Negin Farsad

Did you always remember your line in that one?

Did you always remember your line in that one?

Or if that's what I said.

Or if that's what I said.

All right, you ready?

All right, you ready?

Also, they're like, it's a color I've never seen before. Like, how do they know?

Also, they're like, it's a color I've never seen before. Like, how do they know?

I've seen blue-green.

I've seen blue-green.

High fives. Can I get a hint?

High fives. Can I get a hint?

luke and that's that's what was most hurtful my parents gave it to me um so my husband had a friend group in college where every single person had a nickname as well and it's funny because to this day i don't know their real name so i just refer to these people like oh are you gonna call up baby hairs and see He's doing this weekend. What's your boy Jeans up to?

luke and that's that's what was most hurtful my parents gave it to me um so my husband had a friend group in college where every single person had a nickname as well and it's funny because to this day i don't know their real name so i just refer to these people like oh are you gonna call up baby hairs and see He's doing this weekend. What's your boy Jeans up to?

They were also weird nicknames that didn't make sense out of context.

They were also weird nicknames that didn't make sense out of context.

Yes. This would give like a show like Sex and the City such a different look if they were sitting around having brunch and sniffing each other.

Yes. This would give like a show like Sex and the City such a different look if they were sitting around having brunch and sniffing each other.

Wow. Wait, where is this pecker now? I think still there. So he's just out like ravaging the town.

Wow. Wait, where is this pecker now? I think still there. So he's just out like ravaging the town.

I love that idea that he was so into pop culture because I feel like he had a really great sense of humor. And I feel like he was like, guys, wouldn't it be funny if I met J.D. Vance and then I died? Yeah.

I love that idea that he was so into pop culture because I feel like he had a really great sense of humor. And I feel like he was like, guys, wouldn't it be funny if I met J.D. Vance and then I died? Yeah.

Gum.

Gum.

Wait, so you, and you can chew it like all the time? Or how does it?

Wait, so you, and you can chew it like all the time? Or how does it?

Yeah, or you just do it like, or you do it like a vaccine. You just chew on it once a year. Oh, I think it's like pretty often.

Yeah, or you just do it like, or you do it like a vaccine. You just chew on it once a year. Oh, I think it's like pretty often.

Oh, the hair and makeup department at the State Department.

Oh, the hair and makeup department at the State Department.

Um, annul his wedding.

Um, annul his wedding.

Nagin Farsad. Taking a page from The Daily Show and MSNBC, the papacy will have a rotating cast of popes changing every night of the week. And Luke Burbank.

Nagin Farsad. Taking a page from The Daily Show and MSNBC, the papacy will have a rotating cast of popes changing every night of the week. And Luke Burbank.

I also think, you know how you can like carry around like a little personal fan for when you're hot? I think personal smoke machine for when you just want to like share a bit of detail about your life.

I also think, you know how you can like carry around like a little personal fan for when you're hot? I think personal smoke machine for when you just want to like share a bit of detail about your life.

I won't do it again. So how many, like, icebergs melted because of this lover spat?

I won't do it again. So how many, like, icebergs melted because of this lover spat?

So, okay, so I have a question which is, Like, do we have a quota as people for how nice we can be? And then if we are nice to AI all the time, are we then mean to our moms?

So, okay, so I have a question which is, Like, do we have a quota as people for how nice we can be? And then if we are nice to AI all the time, are we then mean to our moms?

Right, right. And if you're mean to your mom, how many icebergs does that melt?

Right, right. And if you're mean to your mom, how many icebergs does that melt?

I love the idea of a four-star general showing up at the Pentagon and a PA being like, should I take you to hair and makeup?

I love the idea of a four-star general showing up at the Pentagon and a PA being like, should I take you to hair and makeup?

As a kid, the only thing Ronald D'Souza feared more than getting pantsed was escalators. He feared that if he didn't tie his shoes before getting on an escalator, it would eat his legs. To this day, as an adult manager of the Macy's in Palm Desert, California, Ronald takes a beat too long to step on, waiting for the right step, missing the right step, and then waiting again for the right step.

As a kid, the only thing Ronald D'Souza feared more than getting pantsed was escalators. He feared that if he didn't tie his shoes before getting on an escalator, it would eat his legs. To this day, as an adult manager of the Macy's in Palm Desert, California, Ronald takes a beat too long to step on, waiting for the right step, missing the right step, and then waiting again for the right step.

One day, he was doing a VIP tour with vendors when the laces of his Oxfords came undone. He didn't notice and led the group to the escalator. That's when the escalator began to eat his shoe. He was reflexively pulled to his knees, and that's when his pant leg got sucked in, pulling his trousers down and showing off his tighty-whities. It was a double whammy childhood nightmare.

One day, he was doing a VIP tour with vendors when the laces of his Oxfords came undone. He didn't notice and led the group to the escalator. That's when the escalator began to eat his shoe. He was reflexively pulled to his knees, and that's when his pant leg got sucked in, pulling his trousers down and showing off his tighty-whities. It was a double whammy childhood nightmare.

He was rescued, but only after his clients and a steady stream of shoppers were treated to the rear end of a man perched like he was getting a public prostate exam. Co-workers cut him out of the pants, after which he scurried to the men's section looking business on top, party on the bottom. Nowadays, Ronald takes the elevator.

He was rescued, but only after his clients and a steady stream of shoppers were treated to the rear end of a man perched like he was getting a public prostate exam. Co-workers cut him out of the pants, after which he scurried to the men's section looking business on top, party on the bottom. Nowadays, Ronald takes the elevator.

So you, of course, released the smash hit Uptown Funk. So we're going to ask you about downtown funk or stinky city smells. And amazingly, in this quiz, we only use the word urine once. Now answer two out of three questions correctly and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Mark Bronson playing for?

So you, of course, released the smash hit Uptown Funk. So we're going to ask you about downtown funk or stinky city smells. And amazingly, in this quiz, we only use the word urine once. Now answer two out of three questions correctly and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Mark Bronson playing for?

All right. Here's your first question. Most towns come to their funks naturally, but some create their own, including Lincoln, Nebraska, which in the winter smells like what? Is it A, nutmeg, which they mix in with their road salt? Is it B, new car smell from their factory that makes artificial new car smell kicking up production?

All right. Here's your first question. Most towns come to their funks naturally, but some create their own, including Lincoln, Nebraska, which in the winter smells like what? Is it A, nutmeg, which they mix in with their road salt? Is it B, new car smell from their factory that makes artificial new car smell kicking up production?

Or is it C, animal pee which they spray on their pine trees to keep people from stealing them for Christmas trees?

Or is it C, animal pee which they spray on their pine trees to keep people from stealing them for Christmas trees?

And that is correct. The answer is animal pee.

And that is correct. The answer is animal pee.

All right, here's your next question. Lots of cities have bad smells, but not every city has a song about how bad it smells. Which of these is a real recording? Is it A, the aroma of Tacoma, Is it B, my dear Eureka, how Eureka? Or is it C, Pueblo, Colorado, smells like a rotten egg made of dead skunks?

All right, here's your next question. Lots of cities have bad smells, but not every city has a song about how bad it smells. Which of these is a real recording? Is it A, the aroma of Tacoma, Is it B, my dear Eureka, how Eureka? Or is it C, Pueblo, Colorado, smells like a rotten egg made of dead skunks?

Some combination of a paper mill and oil refinery and Tacoma's natural stank made a smell so strong it was immortalized in song. Not going to lie. It's a bop.

Some combination of a paper mill and oil refinery and Tacoma's natural stank made a smell so strong it was immortalized in song. Not going to lie. It's a bop.

All right, so here is your last question. GQ magazine published a list of the best smelling cities in the world, including New Orleans, which they praised for what combination of scents? Was it A, incense and sweat? Was it B, old beer and frying fat? Or was it C, strawberry hurricanes and puked up strawberry hurricanes?

All right, so here is your last question. GQ magazine published a list of the best smelling cities in the world, including New Orleans, which they praised for what combination of scents? Was it A, incense and sweat? Was it B, old beer and frying fat? Or was it C, strawberry hurricanes and puked up strawberry hurricanes?

I'm sorry. The answer is B, old beer and frying fat. Got New Orleans on the good smelling list. All right, Bill, how did Mark do on our quiz?

I'm sorry. The answer is B, old beer and frying fat. Got New Orleans on the good smelling list. All right, Bill, how did Mark do on our quiz?

Mark Ronson is a Grammy and Oscar-winning producer, writer, and DJ who composed the score and produced the soundtrack for the Barbie movie. Mark Ronson, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Mark Ronson is a Grammy and Oscar-winning producer, writer, and DJ who composed the score and produced the soundtrack for the Barbie movie. Mark Ronson, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was just like, I was expecting you to be like broccoli and then other forms of broccoli.

I was just like, I was expecting you to be like broccoli and then other forms of broccoli.

They would fall off all the time. Were you playing this little piggy? And you were like, this little piggy goes and goes.

They would fall off all the time. Were you playing this little piggy? And you were like, this little piggy goes and goes.

She's like, it's a hallucination! Yay!

She's like, it's a hallucination! Yay!

Yeah.

Yeah.

Did you have an inkling then that it was going to be this worldwide phenomenon?

Did you have an inkling then that it was going to be this worldwide phenomenon?

So I want to talk to you a little bit about being a DJ. We talked before the show, and as you know, I have, in fact, shaken my booty, as it were, at a club where you were DJing. And it was just an incredible night. It was so fun. But it made me think, you probably see a a lot of weird stuff on the dance floor.

So I want to talk to you a little bit about being a DJ. We talked before the show, and as you know, I have, in fact, shaken my booty, as it were, at a club where you were DJing. And it was just an incredible night. It was so fun. But it made me think, you probably see a a lot of weird stuff on the dance floor.

Are you like basically embarrassed for everyone as you see them dancing to your music or?

Are you like basically embarrassed for everyone as you see them dancing to your music or?

Well, let's talk about Barbie, another worldwide phenomenon. I want to talk to you about scoring the movie, which you also did. Now that you've scored a movie, do you find yourself scoring dramatic moments in your own life? Or just like mundane, like you're just like chatting with the barista and then it's like, meh, meh, meh, meh.

Well, let's talk about Barbie, another worldwide phenomenon. I want to talk to you about scoring the movie, which you also did. Now that you've scored a movie, do you find yourself scoring dramatic moments in your own life? Or just like mundane, like you're just like chatting with the barista and then it's like, meh, meh, meh, meh.

Is it true that the song, I Want to Know What Love Is, was written about your mom?

Is it true that the song, I Want to Know What Love Is, was written about your mom?

Is it that one Harrison Ford ad?

Is it that one Harrison Ford ad?

Over and over?

Over and over?

Oh, so you're Harrison Ford.

Oh, so you're Harrison Ford.

So he has enough money to buy a landfill? I mean, I've never bought one myself. No, he's going to pay... So just how much are these landfills running these days? Also...

So he has enough money to buy a landfill? I mean, I've never bought one myself. No, he's going to pay... So just how much are these landfills running these days? Also...

Yeah, this feels like a promissory note.

Yeah, this feels like a promissory note.

Or we just need another round of tariffs, but this time on the asteroid. That'll keep it away. They do everything. They do everything.

Or we just need another round of tariffs, but this time on the asteroid. That'll keep it away. They do everything. They do everything.

New York City.

New York City.

I know, just when you drive a country out of the... The asteroid hits it.

I know, just when you drive a country out of the... The asteroid hits it.

Congestion pricing?

Congestion pricing?

McCarthy. What? McCartney.

McCarthy. What? McCartney.

He decided to marry his robot.

He decided to marry his robot.

The pennies will be equally distributed among barista tip jars from coast to coast.

The pennies will be equally distributed among barista tip jars from coast to coast.

Can I defend this guy for a second?

Can I defend this guy for a second?

No, I'm just saying that it is a slippery slope because once we let all these things be fine, and we're just letting big etiquette take over and dictate everything we do.

No, I'm just saying that it is a slippery slope because once we let all these things be fine, and we're just letting big etiquette take over and dictate everything we do.

And the asteroid has a point.

And the asteroid has a point.

What?

What?

I would be so jealous. I'd be like, you're coming home smelling like titanium? No, thank you.

I would be so jealous. I'd be like, you're coming home smelling like titanium? No, thank you.

I mean, it kind of makes sense to just have an understudy, I guess.

I mean, it kind of makes sense to just have an understudy, I guess.

You know, like in theater, you have an understudy if you can't perform. And in this situation, the robot is your understudy.

You know, like in theater, you have an understudy if you can't perform. And in this situation, the robot is your understudy.

Alice Benton is a third-generation oil tycoon from Lockhart, Texas, which means he didn't have to prospect land, but he did get a few years after college to discover his passion for DJing in Ibiza. Eventually, he moved back home to be his family's overseer of oil money, and that's when he met Bridget Calhoun. She was a real charmer, getting her PhD in antiquities, and he fell hard.

Alice Benton is a third-generation oil tycoon from Lockhart, Texas, which means he didn't have to prospect land, but he did get a few years after college to discover his passion for DJing in Ibiza. Eventually, he moved back home to be his family's overseer of oil money, and that's when he met Bridget Calhoun. She was a real charmer, getting her PhD in antiquities, and he fell hard.

To impress her, he would buy concert tickets, Michelin-starred meals, a straight-up yacht in a landlocked town, but never mind. One time they took her nephew to a water park and she said, this is fun. Well, that was all the encouragement he needed because he immediately hired a water park architect to transform his backyard into a $1.2 million splashitarium complete with lazy river and wave pool.

To impress her, he would buy concert tickets, Michelin-starred meals, a straight-up yacht in a landlocked town, but never mind. One time they took her nephew to a water park and she said, this is fun. Well, that was all the encouragement he needed because he immediately hired a water park architect to transform his backyard into a $1.2 million splashitarium complete with lazy river and wave pool.

Only thing is that water park architect turned out to be a real dream boat. She ended up leaving Hollis Benton and all his wealth. On the upside, he saved money, proving the old adage, if you have to spend $1.2 million on a water park to impress your boo, she's probably not the one.

Only thing is that water park architect turned out to be a real dream boat. She ended up leaving Hollis Benton and all his wealth. On the upside, he saved money, proving the old adage, if you have to spend $1.2 million on a water park to impress your boo, she's probably not the one.

Even though dubstep is so 10 years ago, the public was enraged. Tens of protesters gathered in front of the college. To date, the musicians and the public are at a standstill. Cadwallader is quoted as saying, I don't know, like, I might just take up guitar. Or however she would have said it, and that's my approximation of how she would have said that.

Even though dubstep is so 10 years ago, the public was enraged. Tens of protesters gathered in front of the college. To date, the musicians and the public are at a standstill. Cadwallader is quoted as saying, I don't know, like, I might just take up guitar. Or however she would have said it, and that's my approximation of how she would have said that.

Can I ask a question about Olaf? Yes. So I have a six-year-old daughter. So your voice is like in my apartment all the time. And I, you're great.

Can I ask a question about Olaf? Yes. So I have a six-year-old daughter. So your voice is like in my apartment all the time. And I, you're great.

What kind of relationship do you have with the parents of the children that go nuts?

What kind of relationship do you have with the parents of the children that go nuts?

He has more dignity than that, Josh.

He has more dignity than that, Josh.

Okay, the seats are not connected to the chassis, which I'm imagining is the main car. Main part of the car, yes. Sorry for using technical automotive industry terms. And so why is it not fastened?

Okay, the seats are not connected to the chassis, which I'm imagining is the main car. Main part of the car, yes. Sorry for using technical automotive industry terms. And so why is it not fastened?

That one guy, Ron, didn't put in, you know.

That one guy, Ron, didn't put in, you know.

I was joking.

I was joking.

Okay. But also, did anyone tell Ron that thing about how a chair is supposed to be on a thing called a chassis? Possibly. Maybe he didn't know the word.

Okay. But also, did anyone tell Ron that thing about how a chair is supposed to be on a thing called a chassis? Possibly. Maybe he didn't know the word.

Big pockets. Oh, you can fit all that hair in one pocket, then that's not that much hair.

Big pockets. Oh, you can fit all that hair in one pocket, then that's not that much hair.

Oh, you're treating it like he's at a bodega, like picking a country to be, to shop for.

Oh, you're treating it like he's at a bodega, like picking a country to be, to shop for.

Wildfires. Right.

Wildfires. Right.

Avian bird flu.

Avian bird flu.

Alcohol.

Alcohol.

Her mom.

Her mom.

Netflix?

Netflix?

Arby's?

Arby's?

Bought him some Arby's.

Bought him some Arby's.

12's the number to beat, guys.

12's the number to beat, guys.

They'll have to pay for rat sightings, and the toll is a slice of pizza paid directly to each rat.

They'll have to pay for rat sightings, and the toll is a slice of pizza paid directly to each rat.

Oh, my god. Peter, yeah. I mean, forget. I mean, I was on a subway the other day, and just like a wet thing just fell into my brow. And I was like, what was that wet thing? And I think it was some sort of a leak because maybe the train had been outside and then went underground or whatever. But forget chandeliers. I just want that one wet thing not to come on my face. Not to fall on your face.

Oh, my god. Peter, yeah. I mean, forget. I mean, I was on a subway the other day, and just like a wet thing just fell into my brow. And I was like, what was that wet thing? And I think it was some sort of a leak because maybe the train had been outside and then went underground or whatever. But forget chandeliers. I just want that one wet thing not to come on my face. Not to fall on your face.

Bone dry trains. Yeah. Just a dry train would be so delightful.

Bone dry trains. Yeah. Just a dry train would be so delightful.

Go back to sleep.

Go back to sleep.

But I mean, it's so clunky. If they had been doing this, instead of it being like, go ahead, make my day, it would be like, as you can see, I'm carrying a gun now.

But I mean, it's so clunky. If they had been doing this, instead of it being like, go ahead, make my day, it would be like, as you can see, I'm carrying a gun now.

No, not as much. Not as much. I, Sam, am playing it again. Here in Casablanca.

No, not as much. Not as much. I, Sam, am playing it again. Here in Casablanca.

Oh, they... Well, then it would be like, I'm putting the lotion on my skin.

Oh, they... Well, then it would be like, I'm putting the lotion on my skin.

That'll bring, like, a third category of actor. Like, you know, you have a face for radio, so you can have, like, a face for, like, movies, or you can have a face for Netflix. You know?

That'll bring, like, a third category of actor. Like, you know, you have a face for radio, so you can have, like, a face for, like, movies, or you can have a face for Netflix. You know?

Yeah, no one's going to look at you. It doesn't really matter.

Yeah, no one's going to look at you. It doesn't really matter.

You get like some Ikea furniture that needs assembling.

You get like some Ikea furniture that needs assembling.

The Welsh are known for their love of the harp. In fact, it's the national instrument. It was medieval Wales that created something called the Welsh triple harp, which from what I understand is three times more harp than the average harp. Point is, the Welsh are unabashed harpies. Which is why a scandal erupted at the Wales College of Music when a group of upstart harpists wanted to innovate.

The Welsh are known for their love of the harp. In fact, it's the national instrument. It was medieval Wales that created something called the Welsh triple harp, which from what I understand is three times more harp than the average harp. Point is, the Welsh are unabashed harpies. Which is why a scandal erupted at the Wales College of Music when a group of upstart harpists wanted to innovate.

These radical harp apostates started by using gut strings on their harps instead of the traditional plated horsehair. I mean, can you imagine? Then, one of the musicians, Kylie Cadwallader, decided to lean her harp on her right shoulder instead of her left, like some sort of terrorist. Things really went off the rails when the musicians released a harp track set to a dubstep beat.

These radical harp apostates started by using gut strings on their harps instead of the traditional plated horsehair. I mean, can you imagine? Then, one of the musicians, Kylie Cadwallader, decided to lean her harp on her right shoulder instead of her left, like some sort of terrorist. Things really went off the rails when the musicians released a harp track set to a dubstep beat.

Sebu Satiki, starting flanker for New Zealand's All Blacks national rugby team, was one of the side's most devastating defensive players, shutting down opponents and once making 85 tackles in one game. That is until he started taking a homeopathic recipe for a shoulder injury. As teammate Bodhi Acosta explains, it made his shoulder better, but he started to play a little differently.

Sebu Satiki, starting flanker for New Zealand's All Blacks national rugby team, was one of the side's most devastating defensive players, shutting down opponents and once making 85 tackles in one game. That is until he started taking a homeopathic recipe for a shoulder injury. As teammate Bodhi Acosta explains, it made his shoulder better, but he started to play a little differently.

His teammates noted Sevu wasn't as aggressive in defense. Then he'd strike up conversations with the other sides in the scrum, says Acosta, referring to those big eight-man rugby huddles that look like rattan made of meat. When team medics took a closer look at the remedies Satake had been taking, they learned it had been linked to huge increases in empathy and compassion as a side effect.

His teammates noted Sevu wasn't as aggressive in defense. Then he'd strike up conversations with the other sides in the scrum, says Acosta, referring to those big eight-man rugby huddles that look like rattan made of meat. When team medics took a closer look at the remedies Satake had been taking, they learned it had been linked to huge increases in empathy and compassion as a side effect.

By the time we figured out the issue, he was stopping us from stepping on ladybugs on the pitch, says Acosta. I mean, empathy is great, but not when France is thwacking you 21 to nothing.

By the time we figured out the issue, he was stopping us from stepping on ladybugs on the pitch, says Acosta. I mean, empathy is great, but not when France is thwacking you 21 to nothing.

Hello.

Hello.

But there's nothing worse than when the champagne gets jammed and then the next person comes along and gets two bottles of champagne.

But there's nothing worse than when the champagne gets jammed and then the next person comes along and gets two bottles of champagne.

You're drinking my champagne.

You're drinking my champagne.

No.

No.

His chauffeur, who is a dog. No? His death wish.

His chauffeur, who is a dog. No? His death wish.

Is the city now suing the sausage biscuit or are they holding on criminal charges? They'll take it in for question where it's going to be grilled.

Is the city now suing the sausage biscuit or are they holding on criminal charges? They'll take it in for question where it's going to be grilled.

That's not respectful. What body part should she have used? That's a good question.

That's not respectful. What body part should she have used? That's a good question.

Wait, this has turned into QVC. We only have 15 pairs left. Call it now. All right, here is your next limerick.

Wait, this has turned into QVC. We only have 15 pairs left. Call it now. All right, here is your next limerick.

That's true.

That's true.

And Adam Burke, a shell oil-themed restaurant which will move in on and tear down all of the rainforest cafes.

And Adam Burke, a shell oil-themed restaurant which will move in on and tear down all of the rainforest cafes.

So riz didn't have enough riz to still be the word.

So riz didn't have enough riz to still be the word.

I only think it's fair to say this because Joe Biden likes to bring up his Catholic faith a lot in his secular job. But... I was raised Catholic, and we're supposed to follow Christ's example. Yes. And Jesus asked his dad to get him off of his little legal contract. Oh, yeah. And even Jesus' dad was like, trust the process. Yeah, sorry. Yeah.

I only think it's fair to say this because Joe Biden likes to bring up his Catholic faith a lot in his secular job. But... I was raised Catholic, and we're supposed to follow Christ's example. Yes. And Jesus asked his dad to get him off of his little legal contract. Oh, yeah. And even Jesus' dad was like, trust the process. Yeah, sorry. Yeah.

Would you?

Would you?

Just him doing car noises in his underwear.

Just him doing car noises in his underwear.

I've never been to one. Is it just... I've never been to one. I've never been to one.

I've never been to one. Is it just... I've never been to one. I've never been to one.

Because Slash would actually hang out at the Hard Rock Cafe. It wasn't even animatronic. It was just him reaching over and grabbing your fries.

Because Slash would actually hang out at the Hard Rock Cafe. It wasn't even animatronic. It was just him reaching over and grabbing your fries.

You spread cream cheese on bread. Also, all cream cheese is drinkable if it's warm enough. True.

You spread cream cheese on bread. Also, all cream cheese is drinkable if it's warm enough. True.

Where was this? Japan. You really think white people would have come up with this?

Where was this? Japan. You really think white people would have come up with this?

I really want to see the television commercials for this. I want to see a bunch of people on the beach playing volleyball. Like, man, I worked up a sweat. Hand me the mayo.

I really want to see the television commercials for this. I want to see a bunch of people on the beach playing volleyball. Like, man, I worked up a sweat. Hand me the mayo.

The dental world is having a cultural moment. After years of Invisalign dominance, patients are finally getting hip to old school braces. And not just any patients, adult patients. That's right, being a metal mouth isn't just for begrudging virgins with pimples anymore. Adults are saying goodbye to plastic mouth trays and clear back brackets in favor of full industrial alloy chompers.

The dental world is having a cultural moment. After years of Invisalign dominance, patients are finally getting hip to old school braces. And not just any patients, adult patients. That's right, being a metal mouth isn't just for begrudging virgins with pimples anymore. Adults are saying goodbye to plastic mouth trays and clear back brackets in favor of full industrial alloy chompers.

We're also seeing reports of respected adults making their maws festive with colorful brace bands. Green for St. Patrick's Day, red for Valentine's Day, or Labor Day's famous chartreuse. influencers such as Abby Clancy and Charlie James and rappers like Lil Uzi, all names that mean nothing to an NPR audience, are showing off their be-meddled pie holes on social media.

We're also seeing reports of respected adults making their maws festive with colorful brace bands. Green for St. Patrick's Day, red for Valentine's Day, or Labor Day's famous chartreuse. influencers such as Abby Clancy and Charlie James and rappers like Lil Uzi, all names that mean nothing to an NPR audience, are showing off their be-meddled pie holes on social media.

But as always, beware, if two metal mouths make out, they'll both pick up radio signals.

But as always, beware, if two metal mouths make out, they'll both pick up radio signals.

I remember when I had braces in the eighth grade, and I definitely didn't want them.

I remember when I had braces in the eighth grade, and I definitely didn't want them.

They, like, yell at, like, mannequins that are their children because you're not supposed to yell at your children. They get it out.

They, like, yell at, like, mannequins that are their children because you're not supposed to yell at your children. They get it out.

Also, at some point, does someone just give you an iPad? To just shut it down?

Also, at some point, does someone just give you an iPad? To just shut it down?

But I've never been to one. Have you guys been?

But I've never been to one. Have you guys been?

Thank you.

Thank you.

It's a traditional stuffed turkey in our home. Yes, absolutely.

It's a traditional stuffed turkey in our home. Yes, absolutely.

I feel like let's go harder with it.

I feel like let's go harder with it.

And my view is let's bring them to the United States and let's start tariffing each other. So it's like if you're wearing cargo pants too many times a month, you're tariffed. You know what I mean? Right. There's a lot of behaviors I think we can control amongst ourselves.

And my view is let's bring them to the United States and let's start tariffing each other. So it's like if you're wearing cargo pants too many times a month, you're tariffed. You know what I mean? Right. There's a lot of behaviors I think we can control amongst ourselves.

It's very handy.

It's very handy.

Yeah, and I feel like weather veins are going to have a real moment.

Yeah, and I feel like weather veins are going to have a real moment.

I just lie and say that was a great show because I am a total coward. Really?

I just lie and say that was a great show because I am a total coward. Really?

Did you always remember your line in that one?

Or if that's what I said.

All right, you ready?

Also, they're like, it's a color I've never seen before. Like, how do they know?

I've seen blue-green.

High fives. Can I get a hint?

luke and that's that's what was most hurtful my parents gave it to me um so my husband had a friend group in college where every single person had a nickname as well and it's funny because to this day i don't know their real name so i just refer to these people like oh are you gonna call up baby hairs and see He's doing this weekend. What's your boy Jeans up to?

They were also weird nicknames that didn't make sense out of context.

Yes. This would give like a show like Sex and the City such a different look if they were sitting around having brunch and sniffing each other.

Wow. Wait, where is this pecker now? I think still there. So he's just out like ravaging the town.

I love that idea that he was so into pop culture because I feel like he had a really great sense of humor. And I feel like he was like, guys, wouldn't it be funny if I met J.D. Vance and then I died? Yeah.

Gum.

Wait, so you, and you can chew it like all the time? Or how does it?

Yeah, or you just do it like, or you do it like a vaccine. You just chew on it once a year. Oh, I think it's like pretty often.

Oh, the hair and makeup department at the State Department.

Um, annul his wedding.

Nagin Farsad. Taking a page from The Daily Show and MSNBC, the papacy will have a rotating cast of popes changing every night of the week. And Luke Burbank.

I also think, you know how you can like carry around like a little personal fan for when you're hot? I think personal smoke machine for when you just want to like share a bit of detail about your life.

I won't do it again. So how many, like, icebergs melted because of this lover spat?

So, okay, so I have a question which is, Like, do we have a quota as people for how nice we can be? And then if we are nice to AI all the time, are we then mean to our moms?

Right, right. And if you're mean to your mom, how many icebergs does that melt?

I love the idea of a four-star general showing up at the Pentagon and a PA being like, should I take you to hair and makeup?

As a kid, the only thing Ronald D'Souza feared more than getting pantsed was escalators. He feared that if he didn't tie his shoes before getting on an escalator, it would eat his legs. To this day, as an adult manager of the Macy's in Palm Desert, California, Ronald takes a beat too long to step on, waiting for the right step, missing the right step, and then waiting again for the right step.

One day, he was doing a VIP tour with vendors when the laces of his Oxfords came undone. He didn't notice and led the group to the escalator. That's when the escalator began to eat his shoe. He was reflexively pulled to his knees, and that's when his pant leg got sucked in, pulling his trousers down and showing off his tighty-whities. It was a double whammy childhood nightmare.

He was rescued, but only after his clients and a steady stream of shoppers were treated to the rear end of a man perched like he was getting a public prostate exam. Co-workers cut him out of the pants, after which he scurried to the men's section looking business on top, party on the bottom. Nowadays, Ronald takes the elevator.

The dental world is having a cultural moment. After years of Invisalign dominance, patients are finally getting hip to old school braces. And not just any patients, adult patients. That's right, being a metal mouth isn't just for begrudging virgins with pimples anymore. Adults are saying goodbye to plastic mouth trays and clear back brackets in favor of full industrial alloy chompers.

We're also seeing reports of respected adults making their maws festive with colorful brace bands. Green for St. Patrick's Day, red for Valentine's Day, or Labor Day's famous chartreuse. influencers such as Abby Clancy and Charlie James and rappers like Lil Uzi, all names that mean nothing to an NPR audience, are showing off their be-meddled pie holes on social media.

But as always, beware, if two metal mouths make out, they'll both pick up radio signals.

I remember when I had braces in the eighth grade, and I definitely didn't want them.

They, like, yell at, like, mannequins that are their children because you're not supposed to yell at your children. They get it out.

Also, at some point, does someone just give you an iPad? To just shut it down?

But I've never been to one. Have you guys been?

Thank you.

It's a traditional stuffed turkey in our home. Yes, absolutely.

I feel like let's go harder with it.

And my view is let's bring them to the United States and let's start tariffing each other. So it's like if you're wearing cargo pants too many times a month, you're tariffed. You know what I mean? Right. There's a lot of behaviors I think we can control amongst ourselves.

It's very handy.

Yeah, and I feel like weather veins are going to have a real moment.

I just lie and say that was a great show because I am a total coward. Really?

So you, of course, released the smash hit Uptown Funk. So we're going to ask you about downtown funk or stinky city smells. And amazingly, in this quiz, we only use the word urine once. Now answer two out of three questions correctly and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Mark Bronson playing for?

All right. Here's your first question. Most towns come to their funks naturally, but some create their own, including Lincoln, Nebraska, which in the winter smells like what? Is it A, nutmeg, which they mix in with their road salt? Is it B, new car smell from their factory that makes artificial new car smell kicking up production?

Or is it C, animal pee which they spray on their pine trees to keep people from stealing them for Christmas trees?

And that is correct. The answer is animal pee.

All right, here's your next question. Lots of cities have bad smells, but not every city has a song about how bad it smells. Which of these is a real recording? Is it A, the aroma of Tacoma, Is it B, my dear Eureka, how Eureka? Or is it C, Pueblo, Colorado, smells like a rotten egg made of dead skunks?

Some combination of a paper mill and oil refinery and Tacoma's natural stank made a smell so strong it was immortalized in song. Not going to lie. It's a bop.

All right, so here is your last question. GQ magazine published a list of the best smelling cities in the world, including New Orleans, which they praised for what combination of scents? Was it A, incense and sweat? Was it B, old beer and frying fat? Or was it C, strawberry hurricanes and puked up strawberry hurricanes?

I'm sorry. The answer is B, old beer and frying fat. Got New Orleans on the good smelling list. All right, Bill, how did Mark do on our quiz?

Mark Ronson is a Grammy and Oscar-winning producer, writer, and DJ who composed the score and produced the soundtrack for the Barbie movie. Mark Ronson, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Yeah.

I was just like, I was expecting you to be like broccoli and then other forms of broccoli.

They would fall off all the time. Were you playing this little piggy? And you were like, this little piggy goes and goes.

She's like, it's a hallucination! Yay!

Yeah.

Did you have an inkling then that it was going to be this worldwide phenomenon?

So I want to talk to you a little bit about being a DJ. We talked before the show, and as you know, I have, in fact, shaken my booty, as it were, at a club where you were DJing. And it was just an incredible night. It was so fun. But it made me think, you probably see a a lot of weird stuff on the dance floor.

Are you like basically embarrassed for everyone as you see them dancing to your music or?

Well, let's talk about Barbie, another worldwide phenomenon. I want to talk to you about scoring the movie, which you also did. Now that you've scored a movie, do you find yourself scoring dramatic moments in your own life? Or just like mundane, like you're just like chatting with the barista and then it's like, meh, meh, meh, meh.

Is it true that the song, I Want to Know What Love Is, was written about your mom?

Is it that one Harrison Ford ad?

Over and over?

Oh, so you're Harrison Ford.

So he has enough money to buy a landfill? I mean, I've never bought one myself. No, he's going to pay... So just how much are these landfills running these days? Also...

Yeah, this feels like a promissory note.

Or we just need another round of tariffs, but this time on the asteroid. That'll keep it away. They do everything. They do everything.

New York City.

I know, just when you drive a country out of the... The asteroid hits it.

Congestion pricing?

McCarthy. What? McCartney.

He decided to marry his robot.

The pennies will be equally distributed among barista tip jars from coast to coast.

Can I defend this guy for a second?

No, I'm just saying that it is a slippery slope because once we let all these things be fine, and we're just letting big etiquette take over and dictate everything we do.

And the asteroid has a point.

What?

I would be so jealous. I'd be like, you're coming home smelling like titanium? No, thank you.

I mean, it kind of makes sense to just have an understudy, I guess.

You know, like in theater, you have an understudy if you can't perform. And in this situation, the robot is your understudy.

Alice Benton is a third-generation oil tycoon from Lockhart, Texas, which means he didn't have to prospect land, but he did get a few years after college to discover his passion for DJing in Ibiza. Eventually, he moved back home to be his family's overseer of oil money, and that's when he met Bridget Calhoun. She was a real charmer, getting her PhD in antiquities, and he fell hard.

To impress her, he would buy concert tickets, Michelin-starred meals, a straight-up yacht in a landlocked town, but never mind. One time they took her nephew to a water park and she said, this is fun. Well, that was all the encouragement he needed because he immediately hired a water park architect to transform his backyard into a $1.2 million splashitarium complete with lazy river and wave pool.

Only thing is that water park architect turned out to be a real dream boat. She ended up leaving Hollis Benton and all his wealth. On the upside, he saved money, proving the old adage, if you have to spend $1.2 million on a water park to impress your boo, she's probably not the one.

Even though dubstep is so 10 years ago, the public was enraged. Tens of protesters gathered in front of the college. To date, the musicians and the public are at a standstill. Cadwallader is quoted as saying, I don't know, like, I might just take up guitar. Or however she would have said it, and that's my approximation of how she would have said that.

Can I ask a question about Olaf? Yes. So I have a six-year-old daughter. So your voice is like in my apartment all the time. And I, you're great.

What kind of relationship do you have with the parents of the children that go nuts?

He has more dignity than that, Josh.

Okay, the seats are not connected to the chassis, which I'm imagining is the main car. Main part of the car, yes. Sorry for using technical automotive industry terms. And so why is it not fastened?

That one guy, Ron, didn't put in, you know.

I was joking.

Okay. But also, did anyone tell Ron that thing about how a chair is supposed to be on a thing called a chassis? Possibly. Maybe he didn't know the word.

Big pockets. Oh, you can fit all that hair in one pocket, then that's not that much hair.

Oh, you're treating it like he's at a bodega, like picking a country to be, to shop for.

Wildfires. Right.

Avian bird flu.

Alcohol.

Her mom.

Netflix?

Arby's?

Bought him some Arby's.

12's the number to beat, guys.

They'll have to pay for rat sightings, and the toll is a slice of pizza paid directly to each rat.

Oh, my god. Peter, yeah. I mean, forget. I mean, I was on a subway the other day, and just like a wet thing just fell into my brow. And I was like, what was that wet thing? And I think it was some sort of a leak because maybe the train had been outside and then went underground or whatever. But forget chandeliers. I just want that one wet thing not to come on my face. Not to fall on your face.

Bone dry trains. Yeah. Just a dry train would be so delightful.

Go back to sleep.

But I mean, it's so clunky. If they had been doing this, instead of it being like, go ahead, make my day, it would be like, as you can see, I'm carrying a gun now.

No, not as much. Not as much. I, Sam, am playing it again. Here in Casablanca.

Oh, they... Well, then it would be like, I'm putting the lotion on my skin.

That'll bring, like, a third category of actor. Like, you know, you have a face for radio, so you can have, like, a face for, like, movies, or you can have a face for Netflix. You know?

Yeah, no one's going to look at you. It doesn't really matter.

You get like some Ikea furniture that needs assembling.

The Welsh are known for their love of the harp. In fact, it's the national instrument. It was medieval Wales that created something called the Welsh triple harp, which from what I understand is three times more harp than the average harp. Point is, the Welsh are unabashed harpies. Which is why a scandal erupted at the Wales College of Music when a group of upstart harpists wanted to innovate.

These radical harp apostates started by using gut strings on their harps instead of the traditional plated horsehair. I mean, can you imagine? Then, one of the musicians, Kylie Cadwallader, decided to lean her harp on her right shoulder instead of her left, like some sort of terrorist. Things really went off the rails when the musicians released a harp track set to a dubstep beat.

Sebu Satiki, starting flanker for New Zealand's All Blacks national rugby team, was one of the side's most devastating defensive players, shutting down opponents and once making 85 tackles in one game. That is until he started taking a homeopathic recipe for a shoulder injury. As teammate Bodhi Acosta explains, it made his shoulder better, but he started to play a little differently.

His teammates noted Sevu wasn't as aggressive in defense. Then he'd strike up conversations with the other sides in the scrum, says Acosta, referring to those big eight-man rugby huddles that look like rattan made of meat. When team medics took a closer look at the remedies Satake had been taking, they learned it had been linked to huge increases in empathy and compassion as a side effect.

By the time we figured out the issue, he was stopping us from stepping on ladybugs on the pitch, says Acosta. I mean, empathy is great, but not when France is thwacking you 21 to nothing.

Hello.

But there's nothing worse than when the champagne gets jammed and then the next person comes along and gets two bottles of champagne.

You're drinking my champagne.

No.

His chauffeur, who is a dog. No? His death wish.

Is the city now suing the sausage biscuit or are they holding on criminal charges? They'll take it in for question where it's going to be grilled.

That's not respectful. What body part should she have used? That's a good question.

Wait, this has turned into QVC. We only have 15 pairs left. Call it now. All right, here is your next limerick.

That's true.

And Adam Burke, a shell oil-themed restaurant which will move in on and tear down all of the rainforest cafes.

So riz didn't have enough riz to still be the word.

I only think it's fair to say this because Joe Biden likes to bring up his Catholic faith a lot in his secular job. But... I was raised Catholic, and we're supposed to follow Christ's example. Yes. And Jesus asked his dad to get him off of his little legal contract. Oh, yeah. And even Jesus' dad was like, trust the process. Yeah, sorry. Yeah.

Would you?

Just him doing car noises in his underwear.

I've never been to one. Is it just... I've never been to one. I've never been to one.

Because Slash would actually hang out at the Hard Rock Cafe. It wasn't even animatronic. It was just him reaching over and grabbing your fries.

You spread cream cheese on bread. Also, all cream cheese is drinkable if it's warm enough. True.

Where was this? Japan. You really think white people would have come up with this?

I really want to see the television commercials for this. I want to see a bunch of people on the beach playing volleyball. Like, man, I worked up a sweat. Hand me the mayo.