Kim Scott

Yeah, absolutely. And I think as I tell you the Bob story and for all the folks out there listening, I want you to think about your Bob story because everyone, I'm going to tell a painful story about a big mistake I made, but I'm not alone. I think almost everyone has made some version of this mistake.

And if you think about your Bob story, that is what will help you move from ruinous empathy to radical candor more than anything else you could do is just think of your story, your Bob story and give it a title. And then when you're tempted not to say the thing, you'll remember the story and you'll say the thing. So here's what happened to me. I had hired this guy. I really liked him a lot.

And if you think about your Bob story, that is what will help you move from ruinous empathy to radical candor more than anything else you could do is just think of your story, your Bob story and give it a title. And then when you're tempted not to say the thing, you'll remember the story and you'll say the thing. So here's what happened to me. I had hired this guy. I really liked him a lot.

And if you think about your Bob story, that is what will help you move from ruinous empathy to radical candor more than anything else you could do is just think of your story, your Bob story and give it a title. And then when you're tempted not to say the thing, you'll remember the story and you'll say the thing. So here's what happened to me. I had hired this guy. I really liked him a lot.

He was smart. He was charming. He was funny. His name was not really Bob, by the way, but, and he would do things like we were at a manager offsite and we were playing one of those endless get to know you games. And everybody was getting more and more stressed out. It was a software startup. There was what to be stressed out about.

He was smart. He was charming. He was funny. His name was not really Bob, by the way, but, and he would do things like we were at a manager offsite and we were playing one of those endless get to know you games. And everybody was getting more and more stressed out. It was a software startup. There was what to be stressed out about.

He was smart. He was charming. He was funny. His name was not really Bob, by the way, but, and he would do things like we were at a manager offsite and we were playing one of those endless get to know you games. And everybody was getting more and more stressed out. It was a software startup. There was what to be stressed out about.

And Bob was the guy who had the courage to raise his hand and to say, I can tell everyone wants to get back to work. I've got an idea. It'll be really fast.

And Bob was the guy who had the courage to raise his hand and to say, I can tell everyone wants to get back to work. I've got an idea. It'll be really fast.

And Bob was the guy who had the courage to raise his hand and to say, I can tell everyone wants to get back to work. I've got an idea. It'll be really fast.

whatever his idea was if it was fast we were down with it and then bob says let's just go around the table and confess what candy our parents used when potty training us really weird but really fast weirder yet we all remembered hershey kisses right here and then for the next 10 months every time there was a tense moment in a meeting bob would pull out just the right piece of candy for the right person at the right moment so

whatever his idea was if it was fast we were down with it and then bob says let's just go around the table and confess what candy our parents used when potty training us really weird but really fast weirder yet we all remembered hershey kisses right here and then for the next 10 months every time there was a tense moment in a meeting bob would pull out just the right piece of candy for the right person at the right moment so

whatever his idea was if it was fast we were down with it and then bob says let's just go around the table and confess what candy our parents used when potty training us really weird but really fast weirder yet we all remembered hershey kisses right here and then for the next 10 months every time there was a tense moment in a meeting bob would pull out just the right piece of candy for the right person at the right moment so

Bob brought a little bit of levity to the office. Quirky, but funny. Everybody loved working with Bob. There was one problem with Bob. He was doing terrible work. He would hand stuff in, super creative, but filled with messy mistakes, sloppy mistakes, careless mistakes. And I would say something to him along the lines of, oh, Bob, this is a great start. You're so smart. You're so awesome.

Bob brought a little bit of levity to the office. Quirky, but funny. Everybody loved working with Bob. There was one problem with Bob. He was doing terrible work. He would hand stuff in, super creative, but filled with messy mistakes, sloppy mistakes, careless mistakes. And I would say something to him along the lines of, oh, Bob, this is a great start. You're so smart. You're so awesome.

Bob brought a little bit of levity to the office. Quirky, but funny. Everybody loved working with Bob. There was one problem with Bob. He was doing terrible work. He would hand stuff in, super creative, but filled with messy mistakes, sloppy mistakes, careless mistakes. And I would say something to him along the lines of, oh, Bob, this is a great start. You're so smart. You're so awesome.

We all love working with you. Maybe you can make it just a little bit better, which of course he never did. So let's pause. Why did I say that to Bob? Part of it was truly ruinous empathy. I really did love Bob and I really did not wanna hurt his feelings. But if I'm honest with myself, there was something more insidious going on because Bob was popular and Bob was sensitive.

We all love working with you. Maybe you can make it just a little bit better, which of course he never did. So let's pause. Why did I say that to Bob? Part of it was truly ruinous empathy. I really did love Bob and I really did not wanna hurt his feelings. But if I'm honest with myself, there was something more insidious going on because Bob was popular and Bob was sensitive.

We all love working with you. Maybe you can make it just a little bit better, which of course he never did. So let's pause. Why did I say that to Bob? Part of it was truly ruinous empathy. I really did love Bob and I really did not wanna hurt his feelings. But if I'm honest with myself, there was something more insidious going on because Bob was popular and Bob was sensitive.

And there was part of me that was afraid that if I told Bob in no uncertain terms that his work wasn't nearly good enough, he would get upset. He might even start to cry. And then everyone would think I was a big, you know what? The part of me that was worried about my reputation as a leader, that was the manipulative insincerity part.