Longoria
Appearances
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
So I was looking for parking just earlier before the show and I stopped at the red light down on Trinity and I looked to my left and there were two gay guys kissing. And I thought to myself, good for them, good for them. I keep driving, right? I come to another red light out here. And again, I look to my left, two lesbians kissing. And I think to myself, nice, very nice.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
The light turns green and I keep driving. And I come to another red light. And I really wish I was making this up, because right there, a good friend of mine, another comic by the name of Joe Filey, pulls up right up next to me on a Harley. And, you know, it's a cool bike, but my guy is riding bitch, holding on to another guy's waist.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
And before I could even think, I was already, hold on tight, you wouldn't want to fall, you fucking .
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
32. What do you do for work? I work with dogs. I'm a dog groomer.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Well, I have a mobile salon, so that helps a lot. Like from Dumb and Dumber? Yeah, pretty much. Okay. Not as cool though. And I just, I take my time. Uh-huh. And... Sometimes I don't really get anything done and I have to come back to them maybe in a couple weeks or so. These are very aggressive dogs that I work with. Today I had two dogs and I almost died like 50 times.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Yeah, pretty much. That's what I do. I kind of like integrate into the... You smoke a lot of pot? Uh, yeah. After work.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Half Mexican and half Arab. Right. Boom. What's the Arab half? Egyptian.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
My mom's the Egyptian. My dad's Mexican. Where do they meet? How many kids do they have? Just me and my sister. Odd mix.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Yeah. They love each other. Some fucking how. I mean, they're still together.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
So interesting. What does your dad do for work? He's a farmer. Wait. Yeah.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
Well, I mean, I have four dogs of my own. So, I don't know. I just hang out with them and then I try to do comedy as much as I can. And that's about it. I don't really play many.
KILL TONY
#710 - KAM PATTERSON + TYLER FISCHER
It's two terriers and then two shepherds mix. Okay. Like a husky, once more of a husky and once more of a German shepherd, and then a border terrier and like a west terrier.