Kam Patterson

My first job was at Foot Locker.

My first job was at Foot Locker.

Yeah, first job was at Foot Locker. I went every single day.

Yeah, first job was at Foot Locker. I went every single day.

Right behind my mom's house, yeah.

Right behind my mom's house, yeah.

Yeah, I was playing sports.

Yeah, I was playing sports.

Well, no, my senior year, I did play a full season.

Well, no, my senior year, I did play a full season.

I was on the team. My coach told me, he said, nigga, you here for team morale. Your coach said that? Yeah, that's when I was like, oh, yeah, I'm not going to play this shit in college, nigga. Can't keep up the jokes, all right?

I was on the team. My coach told me, he said, nigga, you here for team morale. Your coach said that? Yeah, that's when I was like, oh, yeah, I'm not going to play this shit in college, nigga. Can't keep up the jokes, all right?

It was the best, man. That's why I do comedy. Yeah? Why? Because I would always tell stories from my basketball, from, like, basketball to my, like, coworkers. And they would always be like, nigga, you're fucking funny. Okay. You should do stand up. And so that was that's the reason I do stand up. There you go.

It was the best, man. That's why I do comedy. Yeah? Why? Because I would always tell stories from my basketball, from, like, basketball to my, like, coworkers. And they would always be like, nigga, you're fucking funny. Okay. You should do stand up. And so that was that's the reason I do stand up. There you go.

So we like it was like.

So we like it was like.

Yeah, nobody would come in. So if somebody did come in, it's like, why the fuck are you here? You fucking up my date.

Yeah, nobody would come in. So if somebody did come in, it's like, why the fuck are you here? You fucking up my date.

I do that everywhere I go. Turn around, he's in the backyard. Like, what the fuck, man?

I do that everywhere I go. Turn around, he's in the backyard. Like, what the fuck, man?

I've been crushing all day, man. I got steady dumb ass shoes.

I've been crushing all day, man. I got steady dumb ass shoes.

Yeah, let me tell you something.

Yeah, let me tell you something.

So I fucked most of the girls in the mall.

So I fucked most of the girls in the mall.

Man, hey, look, though, real talk. Man, I fucked all up and down that mall. Before I even know my manager was cool, there was a girl that worked at the Jimmy J's. She tried to fuck me before the store opened. And I didn't know. I was like, there's cameras and shit in here, and I don't know my manager like that. I don't know my manager like that.

Man, hey, look, though, real talk. Man, I fucked all up and down that mall. Before I even know my manager was cool, there was a girl that worked at the Jimmy J's. She tried to fuck me before the store opened. And I didn't know. I was like, there's cameras and shit in here, and I don't know my manager like that. I don't know my manager like that.

I was like, yo, the girl at Jimmy J's wanted to fuck me in the store. And they were like, why the fuck didn't you do it? Them cameras don't work, nigga. You should have did it. But after that, I was fucking all up and through that stuff. Like, man, I fucked in the bathroom behind the mall. It was an abandoned part of the mall. I was fucking in there at the JCPenney's and just shut down.

I was like, yo, the girl at Jimmy J's wanted to fuck me in the store. And they were like, why the fuck didn't you do it? Them cameras don't work, nigga. You should have did it. But after that, I was fucking all up and through that stuff. Like, man, I fucked in the bathroom behind the mall. It was an abandoned part of the mall. I was fucking in there at the JCPenney's and just shut down.

I was going fucking hell.

I was going fucking hell.

In the changing stall.

In the changing stall.

Jesus Christ. And that shit closed now, too.

Jesus Christ. And that shit closed now, too.

Holy shit. But then, oh, we had guys. So I never really stole them for locker. My brother had a homeboy that used to, oh, he got... He got, like, big trouble stealing the finish line when it was 10. So I was always like, man, I'm not going to do no shit like that. But we had got a – when I became a manager, which was a terrible – Holy shit.

Holy shit. But then, oh, we had guys. So I never really stole them for locker. My brother had a homeboy that used to, oh, he got... He got, like, big trouble stealing the finish line when it was 10. So I was always like, man, I'm not going to do no shit like that. But we had got a – when I became a manager, which was a terrible – Holy shit.

What the fuck? Wait, yeah, I was 18 because I was the only one that showed up to work.

What the fuck? Wait, yeah, I was 18 because I was the only one that showed up to work.

I lived behind the mall and shit. So they were like, even if anything, cameras just show up. Because you got to understand, like, I feel like I got, like, a hiring system. Back then where it was like oh you got to get a score more off like oh, let's say the score is like you got to get past 600 if you get past 100 like you got a 670 you could be like a manager.

I lived behind the mall and shit. So they were like, even if anything, cameras just show up. Because you got to understand, like, I feel like I got, like, a hiring system. Back then where it was like oh you got to get a score more off like oh, let's say the score is like you got to get past 600 if you get past 100 like you got a 670 you could be like a manager.

We know a little. Give us the whole story.

We know a little. Give us the whole story.

I

I

I'm like, what kind of question is that? Who would ask something like that?

I'm like, what kind of question is that? Who would ask something like that?

Florida kid. West Orlando, born and raised. Okay.

Florida kid. West Orlando, born and raised. Okay.

I would do the sales report. I would have to write an email, but I'm not email trained, so I'm like, what's up?

I would do the sales report. I would have to write an email, but I'm not email trained, so I'm like, what's up?

What's good, fam?

What's good, fam?

We sold so many Air Force today. Black was going to like to steal. What year is this? This was 2019.

We sold so many Air Force today. Black was going to like to steal. What year is this? This was 2019.

That's nuts, dude. Yeah. But I was so, the funniest shit, so I'm a manager, right? But the last manager that we had who work at Champs now, this nigga didn't know how to open the safe to put the money in that night. And then so when they got to me, obviously my test went good. I'm not the brightest nigga in the world. So they were like, if that guy couldn't do it.

That's nuts, dude. Yeah. But I was so, the funniest shit, so I'm a manager, right? But the last manager that we had who work at Champs now, this nigga didn't know how to open the safe to put the money in that night. And then so when they got to me, obviously my test went good. I'm not the brightest nigga in the world. So they were like, if that guy couldn't do it.

Yes, sir. The west side, dude.

Yes, sir. The west side, dude.

Cam damn shit can't close no fucking safe. So they never, when I would close a night, they never taught me the code to the safe.

Cam damn shit can't close no fucking safe. So they never, when I would close a night, they never taught me the code to the safe.

So one night.

So one night.

But we never, we never like, but the money was, it would just be open. So one night it was a string of like a, in Florida it was crazy. It was a string of footlocker robberies. I swear to God, I'm not lying to y'all. There was a string of Foot Locker robberies where they would break in through the back door. So there was a store next to it that was open.

But we never, we never like, but the money was, it would just be open. So one night it was a string of like a, in Florida it was crazy. It was a string of footlocker robberies. I swear to God, I'm not lying to y'all. There was a string of Foot Locker robberies where they would break in through the back door. So there was a store next to it that was open.

Well, the west side is more like black people. On the east side, we got a lot of Spanish shit like that.

Well, the west side is more like black people. On the east side, we got a lot of Spanish shit like that.

So they broke in through that store and stole so many shoes from us, like a lot. The next morning we got there, we realized that they had broke in and stole all the shoes and shit. And so it was a big investigation. And the later that came in,

So they broke in through that store and stole so many shoes from us, like a lot. The next morning we got there, we realized that they had broke in and stole all the shoes and shit. And so it was a big investigation. And the later that came in,

thought I had did it cause I closed the night before and I didn't lock the safe and then we couldn't tell her that we never locked the safe cause I didn't think I could lock the safe so I had to learn the safe code that day and then do all this extra shit and then she sat me down had a conversation with me she had like a real deal like long talk with me older black lady and she was like so what are you she tried to get me to go to the army really

thought I had did it cause I closed the night before and I didn't lock the safe and then we couldn't tell her that we never locked the safe cause I didn't think I could lock the safe so I had to learn the safe code that day and then do all this extra shit and then she sat me down had a conversation with me she had like a real deal like long talk with me older black lady and she was like so what are you she tried to get me to go to the army really

She was like, you should go to the army because like this, this is the cop investigating the burglary. They brought like an investigator, like a real investigator. And she was like an army. She OK, talking to me. And then little did I find out that she told my man, she was like, why would you hire him? He's like got a 610 on the test. She called me and I quote, she called me emotionally retarded.

She was like, you should go to the army because like this, this is the cop investigating the burglary. They brought like an investigator, like a real investigator. And she was like an army. She OK, talking to me. And then little did I find out that she told my man, she was like, why would you hire him? He's like got a 610 on the test. She called me and I quote, she called me emotionally retarded.

She was like, why would you hide this, man? He's emotionally retarded. He should not be working at Foot Locker. This is insane. And, yeah, fuck that bitch.

She was like, why would you hide this, man? He's emotionally retarded. He should not be working at Foot Locker. This is insane. And, yeah, fuck that bitch.

Well, the east side kind of over there. The best way I can explain the east side is I didn't know UCF was on the east side of Orlando.

Well, the east side kind of over there. The best way I can explain the east side is I didn't know UCF was on the east side of Orlando.

I was scared, but the funny thing about her, too, she told my manager, she said, he said, so do you think he did it? And she was like, there's no way he could have pulled this off. Shut up.

I was scared, but the funny thing about her, too, she told my manager, she said, he said, so do you think he did it? And she was like, there's no way he could have pulled this off. Shut up.

She's like, there's no way he could have did this.

She's like, there's no way he could have did this.

And then they came and robbed us again like a year later. Damn. Yeah, it was crazy. That's nuts. Yeah, then I got fired for cussing at my manager. I got a new manager and I cuss that bitch to smithereens.

And then they came and robbed us again like a year later. Damn. Yeah, it was crazy. That's nuts. Yeah, then I got fired for cussing at my manager. I got a new manager and I cuss that bitch to smithereens.

She called me her special child one time and I cussed that bitch to filth.

She called me her special child one time and I cussed that bitch to filth.

Because we would go back and forth, like Slash would be cool and they wouldn't be cool. But she was like, you my special child, you know you need a little extra help. And I'm like, bitch, I swear to God. Call me special again, or there'll be some smoke in this fucking city. I cut that bitch a smithereen. Fuck that lady. And then you know what's crazy? I started working at Publix after that.

Because we would go back and forth, like Slash would be cool and they wouldn't be cool. But she was like, you my special child, you know you need a little extra help. And I'm like, bitch, I swear to God. Call me special again, or there'll be some smoke in this fucking city. I cut that bitch a smithereen. Fuck that lady. And then you know what's crazy? I started working at Publix after that.

I didn't know UCF was in Orlando until I graduated high school. So that's a big difference between the east side and the west side.

I didn't know UCF was in Orlando until I graduated high school. So that's a big difference between the east side and the west side.

At first I was on the cashier and they was like, you can't do this. I had a joke about this at one point where I would always be like, I'll have a good day, my nigga. And they'd be like, Cam, you gotta stop.

At first I was on the cashier and they was like, you can't do this. I had a joke about this at one point where I would always be like, I'll have a good day, my nigga. And they'd be like, Cam, you gotta stop.

So they're like, no, we gotta put him in the back of the house.

So they're like, no, we gotta put him in the back of the house.

So I started stalking Shell, but then she started working at Publix with me.

So I started stalking Shell, but then she started working at Publix with me.

My old manager.

My old manager.

No, she was just like me at Publix.

No, she was just like me at Publix.

You were beautiful as shit.

You were beautiful as shit.

I hated that hoe. She cool now though, but I hated her. She's cool now. Shout out Latoya though. She the one gave me the job at Publix.

I hated that hoe. She cool now though, but I hated her. She's cool now. Shout out Latoya though. She the one gave me the job at Publix.

I started doing comedy at Publix.

I started doing comedy at Publix.

Yeah, yeah. I worked at a golf course when I got here.

Yeah, yeah. I worked at a golf course when I got here.

My homeboy White can't work at a golf course. When I came here, he was like, I'll get you a job at a golf course. You want to move? I said, hell yeah.

My homeboy White can't work at a golf course. When I came here, he was like, I'll get you a job at a golf course. You want to move? I said, hell yeah.

I was a little caddy dude.

I was a little caddy dude.

I clean your clothes when you get back.

I clean your clothes when you get back.

I was terrible at it. Really? I was good at listening though. So I didn't know, like, none of the... I don't know shit about golf. But to get tips, you got to talk to them when they got the court and shit. Sure. So everybody would be like, yeah, so, like, how was the back nine? So I'd just be saying shit like that.

I was terrible at it. Really? I was good at listening though. So I didn't know, like, none of the... I don't know shit about golf. But to get tips, you got to talk to them when they got the court and shit. Sure. So everybody would be like, yeah, so, like, how was the back nine? So I'd just be saying shit like that.

I'd just be like, the back nine was great, right? That's awesome. I loved the back nine.

I'd just be like, the back nine was great, right? That's awesome. I loved the back nine.

I thought, like, our graduation was at UCF. I thought we was going out of town. Really?

I thought, like, our graduation was at UCF. I thought we was going out of town. Really?

I was at Publix at...

I was at Publix at...

Yeah, I would do, so I did, I would do the Funny Bones, the improv there was Funny Bones.

Yeah, I would do, so I did, I would do the Funny Bones, the improv there was Funny Bones.

I would do that. And then we only had one club, so I would go to Tampa a lot.

I would do that. And then we only had one club, so I would go to Tampa a lot.

and do it like it's a smaller trap house called the gimmick okay i would do that a lot and then uh i was so the best name about lando was like you in the middle she's in the middle of florida i was all over i was in jacksonville and tampa i was i was everywhere but no big traveling like you weren't going to like the funny bone in like syracuse or whatever just local regional stuff so you do it down there for a few years then you move here and then you kill tony you blow up yes sir i got what's the what was the car when you were running around what was your first car

and do it like it's a smaller trap house called the gimmick okay i would do that a lot and then uh i was so the best name about lando was like you in the middle she's in the middle of florida i was all over i was in jacksonville and tampa i was i was everywhere but no big traveling like you weren't going to like the funny bone in like syracuse or whatever just local regional stuff so you do it down there for a few years then you move here and then you kill tony you blow up yes sir i got what's the what was the car when you were running around what was your first car

My first car, my mama got me a Honda Elantra.

My first car, my mama got me a Honda Elantra.

A Honda Elantra. Yeah, yeah. She drove it until she paid it off, and then she gave it to me.

A Honda Elantra. Yeah, yeah. She drove it until she paid it off, and then she gave it to me.

Crashed it to the back of four people. Why? So I was driving on this road going to a mic, which is crazy. I was going to a mic, and it was a dude I seen that I know. So I said, I was saying something, talking about fucking around with him and shit. And the light was green, but nobody was going because it was like a little hold up. And I slammed the back of the light, four people.

Crashed it to the back of four people. Why? So I was driving on this road going to a mic, which is crazy. I was going to a mic, and it was a dude I seen that I know. So I said, I was saying something, talking about fucking around with him and shit. And the light was green, but nobody was going because it was like a little hold up. And I slammed the back of the light, four people.

They were pretty bad. And then, so, after that happened, I didn't have a car. I didn't have a car, no longer had a car. But, so when I, I was living with my dad at the time. I was staying with my dad, like, full time and shit. I was on his couch when I started doing stand-up. And I was like, like, I was like, man, fuck the car. Like, fuck everything that just happened.

They were pretty bad. And then, so, after that happened, I didn't have a car. I didn't have a car, no longer had a car. But, so when I, I was living with my dad at the time. I was staying with my dad, like, full time and shit. I was on his couch when I started doing stand-up. And I was like, like, I was like, man, fuck the car. Like, fuck everything that just happened.

How I'm gonna get to these open mics?

How I'm gonna get to these open mics?

I need a way to get to these open mics. I just started doing stand-up, like, every day when I, like, This is probably like my third week doing stand-up every day. And then I crashed the car. And so I was like, pops, how am I going to get the open mics? He was like, nigga, I got a car. So my dad had like this old ass, this fucked up Jeep. And so I worked on it. I was going to work during the day.

I need a way to get to these open mics. I just started doing stand-up, like, every day when I, like, This is probably like my third week doing stand-up every day. And then I crashed the car. And so I was like, pops, how am I going to get the open mics? He was like, nigga, I got a car. So my dad had like this old ass, this fucked up Jeep. And so I worked on it. I was going to work during the day.

What? Where the fuck are we going, man?

What? Where the fuck are we going, man?

And he had a car doing his shit, doing his little activities and shit.

And he had a car doing his shit, doing his little activities and shit.

And then at night, I would use the car.

And then at night, I would use the car.

He would do shit. He would contract. Whatever the fuck he do outside.

He would do shit. He would contract. Whatever the fuck he do outside.

His office on the porch, nigga. He don't have a, you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm not finna be like, this nigga the best contractor in the world. No fucking way, man. His office is on the porch. So it's like, he was doing activities and shit day to day. And then I would, I would take the car at night and do mics for me and my dad share the car. And then one day, My uncle, he's a crack kid.

His office on the porch, nigga. He don't have a, you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm not finna be like, this nigga the best contractor in the world. No fucking way, man. His office is on the porch. So it's like, he was doing activities and shit day to day. And then I would, I would take the car at night and do mics for me and my dad share the car. And then one day, My uncle, he's a crack kid.

He stole the car and sold it for crack. And then we had like a couple other cars that I moved off.

He stole the car and sold it for crack. And then we had like a couple other cars that I moved off.

Well, I think it was like a rented situation. He was trying to rent it to somebody for some crack. And they never gave it back.

Well, I think it was like a rented situation. He was trying to rent it to somebody for some crack. And they never gave it back.

I grew up with my parents. It was split custody. Okay. So my mom stayed in the suburbs. My dad stayed kind of in the hood.

I grew up with my parents. It was split custody. Okay. So my mom stayed in the suburbs. My dad stayed kind of in the hood.

Everyone you pass, you're looking to be like, is that it? I had just started making merch and shit, like t-shirts and shit. And I had, like, I had, so I wear slides everywhere I go. Now I wear shoes sometimes. But I had, like, I had, like, these orange foam pods. And then we tracked the car down to where the last location it was at.

Everyone you pass, you're looking to be like, is that it? I had just started making merch and shit, like t-shirts and shit. And I had, like, I had, so I wear slides everywhere I go. Now I wear shoes sometimes. But I had, like, I had, like, these orange foam pods. And then we tracked the car down to where the last location it was at.

No, it was just... We were talking to people.

No, it was just... We were talking to people.

But we didn't find the car.

But we didn't find the car.

We got there, though.

We got there, though.

We found the house, and my little cousin was over the fence, and all my merch was in the backyard.

We found the house, and my little cousin was over the fence, and all my merch was in the backyard.

But the car wasn't there. Did you get the merch or no? Nah, we didn't get the merch. They got some real one-on-ones. Some shit I don't even make no more. So you got that shit, please, fuck nigga.

But the car wasn't there. Did you get the merch or no? Nah, we didn't get the merch. They got some real one-on-ones. Some shit I don't even make no more. So you got that shit, please, fuck nigga.

My uncle, he was like, he was really fucked up. He told my stepbrother, he said, listen, either you gonna leave me alone by this goddamn car or I'm telling that nigga where y'all live. I was like, hey, wait a minute.

My uncle, he was like, he was really fucked up. He told my stepbrother, he said, listen, either you gonna leave me alone by this goddamn car or I'm telling that nigga where y'all live. I was like, hey, wait a minute.

So I would go back and forth. My mom would work on, she a flight attendant. Okay. So she would work mostly like through the week, through the weekday, she'd be back on the weekends. But I would go to, no, I'd go to my dad's house on the weekend.

So I would go back and forth. My mom would work on, she a flight attendant. Okay. So she would work mostly like through the week, through the weekday, she'd be back on the weekends. But I would go to, no, I'd go to my dad's house on the weekend.

Wait a minute, he's lost his fucking mind, bro.

Wait a minute, he's lost his fucking mind, bro.

I was staying with my dog, White Cam. Staying with who? My dog, White Cam. So his name's Cameron, too.

I was staying with my dog, White Cam. Staying with who? My dog, White Cam. So his name's Cameron, too.

But he white. He's White Cam. And when I got here, I was like, I'm Cameron now.

But he white. He's White Cam. And when I got here, I was like, I'm Cameron now.

And so I'm a dog, White Cam. Shout out, White Cam. Cam is my dog. Yeah, yeah.

And so I'm a dog, White Cam. Shout out, White Cam. Cam is my dog. Yeah, yeah.

First concert? I went to Chance the Rapper.

First concert? I went to Chance the Rapper.

Hell yeah.

Hell yeah.

Yeah, he was doing like a real estate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me and my cousin was big fans of Chance the Rapper. Mama got us tickets for my birthday. Very good. We got to go out there and see him, which was super dope because I did a show when... I did a show in Chicago at the Zanies.

Yeah, he was doing like a real estate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me and my cousin was big fans of Chance the Rapper. Mama got us tickets for my birthday. Very good. We got to go out there and see him, which was super dope because I did a show when... I did a show in Chicago at the Zanies.

And Hannibal Byrds pulled up.

And Hannibal Byrds pulled up.

And then Chance came.

And then Chance came.

And that shit was like a real, like, that was one of the coolest moments of my life, dog. That's awesome. You telling me it was your first concert? I never, I never, I was so, I was just like, nigga, you Chance the fucking rapper, nigga. So I never got to be like, nigga, you know, you understand, nigga, I love you, dog, like, you're my favorite. Like, I was, I was so, like, stuck, bro.

And that shit was like a real, like, that was one of the coolest moments of my life, dog. That's awesome. You telling me it was your first concert? I never, I never, I was so, I was just like, nigga, you Chance the fucking rapper, nigga. So I never got to be like, nigga, you know, you understand, nigga, I love you, dog, like, you're my favorite. Like, I was, I was so, like, stuck, bro.

That's funny. You feel me? But yeah, my first concert was Chance the rapper.

That's funny. You feel me? But yeah, my first concert was Chance the rapper.

Really?

Really?

The checks now were crazy, bro. I remember my first big check was like $4,000.

The checks now were crazy, bro. I remember my first big check was like $4,000.

And my whole family, I think something happened. My whole family was at my grandma's house, and I just had a check in my wallet, and I was just showing my car like, you don't even understand this shit. This is for words, pussy. It's all dick jokes, nigga. They're just saying dick. They gave me $4,000. I was selling nickel bags, nigga.

And my whole family, I think something happened. My whole family was at my grandma's house, and I just had a check in my wallet, and I was just showing my car like, you don't even understand this shit. This is for words, pussy. It's all dick jokes, nigga. They're just saying dick. They gave me $4,000. I was selling nickel bags, nigga.

Shit like that. He's a con man. What's McCartney's? He's a contractor.

Shit like that. He's a con man. What's McCartney's? He's a contractor.

I'm going to ask you. They gave me $4,000. I was so... My mom was like, you got to stop doing that.

I'm going to ask you. They gave me $4,000. I was so... My mom was like, you got to stop doing that.

Your cousins are going to fuck you up.

Your cousins are going to fuck you up.

She's like, you owe me $4,000.

She's like, you owe me $4,000.

No, really. I'm finna get a better car, but not.

No, really. I'm finna get a better car, but not.

What's out front? I'm driving a 2003 Acura. It's overheating right now, and I got a police intercom on it.

What's out front? I'm driving a 2003 Acura. It's overheating right now, and I got a police intercom on it.

Yeah, I bought that, yeah.

Yeah, I bought that, yeah.

So it's $4,000.

So it's $4,000.

Yeah, it's $4,000, man. I got that check. God, this is my first car I ever bought by myself. No shit.

Yeah, it's $4,000, man. I got that check. God, this is my first car I ever bought by myself. No shit.

No, no, no, no. I had to pay some debt off a little bit.

No, no, no, no. I had to pay some debt off a little bit.

Real shit. But that bitch is terrible now.

Real shit. But that bitch is terrible now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now it's just terrible. Just bought that here just to get around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But on the way here, it was overheating. I was like, God damn, this bitch fucking up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now it's just terrible. Just bought that here just to get around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But on the way here, it was overheating. I was like, God damn, this bitch fucking up.

Yeah, I'm probably going to get some nice. That's probably what I'm going to get.

Yeah, I'm probably going to get some nice. That's probably what I'm going to get.

I want to get a Cadillac Blackwing. What's a Blackwing? It's just a Hellcat in a suit.

I want to get a Cadillac Blackwing. What's a Blackwing? It's just a Hellcat in a suit.

That'd be a five. That's probably my first big purchase. I got an apartment and shit, but I don't really. I buy a lot of Cologne.

That'd be a five. That's probably my first big purchase. I got an apartment and shit, but I don't really. I buy a lot of Cologne.

Yeah, I buy a lot of cologne. What do you like? Shit, whatever they got. Really? Yeah, my cousin. My cousin like my mom. He like my big brother, my cousin Justin. Uh-huh. So like, that nigga love cologne. He got me a tour. And I just, he be like, look at this shit. And I be like, I bought it already. So you'll go into the store, you'll try some stuff on, that kind of stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I buy a lot of cologne. What do you like? Shit, whatever they got. Really? Yeah, my cousin. My cousin like my mom. He like my big brother, my cousin Justin. Uh-huh. So like, that nigga love cologne. He got me a tour. And I just, he be like, look at this shit. And I be like, I bought it already. So you'll go into the store, you'll try some stuff on, that kind of stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's probably like the biggest. And I do like a lot of my family and shit.

That's probably like the biggest. And I do like a lot of my family and shit.

Ain't bad.

Ain't bad.

Yeah, yeah. I got a queen size bed. I wanted to put it on the floor. I wanted to keep it on the floor. But then I was like, I got to get up.

Yeah, yeah. I got a queen size bed. I wanted to put it on the floor. I wanted to keep it on the floor. But then I was like, I got to get up.

I wanted to keep that bitch on the floor, though. Sure. Sure.

I wanted to keep that bitch on the floor, though. Sure. Sure.

It's been weird for me. If I'm doing something, I like to do it every single day. With basketball, we would have breaks from basketball and we'd be like a week off. When I come back, I'd just be so ass. You gotta stay on it. Taking breaks always scared me. You like staying sharp. I'm not a vacation type dude.

It's been weird for me. If I'm doing something, I like to do it every single day. With basketball, we would have breaks from basketball and we'd be like a week off. When I come back, I'd just be so ass. You gotta stay on it. Taking breaks always scared me. You like staying sharp. I'm not a vacation type dude.

We can do it. We'll figure it out.

We can do it. We'll figure it out.

Somebody gave me one, yeah.

Somebody gave me one, yeah.

Somebody gave me one. Somebody was like, it's a present for you. And I was like, this is insane. Was it a switchblade or a butterfly knife? I think it was a switchblade.

Somebody gave me one. Somebody was like, it's a present for you. And I was like, this is insane. Was it a switchblade or a butterfly knife? I think it was a switchblade.

Yeah, get rid of that thing.

Yeah, get rid of that thing.

Man, so Publix was so like... When I started working at Publix, it was like a brief extent when I was like really like just outside doing a bunch of wild ass shit. And I was staying at my dad's house. And my stepmom was like, you got to get a job, nigga. So... I was, I started like, I say nigga bad, but I was booming for a second.

Man, so Publix was so like... When I started working at Publix, it was like a brief extent when I was like really like just outside doing a bunch of wild ass shit. And I was staying at my dad's house. And my stepmom was like, you got to get a job, nigga. So... I was, I started like, I say nigga bad, but I was booming for a second.

I respect that.

I respect that.

Sure. Hell yeah.

Sure. Hell yeah.

Like I was saying, for like three, four months, nigga, I was booming. Then I was like, my phone getting, it started, I was telling somebody that started the other day, I was like, my phone started ringing in the rain, like when I was really outside for real, and I had to choose, like either you gonna do this stand-up shit, or you gonna sell drugs.

Like I was saying, for like three, four months, nigga, I was booming. Then I was like, my phone getting, it started, I was telling somebody that started the other day, I was like, my phone started ringing in the rain, like when I was really outside for real, and I had to choose, like either you gonna do this stand-up shit, or you gonna sell drugs.

And so I was like, fuck it, I'm gonna just try this stand-up shit. And so I stopped selling drugs and started working at Puddle like four times.

And so I was like, fuck it, I'm gonna just try this stand-up shit. And so I stopped selling drugs and started working at Puddle like four times.

Brothers and sisters? Yeah, I got one brother and three sisters.

Brothers and sisters? Yeah, I got one brother and three sisters.

I had like real custos, like it was niggas like, nigga Cam got the drugs.

I had like real custos, like it was niggas like, nigga Cam got the drugs.

I'm going to do this. I'm going to do stand up. And then my home, I got a homeboy who was like, who was really like, well, I grew up with my my dog back home and shit. And then he was also like, we could like when I was doing stand up, I would still judge a little bit in between that. And then he was like, but you got to pick one.

I'm going to do this. I'm going to do stand up. And then my home, I got a homeboy who was like, who was really like, well, I grew up with my my dog back home and shit. And then he was also like, we could like when I was doing stand up, I would still judge a little bit in between that. And then he was like, but you got to pick one.

I be trying to tell people, like, I was outside, but my favorite thing about my dog, bro, is, like, here, like, because it's young niggas from back where I'm from and shit that'll call me and just be like, how you made it out, how you did it and shit. And you keep my name alive in the streets. And I see it.

I be trying to tell people, like, I was outside, but my favorite thing about my dog, bro, is, like, here, like, because it's young niggas from back where I'm from and shit that'll call me and just be like, how you made it out, how you did it and shit. And you keep my name alive in the streets. And I see it.

And for them niggas, it seemed like I was, like, real outside, like, pistol-whipping niggas and beating the shit out of people. But the whole time I was out there, I'd be with a gun in my head like this.

And for them niggas, it seemed like I was, like, real outside, like, pistol-whipping niggas and beating the shit out of people. But the whole time I was out there, I'd be with a gun in my head like this.

Sure.

Sure.

Just fucking just terrified the whole time. Like scared as shit, bro. Scared as fuck.

Just fucking just terrified the whole time. Like scared as shit, bro. Scared as fuck.

No, it's my mom. I'm a mom only kid.

No, it's my mom. I'm a mom only kid.

I love traveling. I think my mom a flight attendant, so traveling is like my second nature. I love traveling.

I love traveling. I think my mom a flight attendant, so traveling is like my second nature. I love traveling.

Because first class, you can't really get that window sleep for real. It's too much of a gap. You know, the seat goes back. I know, but I don't like that. Do you not put your seat back in an airplane? No, I feel like I just spelled from the nigga behind me. I respect that.

Because first class, you can't really get that window sleep for real. It's too much of a gap. You know, the seat goes back. I know, but I don't like that. Do you not put your seat back in an airplane? No, I feel like I just spelled from the nigga behind me. I respect that.

Unless they be in a bitch and I go all the way there.

Unless they be in a bitch and I go all the way there.

Mm, I got slides, so probably you.

Mm, I got slides, so probably you.

Them bitches gonna come out.

Them bitches gonna come out.

Nah, I've never been a, nah, I can go to a restaurant and ask for, or you can give me something completely different. I just be like, I gotta eat it.

Nah, I've never been a, nah, I can go to a restaurant and ask for, or you can give me something completely different. I just be like, I gotta eat it.

Yeah. All right, there we go.

Yeah. All right, there we go.

Medium. Okay.

Medium. Okay.

Yeah, I drink a little bit.

Yeah, I drink a little bit.

Yeah, but I don't drink before shows, I don't drink after shows, so it's like I kind of limit myself.

Yeah, but I don't drink before shows, I don't drink after shows, so it's like I kind of limit myself.

You heard me? Nah, uh... Shit, I don't know if I'm drinking. I might get a bill. I might get a bill. I'll be around white people now. Y'all got me in the beers.

You heard me? Nah, uh... Shit, I don't know if I'm drinking. I might get a bill. I might get a bill. I'll be around white people now. Y'all got me in the beers.

They tried to get... Come on, I got a homegirl. She from... I'm from her name. And she do comment too. And she like, she like a real, like I was in the trenches for like half my life. So I was back and forth. She, she was just there. Right. And so every time she did, it tastes like musk. It tastes like musty. Beer?

They tried to get... Come on, I got a homegirl. She from... I'm from her name. And she do comment too. And she like, she like a real, like I was in the trenches for like half my life. So I was back and forth. She, she was just there. Right. And so every time she did, it tastes like musk. It tastes like musty. Beer?

She said it tastes like musk.

She said it tastes like musk.

Like how musk tastes.

Like how musk tastes.

I don't know what the fuck you're doing.

I don't know what the fuck you're doing.

A hot and ready.

A hot and ready.

That's what we call hoes back there, too.

That's what we call hoes back there, too.

Yeah, that'd be a little hot and ready.

Yeah, that'd be a little hot and ready.

But that's some dead cheese bread.

But that's some dead cheese bread.

That's a lot. I only had one brother, so I was wanting to hang out with him and shit, but it never kicked in like he was so much older than me. So I be like, let's do shit, let's do shit. And then one time, he said, fuck it, get in the car. And then he took me to this abandoned McDonald's. We sat there for a minute, and then we just drove away.

That's a lot. I only had one brother, so I was wanting to hang out with him and shit, but it never kicked in like he was so much older than me. So I be like, let's do shit, let's do shit. And then one time, he said, fuck it, get in the car. And then he took me to this abandoned McDonald's. We sat there for a minute, and then we just drove away.

I like eggs. Cook eggs.

I like eggs. Cook eggs.

Scrambled, Uber Eats, omelet, whatever.

Scrambled, Uber Eats, omelet, whatever.

I'm going to get that five-star chef with a ton of eggs. Yeah.

I'm going to get that five-star chef with a ton of eggs. Yeah.

I go to Costco and get some stuff for the car.

I go to Costco and get some stuff for the car.

I'm a homeboy. They do comedy and shit. They getting out right now. They finna leave. Okay. When I'm gone, they just be there and shit like that.

I'm a homeboy. They do comedy and shit. They getting out right now. They finna leave. Okay. When I'm gone, they just be there and shit like that.

So everybody come on the road with me. I'm from the city. My dog, Jarry, been on the road with me. He the first person that really shot me out in the city, just being like, man, this kid really working his ass off the court. I just believe in him. So that's one of my best friends. And my dog, my uncle, Jolly, who really taught me how to do stand-up, they both been on the road with me.

So everybody come on the road with me. I'm from the city. My dog, Jarry, been on the road with me. He the first person that really shot me out in the city, just being like, man, this kid really working his ass off the court. I just believe in him. So that's one of my best friends. And my dog, my uncle, Jolly, who really taught me how to do stand-up, they both been on the road with me.

Y'all always tell me, I'm going to fuck your auntie one day, so we're going to be family for real.

Y'all always tell me, I'm going to fuck your auntie one day, so we're going to be family for real.

Shit, do what you can do, nigga. Sure. My auntie's my best friend. She dope as hell, too. I would go to her house, too.

Shit, do what you can do, nigga. Sure. My auntie's my best friend. She dope as hell, too. I would go to her house, too.

I'm going to get one.

I'm going to get one.

No. Okay. He doesn't own a suit.

No. Okay. He doesn't own a suit.

I go to the shop.

I go to the shop.

Austin Moe Money. Who pointed you in that direction, by the way? Austin's Most Wanted.

Austin Moe Money. Who pointed you in that direction, by the way? Austin's Most Wanted.

No, it's an app called The Cutout.

No, it's an app called The Cutout.

Well, everybody can download it. I mean, I didn't think only you had it, Ken. Wait, hold on.

Well, everybody can download it. I mean, I didn't think only you had it, Ken. Wait, hold on.

So any city you go to, like, say I can get to my barber before I leave, I go on the app and I'm in a city I'm in. It's got pictures of the barbers.

So any city you go to, like, say I can get to my barber before I leave, I go on the app and I'm in a city I'm in. It's got pictures of the barbers.

You can just send an appointment right there.

You can just send an appointment right there.

Sometimes.

Sometimes.

If I go through the app, it's like you can really find a good barber.

If I go through the app, it's like you can really find a good barber.

You're not just going that bitch blind like you seen where they done before.

You're not just going that bitch blind like you seen where they done before.

But I found my barber. I had one barber. That nigga was kind of out of the way. He was talking to me like $80 for a collar. I just get a line up. Nigga, what the fuck?

But I found my barber. I had one barber. That nigga was kind of out of the way. He was talking to me like $80 for a collar. I just get a line up. Nigga, what the fuck?

I tip about 20.

I tip about 20.

Yeah, we got to.

Yeah, we got to.

I want to see some shit. I'm trying to see the city. When I was in Edmonton, I had to do fuck. It was cold as hell, dog. I had to do a damn thing. It was negative 12. I was like, bro, people shouldn't live here. Oh, man, they made me cut that bullshit. I mean, it was a dope show. They were cool as shit. But dog, that shit pissed me off. Man, I didn't want to move at all.

I want to see some shit. I'm trying to see the city. When I was in Edmonton, I had to do fuck. It was cold as hell, dog. I had to do a damn thing. It was negative 12. I was like, bro, people shouldn't live here. Oh, man, they made me cut that bullshit. I mean, it was a dope show. They were cool as shit. But dog, that shit pissed me off. Man, I didn't want to move at all.

I didn't realize until I was like 18 I was a drug dealer. I had no idea. What was going on? I thought, I'm just happy with my brother, nigga. This shit cool as fuck, man. I was happy as shit, dog.

I didn't realize until I was like 18 I was a drug dealer. I had no idea. What was going on? I thought, I'm just happy with my brother, nigga. This shit cool as fuck, man. I was happy as shit, dog.

People were like, come hang out. Fuck no. Y'all live in a tundra.

People were like, come hang out. Fuck no. Y'all live in a tundra.

Gay niggas is cool.

Gay niggas is cool.

I got fucked.

I got fucked.

up toes but no i think i think up toes so that you're a real man i ain't been through some i agree you're gonna be getting them done because they start wearing on you man you start ripping through sneakers people always say like when you get older you're gonna do this like i already feel like i'd be like when you get older you're gonna let a girl lick your ass but like how i get how you get older and get gay you feel me so that's a young man's response i'm just talking about getting it but i know but i you know this is how you feel me one thing leads to another

up toes but no i think i think up toes so that you're a real man i ain't been through some i agree you're gonna be getting them done because they start wearing on you man you start ripping through sneakers people always say like when you get older you're gonna do this like i already feel like i'd be like when you get older you're gonna let a girl lick your ass but like how i get how you get older and get gay you feel me so that's a young man's response i'm just talking about getting it but i know but i you know this is how you feel me one thing leads to another

At any point in your life, did you or anyone in your family ever put the batteries in the refrigerator or the freezer? What the fuck?

At any point in your life, did you or anyone in your family ever put the batteries in the refrigerator or the freezer? What the fuck?

My mama never changed the water filter, though.

My mama never changed the water filter, though.

Nah, in the fridge.

Nah, in the fridge.

He was from the gated community. He was like, why the fuck y'all never changed the water filter? I'm like, nigga, what you mean?

He was from the gated community. He was like, why the fuck y'all never changed the water filter? I'm like, nigga, what you mean?

Yeah, what the fuck? I like tap water.

Yeah, what the fuck? I like tap water.

Tap water here too? No. Yeah.

Tap water here too? No. Yeah.

They fixed it. I never knew they fixed it. I never kept up with them.

They fixed it. I never knew they fixed it. I never kept up with them.

I never looked up there.

I never looked up there.

Hell yeah, I like Gatorade.

Hell yeah, I like Gatorade.

That one that look like blue, but it's purple. Gotcha.

That one that look like blue, but it's purple. Gotcha.

It was a knight. Pretty good.

It was a knight. Pretty good.

Yeah, so UCF was there. My school kind of new. So it was like, it was 10 years old when I graduated. So it was the principal that we had went to UCF. It was like, the Knights. Like, it's pussy, though. Yeah, sure. We should have got a better name.

Yeah, so UCF was there. My school kind of new. So it was like, it was 10 years old when I graduated. So it was the principal that we had went to UCF. It was like, the Knights. Like, it's pussy, though. Yeah, sure. We should have got a better name.

You have to dress up. What are you throwing up? I got some here.

You have to dress up. What are you throwing up? I got some here.

In Florida, though. But I got some for sure. Yeah, yeah. I got a pair. I got one pair. How often do you go back and see your mom? I try to go as much as possible. I'm going there in March, so I'll probably go back. Yeah. Okay. But I try to get to see as much as I can. My dad on the road with me every weekend. My dad always come. Your dad goes on the road with you? He do the merch.

In Florida, though. But I got some for sure. Yeah, yeah. I got a pair. I got one pair. How often do you go back and see your mom? I try to go as much as possible. I'm going there in March, so I'll probably go back. Yeah. Okay. But I try to get to see as much as I can. My dad on the road with me every weekend. My dad always come. Your dad goes on the road with you? He do the merch.

Get the fuck out of here.

Get the fuck out of here.

Yeah, but he always go, nigga, I'm robbing you. You don't need to get in there robbing you, nigga.

Yeah, but he always go, nigga, I'm robbing you. You don't need to get in there robbing you, nigga.

That's awesome. It's funny because my dad would be coming up. He'd be having polo suits on and shit. I'd be like, where you getting all this money from? He'd always go, my investment paid off.

That's awesome. It's funny because my dad would be coming up. He'd be having polo suits on and shit. I'd be like, where you getting all this money from? He'd always go, my investment paid off.

He loves it, man. But he, what it meant, we was butted heads by these meet and greets, though, boy. We ready to go to Wolf. Why? Because most of the merch money go to him. So if I don't go do the meet and greet,

He loves it, man. But he, what it meant, we was butted heads by these meet and greets, though, boy. We ready to go to Wolf. Why? Because most of the merch money go to him. So if I don't go do the meet and greet,

They don't buy as much merch. So he's like, bring your ass out as soon as you get on stage, nigga. I'm like, I can't sit here for five minutes?

They don't buy as much merch. So he's like, bring your ass out as soon as you get on stage, nigga. I'm like, I can't sit here for five minutes?

They waiting on you. It's like, I call him Joe Jackson without the belt. That's crazy, dude. He's pimping you out. No, for real.

They waiting on you. It's like, I call him Joe Jackson without the belt. That's crazy, dude. He's pimping you out. No, for real.

He was like, nigga, use a hoe. Damn. Make the money.

He was like, nigga, use a hoe. Damn. Make the money.

But they don't want to wait like 10, 15 minutes. Ain't no one to see me that bad.

But they don't want to wait like 10, 15 minutes. Ain't no one to see me that bad.

Yeah, nah. Because of my positive shit, I'll always be like. I hear y'all tell me like, you know what I'm saying, I'm going to let you know when the investment has been paid off. Nigga, I don't think that's ever going to happen.

Yeah, nah. Because of my positive shit, I'll always be like. I hear y'all tell me like, you know what I'm saying, I'm going to let you know when the investment has been paid off. Nigga, I don't think that's ever going to happen.

Nah, it'd be a lot. My dad, my sister be coming up with these Louis Vuitton bags. What's going on here, man? What's all making over there, man?

Nah, it'd be a lot. My dad, my sister be coming up with these Louis Vuitton bags. What's going on here, man? What's all making over there, man?

That nigga like Costco a lot. He wasn't bad. He fought with Costco for sure, though.

That nigga like Costco a lot. He wasn't bad. He fought with Costco for sure, though.

See you in the front, sir. See you in a minute.

See you in the front, sir. See you in a minute.

Damn. I mean, think about it.

Damn. I mean, think about it.

He was always the catalyst of the whole dream. Let my mama see the best. When I told her I wanted to do stand-up, she wasn't on board at all. Sure. And so I went to my dad's house, and my dad was like, you got a couch, you got a yacht.

He was always the catalyst of the whole dream. Let my mama see the best. When I told her I wanted to do stand-up, she wasn't on board at all. Sure. And so I went to my dad's house, and my dad was like, you got a couch, you got a yacht.

He deserves the merch money. So I wouldn't even be like, nigga, what's up with the money?

He deserves the merch money. So I wouldn't even be like, nigga, what's up with the money?

This is dope. And then they always, like, the people I got around me keep, like, keep me on my, like, just keep me on a clear space. Like, my pops and my sister and niggas I started with.

This is dope. And then they always, like, the people I got around me keep, like, keep me on my, like, just keep me on a clear space. Like, my pops and my sister and niggas I started with.

I remember the other day.

I remember the other day.

He's in the video and shit. Bro, I'll never forget. Y'all got a marker over there? Can I get a marker? My dad, bro, I swear to God, no lie. So the girls want me to sign their titties and shit. And so my dad would see that and go, what? And so he was like, I remember the other day, I was signing the titty.

He's in the video and shit. Bro, I'll never forget. Y'all got a marker over there? Can I get a marker? My dad, bro, I swear to God, no lie. So the girls want me to sign their titties and shit. And so my dad would see that and go, what? And so he was like, I remember the other day, I was signing the titty.

That nigga love Costco. Like, he love Costco, bro. That's funny.

That nigga love Costco. Like, he love Costco, bro. That's funny.

On a weekend? Probably like six, seven.

On a weekend? Probably like six, seven.

I was signing the titty. I looked at my dad, and my dad had a marker like this. What's up, Brian? I want to sign one, too. He's fucking insane, man. I'll be like, hey, Pops, you got to chill the fuck out. It's a case. Signing titties. And my dad's like 6'4". He's like 300 pounds. He's a menacing dude.

I was signing the titty. I looked at my dad, and my dad had a marker like this. What's up, Brian? I want to sign one, too. He's fucking insane, man. I'll be like, hey, Pops, you got to chill the fuck out. It's a case. Signing titties. And my dad's like 6'4". He's like 300 pounds. He's a menacing dude.

Yeah, I did it. My dog had the funny story. I did carbs and stuff. I was just going to put my name on the marquee. And then my dad was walking up to my dog, and he was like, he said, look at that shit out there, boy. He said, my dog said, yeah, St. Paterson. He said, man, fuck that. That shit's St. Paterson.

Yeah, I did it. My dog had the funny story. I did carbs and stuff. I was just going to put my name on the marquee. And then my dad was walking up to my dog, and he was like, he said, look at that shit out there, boy. He said, my dog said, yeah, St. Paterson. He said, man, fuck that. That shit's St. Paterson.

Hell, yeah.

Hell, yeah.

Y'all think Costco's garbage? Costco's nice.

Y'all think Costco's garbage? Costco's nice.

I can do with it what I don't really like.

I can do with it what I don't really like.

I hate tuna, nigga. Really? I can't stand tuna. Tuna's fucking disgusting. I hate any type of tuna, nigga. I don't want tuna. I like sushi. But everything they made with sushi got tuna in it. It pissed me off. Wait, you don't like regular good tuna? I ain't never tried it.

I hate tuna, nigga. Really? I can't stand tuna. Tuna's fucking disgusting. I hate any type of tuna, nigga. I don't want tuna. I like sushi. But everything they made with sushi got tuna in it. It pissed me off. Wait, you don't like regular good tuna? I ain't never tried it.

I love it.

I love it.

I'm on the road and shit, and then I do a lot of shit on YouTube. I'm trying to get YouTube shit popping, so just Camp Passion on YouTube, and that's about it.

I'm on the road and shit, and then I do a lot of shit on YouTube. I'm trying to get YouTube shit popping, so just Camp Passion on YouTube, and that's about it.

You got to have a membership to go to Costco.

You got to have a membership to go to Costco.

I don't know how legal it is. It also has the police siren on it.

I don't know how legal it is. It also has the police siren on it.

Get the plates on. I mean, if I had to get an inspection, I wouldn't get an inspection. They were like, nigga, this car shouldn't be on the road.

Get the plates on. I mean, if I had to get an inspection, I wouldn't get an inspection. They were like, nigga, this car shouldn't be on the road.

Yeah, I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it for sure, man.

Yeah, I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it for sure, man.

I'm an executive member at Costco. Stop playing crazy. Wait a minute.

I'm an executive member at Costco. Stop playing crazy. Wait a minute.

I got the game plan was to fix it up and then give it to a comic who don't have no car.

I got the game plan was to fix it up and then give it to a comic who don't have no car.

That was the plan. What are we doing here? So hopefully it don't, you know what I'm saying, it don't break down on me. If it do, I'll probably just get another one and try to give it to somebody then.

That was the plan. What are we doing here? So hopefully it don't, you know what I'm saying, it don't break down on me. If it do, I'll probably just get another one and try to give it to somebody then.

Buddy, we love you.

Buddy, we love you.

I thought I was going to be clean for sure.

I thought I was going to be clean for sure.

I was at Costco the other day, and there was a white lady. I was with my dolls and shit. And I was just joking around. I was like, yeah, they don't even understand. Like, me and you, man, we executive members. And then she went, is that my car? What the fuck is going on here, bitch? I swear to God, I wouldn't have beat the shit out of that old-ass white lady, dog. That was really fucked up.

I was at Costco the other day, and there was a white lady. I was with my dolls and shit. And I was just joking around. I was like, yeah, they don't even understand. Like, me and you, man, we executive members. And then she went, is that my car? What the fuck is going on here, bitch? I swear to God, I wouldn't have beat the shit out of that old-ass white lady, dog. That was really fucked up.

We all kind of went to the same school. Gotcha. So when I got to high school, my middle school was in Oak, so I went to McCoy Elementary, McCoy. middle school, and Okoye High School. Okoye Elementary was really white. Like so white to the point where I would be like, Mom, we the only black people in the world? Like it was white as shit. You know what I'm saying?

We all kind of went to the same school. Gotcha. So when I got to high school, my middle school was in Oak, so I went to McCoy Elementary, McCoy. middle school, and Okoye High School. Okoye Elementary was really white. Like so white to the point where I would be like, Mom, we the only black people in the world? Like it was white as shit. You know what I'm saying?

Okoye Middle School, it was getting there. And then Okoye High School, everybody coming together. Everybody from my dad's side, everybody from where I'm from, the same school for the most part. And how were you in school? Were you good in school? Hell no, I was terrible. I was one of the worst ever, nigga.

Okoye Middle School, it was getting there. And then Okoye High School, everybody coming together. Everybody from my dad's side, everybody from where I'm from, the same school for the most part. And how were you in school? Were you good in school? Hell no, I was terrible. I was one of the worst ever, nigga.

I got ADHD, so, like, it was like, if I wasn't on my ADHD medicine, it was going to be a bad day for any teacher around, dog.

I got ADHD, so, like, it was like, if I wasn't on my ADHD medicine, it was going to be a bad day for any teacher around, dog.

I was always too scared to get in, like, super trouble until I got out of school, because my mama was just like, I don't want to deal with her when I get home. I was never trying to get no bullshit.

I was always too scared to get in, like, super trouble until I got out of school, because my mama was just like, I don't want to deal with her when I get home. I was never trying to get no bullshit.

Yeah, I'll do what I want when I get older, but I can't deal with her. She's an insane person. She's insane. I mean, one time I spit on a kid. I had spit on somebody when I was in fourth grade. Why? I don't even know. Well, really.

Yeah, I'll do what I want when I get older, but I can't deal with her. She's an insane person. She's insane. I mean, one time I spit on a kid. I had spit on somebody when I was in fourth grade. Why? I don't even know. Well, really.

I did one of these. I did one of them. And so he was like, he spit on me.

I did one of these. I did one of them. And so he was like, he spit on me.

Yeah, my mama didn't know that. My mama didn't know I did that. So when I got home, she just spit on me. She was like, you like spitting on people? Oh, shit. Do you enjoy spitting on people? Damn. How do you feel? I was like, that's not what I did at all. You hawked a loogie on me.

Yeah, my mama didn't know that. My mama didn't know I did that. So when I got home, she just spit on me. She was like, you like spitting on people? Oh, shit. Do you enjoy spitting on people? Damn. How do you feel? I was like, that's not what I did at all. You hawked a loogie on me.

You like doing this? What the hell? Yeah, that's crazy. You ever got whoopers in the bathtub? In the bathtub? Getting into the tub. Nah, did you ever hit you when you was wet? Nah. My mama hit me when I was wet one time. I got in the shower, and she got in the shower with me, and it whipped me when I was... It sounds crazy. Jesus. When I'm explaining it. I was bad, though. I needed it.

You like doing this? What the hell? Yeah, that's crazy. You ever got whoopers in the bathtub? In the bathtub? Getting into the tub. Nah, did you ever hit you when you was wet? Nah. My mama hit me when I was wet one time. I got in the shower, and she got in the shower with me, and it whipped me when I was... It sounds crazy. Jesus. When I'm explaining it. I was bad, though. I needed it.

You know what I'm saying?

You know what I'm saying?

But yeah, that was a torture tactic, though.

But yeah, that was a torture tactic, though.

It'd be really bad.

It'd be really bad.

My dad jacked me up one time. I think I was in, like, second grade, and I think I hit this girl.

My dad jacked me up one time. I think I was in, like, second grade, and I think I hit this girl.

I'm telling you, like, every time something happened to me, I needed it, y'all.

I'm telling you, like, every time something happened to me, I needed it, y'all.

And so I remember it was a pitman from school. They called a pitman from school, and we was riding back, And he just was like, he took me to get food. He was like, hey, listen, what you did was fucked up, and I'm going to get you, but I'm not going to tell you when. And he took me to get food. We were talking, having a good time. We got in the house. I was chilling.

And so I remember it was a pitman from school. They called a pitman from school, and we was riding back, And he just was like, he took me to get food. He was like, hey, listen, what you did was fucked up, and I'm going to get you, but I'm not going to tell you when. And he took me to get food. We were talking, having a good time. We got in the house. I was chilling.

He just came in and was like, don't you ever do shit like that ever again.

He just came in and was like, don't you ever do shit like that ever again.

Good for her.

Good for her.

I can't wait to be a parent. I'm going to be the best mental abuser ever, nigga.

I can't wait to be a parent. I'm going to be the best mental abuser ever, nigga.

I'm on they ass, nigga. Wait, like two weeks? Don't say nothing? Thought I forgot. Fuck, nigga.

I'm on they ass, nigga. Wait, like two weeks? Don't say nothing? Thought I forgot. Fuck, nigga.

Good basketball player? I was all right. I was decent. I never really had the grades to play a full season until my senior year. Full season. So I always played like half the season. My freshman year. I got in a fight with my teammate who played more. We both didn't play. Sure. Oh, man. I got in a fight. We fought in the away team bathroom. Damn. We were in the away game.

Good basketball player? I was all right. I was decent. I never really had the grades to play a full season until my senior year. Full season. So I always played like half the season. My freshman year. I got in a fight with my teammate who played more. We both didn't play. Sure. Oh, man. I got in a fight. We fought in the away team bathroom. Damn. We were in the away game.

We fought in the bathroom. I almost died. Jesus.

We fought in the bathroom. I almost died. Jesus.

Because I was a small kid, my freshman year. But I could fight a little bit. I had some hands a little bit. So we was in a fight, and I was fucking them up. I was beating the shit out of them. And then my brain just went. My dad came in and started kicking my ass. My brain just went. Hit him with the razzle dazzle. So I tried to pick him up. Everybody was recording the fight.

Because I was a small kid, my freshman year. But I could fight a little bit. I had some hands a little bit. So we was in a fight, and I was fucking them up. I was beating the shit out of them. And then my brain just went. My dad came in and started kicking my ass. My brain just went. Hit him with the razzle dazzle. So I tried to pick him up. Everybody was recording the fight.

And then when I went to go pick him up, he grabbed my lower body. And all I remember is somebody going, don't kill Cam. And they caught me right before I was going to hit the ground.

And then when I went to go pick him up, he grabbed my lower body. And all I remember is somebody going, don't kill Cam. And they caught me right before I was going to hit the ground.

No, it was dope. So I got kicked off the team for that. And then my sophomore year, I got back on the team. We had a new coach. Because the old coach we hated was like, you'll never play basketball at this school level again. He went to a different school.

No, it was dope. So I got kicked off the team for that. And then my sophomore year, I got back on the team. We had a new coach. Because the old coach we hated was like, you'll never play basketball at this school level again. He went to a different school.

So we got a new coach. And then I got back on the team. Didn't have the grades to play. Didn't play until the second half of the season. When I got back on the team, I cussed out my Spanish teacher.

So we got a new coach. And then I got back on the team. Didn't have the grades to play. Didn't play until the second half of the season. When I got back on the team, I cussed out my Spanish teacher.

Because she was a bitch.

Because she was a bitch.

She definitely had it coming. I wasn't trying to learn Spanish. I wasn't going to college. So I didn't give a fuck about it at all. And she was a black lady too, which was okay, whatever. So she... I was never going to learn Spanish because my first year was a Russian lady teach me Spanish. I know the fuck she was saying. Second year was a black lady. She was cool, but she was a bitch.

She definitely had it coming. I wasn't trying to learn Spanish. I wasn't going to college. So I didn't give a fuck about it at all. And she was a black lady too, which was okay, whatever. So she... I was never going to learn Spanish because my first year was a Russian lady teach me Spanish. I know the fuck she was saying. Second year was a black lady. She was cool, but she was a bitch.

So I would sleep one day, and then she was like, you got to wake up. And I said, hey, bro, you ain't going to let me sleep, but you're going to shut the fuck up and leave me the fuck alone. And I didn't realize that the JV coach was next door. So you just told him immediately, and they keep my team for that.

So I would sleep one day, and then she was like, you got to wake up. And I said, hey, bro, you ain't going to let me sleep, but you're going to shut the fuck up and leave me the fuck alone. And I didn't realize that the JV coach was next door. So you just told him immediately, and they keep my team for that.

I mean, listen, every time I'm wrong, I'm wrong.

I mean, listen, every time I'm wrong, I'm wrong.

Every time I'm wrong, I'll be wrong as shit, man. Wrong as fuck.

Every time I'm wrong, I'll be wrong as shit, man. Wrong as fuck.

Hell no. Didn't know where else they could see me. I don't know. Vacation?

Hell no. Didn't know where else they could see me. I don't know. Vacation?

No, not that I could. Oh, shit.

No, not that I could. Oh, shit.

Maybe we did.

Maybe we did.

I went to Hawaii with my mom when I was a kid.

I went to Hawaii with my mom when I was a kid.

But she's a flight attendant. She gets the buddy pass or whatever. That was cool. My parents got married. We got friends. I went to Hawaii with my mom when I was like 10 years old. There you go.

But she's a flight attendant. She gets the buddy pass or whatever. That was cool. My parents got married. We got friends. I went to Hawaii with my mom when I was like 10 years old. There you go.

That's one I can really remember. Oh, in Tennessee?

That's one I can really remember. Oh, in Tennessee?

Went to my family reunion and shit.

Went to my family reunion and shit.

My dad and shit. Got mustard in my eyes.

My dad and shit. Got mustard in my eyes.

It was on my stepmom's side of the family.

It was on my stepmom's side of the family.

Yeah, yeah. Gotcha. She been married my whole life. She up to my diapers and shit. Gotcha. So I went over to Tennessee. They got a cabin. And my sister's cousin was playing this game called Don't Go to Sleep. Are you going to get mustard in your eyes?

Yeah, yeah. Gotcha. She been married my whole life. She up to my diapers and shit. Gotcha. So I went over to Tennessee. They got a cabin. And my sister's cousin was playing this game called Don't Go to Sleep. Are you going to get mustard in your eyes?

And I was tired. I was the youngest. I wouldn't sleep. And they put mustard in my eyes.

And I was tired. I was the youngest. I wouldn't sleep. And they put mustard in my eyes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how the game went. That's all right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how the game went. That's all right.

It's a fucked up game.

It's a fucked up game.

Yeah, in Gainesville, Florida. My mama's side, yeah. Man, that's all right. That was probably a good time. It was dope.

Yeah, in Gainesville, Florida. My mama's side, yeah. Man, that's all right. That was probably a good time. It was dope.

I put pee in a water bottle one time and chased my cousins around with it because I couldn't catch them in tags.

I put pee in a water bottle one time and chased my cousins around with it because I couldn't catch them in tags.

Jesus Christ. I remember my granddad. My granddad was so mad at me about that shit. I couldn't catch him, but I was mad as fuck. And then, like, we were playing tag, and I went to the bathroom. and I came back out with a water bottle, and it was yellow. They didn't realize at first, but then my cousin was like, he got pissed in the water bottle, and they just started hitting it.

Jesus Christ. I remember my granddad. My granddad was so mad at me about that shit. I couldn't catch him, but I was mad as fuck. And then, like, we were playing tag, and I went to the bathroom. and I came back out with a water bottle, and it was yellow. They didn't realize at first, but then my cousin was like, he got pissed in the water bottle, and they just started hitting it.

I was squirting it at him like this. I was in time about two hours for that one.

I was squirting it at him like this. I was in time about two hours for that one.

I had a dog named Romeo. That nigga was a bitch. Spit on him.

I had a dog named Romeo. That nigga was a bitch. Spit on him.

Man, I hated that damn dog. What kind of dog? I don't even know. He was a mutt. My mama just found his ass one day. He was at the crib. Romeo was a real fuck nigga dog. I hated him. As a kid, you have a dog, and it's like, this your best friend. You own the dog. I think the dog thought, hey, man, I own this little nigga. Like he belongs.

Man, I hated that damn dog. What kind of dog? I don't even know. He was a mutt. My mama just found his ass one day. He was at the crib. Romeo was a real fuck nigga dog. I hated him. As a kid, you have a dog, and it's like, this your best friend. You own the dog. I think the dog thought, hey, man, I own this little nigga. Like he belongs.

Like he was sleeping in my bed, but it wasn't my bed. It was his bed, his mind. Like he was sleeping at the foot of my bed. I'm moving my sleep a little bit. So he would just bite my toes.

Like he was sleeping in my bed, but it wasn't my bed. It was his bed, his mind. Like he was sleeping at the foot of my bed. I'm moving my sleep a little bit. So he would just bite my toes.

Like hard as shit. and be like stop moving nigga I'm trying to sleep I remember one time I was in the backyard of my mom's house and I peed outside just cause I wanted to and I peed outside and Romeo just pissed over my piss oh yeah this is my house pussy yeah that dog was a real bitch I fucking hated Romeo Yeah, my grandma had a dog named Chico when I was a kid.

Like hard as shit. and be like stop moving nigga I'm trying to sleep I remember one time I was in the backyard of my mom's house and I peed outside just cause I wanted to and I peed outside and Romeo just pissed over my piss oh yeah this is my house pussy yeah that dog was a real bitch I fucking hated Romeo Yeah, my grandma had a dog named Chico when I was a kid.

He was an outside dog, though, and we would come inside when they were big as shit.

He was an outside dog, though, and we would come inside when they were big as shit.

Yeah, my house was dope. Like I had, we had a whole bunch of snacks. Dad, we had snacks too, Costco.

Yeah, my house was dope. Like I had, we had a whole bunch of snacks. Dad, we had snacks too, Costco.

That was great.

That was great.

Yeah, I can have soda. I can have sugar and shit.

Yeah, I can have soda. I can have sugar and shit.

My mom can't cook for shit. I wish she'd try to make a red velvet cake. Would that work? I'd never had someone flex a red velvet cake. That's a high-end cake, dude.

My mom can't cook for shit. I wish she'd try to make a red velvet cake. Would that work? I'd never had someone flex a red velvet cake. That's a high-end cake, dude.

My first job was at Foot Locker.

Yeah, first job was at Foot Locker. I went every single day.

Right behind my mom's house, yeah.

Yeah, I was playing sports.

Well, no, my senior year, I did play a full season.

I was on the team. My coach told me, he said, nigga, you here for team morale. Your coach said that? Yeah, that's when I was like, oh, yeah, I'm not going to play this shit in college, nigga. Can't keep up the jokes, all right?

It was the best, man. That's why I do comedy. Yeah? Why? Because I would always tell stories from my basketball, from, like, basketball to my, like, coworkers. And they would always be like, nigga, you're fucking funny. Okay. You should do stand up. And so that was that's the reason I do stand up. There you go.

So we like it was like.

Yeah, nobody would come in. So if somebody did come in, it's like, why the fuck are you here? You fucking up my date.

I do that everywhere I go. Turn around, he's in the backyard. Like, what the fuck, man?

I've been crushing all day, man. I got steady dumb ass shoes.

Yeah, let me tell you something.

So I fucked most of the girls in the mall.

Man, hey, look, though, real talk. Man, I fucked all up and down that mall. Before I even know my manager was cool, there was a girl that worked at the Jimmy J's. She tried to fuck me before the store opened. And I didn't know. I was like, there's cameras and shit in here, and I don't know my manager like that. I don't know my manager like that.

I was like, yo, the girl at Jimmy J's wanted to fuck me in the store. And they were like, why the fuck didn't you do it? Them cameras don't work, nigga. You should have did it. But after that, I was fucking all up and through that stuff. Like, man, I fucked in the bathroom behind the mall. It was an abandoned part of the mall. I was fucking in there at the JCPenney's and just shut down.

I was going fucking hell.

In the changing stall.

Jesus Christ. And that shit closed now, too.

Holy shit. But then, oh, we had guys. So I never really stole them for locker. My brother had a homeboy that used to, oh, he got... He got, like, big trouble stealing the finish line when it was 10. So I was always like, man, I'm not going to do no shit like that. But we had got a – when I became a manager, which was a terrible – Holy shit.

What the fuck? Wait, yeah, I was 18 because I was the only one that showed up to work.

I lived behind the mall and shit. So they were like, even if anything, cameras just show up. Because you got to understand, like, I feel like I got, like, a hiring system. Back then where it was like oh you got to get a score more off like oh, let's say the score is like you got to get past 600 if you get past 100 like you got a 670 you could be like a manager.

We know a little. Give us the whole story.

I

I'm like, what kind of question is that? Who would ask something like that?

Florida kid. West Orlando, born and raised. Okay.

I would do the sales report. I would have to write an email, but I'm not email trained, so I'm like, what's up?

What's good, fam?

We sold so many Air Force today. Black was going to like to steal. What year is this? This was 2019.

That's nuts, dude. Yeah. But I was so, the funniest shit, so I'm a manager, right? But the last manager that we had who work at Champs now, this nigga didn't know how to open the safe to put the money in that night. And then so when they got to me, obviously my test went good. I'm not the brightest nigga in the world. So they were like, if that guy couldn't do it.

Yes, sir. The west side, dude.

Cam damn shit can't close no fucking safe. So they never, when I would close a night, they never taught me the code to the safe.

So one night.

But we never, we never like, but the money was, it would just be open. So one night it was a string of like a, in Florida it was crazy. It was a string of footlocker robberies. I swear to God, I'm not lying to y'all. There was a string of Foot Locker robberies where they would break in through the back door. So there was a store next to it that was open.

Well, the west side is more like black people. On the east side, we got a lot of Spanish shit like that.

So they broke in through that store and stole so many shoes from us, like a lot. The next morning we got there, we realized that they had broke in and stole all the shoes and shit. And so it was a big investigation. And the later that came in,

thought I had did it cause I closed the night before and I didn't lock the safe and then we couldn't tell her that we never locked the safe cause I didn't think I could lock the safe so I had to learn the safe code that day and then do all this extra shit and then she sat me down had a conversation with me she had like a real deal like long talk with me older black lady and she was like so what are you she tried to get me to go to the army really

She was like, you should go to the army because like this, this is the cop investigating the burglary. They brought like an investigator, like a real investigator. And she was like an army. She OK, talking to me. And then little did I find out that she told my man, she was like, why would you hire him? He's like got a 610 on the test. She called me and I quote, she called me emotionally retarded.

She was like, why would you hide this, man? He's emotionally retarded. He should not be working at Foot Locker. This is insane. And, yeah, fuck that bitch.

Well, the east side kind of over there. The best way I can explain the east side is I didn't know UCF was on the east side of Orlando.

I was scared, but the funny thing about her, too, she told my manager, she said, he said, so do you think he did it? And she was like, there's no way he could have pulled this off. Shut up.

She's like, there's no way he could have did this.

And then they came and robbed us again like a year later. Damn. Yeah, it was crazy. That's nuts. Yeah, then I got fired for cussing at my manager. I got a new manager and I cuss that bitch to smithereens.

She called me her special child one time and I cussed that bitch to filth.

Because we would go back and forth, like Slash would be cool and they wouldn't be cool. But she was like, you my special child, you know you need a little extra help. And I'm like, bitch, I swear to God. Call me special again, or there'll be some smoke in this fucking city. I cut that bitch a smithereen. Fuck that lady. And then you know what's crazy? I started working at Publix after that.

I didn't know UCF was in Orlando until I graduated high school. So that's a big difference between the east side and the west side.

At first I was on the cashier and they was like, you can't do this. I had a joke about this at one point where I would always be like, I'll have a good day, my nigga. And they'd be like, Cam, you gotta stop.

So they're like, no, we gotta put him in the back of the house.

So I started stalking Shell, but then she started working at Publix with me.

My old manager.

No, she was just like me at Publix.

You were beautiful as shit.

I hated that hoe. She cool now though, but I hated her. She's cool now. Shout out Latoya though. She the one gave me the job at Publix.

I started doing comedy at Publix.

Yeah, yeah. I worked at a golf course when I got here.

My homeboy White can't work at a golf course. When I came here, he was like, I'll get you a job at a golf course. You want to move? I said, hell yeah.

I was a little caddy dude.

I clean your clothes when you get back.

I was terrible at it. Really? I was good at listening though. So I didn't know, like, none of the... I don't know shit about golf. But to get tips, you got to talk to them when they got the court and shit. Sure. So everybody would be like, yeah, so, like, how was the back nine? So I'd just be saying shit like that.

I'd just be like, the back nine was great, right? That's awesome. I loved the back nine.

I thought, like, our graduation was at UCF. I thought we was going out of town. Really?

I was at Publix at...

Yeah, I would do, so I did, I would do the Funny Bones, the improv there was Funny Bones.

I would do that. And then we only had one club, so I would go to Tampa a lot.

and do it like it's a smaller trap house called the gimmick okay i would do that a lot and then uh i was so the best name about lando was like you in the middle she's in the middle of florida i was all over i was in jacksonville and tampa i was i was everywhere but no big traveling like you weren't going to like the funny bone in like syracuse or whatever just local regional stuff so you do it down there for a few years then you move here and then you kill tony you blow up yes sir i got what's the what was the car when you were running around what was your first car

My first car, my mama got me a Honda Elantra.

A Honda Elantra. Yeah, yeah. She drove it until she paid it off, and then she gave it to me.

Crashed it to the back of four people. Why? So I was driving on this road going to a mic, which is crazy. I was going to a mic, and it was a dude I seen that I know. So I said, I was saying something, talking about fucking around with him and shit. And the light was green, but nobody was going because it was like a little hold up. And I slammed the back of the light, four people.

They were pretty bad. And then, so, after that happened, I didn't have a car. I didn't have a car, no longer had a car. But, so when I, I was living with my dad at the time. I was staying with my dad, like, full time and shit. I was on his couch when I started doing stand-up. And I was like, like, I was like, man, fuck the car. Like, fuck everything that just happened.

How I'm gonna get to these open mics?

I need a way to get to these open mics. I just started doing stand-up, like, every day when I, like, This is probably like my third week doing stand-up every day. And then I crashed the car. And so I was like, pops, how am I going to get the open mics? He was like, nigga, I got a car. So my dad had like this old ass, this fucked up Jeep. And so I worked on it. I was going to work during the day.

What? Where the fuck are we going, man?

And he had a car doing his shit, doing his little activities and shit.

And then at night, I would use the car.

He would do shit. He would contract. Whatever the fuck he do outside.

His office on the porch, nigga. He don't have a, you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm not finna be like, this nigga the best contractor in the world. No fucking way, man. His office is on the porch. So it's like, he was doing activities and shit day to day. And then I would, I would take the car at night and do mics for me and my dad share the car. And then one day, My uncle, he's a crack kid.

He stole the car and sold it for crack. And then we had like a couple other cars that I moved off.

Well, I think it was like a rented situation. He was trying to rent it to somebody for some crack. And they never gave it back.

I grew up with my parents. It was split custody. Okay. So my mom stayed in the suburbs. My dad stayed kind of in the hood.