Khaya Dlanga
Appearances
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
So this is not just about America. I think it's about the whole world, really. The dumbing down of America is most evident in the slow decay of substantive content and in the enormously influential media. The 30 second soundbite. Thank goodness your podcast is way longer than that.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
now down to 10 seconds or less lowest common denominator programming credulous representations presentations or pseudoscience and superstitions but especially of a kind of celebration of ignorance so and he wrote this in 1995 so before we talk about the quote can I just say normally when people say there's a quote I love what they mean is like to be or not to be yeah it's normally like every dog has his day ha ha ha
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And that's terrible because I don't spend as much time reading as I used to. Oh, so it's affected you as well. Exactly. Because I don't read as much as I used to. And I don't think that like reading like Little Slippers is not, I don't, because it doesn't delve into the subject matter. And it's like, it's the same thing as watching something on TikTok where you get like, you know.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
pseudo knowledge where you kind of suddenly feel like oh I'm well informed because well I found out that for the first time that actually the planets don't revolve in one you know it's an oval but I don't know why that happens but then you know I was worried when they said TikTok was going to be banned but I was happy because I thought you would like live a new life actually this year I am don't even finish that sentence you're going to lie
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
I am trying to be actively, to try and read more than I did.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Twitter. Couldn't put your phone down. Actually, what happened as well was that I got asked to start writing columns. In newspapers? Yeah, in newspapers.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Got into this Uber, started chatting, the guy's German, this German driver, so he's speaking, he's driving us. And like, oh, so start chatting, oh, where do you work? He works for, he is like an MD or something at Merrill Lynch. Wait, wait, what? I know. Your Uber driver? Our Uber driver. Like was or was? So he was currently at the time? At the time, yes.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
So literally, that's what happened. And I was like, oh, because I have to have an opinion about something this week. Yeah. You know, and then I was like, I just didn't have the time. You know, maybe YouTube wasn't paying you at the time. Oh, no, they weren't, actually. Oh, yeah, there was no money on YouTube. And it took a long time for them to pay anyone outside of America. Oh, yeah, that's true.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And then Africa came very... I was like, ah, okay, what's the point? I even got an email from Steve Chan, who was one of the co-founders of YouTube. Crazy. So, because there was this... Because YouTube used to do this thing where if... they thought a video was like incredible.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
They would put it like on the front page. Oh yeah.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
When you were on the front page of YouTube, it was like a thing. You were, you'd made it. And I was on the front page and I was like, wow, I wake up, I'm getting all the subscribe, boom, boom, boom subscribers. I was like, what's going on? What's going on? And I happened to be, and well, the first African, you know, to be featured.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And all these big YouTubers, obviously they see you, you've been featured. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They all start mailing you and they want to collaborate. And it was like this crazy freaking thing.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And then Steve Chan sent me an email saying that, you know, along the lines, it's so great to see people from other parts of the world contributing to the conversations and being creative in very different ways, you know, to Americans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we love having you here. And I've watched like a lot of your videos. And I was like, God damn.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
So I sent him an email and I was like, responded. Wow. I was like, this is the first email I ever got from a billionaire. That's all I had to say to him. And he's like, nah, he's hardly a billionaire. Cause I think. I think they just sold to Google. I'm not sure, but I think, or they were about to, but one of the two. So I, yeah, it was crazy. Then I just got an email from freaking Steve Chan.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Is it something... I don't think it was anything that I noticed until people said. So I didn't know it was a thing. For example, my brother, my late brother, he used to say, when I was younger and he used to visit me in Cape Town, I lived in Cape Town, he'd say, damn it, I hate walking with you.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Because if we're going to the mall, let's say we're going to Cavendish Square when I was in Cape Town, and he'd be like, oh, god damn it, we're going to have to... You're going to be stopped by people. You're going to start chatting to everybody there and all of that. And I didn't know this.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And do you know when I noticed that maybe I do stop and talk to a lot of people along the way was when I started hanging out a lot with who? Kolisa. Kolisa, because now for the first time, I was the one who had to wait. That's so funny. Now, I was like, oh, flip. This is what people mean when they say that I stop and talk to a lot of people.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
My grandfather, his name, guys, if you're South African, right, and you're trying to give someone a job. Yes. And just like you have to read someone's name and say, why it's only job. Yes. My grandfather would get the job. Okay. Because his name was Alfred Kaiser Boyce. Wow.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Like a massive executive position, you know. And I was like, so I was like, dude, explain what's going on here. And he says, no, you know, when I come from Germany, I decide that in order for me to improve my English, I'm going to become an Uber driver. Oh, you're lying. Yeah, I'm going to become an Uber driver. And then I'm going to, please excuse my closer German accent.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Alfred Kaiser Like the German Kaiser Yeah like the German Kaiser Alfred Kaiser Boyce Yes B-O-Y-C-E So that's Boyce Yeah Damn From my mom I know right Damn It sounds very fancy right No it really does Alfred Kaiser Boyce Alfred Kaiser Boyce Send in Alfred Kaiser Boyce Sounds like a German Uber driver in America
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
actually so damn Alfred wait wait where did he get where did he get that name so he got that name from while they gave him Alfred Kaiser because he went to school so like back in you know because in the 20s so the school they gave him the white teachers yeah yeah the same way Mandela got his name Nelson yes
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
No, I always knew him as Alfred Kaiser Boyce. He didn't have any other name. But surely he was given another name when he was born. This is a good question. I have no idea because all his sisters have, in fact, one of his sisters, her name is hilarious. Ngunofo. Ngunofo? Ngunofo.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
That's wild. Norfolk? Norfolk. Okay. But, like, for example, like, I didn't know her name until the funeral. Yeah. Because, you know, in the village, like you're saying, like, you didn't know older people's names. You just didn't know what their names were. No. All he knew was like, okay, the grandchild from there. And that's the name.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
So when the parents send to, they'd be like, they'd never say like, you call me like, say, go to Patricia's house.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
They'd say, go to Trevor's house and talk to Trevor's mom and say, this is what I want.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
How are you today? You know what I mean? So my grandfather, he was not the chief in the village, but he was... he controlled all the cattle in the village, not just the village.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
I've actually never heard one before. This is really dope.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
No nothing. And all of the mud huts. Yeah.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
So when you say village, this is the village you mean. Yeah. So... He was a custodian of all the cattle, I'd say around maybe four or five villages around us. And so if anyone, like let's say Trevor, one of your cows gives birth, You had to come and report and say that my cow, so-and-so, is giving birth. And then my grandfather registered the cow. So he was the DMV of cows. Yes.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
That's what he was. That's what he was. Yeah. Yeah. So he registered the cow.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
If a cow died, you had to come and tell him.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Yeah. Yeah. So he was this guy in the village. And so he has like this, you know...
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
authority in because he i mean cows are worth and now he's controlling the wealth of the village if you could say that that's really powerful yeah so he was very powerful and so a lot of people would come to him for you know um counsel for advice and you know all sorts of things my home was very busy so it was never quiet because of this ah okay this you see this is starting to explain a little bit now that you're saying it yeah because
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And then, I mean, because there were dogs in the house with a gate and people were scared of the dogs. So they'd call my name. Then I'd have to freaking get out of the house, go open, you know, go open the gate, fetch whoever, you know, is. Yes. So when I was walking anywhere with my grandparents, People will be talking to them.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And obviously because they want to be seen to be nice to the children too. They will speak to you as well. They will speak to me as well. And I suspect that's probably what kind of, I gained that kind of, but also a village is like everybody talks to everybody. And maybe I still have that kind of mentality. Yeah, you do. Where it's like, okay, oh, there's so-and-so. I'll say hi because I know them.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
You don't talk to them for a reason. You just talk to people for the sake of... Yeah, you just talk to them because they're there. Because they're there. And I think that's probably where I get that from. And maybe that's why in most of my books, I can't help but write about the village, which I love.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
So this guy, and that's what he does now. And in order to improve his English, And then he says, but what he also found was that he got to understand nuances about Americans. Because he was an Uber driver. Yeah, you could apply for his job. I was like, oh, wow. That was for me the most interesting. That actually makes sense. Very interesting.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Yeah. It's very different. It's almost... You know when you actually said... Yeah. I actually, I don't know if I'm thinking about this or I've seen it or I've read it somewhere, but it's almost like when it says Sunny Borna, because if I'm the one greeting you, right? Sunny Borna. It sounds like I am... Because it is me who's saying Santa Buona. So I'm saying we see you, right?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
So it almost feels like I'm saying me and my ancestors and everybody who comes with me sees you. So we're greeting you, right? So that's why I think what you just said is very profound that our greetings are plural, right? So it's everybody who comes before me also observes who you are as a human being. Whereas...
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Like in the Western culture, it's starting to creep in where, you know, people are starting not to greet and all of that. But what usually happens, so like I'm busy and I run into you and I'm asking for directions. I walk up to you. So I don't know who you are. You're a stranger. And I come to you and I say, you know, we'll be KFC. And then we're like, and then you...
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
older people love doing this to you. And they were like, and they greet you. Oh, and you're like, oh man, they are really saying that. Oh, you didn't greet me basically by saying that. They're forcing the greeting. And then now you come down and you have to greet them. How are you? I'm fine. Fine. Thank you. All right. Oh, what did you want? Oh, okay. Directions to KFC.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And then they start offering you, you know, the direction. They tell you, they don't know where it is. And I think there's something really actually very, very profound about that. I think we take it for granted because we live here and we experience it. But every single person, including white people, they always say when they go overseas and they come back to South Africa, they talk about how...
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
They're like, you know what I miss about South Africa? They said people don't greet, like they don't greet anyone else.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
It's very, it's incredible.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Except for that. Except for that. I don't know. I think I mentioned this to you a few days ago. This tweet. Right. There's someone who tweeted about the wedding intersection.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
intersection and the traffic lights weren't working. Or robots, traffic lights, they're not working. And the guy's directing traffic. And so it goes to the guy, you know, at the front of, you know, the guy in front.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And kind of ask him for money. And the guy says, sir, I don't have money. While the guy was talking, this homeless guy with his groundless fingers just put his fingers in this guy's... He put his fingers down this guy's ass. And this guy tweeted about this experience. And basically, he doesn't know what to do because this guy just freaking shoved his fingers down his ass.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Because I wasn't giving him money. I wasn't giving him money. Oh, that was like, yeah, that was, I mean, I mean, that never happens, but it happens once in a while, but it's my, it's my favorite, my favorite story. It's terrible. It's the favorite thing I've heard this year. What would you do? You know, it's one of those things where I'd...
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
I think I'd drive off, but... No, I'm saying, what would you do as it happens, though?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
That's how you think you would do.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Never. This is you behind the microphone, buddy. At that time, I think the first thing I would think about is like, let me not swallow. I need to find the closest garage I need to go to. I promise you, that's what I've been thinking about. And this sounds terrible and elitist, but I would be thinking, like, I need to go and get mouthwashed. Should I go to my doctor? I don't know.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Why would a random stranger do that, right?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Why would he do that to you?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Maybe a couple of hours. You see? You see? So it's like, yeah, we had a conversation. It's all just in the mind. There was consent, like you said. Yeah, no, it's all about consent. So now they're like, because now I'm like, what is in their finger? Like, what's there?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Well, I think it's because I was such a loner, you know, as a child. It still doesn't explain, Kaya.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
No, and that's true. So you were like rolling with sheep and cows.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Then I had to go to the township, you know? So... Like, at 13. So, I'm living with my mother. And then my mom kind of starts saying, important things are really happening in this country. Like, Mandela and all. And so, she starts... She literally forces me to start reading the newspaper. In fact, in my school, like... I was the only black kid in my class, for example.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
So I've always wanted to be- My Uber driver was free, but he wasn't taking me on. That's who I wanted to be.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And then in the school of about 800 or 900 kids, there must have been five, six black kids, you know, in the school. Did you know all of them? The black kids? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, at school, yes.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Yeah. Were they male, female? They were, I think they were black. Both. Yeah, just definitely both genders. Did you date, did anyone try and set you up with them? No, we were too young. So nobody kind of tried to do anything at the time. So we, yeah. And then the school library, because I was always in the library, and before the library opened, I would go and read the newspaper.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
The daily dispatch. And I just go and read and read and read until seven o'clock and the school started at 7.30. And then I'd read the newspaper until 7.30. But Kaya, sorry to cut you off there.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Yes, because I'd learned to speak English two years before. But you were reading everything in English. Yes, I was reading everything in English. This is really insane to me. I was reading this. And then in high school, they had like Time Magazine and Newsweek. And then I'd read... So, okay, so you go to a new school.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
You're in an English school. They've got Time Magazine. They've got Time Magazine. They've got Newsweek. No Garfield. I used to read Garfield. Oh, you did? Because they had Garfield in the newspaper.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
i like that you were like a this guy was a full-time adult part-time kid essentially and that's what i did and then um and then they'd have the you know news week and then politics i was like who's this bill clinton guy okay oh interesting and then i'd read about him and hillary clinton and george bush and and all of those guys i'm like oh ross perot And I'm like, wow, this is fascinating.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And so then that gets me like a lot, very interested in American history. And then I think what also got me into it was because the O.J. Simpson trial happened. And then I was fascinated. I could not wait for Newsweek or Time magazine every week. And I'd be there reading about the trial because they detailed information about this trial. You are 13 years old while this is happening. Yeah.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And so I'm reading this case, and I'll never forget, like, I got the highest mark for an oral in the history of the school thanks to this, for me reading, just randomly reading. And I'll tell you how this happened. So I had the O.J. Simpson trial was going to happen, and then he was acquitted.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And our teacher gives the entire class an assignment, and she says, okay, class, this is your subject, a controversial subject. Whatever you choose... Everybody does things. Abortion, it is. You know, all of those things, right? And then I go and I speak on, like, the following day, I'm the first one to speak, you know, in front of the class.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And I start off and I say, and I start off by reciting what the jury said, you know, at the beginning. It's like, we, the jury, find the defendant, Orenthal James Simpson, not guilty of the above entitled action, penal code, whatever, of the murder of Nicole Brown Simpson, a human being, right?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And then I say, it's very fascinating to me that white Americans, I say this specifically, and now remember my entire class is white, except for two other black kids in the class. And I say, it's fascinating to me that white people believe in... conveniently believe that you are innocent until proven guilty, right? But they're so angry that OJ Simpson has been found not guilty of this.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
But at the same time, why is it so important for him to be guilty? If they believe... That you're innocent until proven guilty. And I must have spoken for a minute and a half, making that statement, when my classmates started interjecting, asking me questions, just like, no, but Kyle, you can't say that. He used to hit her. And cops would come, as I guess I understand. That's true.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
What he was doing was terrible. No one should be hitting anybody. It's... evil but it doesn't mean that he did kill her right so according to the evidence that was presented and what the jury said they said he is not guilty so and the teacher also asking me questions The period ended. I didn't finish my oral. So then I thought, oh my goodness, I'm going to get zero.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Do you like driving? I love driving. One of my favorite things to do is to drive. It's quite far. So I really do enjoy driving from Joburg to the Eastern Cape. By myself.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Because then the next period comes, I mean, like the next day, someone else and someone else. And I said, miss, I didn't finish my oral. So no, it's fine. And then I got like 100%. And she said, because... Your subject was so controversial. That everyone got involved. That everyone got involved. It never happened to anybody else.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And it was because I had so much specific detailed information that I could give everybody answers because I was reading this about this trial every week. Okay, but now do you think OJ did it or do you still think he was innocent? I don't know. I really don't know if he did it. Yeah, but what do you think? What do I think?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
No, but I... I struggle to think that he was, he did it. Okay. So you, like now. Based on the trial I was following at the time. I struggle. I'm assuming you've watched O.J. Made in America. Yeah, Made in America. Now, when I watch that, and I'm like, hmm. But I don't know what the perspective was, right? Because someone is saying something from a different lens.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
So they have a perspective when they're making that. But when I think about 13-year-old me, I was like, I don't think he did it. But after watching that documentary, I was like... I think he did it. After watching that documentary. Okay, so... That's how I got to American politics.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
A puzzle that I've been playing with in my head. Oh, sorry, quickly. Sorry. Don't forget your puzzle. But also another thing, how I learned, this is crazy, how I learned which city is in each state in America was by watching, at the time, it was WWF Wrestling. Because they would say, from Austin, Texas, Stone Michaels. And then his song would go, from Detroit, Michigan, Big Daddy Cool Diesel.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And I was like, oh. And I literally learned, oh, okay. But I didn't know what was a state. I tried to figure out what is the thing they mentioned first and the thing they mentioned second. And then I figured out, oh, it's a state and it's a city.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Yeah. In fact, the first accident I had was a taxi driver hit me. Okay. And the second one was also another taxi driver in Cape Town.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
I almost think that I don't know. But I feel like there are going to be two Trumps, right? The Trump of the first term and the Trump of the second presidency. Damn, I'm loving this. You made me feel like Terminator 1 and 2.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
So he's the first one. He's like, he didn't think I was going to win. I don't think he wanted to win, you know, for the first time. But then now he's in this thing. Now he's the president. Okay, great. He's unprepared. So... But now he understands the levers of power. He just gets it. I remember reading something about what makes great politicians. Great politicians are great at stagecraft.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Oh, yeah. Okay, I don't count that.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
So for them, they understand the theater. They're actors, basically. That's what it was. I remember reading somewhere where someone was describing Mandela as a great actor. And
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
and they use that example when he walks out of the the treason trial and when he's found guilty and he makes that speech and where he says um if what um what's that speech remind me somebody my diva speech very famous at the end yeah we all know it in the room come on guys we all know it you you're the guy who's going to remind us um well he basically is basically saying that well
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
If you find me guilty, da-da-da-da-da.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
It is an ideal for which I am prepared. It's an ideal I want to live for, but if I'm prepared to die, if needs be, something along those lines. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway. We'll play it. We should just play it. Yeah.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And then when he walks out of the, he's, you know, it's the last day of the trial, he's wearing his Hossa traditional warrior outfit because he knows that he's going to come across as defiant. Every single picture in the world will have him as this guy. So it's this kind of juxtaposition between like this oppressed hero who's fighting against his people dressed like this.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And, and like just throughout his life. And I think that Donald Trump is a natural actor. He's phenomenal. I can't think of a single American politician in the history of the United States that's better at stagecraft than Trump.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
For better or worse.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
hear it or process it i think it's because it's so honest and transparent that they can't believe it's real i don't know what it is because it's so because no one does it you're not supposed to do that yeah i guess and then he does it and then it's like okay um and and he likes to be liked he loves to be like i think this is number one drug and i think this is why there's um
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
I suppose a lot of these tech CEOs have figured out about him. It's like, just like him. And then everything is fine.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Yeah, they go like, I don't care. Not that they don't care about it. They don't make you like him.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Like impossible, Kyle. I mean, there are many countries that didn't think dictatorships were going to happen. I mean, I think, you know, speaking about Trump.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Yes. They were voted in and they just kept power. Putin was voted in. Yeah. I mean, Mugabe was voted in. You think of anybody, they were voted in. What's fascinating to me about him is that I think maybe I'm wrong about that he likes to be liked. Yes, he likes to be liked. But he likes to be liked by people he disagrees with but respects. Yes. And crave the adoration.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
But I think that for him, it's that. And I think that's why he, like, these tech guys, he respects them because, well, they're rich, they're, you know, they're running big companies.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Mm-hmm. Trump, yeah. I think he's that guy.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
That is funny. There's a verse in the Bible. Yeah. Parable, Jesus. So Jesus talks about a son. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Okay, just checking. Just checking. So Jesus talks about, I forget the exact parable, but what he says in this parable is a father asks a son to do something, right?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And then the son's like, no, I'm not going to do it. It's rude to his father. Yeah. Ask another son. And the son says, yes, I'll do it. This polite son doesn't do the thing. The son who was not polite said he's not going to do the thing. That's the thing that the father asked him to.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Right. So it feels like, and then it seems like then Jesus kind of praises the son who said, I wouldn't do it, but he did it, but does, does the thing. So, Again, it feels like that parable. Oh, so then Jesus disagrees with you, just so you know.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Yes. So, well, as you know, I lost my mother last year. So, which was like I was saying now, it's in two days time, it's going to be exactly a year. since how old was your mom when she passed she was uh she just turned 70 so she's just yeah I mean it's not young but that's young like I especially considering how she was you know she was super active and you know um
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
So then I'll never, I mean, I remember driving, you know, to the funeral with my sisters. So they're in the car at the back and I'm driving and I'm leading the funeral procession to the church. And I said to them, guys, you know that thing, I don't know how to call it, but the thing that you get here, that lump in your throat where you feel like, ah, I'm just...
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
what Kholisa always forgets to mention is the fact that he braked suddenly because he was there was someone in the passenger seat was directing him and she forgot to tell him no turn here so he braked like oh so he slammed the brakes he slammed the brakes but also like okay the car had dystronic what what oh your car yeah oh so you trusted the car to do the thing okay and it always did but the problem can I tell the problem one is that three days before it had said dystronic
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And I'm trying to not cry as I'm talking to my sister. And I says, guys, I'm not going to talk. I'm not going to speak at the funeral. I know I'm supposed to, but I'm not going to do it. I can feel I won't be able to do it. Once I'm in front of the church, it's going to be impossible. And they're like, no, you can't do that. You know, she would have wanted you to. And I was like, guys.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Because you and your mom were close. Yeah. And then I'm like, I can't, I can't, you know. So then we get to the church. And they like to plonk you right in front of the freaking coffin. So now it's like, oh my God, this thing is right here now. It's more real. And that feeling was even more profound. It's like, there is no way. I know I won't be able to speak.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
But then there's women that my mom went to church with. They're out there. They celebrate through singing. They're just singing. And they keep coming. They keep looking at me. There's this old woman. She's 93 or 94. Old and tiny. I know not many people are smaller than me. But she was like really. And she keeps going like this. And she's singing.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
they're so joyous and then i got up and i joined them and i started singing and every single time and i felt this i almost i think i almost felt her presence my mother's presence and i felt like god's presence and i was like wow at that moment i was feeling so broken and weak and unable i was like wow, I know I can speak now. I know I can speak.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And I got up and what, in fact, I didn't even make the speech that I'd prepared in my mind. I literally got up and sang. And which I would never do in public. And I urge anybody not to try to hear me singing in public. And I started singing. What did you sing? I sang, there's a song by, a very traditional Xhosa song that was made famous by also a Xhosa singer.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And he's, which is like, this is my mother who has raised me. And then there's this big photo and I was holding this photo of her and singing this song. And then I just started speaking quite joyously about her. Very brief, very short. And then I was like, next week when I go back to Joburg, I'm going to church. And that was it. And that's when I started, that's why I started going to church.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
So when had you stopped going to church? I stopped probably going to church maybe 2006. This is when you got a million subscribers on YouTube.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
In fact, that's how I first got into charge of Caesar, actually. YouTube. Wow. Yeah. I think we mailed each other. Wow, you slid into his DMs.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
It's a wild thing. She did mail me. But I mean, she was like 13.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
um she sent me an email because obviously because she was watching my videos on youtube as a 13 year old and she knew us from south africa so she sent me an email she said hi my name is amala zandi lejamini and my father is dumisani he's this famous actor in south africa he was in sarafina i'm trying to get hold i've never met him wow when i get hold of him
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
and would you find a way to get me in touch with him? And I felt so blessed My heart, like, I was like, she's 13. She's like a child.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
She's gone to this extent. And I was like, I'm sure I can find him easily. Right. Because my cousin is an actor. He probably knows him.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
So I sent, I contacted, do you know this guy? Yes. Where is he? How can I get in touch with him? And he was like, he was in Namibia doing whatever. He says, this is where he is. tried to get in touch with him, gave him the information about his daughter, and he just never responded. And then I sent an email back and I told him, like, I'll do what I can, but I don't know what to do.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Malfunctioning. Take it. I should go take it. And I was like, I'll take it. I'll take it tomorrow. I can save tomorrow. And then I had the accident.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And then one of his daughters, who lives in Soweto but different mother, also sent me – an email having seen the fact that like because i wrote a post i think i wrote a post yeah yeah you had put a yeah posted a blog about this yes and then i posted a blog and where i asked about and i was like well if anybody knows where he is and then one of his one of his daughters also sent me like a
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
an email and said okay this is my email address please send my email address to to amala and then they would get in touch and there was a last there was the last thing i i did that was my last interaction with them and i felt very sad because they never got in touch um obviously up to you know to this day as far as i know so and there was long before so doja cat she was just like a 13 year old girl watching youtube videos
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
That's what I would have done. Yeah. So those are my accidents.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And you were just like, all right, we can be friends. And it's so funny. And I was with American models. I don't know because I never got to meet them. All I got was our friendship, by the way.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
It's just funny to me that that's how I met you. That was funny. Because actually what happened there was... Because I remember this friend of mine was like, yo... He lived in New York, but was in Joburg.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And he said, I have these friends of mine who are in Cape Town. They're models. They don't know where to go. And they see you're in Cape Town. Can you show them? I was like, shut up. That's how I ended up with those models.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
The insurance paid out.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Well, crazy thing about my dad is when we were celebrating my sixth birthday in the village, the news came that he died. Literally we're having a party. Great party. Like six birthdays were like a big thing, you know, and guava juice, you know, all over the guava juice. You knew you were made with a guava juice. So they were the guava juice. And then because the village, there were no telephones.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
This is the 80s. Got a phone call. They sent a telegram. And from the shop, someone walked from the shop to my grandparents' house to deliver the telegram to say that, well, they just received the news that my father had passed away. And I think it passed away for a few days because no one, for some reason, they couldn't identify him.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
But the one story, I mean, there are two stories that I remember that have been told about my father. But my favorite story about my father was how petty he was. He was, it was like, but, but petty, I think for a reason. So his father, my grandfather, not, not Alfred Kaiser boys.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Yeah, and it's an accident. That's what you get insured for. Yes. An accident, you know.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Paulus. Paulus Lange.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Paulus Lange. So he had, he had a post, I don't know how this happened. So it's a story I've never, I'd never met him. So he had a post at this way. He was somehow in the, in the chemistry department and he was a lecturer or something. I don't know how lecturer. And then the professor he was working with, uh, The white guy basically said, yo, I just found out that you're about to be arrested.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
You'd better leave. Go to Lesotho. So he runs off to Lesotho.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Yes. He was suspected because he taught chemistry. They said that he was teaching freedom fighters how to make bombs. And that's what they were saying.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Maybe, I don't know. Okay.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
I have no idea. So that's what they accused him of because teaching chemistry.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Okay. Yeah. And so now he flees the country. So he flees the country, goes to Lesotho. Okay. Got it. And he ends up in Lesotho. And he gets a teaching post. He's teaching at the university. They're called University of Roma. So he's there like- So he's in exile now. Yeah, he's in exile. So he's there for a few years.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And I mean, my grandmother used to tell stories about the people used to go to their house, like Mandela, Sobuko, and all of those people that, you know, they'd be there with him. And, but one day-
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
They received a letter, actually a copy of the letter, from the Minister of Home Affairs of Lesotho, basically saying that they have received word that his continued presence in Lesotho presents an imminent danger to the safety and security of Lesotho, and therefore they're giving him 24 hours to leave the country.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
From the Home Affairs. of Lesotho. But they were pressurized by the South African government. Wow.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Yeah. Things will happen. And so he left before like the deadline and obviously back roots so that... So he flees Lesotho as well. He flees Lesotho. Leaving my father and, you know, his kids there. And he leaves...
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
back roots but then somehow the cops find him he's in South Africa now yeah they find him arrest him torture him so he's tortured and to such an extent that he becomes well doesn't get almost half paralyzed yeah yeah okay and they're like well they can't take him to court because there's nothing he can do now they've tortured him so much
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And eventually, you know, about a year or two later, he dies. And so my father, this is what I'm saying, this is my favorite story about my father. So my father then becomes a traffic cop, like in the 80s. becomes a cop, a traffic cop, and he gets called to the head offices of Mdata. You know, it's Transkeina, another fake country. This is the region where he lives.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
So now he is someone that he has no idea has been called there. He goes to the top bosses and they ask him, like, they say, they bring a file. They're like, they open the file. They say, explain yourself. Why is it that every single traffic fine is to a white person. You don't fine any black people. All these fines are just white people. And he says, well, most people who drive cars are white.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
So you're saying that black people don't commit traffic offenses? And he would fine them for the tiniest infringement. And basically, he was given a warning that if he continues to be fined, then he quits. So it was his own little rebellion, I think, against the, I think his protest against what happened to his father. Kudos to him. I like that. That's literally the only story that I know of him.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Damn, I like that. Because I was too young to know anything about him.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Sure. That's such a, wow. I've never thought about that. It's such a difficult question to answer. Um, You know, I think this is going to sound maybe a little crazy, but I remember the year I lost my brother, we were in LA with your mother in December. You and I?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
So that was COVID? Yeah, that was COVID. And I remember just having these conversations with her mother. Like her faith and her resilience. I mean, there's this profound... I think belief that she has. No, my mom is unwavering. It's crazy. And I think we connected in such a nice way, actually, with our mother in that very short space of time. And she'd go out and pray and all of that.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And I think part of what helped me, like maybe that moment and her faith, also just brought me back. There are certain things that I remember.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
when reading when i read the bible yeah which was because the bible like makes like certain assurances which are things bad things are going to happen yeah so therefore they're guaranteed to happen and they will happen and so and one of them is like um it's like like when you walk through the rivers you will not be swept away when you walk through the fire you will not be burnt so the bad things will happen
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
as they should. And I think we're not put on this earth for, you know, for pleasantness. And I think that in most people, like, I mean, I, it's, I mean, I always judge myself and always feel like, um, I have little contribution when I think about the gifts that, That I have, I think as a person. I've always found that crazy about you.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
I know you have, that's true. And you always remind me, which is crazy. And you always say that I am more than what I think I am. Always. Which is, and I suppose I need to get to that place and you always say that I just need to get to that place so I just take it and just take that. And maybe I'm not at that place yet and it's going to come. Right. And
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
But, and I think for me, it's those guarantees that I know, okay, when you do this, you will be okay. It will happen. And so I try to arm myself with the knowledge that tough things are going to happen. Okay. And therefore, if they happen, I should be prepared. But I mean, the one thing that I've, I was never prepared for my brother.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
That hit me harder than anything else, than anything could possibly imagine. Why was that? Because it's just like a thing that would never happen. I just did not think that someone close to me would take their own life. He lived with me. Damn. So my brother lives with me. What did I miss? How could I not see this? I claim to love this person. Was I so self-absorbed?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
So these questions I was asking about myself. And I mean, he was going through an addiction, a gambling addiction. I didn't even see it. And he lived with me and I didn't know, which is what eventually led to him taking his life. And so I...
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
I mean, I took some active decisions once I found out that he was gambling and he'd got himself into like a hole that he really couldn't get himself out of and got him to therapy. And I mean, he worked with me. I defy him. I forced him to call my mother. I tried to kick him out of my place as a threat.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
I mean, can you imagine, you have to sit across the road and tell him, listen, I'm firing you. And then I have to follow him and say, listen, I love you. I'm not being mean, malicious, but this is for you to get better. That in four months, you're going to come back, you know? Yeah. You're going to come back and work just to get better. I gave him the phone.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
I said, I'm not going to call my mother and tell her that I've had to fire you. Yeah, you take the phone and you call Andy Teller. And he had to call. So there were like a series of decisions that I made. And what was very crazy, I think, for a very long time after that, after he took his life and the decisions that I'd made, what's that question? Did I push him too hard, too quickly?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Yeah, I can only imagine. And I became very doubtful of almost any decision I was making. So it was very hard for me to make decisions for a very long time. Because I felt that the decisions that I may have made may have led my brother to make the decision. Even though I know that... Like logically.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Yeah, so the emotional question was just like, but what if, you know, I drove him too hard and so I blame myself, you know, for all of that. Even though I know that I shouldn't and there's no blame.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
So... Um, you know, I struggled and obviously having these conversations with your mother and then like the faith aspect of it for me was very important. And, and then, uh, I mean, like one of my favorite scriptures is Job in the Bible, where Job, in the beginning, he loses everything.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And then at the end of it, after he's lost everything, the thing that Job says is like, naked I came, naked I shall depart. May the name of the Lord be praised. And I was like, hmm, okay. That means we need to find joy in whatever way we can. And A lot of the time during the losses is trying to find that. It's interesting because I don't think that maybe I've found joy myself.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
I feel like people, like friends, have made sure that I am okay in order for me to have a springboard. Do you know what I mean? No, I hear exactly what you're saying. To find myself. Because when I think of all my friends, you, Sizwe, Golisa, Anele, like a whole bunch of people were just so there in ways that I just couldn't imagine. And I had...
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And also, isn't it like it's a bet, right? Because the whole thing, I remember, I don't know if I saw this already somewhere, where someone said the purpose of insurance, the company says, right? Yes. I bet you... your house won't catch fire. And you say, I bet you my house will, right? And so what you do is that like, now you keep, you're paying, right?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And I think that's not really, it's friends, honestly, sincerely. And I don't know if it's a me, I don't think it's a me thing. I definitely think that it's the people who probably see the value in me as a person. And because I see that value, I see that there is something more to life, I guess.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
I mean, I don't have an answer to, you know, it's a very difficult question because I've never thought about it. No, I understand. I've literally never thought about it. And I mean, you know, when I think, because also at the same time, you know, he lives with me, it's my brother. And then I feel, I think the worst guilt I also felt was like, oh my God, is my mother going to blame me?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
You know what I'm saying? And what did she say? Oh, Jesus. She said to me, because she was with me through every step of the way, everything I had to do. She said, you know, like, she said, you did more than you should have.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
and which is essentially what my brother actually said in his own suicide note that he left which was um you know um you you you did more than a brother should have done and that's what my mother said to me um but i that didn't i suppose doesn't make you feel good you know either but but you don't feel Yeah. And she was like, you did more than you should have.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And also like at the funeral, she spoke, well, she didn't speak. Someone read the note that she wrote, which was the most gracious thing I've ever read in my entire life. Which she said, I mean, at the end of it, it was so nonjudgmental. She said, you were tired of,
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
of the things of this world and rest my son you know and um yeah which was i was like i mean at the end of it um i was like wow what a a thing to say but i'll never forget the evening of the funeral and Everybody's gone, just myself, my mother and my two sisters. It's just us, you know, we're watching TV that we're not really watching. We're just sitting there quietly because everyone is gone.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And she said, well, she said, which means I am going to die next year. And I got so angry. And I was like, don't say that. What are you saying? You have other children, you know. And I said this. And she was saying it to herself, you know. She was saying it to herself. And not even saying it to us. And then she said, because her mother died. Her mother lost her son, you know.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Because as long as you don't catch any fire, your bet, you're like, I told you, I told you. That's actually crazy. It's a bet. It's not. And all of a sudden now, my house catches fire. The bet has come right. Yeah, the bet has come right.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And she said, my mother lost her son. uh in 1987 in 87 in 88 she passed away so i'm that's what's gonna happen to her and so and what i would do after that i just give it i just caught because i was in case i was covid so i'd call it like all the time just to make sure that like you know she's not you know she's not
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
She's not leaving. And I think I was calling her for my own selfishness, actually. Just to make sure she knows that I'm okay, that she's okay, and all of that. And then we're fine. And I was like, oh, she's getting better. And then she just got sick, you know. And I think, I mean, it took like three years for her to get really sick and cancer. She was very healthy.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
She literally just got almost sick overnight. And this cancer, which I think she was, she hid, you know, from us because she really did want to die. And I think it was heartbreak that really just, it was definite, it was not the cancer. It was like, cause I almost feel like in many ways she called it upon herself. And, and I think she knew she had the cancer. She just didn't tell anybody.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
because my mother is a very proud woman you know like a lot of you know closer women very proud strong woman she's like I'm not gonna and so yeah it was it's very difficult it's it's I don't know. I don't have the answers. I just don't have the answers. But that was a very hard thing to hear her say when she said, I'm going to die next year. And then there's nothing you can do about it, you know?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
So, yeah. But honestly, I think for me, I promise you, if I didn't have the friendships that I have, I don't know what the faith and the friendships that I have. I don't know where I would be. I genuinely don't know. Because they don't, friendships don't give you a chance to wallow. I think in, yes, feel the things you need to feel. Yeah.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
um don't dwell in it you know like i have this quote that i that i wrote myself to quote myself and and what i always say and i think i said it because oh it's a beautiful thing to say oh it sounds so nice which was um even in my darkest hour i glow in the dark and it's a thing that I was like, oh, it's a very beautiful thing to say.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And I wrote this thing years ago, long before I experienced the kind of pain that I would feel. And I think that the glowing in the dark is caused by people around you who love you. So, yeah.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Yeah. So I thought that was such a great concept describing what insurance is. I feel like all, it is a great concept.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
It's so funny. I, I, it's so funny, I've asked myself this question. I was like, well, what if a betting company came to me and said, hey, influence this? I was like, well, I know I wouldn't do it, right?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
But at the same, it's so funny, there's another friend of mine, he called me up the one time and he was like, well, this betting company has called him and they want him to influence something and he's like, he's not going to do it. And I was like,
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
I think you should if, you know, I don't think that you should not do it because, you know, but then again, it's because maybe he'd met my brother and all of that. So it felt like too close to home. And it's such a, I mean, for example, like, And this is what I think about. So now, because people die in car accidents. And I'm not trivializing the thing.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
I'm not trivializing it. People die in car accidents. And then there's a car company that's like, okay, great. Or some people take their lives in cars.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
So does that mean that one should not then advertise something?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Yeah, your responsibility.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And, you know, like the, I mean, like, like, like most, you know, company brands and companies and companies. Like alcohol, for example. Yeah. About 20% of the customers are responsible for 80% of the consumption. You know, apparently this is true for everything. Yeah, everything. Yeah. So I learned this for ice cream.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And the third book was... What was my third? Oh, these things really do happen to me.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
It was a lot of... It was like these Uber driver stories, but like way more crazy ones. Yeah. And then it's the answers for me, which was very different.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
So this one I actually wrote during COVID. I live with my brother and he's not there anymore. I can't bump into him. I could walk around naked. So now he had, so I just started asking people questions online. One of the, I mean, when I think of one of the questions was, what have you never said to your parents that you wish you had said to your parents?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Exactly. No, but I mean... You know, I remember the first time. I don't know if anyone here remembers the first time they used an Uber app. Yeah. The first time? I remember the very first time. They were going to be launching Uber in South Africa and they invited me to the launch, which was nice. Okay, great. And then... Because they knew you weren't a driver.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And the things that people said were so heavy that, And then eventually people say to me, can you please put the answers like in a book?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And I put those answers. That's why it's very different. I always, is it a book? I don't know.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
But I'm with you. And then now this one, which is the one that I'm working on now, which is done actually. It's gone to the printers, I think on the 27th.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Yeah, so it's like, the pictures are, life is like that sometimes. And again, I talk about the village and then towards the end, obviously, I talk about, you know, my brother, the journey that he had to go through with him and losing my mother as well. So, and it's like this journey of life, you know, and I always say that
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
When I look at my books, I think I kind of try to just post-rationalize them in the sense that I say it's almost looking at not recording history, but how we live life while history is happening. So...
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
If, for example, if I talk about, so in the village, I were to take the bus, wake up at four, you know, at four with my gran, who then take us to the school and take a bus and if the river was too high, then we have to wait until, you know, all of those kinds of things. That is a consequence of apartheid, for example. So this is how we lived during apartheid.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And then, so what happens when Nelson Mandela comes out of prison? Oh, they open schools to black kids too. Then I go to a school with white people and people in the township see me wearing a school uniform. This little primary 12 year old, you know, wearing these clothes that they only see white kids wearing to school. And then they will stop you on the street and be like, can you speak English?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
They're like, yes. Like, really? And they're like, yeah. And then they say, okay, speak English then.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And that's what I'm saying the books are. They're saying, There literally was... I mean, like one example like I have is like, I'll never forget. I'd broken my arm and go to the hospital. And the doctors are just white. I don't know why. They were all white. And the doctor would have a nurse who translate for them. So now I've broken my arm. So the nurse is translating for the doctor.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And so my car then happened like that week or two, you know, happened to go to a service or two to a service. And then I was like, ah, let me try this Uber thing. So I opened... And I was like, oh my goodness. It showed me the guy's face, the registration, the car, how far he is. This was revolutionary to me. I was like, this is incredible. And anyway, he arrived, he gets out of the car.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And the doctor is like, okay. But then I respond in English. I could see the nurse. What the heck? This child didn't just... respond back in English, you know? So the doctor says something, she translates and they respond in English. So she goes like this woman is so the nurse.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
which means oh my god this child speaks english this child speaks english and she calls like the nurses in the ward and they all come they surround me while the doctor is kind of working on me so the doctor is like entertained you know for all these nurses and they were like so shocked to see a child speaking english that's amazing
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
So again, honestly, it's like, what I'm saying is that history is happening. Mandela's out of prison. This is what's happening. This is how we're living, you know? So anyway, I don't know why I said that, but I think that's maybe what I do with my books.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
There's only Uber Blacks at the time. They used to open the door. And they used to open the door for you.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
You know, there's a thing that you talked about, the stories, that in the foreword of my book or the author's note, there is one subject that kind of prickles me somewhat. Is that in South Africa, the book buying public is white, mostly white.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And then they close the door for you. And I was like, this is incredible. I was so impressed by them. And to such an extent that I don't know if you know my friend Unzinga.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Majority white. But they don't buy books by black writers. Oh, shit.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
So they... Now, it's almost like then... How do we get to know each other if we don't read stories about each other? Damn, that's interesting. So you're giving your book away to white people? No, they have to buy it because they have more money. In fact, double the price for them. Oh, there comes his father.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
i see you are your father's son so if i say for me if there's one thing that i wish like especially for south africans is that because black people buy books buy books by every author yeah yeah so i almost feel that that is one thing that kind of really needs to start happening i think in this country if we really want to get to know each other We need to know each other's stories.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Exactly like you said, the Palestinians. Yeah. So, yeah.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
I know. Thank you very much. Thank you so much. Beautiful.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Beautiful. Thank you.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
So she sees me being dropped off at Capello. Yeah, yeah. I'm being dropped off. Uber driver comes out, opens the door. So when she sees me, she says, Kaya, and she genuinely thought this. Genuinely. She said, Kaya, are you a spy? And I'm like, so I was jokingly, I said, yeah, I'm a spy. And she believed this for the longest time. No way.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Uber was so prestigious, so pristine that they've taken away all the nice things, but the price remains.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
You know, it's interesting because businesses always have this... grand philosophy about why it exists. There's no profits when you're looking at their vision statement as a company.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
But the ultimate reason they exist is to make a profit. Not really to provide the best service that they claim they want to provide.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
I mean, it's pretty sad because... You know, there's actually, there's a flip. May I just switch off my phone?
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
You're addicted to your phone. There is a great quote.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
Okay, I found it. What's the quote? The quote is by Carl Sagan. Let me just go quickly. Carl Sagan. Let me find. So I don't know if Carl Sagan was just like a physicist.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
And he says, I have a foreboding of an America in my children's or grandchildren's time when the United States is a service and information economy, when nearly all manufacturing industries have slipped away to other industries, when all some technological powers are in the hands of very few. and no one representing the public interest can even grasp the issues.
What Now? with Trevor Noah
Meet Khaya Dlanga – One of My Favorite People [VIDEO]
When the people have lost the ability to set their own agendas or unknowledgeably question those in authority, when clutching our crystals and nervously consulting our horoscopes, our critical faculties in decline, unable to distinguish between what feels good and what's true, We slide almost without noticing back into superstitious darkness. The dumbing down of America.