Jay Shetty

After the checking and knowing, the question was, and I asked them this question, are you willing to be patient? Are you willing to realize that your partner will have days where they will fall back into their addiction? Are you willing to tolerate the idea that you may feel betrayed? Are you willing to tolerate the memories you'll have of the pictures they have on their phone?

After the checking and knowing, the question was, and I asked them this question, are you willing to be patient? Are you willing to realize that your partner will have days where they will fall back into their addiction? Are you willing to tolerate the idea that you may feel betrayed? Are you willing to tolerate the memories you'll have of the pictures they have on their phone?

because none of that's going away. So it's not about whether you can forgive them, it's about whether you can tolerate your memories, your pain and your stress that keeps coming back every time you look at them. Are you willing to change and adjust because now you know where they wanna go? And are you willing to go at their timeline, not yours? It's your question.

because none of that's going away. So it's not about whether you can forgive them, it's about whether you can tolerate your memories, your pain and your stress that keeps coming back every time you look at them. Are you willing to change and adjust because now you know where they wanna go? And are you willing to go at their timeline, not yours? It's your question.

That person at that time said, yes, I'm gonna wait. I believe in them and I'm gonna wait. And then the third step is, were they willing to fall in love with the same person who's now a different person? That couple's been together for as long as I've known them now. And it was a long process. It wasn't easy. If someone's an addict, it's gonna take a long time.

That person at that time said, yes, I'm gonna wait. I believe in them and I'm gonna wait. And then the third step is, were they willing to fall in love with the same person who's now a different person? That couple's been together for as long as I've known them now. And it was a long process. It wasn't easy. If someone's an addict, it's gonna take a long time.

By the way, the person who was doing the waiting, they probably lost years of their life while they were supporting that person as well. But they wanted to do that. They opted in for that life. And I don't think someone should be shamed or guilted for staying or leaving based on where they are in their life because you have to live based on your values.

By the way, the person who was doing the waiting, they probably lost years of their life while they were supporting that person as well. But they wanted to do that. They opted in for that life. And I don't think someone should be shamed or guilted for staying or leaving based on where they are in their life because you have to live based on your values.

And so, yes, you may end up realizing that 10 years down the line, you're married to someone who has a different set of values. And let's paint the opposite picture. They like where their life's going. They don't want to change. They don't want to go back to who they were. Sadly, you have to ask yourself the same question two and three. Do I wanna change with this change? Do I even have to change?

And so, yes, you may end up realizing that 10 years down the line, you're married to someone who has a different set of values. And let's paint the opposite picture. They like where their life's going. They don't want to change. They don't want to go back to who they were. Sadly, you have to ask yourself the same question two and three. Do I wanna change with this change? Do I even have to change?

Or actually, can I just be the same? And can I fall in love with this person again now that they're a different person? And if you can't, sadly, that is how things end. But you shouldn't force yourself to keep looking for the person they once were in the person they are today, because you're gonna spend your whole life searching for someone who's disappeared. or doesn't exist anymore.

Or actually, can I just be the same? And can I fall in love with this person again now that they're a different person? And if you can't, sadly, that is how things end. But you shouldn't force yourself to keep looking for the person they once were in the person they are today, because you're gonna spend your whole life searching for someone who's disappeared. or doesn't exist anymore.

And you're going to keep hoping and waiting for that person to come back. And people waste their whole life doing that when that person left a long time ago.

And you're going to keep hoping and waiting for that person to come back. And people waste their whole life doing that when that person left a long time ago.

I was just about to say that all of those questions are unanswerable. All of those questions have no answer. If I asked you the question to think about like, well, how long do you think it's going to take for you to figure out this addiction? That person doesn't have a clue. It's your timeline.

I was just about to say that all of those questions are unanswerable. All of those questions have no answer. If I asked you the question to think about like, well, how long do you think it's going to take for you to figure out this addiction? That person doesn't have a clue. It's your timeline.

And when you don't want to make it about your timeline, you want to make it about the person, what you're doing is you're actually putting pressure on them to change next week. I always say to someone, I'm like, it's going to take someone like seven years to change. Like if you really look at human change, it takes three to seven years for someone to actually change.

And when you don't want to make it about your timeline, you want to make it about the person, what you're doing is you're actually putting pressure on them to change next week. I always say to someone, I'm like, it's going to take someone like seven years to change. Like if you really look at human change, it takes three to seven years for someone to actually change.

So you're committing to a long period of time if you're gonna commit to change. And that's if someone's actually doing the work, putting in the time, putting in the energy. Now what ends up happening is people usually put in the energy, but then fall back. And when you're waiting for them to change, you're like, wait a minute, last month you were doing everything right. What's going on right now?

So you're committing to a long period of time if you're gonna commit to change. And that's if someone's actually doing the work, putting in the time, putting in the energy. Now what ends up happening is people usually put in the energy, but then fall back. And when you're waiting for them to change, you're like, wait a minute, last month you were doing everything right. What's going on right now?