Jeannie McKay
Appearances
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E4: Hello powerful woman | The Banned Teacher
Absolutely. Absolutely. Take your time with it. And it's an important one for sure. It's a really important one.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E4: Hello powerful woman | The Banned Teacher
Yeah. Didn't go into the building. We were looking in the windows basically. Yeah.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E4: Hello powerful woman | The Banned Teacher
So how have you been? Good.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Well, we know all about that. Anne-Marie Robinson lived it. But now, once again, police have told Ali what the teacher did. Having sex with a student in 1987 was not illegal.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
The tools Professor Benedet is talking about are different charges, laws that were already on the books and could be applied to cases that happened before 1988. But they are charges not often used in crimes against girls, such as gross indecency.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
On these calls, Jeannie is often joined by Anne-Marie, Jackie, Rita, Siobhan, and Ali. We've heard all their stories in previous episodes. Today, they've come together to hear about our visit to Sam's house. the dad who punched the music teacher. Sam served Anne-Marie and me tea in his spotless living room. There were tears and hugs.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
In the past, the gross indecency law was used to convict gay men who had consensual sex with other men. So it's definitely been a problematic law.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
She means a case where a teacher assaulted female students.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
So why aren't the police looking at that charge? The whole situation leaves the survivors indignant and furious.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
The he Jeannie McKay is talking about is Doug Walker. I've joined the blipsters on their regular call. Ali has just filled them in.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Well, I kind of see Anne-Marie as the deputy minister of the group.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Now I'm playing back some of the tape I recorded from that visit. The other survivors want to hear his voice.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Allie is listening. They validate her own anger and sadness. She put herself out there. This group gave Allie the confidence to tell the detective her story.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Police inaction only feeds that shame. It doesn't take it away. And it all leaves me with more homework to do. I have more questions for the music teacher himself. I haven't contacted Doug Walker in more than a year. I corresponded with him before I published the initial investigation about Anne-Marie and Jeannie, but now there have been many more allegations by many more women.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
The former teacher needs an opportunity to respond. I start writing down questions, and I send him an email requesting an interview. I wait to hear back. Then I continue my legal research. I Google, look up studies, read law papers, and contact people across the country. But there's a provision in the criminal code that vitiates consent.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
And I learn more about legal provisions than I ever thought I'd have to. I chat with more academics, former Crown attorneys, legal advocates. I seek out those who know and understand old sexual assault laws and how they're applied to cases involving boy victims or girl victims. This is a dysfunctional area of law.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Then during one of our chats, Anne-Marie remembers the first lawyer she ever spoke to about her case. She asks me to find him.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
This was way back, about eight years ago, before she went to the police, before she met me. The Ontario government had just set up a pilot program.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
The program is free for victims of sexual assault. It's available in several provinces. It provides four hours with a lawyer.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
That's at Queen's University in Kingston, Ontario.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Blair is a big man with a big smile and a warm laugh. I can see how he would have put Anne-Marie at ease. He comes with years of experience at law clinics at two Ontario universities. He hears from many victims, most of them women.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
In 1975, Sam found out his teenage daughter was having sexual encounters with her music teacher. Sam told the principal.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
He helped me start to put it in context. Anne-Marie has come along to the interview with Blair. Yeah, it's like coming full circle. And she comes prepared. Hi, Blair. Hi, Anne-Marie. She's wearing business attire and holds a notepad with her questions. Since she first met Blair, Anne-Marie has learned so much more about the law. Now she almost sounds like a lawyer. She jumps right in.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Sure. But I just wonder, it appears there's a discriminatory application of laws, right? If male victims can see a conviction against a former teacher for sexual assaults, but female victims can't.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Then he punched the teacher. Former students say Walker left the school.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
I looked to Anne-Marie. Would she go back to the police? Absolutely, yeah. And even after you went through four and a half years and the re-victimization, you still would do that?
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
It's been several years since Blair Crew first heard Anne-Marie's story. He believed her then. He believes her now. She has so much more information but as far as she's concerned still no justice.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Right. Before the interview is over, Blair Crew mentions one last thing, another crime that sometimes gets the attention of police and prosecutors.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
As the interview wraps up, Anne-Marie and I look at each other. Blair's last comment caught our attention. We're both recalling something that Jeannie has told us. We've kept it to ourselves. I didn't know if or when to bring it up, but I guess we should talk about it now because it seems relevant. Actually, it's Jeannie McKay's story to tell, so I'm going to let her tell it.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
But just a warning, there are going to be some graphic details.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Oh, I'm sorry that my face makes you sad.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Jeannie's eyes are damp from the moment the computer links us together. It's still the wee hours on the West Coast in British Columbia. Jeannie hasn't had her morning coffee. She's a teacher and wanted to talk to me before getting ready for her school day. We chat for a few minutes. Then she tells me again what happened to her as a teenager with her band teacher.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
They were outside, lying under a tree.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Oh, God. They all know Sam recently lost his daughter. She's no longer around to talk about it or appreciate what he did. And it makes the situation even more sad. I see Jeannie leave the screen to grab a Kleenex box and Ali holds her head in her hands. Wow.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
These are private, difficult memories about yet another indignity.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
and Jeannie says there's a reason she didn't mention the anal penetration when she went to the police decades ago.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
The whole issue of crimes against boys versus crimes against girls is preying on Jeannie's mind. She imagines what was on the minds of the men who made the laws and the men who enforced them.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Despite the historic problems with these old laws, both Jeannie and Anne-Marie want authorities to consider what happened to the survivors was grossly indecent. And like Anne-Marie, Jeannie says she's willing to go back to the police.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
We talk about our dogs to lighten the mood before we say goodbye. Another tough conversation wraps up. Doug Walker has always maintained the sexual encounters with these girls were consensual. I ask him specifically about this latest revelation from Jeannie. He says that never happened. But I have 28 more questions for him, and I have requested an interview.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Walker says he'll talk to me over the phone. We arrange a time. Next time on The Banned Teacher. Anne-Marie is back to work at a new job.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Anne-Marie has found other survivors with similar goals. One has a familiar voice from the first season of The Band Played On.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
And Anne-Marie takes another important yet uncomfortable step in her own journey. And then I want to go into the music room.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
You've been listening to The Band Teacher, ad-free on Apple Podcasts. Thanks for subscribing. The Band Teacher is investigated, reported, written, and hosted by me, Julie Ireton. Alison Cook is the story and script editor, producer, sound designer, and mixer. Felice Chin is our executive producer and story editor. Eve Saint-Laurent is our legal advisor.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Jennifer Chen, Amanda Pfeffer and Jen White provided valuable production advice. Special thanks to the folks at CBC Podcasts for their support. The managing editor of CBC Ottawa is Drake Fenton. If you or someone you know has been sexually abused, community resources can help. Reach out to a trusted person, sexual assault centre or rape crisis centre in your area.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
They all resolve to send him notes and cards, and they do. I don't have a dad anymore. I don't either. I never really did. Oh, my God. I don't know, there's just... That's Ali. She reported the music teacher after a band trip to Montreal in 1987.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
And I was like, there's nothing else to wait for. For decades, Allie thought it was her fault after a 39-year-old teacher had sex with her, a teenage student. She now wants to put the blame where she says it always belonged. It just washed over me that I feel like it's time. Time to go to the police. Because a conviction would make a difference. The banned teacher. I'm Julie Ireton.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
This is season two of the band Played On. Survivors still crave justice. New laws were enacted in the 1980s. They made it illegal for those in positions of authority, like teachers, to have sexual relations with the young people they're in charge of, their students. It's in Canada's criminal code. And if I'm the only person who falls under the new laws, then I do have a responsibility. I do.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
And we discover inconsistencies in how police treat male victims versus female victims of historical sexual assault.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Episode 9, If They Were Boys.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Ali has just reported to the police in the Toronto area where she attended high school. It's November 2022.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
We all gathered at Ali's Toronto home a few months ago in the summer with the cat and the dogs and the survivors. Now she's taken a big step. She's written to the police. Please help to bring this serial predator to justice. Ali has lived with what happened to her for more than three decades.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
In the aftermath, Ali says the administrators slut-shamed her. But she's more eloquent in her words to the police.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Hey, Siobhan. One by one, each woman pops up in a square on my computer screen. Six small boxes. They've become familiar faces to me and to each other. Where are you, Siobhan? I'm at home. They fondly call this group the Blipsters. That's because they're among the music teacher's blips. That's survivor Jeannie McKay in B.C. with her wire-framed glasses, her salt-and-pepper hair.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Wow. What did it feel like to write that and then hit send?
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
New laws. I've talked before about the changing landscape of Canada's sexual assault legislation. A series of new laws were put in place in the 1980s. These laws didn't exist when Anne-Marie Robinson and Jeannie McKay say they were assaulted. The old laws took a narrow view on consent. Had the girl gone to bed with the teacher willingly?
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Those laws didn't consider grooming or the power imbalance between teacher and student. or a coach and a player, a doctor and a patient. But in the late 1980s, a new criminal code violation was introduced called sexual exploitation. This is how it reads.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Every person commits an offense who is in a position of trust or authority towards a young person, who is a person with whom the young person is in a relationship of dependency. and who for a sexual purpose touches directly or indirectly with a part of the body or with an object any part of the body of the young person, or invites, counsels, or incites a young person to touch a part of the body.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
And the definition of a young person here is someone under 18. An adult being in a position of power changed the rules. Ali shared the news about going to the police with the other survivors.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Do you wish that, that, um, you had done this 35 years ago? Or are you glad that you're moving forward as an adult, more aware of what the laws are?
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Now, Ali will wait to hear back from the police. It's been a difficult few months for Allie, ever since the women gathered at her Toronto home. It dredged up long-buried teenage memories, but it also reminded her of band, of making music. She's back in touch with high school bandmates, and she's thought more about the importance of music in her life.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Sitting down at her piano and writing this song has helped.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
And it's a distraction, taking her mind off the waiting. But Ali doesn't have to wait long for a response from the police. Just a week later, I get another call.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Yeah, I can. The police took Ali's complaint seriously. Within a couple days, she was asked to go into a Toronto area station. She gave a formal statement on camera.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
It's only been a week since she filed her first report. The detective has just called.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Doug Walker told Ontario's teachers' regulator the two years of sexual encounters with Jeannie, his teenage student, well, that was just a blip. We now know she wasn't even his first blip. Other girls from other schools, came before Jeannie.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Wow. He's spoken to the prosecutor already. I can't tell if it's anxiety or excitement in Ali's voice.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Wrong? How is that possible?
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
The sexual exploitation law, making it an offense for a person of authority to have a sexual encounter with a person under 18. It turns out the law was drafted in the mid-1980s. But it wasn't officially enacted into law until years later.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
That was eight months after Ali's sexual encounter with her music teacher. The detective told her there was nothing he could do.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
She was also thinking about Jeannie and Anne-Marie. They've already been through this with the police.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
That wasn't all. Ali had reported to Toronto Area Police, where she went to high school. But her encounter happened on a band trip to Montreal, a six-hour drive from home. The detective told her since it happened in Montreal, he didn't actually have jurisdiction.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Ali's upset and still trying to absorb what the detective told her.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
I don't blame her for feeling upset. It is disturbing, baffling, especially given my previous reporting experience. I spent more than a year investigating crimes against teen boys for the first season of the band played on. In one case, we saw a former high school teacher let out of court in handcuffs. He went to prison for touching boys over their clothing, propositioning them.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Many of those violations happened in the 1970s and 80s before new sexual assault laws were enacted. This current case took place over the same time period and the women say their teacher raped them. Yet police tell the women there was no law to protect them. Under the law, how could there be such a different approach for boy victims and girl victims? How can there be a double standard in Canada?
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
I need a legal expert to explain, so I go to an academic I've spoken to before. She's in Vancouver.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E9: If they were boys | The Banned Teacher
Okay, I've got the right person. She joins me via video from her office at UBC.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
I think it was maybe even the first day I raised my baton and I saw him. It just went, whoa. And my brain instantly flashed on to... And the horror of it all, because by then I was 13 years post the abuse and I all of a sudden had all the power in the room and they were looking at me and I was getting ready to do something powerful and it was more than just music. Teachers have all this power.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
Our whole job is to get them to do amazing things. That's our superpower. And for some, they're kryptonite. I would be planning my trips thinking, how could he have done this?
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
Why is he in my head when this is my band, this is my program? And most of the time it would be my stuff, my initiative, my thinking, my tours. She talks this through with Anne-Marie.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
And it traveled with me from house to house. And there was just something, there was something in me that I knew I needed to have it. And at the beginning, it was probably a fond thought, but then it became a, no, you can't get rid of this. You just can't get rid of this. And maybe I was self-flagellating, like maybe I was just, because I was pretty hard on myself. I kept that squash down so hard.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
I didn't start healing until I stepped away from teaching band. Right. deep down inside of me, I just couldn't do it anymore. It just, it made me sick. It was, it was making me sick. I kept squashing it.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
I walked behind the group. There were, I don't know, 10 of us that came off that plane. They arrived at Los Angeles International Airport. And walked out to where the bus was waiting at LAX, got on the bus, and there he was. And I froze.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
walker she hadn't seen him in years just stared at him and his hand had come up to shake hands and my hand came halfway up to shake hands and you know things are going through your head like what's he doing here is is he going to try something all that it's just flashing through your head it you know, light speed. And I just put my hand down and someone behind me said, come on, move on.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
And I just sort of blinked and shoved right past. I went right to the back row. Thank God it was empty. I couldn't breathe. I just trembled and trembled. I couldn't see. I couldn't see anything. I knew they were talking. The world was sort of black. And
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
Eventually, the tour hostess, she sat down beside me, hello, and I said, I didn't even say hello, I said, there's a guy on this bus, he molested me in high school, like something words to that effect. He shouldn't be here, he shouldn't be around students, you can't have him around kids. She goes, okay, can you point out which one? And I pointed out which one. She said, what do you want me to do?
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
And I said, Just let me out here. I'll be fine. I'll get back to the airport in time. I have my ticket. And they let me out at that place, that theater with all the stars, hands in concrete. They let me out there.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
That was it. I sat in the sun, went for walks, swam a little bit, got back on the plane, came home, and knew I had to do something. If that could affect me 15 years later, I knew that if it did that to me, perfectly competent adult, I had to do something about it. But what? I knew he was still at it. Still teaching high school students. I knew he was.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
He was still getting, you know, kids to go to Disneyland with him.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
And so she took me into, it said, a soft room. So this was the kind interview room and it had couches. And I remember looking around, I think there was a camera in the ceiling. And so she just started asking me the questions in a very quiet way.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
I peeled off the plastic and there it was.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
They talked with the superintendent. They talked with the librarian to get the yearbooks.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
There was a lot of smoke, but no evidence for them to feel that they could move forward, other than my word, which should be good enough. And that's where it all falls apart for so many women. And so nothing happened.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
We can't do anything for you under those laws. It feels like we've been here before. What I recall is that they said the laws back when I was that age, the laws were different. They'd been changed since.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
But the laws essentially made it that I was almost property of my father. And if my father thought I'd been wronged, he would have to bring charges. But my father was dead and couldn't bring charges. Ironic that even my mother couldn't.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
I just kept going because I needed to. I just wanted him away from children. So much of this has come just by me bluntly keeping going, right? And being fortunate enough to be so entitled that I can have psychiatric care when I need it. I can have a good job and with good benefits. And I've made it past his victimization of me when so many don't. And I've had the ability to just keep going.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
I had to do something, and I was meant to be his blip.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
I thought they had the power to advertise this predator across the land, but they barely had the power to get rid of him. It took forever to just get him to talk.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
I attended Markham District High School where Mr. Walker taught me music. Today I write with a sense of deep sorrow at the loss of my youth and my trust. As a mother, I shudder at the callousness of a system that would pass this man from school to school. In high school, Doug Walker's actions led me towards adulthood before I had even experienced adolescence.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
I gave him all of my innocent first love and adoration, and he took everything. He took away my youth and my trust. Walker never used physical force. He used the force of his position of power over me. Every day I'm embarrassed at how I was taken in by this twisted man. Doug Walker has tainted my deep love of music. Sometimes I wish I was deaf.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
You know, all around the world, every day, something big falls on the shoulders of someone and they do it because they know they have to.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
Two days before it was to happen, they phoned and said, you don't have to come. He's agreed to stop teaching. That was it. It was so anticlimactic.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
And if it wasn't for this blip, I would still be teaching. And so I'm the blip. Just to say, hey buddy, we're not blips.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
I haven't even thought about that today. I've been so busy. I'm good.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
But I've never seen myself that way. I've just seen myself as having to fight this fight and fight it again. And just because it's right, it's right. It's the thing to do. And... And no one was able to do it. And so it fell to me. And, you know, all around the world, every day, something big falls on the shoulders of someone and they do it because they know they have to.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
And Anne-Marie, you've fought for all these years, fought yourself first. Like, why didn't I do something? And that's so sad because it It wasn't, like I said the first time, it wasn't your fault. I'm so sorry you felt that way. I know that I have this sister that I will always have as a sister, but I don't know what that means yet. I know that our lives continue on the way our lives continue.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
I just know that you exist and you're part of me now.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
I want to hear from the kids right after me because I want to let them know that they were really seriously wronged by the system. I want to hear from the girl whose dad punched him.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
I was meant to be his blip. Blip the conqueror.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
Emery, I'm not sure if I ever told you this. When I first got the message that you were looking for me, and here's her name and here's her phone number, I just lost it. I... I read it and I, you know, the typical movie thing where your knees give out and I just sat right down on the stairs. I just sat right down and started sobbing.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
The world got huge. And I said, CBC's got this. It's Quintico National. I said, we're going to get them all. And I was thrilled. I was thrilled and horrified and saddened. The whole oyster. And you know the Grinch story where at the end his heart sort of busts out of the x-ray?
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
It's like my heart and mind just bust open for all these girls who I know are going to be better now because I'm going to be able to help them. I'm going to be able to push this forward. And I'm going to be able to let them know that it's okay to talk about it. And I know how to find them some help if they need it.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
It's just the formal introduction of Ocean, the Portuguese water dog. Yeah, she's smart, but she's chicken. She won't swim.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
Dad loved music and he had all the old 78s. Our whole family was very musical. Grandma, on my dad's side, played piano and organ in church and sang, of course. And dad was raised in that tradition and sang. And so ever since I was young, I was singing in church and joined the church choirs.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
There weren't more. That was, that was just the intercourse.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
I was okay looking. I wasn't dressed extra specially beautifully. I was pretty geeky looking at the start and probably still by the end. I was just an average kid.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
I think he was sort of grooming everybody in a way. He was grooming them into his circle. He would have been grooming everybody into his crowd.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
We would all go out for dinner between school and band practice. We would all have drinks. He would buy us drinks like crazy, like crazy. I remember, you know, all the childish drinks, the really sweet wines, the Southern Comfort, the Bailey's, the Singapore Sling kind of things. Nothing really sophisticated at all.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
And so I would just make a little notch, tiny little blue pen notch and One, two, three, four, five. One, two, three, four, five. And I have all these little hash marks. So yeah, the desk is a real number. It was a real desk and a wooden top. And I would do my homework on it. That's the desk they got me, mom and dad got me from my bedroom. When she was 16. I came up with a very real ballpark of
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
And he'd be drinking alongside of us, and we'd all be rip-roaring and driving, of course, back to band practice.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
He would then be sharing the rude literature in the back in the band room, like the storage room.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
And it was just really, really risque. And so the inner circles got smaller and smaller until he was certain he could make moves on people. And he'd be very, very touchy-feely, huggy with all the girls and all buddy-buddy with the guys.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
And it was just so exciting. It was just so grown up. And we were so young. It was so naive, so very innocent. And it was, you look back and you realize that's so inappropriate. And at the time it was just so cool. He was able to really twist your thoughts.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
I remember realizing that if I wanted that, it was possible. And so, yeah, that happened. Mm-hmm.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
And we went parking in his car down, I think it was as the waterfront area was being developed. And we ended up making out in his back seat. And that's when it happened the very first time. Yeah. Yeah. What a, what a hideous human to take advantage because there I was a young, you know, hormonal kid.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
He would control people with absolute sarcasm. And it turned out, sadly, it turns out that he was controlling my brother that way too, to try and prevent him from telling anybody. And I didn't really learn much about this until recently.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
It's creepy. It's really creepy. Yeah. I had a circle of people that I hung with that I was friends with. But I didn't have a bosom buddy by any stretch. Didn't have a boyfriend. Didn't have those kinds of relationships that... That would have maybe made it harder for him to get to me because we would have talked about it and maybe a parent would have found out.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
I remember at one point him saying something about, oh, so-and-so is on the pill. You could ask her about where you could go for that. Yeah. And so how would he know that if he hasn't already been working with her? And yeah.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
I wasn't ashamed in high school. I was secret. I felt great because I was in the in crowd and I was doing cool things, really cool things. Like there were amazing musical experiences and times and trips and joy and happiness and laughs.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
But... The shame didn't really come until shortly after when I started realizing how wrong it was.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
It really played into my brain when my dad became ill with cancer. Because once we found out that it was terminal, all of a sudden, my youthful understanding of religion became, dad's going to find out. When he dies, he's going to know everything, and I'm going to go to hell. And that began actually a 40-year fear of dying and going to hell because dad would find out.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
probably 150 ish times for oral sex office office office office back music room um car parking lot in the dawn valley we'd go parking I knew that I couldn't keep records, really. I couldn't have a diary. I couldn't talk about it to anybody. And probably he was saying stuff like that too. And I still had the desk 20 years later because it was a solid desk.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
It wasn't even something I unpacked until I started getting professional help a year ago when this all started up again. And I think in the second session I had with her, we were talking about my religious beliefs at the time and how that impacted my day-to-day thoughts.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
squashed it down into my psyche. And at night I would wake up sweating, thinking I was going to die. And I would wake up just in a panic. And the whole death thing was just some of that, you know, PTSD that I never knew about because I never put it together. And look at Anne-Marie. She's always felt sad that someone came after her because she felt like she hadn't done enough.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
And that's heartbreaking because that's not her shame. That's not her guilt. It's all his.
Sea of Lies from Uncover
S31 E5: The blip | The Banned Teacher
I felt validated because my story wasn't, I wasn't alone in the world anymore.