Negin Farsad
Appearances
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: GWAR
So he has enough money to buy a landfill? I mean, I've never bought one myself. No, he's going to pay... So just how much are these landfills running these days? Also...
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: GWAR
Or we just need another round of tariffs, but this time on the asteroid. That'll keep it away. They do everything. They do everything.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: GWAR
I know, just when you drive a country out of the... The asteroid hits it.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: GWAR
The pennies will be equally distributed among barista tip jars from coast to coast.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: GWAR
No, I'm just saying that it is a slippery slope because once we let all these things be fine, and we're just letting big etiquette take over and dictate everything we do.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: GWAR
I would be so jealous. I'd be like, you're coming home smelling like titanium? No, thank you.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: GWAR
I mean, it kind of makes sense to just have an understudy, I guess.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: GWAR
You know, like in theater, you have an understudy if you can't perform. And in this situation, the robot is your understudy.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: GWAR
Alice Benton is a third-generation oil tycoon from Lockhart, Texas, which means he didn't have to prospect land, but he did get a few years after college to discover his passion for DJing in Ibiza. Eventually, he moved back home to be his family's overseer of oil money, and that's when he met Bridget Calhoun. She was a real charmer, getting her PhD in antiquities, and he fell hard.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: GWAR
To impress her, he would buy concert tickets, Michelin-starred meals, a straight-up yacht in a landlocked town, but never mind. One time they took her nephew to a water park and she said, this is fun. Well, that was all the encouragement he needed because he immediately hired a water park architect to transform his backyard into a $1.2 million splashitarium complete with lazy river and wave pool.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: GWAR
Only thing is that water park architect turned out to be a real dream boat. She ended up leaving Hollis Benton and all his wealth. On the upside, he saved money, proving the old adage, if you have to spend $1.2 million on a water park to impress your boo, she's probably not the one.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Josh Gad
Even though dubstep is so 10 years ago, the public was enraged. Tens of protesters gathered in front of the college. To date, the musicians and the public are at a standstill. Cadwallader is quoted as saying, I don't know, like, I might just take up guitar. Or however she would have said it, and that's my approximation of how she would have said that.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Josh Gad
Can I ask a question about Olaf? Yes. So I have a six-year-old daughter. So your voice is like in my apartment all the time. And I, you're great.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Josh Gad
What kind of relationship do you have with the parents of the children that go nuts?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Josh Gad
Okay, the seats are not connected to the chassis, which I'm imagining is the main car. Main part of the car, yes. Sorry for using technical automotive industry terms. And so why is it not fastened?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Josh Gad
Okay. But also, did anyone tell Ron that thing about how a chair is supposed to be on a thing called a chassis? Possibly. Maybe he didn't know the word.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Josh Gad
Big pockets. Oh, you can fit all that hair in one pocket, then that's not that much hair.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Josh Gad
Oh, you're treating it like he's at a bodega, like picking a country to be, to shop for.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Josh Gad
They'll have to pay for rat sightings, and the toll is a slice of pizza paid directly to each rat.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Josh Gad
Oh, my god. Peter, yeah. I mean, forget. I mean, I was on a subway the other day, and just like a wet thing just fell into my brow. And I was like, what was that wet thing? And I think it was some sort of a leak because maybe the train had been outside and then went underground or whatever. But forget chandeliers. I just want that one wet thing not to come on my face. Not to fall on your face.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Josh Gad
Bone dry trains. Yeah. Just a dry train would be so delightful.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Josh Gad
But I mean, it's so clunky. If they had been doing this, instead of it being like, go ahead, make my day, it would be like, as you can see, I'm carrying a gun now.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Josh Gad
No, not as much. Not as much. I, Sam, am playing it again. Here in Casablanca.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Josh Gad
Oh, they... Well, then it would be like, I'm putting the lotion on my skin.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Josh Gad
That'll bring, like, a third category of actor. Like, you know, you have a face for radio, so you can have, like, a face for, like, movies, or you can have a face for Netflix. You know?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Josh Gad
Yeah, no one's going to look at you. It doesn't really matter.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Josh Gad
The Welsh are known for their love of the harp. In fact, it's the national instrument. It was medieval Wales that created something called the Welsh triple harp, which from what I understand is three times more harp than the average harp. Point is, the Welsh are unabashed harpies. Which is why a scandal erupted at the Wales College of Music when a group of upstart harpists wanted to innovate.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Josh Gad
These radical harp apostates started by using gut strings on their harps instead of the traditional plated horsehair. I mean, can you imagine? Then, one of the musicians, Kylie Cadwallader, decided to lean her harp on her right shoulder instead of her left, like some sort of terrorist. Things really went off the rails when the musicians released a harp track set to a dubstep beat.