Linda
Appearances
The Deck
Carole Clement (Ace of Hearts, Florida)
I hope it makes them nervous. You know, I hope it makes them very nervous and upset that we might be getting close to an answer or a conclusion and that they might be held accountable because that's what hasn't happened yet.
The Deck
Carole Clement (Ace of Hearts, Florida)
She had goals and dreams. So much she wanted to do. She wanted to travel more. She wanted to learn more. She wanted to take some more Spanish lessons. Actually, Carol and I, when we were growing up, always wrote out what our goals were.
The Deck
Carole Clement (Ace of Hearts, Florida)
Nothing's going to bring Carol back or bring the joy that she would have brought to us back. That's gone forever. We're never going to give up. We're always going to have our ear to the ground. We're going to keep asking the question over and over until we get an answer or until we die.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
Well, my question for you is, can my marriage survive with our differences feeling insurmountable?
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
Yeah, I wrote some bullet points. Okay, go for it. Okay, cool. I've been married for 31 years. We've always been each other's yin and yang. There's an eight-year difference in age. He's late 60s. I'm early 60s. He began transitioning to retirement four years ago. He's a self-employed contractor. I retired two years ago. He was fully retired by then with occasional small jobs.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
Our opposites are getting harder and harder to accept in each other. Expressing feelings are difficult for him except negativity. I rarely hear I'm sorry from him voluntarily. I'm very verbal. I see the positive in things. And this all came to a head recently. I think it's because in September I decided I was going to start communicating with him in the same way he speaks to me.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
He got mad at me and yelled how unhappy he was and wanted to get into marriage counseling but only recently followed through to make the phone call. We do have a screening appointment in a couple of days. I've been through therapy on and off through the years. I'm in individual counseling right now. I started about a month ago. He says I'm a teller, not an asker, and that I control everything.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
He says he can't talk to me. I say he doesn't treat me with kindness when speaking to me. I'm tired of the negativity, so I ignore him a lot. Seems the happier I am in retirement, the grumpier he has become. I say he drinks and smokes too much, and I have zero tolerance for it anymore.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
We made a deal that he would sleep in the guest room when he was under the influence, which he has adhered to, and he has cut back significantly in the last month. I asked him to move into the guest room permanently on Thanksgiving because he hadn't made the phone call to get us into counseling.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
I want to remain in separate bedrooms until we are in counseling and want to work with a counselor before we go back to sleeping in the same room. So, Dr. John, is our marriage salvageable? And is this a common situation in older-slash-long-term marriages? Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
Well, because I've been in therapy, you know, recently. Come out before, but to say to you, yes. Yes, sir.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
I'd agree with that. I think the same thing. Why doesn't he like me?
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
And then I shut down and ignore him.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
And, like, he had to take an intake assessment and, you know, for us to get into therapy. And...
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
you know he's not well versed with computers and stuff like that so I had to do it with him and everything was how you feeling you know all of its answers were no not at all you know okay but hold on hold on can you imagine your wife says get out of my house unless you do this thing and you sit down to do that thing you don't even know how it works can you imagine how embarrassing that feels
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
He doesn't talk about his feelings. He never has.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
Well, like last night, the mental health people called to make the appointment for the screening phone call. And he got off the phone, and he was not a happy camper. And I couldn't understand whether it was anger or frustration. I mean, it was... It's just weird to me. It's shame.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
But yet he's lived with a girl who has been through serious trauma life stuff and seen how she's worked to heal that stuff. And yet that isn't enough for him to do one plus one equals two? You know what I mean?
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
That's not fair of me to expect that of him.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
But I wonder... Actually, it's me who snores.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
Well, I asked him one time, do you ever... think of our the health of our relationship or the status of our relationship or anything like that something along those lines no he's just always been this you know day at a time in the moment take it as it comes dude and is that also a big part of why you love him oh yeah for sure yeah no I mean and when excuse me you're good you're good
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
When it hit the fan, you know, after September, you know, we didn't talk for a few days. And it was like, okay, because, you know, like I said, I don't respond well to anger or negative energy towards me at all. And I'm not going to respond to that. I will ignore it. When you get over it, let me know. Hold on.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
My anger? Yeah. Because I'm tired, John.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
But he's not even capable of saying that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
Yes. Trust me. I tell him that we would not have the life that we have without each other. I would not have the life I have without him. That what we've built together is incredible. It's not good right now. You know, but we asked each other straight up. Do you still love me? Yes and yes. Would you think you'd be happier with somebody else? No and no. Do you want to get a divorce? No. Okay.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
Now we got something to work with. But this not being able to talk to each other anymore is nuts.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
I was thinking about, you know, how you tell parents with kids to get a journal and, you know, put it on the pillow every night or every time you write in it. I just don't know if he would play.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
I feel like I'm the one who does it all the time.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
I don't know. Well, and that's the thing. He has a boat. He goes fishing and takes the dog for a walk all the time. And, you know, that's it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a fishing license. I'm the bomb.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Get My Ex-Fiancée Back After I Lied?
But I'm also a Cinderella. The weather has to be just right.
The Ramsey Show
Your Feelings Don’t Build Wealth — Discipline Does
Thank you for taking my call. Sure. I'm wondering if my church should go into debt to purchase a parsonage.
The Ramsey Show
Your Feelings Don’t Build Wealth — Discipline Does
So we own a home. I figured that'd be your answer.
The Ramsey Show
Your Feelings Don’t Build Wealth — Discipline Does
Could I share some more information?
The Ramsey Show
Your Feelings Don’t Build Wealth — Discipline Does
Okay, so we own a home that's next door to the church, and we're members at the church. We've used this house as a rental, but now we'd like to sell it. And when we bought the house years ago, a few members that are on the church board had asked for first dibs if we ever decided to sell the house. So we gave the board the opportunity to purchase it for $210,000 on a cash offer.
The Ramsey Show
Your Feelings Don’t Build Wealth — Discipline Does
The home appraised at $233,000. So the board presented the opportunity to the church and then the congregation voted to go ahead with purchasing the home, but they left the option for how to pay for the home up to the church board. So we were then presented with a counter purchase agreement, but it's a financed offer.
The Ramsey Show
Your Feelings Don’t Build Wealth — Discipline Does
And we were really clear with the board that this was the opportunity to purchase the home for $210,000 cash. We wanted to give the church a deal as an act of goodwill. And The church has the money. They have well over $400,000 in extra savings that they have in CDs right now.
The Ramsey Show
Your Feelings Don’t Build Wealth — Discipline Does
But the board wants to keep that money in savings and not spend it on the home. And so we feel like we don't want to accept that mortgage offer for two reasons. One is because I don't think that the church needs to go into debt to buy the home. It's not a need. They have the money in savings to pay cash. Frankly, I think it's completely foolish for the church to go into debt for it.
The Ramsey Show
Your Feelings Don’t Build Wealth — Discipline Does
And additionally, we buy and sell a lot of real estate and we know that mortgage offers can tend to drag on and on. They take longer to close. Sometimes they require dumb little stuff to be fixed on the house. And so we're willing to accept less on a cash sale just for simplicity.
The Ramsey Show
Your Feelings Don’t Build Wealth — Discipline Does
Where like if we list it to the public, we would probably ask closer to the appraised value or even more to help us, you know, give us time and feel like we can put up with the nonsense that comes with a mortgage because we're getting more money for the house.
The Ramsey Show
Your Feelings Don’t Build Wealth — Discipline Does
So unfortunately, a lot of our friends at church have told us that we're straight up in the wrong, that we're being absolutely ridiculous to insist on a cash sale. And I just wondered if you agree, if you think that we're being ridiculous to say that we want it to be a cash sale.
The Ramsey Show
Your Feelings Don’t Build Wealth — Discipline Does
Mm-hmm. I think that's really good advice. Thank you for that.
The Ramsey Show
Your Feelings Don’t Build Wealth — Discipline Does
Well, friends that are on the church board that do have the vote that are making the decision.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Letting Money Conflicts Tear Your Relationships Apart
Is there a way to find a reputable attorney in Colorado? Sure. That was our other thing. It's like, how do you find one there without...
The Ramsey Show
Stop Letting Money Conflicts Tear Your Relationships Apart
Hey, my husband and I are wondering how he can acquire his portion of the will that his mother wrote. So she passed away in 2006 and wrote a will giving the family home to her children. And his brother has lived in the house all of his life. and still lives there. Was the will probated? The will was probated by their stepdad in 2007. She passed away in 2006.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Letting Money Conflicts Tear Your Relationships Apart
Yes, it was just one of those where he had the right to occupy during his lifetime.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Letting Money Conflicts Tear Your Relationships Apart
The house is in Colorado, and at the time of probate, It was retitled to all three siblings.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Letting Money Conflicts Tear Your Relationships Apart
No, she lost her battle with depression in 2017.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Letting Money Conflicts Tear Your Relationships Apart
So he had, after, it was almost two years after the stepfather passed away, he approached his brother about either buying him out or selling the home. And he said, absolutely not. I have no interest in selling the home, and I'm not going to buy you out.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Letting Money Conflicts Tear Your Relationships Apart
He has lived in it all his life.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Letting Money Conflicts Tear Your Relationships Apart
He has a roommate there that pays him rent. Okay. Well, here's the thing.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Letting Money Conflicts Tear Your Relationships Apart
Well, they love each other. I didn't ask that. I asked if they had a relationship. No.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Letting Money Conflicts Tear Your Relationships Apart
I said they love each other. There's this mountain in the middle of the house.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Letting Money Conflicts Tear Your Relationships Apart
I said liquidating the estate is selling the house, correct? Yeah, you sell the house.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Letting Money Conflicts Tear Your Relationships Apart
From what we can tell, it's probably right around $400,000.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Letting Money Conflicts Tear Your Relationships Apart
Oh, no, he's as tired of it as I am.
The Ramsey Show
Stop Letting Money Conflicts Tear Your Relationships Apart
He's just a super nice guy.