Mark Agnon

You can barely get an adult to be honest.

You can barely get an adult to be honest.

I wonder if art could be a helpful sort of conduit for conversation for kids in this regard, like taking them through like an essay, like the way you did or, you know, drawing or painting.

I wonder if art could be a helpful sort of conduit for conversation for kids in this regard, like taking them through like an essay, like the way you did or, you know, drawing or painting.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's just, yeah, I can see why these channels for kids are so important to have space for them to open up honestly, and not without the coercion or the pressure. You know, you take a kid down to a police station, the fear of, oh, am I going to do something wrong? Am I going to put my parents in jail?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's just, yeah, I can see why these channels for kids are so important to have space for them to open up honestly, and not without the coercion or the pressure. You know, you take a kid down to a police station, the fear of, oh, am I going to do something wrong? Am I going to put my parents in jail?

I put my keys on the hood still or I'll put them on the roof. I remember talking to people being like, why do you do that? I was in a very white suburb of Florida and I was like, oof, I don't want to mess around. So I couldn't imagine being a kid and having this happen. It's something I think about with childhood trauma in general, outside of even just sexual trauma, but just all trauma.

I put my keys on the hood still or I'll put them on the roof. I remember talking to people being like, why do you do that? I was in a very white suburb of Florida and I was like, oof, I don't want to mess around. So I couldn't imagine being a kid and having this happen. It's something I think about with childhood trauma in general, outside of even just sexual trauma, but just all trauma.

I'm curious if this sort of resonated for you, but I've heard that when children are traumatized, specifically by people that they trust, They don't have the emotional apparatus to look at their abuser or their traumatizer and say like, oh, that's a bad person. Instead, they hold the esteem of that person that did it. And they say, I must be a bad person.

I'm curious if this sort of resonated for you, but I've heard that when children are traumatized, specifically by people that they trust, They don't have the emotional apparatus to look at their abuser or their traumatizer and say like, oh, that's a bad person. Instead, they hold the esteem of that person that did it. And they say, I must be a bad person.

I must be someone that's worth treating poorly. And as a result, they create this real negative sense of self. And if their parents are abusive, they say, my parents are good. I'm bad, which is why I'm being treated this way. Instead of having the emotional maturity to say, no, they are.

I must be someone that's worth treating poorly. And as a result, they create this real negative sense of self. And if their parents are abusive, they say, my parents are good. I'm bad, which is why I'm being treated this way. Instead of having the emotional maturity to say, no, they are.

broken in this moment or they're doing something wrong to an innocent kid and that they hold on and sort of internalize all the pain that has happened to them and I imagine it's probably similar in your case that this thing happens from someone you trust and the rest of your teen years you just go I'm bad I am you know I'm worthless and this thing that happened to me is you know my fault and just suppressing all of those emotions the self-hatred and the self-loathing just like is just like building an enormous you know

broken in this moment or they're doing something wrong to an innocent kid and that they hold on and sort of internalize all the pain that has happened to them and I imagine it's probably similar in your case that this thing happens from someone you trust and the rest of your teen years you just go I'm bad I am you know I'm worthless and this thing that happened to me is you know my fault and just suppressing all of those emotions the self-hatred and the self-loathing just like is just like building an enormous you know

So then you eventually go to college.

So then you eventually go to college.

And college is fine. You have a decent time.

And college is fine. You have a decent time.

So in that moment when you're saying no... you don't have a cognizant feeling of like, oh, because of my trauma and the baggage that I'm dealing with, I'm unable to have intimacy. The feeling in your brain is just on fire. Like, hey, connection is dangerous. I can't let this person get close.

So in that moment when you're saying no... you don't have a cognizant feeling of like, oh, because of my trauma and the baggage that I'm dealing with, I'm unable to have intimacy. The feeling in your brain is just on fire. Like, hey, connection is dangerous. I can't let this person get close.