Jovan Afzali
Appearances
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
Yeah, so I've noticed there's a lot of gold diggers in this city, right? You have to be careful. I overheard these two girls. One of them said she would fuck any guy with a job and a boat. So I snuck up behind her. I was like, hey, what could I get with a canoe and an internship? Anything? Okay. No, it's tough to find true love, it is, because it's not all based off looks. Love is blind.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
You know what it's not? Nose blind. My girlfriend smells like shit. I put my thumb in her belly button and her butthole, I pulled it out, it smelled exactly the same. What's going on? Okay, no. I don't actually have a girlfriend. Sometimes I like to make up imaginary girlfriends. Right now I'm dating this black girl. Her name's Double Entendre.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
She's really kind, but she makes me do weird things in the bedroom. Like she'll make me do black face and she'll do white face. So then we 69 and it looks like ying yang. It's kind of like, you know, it's kind of weird. And she's always telling me, she's like, Joven, bring food in the bedroom, but I'm out of whipped cream. So I'm like, okay, I have caramelized onions and Swiss cheese.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
So I'll spit on her. I'm like, who's my little patty melt? Four? Okay. All right, thanks. Thank you. All right.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
Yeah, she's white. And it's Jovan. Jovan, yeah. Jovan. Yeah.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
Nope, no. All right, what do you do for work? I'm like a line cook, yeah.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
Let's see, two years back in Albany is where I'm from, and then two and a half years here, I think.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
Yeah, it's quite lovely here, but the summers get to me. I get stupid and hot, so hot and bothered or whatever you call it. Yeah, they're hot. But yeah, it's a nice place. Yeah, summers are hot.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
It's Nina Simone. Oh, okay. But when I wear it, it kind of looks like Aunt Jemima, but yeah.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
Well, right now I just started at this Asian place, but usually I do, like, Italian food, yeah.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
I like to mix it up. New restaurants, new flavors. Yeah, you never know.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
Well, I literally just started. Like, I staged, like, yesterday, and I got the job, so I'll start this week, yeah.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
Well, I had another interview because I need a second job. So, yeah.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
I love playing chess lately, and I like to go dancing, so those kind of fill my time. You're a dancer? No, I'm not a dancer. I like to go dancing, though. What type of dancing? I'll just kind of wiggle.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
Give them something, folks. What kind of dancing? I like Indian trap music. It's pretty cool.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
I'll do that for like 45 minutes, and then I'll leave. Wow.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
Yeah. He's not like, thank God, but he's like... Yeah, he's more like, thank Allah.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
I mean, I'm not going to stretch my eyes out, but... You don't have to do that.
KILL TONY
#711 - ANDREW SCHULZ + DERIC POSTON
Why are you talking to me? Something like that. Or, um... Why do you have boobs? I don't know. Um... Kick me, please. Uh...