Luann
Appearances
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
Well, there's a lot going on right now that's not this.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
I'll just say that. That's fair. But I have been there a half dozen times at least since this started. Okay.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
And I wouldn't argue with that at all.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
Couldn't talk, couldn't talk, couldn't talk. She does not communicate except by text. Can't call either of our younger two kids on the phone. That's just not right. And it got further and further away. And then last fall, she broke up with us with a text. She sent us a text saying she wanted to go no contact, that she didn't want to discuss why.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
And she would let us know when she was ready to talk to us again. So I'm kind of just What's next for me?
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
Two will talk on the phone. Okay. One does text. Okay. But we're not in the same town.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
You're too smart to just be like, I don't know.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
That's part of what's going on here. The oldest two say, this is nuts. She's being, this is not right.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
The third one says boggled. And I have asked her, in fact, in her late teens, early twenties, she was in therapy. I was too, not because of each other. It was for separate issues, but because we were in a small town and it was convenient, we used the same therapist. He did a stupid therapist thing one day and started talking to me, dealing with something she was dealing with.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
And I went blank, and I just looked at him because I knew it was happening, and he said, oh, my God, I just did it, and I shouldn't have. He acknowledged it, and he went on. But he did tell me, again, unethical, there's two things you need to talk to your daughter about. You need to figure these two things out. And she and I talked about one.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
four times since then and she was like I said maybe 20 at the most four times I have said can we talk about the other thing but that I don't know what it is and I've told her that and she says no you don't know what it is and she'll say no I'm not ready and then um uh Christmas a year ago she said I will never be ready to talk to you about that so I suspect it's that but I can't I can't
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
I've racked my brains. She tells me I need to do some self-reflection. My best friend says I'm the queen of self-reflection. So I'm trying to figure out. I'm really trying to figure out. Now, when I go to the boards or when I go to websites and I go try to find out more about this phenomenon, the consensus is, you know, you're just not acknowledging. And I'm being honest. I want to acknowledge.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
I suspect there's some of that. I did try. We did try.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
Well, who doesn't try to shield their kids from some horrible thing?
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
I'm calling you about my daughter. Okay. She's 30. We homeschooled our kids. We raised them in the church. It got further and further away, and then she broke up with us with a text.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
Okay. My husband's been encouraging me to do that for a while, and when she cut off last fall, he said, there you go. There's nothing we can do.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
Okay. Well, you could say it the wrong way and walk it back.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
Well, it's Tuesday, just so you're aware.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
And I can, I could understand that. Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
Thank you for having me on. I appreciate it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
I would love to be able to do that, but when she went contact, she moved.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
Well, I'm calling you about my daughter. Okay. She's 30. We also have three sons who are, I don't know, between 35 and 45. So we're old enough to retire, but we're not yet because we're just having too much fun working. We homeschooled our kids. We raised them in the church. They went to public university. Probably when she was about 22, 23, 24 in that she started just being too busy to talk.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
I don't think so. I don't ask them. I don't want to sound like I'm trying to get information from them.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
I would think so, but I also don't... I could see her saying, ah, she's trying to get information from you, huh?
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
I do feel like, though... That the culture, the atmosphere around this phenomenon is saying, you don't have the right to miss your child.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
They have made an adult's decision and you're just going to have to accept it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
That's what I, and we did talk about that at one point in time. I said, you know, I just feel like someday I'm going to be gone and you're going to think, oh my gosh.
The Dr. John Delony Show
My Daughter Refuses to Talk to Me (Why?)
I genuinely didn't see it that way.