Nicholas
Appearances
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
It just began to get... more difficult for me to breathe. My eyes kept closing. My head kept dropping.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
I knew that he was a fireman and was wearing all his fire gear and every girl thinks that's attractive, or most women.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
When I woke up from my first surgery at the hospital, they told me that Gina didn't make it. And I had this overwhelming sense of guilt. Maybe if... if I would have trained a little bit harder and taken a gun away from somebody, maybe if I would have done a better job, that she'd still be here.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
He seemed like he would be really kind. In October of 2009, Nick and I were taking an EMT class together.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
When Sergeant Englehart came to the hospital and showed me the photo lineup, I felt like I was carrying around the weight of the world.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
I remember one of the doctors telling me that I had been shot three times point blank to the front side of my body. And after falling down to the ground, I was shot two more times. I felt like I fell into a black hole. I didn't think that I would ever feel any better.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
I really felt comfortable in that house. There was just a really warm feeling. I'm sure the people that lived there, you know, Nick's family, had a lot to do with why I felt that way.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
I do remember that there was different faces. They all had similar features. I instantly pointed to each one of them and said, these are the guys. Mario Coleman is the guy that was wearing the black hoodie and that had the silver gun. He was the shooter. and La'Dale Nathan Jr. is the guy that was wearing the red hoodie.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
Nick always walked me outside to watch me get in the car, make sure I was safe.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
After hearing the defense opening, I became very angry. They pretty much said that because of me, the gun went off seven different times. It's a horrible feeling, always questioning myself if I did a good enough job that night, if I did the right thing, and then to have the blame be put on me. It was very emotional.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
I knew in my head that it was a temporary feeling of relief, but I still allowed myself to feel it.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
When I first seen Mario Coleman, it was shocking. He looked completely different than he looked that night. It's like my mind couldn't even really grasp that this person tried to kill me. This person killed Gina.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
I went back to give Nick a hug goodbye. It was only a matter of a minute before I heard tires squealing.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
I really, really wanted Mario Coleman to never, ever come outside of prison because there was no doubt in my mind that if he was ever released, he would kill again.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
I was trying to look at the jurors, just try to read something. Oh, my God.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
I was sitting next to Sam. He was so nervous. He bites his nails when he's nervous. I could see his whole body just kind of sink back and relax, and just this big smile come across his face. I felt like justice was served. I had no intention of giving a victim impact statement at Mario Coleman's sentencing.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
At the very last minute, I decided that I am going to get up there and say something to him.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
Okay. Um... I just wanted to tell you that I feel bad for you. It doesn't bring any joy to me to know that you're going to a really horrible place for the rest of your life. Like that doesn't make me feel any better. I also wanted to tell you that what you did do for me that night after taking Gina's life, after completely turning everybody else's life upside down, you gave me a whole new family.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
that I didn't have before. I've gained so much, and now you've lost everything. And you also took a really good police officer off the streets. That's all I have to say. Thank you. It's not about finding the perfect words. It's just about standing up there and having the opportunity to tell him what his actions did to your life. One of the hardest things for me to deal with is the loss of my job.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
Being a police officer was the proudest thing. I was more proud walking across that stage getting my badge than I had ever been before in my life. I really tried to get healthy enough to return. Unfortunately, I just I wasn't the same. I never got that fire back. When a police officer retires, they have what they call a final roll call.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
One of them said, give me whatever you got. And I said, I don't have anything. I can't give them my car keys because I have a gun in the car.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
My final roll call meant a lot to me. It was my last day of doing what I love to do. It was the last time that I would be standing with my police family. At my final roll call, I was given an award from the mayor's office.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
I look at my life differently now. I see how fragile it really is and how it can be taken away so fast and without any notice. On my birthday, I thank God that I'm here and it makes my birthday that much more special. I don't have a... a new career picked out. I do know I will continue to go to school until I find whatever it is. And I still know that I want to help people.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
I knew that there was two little boys in there. I knew that Nick's grandmother and aunt was sleeping inside. I knew that it wasn't going to end there. I knew that they weren't just going to leave. Then they directed us at gunpoint to go inside. Right when we get into the house, they became very angry. Put your head on the ground. I'll kill you.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
My mind just went into police mode. What am I going to do to keep everybody in this house safe and get them out? We got down on our knees in the hallway, and it's a very narrow, long hallway, and we were facing the wall. I was constantly peeking at them, trying to memorize their features, what they were wearing, any kind of description I could give to the police.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
One of them was wearing a red hoodie and dark pants. The other one was wearing a black hoodie. The guy in the black hoodie kneeled down behind me and he leaned over and I could feel his breath on my ear and in a very sexual way grabbed my butt. At that point, I started to think I'm gonna be raped tonight. I started to prepare myself to be raped.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
I saw Gina carrying this large, older television down the stairs. And the guy in the red hoodie had the gun pointed to her back, following her down. And once she got downstairs and knelt down next to me, all she wanted, all she asked was if it was OK if she could check on her kids. They just yelled back. I'll kill you, bitch, shut up. Put your head on the ground.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
Tears were rolling down her face and she looked directly at me and she said, oh my God, Isabella, please help. And I felt so helpless. I was playing scenarios in my head. of how can I get my gun out of the car and help people. I just kept trying to think of a way. Rose and Ida were brought downstairs. One of the gunmen directed Gina to go down in the basement with him.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
I believed that they were gonna rape her down there. And I stood up and I turned around and I said, Gina, you stay here, I'll go down there. After I stood up, they said, everyone go down in the basement. I thought I was gonna die. I thought everyone was going to die. And that was my breaking point. I thought, I'm not gonna let this happen. I'm not gonna go out that way.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
I looked down the barrel of the gun and with everything that I had in me, I lunged towards the guy with the black hoodie and began to fight.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
I looked down, and I saw blood on my t-shirt. And at that point, I realized that I had been shot in the chest.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
I knew that it was not a job that a lot of people can do. And it made me feel so good that I could go out there and do that. I knew that I wanted to do something that was going to make a difference and that I could help people.
48 Hours
In The Line of Fire
I remember people screaming, where's the cell phone? We don't have a cell phone. Nobody could find the cell phone to call 911. Ida was screaming, where's Rose?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
I do appreciate a hung t-shirt and all of my apparel to be hung for the most part except for pants. Maybe the condition that my wife has also helps with that. She's a big fan of order. She comes to your house and you have a crooked painting or a picture or something that's going to get straightened right out. She's on it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
I live about an hour north of Seattle. So Washington state.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
She definitely does. She has quite the family. The mother is the tip of the iceberg, I guess. So I have many, many stories that I could probably share that would fit this bill, as I assume everyone who you talk to today probably has many stories.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
Yeah, 100%. For this, we kind of go back to the beginning. My wife and I, we met in high school, but we started dating after high school in 2008. We got married in 2010 when we were about 22.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
And while that has its own list of drama that came with it, kind of the real unhinging of my wife's mother happened when actually my brother was getting married and when we had found out that we were having a baby. And the reason why that matters is because my brother married my wife's sister. Whoa!
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
Yeah, and it works. So it's my wife's half sister. So there's at least some sort of separation there. So fortunately for my brother, he doesn't have to deal with my mother-in-law. Oh, gotcha. They share a father. Same dad. There's four kids total among three different women that we know of that does keep her off of Ancestry.com and other things like that, just in case.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
So that was the start of what really set my wife's mother off was just that my brother and I, we had infiltrated their family in some way. And now not only did I steal my wife from her mother, but now I've let my brother into this and now he has stolen another child from this family. Right.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
It's only her child when it's convenient.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys are trying to outnumber them. Exactly, yeah. It's weird that we're brother and marrying sisters, brothers and whatever, but it's all still legal and fine and all those good things. We found out the week of my brother and wife's sister's wedding that we were going to have a baby and we didn't want to steal any of that thunder.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
So we decided, you know, let's not tell anyone. Let's just wait until after the wedding. That way, the congratulations on the day of are all going towards my brother and his new wife. So on the rehearsal wedding the day before, we had found out that for lack of better terms, my grandfather had passed away. He was like the grandfather type in my life.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
He was the guy that helped me with my first transmission swap, engine swap, doing anything automotive related. He was the guy. He had a big four car shop.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
He was the best. We spent so much time with him and it was very sudden and we did not know that it was going to happen. So the day of the wedding, everyone's kind of head down doing their wedding things trying to be as upbeat about things as they can. My wife, she informs her mom when she arrives, she says, Hey, just so you know, their grandfather died last night, it was very sudden.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
So everyone's kind of in a somber mood, just so you can kind of be sensitive to what's going on. She already believes that my family has somehow brainwashed my wife. So that's lingering in the background as we start moving forward with this day. From there, she's mad at my parents because they didn't greet her with these warm, open arms. It was kind of like, hey, how you doing?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
We're still doing our thing. Also trying to pay attention to a wedding coordinator. Nothing that would be crazy for any of us, but for someone who is unstable, it's very offensive. So then she found out that she was seated in the second row of the ceremony. So again, she's not the mother of the bride. She was there during some childhood stuff, but not till late.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
That's like a whole nother thing.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
They lived in the same house, but he lived in the basement in his weird dungeon that no one was allowed in. And she lived on the main floor.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
They were roommates at that time. And then shortly after this, they end up separating. So they're no longer together. So once she found out that she was seated in the second row, so disrespectfully, she made a nice scene for the room to let us all know that she was being treated poorly. And in her words, a second class citizen.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
That second class citizen quote comes up often.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
Yes. She storms out. She leaves. We don't know if she's coming to the wedding or not. Fortunately, she doesn't, which is great. You know, we all have a good time at the wedding. We all go home. Everyone's happy. A couple of days go by and my wife decides, hey, we got to talk to my mom and let her know we're having a baby. But how do we want to do this?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
as 22 year olds, we're trying to figure out how do we manipulate the situation so she doesn't freak out and just yell at us because that's what's coming. And not necessarily for the pregnancy, but for whatever reason, she wants a list of how she was mistreated. So we decided, let's go get breakfast at this place near where she lives.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
It's like this little small cafe and we'll get breakfast there because no one's going to scream at us in public. She'll have to put on a face because she likes to come across as being someone who is well-to-do and
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
When she first walks in, she thinks we're there to commiserate about how she was mistreated at the wedding. We kind of explained to her that, hey, you know, we're not here to talk about the wedding. We want to talk about something else. So before we could even break the news to her, she pulls out a yellow legal pad and she starts rifling off her grievances like it's a Costanza airing of grievances.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
Yeah. It's one thing after the other. She's talking in circles. Some of it's made up. Some of it's just her augmented truth of what had happened during specific events over the last at least two years.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
Exactly. And that's kind of what we were trying to do is just say, we're not part of this. You can deal with them if you'd like trying to bring down the hysteria that's unfolding. But that only feeds the flames. And she's getting louder. The whole restaurant is quiet. And just watching this woman on her knees, half standing like in a booth.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
Finally, after she reads through her list, she gets through all of her grievances. My wife decides, okay, now's the time to share with her the news. And what I remember the moment and we differ on this is that
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
I physically kind of reached to block her hands from her purse because she wants to pull out a onesie that we had bought for her that says, what happens at grandma's house stays at grandma's house. My kids have never been to grandma's house, so that didn't work out. Whatever happens there, she's alone. But anyway, so she whips out the onesie.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
My mother-in-law proceeds to rip the onesie out of her hand. She's shouting, oh, well, isn't that great?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
She shouts across the restaurant for the server to bring her a box for her food that had just arrived. She knew I was paying for the meal. And so she wasn't going to leave without that food. She was leaving.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
So she loads up, leaves. And that was a pivotal moment in our relationship with her where we're like, OK, maybe we're not going to do this anymore. Maybe this isn't worth all of the extra effort. And so that's when the harassment from her mom kind of started. Prior, it was more like I would come home from work. My wife would be crying and I'd be like, what happened?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
Well, I just got the phone with my mom. She's mad that I haven't visited her in a day or since the weekend. In those moments, I would tell her mom like, hey, you can't call her just to make her cry and trying to be in between the two of them. which nowadays, you know, if there's ever anything with her mom, it's not something I dismiss and say, like, you deal with it on your own.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
It's more of like, I don't want to get in between it. So where it looks like I'm blocking that relationship.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
Exactly. That was all before telling her we're having a baby. And so after that, I was like, you know what? I shouldn't be the one doing that anymore because it's just another excuse for her to say that I'm holding you captive or that my family has you locked away in this tower somewhere. So this is when she proceeds to nonstop call my phone, my wife's phone, our work, my parents.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
She's sending texts from random numbers. She's sending letters from zip codes that are not near us to my parents and to us with threats.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
A majority of what she would send to my parents would be, how could you do this to my daughter? Like, you're keeping her from me, even though we didn't live with my parents or anything. Like, they weren't doing anything.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
They were just really nice and helpful to us when we were first buried. But then what turned for us was she would start to mention her grandmother rights. Oh.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
Maybe it's a thing then because where I was working, I had someone nearby who was a lawyer. It just freaked me out. I was like, what does that mean? Could she try to take our kid? Because that was kind of the implication from some of the letters and texts and phone calls we get from her is that you guys are having a baby, but you won't be able to keep that baby from me. That was terrifying.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
And so this person that we knew who was a lawyer was like, you guys should just try to go get a no contact order. That'll give you at least a year for her to legally not be allowed to, I mean, first of all, harassing enough at work. And I worked in the food industry at the time. So we had to unplug the phone to the restaurant because it would just not stop ringing.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
So we decided to go down that path. And so my wife, she did all of the submissions. I didn't want to be the one who was petitioning for a no contact order against my mother-in-law. Six months pregnant, we go to court. She gives her statement on theme with the organization in the closet. She has a binder full of Every voicemail ever left all transcribed.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
Yes. Every document has been photocopied. We have like witness statements on things. We gave all that to the judge. So she's going through her thing saying, I don't know what's going on, but she won't leave us alone. Essentially, her mom gets up there and then proceeds to talk in circles. Eventually, she's screaming at the judge because the judge isn't doing what she wants her to do.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
Not just somebody else, but somebody else outside of our bubble. Yes, exactly.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
Yeah, so one of her big statements, so she had somehow found out, I don't know, through social media, through other people who knew us, that my wife wanted to have a home birth. That's what she wanted. For me, she's the one having the kid. I'm just there to, what do you want me to do? You want to have the baby at home? Fine. You want to have the baby underwater? I don't care.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
Her big thing was she thought that my mother in particular, through her brainwashing tactics, had convinced my wife that a home birth was the only way to have like a good delivery and that there's no pain with home birth or something crazy. And in reality, so I have a younger sister and an older brother. My mom had all three of us in a hospital.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
She had epidurals with my brother and my sister, and she did not have an epidural with me. And to this day, like last weekend, we were at their house for family dinner like we do every weekend. And she always brings up how big my head was. Sure, sure.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
She would not be the one necessarily advocating for the home birth.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
Even the judge is like, that has nothing to do with why we're here. We were granted that no contact order. The no contact order for a year was like a sigh of relief. If she violates it, we can call the police. They'll have her arrested. And then it's legal trouble for her. We moved and we just would start spotting her mom's car near where we had moved to.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
She should have had no idea where we had moved to. Even to this day, we had moved in the last two years and we've seen her drive by our new house.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
We probably haven't spoken to her in four years at this point now. She's always kind of keeping tabs on where we are. So we get a phone call shortly after my son was born because my wife would go on walks around the neighborhood. So six months later, we're only halfway through this no contact order. It's one of her mom's friends saying, hey, your mom had a heart attack. She's in the hospital.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
You guys need to get down there as soon as possible. She's in critical condition. Initially, we're like, okay, let's take a step back and think about this. Part of me is like, well, if this is true, we can't just let this go. But also, if she's just trying to get us to show up, I wouldn't put that past her. Right. Yeah, a little test. We would be the ones in violation of the no contact order.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
So even if we go see her, she won't get in trouble for that. We would. So we call the hospital first. And there, as I'm sure you know, they're not very forthcoming. I'm asking a nurse, we just need to know because of X, Y, Z, kind of lay out the situation, no contact order. And she goes, okay, let me get a doctor and let them decide what they want to tell you. Doctor gets on the phone.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
I tell her the whole thing again. And the doctor goes, okay, there was never a heart attack. She has heartburn and gas. She's going home shortly.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
Yes. Part of the no contact order, if we did want to try to resume relationship was to seek counseling, which we had done. I had been a part of it at times. I had not been a part of it at times. They've done counseling kind of off and on for years after that. Even those sessions would get a little wild. There's one session where the counselor just left.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
We got a major apology from her later saying like, that was not okay. But I've never in my life been so fed up with a patient before that I had to leave the room.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
Yeah. There's been some wild things that have happened over the years since then for sure. Like I said, I could go on. That was our first year of marriage. Our first kid. Our first no contact order. Lots of firsts.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
She kind of goes back and forth. We have a 10-year-old daughter and a 12-year-old son. And her dad is a whole other story, a father-in-law story I'll probably write back in. He's never met our kids and he has no interest in that. I guess I just don't know how you get to that point where you choose to be right in your mind over having that relationship with your children and your grandchildren.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
As nice as it is for me, it is heartbreaking for my kids. And all we've told them is just like, Grammy's hasn't been nice to your mom. And until she can choose to make good choices with your mom and work out whatever issues they have, she's not going to be coming around.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
But we really hope that she decides to make the necessary changes and steps to have that good relationship so you guys can have a relationship with her.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
Like you said, you can't out crazy, crazy.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Mother-in-Law
Do you want to sing a tune or something? Or a theme song? Oh. Okay, great.
Morbid
Episode 673: Spooky Asylums and Cemeteries with Nicholas
I know that. I think we're going to have to noise regulate this episode because we're screaming. We screaming.
Morbid
Episode 673: Spooky Asylums and Cemeteries with Nicholas
This is a fake fight, by the way. It is. I think we've opened up a few episodes fighting lately.
Morbid
Episode 673: Spooky Asylums and Cemeteries with Nicholas
I mean, yeah. I mean, it's... Are you rife with hauntings?
Morbid
Episode 673: Spooky Asylums and Cemeteries with Nicholas
You had a rough day. I'm tolerant. You know, it was your first fight too. It was. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
You Won't Win With Money If You're Not Aligned With A Plan
Hey, how are you doing? Thanks so much for taking my call.
The Ramsey Show
You Won't Win With Money If You're Not Aligned With A Plan
My question is, I recently got married this last year, and I'm considering going back to school to finish my degree, but I'd like to keep working full-time while doing that. And I guess my question would be, what's the balance between working full-time and doing school full-time?
The Ramsey Show
You Won't Win With Money If You're Not Aligned With A Plan
So looking at like a 70- to 80-hour week with balancing kind of the new marriage and just not wanting to neglect those responsibilities.
The Ramsey Show
You Won't Win With Money If You're Not Aligned With A Plan
The end goal would be I have a four-year degree right now, and I can go back for one more year. And that would really help me with pursuing my degree. I'm trying to become a licensed architect. And so if I go back for one more year, I can significantly advance my degree. I can get licensed. And so it's important for me to go back. But I'd like to I have a full time job right now.
The Ramsey Show
You Won't Win With Money If You're Not Aligned With A Plan
And so that's also important to me. So I'd like to I'd like to do both if it's feasible. And so there's there's sort of this this crossroad between hustling now for kind of a more secure future and kind of getting a better paying job. But and it's just for a year.
The Ramsey Show
You Won't Win With Money If You're Not Aligned With A Plan
She's a little bit worried that I would be too busy. She's also studying architecture. She's just finished right now. And so I think she is sort of very in tune with how busy it can get in school. And so I think she's a little bit nervous that, you know, 70, 80 hours could turn into more.
The Ramsey Show
You Won't Win With Money If You're Not Aligned With A Plan
I believe it would be possible to cut back on work hours. I would probably just have to have a conversation with the boss. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
You Won't Win With Money If You're Not Aligned With A Plan
Yeah, that's sort of the idea. I mean, we have a little bit of savings. We're not really in debt. So the idea would be I would be able to pay for it just by continually working. That's sort of where that idea came from was don't go into debt by it. You just keep working and pay it as you go.
The Ramsey Show
You Won't Win With Money If You're Not Aligned With A Plan
No, we're pretty regimented with the budget we've been listening for a while. So we've got it pretty all mapped out. So the work in the 40 hours a week would be more than enough to pay it as we went. It's just sort of the... Yeah, it's just the sacrifice of time.
The Ramsey Show
You Won't Win With Money If You're Not Aligned With A Plan
I think the other option would be we save up for another year in order to afford going back to school while not working, which would basically just push the timeline back by another year. And ultimately, a salary boost from getting licensed would get pushed back another year. What is the salary boost? It would be probably $10,000 to $15,000 a year. Just by finishing.
The Ramsey Show
You Won't Win With Money If You're Not Aligned With A Plan
I think she would like us to look more into doing it slower over time. I think I'm a little bit more adamant about getting it done. Because like you said, God willing, we could have a kid whenever. And so I feel like we have the time to spare now. It's just a matter of pulling the trigger and kind of using that time.
The Ramsey Show
You Won't Win With Money If You're Not Aligned With A Plan
I think so. I think I'm pretty confident in my own ability to do it. I just, I guess the question was more around the impact on my wife. You know, I think I can handle it, but I'm, I'm trying to step back from that and be like, okay, I can handle it. But I think you guys just put that. I don't think I can see.
The Ramsey Show
You Won't Win With Money If You're Not Aligned With A Plan
We're coming up on one year on June 2nd.
The Ramsey Show
Delayed Gratification Is a Key Ingredient to Building Wealth
I'm good. How are you, Dave?
The Ramsey Show
Delayed Gratification Is a Key Ingredient to Building Wealth
So I just graduated college, took my last final today, and I have a job offer that I've actually taken already for $130,000 a year.
The Ramsey Show
Delayed Gratification Is a Key Ingredient to Building Wealth
Wow, okay. Yeah. And on that note, I have absolutely no idea how to structure this income and how I can save it the best. I have the blessing that I can live with my parents for a while after starting this job. So I think for the first six months, I'll probably be living with them and just saving up as much as I possibly can.
The Ramsey Show
Delayed Gratification Is a Key Ingredient to Building Wealth
But I'd love your insight on whether I should be maxing out my 401k, any other investment tools. I do have debt. I have roughly $30,000 of debt. Okay. All right.
The Ramsey Show
Delayed Gratification Is a Key Ingredient to Building Wealth
So I know that roughly my take home after taxes will be, uh, around seven and a half thousand a month.
The Ramsey Show
Delayed Gratification Is a Key Ingredient to Building Wealth
I I'm ready to start my life. But on that note, uh, what, what should I be aiming to pay for rent? Because this is a very expensive area, uh, kind of hence the large, uh, salary. Um, and. One-bedroom apartments in the area of where I work go for around $2,500. Is that something you think I can afford?
The Ramsey Show
Delayed Gratification Is a Key Ingredient to Building Wealth
A fourth of his take-home, okay.
The Ramsey Show
Delayed Gratification Is a Key Ingredient to Building Wealth
Do you think I should be maxing out my 401k?
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
I only had my mortgage, um, which is 1400, which in Massachusetts is, you can't even rent for 1400 is just nothing for the more the mortgage is nothing. Uh, at the time it was 1250, but during the divorce, I had a refinance. So it went up to almost 1500. But, I mean, all my money got drained. She spent $72,000 in 2020, the year of the divorce.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
She just kind of drained the accounts and left me with that. And then the tax liability, I'm in huge tax troubles. I owe six figures to the government and then $30,000 to the state. And I'm just kind of lost.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
No, definitely, definitely. And there's a whole other part of this, which is like I'm trying to push through. I've got two young children, five and six years old. And I'm with them 60% of the time paying, you know, paying the, you know, 400 a week in support. It's just kind of, it is what it is. I don't have an issue with the support. I don't have an issue with the support or nothing like that.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
It's just, I'm, you know, I feel like I'm pushing myself further into that because I'm trying to give them everything they need. So my credit, my personal credit cards, along with the business, I mean, everything's, everything's just, you know. Hold on.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
No, no, no. I got destroyed. How?
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
It was just my lawyer, the representation during it. There was just a lot of things that just did not go my way, and I was not in a mental state. So at some point after them just coming at me and coming at me with demands and demands, I just wanted it done with. So I said, all right, that's it. I agree on this, and let's go.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
No, I still, I'm still running, still running the business. Okay. Do you want to hear my personals?
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
Yeah. So, I mean, I mean, weekly, my, my weekly check is like 12, 1200 a week.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
Yep. Yep. But but then you got to, you know, right now is our slow season. So there's going to be a couple of weeks where I'm not taking a check. And then, you know, subtracting, you know, for 387 and support.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
Yeah. Yeah. Eleven ninety eight a week. Yeah.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
Uh, personal or with the business included?
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
Uh, yep. So I got the, I got the vehicle, the vehicle, the, uh, home and, um, the, you know, about 8,000 in credit card debt.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
So, yeah, I just wanted to, you know, first, I appreciate you guys, you know, putting me on. But I wanted to just kind of, you know, put my situation out there. In 2020, I'm a small business owner. In 2020, we had a great year. We're a fence installation company. We were doing really, really great around the time 2020 into 2021. At that time, my wife had an affair.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
Last time I checked, it was worth $14,000.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
Yeah, so the work's always been there. I never paid for advertising. With the work, we've always been very busy. Last year was very slow. I put $14,000 over the year into a marketing agency and just...
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
I was working probably 50 to 60 hours a week just because I had to keep up with the demand for the business at the time. After that, you know, that hit me mentally. And going into a divorce process, it killed me financially. And I've just not been able to recover. It's just been a tough few years. The business, since that, it was kind of like almost like a peak period.
The Ramsey Show
Be Prepared: Math Doesn’t Care About Your Life Situations
in 2020 into 2021 with the work the business slowed down after I don't know if it's partially due to the economy or or just my state in general of you know pushing forward lack of funds for the business and so on but just been a struggle since since that time so man sorry brother No, it's all right. And, and, you know, with, um, you know, pre-divorce around 2020, I had six figures in the bank.