Kerry Washington
👤 PersonPodcast Appearances
It was not sketchy, although we did sketches.
We were, oh my God, that's where we're starting.
I'm such a mega fan of this show, so I'm really excited and a little nervous.
Well, every episode, but that's why we love you.
I, when I was a high schooler, when I was a teenager, I worked for the Adolescent Health Center in New York City at Mount Sinai Hospital.
And it was like the beginning of the AIDS epidemic, like late 80s, early 90s.
And we used to, we wrote these sketches, these skits about safer sex issues and losing your virginity and drug abuse and LGBTQ rights.
What was like, how do you ask your boyfriend to put a condom on?
Or how do you put a condom on?
Or how do you make that conversation sexy?
Because all the research was like, people have the information, but the behavior change is not there.
So we used to write these shows where we would.
Well, we used to teach kids how to put condoms on by using bananas.
But it was really more like, I mean, there was the first sketch I was allowed to do was actually a scene about whether or not I was 13 when I started doing the show.
So the only the only sketch they would let me do in the beginning was should I lose my virginity or not?
And it was a whole sketch about like my really cute boyfriend who's kind of pressuring me and I don't know if I should or shouldn't.
And then the cool part, and this was actually incredible acting training, was that we would, the problems of the show were unresolved and we would stay in character after the show and the audience would like solve our problems.
We would ask the audience for advice.
So they would like be in conversation.
Yeah, we stayed in character.
And doesn't that mean the show is still going?
No, like the show would end and then we do a Q&A, but our Q&A would be in character.
And sometimes I would be playing like more than one character.
So I'd have like a baseball hat for the girl who wasn't sure she should lose her virginity.
And then like a red scarf for the girl who was like...
needed to tell her brother to stop selling drugs.
So we had all these different, like, you know, conflict issues.
And I got to develop character backstory and learn to be spontaneous.
And I found my yes and while doing sex education.
Didn't you say this was like... Yeah, we performed at like schools and community centers.
And my mom had read that there were auditions for this.
I had done children's theater with that company, Ta-Da, that was mentioned, which is a company in Midtown.
And this was like for teenagers.
And my mom had seen an ad about it.
So she was like, educational theater is a great thing.
And then I came home with all these pamphlets about like gonorrhea.
And she was like, what is this?
We're going to fix the world's problems one banana at a time.
Well, I was shocked that you asked me to be your guest because I was like, there's no way we're not telling this story.
Of me being punked by Sean Hayes.
Nicest email I've ever gotten in my life.
You know the emails, you know the notes you get from a fan where you're like, I should maybe call security because this person really loves me.
It was that, but it was like from another famous person.
And it was like somebody that I respect and admire.
So I was like, oh my God, I was so moved.
Now, I'm at home, cut to, I'm at home eagerly awaiting the call from Sean because this is my number one fan.
And now I think I'm going to get a healing because somebody who loves me is going to get on the phone with me and it's going to change my life.
And even though I'm going to say no to the ask, we're going to be friends forever.
I hang up the phone and I turn to my husband and I'm like, I'm being fucking punked because Sean Hayes sent me the nicest email I've ever gotten in my life.
I just got off the phone with him and he was such a jerk to me.
And he's acting like I made up the email.
I was so... I was like, why would somebody do that?
Does he think I'm untalented?
I couldn't stop laughing because I was really like, I thought I was being pranked.
And I was like, oh, I'm being gaslit.
You know, you guys have all worked for me as a producer.
Live in front of a studio audience.
You know how when we did it, we had a cast dinner to kick off for our episode, which I wasn't a producer then, so I have...
But I produced in the next two.
Oh, we're talking about your sister for your sister.
We, for Norman Lear's live in front of a studio audience, which all three of you have graced us and blessed us with your performances.
I do a lot more than Justin Theroux.
I just want to put that out there.
with your thing with people not having sleeves.
Everybody wears them except him.
I, so it's actually a little more complicated than that, but that's the easy answer that I give people.
I designed an interdisciplinary major called Performance Studies.
And it was inspired by, it was based on the graduate programs at NYU and Northwestern.
So it was like the study that performance plays in different societies and cultures.
And that's what interested me.
But you have to, to design your own major, you have to write this whole thesis and defend it because they want to just make sure you're not trying to get out of taking statistics.
So I had to kind of really work with all these academic mentors and come up with this program and design a curriculum for myself and...
Yeah, I'm just, I'm super interested in how we perform like professionally, all of us, but also how we perform just in our everyday lives.
And yeah, I think I have used a lot of it.
I mean, I think, you know, what we, for me, I tend to think about characters in the kind of social science context.
Like when I'm playing a character, I like to think about
how she's become who she is and how she thinks and how she lives in the world and how society impacts who she is.
So I do feel like I use some of my, I feel like such a nerd, I've been talking too long about this.
But I use some of my social science.
Sociology is more the study of society.
Anthropology is more indigenous cultures and historical culture, so not present-day society, but more the role of kind of how societies have evolved through time.
Anthropology has a little more ritual, like study of ritual.
NYU and Northwestern were the schools that had graduate degrees in performance studies that I admired and was interested in, but I didn't actually want to go to graduate school, so I tried to just skip ahead and do it in undergrad.
I finished in a degree in performance studies.
I got to actually, like, I wrote my own situation.
Yes, especially because I went to G-dub.
Yeah, people call me K. I just thought of that.
Yeah, if you get a speech, they give you one.
You can get one of those, guys.
I'm fascinated because you seem like a completer to me.
Did you really drink a glass of milk?
Now, I heard this story on the show about your clothes being taken to across town.
I was like, that's kind of child abuse, no?
Emily's actually, she has listened to your show longer than I have.
When I was at dinner with you guys, when I was at dinner for the cast for Live in Front of a Studio audience, I actually had not listened to a single episode yet.
having listened to a few episodes.
And I was able to do so effectively.
But I knew just from hearing Emily talk about it and also hearing my husband Namdi talk about it, I had enough context clues and reference points.
to pretend that I had seen, but I hadn't.
I hadn't watched and listened.
And so then I went home and felt bad, so I started listening.
And then I was like, this is the best podcast ever.
Well, I've just admitted that I lie sometimes, but I try not to.
When somebody doesn't come back, and maybe that just means I'm an insecure person, it freaks me out.
The house manager tells you.
Because you don't want to go and not like what you see and then have to lie about it.
Oh, aren't you a person of integrity?
It depends on the show and the audience.
Like, for me, I could never in my life go to a show that has a black cast and not go backstage because they will know that I'm there.
There's an actor who I knew had come to see a play I was in called American Son.
And he did not come backstage.
And unbeknownst to him, I held it against him for like a year and a half.
I was like, I just thought, how?
Well, I then found out, because I'm friends with his wife, that she was the only one who had come and that she was running straight to the airport afterward.
And so I was like, oh, my God, I've been like.
Inside my heart, snubbing him at parties.
Yeah, he's been dead to me for a year and a half for no reason.
What I learned in that is that I have to be more generous.
And I try to be more generous in my attitude toward people, but that was a really good reminder of like, you don't know what's going on in people's lives.
Like even if somebody really snubs you to your face, you don't know if they just had a car accident.
Like it just was a reminder, like be generous.
The world does not revolve around you and your Broadway performance.
I'm not a traffic... Because I'm not a very good driver, so I have to be generous when I'm driving.
To circle back, if I feel like I'm being gaslit or people are keeping information from me... Yeah, right.
You know how people really like to infantilize actors?
They don't want to talk to the talent.
They don't want to tell talent things.
Just in my life, throughout my life, whether it's because of my acting or whatever, if I feel like people aren't being honest with me, it really upsets me.
By the way, honestly, Will, if you come to see me in something, let's say accidentally, you stumble upon a play that I'm in on Broadway.
If you came backstage and you said, I'm not crazy about this one, it would make me feel closer to you than you leaving.
I appreciate the transparency.
You're going to tell me when I suck.
Or the like, you guys did that.
That was, you did, wow, you did that.
Well, that's the thing, too, is it's so, you're so vulnerable.
When you're on stage, you're so, there's no edit room.
There's no score to hide the moment that wasn't fully honest.
Like, you're just so vulnerable up there.
So I think that's probably why it was also like a little more raw than usual.
Yeah, I was not a producer in the beginning of Scandal.
I became a producer later on in the life of the show.
But my favorite example of not knowing was we had a guest star named Joe Morton
And Joe Morton is an actor I'm a huge fan of.
He did an incredible John Sayles film called Brother From Another Planet.
And he came on, he was like the one guest star that came on our show that I called home to mom and dad and was like,
oh my God, Joe Morton's on the show.
And I was never in scenes with him.
He was always in scenes with these other characters on the show.
And every table read, I'd be like, God, I really hope that we can do a scene together.
And he'd be like, me too, me too.
And I knew that he had been in talks to do Romeo and Juliet on Broadway, and he had dropped out of that to come do Scandal.
And I was like, he doesn't even get any scenes with number one.
Like, why did he drop out of this play on Broadway?
And I just was super like, what's going on?
At the end of the scene, the very final line of that season was I get in a car, Joe Morton is sitting across from me, and he says, hi.
And I say, with a question mark at the end, dad?
Because he was my father on the show.
And he knew from the beginning, from his first phone call with Shonda Rhimes, he knew that he was going to be my dad.
I didn't know until our table read of that episode.
That would have been amazing.
Well, you mean in the movie, but not on set, right?
I mean, I had a really great film career before that because I had been in these Oscar-nominated films.
I had a joke that if you hired me to play your wife, you would win an Oscar because I was with Jamie Foxx in Ray and I was in Last King of Scotland with Forrest Whitaker.
And so I had done... But nobody connected that the girl from Save the Last Dance was the girl from Ray.
I was kind of a character actor and it was sort of disappearing into these really fun...
very different films with accents from all over the world.
But TV is just different, especially before streaming, right?
Like TV was a different beast where all of a sudden I was in people's living rooms every single week.
Like how many people do you have in your life that you actually spend an hour with every week other than your shrink?
So it's a very intimate relationship.
I'm talking to myself and myself.
Um, so it did, it did, it definitely changed my, like I changed, you know, sort of the level of how I walked in the world maybe, or like level of fame or whatever.
No, I really there was all this pressure because at the time there was all this talk.
Every interview was about the fact that in almost 40 years there had not been a black woman as the lead of a network drama.
Every article in the beginning.
And I was like 37 or something at the time.
So in my lifetime, I had never seen a black woman as the lead of a network drama.
And and so that's all my pressure was my fear of like, if I screw this up, they're not going to let another woman of color be the lead of a network drama for another 40 years.
Like I knew that we had to get it right.
And I just had to work as hard as I'd ever worked on anything in my life.
But luckily, I've worked with amazing number ones like Jamie Foxx is the best number one in the business.
No offense to you other number ones on here, but he's just no one better than Jamie Foxx.
Jango, Ray, like having worked with him in those, he's just a fun, he's so generous.
And so you picked up stuff from him and like- Yeah, I tried to collect, like Forest Whitaker's a beautiful number one.
Julia Stiles was an incredible number one.
Like I just tried to remember the things that I admired about the leaders.
I was asleep in my apartment in New Orleans.
We were like halfway through filming and I got a call at like two or three in the morning and I pick up the phone.
It's like, I was like, hello?
And I hear Leo DiCaprio and Jamie Foxx being like, yo, we need to talk.
And I was like, what's happening?
And they were like, Quinn wants to be in the movie.
So that like unfolded in the middle of shooting.
We were all shocked, but it was great.
I don't remember movies I've been in.
Do you have an easy time memorizing lines, though?
And do they stay with you, or do you forget them?
My first paid acting gig, I played a cheerleader.
I think I was like cheerleader number two.
In an ABC after school special called My Special Angel.
I may have done a PSA or something before that.
So, really, the reason I came up with that idea was because I love producing.
I fell in love with producing at Scandal, and the first film I produced was a film called Confirmation for HBO, where I played Anita Hill.
And then I fell in love with it.
And so they came to me to do this play on Broadway, the producers.
And I said, sure, I'll be in it if I can help produce.
But on Broadway, producing really just means finding money.
You get to be a creative producer as well.
But I was like, oh, I don't do the financing thing.
But I was like, okay, I'll jump in and I'll try.
And one of the ideas I had for how I could make the money to help produce the play was like, what if we film it?
What if we can sell it to a streamer?
Netflix, you know, Ted read it and loved it.
We kind of like built a fourth wall to complete the room because the play all takes place in one room.
And so we just completed the room and shot it on a stage in the one room.
It means so much coming from you.
By the way... It's on Netflix.
I'm on location because I'm doing, we're doing a new YouTube series at my company called The Street You Grew Up On.
And it's something I started in pandemic because my production company is named after the street that my mother grew up on in the Bronx, Simpson Street.
And when we were kids, we used to hear all these stories about like,
all the shenanigans that went on in Simpson Street.
So I feel like that's my once upon a time.
Like, my grandparents came to the States through Ellis Island, they immigrated from the Caribbean, and they lived in the Bronx, and Simpson Street was like, you know, where it all started, where the dreams began.
So I interview people that I really like and respect and admire, other than the three of you, and about the street that they grew up on.
So, yeah, and I asked them questions about the street they grew up on and what their childhoods were like.
It's fun, so we're doing a bunch of them today.
I have a dream about maybe next season going to some of the locations with our guests.
Because the stories are incredible.
Yeah, the people that live there now.
Wait, so the first question that I ask everybody is to learn the name of the street that they grew up on.
So I want to know the name of your first pet and the street you grew up on.
So I want to ask you three your porn names.
Not your actual porn names that you have used in the past because I know you have those.
Why did you name your dog Josh?
The best was that I interviewed my mom for the series, and I was like, you didn't have any pets, Mom, did you?
And she said, no, no, we did, we did.
So my mom's, my mother's porn name is Big Boy Simpson.
I had hamsters named Trick and Treat.
And I grew up on Pugsley Avenue, so I was Trick and Treat Pugsley.
That's how we start each episode.
So I'm not very relaxed these days because I haven't been very bored.
This is the main theme of my therapy these days is figuring out how to schedule more like open creative time because I am a doer.
Like I really like to be busy and I like to –
accomplish things and feel like I'm being productive and useful in the world but I also really really love my family and spending time with them and being able to read a book on the beach I'm with the reading the book on the beach team I can't do it thank you I do I'm with that that's the worst
Or even listen to an audio book.
It's just, like, a section of the day where you get to disappear.
Well, they work hard on that.
They work hard, all those games, to control your brain.
So I also, I want to thank so many, a lot of the folks that I work with wanted me to do this podcast even more than I was.
I mean, I really, I'm such a Uber fan, but my, there's a guy on my team named Will who was like, we have a podcast coming out, Prophecy.
So you, yeah, it's a bad name, but he sounds brilliant.
Will was like, because we're doing a podcast, we have to be on the best podcast.
So that is part of why I'm so happy to be talking to you guys.
So Prophecy is a narrative podcast on Audible.
The concept is, what if the Bible wasn't a document about things that people thought happened in the past, but what if it was a prophetic document about things that were going to happen in the future?
And so I play this woman, this scientist, who winds up being pregnant, and I don't know how because my husband can't impregnate me.
And my name is Virginia Maryland.
And there's a scientist named Jonah who gets in a situation with a whale and stays alive for three days.
And there's a guy named Daniel who's a zoologist who ends up in a lion's den and they don't kill him.
And it's kind of like these biblical happenings are popping up and what does it mean and how do we deal with it?
Well, a part of why I wanted to, I'm in this deal with Audible to create podcasts in the narrative space, and I feel like it's a really good way to test out story and figure out, is this limited?
I think it might be a trilogy of films.
Can I just say, I want to say as somebody who like, this is what we do all the time.
I can tell every time I listen that people are, they don't want to get off with you.
They're like, they love these interviews.
Good to see you.
Good to see you.
Thanks for having me.
Thanks for having me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You said it perfectly. Shadow Force is like this big, splashy action adventure where I play this badass mercenary. But at its core, it's really a story about love. It's about parents, these estranged lovers, played by myself and Omar Sy, and we have this son. And we are willing to go to the ends of the earth to protect this son.
You said it perfectly. Shadow Force is like this big, splashy action adventure where I play this badass mercenary. But at its core, it's really a story about love. It's about parents, these estranged lovers, played by myself and Omar Sy, and we have this son. And we are willing to go to the ends of the earth to protect this son.
So I wrote this memoir about my family, about my mother, father, and me. I'm an only child. And kind of the dynamics that unfolded when we got to step into our truth. And my mom said something really beautiful when we were presenting the memoir to the world. She said, it's like we're not afraid to hurt each other anymore because there's a new strength in our family.
So I wrote this memoir about my family, about my mother, father, and me. I'm an only child. And kind of the dynamics that unfolded when we got to step into our truth. And my mom said something really beautiful when we were presenting the memoir to the world. She said, it's like we're not afraid to hurt each other anymore because there's a new strength in our family.
And I felt like in making Shadow Force, I got to bring that new strength, that new fearlessness into a character. I got to really embody power and fearlessness in a way that I never had before. And I've played really strong characters throughout my career, but... This was a new level of embodiment.
And I felt like in making Shadow Force, I got to bring that new strength, that new fearlessness into a character. I got to really embody power and fearlessness in a way that I never had before. And I've played really strong characters throughout my career, but... This was a new level of embodiment.
This was like, what does it feel like to train really hard to, you know, the physical training, the fight choreography, the weapons training, all of that was like a very, very physical manifestation of feelings that I felt like I had been cultivating over the past few years.
This was like, what does it feel like to train really hard to, you know, the physical training, the fight choreography, the weapons training, all of that was like a very, very physical manifestation of feelings that I felt like I had been cultivating over the past few years.
So it was really exciting for me to like get out there and kick ass and just act as if there was nothing I couldn't do or wouldn't do to protect my family.
So it was really exciting for me to like get out there and kick ass and just act as if there was nothing I couldn't do or wouldn't do to protect my family.
I think there are lots of different kinds of strength. And I think, you know, the exciting thing for me as an actor is I get to explore some of those dynamics of how we express who we are in our lifetime. And Olivia Pope, for example, is a really strong person in her brain. Like intellectually, she's really strong. Emotionally, she's strong.
I think there are lots of different kinds of strength. And I think, you know, the exciting thing for me as an actor is I get to explore some of those dynamics of how we express who we are in our lifetime. And Olivia Pope, for example, is a really strong person in her brain. Like intellectually, she's really strong. Emotionally, she's strong.
But I have never thought of myself as a fighter, as a warrior, you know, and so to to get up every morning and train with these incredible martial artists and stunt coordinators to like really put my body in a place where I'm wearing that strength in my cells. was just a crazy journey.
But I have never thought of myself as a fighter, as a warrior, you know, and so to to get up every morning and train with these incredible martial artists and stunt coordinators to like really put my body in a place where I'm wearing that strength in my cells. was just a crazy journey.
It was so exciting to like, let the strength not just exist mentally, because Kyra, the character I play in Shadow Force, she's smart and she's emotionally strong, but she's also got guns, like guns and guns. And so like, yeah, like to become that person and to, You know, it's such a wonderful relationship. The mind body connection is so interesting. You talk about it a lot on this show.
It was so exciting to like, let the strength not just exist mentally, because Kyra, the character I play in Shadow Force, she's smart and she's emotionally strong, but she's also got guns, like guns and guns. And so like, yeah, like to become that person and to, You know, it's such a wonderful relationship. The mind body connection is so interesting. You talk about it a lot on this show.
And so for me to get to to really, really commit to trying to be as strong and fearless physically as I had become emotionally and spiritually. was very cool.
And so for me to get to to really, really commit to trying to be as strong and fearless physically as I had become emotionally and spiritually. was very cool.
Yeah, I mean, that's another great example, right? Is when you get on your knees in prayer, again, that's a physical embodiment of an emotional dynamic because there is inherent humility for being on your knees. So sometimes, like I'm a person who prays all the time. Like I pray in my car. I pray when I'm walking down the street. I pray when I'm cooking dinner.
Yeah, I mean, that's another great example, right? Is when you get on your knees in prayer, again, that's a physical embodiment of an emotional dynamic because there is inherent humility for being on your knees. So sometimes, like I'm a person who prays all the time. Like I pray in my car. I pray when I'm walking down the street. I pray when I'm cooking dinner.
But I do feel like there are times when it's really important for me to take that submissive posture and get on my knees just to remind myself that I'm not in control, that I'm not the ultimate power, that there's something bigger than me, that I can ask for help that's outside of me.
But I do feel like there are times when it's really important for me to take that submissive posture and get on my knees just to remind myself that I'm not in control, that I'm not the ultimate power, that there's something bigger than me, that I can ask for help that's outside of me.
So again, for me, that relationship between how we think, how we feel, and how it lives in the body is such a huge part of how I work as an actor and how I try to live my life. Yeah.
So again, for me, that relationship between how we think, how we feel, and how it lives in the body is such a huge part of how I work as an actor and how I try to live my life. Yeah.
So like you said I was in college and I was really struggling I have throughout my life struggled with an eating disorder and that was like the worst of it it was the that was the turning point where I really was like I need help like I can't fix this by myself and
So like you said I was in college and I was really struggling I have throughout my life struggled with an eating disorder and that was like the worst of it it was the that was the turning point where I really was like I need help like I can't fix this by myself and
For me, I knew that eating disorders existed. And I think I tried to play this game where I didn't want to fit into any easy diagnosis. So I was always kind of like... like transforming it and morphing it. And it would be like days of binging and then days of starving and then days of over-exercising and just kind of like, I felt like if I kept moving it, that I wasn't any simple sick person.
For me, I knew that eating disorders existed. And I think I tried to play this game where I didn't want to fit into any easy diagnosis. So I was always kind of like... like transforming it and morphing it. And it would be like days of binging and then days of starving and then days of over-exercising and just kind of like, I felt like if I kept moving it, that I wasn't any simple sick person.
I was just like trying to be my best me, but I was controlled and obsessed by feeling like I wasn't enough. Yeah. So the prayer for me was really, I think what I started to hear was that it was okay to ask for help. and that it was okay for me to seek healing.
I was just like trying to be my best me, but I was controlled and obsessed by feeling like I wasn't enough. Yeah. So the prayer for me was really, I think what I started to hear was that it was okay to ask for help. and that it was okay for me to seek healing.
I think for me, that journey started really, really, really early. And I talk about this a little bit in my memoir, but I was conceived with the help of a sperm donor. And that was something I didn't find out until I was in my forties. And it was pretty wild. I think my parents would have taken this secret to their graves if they could have.
I think for me, that journey started really, really, really early. And I talk about this a little bit in my memoir, but I was conceived with the help of a sperm donor. And that was something I didn't find out until I was in my forties. And it was pretty wild. I think my parents would have taken this secret to their graves if they could have.
And luckily they weren't able to, they were kind of forced to tell me, to share this with me.
And luckily they weren't able to, they were kind of forced to tell me, to share this with me.
And it wound up being transformative for our family because it was the thing that they were most terrified to tell me because they thought that it would destroy our family, that I would be angry with them, that I would no longer see my dad as my dad, that it would fracture this kind of perfect facade, this image that we were portraying to the world.
And it wound up being transformative for our family because it was the thing that they were most terrified to tell me because they thought that it would destroy our family, that I would be angry with them, that I would no longer see my dad as my dad, that it would fracture this kind of perfect facade, this image that we were portraying to the world.
It, of course, as with most things in life, had the opposite impact. It was so healing for my family to sit in that truth and to have the courage to be honest with one another actually made me feel closer to my dad. It made me so grateful to my parents. I understood so many of the confusing dynamics of... Our household growing up, suddenly I understood.
It, of course, as with most things in life, had the opposite impact. It was so healing for my family to sit in that truth and to have the courage to be honest with one another actually made me feel closer to my dad. It made me so grateful to my parents. I understood so many of the confusing dynamics of... Our household growing up, suddenly I understood.
You know, I often say like I entered the world in a lie, right? Like the moment that I got here, the moment that I emerged from my mom, like they were lying to me about who my parents were. And so I think there was a disconnect very early on. And like most kids, I decided like children to make sense of discomfort and unease. We will they will blame ourselves.
You know, I often say like I entered the world in a lie, right? Like the moment that I got here, the moment that I emerged from my mom, like they were lying to me about who my parents were. And so I think there was a disconnect very early on. And like most kids, I decided like children to make sense of discomfort and unease. We will they will blame ourselves.
Like I must be the reason because you can't blame your parents because they're responsible for your survival and well-being. So you blame yourself. And so for me, I think I decided, well, I must not be enough. Like this weird disconnect that I have or this way that they hold me at arm's length or this kind of slight veil where I feel like I'm not getting 100% of the truth.
Like I must be the reason because you can't blame your parents because they're responsible for your survival and well-being. So you blame yourself. And so for me, I think I decided, well, I must not be enough. Like this weird disconnect that I have or this way that they hold me at arm's length or this kind of slight veil where I feel like I'm not getting 100% of the truth.
And I couldn't have articulated any of that as a child, but it was a feeling, right? I thought, well, maybe if I'm better, they'll be closer to me. If I'm better, I'll have their full presence. So that's why I think I interpreted it as I have to be more. I have to do better. I have to be better in order to get presence and love and acceptance.
And I couldn't have articulated any of that as a child, but it was a feeling, right? I thought, well, maybe if I'm better, they'll be closer to me. If I'm better, I'll have their full presence. So that's why I think I interpreted it as I have to be more. I have to do better. I have to be better in order to get presence and love and acceptance.
I did. I mean, my parents did such a beautiful job. And even their choice of not to tell me was a choice that came out of love, right? They were trying to protect me in a time when, I mean, this was, you know, I'm in my 40s. So... there weren't like sperm banks where you could go through a catalog and carefully pick your donor. This was the wild west. People weren't doing this.
I did. I mean, my parents did such a beautiful job. And even their choice of not to tell me was a choice that came out of love, right? They were trying to protect me in a time when, I mean, this was, you know, I'm in my 40s. So... there weren't like sperm banks where you could go through a catalog and carefully pick your donor. This was the wild west. People weren't doing this.
Nobody they knew had done this. And so they thought not telling me was the best way to go. And I think for my dad, not telling me was really because he really was in denial. I mean, he was, he believed the myth of our family. What was the myth of your family? That I was his. Ah. He believed that.
Nobody they knew had done this. And so they thought not telling me was the best way to go. And I think for my dad, not telling me was really because he really was in denial. I mean, he was, he believed the myth of our family. What was the myth of your family? That I was his. Ah. He believed that.
And so his not telling me, I think was really, he was sharing as much of the truth with me as he could. My mom, I think had a more awareness of the reality. And so her not telling me, I think was really protective. Yeah. Yeah. I know it's pretty wild.
And so his not telling me, I think was really, he was sharing as much of the truth with me as he could. My mom, I think had a more awareness of the reality. And so her not telling me, I think was really protective. Yeah. Yeah. I know it's pretty wild.
It's so complicated, but I know it's so funny as I look back on it, because I'm, I feel like when you're able to look back on your life, you can see, or for me, I'll speak for myself. As I look back on my life, I can see how everything happened for a reason. And the things that are our greatest challenges, this sounds so cliche, but But they have become my strengths, right?
It's so complicated, but I know it's so funny as I look back on it, because I'm, I feel like when you're able to look back on your life, you can see, or for me, I'll speak for myself. As I look back on my life, I can see how everything happened for a reason. And the things that are our greatest challenges, this sounds so cliche, but But they have become my strengths, right?
Like this feeling of I have to do better and be better is what allows me to lean into greatness. It's what makes me seek excellence. It's what makes me train for four hours a day and stunt training and a workout on top of that and learning the fight choreography. And, you know, it's like I want to be great in the things I do. The trick for me is...
Like this feeling of I have to do better and be better is what allows me to lean into greatness. It's what makes me seek excellence. It's what makes me train for four hours a day and stunt training and a workout on top of that and learning the fight choreography. And, you know, it's like I want to be great in the things I do. The trick for me is...
as an adult seeking that excellence and greatness without the attachment that I'm not enough. Like waking up and saying like, I am enough and I still have a right to chase greatness.
as an adult seeking that excellence and greatness without the attachment that I'm not enough. Like waking up and saying like, I am enough and I still have a right to chase greatness.
I think you can. For me, that's what I'm really trying to do. It's the walk that I'm trying to walk is like, can I... Can I love myself and also seek more? Is it okay to want to be excellent, to be great, to be a champion, to be a master at my craft and not have that come from a place of deficiency, have that come from a place of joy and seeking?
I think you can. For me, that's what I'm really trying to do. It's the walk that I'm trying to walk is like, can I... Can I love myself and also seek more? Is it okay to want to be excellent, to be great, to be a champion, to be a master at my craft and not have that come from a place of deficiency, have that come from a place of joy and seeking?
I feel like from the moment that I went into therapy in college, those days of like getting on my knees and being like, somebody help me. I feel like I've been on this journey of trying to feel like enough of like picking up tools throughout the decades of like, I, I know I should feel like enough. And so I, I like, I know that that like, we're all perfectly imperfect. We're all children of God.
I feel like from the moment that I went into therapy in college, those days of like getting on my knees and being like, somebody help me. I feel like I've been on this journey of trying to feel like enough of like picking up tools throughout the decades of like, I, I know I should feel like enough. And so I, I like, I know that that like, we're all perfectly imperfect. We're all children of God.
Like I should feel, wake up in the morning and not hate myself. Like we all deserve that. And so I've been trying to cultivate, like, what does that take? What will that look like? What do I have to do? Different healing practices, different modalities and yoga and Pilates and therapy and group therapy and, um, introspection. And so I've, I have been on that walk, but I do think that
Like I should feel, wake up in the morning and not hate myself. Like we all deserve that. And so I've been trying to cultivate, like, what does that take? What will that look like? What do I have to do? Different healing practices, different modalities and yoga and Pilates and therapy and group therapy and, um, introspection. And so I've, I have been on that walk, but I do think that
And it's gradual, right? It's not like you wake up one day and you're like, I'm healed now. But I do think my parents offering me this deeper truth about who I am and where I come from, it like gave me permission to relax into who I am and to be like, I'm good. Yeah. I'm okay.
And it's gradual, right? It's not like you wake up one day and you're like, I'm healed now. But I do think my parents offering me this deeper truth about who I am and where I come from, it like gave me permission to relax into who I am and to be like, I'm good. Yeah. I'm okay.
And again, I've always had a really loving relationship with my parents. I have incredible parents and they have given me so many tools, consciously and unconsciously. They've been a tremendous part of the story of me getting to where I am today. I'm not where I am despite my parents. I'm mostly where I am because of my parents.
And again, I've always had a really loving relationship with my parents. I have incredible parents and they have given me so many tools, consciously and unconsciously. They've been a tremendous part of the story of me getting to where I am today. I'm not where I am despite my parents. I'm mostly where I am because of my parents.
And then there is a little bit of despite those dynamics, I wound up here. Right. So I do, I think I've, I had a really good relationship with my parents, but I have a great relationship with my parents now because of the gift of truth that they've offered us.
And then there is a little bit of despite those dynamics, I wound up here. Right. So I do, I think I've, I had a really good relationship with my parents, but I have a great relationship with my parents now because of the gift of truth that they've offered us.
I felt like something was missing.
I felt like something was missing.
What's funny is that there were these kind of smaller revelations throughout my childhood. Like I talk about in the book, how my dad was kind of involved in this investigation. And so when I learned about that, I was like, oh, this is what it was, right?
What's funny is that there were these kind of smaller revelations throughout my childhood. Like I talk about in the book, how my dad was kind of involved in this investigation. And so when I learned about that, I was like, oh, this is what it was, right?
Yes, there were these, I think, the culture of my family was kind of hide the truth to look good. And like, we should do whatever it takes to like look good in the world. So as I would learn these smaller truths along the way, I kept waiting to feel the revelatory feeling that I had when I got the big truth.
Yes, there were these, I think, the culture of my family was kind of hide the truth to look good. And like, we should do whatever it takes to like look good in the world. So as I would learn these smaller truths along the way, I kept waiting to feel the revelatory feeling that I had when I got the big truth.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I did. I did. It was like a roller coaster. I feel like I've had every possible feeling that you could have about this story. news that I got, any possible feeling you could have, I've had. I've had gratitude. I've felt elated. I have felt bliss. I have felt anger. I've felt anxiety. I felt fear.
I did. I did. It was like a roller coaster. I feel like I've had every possible feeling that you could have about this story. news that I got, any possible feeling you could have, I've had. I've had gratitude. I've felt elated. I have felt bliss. I have felt anger. I've felt anxiety. I felt fear.
So it was, I mean, I think when they first told me, I felt really compassionate because I could see when they told me how afraid they were to tell me. And I remember saying to my dad, And I don't know where this came from, but I'm so grateful that this dropped into my brain to say to him. I said to him, you know, our whole lives, I have told you that I love you on the pretense of a lie.
So it was, I mean, I think when they first told me, I felt really compassionate because I could see when they told me how afraid they were to tell me. And I remember saying to my dad, And I don't know where this came from, but I'm so grateful that this dropped into my brain to say to him. I said to him, you know, our whole lives, I have told you that I love you on the pretense of a lie.
Like every time that I have said I love you, there's been a tiny filter that my dad was thinking like, oh, she loves me because she thinks I am her father. And so in this revelation, I actually got to say, I love you unconditionally. Like I got to say, I know the full truth of you and I'm not going anywhere. I still love you. And to me, that's a much more powerful love, right?
Like every time that I have said I love you, there's been a tiny filter that my dad was thinking like, oh, she loves me because she thinks I am her father. And so in this revelation, I actually got to say, I love you unconditionally. Like I got to say, I know the full truth of you and I'm not going anywhere. I still love you. And to me, that's a much more powerful love, right?
A love that's rooted in absolute vulnerability and honesty. When you get to like show all your dirty laundry to somebody and your greatest fears and admit that the things that you're scared to admit and they don't go anywhere, that is real love, right? So that's what we got to give each other. When they gave me the truth, I got to give them that return of unconditional love.
A love that's rooted in absolute vulnerability and honesty. When you get to like show all your dirty laundry to somebody and your greatest fears and admit that the things that you're scared to admit and they don't go anywhere, that is real love, right? So that's what we got to give each other. When they gave me the truth, I got to give them that return of unconditional love.
And them giving me the truth was a way of loving me unconditionally because they were saying, we know you might be mad. We know you may not want to be in relationship with us. We know this might change the dynamic of our family forever, but we're going to give you this truth anyway.
And them giving me the truth was a way of loving me unconditionally because they were saying, we know you might be mad. We know you may not want to be in relationship with us. We know this might change the dynamic of our family forever, but we're going to give you this truth anyway.
That's right. My mom was like, when was I supposed to tell you? When you're in the throes of an eating disorder? Like, when was I supposed to tell you? When you're totally depressed or then, you know, you're in a broken relationship. Or she was like, there was never a good time.
That's right. My mom was like, when was I supposed to tell you? When you're in the throes of an eating disorder? Like, when was I supposed to tell you? When you're totally depressed or then, you know, you're in a broken relationship. Or she was like, there was never a good time.
That's right.
That's right.
Yeah. But we're all doing the best we can, right? And again, like, especially as parents, I think it is really powerful and important, I think, in our journey that... they told me at the right time, right? Because it's when they told me. So whenever that, whenever it happened is when it was supposed to happen.
Yeah. But we're all doing the best we can, right? And again, like, especially as parents, I think it is really powerful and important, I think, in our journey that... they told me at the right time, right? Because it's when they told me. So whenever that, whenever it happened is when it was supposed to happen.
And I do think there's something beautiful about the fact that when they told me I was myself a parent, because I had a different level of understanding of how hard it is to parent and how you can try to do everything perfectly, but nobody gets it perfect. It's And actually the ways that our parents are imperfect, that's part of the journey of how we become who we are.
And I do think there's something beautiful about the fact that when they told me I was myself a parent, because I had a different level of understanding of how hard it is to parent and how you can try to do everything perfectly, but nobody gets it perfect. It's And actually the ways that our parents are imperfect, that's part of the journey of how we become who we are.
That's how we fill in those cracks and become the adults that we are. Yeah.
That's how we fill in those cracks and become the adults that we are. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, it's so funny when I think about it. It was a very important lesson for me and also how to metabolize fear and how to run toward the things that we think will destroy us. Because initially, he wouldn't even take a genetic test. He was like, I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I don't want anybody else to know. He literally said to me, if you do this, it will kill me. Oh, my gosh.
You know, it's so funny when I think about it. It was a very important lesson for me and also how to metabolize fear and how to run toward the things that we think will destroy us. Because initially, he wouldn't even take a genetic test. He was like, I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I don't want anybody else to know. He literally said to me, if you do this, it will kill me. Oh, my gosh.
He didn't want me to write a book. He was like, nobody should know. Why do we have to talk about this? Nobody needs to talk about this. Nobody needs to know. Then I think about moments in my book tour where he's like standing in an auditorium getting a standing ovation. Oh, my gosh. celebrating his presence as a dad.
He didn't want me to write a book. He was like, nobody should know. Why do we have to talk about this? Nobody needs to talk about this. Nobody needs to know. Then I think about moments in my book tour where he's like standing in an auditorium getting a standing ovation. Oh, my gosh. celebrating his presence as a dad.
And the fact that despite the fact that I wasn't genetically his, that he has been such a force in my life and has loved me so fiercely. And, you know, he got that in like several cities, standing ovations, cheering him on and celebrating him. And on national television, people saying like, what an amazing thing you did. And even the fact that
And the fact that despite the fact that I wasn't genetically his, that he has been such a force in my life and has loved me so fiercely. And, you know, he got that in like several cities, standing ovations, cheering him on and celebrating him. And on national television, people saying like, what an amazing thing you did. And even the fact that
that my parents made this choice to use a sperm donor in the seventies when nobody was doing that, that in itself is a testament of how much they wanted me. Right? So that journey for my dad to see him go from being somebody who he thought would lose all respect and credibility and masculinity and identity to see him be so celebrated and held up. It's a really important lesson, right?
that my parents made this choice to use a sperm donor in the seventies when nobody was doing that, that in itself is a testament of how much they wanted me. Right? So that journey for my dad to see him go from being somebody who he thought would lose all respect and credibility and masculinity and identity to see him be so celebrated and held up. It's a really important lesson, right?
100%.
100%.
But you can't take away that he's been my dad. It's like he's my dad. Nothing changes that. And it's funny because my kids grow up in a world where like, yeah, you can have two dads and two moms and step parents and they like, the village is big. And so that was one of the things I said to him was like, it's not gonna change anything for your grandkids.
But you can't take away that he's been my dad. It's like he's my dad. Nothing changes that. And it's funny because my kids grow up in a world where like, yeah, you can have two dads and two moms and step parents and they like, the village is big. And so that was one of the things I said to him was like, it's not gonna change anything for your grandkids.
Even if we know who this other donor is, that's just another parent. It doesn't take away from you. You hold your space, you hold your throne. You are who you are in this family. Let's go. I like that. It's so funny because when I first read Shadow Force, it was one of the things that really drew me to the script because Omar Sy, who people love from Lupin, he's amazing.
Even if we know who this other donor is, that's just another parent. It doesn't take away from you. You hold your space, you hold your throne. You are who you are in this family. Let's go. I like that. It's so funny because when I first read Shadow Force, it was one of the things that really drew me to the script because Omar Sy, who people love from Lupin, he's amazing.
He's like an incredible actor. And he plays my husband and he's the dad in this film. And in the script, the dad is the primary parent. As the mom, we both used to be mercenaries and we broke the rules and fell in love and I got pregnant. We have this child and then we have to leave this highly trained group of mercenaries that we were in to be on the run.
He's like an incredible actor. And he plays my husband and he's the dad in this film. And in the script, the dad is the primary parent. As the mom, we both used to be mercenaries and we broke the rules and fell in love and I got pregnant. We have this child and then we have to leave this highly trained group of mercenaries that we were in to be on the run.
And I disappear, because I'm like, everybody's gonna be looking for a mother and a child. Nobody, because of how we think about parenting and culture, nobody's gonna be looking for a man and a son. And so he takes on the primary parenting. And Omar is such an extraordinary dad. He's got a bunch of kids of his own.
And I disappear, because I'm like, everybody's gonna be looking for a mother and a child. Nobody, because of how we think about parenting and culture, nobody's gonna be looking for a man and a son. And so he takes on the primary parenting. And Omar is such an extraordinary dad. He's got a bunch of kids of his own.
And it's so beautiful to see this man parent this child in this film and the mom kind of on the outskirts being protecting them, like taking people down so that they don't get hurt, but not being able to be there to do the day to day in the way that the dad is. And I really loved that about this script because I feel like we need those stories and culture. We need those images.
And it's so beautiful to see this man parent this child in this film and the mom kind of on the outskirts being protecting them, like taking people down so that they don't get hurt, but not being able to be there to do the day to day in the way that the dad is. And I really loved that about this script because I feel like we need those stories and culture. We need those images.
And and this couple, you know, they sort of.
And and this couple, you know, they sort of.
learn to lean into partnering again in order to parent and I think that's also just such an important story to be telling in culture right now that being a part of being a great mom is also if you're lucky enough to have a great partner leaning into that partnership and allowing that and maybe the partner is the dad maybe the partner is you know every kid takes a village but like leaning into whoever those partners are knowing that you don't have to do it all yourself
learn to lean into partnering again in order to parent and I think that's also just such an important story to be telling in culture right now that being a part of being a great mom is also if you're lucky enough to have a great partner leaning into that partnership and allowing that and maybe the partner is the dad maybe the partner is you know every kid takes a village but like leaning into whoever those partners are knowing that you don't have to do it all yourself
you can be part of the village that raises a child.
you can be part of the village that raises a child.
So there are a couple of things. I mean, one is my parents, the fact that my parents are still together is a real gift and a miracle. And I remember, right, like it's not that common. And there were times, I talk about this in the memoir, where I would be like, you guys should break up. Like what, you are not happy.
So there are a couple of things. I mean, one is my parents, the fact that my parents are still together is a real gift and a miracle. And I remember, right, like it's not that common. And there were times, I talk about this in the memoir, where I would be like, you guys should break up. Like what, you are not happy.
And I remember my mom saying to me, I know that you think you know everything. I was like 16. She was like, for you, your 16 years are the full picture. But your 16 years are a fraction of our marriage. We were together long before you got here. So we have had good times and bad times. We've had ups and downs. Your little window into this is not the full story.
And I remember my mom saying to me, I know that you think you know everything. I was like 16. She was like, for you, your 16 years are the full picture. But your 16 years are a fraction of our marriage. We were together long before you got here. So we have had good times and bad times. We've had ups and downs. Your little window into this is not the full story.
And that was a really important lesson to me in marriage. what marriage is, that there are like, there are highs and lows. It's a journey. It's a path. And like, if you're committed, you have to be committed for the journey. Um, and that's not to say that I don't agree with divorce and I don't think divorce isn't right for some people that, you know, some relationships are meant to be forever.
And that was a really important lesson to me in marriage. what marriage is, that there are like, there are highs and lows. It's a journey. It's a path. And like, if you're committed, you have to be committed for the journey. Um, and that's not to say that I don't agree with divorce and I don't think divorce isn't right for some people that, you know, some relationships are meant to be forever.
Some are for a season. Like I, all of that is true, but I think I, um, I had an understanding that marriage as a commitment, if you're going to make the commitment, it has to be about something deeper than ego. Like it has, something has to keep you, if you're going to do it with love and joy and I mean, I don't know if I need to say any other word other than love.
Some are for a season. Like I, all of that is true, but I think I, um, I had an understanding that marriage as a commitment, if you're going to make the commitment, it has to be about something deeper than ego. Like it has, something has to keep you, if you're going to do it with love and joy and I mean, I don't know if I need to say any other word other than love.
If you're gonna do it with real love, then having something deeper to commit to that's bigger than just the two of you is really important. So I think that's where the spirit comes in.
If you're gonna do it with real love, then having something deeper to commit to that's bigger than just the two of you is really important. So I think that's where the spirit comes in.
So, I mean, one thing is I'm always careful to talk too much about like the us when he's not in the room, because I feel like. It's interesting. It's sort of like with my kids. I don't post a lot about my kids or talk a lot about their inner lives or their journeys because I feel like their story is theirs and they have a right to tell their story in their way.
So, I mean, one thing is I'm always careful to talk too much about like the us when he's not in the room, because I feel like. It's interesting. It's sort of like with my kids. I don't post a lot about my kids or talk a lot about their inner lives or their journeys because I feel like their story is theirs and they have a right to tell their story in their way.
And I feel that way a little bit about my marriage too. If we were both sitting here, we could kind of agree and co-sign on it. But I would say... The first thing I thought about when you asked me that question is the importance of therapy. Because... Let's go! Let's go! Right? Like, individual therapy, couples therapy. Like, being willing to have spaces... where you do the work.
And I feel that way a little bit about my marriage too. If we were both sitting here, we could kind of agree and co-sign on it. But I would say... The first thing I thought about when you asked me that question is the importance of therapy. Because... Let's go! Let's go! Right? Like, individual therapy, couples therapy. Like, being willing to have spaces... where you do the work.
And I remember my dad one day being like, you guys are in couples therapy, like what's wrong? And we were like, nothing, like nothing's wrong. It is a place where we go to take care of our marriage. In the way that I go to the gym to take care of my body, or I go to the dentist to take care of my teeth,
And I remember my dad one day being like, you guys are in couples therapy, like what's wrong? And we were like, nothing, like nothing's wrong. It is a place where we go to take care of our marriage. In the way that I go to the gym to take care of my body, or I go to the dentist to take care of my teeth,
I feel like as a couple, we deserve and therefore we cultivate a place where we care for our relationship. And it doesn't come out of crisis. It doesn't come out of things that are bad. I mean, in fact, like we spend a lot of time in therapy consciously talking about what we're doing well and acknowledging that. for each other.
I feel like as a couple, we deserve and therefore we cultivate a place where we care for our relationship. And it doesn't come out of crisis. It doesn't come out of things that are bad. I mean, in fact, like we spend a lot of time in therapy consciously talking about what we're doing well and acknowledging that. for each other.
Cause it's really important to not take for granted that there are good things to celebrate and acknowledge about each other. Right. And so that's, I mean, I feel like therapy is a big part of that spiritual commitment. So one of the things I remember my, one of, one of my many therapists saying early on to me was, A healthy relationship is not just about like give and take.
Cause it's really important to not take for granted that there are good things to celebrate and acknowledge about each other. Right. And so that's, I mean, I feel like therapy is a big part of that spiritual commitment. So one of the things I remember my, one of, one of my many therapists saying early on to me was, A healthy relationship is not just about like give and take.
Like I do for you, you do for me. That actually it's important to think about the relationship almost as a third entity that you're both pouring into. It's like a bank account. It's like a spiritual or emotional love account where like I'm not just doing for him and then he owes me. It's like we're both pouring into this thing that matters to us, which is the marriage.
Like I do for you, you do for me. That actually it's important to think about the relationship almost as a third entity that you're both pouring into. It's like a bank account. It's like a spiritual or emotional love account where like I'm not just doing for him and then he owes me. It's like we're both pouring into this thing that matters to us, which is the marriage.
Do you like saying wife?
Do you like saying wife?
I love, I mean, I just love the word husband. I like add multiple syllables. Husband. I love it. Yeah.
I love, I mean, I just love the word husband. I like add multiple syllables. Husband. I love it. Yeah.
Oh, because you went to therapy when things got bad.
Oh, because you went to therapy when things got bad.
But then you learned to choose a partner who was willing to walk that walk with you.
But then you learned to choose a partner who was willing to walk that walk with you.
Amazing.
Amazing.
So smart. Because then when you have something that you need to unpack, you're not like, uh-oh, we got to step in the ring and battle it out in therapy. It's like, no, you know what? Let's talk about that this week.
So smart. Because then when you have something that you need to unpack, you're not like, uh-oh, we got to step in the ring and battle it out in therapy. It's like, no, you know what? Let's talk about that this week.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's so funny because I hadn't really thought about this. I mean, I know it's... Sometimes when you're doing press for a movie, you're like, oh my God, this is why we're doing this. Should we have known this earlier? But I think...
It's so funny because I hadn't really thought about this. I mean, I know it's... Sometimes when you're doing press for a movie, you're like, oh my God, this is why we're doing this. Should we have known this earlier? But I think...
I think a big part of what pulled me towards Shadow Force was that you get to watch this couple that sort of start out as adversaries because they are like, their marriage is fractured. And they actually become a team, right? And like literally one of the hardest, most exciting, most fun fight scenes in the film is early on Omar and I fighting each other.
I think a big part of what pulled me towards Shadow Force was that you get to watch this couple that sort of start out as adversaries because they are like, their marriage is fractured. And they actually become a team, right? And like literally one of the hardest, most exciting, most fun fight scenes in the film is early on Omar and I fighting each other.
It's like a crazy, it's like your worst couples therapy. Yes. like drop picks. Yeah, because we're both like highly trained mercenaries, right? So he's this big guy, he's really strong. He's done lots of stunts in big action movies. And we trained for a long time together to be able to do this dance.
It's like a crazy, it's like your worst couples therapy. Yes. like drop picks. Yeah, because we're both like highly trained mercenaries, right? So he's this big guy, he's really strong. He's done lots of stunts in big action movies. And we trained for a long time together to be able to do this dance.
And we talked about like how his character fights differently from my character, our different fight styles and what that says about our relationship. how this couple is kind of competitive and they challenge each other. And there is like a real friction between them. You know, he's angry that she's disappeared. She's angry that she hasn't had access to the child.
And we talked about like how his character fights differently from my character, our different fight styles and what that says about our relationship. how this couple is kind of competitive and they challenge each other. And there is like a real friction between them. You know, he's angry that she's disappeared. She's angry that she hasn't had access to the child.
And there's heat between them, right?
And there's heat between them, right?
I mean, I have to be more strategic. He's a big guy. Yeah, you know, I mean, I gotta use what I have. Yeah. And as the film progresses, you get to watch them become a team. And so then it was fun for us to learn how to train together. Like, well, what are your strengths? Like, I'm a better shooter than him, but he's a stronger fighter. Right.
I mean, I have to be more strategic. He's a big guy. Yeah, you know, I mean, I gotta use what I have. Yeah. And as the film progresses, you get to watch them become a team. And so then it was fun for us to learn how to train together. Like, well, what are your strengths? Like, I'm a better shooter than him, but he's a stronger fighter. Right.
And so, like, how do we lean into that in the film so that we're an unstoppable team? Yes. And I think that is so much what marriage is, right? Like it's like figuring out, okay, this is your fighting style. This is my fighting style. Here are the things I'm upset about. What are your resentments? I don't recommend like hand to hand combat for most couples. It's not okay. Not okay. Exactly.
And so, like, how do we lean into that in the film so that we're an unstoppable team? Yes. And I think that is so much what marriage is, right? Like it's like figuring out, okay, this is your fighting style. This is my fighting style. Here are the things I'm upset about. What are your resentments? I don't recommend like hand to hand combat for most couples. It's not okay. Not okay. Exactly.
But, but to figure out. how to lean into the strengths and how to speak the same language and how to have a shared, you know, whether you call it spiritual alignment, shared goals, shared priorities, like they come together for their son where they're like, this child means everything to us. What do we have to do to protect him?
But, but to figure out. how to lean into the strengths and how to speak the same language and how to have a shared, you know, whether you call it spiritual alignment, shared goals, shared priorities, like they come together for their son where they're like, this child means everything to us. What do we have to do to protect him?
Yeah, so what?
Yeah, so what?
For me, part of why therapy is so important is because it has taught me to pause. It has taught me to take a pause and to not believe every single thought that I'm having. To not... to not get caught up in the negative self-talk, to create a little bit of distance between the stimulus and the response. There's a saying that I love that pause stands for postpone action until serenity emerges.
For me, part of why therapy is so important is because it has taught me to pause. It has taught me to take a pause and to not believe every single thought that I'm having. To not... to not get caught up in the negative self-talk, to create a little bit of distance between the stimulus and the response. There's a saying that I love that pause stands for postpone action until serenity emerges.
Amazing. Like just take a beat. And for me, in the way that life moves so quickly, sometimes therapy is that beat where I get to go like, hold on. The story I'm telling myself is that My job is terrible. The story I'm telling myself is that the world is on fire. The story I'm telling myself is that I'll never be in the body I want to be in.
Amazing. Like just take a beat. And for me, in the way that life moves so quickly, sometimes therapy is that beat where I get to go like, hold on. The story I'm telling myself is that My job is terrible. The story I'm telling myself is that the world is on fire. The story I'm telling myself is that I'll never be in the body I want to be in.
The story I'm telling myself is that I'll never find the person I want to find. But maybe I can just pause that for a moment and unpack it and figure out how to walk toward healing. So for me, therapy is a place to pause, to pause and be reflective. take responsibility for the thoughts, be honest with myself, and then try to cultivate some tools.
The story I'm telling myself is that I'll never find the person I want to find. But maybe I can just pause that for a moment and unpack it and figure out how to walk toward healing. So for me, therapy is a place to pause, to pause and be reflective. take responsibility for the thoughts, be honest with myself, and then try to cultivate some tools.
Because some of it could be that I'm not sleeping enough, right? Like sometimes what I realize in therapy is like, I don't think I'm getting enough sleep, or I don't think I'm eating right, or my hormones are off, I need to support myself better, or this relationship isn't working out, Or I don't know if I'm happy on this job or the job is good, but I think maybe I need a hobby.
Because some of it could be that I'm not sleeping enough, right? Like sometimes what I realize in therapy is like, I don't think I'm getting enough sleep, or I don't think I'm eating right, or my hormones are off, I need to support myself better, or this relationship isn't working out, Or I don't know if I'm happy on this job or the job is good, but I think maybe I need a hobby.
Like it just gives me. And so maybe for some people it's therapy for some people, it could be like meditative walking or journaling or, but it's like, what are the practices that allow me to pause and get in the present moment and be more honest with myself?
Like it just gives me. And so maybe for some people it's therapy for some people, it could be like meditative walking or journaling or, but it's like, what are the practices that allow me to pause and get in the present moment and be more honest with myself?
Really? Every single time. Because here's the crazy thing.
Really? Every single time. Because here's the crazy thing.
Yes, yes. But you've been crushing it. It's excitement though, right? Like it's that fear that also... I have to remember that the physiological experience of fear is the same physiological experience of excitement. So that fear is like... Holy I've never done. Because every time I play a new character, I'm doing something I've never done before.
Yes, yes. But you've been crushing it. It's excitement though, right? Like it's that fear that also... I have to remember that the physiological experience of fear is the same physiological experience of excitement. So that fear is like... Holy I've never done. Because every time I play a new character, I'm doing something I've never done before.
Like I do have a toolbox of like, I know how to memorize the lines and I know I, I, I, but I'm becoming a new human being. Every time I start a new project, a new person with new desires and new fears. And she walks a different way and she wears her hair a different way. And she has different ways of speaking. And breathing and eating.
Like I do have a toolbox of like, I know how to memorize the lines and I know I, I, I, but I'm becoming a new human being. Every time I start a new project, a new person with new desires and new fears. And she walks a different way and she wears her hair a different way. And she has different ways of speaking. And breathing and eating.
And so I'm starting from scratch every time I start a new role. So I'm always terrified and I'm always like, Oh God, will I be able to figure this one out? Will I be able to unlock her? Will I be able to be her in the way that the project needs me to be her? So it's super exciting.
And so I'm starting from scratch every time I start a new role. So I'm always terrified and I'm always like, Oh God, will I be able to figure this one out? Will I be able to unlock her? Will I be able to be her in the way that the project needs me to be her? So it's super exciting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I think early in my life, You know, when I was in my 20s or even like as a teenager, I actually... I was really hungry for a strong sense of self. And I didn't have one. So the characters allowed me to explore different personalities and kind of take on different people's journeys. And that was really helpful to me to...
So I think early in my life, You know, when I was in my 20s or even like as a teenager, I actually... I was really hungry for a strong sense of self. And I didn't have one. So the characters allowed me to explore different personalities and kind of take on different people's journeys. And that was really helpful to me to...
To kind of experience life through somebody else's eyes and get a sense of what resonates and what doesn't. Because I really didn't feel like I had a strong center. Yeah.
To kind of experience life through somebody else's eyes and get a sense of what resonates and what doesn't. Because I really didn't feel like I had a strong center. Yeah.
I think when I started treatment for my eating disorder and started therapy, I started to have a deeper understanding of self. Yeah. Again, I think it's grown and evolved through the years because also we're always changing, right? Of course. So our sense of self is always changing. But I think now I've really learned to see these characters as kind of extensions of myself.
I think when I started treatment for my eating disorder and started therapy, I started to have a deeper understanding of self. Yeah. Again, I think it's grown and evolved through the years because also we're always changing, right? Of course. So our sense of self is always changing. But I think now I've really learned to see these characters as kind of extensions of myself.
When I play a new character, I kind of have two jobs. There's an outside-in approach and there's an inside-out approach. And the inside-out approach is I ask myself, like, what do I, Carrie, know about this character? What about her experience can I relate to deeply? Personally. Yes, personally. From your experience.
When I play a new character, I kind of have two jobs. There's an outside-in approach and there's an inside-out approach. And the inside-out approach is I ask myself, like, what do I, Carrie, know about this character? What about her experience can I relate to deeply? Personally. Yes, personally. From your experience.
Do I have the courage to reveal that part of myself publicly and let the other stuff kind of fall away and let that part of me be my full essence in this character?
Do I have the courage to reveal that part of myself publicly and let the other stuff kind of fall away and let that part of me be my full essence in this character?
So like, you know, people say before you have kids, people will say to you like, oh, I would kill for my child. And you're like, oh, that's such a cute expression.
So like, you know, people say before you have kids, people will say to you like, oh, I would kill for my child. And you're like, oh, that's such a cute expression.
And then you have children and you're like, oh, I get it. Like I I can't imagine something I wouldn't do to protect my children. Right. Like I love them so fiercely. So then I read this script where this woman is literally taking people out to protect her child. I'm like, okay, well, I've never killed anybody in real life. I'm not a trained assassin, but I understand that love.
And then you have children and you're like, oh, I get it. Like I I can't imagine something I wouldn't do to protect my children. Right. Like I love them so fiercely. So then I read this script where this woman is literally taking people out to protect her child. I'm like, okay, well, I've never killed anybody in real life. I'm not a trained assassin, but I understand that love.
I understand that fierce motherhood, that mother instinct, that like I would do anything for you. And I understand making tough choices for your family that don't always feel good, but are the right thing to do. So I say, okay, I'm not a mercenary. I'm not a killer. I'm not a bi, but I do know a mother's love.
I understand that fierce motherhood, that mother instinct, that like I would do anything for you. And I understand making tough choices for your family that don't always feel good, but are the right thing to do. So I say, okay, I'm not a mercenary. I'm not a killer. I'm not a bi, but I do know a mother's love.
So the inside out is like, do I have the courage to reveal that kind of deep vulnerability that when you have a child, you become powerless? It's like that thing I've heard Obama say of like, your heart is suddenly on the outside of you walking around in the world. Like, can I let people into that and be that? And then the outside in is like,
So the inside out is like, do I have the courage to reveal that kind of deep vulnerability that when you have a child, you become powerless? It's like that thing I've heard Obama say of like, your heart is suddenly on the outside of you walking around in the world. Like, can I let people into that and be that? And then the outside in is like,
OK, but now I have to learn like fight training and weapons training and how she walks and how does she dress and, you know, how does she live in the world as somebody who's trained to kill people and what kind of person becomes somebody who kills people for a living? And so there are like all these.
OK, but now I have to learn like fight training and weapons training and how she walks and how does she dress and, you know, how does she live in the world as somebody who's trained to kill people and what kind of person becomes somebody who kills people for a living? And so there are like all these.
And I know a little something about that, too, like the desperation part of me of feeling like you don't have options. OK, so can I let people into that? So it's all it's like a like parts of me that do relate, bringing those forward and then parts of me that don't relate, learning how to add those on.
And I know a little something about that, too, like the desperation part of me of feeling like you don't have options. OK, so can I let people into that? So it's all it's like a like parts of me that do relate, bringing those forward and then parts of me that don't relate, learning how to add those on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sometimes. Yeah, absolutely. And sometimes it's really hard to shake at the end.
Sometimes. Yeah, absolutely. And sometimes it's really hard to shake at the end.
At night, you're like, you're feeling the adrenaline because you become that energy. Yes, you do. And I think before I got married and had kids, I was much more of like a method actor, meaning like I stayed in the characters all the time. For months? Yeah. Yes. And it was miserable, quite honestly. It's like really hard and really wrecked havoc on my nervous system.
At night, you're like, you're feeling the adrenaline because you become that energy. Yes, you do. And I think before I got married and had kids, I was much more of like a method actor, meaning like I stayed in the characters all the time. For months? Yeah. Yes. And it was miserable, quite honestly. It's like really hard and really wrecked havoc on my nervous system.
When I got married and had kids, I was like, I need to figure out how to put this down. Like, I don't want to bring this home. I want to be able to have a healthy life outside of work.
When I got married and had kids, I was like, I need to figure out how to put this down. Like, I don't want to bring this home. I want to be able to have a healthy life outside of work.
Some of it is ritual. Sometimes I really try to look at the hair and makeup process and the costume process as very ritualistic. And so when I'm taking the clothes off at the end of the day, I'm taking the character off at the end of the day. I just did a movie called... where I was playing, it's a movie directed by Ben Affleck and he, he and I are husband and wife.
Some of it is ritual. Sometimes I really try to look at the hair and makeup process and the costume process as very ritualistic. And so when I'm taking the clothes off at the end of the day, I'm taking the character off at the end of the day. I just did a movie called... where I was playing, it's a movie directed by Ben Affleck and he, he and I are husband and wife.
And so, you know, every day at work, I have to take off my wedding ring and I pin it to myself. I never not have it with me. So I always pin it to myself somewhere. When you're shooting, when you're filming. And then I have to take this other wedding ring, right? That belongs to the movie. And I have to put on this other wedding ring and now I'm in this marriage. So
And so, you know, every day at work, I have to take off my wedding ring and I pin it to myself. I never not have it with me. So I always pin it to myself somewhere. When you're shooting, when you're filming. And then I have to take this other wedding ring, right? That belongs to the movie. And I have to put on this other wedding ring and now I'm in this marriage. So
At the end of the day, it's really important to me to take off that wedding ring, take off that marriage, that's not my life, and put my own ring back on and step into my life.
At the end of the day, it's really important to me to take off that wedding ring, take off that marriage, that's not my life, and put my own ring back on and step into my life.
But I think it works in life too, right? Like when we give ourselves those rituals, like there's something, if you, when you have a meditation practice, like again, I can pray and meditate anywhere, but there is something different about when I sit on that pillow in that corner of my bedroom and light that candle, there's a different kind of drop in, right?
But I think it works in life too, right? Like when we give ourselves those rituals, like there's something, if you, when you have a meditation practice, like again, I can pray and meditate anywhere, but there is something different about when I sit on that pillow in that corner of my bedroom and light that candle, there's a different kind of drop in, right?
Like we have these cues that really allow us to signal to our body different realities and different ways of being present.
Like we have these cues that really allow us to signal to our body different realities and different ways of being present.
But the body doesn't know the difference.
But the body doesn't know the difference.
Of who you are. Yeah, and a lot of it is like being an athlete. You have to really take care. You have to make sure, because it wrecks havoc on your nervous system, The sleeping and the eating and the exercising, those practices are really, really important to maintain sanity. I remember after the second season of Scandal, I was like so depleted, so exhausted.
Of who you are. Yeah, and a lot of it is like being an athlete. You have to really take care. You have to make sure, because it wrecks havoc on your nervous system, The sleeping and the eating and the exercising, those practices are really, really important to maintain sanity. I remember after the second season of Scandal, I was like so depleted, so exhausted.
And I went to my doctor and we did some blood work and he was like, your adrenals are shot. what is going on? And I was like, what's going on? I play this woman who like every single episode, somebody walks into my office on the worst day of their life and I have to fix it.
And I went to my doctor and we did some blood work and he was like, your adrenals are shot. what is going on? And I was like, what's going on? I play this woman who like every single episode, somebody walks into my office on the worst day of their life and I have to fix it.
So my adrenals are shot, you know, or when we were doing a scene, some, you know, some crazy scene on scandal where somebody was lying on the floor of the office covered in blood and we're all like screaming and holding them. And I was pregnant at the time.
So my adrenals are shot, you know, or when we were doing a scene, some, you know, some crazy scene on scandal where somebody was lying on the floor of the office covered in blood and we're all like screaming and holding them. And I was pregnant at the time.
And so after every take, the other girls in the cast and myself, we would all put our hands on my belly and we would say, it's just pretend. It's just pretend. Wow. Because you just have to remember. And that little baby doesn't know the difference. That little baby is like, Her heart is beating fast. Her adrenals are her cortisol. Right.
And so after every take, the other girls in the cast and myself, we would all put our hands on my belly and we would say, it's just pretend. It's just pretend. Wow. Because you just have to remember. And that little baby doesn't know the difference. That little baby is like, Her heart is beating fast. Her adrenals are her cortisol. Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's right. It's a beautiful way to put it.
That's right. It's a beautiful way to put it.
So our mutual friend, Gabby Bernstein, who talks a lot about IFS work, that work has been transformational for me. And I just, I mean, I was familiar with IFS work and I'd done kind of inner child work with other therapists, but this year I really decided to make a pivot and do, to work with an IFS therapist. And it has been life-changing.
So our mutual friend, Gabby Bernstein, who talks a lot about IFS work, that work has been transformational for me. And I just, I mean, I was familiar with IFS work and I'd done kind of inner child work with other therapists, but this year I really decided to make a pivot and do, to work with an IFS therapist. And it has been life-changing.
It's so funny because in many ways I speak internal family systems language as an actor, right? Because I am always dealing with these different parts of myself and bringing them forward. So interesting. It's a really exciting way for me to understand the different parts of myself that still feel not enough on certain days or angry or resentful or afraid or IFS has really...
It's so funny because in many ways I speak internal family systems language as an actor, right? Because I am always dealing with these different parts of myself and bringing them forward. So interesting. It's a really exciting way for me to understand the different parts of myself that still feel not enough on certain days or angry or resentful or afraid or IFS has really...
helped me to not identify wholly with those stories when they come up, right? Like there's the story. Who's the part that's telling that story? How do I take care of that part and then move on? Right. But like, I don't have to give my entire existence over to that story.
helped me to not identify wholly with those stories when they come up, right? Like there's the story. Who's the part that's telling that story? How do I take care of that part and then move on? Right. But like, I don't have to give my entire existence over to that story.
that part and that message and that story i can kind of have some distance which is very you know sort of buddhist and but like to have some distance from the thought and to say like i see you i understand where that belief system is coming from but it doesn't have to be the truth it's like i remember when i was like just starting therapy and i had this therapist who would say like how do you feel and i was like oh i just feel really fat and she was like fat is not a feeling and
that part and that message and that story i can kind of have some distance which is very you know sort of buddhist and but like to have some distance from the thought and to say like i see you i understand where that belief system is coming from but it doesn't have to be the truth it's like i remember when i was like just starting therapy and i had this therapist who would say like how do you feel and i was like oh i just feel really fat and she was like fat is not a feeling and
I was like, it's not like, because also I had grown up in a house where people would, where my mom, I heard my mom say like, I feel fat. And I, it was like a, she was like, what's underneath the feeling fat? Is it anger? Is it sadness? It's different.
I was like, it's not like, because also I had grown up in a house where people would, where my mom, I heard my mom say like, I feel fat. And I, it was like a, she was like, what's underneath the feeling fat? Is it anger? Is it sadness? It's different.
I think for me, feeling fat was often like just a, it was like a, a crutch that I went to that would prevent me from getting to that next feeling underneath. I would make it about the body and not being enough as opposed to diving deeper into like, what is the feeling that needs to be addressed here?
I think for me, feeling fat was often like just a, it was like a, a crutch that I went to that would prevent me from getting to that next feeling underneath. I would make it about the body and not being enough as opposed to diving deeper into like, what is the feeling that needs to be addressed here?
Really?
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It happens, yeah. I don't live there. I mean, that's the great thing is that I don't live there, but I don't want to pretend that the thought doesn't come up. Sure. Because I'm really proud to have tools, to have tools and support systems that have helped me figure out what to do with the thought when it comes up or how to embrace it.
It happens, yeah. I don't live there. I mean, that's the great thing is that I don't live there, but I don't want to pretend that the thought doesn't come up. Sure. Because I'm really proud to have tools, to have tools and support systems that have helped me figure out what to do with the thought when it comes up or how to embrace it.
I think it all goes back to spirit. I think it all goes back to like, am I loved by source, right? Like, am I lovable by God? Because when we don't feel lovable enough,
I think it all goes back to spirit. I think it all goes back to like, am I loved by source, right? Like, am I lovable by God? Because when we don't feel lovable enough,
in ourselves in a spiritual way, then we need it externally from other people, whether that's in a relationship or from fans or from an employer or an employee or like whatever that looks like, but seeking that approval and love and acceptance and belonging externally is usually because I don't feel like I'm in alignment with the fact that I am loved, that I am loved and okay just as I am.
in ourselves in a spiritual way, then we need it externally from other people, whether that's in a relationship or from fans or from an employer or an employee or like whatever that looks like, but seeking that approval and love and acceptance and belonging externally is usually because I don't feel like I'm in alignment with the fact that I am loved, that I am loved and okay just as I am.
Because I think that's where the idea that I have to be somebody other than who I am, forgetting that who I am as I am is enough. I'm good. I am. But when we forget that, we're like, oh, I have to be something else. I have to be better. I have to be stronger. I have to be more successful. I have to be thinner, prettier, smarter, whatever it is. As opposed to like, I am good. I am blessed.
Because I think that's where the idea that I have to be somebody other than who I am, forgetting that who I am as I am is enough. I'm good. I am. But when we forget that, we're like, oh, I have to be something else. I have to be better. I have to be stronger. I have to be more successful. I have to be thinner, prettier, smarter, whatever it is. As opposed to like, I am good. I am blessed.
I am loved. And I'm on a journey of excellence. So I'm willing to be bigger, better, smarter, more successful. But I don't have to be to earn anybody's love. That's beautiful. That's on a good day. Yeah.
I am loved. And I'm on a journey of excellence. So I'm willing to be bigger, better, smarter, more successful. But I don't have to be to earn anybody's love. That's beautiful. That's on a good day. Yeah.
May 9th, Mother's Day weekend.
May 9th, Mother's Day weekend.
Celebrate all your bad moms and uplift all your bad dads.
Celebrate all your bad moms and uplift all your bad dads.
Power of parenting.
Power of parenting.
Yes. Yes. You can be.
Yes. Yes. You can be.
No matter who you are, you are enough, the truth is easier, even though it feels harder at times. And that there is true, true strength in vulnerability. There is no way to get strong without being willing to be vulnerable.
No matter who you are, you are enough, the truth is easier, even though it feels harder at times. And that there is true, true strength in vulnerability. There is no way to get strong without being willing to be vulnerable.
I love this because normally people ask you to give advice to your younger self, but this is really great to project forward.
I love this because normally people ask you to give advice to your younger self, but this is really great to project forward.
I think she would tell me to cherish every moment with the people I love most. You know, like to really When you're with people that you love and or doing things that you love, be fully present. Yes. Because you're not going to get that back.
I think she would tell me to cherish every moment with the people I love most. You know, like to really When you're with people that you love and or doing things that you love, be fully present. Yes. Because you're not going to get that back.
And I think about like, oh, my God, in 10 years, my kids, like when I think about how old they'll be in 10 years, you're like, oh, I need to be in this moment. And like, what things will I be complaining about in my body in 10 years? Like be in this body in joy, right? Like just like really appreciate. It reminds me of, I went to this incredible film festival at San Quentin prison.
And I think about like, oh, my God, in 10 years, my kids, like when I think about how old they'll be in 10 years, you're like, oh, I need to be in this moment. And like, what things will I be complaining about in my body in 10 years? Like be in this body in joy, right? Like just like really appreciate. It reminds me of, I went to this incredible film festival at San Quentin prison.
We have a, my company Simpson Street, we had a documentary called Daughters on Netflix. That's really powerful documentary about dads who are incarcerated and how they learn to be, obviously this is a recurring theme for me, right? Like dads and parenting. And so it's about these amazing dads who they do a father-daughter dance in prison where they get to take off their jumpsuits.
We have a, my company Simpson Street, we had a documentary called Daughters on Netflix. That's really powerful documentary about dads who are incarcerated and how they learn to be, obviously this is a recurring theme for me, right? Like dads and parenting. And so it's about these amazing dads who they do a father-daughter dance in prison where they get to take off their jumpsuits.
And it's a really, really powerful documentary. Oh my gosh. Say Quentin did their first annual film festival in the prison where people brought outside content into the prison, but also prisoners made films that were shown at the festival. It was really powerful. And it was a spectacular day. That warden is really progressive. It's a really special place.
And it's a really, really powerful documentary. Oh my gosh. Say Quentin did their first annual film festival in the prison where people brought outside content into the prison, but also prisoners made films that were shown at the festival. It was really powerful. And it was a spectacular day. That warden is really progressive. It's a really special place.
But as I was leaving, there's like this big line on the ground. I don't remember whether it was yellow or white. It was kind of faded, you know, worn down, but... As you're saying bye, you're saying bye to the prisoners and thank you. And they were giving you tours and showing you their artwork and just like so much love. And then I crossed over that line and, um, and they can't.
But as I was leaving, there's like this big line on the ground. I don't remember whether it was yellow or white. It was kind of faded, you know, worn down, but... As you're saying bye, you're saying bye to the prisoners and thank you. And they were giving you tours and showing you their artwork and just like so much love. And then I crossed over that line and, um, and they can't.
Like they can't cross over that line. And everybody's in like a good spirit and there's so much love, good vibes. It's a film festival. But one of them accidentally gets close to the line and one of the guards is like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. And on the way home, I was thinking, you know, when I woke up this morning, I wasn't grateful for the places I can go.
Like they can't cross over that line. And everybody's in like a good spirit and there's so much love, good vibes. It's a film festival. But one of them accidentally gets close to the line and one of the guards is like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. And on the way home, I was thinking, you know, when I woke up this morning, I wasn't grateful for the places I can go.
I wasn't thinking about hugging my husband first thing in the morning. I wasn't thinking about my freedom and my liberty. But when you're faced with the possibility of not having it, the value skyrockets, right?
I wasn't thinking about hugging my husband first thing in the morning. I wasn't thinking about my freedom and my liberty. But when you're faced with the possibility of not having it, the value skyrockets, right?
I stepped over that line with this huge increased gratitude for my liberty, for my freedom, for my ability to go home and hug my husband, for my ability to listen to whatever music I want and wear whatever I want. Suddenly you get reminded of what to be grateful for. So I feel like that question is an invitation into that kind of gratitude, right?
I stepped over that line with this huge increased gratitude for my liberty, for my freedom, for my ability to go home and hug my husband, for my ability to listen to whatever music I want and wear whatever I want. Suddenly you get reminded of what to be grateful for. So I feel like that question is an invitation into that kind of gratitude, right?
It's like, who knows where we'll be 10 years from now, but today there's some really good stuff happening. So don't let it slip by you.
It's like, who knows where we'll be 10 years from now, but today there's some really good stuff happening. So don't let it slip by you.
I'm so grateful. And I just, I wanna say, one of the things we say at Simpson Street is, You know, we believe that every single person is the lead character in the story of their lives. And so I love that you, with this work, I feel like you really encourage people to live that way. You encourage people to place themselves at the center of their journey and be the star of their own story.
I'm so grateful. And I just, I wanna say, one of the things we say at Simpson Street is, You know, we believe that every single person is the lead character in the story of their lives. And so I love that you, with this work, I feel like you really encourage people to live that way. You encourage people to place themselves at the center of their journey and be the star of their own story.
So thank you for that.
So thank you for that.
Offering up the best of what you have moment to moment. Yeah. It's like, if it's the best, if you're giving the best of what you have, then that's what today's greatness looks like.
Offering up the best of what you have moment to moment. Yeah. It's like, if it's the best, if you're giving the best of what you have, then that's what today's greatness looks like.
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much.