name.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
You have them sitting in the office.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Why don't you go get your pants, Adam? Go get your pants. They're sitting on the couch. You want to just keep going with the... Okay. Adam's going to go put his pants on that he got from Perfect Jeans.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
His Levy jeans. Levy, yeah. Yeah. His Levy jeans.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Can you hand me his vape, please? Yeah. Thank you. What's the... So that's... You got... When did you record this special? April. April? Yeah. And when did you... And Jew was the one right before that? Jew was a couple years before. A couple years... Oh, man. See, in my mind, Jew came out eight months ago. Yeah. And now you already have another one. No, it was... That's what I mean.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
That's why I have to leave is because this is... I'm just... If I'm gonna waste my life, I would rather do it fixing small motors and tinkering.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Come Town was a good show.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Can you imagine being cut off by a Hyundai and being like, oh, this fuck, this is probably, this is probably some rich asshole. No. Yeah. Right. It's just, it's some idiot on their Korean way to fucking go to their Korean job.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Whatever they sent him to him.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Oh, okay. Do they sponsor your podcast?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
They're probably one of those companies that's smart that understands you only need to buy one read.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
yeah and then like they'll just keep wearing it some of these companies are like i don't know we've been paying these guys for 10 years and no one's buying it's like yeah it's the same 15 people yeah listen to this show honestly it's just comedians just send them one pair of jeans they'll just wear them almost every comic yeah some guy brought me some guy brought me shorts you look like nanette dude it's not bad can i see can i see the uh the tag
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Because he told Trump about CIS. He's like, is that like the chairman of the board?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
That's aggressive, and it looks like an eye test chart. Yeah. That would be a cool movie, right? Like an optometrist that is a killer. Oh. And somebody gets their eyes checked, and then they're like, now read the last line. And they're squinting, the guy's squinting, and then the last line says, I killed your wife. And he's like, wait a minute.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
And then he knocks the thing, and the optometrist shoots him. Uh-huh.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
we just slowly sees a pin coming out and then it says the end like blood comes out yeah yeah um like it run it yeah guys fashion project yeah guys let me go to direct yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna walk around i'm gonna go pretend like i'm doing habitat for humanity in la and i'm gonna find steven spielberg and be like i'm here to rebuild your home also the optometrist.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
It's a post-it note with just what I said on it. So what's the pitch? This is it. Now, I know there's formatting issues here, but this is the screenplay. It just says the optometrist, but you could read it, right? Yeah, right. And then it says the end. But he's a killer. He's a killer optometrist. And the eye chart at the bottom, it says, I killed your wife. Ha, ha, ha.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Well, then take this shirt off. Take this shirt off. You shouldn't be wearing anything but the jeans, including your glasses and your engagement ring.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Your body's a wonderland. Let's edit in some mid-90s Fox wooing noises for the rest of the episode.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Anyways, back to the read.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
This is for you, buddy. This is for you, Tommy. This is a going away present money for you. No, it's not. The going away present is going away.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lieutenant Worf.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
That looks tough. We should get some spoons and forks for you to curl.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
If he was confidently saying... bar and there's pictures of him at the inauguration with the president there's just vomit all over his shirt his tuxedo he doesn't puke quiet like regular he's just throwing up while taking the pictures excuse me it's been an hour yeah constantly just a slow leak of like oatmeal bulimia breath yeah
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
You know how those raw food guys on the show that's telling about it? He's like, in Afghanistan, we would have to barf to cover our smell. That's how I got into it because the local Afghans, they can smell you. But you're upwind. But if you cover yourself in diarrhea and barf, they wouldn't be able to tell where the troops were. And that's why we have to kill every migrant.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
uh you guys that took a dark turn that's what they say on that thing that's what he says on that on that on that program on the right wing don't have to kill radical right wing uh c-span c-span um it's funny they're doing all these deportations you think there's like somewhere in like ecuador mexico there's somebody that's like seeing a guy come off a plane he's like well well yeah
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Thank you, Worf. Thank you, Worf. I'll never forget that you believed in me.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Look who came crawling back. It wasn't my choice. We told you you wouldn't make it. I told you you could never make it in America.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Also, before I depart, a final thank you to the good folks at Ridge Wallet, who sent me a very nice care package for Christmas.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Just that they haven't sponsored the show in forever, but they just send me stuff anyways because they're nice. That's how easy it is to get a read on this shit.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Yeah, they sent me the luggage set. What? Ridge Wallet. Yeah, they have the luggage. The luggage is really nice, although it did get dinged up pretty bad by the fucking baggage handlers at JFK. It's not Ridge's fault. Fucking assholes at JFK. Yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Yeah. I'm pretty sure they're Italian. What? But anyways, yeah, they sent me a nice, and they have Ridge branded cookies. Your new backpack is cool. They sent me a backpack. I got the new backpack also. Yeah, and it matches his water bottle.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
There's no promo code. There's a pocket. Yeah, there's a pocket. It's just a good company.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
It perfectly fits my Kindle. Oh, it's got a Kindle and a laptop. So if I'm out and I'm doing my survivalist stuff, I can check in on the Canterbury Tales.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
The one guest I booked that I requested when we had a talent poker was Tom Fontana.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I requested Tom Fontana. Okay, I'll release that episode then. If you want. I haven't watched it yet. He was only here for like. He was here for an hour and I feel like we didn't get anything. No, not an hour. He only had like 28 minutes. Yeah, yeah. I feel like we didn't get anything.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
So I was mostly, it was like, let's get the interview over with so that he could sign my DVD box set of Homicide Life, which I'm bringing that in.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
It's a file cabinet. Just in case the episode never comes out, I want to show you guys. Go on in red. No, no. Over the last two and a half years, what I got out of this experience was I got my DVD box set of Homicide Life on the Street. Just in time for no DVD player. We have one back there, and I have one at home.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
It's a show about criminals getting away with it.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I think he produced it, but I think it's Tom Fontana.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I think David Chase's book inspired it, but then Tom Fontana created it. I don't know, but it would be very funny. Oh, yeah. It would be very funny. It would be very funny if, okay, never mind. Yeah, we're friends.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Oh, yeah. Yeah, you can say Stav's name. I will then. We're good with Stav. Wait, you don't think he's great? Do you have beef with Stav?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
He's like, let's get the beef too. Stav loves beef. Somebody messed up the numbers. Yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Oh, four. This is my five. That's the bonus. That one goes in the back. Yeah. then we gotta like yeah get the card so the bonus one goes there yeah seven six wow great three oh wait three three and that's that's four yeah okay perfect but are the dvds in that order yeah we got those two so you were saying or whatever And if you guys have never seen Homicide, just watch the Bop Gun episode.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Wait, who said that? That was on the show?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
What's the Bop Gun one? It's the one with Robin Williams, where Robin Williams guest stars. He gets turned around on the train? No. What's that?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
He gets bopped off. They play the husband. It's a Midwestern family that comes and visits the city, and a couple of teenagers go to rob them, and the wife stands up to them, and they kill the wife by accident.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
And so it's like them doing the investigation at the same time as Robin Williams is in the hotel with his kids and he's like reeling because his wife was just murdered and he has to go identify the body and stuff. And yeah, and he keeps doing that stuff. Who vacations in Baltimore? Yeah, I don't know. I think that was probably the first mistake.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I think you're thinking of the movie Signs when the woman's pinned against the tree.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
He's like, I'll see you guys later. I'm going to go check the mail.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
It's really sad how that guy died. I know, and he was a great actor. He was a good actor. That guy had a bright future ahead of him. You ever see Green Room?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
green room yeah yeah great movie yeah it's a movie that's who that's who the with the neo-nazis the punks the punk band of the neo-nazis should have gotten uh what's his jeremy saulnier is that how you pronounce his name jeremy said the guy that directed green room and it was like north carolina guys blue ruin yeah yeah they're really good those guys yeah if you could add him
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Yeah, him and Macon Blair is the other one. He stars in both of them.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Do the show.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
it's kind of over. That's why I'm getting out now, dude.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Go ahead. What are you going to take away from me? No, what's going to happen is I'm going to take away my small motors.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
It's the family business. And it's because they wouldn't honor a coupon. Where was this?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
i only recently found out that the anne frank secret annex was like a whole other fucking building it was like a brownstone yeah it was great it was like a mansion it was great it was so much space headroom i thought it was like a secret room yeah yeah like they were living in like there was like clock gears and stuff and steam wasn't it behind like a file cabinet or something it was behind a file cabinet but then it goes to like a whole other building so it's like a
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
It's like a bookshelf that comes out. When you learn that, it's like, well, the Nazis weren't even really trying to find people.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Because you've got to imagine, if you're just trying to get through this bullshit war, and your uncle gets a job going around finding Jews, right? Would be like you got any Jews here. All right, they can just sign this.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Yeah, right Yeah Classic a stop.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Yeah. Yeah, it's like fuck. Yeah, I wish Quiznos existed already. Yeah You're gonna fucking Quiznos right now they're eating a bar of chocolate and a beat This war sucks this war fucking sucks.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
You can do whatever you want. I'm excited to watch Homicide fucking...
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Yeah. And Adam's the fat Korean boy. He's like, go away.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Who are you doing? Is that Julia Childs? My mom. Oh, yeah, it sounds like Julia Childs. Julia Childs, you're doing.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
But I'm not involved in any of that.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
He's saying it's like a family neighborhood where the kids go off, and then the kids... The kids are in Brooklyn with the strollers.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
all right i'm like i'm happy i was worried about because i really don't have nothing but yesterday when that litter box started whining and screaming this is what they do the error lights yeah the error lights are going off this is what this is what i mean he's gonna not have work it's like he's going into the weekend of his life that's not right and then i pulled that i pulled that fucking thing apart and i said god damn it i can fix this thing you fixed it and i fixed it
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
This is fucking perfect for me. I can do this. Perfect. Yeah. All right, we're going to go to the office. I think I might try to draw something like Garfield. That's my plan. Like a new Garfield? Because I can draw as good as Jim Davis, and it's like I just need an idea. I mean, Cat's been taken already.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I was thinking Dog, but there's a lot of that also.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Yeah, but people don't have ferrets anymore.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
So it would have to be something like a talking automatic litter box, something that everybody has, and it's broken.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
And John Arbuckle has to fix it. Oh, yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Yeah, it's a cartoon, of course. How lasagna getting here? Yeah, right. Or how about, you know, it's like a musical, but from Odie's perspective.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
It's a black lady painted like a dog.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
It's fun.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
It's fun, and I called it, Pete. I said, because everybody, we watch it, and it looks like the backgrounds look flat or miscolored or something. Well, it's because they shot it for 3D, and I said, I know this is because this is supposed to be 3D. It came out on Apple TV in 3D.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Complaining about coupons.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Yeah. My TV came with the glasses, and now they don't make TVs that have the fucking 3D anymore, so I don't know.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
wow maybe uh kind of shoot it for not 3d too you gotta think most people watching well they did i mean in the theater they didn't have in 3d yeah it's a home release i think two formats yeah did you go to see it at regal i i i rented it on what's the 4dx thing i keep hearing about it's like you get like like i want to do it i've never done it i saw it i saw um 2049 or whatever uh the blade runner blade runner yeah in
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I'm just going to. You're stopping. I'm hitting the road. Yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I'm going to go for a walk. I started walking also.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
You won't.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
So just add to the list. I'm pretty good at riding the exercise bike. I got a training plan and I stay consistent with it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the watch keeps telling me my cardio health is low, but I've gotten it now to it's almost above average. I've gone up. I've gone up.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I love Snoopy. I love checking the watch, seeing what he's up to. He's just chilling.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
No, he's always doing something.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I'll never have to read again. Ooh, I want to re-watch Wild at Heart. Ooh, is it the Bruce Willis one? Yeah, I haven't thought about what David Lynch movie to watch since his... Demise? Pete, did you just say bad movie? Shut the fuck up. That's interesting.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Nicolas Cage? I thought he was very funny. Willem Dafoe is so scary in that movie. Is that where he's a vampire? No, you're thinking of Embrace of a Vampire? Kiss of a Vampire? No, Vampire's Kiss.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Do you have a building now?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I thought when we were popping with Comptown, I thought about buying an apartment complex in Lagos. Renaming it? Nigeria. Ghana or Nigeria or something. That's cool. Because I thought, how funny would it be if people found out that I'm a landlord in Africa? Yeah, it's the worst kind.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Yeah, right, yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
And I'm like, what?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Jewish village. Why are you upset? If your credit is under 600, you could see a jump of 28 coins. Her bathroom screams at her. I had to fix it. The bathroom started screeching at her.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Yeah, yeah. That was the issue? Yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
And we'll cut that part where I said the N-word sort of. Yeah. So why don't you read the last part? I said the N-word right in the middle of those.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Oh, we got it clean? Yeah, I got it clean. Yeah. I was just kidding. I didn't say the N-word.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
What you're hearing is a... I didn't say any slurs.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Over the last eight years, I have never said a slur.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
i mean you would imagine a guy named uncle ben is probably pretty racist they named him after the black rice guy he showed up at the super bowl party no one invited him he's there he's calling everybody an animal on the tv
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
No, I just mean it's athleticism. There's something animalistic about it. Like a baboon.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
What academic podcast could you have been on?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
He's bringing R2-D2 into the bathroom. You will ignore the obvious. To masturbate to the video of Princess Leia.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
That has to have happened. A nerd that got arrested for child pornography.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Straight to the jury. He will ignore that.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I did not download the child pornography. It's just 400 pounds. Sorry, I figured I'd try it. Whenever the judge goes to do the gavel, he's like... The judge is like, stop. Fucking don't do that. And he goes... I'm not going to fucking tell you again. Don't make the lightsaber noise when I swing my hammer.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Trigonometry. It's not a math podcast.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
It sounds like math.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
You can check out Come Town. It's still online. It's still online.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Who's going to get in trouble?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Barack Obama on there.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
It's Lewis's podcast where he misspelled the N word.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
No, I'm just saying like... What's the name of the married guy who... There's an episode from 10 years ago where you said, on January 23rd, 2025, Bert Kreischel will die.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Just burp, ding, ding, ding. They have to bring him a monster energy with vodka. Ding, ding, ding, ding. Bring my medicine with vodka. Yeah. He has like a fitted like Volcom helmet.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Take his medicine through like a beer pong helmet.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I love that Dan's turned into like a Civil War general.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Dan Soder.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
No, he went gray. He got rid of the beard, but he had a beard for a while.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
But he hits the road.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I can't believe they took down all the Confederate statues, but they left Bob's big boy up. Yeah, that seems like the most racist of the statues. Yeah, I don't really know the context, but seeing that, I don't. Exactly. No one who does that has not liked black people. That's the sheriff from Mississippi burning.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Yeah, yeah. We don't like them in our town.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
That statue's fine.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I brought Lewis to a Bob's Big Boy. Where, in Texas? No, somewhere in the mid, well, I guess Rust Belt.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I love that he started a second real-ass podcast.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
We drove to Detroit.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
He was like, dad? He was a father he never had. Dad?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I didn't imagine that's what he was like. No, it was such a stop sign.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
He was like, dad? No, stray cat. Dad, that's the rental car.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
That's the Bangladeshi man at the Red Roof Inn. No, we were driving back from Detroit and we stopped at a Bob's Big Boy. He had never been. He had never been. And then he pointed that out. He's like, I've never been to a place like this. A place like this.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
No, there's still real-ass podcasts. There's still real-ass? But then there's also Zach and Louis.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
And I'm like, welcome, dude.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I got second place.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Yeah. Okay. So you lost. You're the loser. I got a second one. This is basically like are you smarter than a fifth grader and you've lost to the fifth grader.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
That's about right. Me and Jay are not smarter. And the fifth grader wins. They can't win. It's their show.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I think it's just Zach gained too much weight for it to be real-ass anymore. It's not real-ass.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Second to Lewis. That's what Jared Leto's band, right?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
It's, yeah, he... What's his original band name? You know the guy that wrote 48 Hours, directed the Street Fighter movie?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Yeah. You know Kylie Minogue is in that movie?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
She's been around for a long time. She's been around since the 80s.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Oh, that's what you do with your time. I don't want to be an icon of any kind. No, but gay icon is like the best career. The only icons I want to hear about are the ones on my Windows 98 desktop. Damn.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
i mean i like i feel like zach's new phase where he's just dressing like an optical illusion are too mean to it like he's at the point now where it's like i don't feel comfortable even making fun of it he's a man with a code i'll say that i guess but when i go when i go into that studio and like he's in the he's there's a waiting couch
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I was waiting for the train to come here today, and there was people all waiting for the train. See that guy? Just like Keanu Reeves. Normal guy. Yeah. Well, it costs like $50 to take a lift here. It's insane. Yeah. It's a lot. With the congestion pricing. He lives in Philadelphia.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Yeah, and it's just, well, whatever.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I saw all the people going to work and stuff and I'm like, all these people living their lives. So long, suckers. This is the happiest I've ever seen you.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
It's a set. Don't start on that. Sets are supposed to have wasted space. But not way back there.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
This is actually a fun story. And then you're going to FaceTime. As a throwaway joke, I said that I was friends with Jadakiss on the show. And then Jadakiss' actual friend reached out and was like, I can get Jadakiss for the show.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
He's like, hey, good to see you. His ass begins off the seat, and it goes all the way to the back.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Parents Just Don't Understand.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I know, but it's a song that you know.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
That's a song you know.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I've never watched Lost. I've never watched that.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
The Game of Thrones.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I've been watching The Game of Thrones.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
It would have to be that the president has a very thick African accent. Yeah, yeah. That would have to be it.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
He came in here and he confidently stated, I've never had sex.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
The rest of them are just sort of figures.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Taxi Driver? He's the guy that directed Street Fighter. Oh.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
No, Robert De Niro wrote it, dude.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Yeah. He riffed that out.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
They said roll and then... He rolled. Yeah, he's like, what if I was like a taxi driver? They're like, good, just go with that.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
He's like, get a cab. I got an idea. He riffed it out.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
It's like, I just want to say, Donald Trump, you're crap. Fuck. Ass. You're an ass crap.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I don't know. When I found out, I found that out somehow around the same time that the War Mode guys found out about it, and I didn't watch the clip, but just, I forget, I told Shane. I was like, yeah, apparently Robert De Niro, and then he told me, he's like, oh, yeah, the war, like... Billy, he's like, Billy found that out.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
My shit is glowing green.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
And then I had the mental image of those guys finding out Robert De Niro's dad was gay, which is like the funniest thing I can imagine. The queer-o. So I don't even need to watch the clip just knowing that they have that information. It's like, yeah, it's like seeing like a body being thrown to wooze pigs. Yeah, like, oh.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
they're like that you ever watch that show chernobyl no it's good yeah yeah yeah there's a scene where they have to get these like miners these like russian strip miners to go in and burrow under the um you know the plant and they either like shut the water off or they do something but they tell them they're like look if you go in here you're going to die you're gonna get radiation sickness and uh
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
yeah just what's that all right yeah damn so are you sad at all um no i mean you know i guess some some sentimentality is due but uh yeah the last three years uh a lot of fun and we did stuff and uh
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
yeah you know i had memories of the place i had a had a great time but the reality is it's like it does need to be like a once a week thing we have to yeah and so there's not really uh you know i don't really know what i could contribute to that if it's just interviews so like uh you know i gotta go figure out my own thing yeah move on another stuff yeah yeah
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Zero interest loans? Hampton, I don't know if he wants his story told, but Hampton told me one time his dad threatened to have him sent to jail for not doing his homework. that's great yeah and it was either that or like I guess his dad also had like you know what like geodes are yeah and I guess there was I don't know this is his story to tell so it's not even really that bad geodes his uh
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
His dad made him, like, clean the basement. And so, like, he cleaned the basement for his dad. And I guess his dad had some sort of rare mineral that just looked like dust. So he just cleaned it up. And then, yeah, his dad screamed at him until he pissed himself. He told me that story. I was like, yeah, it sounds like that's pretty awful. Yeah. Yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
um well nick i'm fucking stoked for you man thanks man did you know nick made a short film for the for the show oh yeah yeah it's like amazing it's called schindler's list oh really it's a difference it's one of the nazi schindlers oh and he's like he's like who's going on my naughty i thought he's like i'm going on a run for who sandwiches i know you like turkey club what do you want uh-huh
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
That's why I don't move.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
So the miners are like, they make the head one is Scottish. Everyone has a British accent. But he's like, he's like, fuck it, I'll do it. I'll do it. You can't stop me from doing it. I'm a miner, you know? And then for, I can't remember why, but they have to do it completely naked.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I will not be giving you my keys and I'm going to come here and continue to use the computer. He's just going to come here to vape and go home.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
at like 6 a.m he comes to right here yeah anyway well go watch my special america sweetheart is on netflix right now yeah yeah yeah and i'm on tour the farewell tour i'm doing what you're doing i'm gonna leave comedy for like a year that's the way to do it i mean the reality is it's like i don't in general i just don't think that like it's because of like we got put in i mean i don't think i can operate as a like content creator right you know what i mean
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I can't like I just don't work that way and I feel like it's I used to be able to just sit and do nothing for a long time and then when I had somewhere I'm like I want to do this then I could do it you know and I just I just get back to it where you like let your mind get bored enough to like think of an idea now I want to instead of now I'm forced Stephen King said that is that for creative people boredom is like a very good place to be paraphrasing something um
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
He spooked himself. He wrote something so scary.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Yeah, and it's like, what if the old man in the town was actually a ghost?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Anyway, so guys.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
A flamed asshole. It's about a Mexican asshole.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
you know yeah that's it y'all can do whatever you want don't gossip and don't gaza don't gaza me one thing i wanted to do is like a motorized like a screen that drops down and put a put a projector there so if you wanted to do like uh let's you know you have the guest on you roll the tape yeah and you and you would just you could play it back there yeah right yeah something like that and they put their arm like over this you know so like you're going like yeah i thought like this you're like that
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I thought that would be a fun addition, but for the most part, everything's locked in here.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Yeah, that's true. I finally fixed all the chairs because the chairs had different issues, but now we have four working chairs, and then at some point, if you want to, you would probably need to do a different setup for four chairs on the stage. It would require more lights and figuring out how to frame that.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
so they go in and they they get the fucking they shut the water off and there's this scene of them walking out of the mines like you know in the right stuff when they're like like they're done with the training it's like this and they're completely new like this guy yeah and he's got like a chode and like you can see his penis and he's just like walking up there's like he's like we did it and it's it's on it's awesome you're like fuck yeah dude why would you have to get an egg uh
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
What happened to Kelly Fistuka? Did she get deported? Yeah, she got deported.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I thought about her the other day. I was like, what happened to that loud Australian lady?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Yeah, because I was thinking about, there was a comic in Austin named Joe Schaefer who went to Australia and
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
and then like visited and he came back and he was like dude australia was awesome and then he went back and he was just living there then i saw him like four years later and uh i'm like oh you're you're back he's like yeah and like i guess he just never he just like like was an illegal immigrant there and never did any of the paperwork and they finally caught him and kicked him out of the country and sent him back to texas so oh
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I think he wound up back there. Back in Australia. Yeah, because I think he found success there as a comic. He only did mics in Austin for maybe a year or something. He opened for NatNet. NatNet. Yeah, I guess.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Fix your cat's litter box and find out how by checking out my new podcast, Small Repairs.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
And none of the items we're fixing this week. You're just going to have to wait and see. Could be Garfield alarm clock. Could be automated litter box.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Happy trail.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I think it's like because it was so hot down there. I think it's something like that.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
And listen.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Okay, Ari. I watched an air disasters episode on the helicopter crash.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Why did it crash? I think the pilot was like he got into a situation where there was no visibility and he couldn't really gauge what was going on.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
No, no, that's not what happened. It's like he's making fun of the daughter.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
the pilot just didn't want to let kobe down i think is what it was so he flew when he shouldn't be such a good guy yeah um wait yeah i'm sure the story said it that way what's the worst threat you received for for in his former helicopter pilot they had interview him on the air disaster show and um he's clearly deaf or something because he's like
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Kobe was a man there was no way there was no way that he would ever put him on the mind and now he's like don't interview this guy you know what
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
let him write it down put a statement on the screen somebody has read by yeah yeah get a voiceover yeah he's like comey never told me to hurry up and then we just like smash cut to him and he's sitting there and he's like hurry the fuck up this guy's like what dad
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
what was that you gotta fly faster thanks man thanks Kofi people people took pictures of guns what
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
The Kobe helicopter pilot, neither of them were trans Navy SEALs. Oh. Yeah. I was under the impression that they both were.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Well, because I can only think of three helicopter pilots. It's the trans Navy SEAL one. The trans guy, yeah. And now the two I know about from Kobe. But in my mind, I didn't realize until watching Air Disasters, I thought every helicopter pilot was a trans Navy SEAL. Yeah. Because I can't, that's the only one I've ever seen. Who knew? Yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
It's like if I see somebody with a beanie that has cat ears on it.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
yeah i'm like oh that's a trans person yeah you know because so far it's a hundred percent hit rate and the same was true for helicopter pilots until i saw i like the post binary that's a new one yeah where it's just like we're just doing every where it's clown core full clown core i've been told comedians are supposed to move on from but it's like from gender but it's like we're supposed to not talk about it anymore
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
His dad has diarrhea. My dad has diarrhea. I had to take my dad to a specialist in Scottsdale. It's pretty severe, explosive diarrhea.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I feel like I... What are you saying? What's that? You're saying I'm worse than a trans person? First of all, that's insulting to both of us. That's insulting to them. To both of us. Yeah, both of you. You said trans people are barely above you, the scum of the earth.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
I'm saying it? I thought he said it. You're going to get us in Seth Simons' latest newsletter.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Bill Simmons. Bill Simmons. Sent to my email. I read every one of his newsletters. Bill Simmons? No, no. Seth. Somebody signed me up for it, and I get all of them. What's he on about these days? They're pretty good. I don't know. I mean, it's like... His form is good. His function is off. Everyone he's gone after and continues to go after is now worth like hundreds of millions of dollars.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
So it's like I really can't find it to be like, how could he say that about Shane? It's a cosign.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Which is actually, it's a psychological diarrhea.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
no he he'll he'll like he'll like uh quote podcasts and stuff and even transcribed it just makes it funnier yeah it's so funny yeah when you see the transcript and i'm sitting there laughing you know i'm like yeah like nice that was a good joke yeah yeah yeah hey tell your father to say it to my face if he's not such a coward
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
yeah it's a lot of people don't know that it's it's a mental it's like asthma it's they're making it up the body's yeah yeah the doctor said it's psychosomatic does that sound believable yeah just break shit it's a walk in the best buy and it'll be like a galaxy note tablet 50 off and just you know clean up on aisle three it really escalated after october 7th it's well it's deal related mostly actually speaking my dad in new jersey he has deals he has a bone to pick
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Because he has psychological diarrhea, man.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Much like diarrhea. Yeah. Psycho diarrhea. Sour cherry gushers. Lucy is the nicotine gum with diarrhea in it. Not the flavor, of course, but the experience. Haven't you wanted to eat a piece of gum and have diarrhea in your mouth? The Willy Wonka.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Yeah. That's Harry Potter, right? Where they have a jelly bean that's every flavor. There's like a crap one. There's one that's diarrhea.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
The James Bond. Yeah. Which I just watched. I re-watched the first 15 minutes of GoldenEye the other day. Oh, that's great.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Ari Shaffir - Episode 90
Well, I wanted to just see the guy jump off the dam. Yeah, it's cool. I was like, that's awesome. Yeah, it's cool. I was sitting, I was walking, I was like, what if I could do something like that? And I was like, what am I thinking of? I'm like, that guy jumping off the dam in GoldenEye. Killing himself. And I put it on, and I watched that.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
talk about sauna max is building one in his backyard right now and he's been going on r slash like sauna and there's like a there's a guy who's i think he's always been a mystery but he wrote like the book on it and they've to all these guys that do diy saunas he's like they're uh he's the goat in fucking finland they have like a world series of sauna and it's insane because they crank the heat up to like 220 degrees
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
He's really smart, dude.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
That is a funny word, actually, sneaker.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
They say trainers in the UK. I like that better.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
All right, guys. Today we want to talk to you about Acorns. Acorns makes it easy for everyone to start saving and investing. In fact, you can get started with just your spare change. Plus, you can earn bonus investments for buying what you need from the brands you love. Small steps today can save a huge impact on your future. From Acorns, mighty oaks do grow. Grow your oak.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Is that what that movie's about? Guys, every New Year we set all sorts of big goals, but only 8% of people will stick with their resolutions all year long. What are your New Year's resolutions?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
With Acorns, you can lock in years and years of healthy money habits in just five minutes. That is all the time it takes to open your account and start automatically saving...
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
investing your money so that it has a chance to grow in past years i've had resolutions like to stop vaping and uh to stop lying and i've like like 92 of americans i blew it but this year i'm going to make my resolution using acorn to fresh to get that fresh start feeling that is a nice feeling when you feel like you have a fresh start you're gonna feel like that when you leave atlanta Yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
But if you bought it six piece at a time, it would be like $25. Gotcha. Gotcha. Yeah. All right, guys, you don't need to be rich. Acorns lets you invest with the spare money you've got right now. You can start with $5 or even just your spare change. Guys, head to acorns.com slash TAFS or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future today.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Much like that sushi thing, you know, you got to start thinking about these like the, you know, your money and protecting it. So guys, paid non-client endorsement compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns. Tier one compensation provided. Investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com slash TAFS.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Thank you so much, guys.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
I remember my dad had one of those when he was driving us to school. Yeah. And he'd do it while he was driving. I was like, I can't wait to be a man. A 90s man. Yeah, some very 90s. A 90s boomer. 90s boomer man thing. Yeah. And I was like, how does it even work?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Yeah. Do you have any plans for when you become like a comedy superstar successful?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
No, come on. You got to think bigger than that.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Yeah. So now it's on the wide right now. So all three of us are in the shot. Now me.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Now you. Now you and Nick.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
You can try being a director. So that's one, two, and three. So say like now to one. Now to. Or no, you do it.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
You're like someone in the control room.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
okay i do know who billy oh yeah he's the little monster from monsters inc the green one oh he had a run though yeah that's a good move he's also like the the one of the clippers celebrity fans he's always like been a you know you know how like jack that's a choice to make jack nicholson was lakers he was like the clippers one that's a very like that's a that's a man frankie muniz from malcolm in the middle were the two celebrity clippers fans
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
And now Vince Staples also, I think, is a Clippers fan.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Andrew Schultz once again. You can tell from his look. Look at the look he gives him. Look at the way he's looking at Andrew. And don't get me started on Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee is Adolf Hitler. He's basically Adolf Hitler. Andrew Santino is an active homosexual with stage three HIV. Yeah. And now he's got a basketball team. Good for him. Yeah. Now he opened a new stadium in Englewood.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
The Clippers have a new stadium.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
I hate. They should go away. I'm a Lakers fan.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Yeah, I know. It's just unwired. They should go away forever. But they have that Steve Ballmer is their owner, the guy from Microsoft. The guy from, like, yeah, that video in the 90s where he's, like, sweating and he's like, Windows 95, Windows 95. That guy owns the Clippers. Really? Yeah, yeah. What is a Clipper? It's a boat. Yeah. Gotcha. It's a team named after a boat.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
They used to be the San Diego Clippers, I believe, before they moved to LA. Yeah, yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
WALL-E is so good. Yeah. I like that movie Coco. Have you seen that one? That one's good too. I watched it on a plane and I screamed, cried. I was like, ah! But my mom was sick. She had cancer. So I was like watching on the way to see her. And it's a movie about teaching kids about what dying is. And they do it in the nicest way.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
I wasn't, I didn't actually scream cry.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
That would remind me of my, listen, I didn't know, I thought it was the Mexico style Pixar. I didn't know that was about the land. Watch the Christopher Reeves documentary. But what it's about, and they tell kids this, is really nice. They say if people die, you should keep loving them. How nice is that?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
And people will, like, in the land of the dead, they keep existing as long as people still remember them. And so that's why you need to remember people. It's very nice to tell kids that about the worst thing ever, you know?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
At some point. What, the LA fire is going to be bigger than Adolf Hitler?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
We know Jesus. And then... Pontius Pilate. And Judas. We know his mom. The mom. The dad.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
He's from the band Boys of the 21st Century.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
No, he was a similar.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Yeah, and that guy's mentally ill now. Is he crazy now?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
That's pretty cool. That's like something Elliot Page would do. And I think it would go a little something like this.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
We know. That is such a funny thing. Whatever that is, it's so funny. You're literally not in your... You're, like, visiting New York.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
So you have to go to a lemon place and get lemons and a Ziploc place and get Ziplocs.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
I'm just saying that, like, you're not, like, picking them up at the apartment, like, where you live, right? But you're, like, on vacation. You're like, I gotta, like, this is part of, like, any time, you know, like... You have this on you at all times?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
you straight for like two days i'm not saying it's just impossible but what i'm saying is it's deliberate right it's not like you're at home and you got lemons and you're like oh you know like i for my water later today i'm just saying that that's something that's uh you're principled man i'm praising you let me tell you something cut up two of them boys put them in that bag man two two three days you straight is that eight slices
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Can I ask you a question? There's an Atlanta fast food chain that they just had opened around like near my crib like a year ago. What's it called? The Slutty Vegan. Okay. So I went in there and they were like – I think it's just a little bit much the way they talk to the customers.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
They're like, have you been here before? I said, no. And they said, we've got a virgin. And then everyone in the kitchen says like, virgin. And it's just like they make the staff do this to everyone. It's a little bit much.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
They call you a slut or a virgin. And have you been there before? No, it's not.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Or you go to a place and that's all you can eat.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
You had a taste for it. For blood. For blood.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
I started comedy in D.C., yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Everyone's from like the surrounding areas pretty much.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
We have New York, New York.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
We have the Lux or the Pyramid. Basically, it's every culture.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
i for some reason as a kid i got obsessed with the george foreman grill like the infomercial and i was like dad please get one for our family i was like you'd be an idiot not to it knocks out the fat i was like and he's like i don't know it doesn't seem like we need i was like do you care about our family like it knocks out the fat do you see like
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
I don't know why I really wanted us to have one, and he bought one.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
like they're called cake testers to see if a cake is done.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
And you put them in and if it's hotter than your lip, then it's above body temperature and it's done. That's what my roommate who was a chef used to do when he made steak. Anyway, guys, right now, Oh, draft Kings. Have you used draft Kings before, man? Okay. Do you like, um, betting on sports?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
I love it. I can't get enough of it, and I win every time. And right now, new players can play just $5 to get 250 casino spins on a featured game with promo code TAFS. That's 250 chances to win on us. After you play just $5 or more, don't wait. The best rewards and the brightest moments are waiting at the Golden Nugget Casino online.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Whether you're spinning slots, doubling down on Blackjack, playing roulette, or any of their exclusive games, you can't find them anywhere else. Make any moment golden with Golden Nugget Online Casino this year. Gambling problem call 800... Let's run that again. Gambling problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER. Please play responsibly. 21 plus. Wow. I wish maybe you're moving to L.A.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Just try to do the game like do this.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Wait, wait. Gambling problem. Say this.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
You could be like a guy that does this. That would be great. The disclaimer part.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
You've never left Atlanta? This is your first time leaving Atlanta today?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
You ever golf around there?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
We got to get into golf now that we're in our 30s. Yeah, that's the thing.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Nearly. I only have three years to go.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
I'm turning 40 in about three months, actually.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
I wouldn't have thought that. You look young. I know, yeah. You look young. But it's not going to last. I'm going to look like disgustingly ugly one day.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
I have been. Thank you. I fixed my skin. You noticed.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
I mean, we hadn't met till today, but you didn't notice that I fixed my skin.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
My skin has been bad for like four years.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Yeah. Nick gave me a great compliment the other night at dinner. You said that I was glowing. He looked a lot better.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
We met when I was a tutor. I was big brother, little sisters. What was your dermatitis? No, it's, yeah, something, seborrheic, seborrheic something or other. Seborrheic dermatitis? I think so. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's like related to dandruff. Whatever.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
It's really embarrassing, dude.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Like a roller skater.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
You got roasted. Yeah. The worst one you got to have covered. No, it's crystal light. Have you tried this? Because I'm trying to lose weight, it's crystal light. I'm trying to make a change.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
You're probably used to this from your time in fraternities.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
This is kind of a hazing situation right now.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
If you say something is a stain on our nation's history, it's a bad thing.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
He said that because he's scared of you because you have a scary— You're always looking for a way to ruin the movie.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
You have to make a choice, actually, right now.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
I appreciate that. I appreciate that. You know what? You kind of mediated. You kind of got things okay.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
I was nothing.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Like Johnny Appleseed, yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Are you only bringing a bandana's worth of your stuff to L.A.? Yeah. What do you think? What's the priceless thing that you're bringing to L.A. when you're moving? Come on, brother. Do you want a stick for your lemons?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Pete, can we get him a stick?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
put your lemons on a stick yeah i think it's a cool style yeah man do you have any other any unique uh ticks like that i got some fake airpods on me right now wait they don't work no they they work but they fake oh they're from like the deli
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Yeah, yeah. And you're like, I'm on my AirPods. I don't know why. Steve Jobs wouldn't. He wouldn't do that. He wouldn't do that at all. What was your first show when you started to stand up? What compelled you to start standing up?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
They, like, get your enemy's home address. Yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Yeah, big ass teeth.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
The Steve Harvey's. Man, what? I'm going to go to Steve Harvey's teeth guy.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
You know what I'm saying? Well, I don't want to sell you off of L.A., but the air quality is probably bad for your asthma right now with all these damn fires. Yeah, man. Seems like you should be moving here to New York.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Huggins lost his laptop in the fire.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Yeah, but those are guys that are hippies that don't want to leave their... you know their intentional living we're part of the fire man it's all boomer hippies fire you have fire you just gotta be positive yeah fucking remember the 60s i i had unprotected sex twice 45 years ago i'm che guevara
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
you got it I ordered one on Uber Eats Uber shits no I'm for real I ordered it from Home Depot Home Depot right now Uber seats I got I ordered Settlers of Catan the other day the board game on Uber Eats yeah you can get Target Target delivers on Uber Eats they used to have like Prime now you remember that yeah I remember that that shit was awesome yeah it'd be like fucking like 10pm and I was like I'm gonna play Luigi's Mansion
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Oh, like his sliding door?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
But he's still doing InfoWars. I thought he was going to lose everything, right?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
You have to do the gossip style. Yeah. People are saying. Yeah. That's Trump style. He does people are saying. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it is really fucking crazy looking.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Especially for the beginning of this year, 2025, and then we got Trump. It's kind of going to be wild. It hadn't dawned on me. I've kind of been not paying attention to much, but now I'm like, God damn, this year's going to be crazy.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Yeah. Do you think that the Kamala ladies are going to do January 6th for her? Nah. It's January 10th. January 10th. Well, maybe next year they might just reschedule.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Just without incident. But that's the trick because they're going to be like, we're in the clear because January 6th has passed, and then they just choose January 12th or something.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
And the door gets busted down.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
They're going to come get you, bro.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
We're in New York. We're the greatest city in the world. Let's see.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Oh, my phone's in the office right now.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
What did you say? Can I see it on your phone? You'll check it on your phone later. What's the threat? The trick doesn't work. Just let Mandel see, I guess, because he's the guest. What did he say?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
I don't want no involvement. You get 20 years, man. I just need you to feature while you're representing.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Just do your 20.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
For your closing statement. Get ready to...
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
i hope you're good at washing clothes i will not he's not good at washing clothes i'm not gonna survive i'm not gonna survive you down there i'm gonna go islam though the second i get there that's a good idea yeah i'm gonna be the first white islam now you definitely be the first one would you grow a beard i can't physically i can't yeah yeah i'm not gonna join the nazis
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Oh, sorry. I lied. I got it on DoorDash. Actually, I shouldn't have lied to you.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
I'm not going to go to jail, dude. I can't. Seriously. But if it's a federal crime, there is a Jewish... The Jews of Mississippi State Penitentiary. There's a Jewish prison for white-collar crime. There's one prison where they have kosher food and stuff, and you just lie that you need to go there. Wow. And you get to play tennis and stuff. Wow. I'll go to that one.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Come on. What are you saying?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Because he's moving to L.A. You can't say it on your spine list.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
They're not looking into the future.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
It's been a lot of fun, man. You're the man.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Is he selling you? Is that selling you?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Thank you, Mr. Wonderful.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
it's a spot down the street with kazakhstan hot dogs you know yeah we say that kind of stuff all the time actually and it's just like okay bro like that's that's not worth more rent yeah but you have to do it for girls if they want to go to queens for a kazakh hot dog you gotta be like yeah that sounds like an adventure yeah yeah but you're just where y'all be finding this stuff
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
for real yeah well the nice thing is queens is it's technically the most diverse place in the world yeah like they're like uh you can go down a city block and there's like three different languages being spoken but there's like there's like uh what are you doing oh my i mean what is he's got little candies in there little Reese's mini cups that he's he drinks he's drinking some Reese's
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Are you doing a physical comedy?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Man, is that a thing about you?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
My grandfather, he got a girlfriend for like after my grandmother died. Yeah. And she sent me to go get her water and she sent me back because it didn't have lemon in it. And I was like, Rebecca, you're a bitch. I hate you. You're not my real grandma.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Why are you so anti-New York?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
I feel like you have very particular things about you that you can now list on our podcast and we can enjoy.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Oh, yeah, like purification. It's purified water.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
No, but that's purified crap, dude. I'm spring boy.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
The tap water's good in New York. I'm not trying to sell you or anything. I drink it even when I'm on the road. You say good as in good?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
You don't want to even be caught. Because someone might make a homophobic joke.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
If someone sees you drink out of a hose, they might call you gay for it or something.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
No, because a hose is technically like a penis, like a tubular penis.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
People call their cock their hose sometimes.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
I'm from the deep south. That's what L.A. is good for. You'll find some of those people.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
They got press kits. Yeah. You'll have a deck.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Wait, how'd you fit those lemons in that bottle, though? That's crazy. In this one, man. It looks like they're too big.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Oh, you do? Is that you drink a lot of water because of it?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Yeah, I feel that way too when I'm drinking water. Like I'm a good boy. I feel like I'm being a good boy.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
He takes business meetings with the Japanese in there. Yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
The dry sauna has wood paneling and stuff. It's quite nice.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
Do you not take your shirt off at the pool?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
I had a friend like that with a chest concavity.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Mandal - Episode 89
And he also had to keep his shirt on when we were kids.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Aaron Chen - Episode 87
Yeah. They said that the show ended because it ended to me.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Aaron Chen - Episode 87
So, Pete, what church, you, Adam Friedland, Pete, what church did you go to growing up, huh?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
First person with a million followers on Twitter. Is that true?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
You ever see the show Black Men Revealed? It was, I think, D.C. No, it wasn't. It was like I think they filmed it in L.A., but it was on like I saw it at my cousin's house the first time. And I think it was on a channel called TV One. Oh, yeah, TV One. That's owned by Byron Allen. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
So there was a show on that called Black Men Revealed that was one of the best things I've ever seen. What were they revealing? Just, like, what kind of pubic hair they like. You told me that. You know, like, how loud black women are. I mean, it was like Sam Hyde came up with it. It was really funny. What kind of pubic hair do they like? Au naturel is the exact words the guy said. French. Yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Oh, natural.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Elon's... People said, are you John Cena's the Marine?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Your dick is stealing valor.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
That's the important part. One month free. You have nothing to lose.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Nothing says confidence like packages sent to your house.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
i had my name at mac.com back when they launched i bought the apple my just my name yeah at mac.com and i lost the login information for it and like once every two years i'd be like maybe there's a way and there isn't no and it drives me fucking insane every time same thing you didn't even have a phone you can't even get mac.com you can't get those emails anymore no it's icloud you have to have an icloud and you get that for free when you buy the phone yeah no
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Having to slink down to the mailbox. Yeah, you want real confidence, you go into the CVS with a megaphone. And from the door, you say, I need Viagra. My dick doesn't work. If any of the middle-aged Dominican ladies in the pharmacy want to meet me in wherever the dumpsters are.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
You think there's a guy in Hamas who's like, this is my favorite podcast, and he hears that, and he's like, what? What the fuck? Yeah, the guy's act... I'm canceling my Patreon subscription to the Jewish podcast. The guy's act is like... Someone hand me the Starlink. I need to cancel... I need to cancel my Patreon subscription to the Jewish Hour.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Yeah, his catchphrase... Wait, what is the name of the podcast?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
He crushes.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Sebastian was in that top five list of tours the last year. I didn't realize there was that many Italian people in America. Yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
I don't know. I mean, I was under the impression that he just brings out the Italians. He was like the white ethnic.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Oh, Filipino. Filipinos, yeah. Because Filipino means guy. Well, Pinoy means guy also. Pinay is girl. You would think it would be Vaginoy, but it's Pinay. And then Filipina is the girl. Brandon was telling me that... It's spelled with an F.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
No, they give it to like Bob Dylan and stuff.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Oh, the Medal of Honor is for the military.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
She's not even an American. Neither is Bono. Oh, I didn't hear Bono. Yeah, Bono. I heard Denzel, and I heard George Soros.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Does George Soros have a nationality? He doesn't, right? He's Hungarian. I think he's American. He's like the octopus that lives over the globe. Yeah. What? He doesn't have a country that he belongs to.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
People are obsessed with George Soros. Everything you've heard about George Soros, now imagine the guy... He looks like, who's that guy that owns, who's that Greek guy that owns Gristiti's? Yeah. Katz's. Katz's Mutsaluti or whatever.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Oh, really? Yeah. Why? Is she nuts or something?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
You know who's great? It's Billy Joel's daughter on Instagram.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
We dated for about 45 years. Yeah. Yeah. No, because it's like, you know, she's like, you know, she's Billy Joel's daughter, so she'll make music and stuff. Right. But it's fine. You know, I mean, it's... But then the comments are all people who have, like,
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
watched her grow up they're just like these like long island mutants that are like yeah you're so beautiful you've always been beautiful your work is beautiful i love you beautiful blossomed into a piano woman yeah yeah yeah exactly yeah i check in on the jackson kids to make sure they're okay with no parents
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
And then his daughter, the girl he had with, is in Nosferatu. Who's that? Lily Rose Depp. That's Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson's daughter. Yeah, daughter.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Yeah. I was saying it to Pete. It's like, there's all this to-do about him remaking this movie that's just Dracula. It is just Dracula. It's like, you know, everyone's done Dracula. We've done Dracula. Was it Soros-coded? Huh? Soros-coded? No, it's just Dracula. There's no anti-Semitism? It's good. It's a good Dracula movie.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Oh, that's right.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
What was that? He would do his bit. He would do it on stage. Moshe would do it. About meeting Snoop Dogg, and he'd connect, and he'd get his email, and he's like, can I get your email? Snoop Dogg's like, you know, it's busy, so he's like, yeah, it's... Snoop Dogg at Gmail.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
But the witch is better than the original Nosferatu. Yeah. The witch is great.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
I'm trying to think what's the scariest thing I've seen in a movie. That was the scariest thing I've ever seen. You know in Star Wars when they're in the trash room? That's scary. Thankfully, R2-D2 figures out the buttons. Every time I see that, I'm like, are they going to get out of here? Oh, good. R2-D2 figured out the buttons.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
They stole a Dumb and Dumber joke in that Apple TV series about the World War II pilots. Did you watch it?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
It's too distracting. They're so handsome, those guys. The fucking hair is nuts. They're so good looking. The hair is insane. I can't get over how good looking- Austin Butler comes back and like 30 of his friends have been killed. Uh-huh. And he's like- They crash every time. 30 guys died already.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
And then he's got like fucking like teased and like perfect, you know, like he's going to go shoot a watch ad.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
and then he licks a metal pole and that's yeah yeah yeah oh the joke is like you know a guy spills the salt and they're like you gotta throw the salt and he throws the entire thing that's funny you know they're like you're not supposed to throw the whole thing it's like i'm the i'm the guy from the south i'm the world war ii guy from the south i don't know any better pilot in georgia we throw the whole salt because i'm from the south well i was i
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Ratatouille.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
He lives under a hat. He's a live action... No, he's from FX. He's a mouse that lives under a hat.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Patton Oswalt.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Do you think Patton Oswalt's penis looks like him? I guarantee you it does.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
It would be funny if he had like a Brian Posehn penis. Right. And Brian Posehn had a Patton Oswalt penis. And that's why they became friends. They just clicked together. Like the hole is all wide. You know what I mean? It's like short and stubby and it's got like a wide hole. Yeah. I can see it. He nuts. It just looks like a stick of gum. It just comes out. Like an old 90s printer. It's a solid.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
I wonder if his house is on fire right now. Hopefully not.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
But it's actually about a different celebrity. That's not Snoop Dogg's. He changed it to Snoop Dogg, but the actual celebrity and the real story is just as funny. Yeah. Yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Dude, he gets fucked up constantly. He keeps fucking himself up. Somebody told me. Was that you that was like, I heard it was gambling debts? That was a big internet rumor. Somebody said it was gambling debts, and it's like, who is Jay Leno like?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
And I bought it for $800 million. Yeah. And, you know, it's good. The pedals make the inflatable wheels move.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Yeah, it does feel like Jerry Seinfeld's a rich guy that started buying cars because he's already got the watches or whatever.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Right, Jay Leno was a car guy that became rich. Now he's like, well, instead of having children, I'm going to owe guys around town $50. For my car? Yeah, and have the biggest car collection in the world.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
His email is... Leave that in. And Moshe met him, and he goes...
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
I saw a very funny looking pit bull the other day. Who, my dog? No, it was on the street. It had like a Chinese grandma face. So it was like judgmental. Yeah. Yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Uh-huh. I can't find it, dude. That's fine. It used to be my background. Is that a thing about them? They wear a mask on the sub? I guess everybody does.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Before COVID.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Yeah, it makes sense. Yeah. Not that I wear a mask on the sub. No. Or anywhere else for that matter. Yeah. Or wash my hands or do anything.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
I just changed it just to my girlfriend. It used to be my girlfriend. And it's crazy because that, even at the time, it was probably already a 20-year-old picture of Steve Harvey.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
The fire and Christmas. Yeah. Yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
I hope it turns out that this started because of a menorah. If it was a menorah that started the fires... We can't take that right now. Dude, how great is this Indian thing? I wouldn't say anything, but I would be doing a lot of smirking.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
I'll tell you, the government efficiency office, they're going to blow all the money on all the ink they've got to spend on business cards. Is the Parks Department's head by, like, two-top with Rajan Dajandian, Dadan Dalandalan? Where's their Ellis Island? They should have to, if any group of people should have to go through Ellis Island, it's the Indians. With new, like, shorter last names.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Can you imagine, yeah, can you imagine them, an Indian guy, there's an Italian guy that's like, uh, uh, Vito Vidigliari, and they're like, Joe Smith, you know, and then an Indian guy. Yeah, they should all be named Steve Harvey. And they're like, what's your name? And he goes, oh!
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Who's the NSA guy?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Cash Patel. That guy's awesome. Anytime you see a picture of him, he's like fucked up. Yeah, his eyes are bugging out. He looks like Gary Busey just whispered something to him. He's like, what the fuck, dude?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Trump retweeted some Jeffrey Sachs clip just yesterday. And it'll be interesting to see. He's going to drive everyone insane. We're going to invade Mexico. Whatever our policy is, is going to be fucking nuts with the Middle East. It's going to be like pro-Al Qaeda, anti-Israel.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
What could we even do up there? You put missiles there?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
It'll be actually Greenland. But we should have Greenland. Yeah, why not? It belongs to what? Denmark or some bullshit? What the fuck are they doing with it? Yeah, they don't deserve it, honestly.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Nothing's changed.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
You watch West Wing and it's like all the same shit.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Yeah, the closet door is slightly closed going back 20 years and that's it. What's that? The rest of it, the social issues are the fucking same. Everything's the same.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Yeah, like, you know, LGBT stuff. Q didn't exist at the time.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Isn't it crazy that... got, like, reappropriated? It is weird. There's an, like, in, like, string theory or something, there's, like, a universe that exists, like, right here where it's LGBTF. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, there's another timeline where we're just... Another slur. Yeah. They're like, we're faggots. Like, I'm not... Well, I identify as a faggot. You know what I mean?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
But there, if you say they're like... I majored in fag culture. In the time cop alternate timeline where everyone has a cool 80s mullet, but everything else is the same, except that's also... It's the bad word. It's the bad word. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We should probably... We should bleep because right now we're talking in the context of... We're in that universe. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
We're in the quantum universe. realm that would be great if there was like they got the like season 35 of quantum leap and that was the episode the n-word is a good word yeah where everybody yeah white people are called just keep remembering scott bacula being like why is everybody calling me he closes the mirror and he's white yeah right yeah
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
I got to try one of these for the new Wallace and Gromit movie.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
We're going to spruce up the Cornbread THC read by telling the story. Have you ever met the comic Jake Young? No. He probably would have been doing stand-up around your time in New York. Yeah, he was a D.C. guy. He was a funny guy. He was a big, fat guy, but he was one of those nerd comedians. He would do comic book comedy and stuff like that. And he got an opportunity to open for Brian Posehn.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Because his dick looked like... Yeah, exactly, because he looked like Patton Oswalt, and Brian Posehn was like,
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
you remind me of my friend's penis or however brian talks or my penis yo right my own penis you look like my penis he said it he said you look like my penis well you're brian posain you know smokes weed or whatever and so he asked our friend uh jordan to like roll him a joint so that in the green room he could be like fucking smoke weed or whatever brian posain just seemed cool
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
and you know he's like a nerd so he had jordan roll the joint a month in advance okay and so he was holding on to the brian posey and joint that he would present in the green room to show that he smoked weed and then he went to go see i think it was wally i think wally was the movie they went to go see in the movie theater and like jordan was like do you smoke weed at all and he's like no and
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
And he was like, I think you should probably try to smoke weed first. So he's like, well, like he's like, but I only have the Brian Posehn joint. He's like, I'll roll you another joint. And so he smokes a Brian Posehn joint. And I guess he's upset about smoking his special Brian Posehn joint. So they're in Wally. He's being a baby. And he's not feeling very good.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
And he started, he had to leave halfway through the movie because he thought the people sitting next to him were texting the police that he was high. Yeah. He's an adult, man. He was like 29.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Yeah, I really don't trust anybody that starts late.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
I don't know what I'm talking about. Doug Benson is old as shit, though. Yeah. He was Adam Sandler's roommate, right? He's like, I think he's like 85. He's Shecky Green's roommate. Yeah, he's old. Him and Dick Gregory were contemporaries.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Every time you say the name, it grows on me a little bit more. You like the name? Cornbread THC. Because initially it's like, because it's a gummy. I just think of that movie Life. Cornbread shouldn't have a gummy texture. Do you remember that movie Life with Eddie Murphy? But then, you know, then you associate it with getting high. Yeah. And you're like, actually.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
It's awesome. Okay. And it's cheap, too. That's the best part. And anyone can make it.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Although I don't really like sweet cornbread.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
I like it just plain.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Making yourself a cornbread dinner with a glass of red wine.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
You take the macaw out of the cage. You set it down at the dinner table. You light your candelabra. Yeah. Guys, you open your time lock safe when you pull out the latest Garfield comic. The one you're allowed a day.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
They're very smart birds.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
I found a hurt bird when we were in Canada. It got hit by a car. It went viral. It was in the middle of the street. What kind of bird? It was a crow. And then all the other crows were in the trees screaming. And the thing was stunned in the street. So I took it out of the street and I was like... you know, I don't know what to do with it. So we found an animal hospital down the block.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
And so we took it to the animal. And they snapped its neck. They did. They probably killed it as soon as I brought it in there. But they were like... Seagull style. Like a bird chiropractor. I think didn't... I showed them, I talked to them for a second. I think they said that the bird was just like in shock. It didn't look like it was like seriously hurt. It just got dinged. Yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
But I like to imagine that bird somewhere. Like, if I were in the fires in Los Angeles... You'd go for the birds. I'd be like, well, they would come and fucking... Oh, save you. Save me. And then I'd be flying off with crows.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
A downloading child pornography of crows. I think that's what it's called.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
I think that's what it is. I think that's probably what it is. Pedophile of crows. What is a downloading child pornography of crows? Birds for 800. Show me your bird for 800. No, that's wrong. Challenge.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
A lot of gun and shoot Ken Jennings. Three, two, one. Just like a black smoke rifle. Just the Gaston gun with the bell on the end. Just kill some Asian lady that's a producer. Challenge failed. Okay. You say challenge failed after you kill the lady. I'm sorry. This is my first time on Jeopardy. This is my first time. I've never been on fucking Jeopardy before. I never seen the show, dude.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
I thought it was fucking the most dangerous suitcase with Howie Mandel.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
That's crazy. That whole era is just gone. And I don't think people will ever be nostalgic about it or care about it. About what? I don't know, like Williamsburg?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
You know what's crazy? I think about this all the time. Nobody refers to this as the 20s. That's already taken. This is just bullshit. Yeah. It's just perpetual bullshit. The last decade. When I was 21, I was like, man, I'm going to be like a 20s guy. I imagine myself, I had like a big roadster. Yeah, no, I thought that.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
I hate that. I don't like the way it feels.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
There was like a penny farthing style. Yeah, but it was a mishmash of all sorts of things. Like the pants were too high. It was weird. You did that book of them.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Yeah. In 2009, Urban Outfitters. Yeah, exactly. I mean, that's peak.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Yeah. Urban Outfitters are still around. There's like one or two of them. No, they're still around. They're still around. You can steal. It's like Hudson News. I always thought it would be cool to go there. You go there with like $500, dude, and you buy every...
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
album there to create the sickest record collection of all time people come over like oh my god dude pink for the pink floyd ass you got pink floyd ass album you have pink floyd's ass asses by pink floyd and metallica
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
You brought it up.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
I feel like that meme could have just been the picture of Mari and then just the N-word. Yeah. It would work the same.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
His pager exploded.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Well, he had a seizure while driving. They don't know.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Do you remember when Sean Patton and Sean O'Connor and a different guy went on Tyra Banks' show?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Yeah, yeah, yeah. With the head like Sean O'Connor, like a whale puppet. Mm hmm. And then like they were like trying to set comedians up like it was like women have a hard time meeting guys. So we got three comedians. Right.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
And so then they're all they all acted as weird as possible. So, like, Sean Patton goes to a bar with somebody.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
He's like, yeah, I want to pitch some jokes I'm working on. You know, and the jokes are, like, just the most offensive, you know, things. So, prolapsing. He's like, just black bitches. You know, I mean, it's like, you know, I forget what it was. But I brought it up to him one time, and he was, like, mortified. Yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
She seems like she doesn't really care about anybody.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Foaming. Yeah, there was one episode where they had, like, it was a guy that worked on the show. It was, like, either an intern or a producer or something that wanted to, like, propose to his girlfriend. And so he decided to propose to her on the show, but they were going to trick her. And so they film it where he goes to, like, meet up with her, and then he starts breaking up with her on camera.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
And this woman's, like, reacting, and then he's like, actually, I'm just kidding. Like, do you want to get engaged? And she's just like, I...
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
what yeah you know did he yell tyra prank because that was what she yelled i don't recall her yelling tyra prank i remember being like i was a kid and i saw it and i'm like this is fucked up yeah i mean it's like stew yeah why would you do that yeah it's it's like uh that era was really good but i think someone died from jenny jones so they had to like pull it back that was before that though was that before that yeah yeah i think like but that's like for me and that gets pinned on jenny jones and it's not even really like her fault no
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
so you're in la are you like the wildfires are you like demanding respect for that yeah i i definitely used it last night to gain sympathy with new york firefighters no with a crowd in washington dc oh okay that joke didn't work i keep i get like the like updates on my phone or whatever and they're like oh billy crystal's house he lost his house yeah
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
It's like those guys were gay with each other. They were butt-fucking each other anyways. Is that what they were doing? Yeah, and then one of them took it too far.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
He said, I have a crush on you. Yeah, he was like, I have a crush on my straight friend. But they flew there together, I think. He's like, I got something to tell you on Jenny Jones. They were fucking each other in the hotel, and they went on the show. There was a show called Richard Bay. I think it was like a Nancy Pelosi's husband kind of situation. With a hammer? Yeah, it was a date gone wrong.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
They blamed it on Jenny Jones.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Yeah. The Steve Wilco show is pretty good.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
He took what really worked about really worked, but then it was also so produced. I remember they had an episode where there was a guy that was like, I'm not, it was like the title of the episode was, I'm not going to stop having sex with my 12 year old daughter. Yeah. And then he takes the chair away. Of Crows. That's one of those. The 12-year-old daughter of Crows.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
He brings on the guy, Steve Wilkos, and the guy's like, I'm not going to stop. And Steve Wilkos just takes a chair, and his thing was throwing the chair into the flats and having the chair stick into the flats. It's impressive. And then he'd go... get the hell off my show. And it's like, well, why do you bring him on the show in the first place?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Drawings of Patton Oswalt's penis.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Then Maury comes in, who the fuck mixed up the Patton and Brian Posehn penis drawings?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
It was that fag. Mark, you can't say that. At tonight's show, we have a man from another dimension where faggot means c***.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
And I'm like, there's no way I'm ever going to care about that.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
They're like, yeah. You should have taken it too far. You should have just started mad for me. Everyone's shocked and you just quietly ejaculate on the floor. What? I'm not gay. As it continues to seep out over the floorboards. What?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
I can't imagine there's anything in Billy Crystal's house. It's like a glass coffee table. And then marble. Just a bunch of marble. And he's bound to slip in there and split his fucking head open at some point.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Oh, even more? Yeah. Oh, okay, good.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Yeah. If that didn't win an Oscar, I mean, it's just... Yeah, I mean, live in the most racist country, but Trump wins. If the trans radio... Trump's going to get reelected. Yeah. Trans radio. Transistor radio. All right. Thanks for joining us, everyone. Thank you, Joe.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
That's the globe, right? It's burned into her palm like a Nazi. That was better. Indiana Jones. That's it. That's the movie.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
No, that's the movie where the guy burns down. I don't know.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Isn't that the worst country? Didn't Radu say that? That that's like statistically the worst one?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
oh man yeah it's i don't think like people are gonna care that much in the rest of america you see people on twitter being like it's not all rich people that live in la but it's like you're not you're not gonna convince them now that it's not i know it is in their minds it's fucking dan schneider boiling like a frog in his foot right you know that's that's all the testing pray for the palisades a lot these days i text them i was like thinking of you is that where he's at
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Interesting. Maybe they should look into... Oh, the reality? The basketball show. They should look into what Chet was doing before he left for Nashville.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
He was doing pyro stuff. Yeah, he said, it's getting a little hot here in LA. I might... Head to Nashville. That's his big surprise.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Have I played it for you? His country music is stunning. Yeah, but even like he did one of the songs on. Yeah, but I made it bad. Well, whatever. But I mean, it's like for just sitting here with these shitty microphone, I can't even get through a sentence. And then, yeah, I mean, it's really impressive. It's funny because it's like, I mean, he is it's Tom Hanks, his son.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
It's like, of course, he's talented.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Does Tom Hanks sing? I'm confusing. I'm combining him and Lyle Lovett in my mind into one guy. It happens. You know, that does happen. It's the classic.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Yeah, I wonder how he feels about Nosferatu. He's mad at Moldova? I don't care at all about that. They had real Romanians in Nosferatu. They did? Yeah. Really? Not the robot. The robot's played by Bill Skarsgård. Did you watch it? What? Yeah, I just saw it last night. Was it good?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
They get caught.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Maybe he just likes phones. Is that bad? No. There's a lot of new expensive phones. Yeah. I mean, getting the tickets to Turkey, I don't care about. He's the mayor of New York. So no matter what, conservatives are going to be mad at him on the internet. Everyone's going to be mad. And when the corruption stuff came out, they're like, oh, he's taking kickbacks. What was the corruption?
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
The corruption stuff is he was getting free business upgrades on flights to Turkey. There were campaign fundraisers. I don't care.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
He brought swagger back. All the like, what is it called? Graft? It's a graft that gets like prosecuted is always the ones where it's like, this is fine to me. Like when Paul Manafort got busted for tax evasion because he bought his wife like a big coat.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
yeah i'm like let him write the it's a coat he said it was a business expense yeah that's fine like when it's like that's scary because it's like that oh yeah when it's like biden doing like kickback renovations on his house that's where it's fucked up but if it's like a big stupid coat for your stupid wife yeah i don't have a problem with that like uh menendez
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
getting gold bars from Egyptians, let them have the gold bars. You know what I mean? Right. When it's like, oh, you know, like 15% of my offshore drilling, that's bad. That stuff never, they never go after that.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
I think he's an agent.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
How can we get Hunter, if you're out there, clip this, put it out. He manages Joel Kim Booster, I think. He's Joel's? Yeah, it's his only client. I'm pretty sure.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
he runs like a euphoria style agency yeah oh man that's so funny it is like that guy that made euphoria really pulled it off i'm gonna make a show it's really good that i haven't had until this holiday season sees candies from the wall from the mall i always was under the impression that that was like taffy like saltwater taffy which i love the packaging of but i hate as an actual candy it's
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
just chocolate right it's chocolate and it's really fucking good it's really good yeah did you have ethyl m's ethyl no no that was i guess i know whitman sampler and now c women's is for grand grandmas i guess yeah that's a grandma candy i was just in mexico and when were you in mexico
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
You know that. I had no idea you were in Mexico. I went to Mexico City, dude. I was just listening to the events. I wasn't thinking about like in a location. That's sweet. That's nice of you. Yeah.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
That's what I said. I'm going to get into Game of Thrones. Now it's safe. I can watch it by myself. Yeah. You're waiting for it to not be part of the discourse. 2025, I get into Game of Thrones and AOL Instant Messenger.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
I love their outfits. They show up on the bike and they have those gloves that are, like, the...
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
you think so yeah there was a big they like they shut down like Times Square or something like three or four years ago demanding you know that the police stop the murders and the the cops aren't investigating I think they're doing what they do with anything else here.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Yeah, they still have them around, but I think they might be the ones that have always been there.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
I've always hated that. That's always, like, because it's, like... I would never want to be known as a cyclist. Yeah. You know what I mean? I ride a bike occasionally. And if I were to get hit on... Because Kenny DeForest died like a year and a half ago. I haven't been on a bike since. And then there was people on Twitter. I saw them start to... Like the bike community was like one of us.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Oh, wow. I know. I don't think so.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
Can you imagine that? And he's like, why are they saying Jewish? My name's Ben.
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast
The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Joe Mande - Episode 88
It got taken away from you? Just like my password. By Chris Hansen? Yeah. I know.