Jay Shetty

It is true, but it's a really harsh truth.

It is true, but it's a really harsh truth.

Yeah. Yeah. And that's that like weird space we all end up in where we take on a role because we get validation in the beginning.

Yeah. Yeah. And that's that like weird space we all end up in where we take on a role because we get validation in the beginning.

And we appreciate and like that. And then we've run out of that role. We don't want to play that role anymore, by the way, which is also natural. And the problem is when we don't want to play that role anymore, that other person got so used to us playing that role that they're now also going through a grief. Yeah. And we're going through a grief.

And we appreciate and like that. And then we've run out of that role. We don't want to play that role anymore, by the way, which is also natural. And the problem is when we don't want to play that role anymore, that other person got so used to us playing that role that they're now also going through a grief. Yeah. And we're going through a grief.

They're going through a grief of our former self that they were in love with. And we're going through a grief of our former self. So we're both missing a person who doesn't exist anymore. They're missing the person we used to be. We're missing the person we used to be. But we know we want to be a different person. And they're trying to figure out whether they're going to like this different person.

They're going through a grief of our former self that they were in love with. And we're going through a grief of our former self. So we're both missing a person who doesn't exist anymore. They're missing the person we used to be. We're missing the person we used to be. But we know we want to be a different person. And they're trying to figure out whether they're going to like this different person.

So there's a lot at play here. What we want to do is if you're at the early stages of a relationship, spot this early, both men and women, whoever you are, whichever role you're playing, spot it early. Don't just fall into the trap of, oh, it works for now, let's just see how it goes. And I think if your partner can't see that, you need to see that for yourself. Take responsibility.

So there's a lot at play here. What we want to do is if you're at the early stages of a relationship, spot this early, both men and women, whoever you are, whichever role you're playing, spot it early. Don't just fall into the trap of, oh, it works for now, let's just see how it goes. And I think if your partner can't see that, you need to see that for yourself. Take responsibility.

I think it genuinely comes down to looking back at you taking control, accountability, and power of your life, and what you're gonna do with that time and energy now. Like, you just don't want anything you said to sound like you're blaming that other person and shifting the accountability onto them.

I think it genuinely comes down to looking back at you taking control, accountability, and power of your life, and what you're gonna do with that time and energy now. Like, you just don't want anything you said to sound like you're blaming that other person and shifting the accountability onto them.

Because like you said, it's gonna feel weighty for them, and they're gonna feel like, oh God, I don't wanna take on that weight, I feel too much pressure, now I'm gonna throw it back on you, and that's what we end up doing. So I think it's fine to say, hey, I've been doing this for the last 10 years. It's not who I wanna be anymore.

Because like you said, it's gonna feel weighty for them, and they're gonna feel like, oh God, I don't wanna take on that weight, I feel too much pressure, now I'm gonna throw it back on you, and that's what we end up doing. So I think it's fine to say, hey, I've been doing this for the last 10 years. It's not who I wanna be anymore.

And I understand that that adjustment is gonna make changes for you. I'd love to discuss those changes. And now you're talking about the changes and the edits, not talking about that person and you, rather than saying, oh, you won all the awards you wanted to, where am I?

And I understand that that adjustment is gonna make changes for you. I'd love to discuss those changes. And now you're talking about the changes and the edits, not talking about that person and you, rather than saying, oh, you won all the awards you wanted to, where am I?

When you make it about you and them, all of a sudden, you're not talking about what it's actually about, which is here's how things are gonna change. How is this gonna affect you? What can we do in the middle period to make the transition more effective? It's change management, not the person management.

When you make it about you and them, all of a sudden, you're not talking about what it's actually about, which is here's how things are gonna change. How is this gonna affect you? What can we do in the middle period to make the transition more effective? It's change management, not the person management.

And I think the challenge is we make it about that person and what they should have done, what they could have done, the time we've lost, the energy we've invested, what we didn't get out of it. And I get it, that is the emotional layer that needs to be explored. But that's not going to keep that person in your life in a healthy way. It's going to create friction.

And I think the challenge is we make it about that person and what they should have done, what they could have done, the time we've lost, the energy we've invested, what we didn't get out of it. And I get it, that is the emotional layer that needs to be explored. But that's not going to keep that person in your life in a healthy way. It's going to create friction.