Lorne Michaels

Someone said, you know, you've already done Saturday Night Live. Somebody who wants to be you does Saturday Night Live. And I thought, oh, right, well...

Well, you understand my chagrin. It's just about the only box my face hasn't been on.

All kidding aside, a man's been murdered here. I'm afraid I can't let any of you go until you answer a couple of questions. What were each of you doing at 2.30 this afternoon? They all start writing their answers.

Isn't that the plot of Gone in 60 Seconds?

Hi, I'm Lorne Michaels, the producer of Saturday Night. Right now we're being seen by approximately 22 million viewers. But please allow me, if I may, to address myself to four very special people. John, Paul, George, and Ringo, the Beatles. Lately there have been a lot of rumors to the effect that the four of you might be getting back together. That would be great.

In my book, the Beatles are the best thing that ever happened to music. Well, if it's money you want, there's no problem here. The National Broadcasting Company has authorized me to offer you a certified check for $3,000. This check here is made out to the Beatles. You divide it any way you want. If you want to give Ringo less, that's up to you.

It'll be group.

We get the warhead and we hold the world ransom for one million dollars.

I do have two major announcements to make. No problem. No problem.