Joshua Yellis

Oh, Jesus Christ. All right. Women argue like terrorists. They fight like terrorists. I'll give you an example. Every guy in this room knows what I'm talking about. You'll say something to your woman. You'll say something to your woman. That means nothing to you, and she'll take it as a personal fucking attack against everything she believes in.

You'll be sitting on the couch next to her that night, and you ask her, you can see that she's pissed. You'll say, honey, what's wrong? She'll say, nothing, it's fine. You know she's fucking mad. An hour goes by. She's not ready yet, because she's still putting the dynamite in the vest. She's not ready to blow up the fucking square yet. She's waiting until later in the night, right?

You wait an hour, you say, honey, what's wrong? It's fine. She's still getting her pilot's license, fellas. She doesn't have her box cutter yet. She's not ready to hit the towers. As soon as your eyes are closing to go to sleep, she says.

Never, dude.

Yeah. There you go, dude. First time. Picks up the sound. First time. Your wife can't hear you.

No, dude. Yeah. Yeah. That could easily be the problem. Shout out to Alexandra. I love you. We're getting married in May.

She's already my wife to me.

She is not. No. Hopefully she'll be watching this.

I'm a truck driver, my man.

Yeah? Yeah.

I fucking love it, dude. I love it. I'm keeping America alive, me and all the truck drivers out there. Fuck yeah, man.

Goddamn right.

Gatorade bottles mostly, you know, sometimes a shitty bathroom with a hooker, you know?

Honestly, man, I don't have a lot of crazy stories. I'm listening to Kill Tony, listening to podcasts, a lot of comedy. I don't know.

I work for a crane company, so mostly counterweights for crane. Not that interesting. Sorry, guys. Okay.

I found the most amazing woman in the entire world.