Matt Pinfield

Gang, breaking news from here at Antony's. We are about to drop the Are You Garbage comedy special.

Kev, let's talk about Blue Chew, baby. Knock, knock. Who's there? Boner alert. That's right. Don't act like you don't know Blue Chew. I know. Oh, I know.

Woo. Talk about the plug, Daddy-O. I know it well. That's a pain in the goddamn right with Blue Chew, you get me? Stuff's fantastic. Sure. Gang, if you don't know about Blue Chew, do yourself a favor. Listen, you get a little bit older, you put on a couple of pounds. Not me specifically.

Things don't operate the way they used to. Everybody needs a little help. A little something in the toolbox, if you know what I mean. I hate that. I mean, for all you fishermen out there, we all got our favorite lure, right? You need some power bait from time to time. They're not biting on the old hot dog chunks.

Get over there to Blue Chew. Get yourself straightened out, man. Spice it up a little bit. Do your thing.

Gang, today's episode is sponsored by Acorns. Acorns. We love Acorns. Yeah. Acorns makes it easy to start automatically saving and investing so your money has a chance to grow for you, your kids, and your retirement. Sure. You don't need to be an expert. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio. You ever thought those words would come out of my mouth? Never. Diversified portfolio.

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A hot hand in a dice game.

And, gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly, special guest back with us again today. He's family at this point. He's one of your favorites, one of our favorites. You can hear him every week on his amazing podcast, Soder. Give it up for the one, the only, Dan Soder.

You listen to any new shit? You know what's going on?

Like that Gary Clark Jr.

Was he in New York recently?

A true swordsman.

No kidding.

There you go.

You have that styrofoam cup of coffee in your hand?

Let me fucking tell you.

You ever been in show business, Fatty?

Okay, that's Dan Soder, everybody.

Dan, we're going to slide you into Headbanger Bowl next weekend. Hey, Pinfield needs to have a word.

He had a great voice.

You heard it here first.

You're not a watch guy, are you?

Yeah.

They should have done that with Irv. Yeah. And Kurt Cobain. Yeah. Bad. That was bad.

I have two thinner wrists. Is that what it is? Yeah. You think you have thin wrists?

Or maybe you just got long fingies.

Your crew did that because a couple of your boys that had bars tried to set that up. What do you mean? A couple of my boys that had bars. You make it sound like I'm in the mob or something. A couple of the guys.

I remember being in bottle service situations with you and your friends.

Damn, you got it like that. I'll get the mixers.

You just come by with an orange juice.

A little of my coffee? Come back the next week, there's a bunch of fruit flies in there.

Yeah, they cork it. Oh, the girl must hate you when you come back.

Man.

Food coming out in those sexy situations was always a bad look.

It's got ginseng in it. I'm fighting off something.

How about a head nod to the drummer? There you go. What's up? Yeah. Say something about after the show.

My boys are over at the club. We're hanging here.

I always thought that was just a cello. Really?

Shout out to Pinfield. Coming for Oprah next.

That's the most common one. Did you buy that at the Chick-fil-A or did you buy it at the grocery store?

I put that on frigging everything. And you're okay with the Chick-fil-A sauce not being on Chick-fil-A product?

Could it be frozen chicken nuggets at the house?

I think if you're buying a restaurant, it's capitalism what it is.

How come McDonald's hasn't gotten that? How come there's not a fucking bottle of mac sauce next to the fucking mayonnaise?

Play the guitar a little bit.

Which I've heard mixed things about.

Who's a goddamn worker, that Donnie Wahlburger.

He crazed it. All those episodes of fucking Blue Bloods.

I was on the tour bus, and I had this idea for sauce.

Remember when you found out it was him and fucking Sixth Sense?

Lost a weight for the role.

Love a weight loss for a role. Opposite of that Bruce Willis. Done very well for himself.

There I was. Shout out to Jeffrey Gurry. Gang, the show is brought to you by BetterHelp. And if anybody knows about BetterHelp, it's us two lunatics right here sitting here. I'll tell you that right now. Gang, if you're thinking about starting talk therapy, get on BetterHelp. Yes. All right? Talk therapy is very important.

As most of you know, I started my journey with talk therapy, and it has started to significantly help me. What? You might not see it outwardly, but things are churning. Things are turning. Sure. And there's nowhere a better place to start than BetterHelp. You can do it in the privacy of your own home. You can text. You can video. You can call. Whatever you need.

They also might have experts that aren't in your area that you can have access to. Licensed therapists. Do yourself a favor. Whether you got a big problem, you got a small problem, you just want to talk something out or something's really been bugging you for years, talk to somebody, man, and BetterHelp can help.

Skip, talk about that liquid. I vizzle. Shout out to Liquid IV, baby.

We're not even... Listen, when it comes to Liquid IV, we love this shit.

We absolutely love this shit. We were drinking it before they were sponsors.

And I just got over the flu. And let me tell you something. Uncle Hanky was sucking on that like mother's milk. If you're sick, if you're hungover...

If you're doing your wind sprints or whatever, your karaoke, whatever it is that you're doing at the gym, yeah, of course. You got the electrolytes in there. We're talking dirt bag stuff. Hydrates you three times faster than regular water. Uh-huh. You got to do it. Dude, I'm telling you, when you're sick, man, there ain't nothing better. Take your, what's the things that everybody has? Yetis.

Get your Yeti. Load that up with ice. Throw a liquid IV in there. Fill it up. Shake it. Get in bed. And man, one of those in the middle of the night when you're coming off a thieve. Woo! Woo! Wait, I can't say enough about Liquid IV. My new favorite flavor is that sour cherry. Shout out to it. Golden cherry.

I want to suck you off, dude. No, definitely some jam sessions in the fraternity house.

That's insane.

Because that is a big thing. We talked about this early on in the conception of the show. Cooking with takeout or leftovers from takeout. Love it. The next day is very garbage. It's also- Very great.

100%. I waited tables with a girl in Philly where she exclusively did that. And she would mix medias. She would put Chinese and fries together.

Putting it all together.

It's over. Those things are through the roof. Man, it's like you go and they're gone.

I'm at a Nordstrom Rack buying pasture-raised eggs.

You're the first couple chords that come as you are. Must be the accounting frat.

That's just a whopper and an egg shell.

Grab some eight-year-old and do the whip on her.

Jam sesh would break out. There was a couple of kids in the fraternity that were actually pretty good.

It's not about seeing other people.

And at the time, I pushed myself off as a vocalist.

Yeah. I walked into a bad one at a birthday dinner. I've mentioned it on the pod a couple of times. Bad one. One of my favorite places, Danico, downtown, Cafe Danico. Bowl of mussels right in front of me. I pushed it. What's wrong? Tell me. My birthday dinner. She broke up with you on your birthday dinner? It's over. And then we had to go to a surprise party that she had set up for me.

Why not wait until the day after? You can be very persistent. I had it coming.

I'm still probably horrible.

Horrible at rollerblading. I was petrified, too.

Social anxiety, petrified. If it wasn't for that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game where they had the four things, I probably would have killed myself.

What a slushie.

Some of my boys were like naturals, just killing it, going around, doing it.

Hey, man, the dance is over. Yeah. You should know a fat guy like me.

I'm going to go smoke this place. That's exactly it.

I'll be back next week. Yeah.

And then you'd fucking whip it back. It was like a security blanket. I used that going into my freshman year of college at football camp like it was an invisible blanket.

As long as I had that thing around my neck or was doing that, I was okay.

This guy rocks. You'll appreciate this cringe moment. There was a kid that was really good at guitar. I had already been kicked out of school. I was at theater school. I'm hanging out there on a Saturday.

TJ. Kevin Ryan, sorry about the pizza grease.

Hey, good luck losing in the playoffs, ladies. What?

Yeah, but the dude, there was like a bunch of dudes smoking weed in one of the rooms, went in there, and he was like, Foley, you can sing, right? I'm like, yeah, man, I can sing.

You got to fucking vest up.

Nice little base, some eggs, some toast.

I try to shove it. That's funny. On a date, she gets a Cosmo. You're like, oh, the brisk.

It's a little dignified.

Unsweetened iced tea.

You cannot say anything about a guy ordering an unsweetened iced tea.

I would probably, when I would have my dad. What are you taking your vitamins to?

Great song right there. Who was that, Electric Light Orchestra? No. Emerson, Lake, and Palmer?

What was the vodka you remember?

Yeah. I was going to say.

God damn it. It's the guy from the Traveling Blueberries, right? I haven't known three of the bands. That's a New Mexican ring grass. Was that Los Lobos? It wasn't Irv Gotti, I can tell you that. Rest in peace, big dog. It's murder. And the dude played Not Creep, Fake Plastic Trees. And I sang that.

But I already got this tattoo with your name on it. I was bringing over a recipe for your mom. Could you handle this guy or no?

His boys are looking for you, too. That's a little excessive. That's a posse.

Sure.

You're in high school?

What the hell are you talking about?

These are live show tapes, I assume.

Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians, and we found that it's a good to be classy. Yeah. Just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, Tate Trolley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in the new edition.

I'm going to wrap it up. Ladies and gentlemen, what are the absolute best in the business? One of my faves. You guys are the best. On stage and off, Mr. Dan Soder. Hear him every week on his amazing podcast, Soder. Absolutely fantastic. Buddy, what else you got coming up?

As a 90s kid, man. I mean, they hit us over the head with that shit. We weren't ready for that. All that sweet stuff.

We love you, buddy. We always say that you are truly one of the funniest stand-up comedians.

Absolute killer.

Next Sunday night, we're going to be in Austin, Texas.

That's been coming up a lot.

Look at you. Great job, Lukey. Fucking new guy, Luke, earning his fucking key. Do yourself a favor. Put down whatever you listen to to listen to one of them albums.

Man, it is great. Shit was all right back then, man. Good job to Guess Who. It was all right. I've been listening to Don't Walk Away, Renee. You know that song? No.

Thinking, like, oh, this is so-and-so?

Yeah.

Player? Yeah.

Did Daryl Hall write that maybe and sell it?

That's pretty good. Add it to the road playlist. I get that. I had the same confusion with Back in the New York Groove. Yeah, Ace Frehley from Kiss. Ace Frehley and then Hello was the other band, the original band that did it. No way. Yeah. I didn't know that was a cover. I'll tell you right now. Dude. Their version's better. Really? Nothing against Mr. Freely.

She's out in the garage shining up the spinners. Okay. Getting ready. All right. Thought that was going to hit a little harder.

Sody's a big 90s music guy. I remember you telling a story. Sody's a big 90s guy.

The first time I connected.

The first time I connected with you, we hadn't met yet. You were on a podcast. That's weird. And you were talking about... I was like, oh, this guy gets it. You were on a podcast, and you were talking about being drunk and listening to Porch alone in the dark smoking a cigarette.

I saw it. Release me!

What do you mean? That's in the Patreon. That's diaper rifles over there on Patreon. I thought that was going to kill, but it didn't. But here we are. No more taking sips when I'm hitting my punchlines. I didn't know that was a punchline. I thought it was more of a short story. Sweeten that up a little bit, Lee. Mike Coase is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?

What?

That kid was like 21 when he wrote that shit. That's crazy.

Catch a movie or something. Fuck man.

Playing a lot of highlights and missed calls this week from that Super Bowl.

Yeah. Especially him. He'd pin you. I mean, dude, he'd fucking have you half Nelson. We're both petrified of Vecchione.

How's your mom is a power move.

This is the boat's moving. That's all right. Getting drunk by yourself, listening to music, crying, smoking cigarettes is a pretty good time. It was a staple of my life. Pretty good time. And that's what I'm saying. That 90s stuff came out of nowhere. I was in touch with my feelings like that.

Billy Corrigan, man, he got me. He's got to be worth a couple of bucks. Yeah, I think he's doing all right. Yeah, we do. You mean that rock star? Melancholy Infinite Sadness. That's one of the top selling double CDs of all time.

He is an international businessman and a tough laugh, let me tell you. Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan, everybody.