Kim Scott

And tons of people that I talked to were told that. And that makes it really hard to challenge directly. The instinct becomes to say nothing. But if you say nothing, problems get worse. Problems of behavior, problems of poor performance. And so we need to learn how to show we care and to challenge at the same time. And when we do both at the same time, that's radical candor.

And tons of people that I talked to were told that. And that makes it really hard to challenge directly. The instinct becomes to say nothing. But if you say nothing, problems get worse. Problems of behavior, problems of poor performance. And so we need to learn how to show we care and to challenge at the same time. And when we do both at the same time, that's radical candor.

And tons of people that I talked to were told that. And that makes it really hard to challenge directly. The instinct becomes to say nothing. But if you say nothing, problems get worse. Problems of behavior, problems of poor performance. And so we need to learn how to show we care and to challenge at the same time. And when we do both at the same time, that's radical candor.

but it's easy if you think about it in terms of a two by two there's three different mistakes you could make sometimes we do remember to challenge directly but we forget to show that we care personally and that is what i call obnoxious aggression and obnoxious aggression is a problem because if i act like a jerk to someone i hurt them but it's also a problem for a more subtle reason it's a problem because

but it's easy if you think about it in terms of a two by two there's three different mistakes you could make sometimes we do remember to challenge directly but we forget to show that we care personally and that is what i call obnoxious aggression and obnoxious aggression is a problem because if i act like a jerk to someone i hurt them but it's also a problem for a more subtle reason it's a problem because

but it's easy if you think about it in terms of a two by two there's three different mistakes you could make sometimes we do remember to challenge directly but we forget to show that we care personally and that is what i call obnoxious aggression and obnoxious aggression is a problem because if i act like a jerk to someone i hurt them but it's also a problem for a more subtle reason it's a problem because

If I am a big jerk to you, you're likely to go into fight or flight mode. And then you literally cannot hear what I'm saying. So I'm wasting my breath. So it's inefficient. It's mean. It's inefficient. And there's a third and more subtle problem, which is, I don't know about you, but for me, when I realize I've landed in the obnoxious aggression quadrant, when I realize I've been a jerk,

If I am a big jerk to you, you're likely to go into fight or flight mode. And then you literally cannot hear what I'm saying. So I'm wasting my breath. So it's inefficient. It's mean. It's inefficient. And there's a third and more subtle problem, which is, I don't know about you, but for me, when I realize I've landed in the obnoxious aggression quadrant, when I realize I've been a jerk,

If I am a big jerk to you, you're likely to go into fight or flight mode. And then you literally cannot hear what I'm saying. So I'm wasting my breath. So it's inefficient. It's mean. It's inefficient. And there's a third and more subtle problem, which is, I don't know about you, but for me, when I realize I've landed in the obnoxious aggression quadrant, when I realize I've been a jerk,

It's not my instinct to go the right way on care personally. Instead, it's my instinct to go the wrong way on challenge directly. And then I wind up in the worst place of all, manipulative insincerity. If obnoxious aggression is front-stabbing, manipulative insincerity is backstabbing. It's where passive aggressive behavior, political behavior

It's not my instinct to go the right way on care personally. Instead, it's my instinct to go the wrong way on challenge directly. And then I wind up in the worst place of all, manipulative insincerity. If obnoxious aggression is front-stabbing, manipulative insincerity is backstabbing. It's where passive aggressive behavior, political behavior

It's not my instinct to go the right way on care personally. Instead, it's my instinct to go the wrong way on challenge directly. And then I wind up in the worst place of all, manipulative insincerity. If obnoxious aggression is front-stabbing, manipulative insincerity is backstabbing. It's where passive aggressive behavior, political behavior

all of the things that erode trust in the workplace most quickly creep in and yet this these two mistakes although that's where the drama is so when we talk about things going wrong we tend to talk about those two mistakes but those are not the most common mistakes we make the vast majority of people make the vast majority of their mistakes when we remember to show that we care personally but we're so worried about not hurting someone's feelings

all of the things that erode trust in the workplace most quickly creep in and yet this these two mistakes although that's where the drama is so when we talk about things going wrong we tend to talk about those two mistakes but those are not the most common mistakes we make the vast majority of people make the vast majority of their mistakes when we remember to show that we care personally but we're so worried about not hurting someone's feelings

all of the things that erode trust in the workplace most quickly creep in and yet this these two mistakes although that's where the drama is so when we talk about things going wrong we tend to talk about those two mistakes but those are not the most common mistakes we make the vast majority of people make the vast majority of their mistakes when we remember to show that we care personally but we're so worried about not hurting someone's feelings

or offending them that we fail to tell them something they'd be better off knowing in the long run. And that's what I call ruinous empathy. So that's like a quick snapshot of what radical candor is and what it's not, and why it's so hard, why it's so rare, because it's not instinctive.

or offending them that we fail to tell them something they'd be better off knowing in the long run. And that's what I call ruinous empathy. So that's like a quick snapshot of what radical candor is and what it's not, and why it's so hard, why it's so rare, because it's not instinctive.

or offending them that we fail to tell them something they'd be better off knowing in the long run. And that's what I call ruinous empathy. So that's like a quick snapshot of what radical candor is and what it's not, and why it's so hard, why it's so rare, because it's not instinctive.

Yeah, absolutely. And I think as I tell you the Bob story and for all the folks out there listening, I want you to think about your Bob story because everyone, I'm going to tell a painful story about a big mistake I made, but I'm not alone. I think almost everyone has made some version of this mistake.

Yeah, absolutely. And I think as I tell you the Bob story and for all the folks out there listening, I want you to think about your Bob story because everyone, I'm going to tell a painful story about a big mistake I made, but I'm not alone. I think almost everyone has made some version of this mistake.